


Make it count

by Aranee, intomyarms (justafei), justafei



Series: A World With You [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Begging, Blowjobs, Bottom Kim Jongin | Kai, Boyfriends, CEO Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Consensual Sex, Dancer Kim Jongin | Kai, Dildos, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff and Smut, Hyung Kink, Just tons of smut, Light Bondage, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mentioned SHINee Ensemble, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Needy Kim Jongin | Kai, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Romantic Fluff, Sex Toys, Sexting, Slice of Life, Smut, Teasing, They're Long Distance Okay, Top Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Vibrators, Well It Kinda Does But Not Really, kai is adopted, slight cumplay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:00:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 200,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23634991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aranee/pseuds/Aranee, https://archiveofourown.org/users/justafei/pseuds/intomyarms, https://archiveofourown.org/users/justafei/pseuds/justafei
Summary: Kyungsoo's back in Korea to finish his master's degree with the intention of returning to America in order to be with his boyfriend Jongin, who has just gotten his first big break in his career as a dancer. Work threatens to pull both of them apart, but they'll always find a way back to each other.(Part 2 of "A World With You")
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai, Kim Jongdae | Chen/Original Female Character(s), Oh Sehun/Original Character(s)
Series: A World With You [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650568
Comments: 249
Kudos: 203





	1. Prelude

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> To my returning readers, hi!!! <3  
> To new readers: This work is part of a series and while it isn't ~completely~ necessary to read the first arc to know what's happening, it's probably to your advantage to start with "I like hyung a lot" so as to get the entire story. Welcome, nonetheless <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jongin comes back from dropping Kyungsoo off at the airport.

It’s with a heavy heart that Jongin trumps back up the stairs, stopping just a minute to peek his head into the deserted guest bedroom, save the pile of Kyungsoo’s clothes on his desk chair for Jongin that he hasn’t moved yet and the lingering scent of cologne. Jongin knows he’ll probably end up sleeping here tonight despite the bare bed, just to cling to the memories of cuddling up next to his now-absent boyfriend. Jongin shrugs his shirt off, exchanging it for one of Kyungsoo’s before carrying the small stack of clothing to his room. Almost immediately he spots the white envelope lying neatly in the middle of his sheets. He recognizes the handwriting at just a glance when he picks it up, flopping onto the bed to tear the envelope open and yelp in surprise. He should’ve expected the rose petals. The letter is long--almost three pages, with another sheet behind the lines filled with Kyungsoo’s small, neat handwriting that Jongin briefly glances at before turning his full attention to the letter. The grammar is questionable in some parts where Kyungsoo couldn’t sort his thoughts out as fast as he wrote them down, but Jongin can almost hear Kyungsoo’s subtle accent and quiet voice, reading the letter out loud to him. 

_ My dearest Jongin,  _

_ My hand is shaking as I write this. Can you tell from my handwriting? Usually I don’t know how to open my heart to someone, but I try my best for you now.  _

_ I wish I didn’t have to write this letter to you. I wish that I could be there for you in the morning, sleeping by your side as usual. I wish that I could graduate and you are there to see me walk across the stage this summer. I wish that I can attend your spring showcase and then see you off to Vegas week. I’m so proud of you, baby.  _

_ I never thought that I would fall in love with someone so easily and so quickly as I fell in love with you last autumn after I came to study abroad in Boston. The funny thing is, I wasn’t even aware that your parents had a son despite glancing over their profile dozens of times. We’ve only been dating for four months, right? You asked me to your showcase on October 5, 2012. I asked you out on October 27, 2012--aish, Jongin, why are you so impatient? You couldn’t even wait until the morning after… I wanted to take you out to dinner, watch your face light up when I gave you the bracelet. Instead I had to half-ass a confession while you were crying on my lap.  _

Jongin bites his lip and smiles, feeling a ridiculous blush creep up his neck even though Kyungsoo isn’t there, smirking at him playfully. 

_ I guess that makes it more special though.  _

_ Jongin-ah, why does it feel like I’ve known you for my entire life? My future now revolves around finishing my master’s degree in Korea so I can return to you as soon as possible. Every second that I’m not with you my heart hurts. I don’t mean to hurt you. I hate it when I make you cry, and I’ve made you cry way too often that is acceptable. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I don’t deserve you. You’re cute and handsome. You’re a beautiful, talented dancer with big dreams (that are coming true now <3) and you have a smile that lights up the world--but I am just Do Kyungsoo, the nerdy little foreign exchange student who spends too much time on his laptop and not enough time cherishing you.  _

“That’s not true,” Jongin whispers to nobody in particular, feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes. “Hyung, don’t say that.” 

_ You’re telling me it’s not true, aren’t you? It is. Everyday I wake up and think how I’m so incredibly lucky to have you clinging to me like a little bear in your sleep. I pray that you won’t find someone else to take my place--I want you all to myself, it’s so selfish, so unfair to other people. You’re mine, right? Because I’m yours, even if I’m not there by your side. You know what is ridiculous to you, but I was scared out of my mind to meet your friends. I didn’t think that they would accept me, especially when Baekhyun-hyung’s first impression of me was a slap across the face. But your friends were kind to me, and I felt like I was welcomed--especially Chanyeol. We have lots in common and he gives me advice. Yes, your all-knowing Kyungsoo-hyung needs advice sometimes too, can you believe it? It’s because I feel like a complete mess when it comes to you. You take my breath away.  _

“Hyung, that’s so fucking cheesy,” Jongin rolls his eyes and wipes away his tears furiously, giggling a little to himself. When did he start crying? He was doing so well, too. 

_ I love the tie that you gave me, Jongin-ah, but you know what the greatest birthday present I’ve ever received was? It was you, calling out for me, giving me a kiss the second I turned twenty-four years old. I felt so, so lucky. Jongini… the things I would do, if I could just wake up like that tomorrow, with you calling my name and leaving a kiss on my cheek. My heart pounds just thinking about it. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that. And the look on your face when you saw me after your long search on your birthday. That’s a close one too. I’ve never had anyone look at me like that before. Kim Jongin, be honest with me. Am I really that amazing to look at? You look at me with more adoration than when you’re watching Lee Taemin fancams. And here I was, thinking I was just a placeholder until you met Taemin. Don’t get my hopes up like this, Nini. How are you even real?  _

“Never gonna meet Taemin… you’re my placeholder forever.” Jongin’s tears splash onto the page as he turns the paper over. He doesn’t know if they’re happy tears or sad tears, but there’s a wide smile plastered across his face. 

_ I didn’t know I was capable of loving someone so much until I met you. In retrospect, I’m so glad I took you up to New York, even if it was just out of the blue like that. It seemed like for the weekend, I could just pretend that we weren’t parting, and that I could spend the rest of my days like that with you, carefree and always together. But this is so unlike me that I’m laughing at myself as I write this. Life goes on as usual--there are Yixing’s to be texted and for you, dances to be choreographed. And maybe we wouldn’t cherish the time that we had as much if we knew that we had unlimited time to play together. Maybe it’s better this way, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. But I just know I’ll look forward to when you run into my arms at the airport when I come back.  _

_ Baby, do you remember the big argument that we had back in January after our birthdays? Remember how I met with Yixing-hyung right before I went to your studio? We were talking a little about you, and he said that a relationship is like a SLA negotiation. I doubt you know what that is--I’ll explain it to you. _

_ In short, SLA stands for “Service Level Agreement”. And it’s a commitment between a service provider and client. I use them all the time. What they do is they basically create an outline of what the client should expect from the provider. Creating one takes a lot of compromise before both parties come to an agreement. I hope you can see where I’m getting at, and maybe you’ve guessed what the next page is…  _

Jongin briefly ruffles through the three pages filled with Kyungsoo’s neat handwriting and bursts into goofy laughter at the attached SLA on the last page. 

_ This is my way of making a promise to you in the way that I know best. Text me after you read this, sweetheart, and let me know what you think.  _

_ Baby, I love you so much, you know? Actually, I don’t think you know. It’s hard for me to express my emotions, and the most I can do is reassure you that you are loved infinitely more than you could ever think yourself to be. Jongin-ah, wait for me to come back home.  _

To come back home.  _ Home _ . Jongin is home. Jongin is crying and laughing and slightly hysterical. Kyungsoo’s precious letter is going to rip if any more tears splash onto the page. 

_ Just three things, remember for me. I won’t leave you. I’m coming back. I love you. Okay? It’s okay. Don’t cry, sweetheart. Keep yourself busy. It’s okay to be sad. But I would rather see you happy. Do not put your life on hold, waiting for me to come back. You must work hard at So You Think You Can Dance during Vegas week for yourself, not only me, okay?  _

_ I know it’s going to be hard, but I want you to remember the happiness that we’ve created over just four short months. Baby, sweetheart, Nini. Make it count. You are brave, strong, and talented. You can do everything you want without me. You are so beautiful and handsome and loved. Whatever happens next, you know I’ll be by your side.  _

_ Read our contract now, carefully. I can hear you coming home from the studio, so I’ll stop here. I love you. Good-bye for now, my precious Nini bear.  _

_ Do Kyungsoo. _

_ 22 February 2013  _

Jongin sniffles as he turns to the final page, Kyungsoo’s SLA. The diction is formal and so unlike his love letter or even school essays. This is Kyungsoo’s professional, businesslike side coming out, yet typing up a silly, playful contract of their relationship for Jongin. And strangely, Jongin loves this even more than the long-winded love letter that Kyungsoo just wrote. Because this is the side of Kyungsoo that is most confident in his abilities, unafraid of mistakes, positive that in the end he’ll get what he wants. Jongin feels it--Kyungsoo’s even gaze, the no-nonsense voice reading the contract aloud even when he knows Kyungsoo is flying away from him some 33,000 feet up in the air. 

“Ahem,” Kyungsoo would say, clearing his throat dramatically just to make Jongin giggle. And Jongin would lean against his shoulder comfortably as Kyungsoo adjusts his glasses and turns to the contract. 

\--

Service Level Agreement 

General Information 

Purpose

The purpose of this SLA is to outline the availability of Do Kyungsoo as a boyfriend and to remedy any failures on his part to deliver on the promises in which he has stated to Kim Jongin. 

  * Do Kyungsoo will do his utmost to remain in-touch and up-to-date with all of Jongin’s activities as well as remain a loyal and committed boyfriend up until his return date after all required components are completed at Seoul National University. 



  
  


Performance Metric

| 

Metric  
  
---|---  
  
Abandonment rate (percentage of calls that Kyungsoo may not pick up)

| 

5%  
  
ASA (Average Speed to Answer)

| 

Text: 5 minutes

Sext: 0.6 seconds 

Call: 10 seconds 

Email: 24 hours

Mail: 4 weeks  
  
Operation Hours

| 

Due to the time difference between Seoul and Boston, Do Kyungsoo will be available to talk anytime except between 1:00pm-6:00pm (EST) aka 2:00am-7:00am (KST)  
  
MTTR (Mean Time To Recover after an outage of service)

| 

2 hours  
  
FCR (First Call Resolution: The percentage of issues/arguments that can be resolved without a need for further discussion or a callback)

| 

75%  
  
Update frequency (Do Kyungsoo’s activities)

| 

Minimum of 1 update per day  
  
  * If the metrics outlined in this agreement are not met, the service is self-correctable and Do Kyungsoo shall adjust his schedule accordingly to meet all of Kim Jongin’s requirements for him. All such corrections will be fixed within 48 hours.
  * If details within the contract are not compatible with the client’s schedule, requests to fix or alter the contract in any way should be directed to the contact listed as “World’s Best Boyfriend” at the bottom of the page. 
  * In the event that the provider utterly fails to meet expectations outlined in the contract, the client is given full permission to thus break communication and consider the contract null and void henceforth, provided that the client offers a full, fair explanation with the service provider for their actions. 
  * In the event that the provider goes above and beyond with reliability and responsiveness, the provider will expect a reward in the form of cute Kim Jongin selcas ~~and dick pics~~. 



Contacts

World’s Best Boyfriend: 

Do Kyungsoo 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~~ Arane and I are so excited to start the second arc of "A World With You!" Thank you for continuing to support me or if you've just picked up this work, hello~ and I really hope you like what I have in store >< This chapter was meant to just be a recap/flashback in the form of a love letter of a few key events throughout Jongin and Kyungsoo's time in the first arc... as well as a cute anecdote :) Looking forward to writing! Love you all XOXO~


	2. therapy session (if yaknow what I mean)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The date is March 27, 2013--5 weeks after Kyungsoo has left.

“Minseok-sunbae!” The sides of Jongin’s face pull up into a small smile when he walks into the familiar department store and spots Minseok behind the counter, who’s eyeing the few customers in the shop half-heartedly. 

“Oh, Jongin!” Minseok’s gummy smile makes an appearance and he straightens up off of his elbows. “Nice to see you.” 

“Happy birthday, sunbae.” Jongin holds up a mini bundt cake wrapped and packaged neatly in colorful cellophane. Minseok looks surprised, then grateful. 

“You didn’t have to, Jongin. This is too kind.” 

“Don’t be impressed, I got it from the new bakery across the street from the university.” Jongin laughs. “I can’t cook or bake at all.” 

“Nonetheless, you took the time to get it for me. I’m grateful, thank you.” Minseok carefully sets the cake down next to his bag behind the counter. “Are you done with classes for the day?” 

Jongin nods. “Yep. I have dance practice later tonight but I just wanted to drop by. Did you want to grab a coffee or something when you get off?” 

“Oh! We can, if you want.” Minseok glances at the clock. “I get off in fifteen minutes, actually. You have good timing.” 

“No, just good memory. You told me your shifts.” Jongin laughs a little. “I’ll buy your coffee, sunbae?” 

“I won’t let you do that. You’re younger.” Minseok shakes his head firmly. “This is more than enough, Jongin,” he adds, gesturing to his cake when Jongin opens his mouth to argue the inevitable. “I’m touched that you came to visit me.” 

“Sunbae visits me on campus, too,” Jongin mumbles a little to the carpet.

“Well, yes, but I should anyways, as a favor to Soo. How’s he doing, by the way?” Minseok falters a little as a customer comes up to the desk for help, offering Jongin an apologetic glance as he walks away briskly. Jongin leans against the counter and pulls out his phone just as it vibrates. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

did you visit minseok? Its his birthday today

[Jongin]

I’m with him right now! 

Its late for you… go to bed

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I am

texted to tell you good night

[Jongin]

good night hyung :) 

I love you

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Love you

Gn

I expect to wake up to a cute selca

[Jongin]

Mayyybeeee

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

The SLA decrees it to be so 

:P 

[Jongin]

Maybe

Go to sleep 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Will do

Gn~

Jongin slips his phone back into his pocket just as Minseok returns. 

“Was that Kyungsoo?” Minseok notes the smile that Jongin’s trying to suppress all too knowingly. Jongin nods and lets the wide grin light up his entire face. 

“Ready to go, then?” Jongin heaves his school backpack up on one shoulder and follows Minseok out of the store. 

“So yeah, how is Soo these days?” Minseok asks when they settle into a small cafe within the mall. 

“He’s good! He was a little stressed trying to adjust back to his schedule and everything for this semester, but I think a lot of his time is just spent working on his master’s thesis right now. And he and Junmyeon reconnected again and started testing the remote tutoring tools they’ve been building with some students and contracted tutors alike. And something something OOM errors have been haunting him the past few days. Whatever that means. He may as well speak Korean.” Jongin rolls his eyes affectionately nonetheless. 

“Hmm. Yeah, he texted me a while ago but we actually haven’t talked much. I’ve been neglecting my promise,” Minseok wraps his hands around the warm mug regretfully, “I told him I’d take care of you, but all I’ve done is text you and visit a few times… ” Jongin shields his eyes from Minseok playfully, grimacing at the last memory. 

~

_“Jongin, you’re a fucking train wreck right now, you know?” Sehun sets Jongin’s backpack down while Jongin slumps into the wooden picnic table with red-rimmed eyes and a puffy face._

_“You don’t have to point out the obvious.” Jongin pulls his hood over his head. It’s Kyungsoo’s sweatshirt, actually. He hasn’t taken it off in days._

_“Jongin--” Minseok’s face only twists into a sympathetic smile on the other side of him, rubbing his back soothingly._

_“I miss him…” Jongin whimpers into the cotton sweatshirt._

_“No shit.” Sehun again._

_“Shut_ **_up_ ** _, Sehun!” Jongin wipes at his tears angrily._

_“S’okay, Jongin.” Minseok’s hand doesn’t stop rubbing circles. “C’mon. You have class in a few minutes.”_

_“I don’t want to go.” Jongin’s voice is hollow; has been since the harsh reality that Kyungsoo really is gone for four or more months set in._

_“Let’s go to class.” Sehun’s voice is clipped but understanding, and he’s even picking up Jongin’s backpack for him. “Sunbae, thanks for visiting. Sorry for interrupting work.”_

_“Don’t worry about it.” Minseok stands up as well. “Feel better soon, Jongin.”_

_Jongin hiccups slowly as he stands up. “G’bye, sunbae.”_

~

“I hope you’ve been better since then, Jongin.” Minseok’s eyes are sincere and hold no trace of judgment. “I know it’s hard to adjust to a long-distance relationship.” 

“I’ve adjusted.” Jongin smiles awkwardly. “I’ve been meaning to apologize--I was really rude and--” 

“Please don’t worry about it, Jongin. We all do shitty things when we’re stressed. I understand, I really do. You’re not the only one who’s gotten his heart broken.” 

“Kyungsoo didn’t dump me,” Jongin laughs at Minseok’s wording. 

“There are multiple ways to feel a heartbreak.” Minseok answers matter-of-factly, sipping his coffee carefully. “It does look like you’ve been better since then, though. At least you have a little color in your cheeks now. Are you losing weight?” Jongin glances down at his own body. 

“I don’t know…?” 

“It looks like it.” Minseok’s brows furrow. “You still need to take care of yourself, Jongin-ah.” 

“I am, I’m really better these days. It’s probably because I’ve been spending more time in the studio, sunbae.” 

“You know, Jongin, you don’t have to call me sunbae.” Minseok huffs in mock annoyance. “Just call me hyung, I really don’t mind.” 

“Are you sure? I don’t mind calling you sunbae--you’re older than Kyungsoo and I really respect you…” Jongin shifts slightly in his seat. “I don’t want to offend you.” 

“You can call me whatever is comfortable, Jongin. But there’s no need to be so formal, really.” Minseok smiles patiently. “Anyways. Just make sure you’re taking care of yourself. You can tell me as little or as much as you want--I’m not one to judge.” 

“Oh--right.” Jongin laughs. “I forgot you’re a psychology major. PhD, nonetheless.” 

“That’s right. Believe me, Jongin, I’ve gotten much, much worse than a disinterested attitude before.” Minseok laughs along with him. "Believe it or not, I quite enjoy this part-time job. I don’t mind keeping myself busy, and the department store is a nice way to get a discount on clothing.” Minseok winks. “Besides, I people-watch all the time.” 

“Ahh, I see.” Jongin stirs the cream around in his latte some more. 

“You can visit me in my office or here anytime. I can’t guarantee I won’t have a patient that I’m working with at the moment, but your presence isn’t a disturbance. I just want to make sure that you’re okay. Aside from Kyungsoo’s intimidation factor, my job is to make sure people are at a good place in life.” Minseok’s smile is almost angelic. “And I enjoy seeing a familiar, rather unproblematic face once in a while.” 

“Am I unproblematic?” 

“Oh, yes. Seems like you solve your problems on your own while dancing. I see it a lot in athletes actually--replacing mental or emotional pain with the strain of physical exertion. I suppose it works as a coping method, but just make sure you aren’t overdoing it. You need to eat and take care of your body as well. Speaking of which--” Minseok reaches over to the small cake and carefully unwraps it. “Shall we share?” 

“Oh--if sun--hyung wants me to.” Jongin jumps in surprise, intently listening to Minseok’s careful analysis of his behavior. “I just feel like I’m more at peace this week as well, though,” Jongin begins. “Kyungsoo calls and texts me all the time, and even though it’s not the same as having him with me, I feel like he never leaves me out of the loop with his life. And he was really happy when I showed him my new SHINee cover--” 

“On your YouTube? The ah, what was it--” 

“Dream Girl, yeah. I have 100k subscribers now.” Jongin shakes his head in disbelief. “I really enjoyed their Japanese comeback a couple of weeks ago as well. But Fire is a ballad without choreo, so nothing to cover for me, sadly..” 

“Are you planning on covering all of their comebacks?” Minseok looks amused as he cuts a slice of cake for Jongin. 

“Maybe. I like learning them.” 

“Never thought you’d be a little SHINee fanboy.” Minseok laughs. “I’ve told you before you have an idol-esque look about you, right?” 

“I prefer to follow my idols rather than become one myself.” Jongin accepts the plate gratefully. “Thank you, hyung. Won’t you make a wish?” 

“Alright.” Minseok chuckles as he closes his eyes and clasps his hands together. When he opens them again, Jongin claps lightly. 

“Do you have any plans for tonight?” Jongin asks, picking up his fork. 

“I do, but you’re good company, too,” Minseok replies easily. “This is very comfortable. I don’t mind not making a big deal out of me getting older…” Minseok grimaces and laughs along with Jongin. 

“You’re still young,” Jongin argues. “You’re not even that much older than Kyungsoo.” 

“True,” Minseok agrees easily. “I’m not _really_ that worried about my age.” They fall silent, save the clinking of forks against plates. Jongin opens his mouth to speak at the same time that Minseok does. 

“So when is Vegas week for you?” Jongin allows Minseok to have leeway with the conversation. 

“Um… sometime after exams in late May. The schedule actually works out really well.” 

“Oh? What happens after that?” 

“Well, assuming I make it past the Vegas cut--which probably won’t happen--I’d be in the running for the Top 20, and then we’d just film episodes from there. 2 people get eliminated each week.” 

“But you are already filming, correct?” Minseok glances up and Jongin nods affirmation. 

“Yes. All the different auditions as well as Vegas week make up five or six episodes, if I’m not mistaken.” 

“Why did you say you probably won’t make the top 20?” Minseok inquires. “I think you could, Jongin.” 

“Thank you, hyung, but I’m not expecting to make it much further. These people all have tons of experience in competitive dance and for me to get into Vegas week is shocking, to say the least. I’m just trying to grab some screen time.” Jongin smiles. “I think I already have some--they might be including a bit of footage from my audition and maybe an interview if I’m lucky. There were some really talented dancers though. I enjoyed watching everyone else.” 

“Ah… as long as you aren’t bothered by it.” 

“I’m not. It’s fun while it lasts. I’m still going to try my best of course--I’ve already started working on areas of dance that I don’t usually focus on, but yeah, I’m definitely not the cutthroat competitive type.” Jongin finishes the rest of his cake. “It’s a helpful distraction, too.” 

“I’ll bet. Keep working hard.” Minseok stands up as well. “Thank you for spending some time with me this afternoon, Jongin. And you know you’re always welcome to text me.” 

“It’s not a problem. Oh!” Jongin remembers as they walk outside. “Minseok-hyung, could we get a selca together? I promised Kyungsoo I would send him one.” 

“Sure.” Minseok leans in, putting up a cute peace sign. Jongin snaps the picture and glances at it, satisfied.

“Thank you. Happy birthday again!” Jongin gives him a little wave as they set off in opposite directions in the parking lot, then sends the photo to Kyungsoo with a little heart. 

[Jongin]

img.2301

miss u ^_^

\--

A few days later, Jongin is squinting down at his Korean textbook when he startles suddenly at the sound of the introductory notes of ‘Replay’ before eagerly turning to his phone and accepting the FaceTime call. He’s greeted by Kyungsoo’s forehead and part of a bare shoulder, buried in white sheets.

“Hyung, good morning,” Jongin props the phone up against a stack of textbooks. It’s about nine pm in Boston, which means it’s already ten in the morning in Seoul. The sound of sheets shifting comes through the speaker and Jongin moves to turn the volume down as Kyungsoo flips over onto his back, holding the phone above his face. He drops a hand down to rub his eyes sleepily and groans. 

“Morning,” Kyungsoo mumbles, pulling the sheets down to expose more of his bare upper body. “Sorry, baby, but you’ve been replaced.” 

“Wha…” Jongin tilts his head slightly in confusion before bursting into giggles as Kyungsoo pulls a teddy bear out from under the sheets and places it on his chest. He reaches for a stuffed paw and waves it up to the camera. 

“You still sleep with a teddy bear?” 

“No…” Kyungsoo flips to his side. The bear falls off his chest onto the bed. “I bought it for you but decided to sleep with it for the night before I ship it off.” 

“Well, how is he?” 

Kyungsoo pretends to consider the question for a moment. “Still not the same as you.” 

“Why is that?” Jongin drapes his head into his arms, peeking up at the camera over his bangs. 

“Cause he can’t wake me up with a kiss. And he doesn’t cling to me so tightly that I can’t even breathe.” Kyungsoo smirks. “Also he doesn’t wake me up with a blowjob.” 

“Oh.” Jongin blushes, at a loss for words. 

“And I’m in need of one at the moment.” Jongin inhales sharply in surprise and confusion. Kyungsoo tends to call almost everyday if he has time, but this is the first time since he’d left that he’d even hinted at sex. With a jolt, Jongin realizes the last time he’d actually had sex of any kind was over a month ago, before Kyungsoo left. After that, Jongin spent practically all his time moping and crying and then burying himself in homework and dance (not that those habits have completely died down yet, but Kyungsoo doesn’t need to know). 

“Er.” Jongin has no idea what to say. He decides to be honest. “I’m not sure what to… do? Say?” He can feel his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 

“Are you okay with this?” Kyungsoo’s voice is genuine and concerned, keeping his tone casual. 

“I’m… I’m okay, but I don’t know how… this is the first time you’ve called to have sex,” Jongin mumbles rather quickly. Kyungsoo doesn’t catch everything, but he gets the general gist of it. 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want--” 

“No!” Jongin flushes red. “Pleasedon’tstop,” he blurts out before covering his face with his hands. Kyungsoo looks at him with amusement and affection flickering through his eyes. 

“You’re so cute, Jesus Christ,” Kyungsoo brings a hand up to run through his short hair. Jongin peeks through his fingers at the screen, monitoring Kyungsoo’s movements but still hiding himself. 

“When’s the last time you came?” Kyungsoo’s voice is still as innocent as can be, but Jongin rushes to turn the volume down even more and close the door to his room quietly. Thank god for the architect who placed the master bedroom downstairs. 

“Er. The last time I came was with you.” Jongin’s voice comes out at barely above a whisper. Phone sex is weird, oh god… 

“ _Seriously?_ You didn’t masturbate for _five weeks?_ ” Kyungsoo makes a sympathetic face. “Poor Nini. All pent up and pining for hyung.” Jongin makes a noise somewhere between a choked groan and a cough. “Hey, that’s the same noise you make around my dick,” Kyungsoo observes, smirking when Jongin squirms in front of the camera, face still buried in his hands. 

“I don’t--how do we do this--this is weird, gahhh.” Jongin flops onto his bed. 

“Hey. I’m just gonna lead you through, okay? And stop me if you feel weird or uncomfortable. Yes?” Kyungsoo’s voice is gentle as he checks in with Jongin. Jongin nods quietly in assent, and Kyungsoo continues in a conversational tone. 

“You must be so needy now. I’m sorry I didn’t check in with you earlier, I’ve been feeling pretty shitty myself these past few weeks. But I didn’t think you wouldn’t even help yourself.” 

Jongin swallows hard. “I’ve been… busy.” 

“Busy enough to not even think about this?” Kyungsoo flips the camera and Jongin exhales shakily as Kyungsoo pans down his bare chest, teasingly sliding two fingers under the waistband, then just barely brushing over the tent in his pants. It amazes Jongin how fast Kyungsoo riles him up despite the shaky connection and casual tone of voice, as if they were having a conversation about the weather. Jongin has needs, and they all come flooding to the forefront of his mind. Jongin almost whimpers. 

“I did think about you, hyung.” 

“Not enough, apparently.” Kyungsoo’s voice is smug and deeper now, too. 

“I--I’m thinking about you… now.” Jongin’s suddenly aware of the throbbing in his own sweatpants. 

“What are you thinking about?” It’s a gentle nudge from Kyungsoo. “Don’t be shy, sweetheart.” 

“I just…” Jongin falters. “M’hard, hyung,” he whimpers barely above a whisper. 

“You wanna cum?” Jongin flinches and nods. “How do you want me to help?” 

“Tell me… what to do. And what you wanna do to--to me.” Kyungsoo inhales sharply. 

“Baby,” he starts in a saccharine tone, “you have no idea… The things I wanna do to you.” Jongin hangs on to his every word. “I wanna see you wrecked, baby,” Kyungsoo shifts a little in bed, flipping the camera back to his face. “I want to make you cum with just my voice.” 

“You can…” Jongin’s breathing is getting heavier by the minute. 

“My precious Nini,” Jongin doesn’t know whether to keep his eyes open or squeeze them shut as Kyungsoo stares at him hungrily through the camera, “I think about you so much. You wanna know what I thought about last night?” Jongin’s gut jolts. 

“What…” Jongin knows, knows what’s coming, he just wants to hear Kyungsoo tell him. 

“I thought about you writhing underneath me, moaning my name. Baby, you look so pretty when I have my fingers up in your tight little hole, stretching you out so you can take my cock.” Jongin has a shaky hand wrapped around his hard-on now, slipping it under the elastic waistband and pulling his sweatpants down just below his balls. He gasps at the contact, can’t help but pull a few long, firm strokes. His cock twitches in his hand as Kyungsoo continues in a low voice, raspy from having just woken up. 

“I touched myself thinking about you, Nini. Thank god I have a single dorm here, because if I had a roommate, they would’ve heard me groan your name when I came. Baby, you haven’t cum in so long. Does it feel good, touching yourself like that?” Jongin can only nod, his mouth already open in pleasure. “God, you look so pretty right now. Look at me, baby.” Kyungsoo’s eyes are filled with reverence when Jongin peeks at him through long lashes and heavy lids. “I missed seeing that look on you, sweetheart. You’re so beautiful when you’re turned on. I just want to kiss every inch of you and watch you squirm when I eat you out. I’m hard just thinking about it, baby.” Jongin gasps. 

“Kyungsoo…” It falls from his lips easily when Jongin wrenches his hand away from his erection to fumble for the lube. 

“Do you wanna see?” Kyungsoo’s breathing is heavy now, and he sighs quietly between the slick sounds of him no doubt jerking himself off as well. Jongin nods quickly, regretting it the instant Kyungsoo’s lips curve up into a smile. “Use your words, sweetheart.” 

“I wanna see,” Jongin gasps in between fast strokes of his lube-coated hand. 

“See what?” That damned smirk. It drives Jongin up the wall and he feels himself twitch in his hand. God, he’s so hard, could cum just from this, the barest stimulation of Kyungsoo’s onslaught of dirty talk. 

“Hyung,” Jongin pleads, but Kyungsoo’s smirk grows wider still despite his own fist wrapped around his cock. 

“You need to tell hyung what you want, baby.” Jongin moans in desperation, impossibly turned on from begging. 

“Wanna… wanna see how hard you are,” Jongin whimpers as the words come out of his mouth. “Wanna see your cock.” Kyungsoo fumbles with the phone slightly before flipping the camera around and Jongin keens in want as he watches Kyungsoo drift a lazy, slow hand over the base of his hard-on, dipping it underneath his balls to lift them up slightly. His cock sits flush against his happy trail, thick and heavy cradled in Kyungsoo’s hand. Kyungsoo delivers fast, firm strokes over the base and flared head, barely audible gasps filtering in through the speaker. Jongin is gone in an instant, muffling a moan by biting down hard on his lower lip when he cums messily into his hand, throwing his head back as sparks of pleasure tingle throughout his entire body.

“Soo… ah, Kyungsoo…” Jongin whimpers as he comes down from his high. 

“Oh my god, baby, did that feel good? You look so gorgeous when you’re cumming, you make such pretty noises.” Kyungsoo flips the camera around and curses when it drops into the sheets. 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin whines when Kyungsoo doesn’t bother to pick up his phone again, instead only letting his low moans fill the silence and the visual of his ceiling.

“What is it?” Kyungsoo’s voice is definitely less controlled now. 

Jongin whimpers. “Wanna… wanna see you cum.” 

“M’so close, baby.” Kyungsoo fumbles with the phone again, providing a shaky visual of his blissed out face. Jongin gasps and precum dribbles from the tip of his still-hard cock. 

“Hyung, I--I--” His hand wraps around his cock once more without Jongin even realizing it, flying over the shaft once again. The needy little whimpers and moans that fall from his mouth are a dead giveaway, and Kyungsoo doesn’t miss them. 

“Oh my god, you’re still hard?”

“Haven’t cum in a while,” Jongin whimpers, rubbing over the tip of his cock. “Need more, hyung.” 

“Shit,” Kyungsoo’s eyes are dark with lust. “Touch yourself, then, baby. Make yourself feel good, you deserve it.” Jongin obeys almost instantly, bucking up into his own fist once again with breathy whimpers and moans. The pleasure tips just on the border of overstimulation and sensitivity but Jongin keens, still riled up. 

“Please,” he begs without knowing what he’s even begging for, “please.” 

“Sweetheart, show me, wanna see your pretty cock, all hard and leaking even after cumming,” Jongin whimpers again. God, Kyungsoo’s mouth is so, so filthy, he loves it. Kyungsoo promptly moans when Jongin directs the camera to his still-hard cock, covered in strings of white cum.

“Sweetheart, will you cum with hyung? I’m so close, wanna cum with you, knowing my Nini feels good,” Jongin pants as he feels his second climax approaching. “Wish I could feel you clenching around me when you cum, oh, god, you feel so tight and perfect for your hyung.” Jongin gasps and Kyungsoo grunts in frustration, desperately trying to stave off his orgasm. “Baby, can’t hold it anymore,” Kyungsoo grits his teeth, “Cum with me, Nini,” 

“I’m cumming,” Jongin gasps when he cums a second time, making a mess of himself between his legs. “Soo…” Kyungsoo keeps his eyes glued hungrily to his screen, reaching his own peak as he watches Jongin’s cock spurt white streaks of cum over his boyfriend’s hand and lower body. Jongin pulls his fist up the base tightly to milk every drop out of himself, whimpering from sensitivity as he does so. “Soo,” Jongin whimpers again, “Soo. Kyungsoo.” 

“Jongin-ah, m’right here. You okay, sweetheart?” Kyungsoo notes the trembling lilt in Jongin’s voice and strains to discern the difference between pleasure and sadness. 

“I miss you,” Jongin whimpers, flipping the camera around to his face. Kyungsoo relaxes slightly when he sees Jongin’s dry eyes and flushed cheeks. “I miss you, want you here with me.” 

“I miss you, too, sweetheart,” Kyungsoo’s chest suddenly aches, feeling empty without a warm body to hold and cuddle post-orgasm. “I miss you more than I can bear.” 

Jongin chuckles tiredly. “Nice pun.” 

“Unintended, Nini bear.” Kyungsoo’s mouth quirks up a little at the younger’s good mood. “Was that okay? It wasn’t too weird, was it?”

“It was a little weird,” Jongin winces as the fog of lust clears from his brain, “But I--I want more like… just like this, maybe…?” Jongin flinches at the implication of his words, but Kyungsoo only smiles gently. 

“It is okay with me if it is okay with you. We’ll do whatever is comfortable for you, sweetheart.” Jongin nods. 

“Hyung…” 

“Hm?” 

“I’m tired now…” Jongin stifles a yawn. “Been busy all week… barely got any sleep.” 

“You can sleep in tomorrow though, right? It’s Friday night for you.” Jongin nods in agreement. 

“I’m gonna clean up.” Jongin tells Kyungsoo before throwing his phone carelessly into the covers, leaving the visual dark for a few minutes. Kyungsoo follows suit before returning a few minutes later to see Jongin neatly situated back at his desk again. 

“How is your visa application going, hyung?” 

“My H-1B? Stressful.” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Lottery process. Have a lawyer. Really hoping I get it, otherwise my plans are kinda screwed. But then again, everybody else applying would probably say the same thing…” Kyungsoo sighs. 

“If you don’t get your visa, you won’t be able to move, will you?” Jongin’s mouth twists to the side. 

“I can still visit you,” Kyungsoo is quick to reassure. “I’ll just… have to figure something out. Maybe I’ll enlist and then try again next year… I really don’t know. Let’s just hope I get it.” 

“When will you know? If you get it or not?” Kyungsoo laughs, but there’s no real humor to his voice. 

“It’ll be months. Don’t worry about it for now, baby.” Jongin shrugs and smiles slightly, letting the subject drop. There’s a comfortable silence in which they take in each other’s limited presence before Kyungsoo speaks again, this time to gently reprimand Jongin. “Nini, you should eat something. You shouldn’t go to bed hungry.” 

“I’m not hungry, hyung.” Jongin fiddles with the bottom of his--Kyungsoo’s--shirt. 

“You look so skinny in all the pictures you send me. And even now, when I look at you…” Kyungsoo reaches out towards the camera, as if to cup Jongin’s cheek, watching how Jongin tilts his head to fit neatly into the palm of Kyungsoo’s hand. “Please, you have to take care of yourself.” 

“I am, really!” Jongin pouts. “I haven’t been neglecting my health. It must’ve been from the stress and work lately. But I’ve been happy, hyung. You call me everyday, I can’t hide anything from you. Besides, it’s okay if I lose a little weight before Vegas week--” 

“Nini. You will not starve yourself for a TV show.” Kyungsoo’s voice is businesslike. 

“I’m not doing it on purpose,” Jongin sighs. “I’ll make sure to send you pictures of all my meals from now on, okay?” 

Kyungsoo’s eyes light up. “You’re so smart.” 

Jongin pulls a face. “You’re making fun of me, aren’t you?” 

“Uhm, partially, but I wouldn’t mind if you actually went through with that plan.” Kyungsoo sighs. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m your second mother or your boyfriend.” 

“Hyung, that’s incestuous.” 

“What’s that?” 

“What the fuck--” Jongin’s at a loss for words. “How do I translate--” 

“Google translate, dummy.” 

“No, it’s just like… a sexual relationship between family members, okay? Whatever that is in Korean.” 

“Oh.” Kyungsoo bursts into laughter. “Nah, baby, I’m teasing.” 

“I know.” Jongin smiles. Then, because he is the softest, he adds quietly, “I love you, hyung.” 

“I love you, too, sweetheart. So, so much.” Kyungsoo blows him a kiss and Jongin catches it, tucking it into his pocket just for show and pulling out a finger heart. 

“I’ll send you your teddy bear this afternoon,” Kyungsoo pulls himself out of bed to fumble for clothes and get the day started almost reluctantly. “Er… I should do a little work, baby…” 

“Oh. Okay. I might go to sleep early then. I was going to do some studying, but I’m so tired--” Jongin stifles a yawn in the back of his hand. “You know how I finish classes at three on Fridays? I was at the studio for about five hours after that.” 

“Nini, always the hardest worker.” Kyungsoo sighs so quietly that Jongin barely manages to catch it. “Don’t run yourself down, I suppose. Although it’s good to keep busy.” 

“I know. I like getting my mind off of things.” Jongin waves to say good-bye. “I’ll text you when I wake up.” 

“Sure, baby.” Kyungsoo waves as well before blowing a final kiss. “Love you. Miss you. Good night.” 

“Bye-bye,” Jongin whispers before ending the call. He heaves a deep sigh before returning to the Korean textbook lying open in front of him despite his promise to sleep early to Kyungsoo. If he concentrates hard enough, he knows he’ll forget about the gaping hole in his heart clawing at him, even if just for a couple hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ First "official" chapter I suppose? Hope you guys liked it! Thank you for all the comments, I was so happy to see that many of you had continued on to this arc as well <3 You guys are too kind! Also I'm glad you guys liked the contract... Arane and I thought it was a cute idea, too. ;)  
> \--  
> After much deliberation, I have decided to open an Ao3 twitter account if you guys would like to follow me/get to know me a little better! You can find me as @kidonNini (have also included the link below) and also I have a Curious Cat account if you're shy >< both links are below! I'm a fan account for mostly EXO but also SHINee and NCT. I'll also post whenever new chapters of ongoing series are up, new tropes in the works, and previews of new ideas! Also if you guys have requests or ideas for a chapter, I'd be really happy to take them as well (more details to come later). I'm excited to meet some of you guys!!! <3
> 
> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/kidonie_)   
>  [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kidonNini)


	3. dick successfully secured! happy birthday sehunnie!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not KaiSoo-centric (the first of its kind) in order to set up for life around KaiSoo as well as introduce more shenanigans in the AU. Nonetheless, I hope you will all enjoy :)

Kyungsoo frowns as he squints at the mess of code on his screen. In theory, his idea shouldn’t be too difficult, but then again, as Kyungsoo always aptly puts it, some things are better resolved with action. Except in this case, Kyungsoo has no idea how to take action; apparently he’d overestimated his ability to program an Android app. Or write code in Java.

“ _ If you continue to frown like that, you’ll get permanent wrinkles.”  _ Junmyeon’s humor fucking sucks, but at least he’s worried for Kyungsoo. _ “What’s up? _ ”

Kyungsoo pulls a face despite Junmyeon’s warning. “ _ You don’t have experience with the Android SDK by any chance? _ ”

“ _You know very well that it's on the exact opposite side of the stack from where my strengths are._ ” Junmyeon’s laugh is self-deprecating. “ _But why are you suddenly doing mobile? I thought you were working on the video encoding?_ ” Kyungsoo panics as Junmyeon walks over to peer at his screen and slams his laptop shut. He’ll never be able to face Junmyeon again if he finds out what Kyungsoo’s doing.

“ _ I-I’m just experimenting with it… for fun, code’s a mess. _ ” 

Junmyeon stares at him suspiciously before breaking into a teasing smile.  _ “C’mon. Let me see it, maybe I really can help.”  _

_ “Yah, you  _ **_just_ ** _ said you couldn’t do mobile for shit.”  _ Kyungsoo glares at him and keeps a firm hand over the top of his laptop. 

“ _ Jikdo is all about enabling curiosity to pursue limitless learning. Let me see, _ ” Junmyeon’s still poking at his shoulder playfully and he even has the audacity to use Jikdo to back his argument. Kyungsoo is really blown away by his confidence sometimes. 

“ _ Curiosity killed the cat.”  _

_ “Satisfaction brought it back.”  _

_ “I’m not satisfying you.”  _ Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and suppresses a smile at his own wording. Thankfully, Junmyeon lets the subject drop so Kyungsoo hesitantly redirects him back to his original plea for help. 

“ _ But seriously, have you done Java before? I’m at a loss about how the Android network stack works and it doesn’t help that I have to figure Java out at the same time. _ ”

“ _ That I can help with. I haven’t done much, but it’s probably enough for the questions you have. _ ” Kyungsoo nods his thanks, showing Junmyeon the Android SDK documentation. Junmyeon answers most of his questions, and when he leaves the room to grab a snack, Kyungsoo has to muffle his laughter into his sleeve. Jongin has no idea what’s coming. 

“ _ By the way,”  _ Junmyeon says as he walks back into the room with an apple, “ _ The H-1B application, you turned yours in, right?”  _ Kyungsoo nods and twists to look at Junmyeon. 

“ _ Did you?”  _ Junmyeon nods, having planned to return with Kyungsoo to the states in order to work on Jikdo and building up the company. “ _ Okay, I’m going to be honest with you, the odds are pretty against both of us getting the H-1B this year. It’s about a 50% chance, which is not terrible, but…”  _ Kyungsoo gets it, feeling his heart sink a little. More than likely, one of them will have to wait to try again next year or figure out another way. 

“ _ Ah…”  _ Kyungsoo groans and pinches his nose in between his forefinger and thumb. “ _ So fucking bothersome.”  _ Junmyeon nods fervently in agreement. 

“ _ I mean, we’ll keep our fingers crossed, but just figured you should know.”  _ Junmyeon hesitates for a moment.  _ “You gonna tell your boyfriend? Jongin?”  _ At this, Kyungsoo shakes his head vehemently. 

“ _ He’ll only worry, and he’s been doing really well recently. I don’t want to bother him until we know for sure if we get it or not, and that’s a long way down the road.”  _

“ _ If only one of us gets it, I really hope it’s you, Soo.”  _ Kyungsoo twists his mouth into a wry smile but the look in Junmyeon’s eyes is sincere. “ _ Don’t argue. You know you have more waiting for you in America. I can always enlist and then catch up with you. You have Yixing as well.”  _

“ _ Let’s just hope the odds are in our favor, okay? Don’t be so chivalrous.”  _ Kyungsoo snorts. “ _ Save it for your own boyfriend.”  _

“ _ What boyfriend?”  _

“ _ You’ll get a boyfriend  _ **_eventually,_ ** _ won’t you?”  _

_ “Geez, I hope so. You look so happy talking to Jongin everyday.”  _

\--

[Dae-hyung]

Happy birthday Sehunnie~ 

^_^ Did you get my gift? 

Sehun glances at the stuffed seal and reaches over Jongin-- who’s currently laying on his stomach on Sehun’s bed--with a long arm to cradle it. He snaps a few pictures with the stuffed animal before sending the best one to Jongdae. Jongin glances up. 

“Who’s that?” 

“Jongdae.” Sehun glances down at his phone. “He wished me a happy birthday.” 

“Ah…” Jongin rolls over and sits up only to continue tapping away at his phone. “So he’s alive after all.” Sehun lets out a short laugh at this. 

“Yep. What are  _ you  _ looking at?” Jongin flips his phone around to show Sehun the new fansite pictures of Taemin and Sehun snorts. “Don’t laugh! He looks so cute…” Jongin coos as he glances at the pictures again. “I want his shirt.” 

“Yeah, okay dude.” Sehun turns his attention back to his own phone again. 

[Dae-hyung]

Awwww how cute! 

I’m glad you liked it

Sehun’s mouth quirks upwards. 

[Sehun]

me?

or the seal

[Dae-hyung]

You, of course :)

Yep, Sehun’s heart is going to burst. His hyung is too sweet for his own good. Still, his face remains rather stoic as he replies. 

[Sehun]

ah

“Seriously, you don’t think he’s cute in the slightest bit?” Jongin shoves his phone under Sehun’s nose again with another picture of Taemin pulled up. Sehun shrugs. 

“He’s not my type.” 

“Okay, but that’s not even valid,” Jongin splutters. “I’m dating Soo and he looks nothing like Taemin-sunbaenim.” 

“I meant he’s not my  _ idol  _ type,” Sehun amends. 

“Who’s your idol type?” 

“In SHINee?” Jongin nods. 

“Key.” Sehun turns back to his phone. 

[Dae-hyung]

You doing anything fun tonight?

[Sehun]

Yeol is in town this weekend 

usual gang

going out 

“Why Key?” Typical Jongin. He’s only ever this talkative about three things: Dance, Kyungsoo, and SHINee. Sehun sighs, especially when he sees Jongdae’s incoming texts.

[Dae-hyung]

You know I’d kiss you if I were there!!

Chu~

Just a lil peck :)

For my favorite dongsaeng

God, Sehun  _ wishes.  _

“Sehunnie, answer my question,” Jongin’s feet rest against Sehun’s back and his head is practically hanging off the other side of Sehun’s bed. 

“I don’t know,” Sehun shrugs. “He’s cuter than Taemin?” Sehun knows he’s asking for Jongin’s indignant splutter, but thankfully, Jongin’s phone pings with a text before he can continue. Sehun doesn’t even need to glance at Jongin to know who it’s from with the way Jongin immediately pulls himself up into a better position and begins tapping away with no doubt a huge smile on his face. 

[Sehun]

pls don’t kiss me again

also I thought u told jongin he was ur fav

[Dae-hyung]

Well, he doesn’t care anymore

As long as he’s ksoo’s fav. 

Sehun chuckles at this. Jongdae is right. And maybe Sehun actually misses Jongdae’s platonic kisses on the corner of his lips or the warmth of having his favorite hyung in his lap while they watch a movie. Sehun’s heart twists a little as he types the next part. Beside him, Jongin giggles at something Kyungsoo sends him. 

[Sehun]

u right

how are u and ur gf btw

[Dae-hyung]

We’re good!

Still going strong

[Sehun]

u never even told me her name

[Dae-hyung]

Oh, I didn’t?

Seojun 

Heh sorry

[Sehun]

that’s good hyung

i’m happy for you

[Dae-hyung]

Nobody yet for you? 

_ You,  _ Sehun thinks.  _ You, for the past four years. _

[Sehun]

no

[Dae-hyung]

Sehun 

Are you still sleeping around 

[Sehun]

yes

the dude i told u about at xmas still comes over once in a while

we just fuck tho

also i met a cute guy yday at a party

[Dae-hyung]

Baek is right… 

Think about taking someone seriously Sehun

You seem so uninterested in anything romantic

[Sehun]

i’m good hyung

i get dick without strings attached

u know me

[Dae-hyung]

You can’t live like this forever

[Sehun]

who said anything about whoring around forever

im goin through my slutty phase let me live my hoe-y university years out in peace 

:^)

[Dae-hyung]

Alright then… 

Sorry Sehunnie I gotta go

Happy birthday again~ 

Have fun tonight!

[Sehun]

will do

ty 

bye hyung

Sehun heaves a sigh as he clicks his phone shut. If Jongdae were interested in men, Sehun really would’ve just spit it out ages ago--he’s not one to beat around the bush. But unluckily for him, Jongdae is as straight as a ruler and has never seen him as anything more than a younger brother, despite all his playful antics and eyelash-batting. 

_ ~ _

_ “Will you kiss me?” Hell yes. Sehun glances at him weirdly and scrunches his nose up.  _

_ “You have a girlfriend. And you’re the straightest person I know.”  _

_ “But I’m lonely.” Jongdae bats his eyelashes. “Come kiss me, what’s wrong with a brokiss?” Everything and nothing. Sehun dreams of kissing him and a lot more. Jongdae doesn’t wait for a response, instead bounding into Sehun’s lap and making himself comfortable. Sehun has no idea what to do, and yet, his hands circle Jongdae’s waist naturally and pull him upwards as if he’s been doing this for his entire life. Jongdae’s eyes are alight with mischief and Sehun is miserable and ecstatic all at once when he drops a brief kiss halfway on Jongdae’s lips. On the bright side, at least there’s no way Jongdae knows about his crush. Otherwise he wouldn’t be so cruel as to tease Sehun like this, perching on his lap for the rest of the evening, laughing into Sehun’s neck like there isn’t a girl in California waiting for him to fly back, and even kissing him again during New Year’s. That one was a full kiss, too--Jongdae kissed him full on the mouth, even lingered a bit until Sehun pulled away to remind himself that hoping was utterly useless.  _

_ ~ _

It would be easier, probably, to cut off all communication until he can get a grip on himself and finally get over his stupid little high school crush, but he can’t. He just keeps watching Jongdae from a distance and thinking about how nice it would be if Jongdae liked dick as much as he did. And so Sehun sleeps around like all other love-lost fools do when they’re young and horny and maybe a bit hopeless. Jongin interrupts his thoughts by chucking a pillow at him. 

“Time to go. You were really drifting off there for a second, huh?” Jongin eyes him almost suspiciously. Nobody else has an inkling of Sehun’s little secret, why he’s so disinterested in relationships, only looking for hookups with no strings attached. Sehun shakes his head to clear his thoughts.

“Sorry. Yeah, let’s go.” 

\--

“Whoo!” Baekhyun screeches when Sehun bowls a strike and even lets a rare smile grace his sharp features as he saunters back to the table. “Nice one, birthday boy.” He clinks glasses with Sehun and drinks a deep draught of beer before standing up for his turn. Of all four people there tonight, no doubt Byun Baekhyun is the happiest--he gets a surprise visit from his boyfriend, he can get drunk and have sloppy sex tonight, and he gets to eat Sehun’s chocolate birthday cake. Although Jongin seems pretty happy, too--at least he’s not snapping at everyone every other second anymore and he’s even started to return to his fashionable habits instead of moping around in Kyungsoo’s plain clothes. As for Sehun, he’s gotten really good at pushing Jongdae to the back of his mind, especially when Baekhyun just buys him a drink or two. He can pass easily for legal age with his intense eyebrows and sharp facial features. Jongin only blushes and shakes his head when offered alcohol nowadays (probably Kyungsoo’s doing, and he’s never been one to drink anywho). At least Baekhyun doesn’t pressure him into it anymore. 

“God, Baek, you  _ suck,  _ babe.” Chanyeol snorts as Baekhyun bowls a gutter ball and Jongin shrieks with laughter, clapping his hands (and feet) together hysterically. “Sehun’s murdering you.” 

“You act as if you’re any better than Kai.” It’s Jongin and Sehun against Chanyeol and Baekhyun, and the table looks on as Jongin carefully knocks down seven pins then one more. Jongin accepts Sehun’s high-five when he walks back to his seat. 

“Nice, Nini.” Baekhyun slurs, and Jongin freezes at the nickname. “Ah, m’sorry.” Baekhyun runs a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. “Forgot.” 

“S’okay.” But Jongin’s smile is a little forced. “Sorry. Really, I’m okay.” 

“We understand,” Chanyeol begins, significantly less sober than his fiance, but Jongin shakes his head. 

“I’m doing fine.” But Sehun knows Jongin isn’t completely okay, that he is still clinging onto his coping habits even though he might not  _ rely  _ on them to just get through everyday anymore. He can physically see Jongin’s already-thin waist still getting smaller and smaller with every passing week. Jongin’s eyes have permanent dark circles under them, and while normally Sehun might just be impressed and then ask Jongin for help, Jongin’s skyrocketing grades are actually incredibly worrisome. Not to mention Jongin’s increasing hours at the studio. This is what they’ve come to, honestly, just two best friends who are both fucked up in their own way. Sehun makes a mental note to secretly text Kyungsoo so at least one of them can fix their problems.

“Hello? Sehun?” Jongin waves his hand in front of his best friend’s face. “Your turn.” 

“What about Chanyeol?” 

“He already went…” Jongin glances at him again. “You okay, Sehunnie?” 

“Just a little tired.” Sehun stands up to bowl a spare. Baekhyun makes another gutter ball, Jongin surprises even himself with a strike, Chanyeol scores an 8. Game over. SeKai decimates ChanBaek. Sehun finishes the rest of his beer as Jongin downs his Sprite, then taps Sehun’s shoulder to get his attention. 

“Did you notice that cute guy staring at you from the next alley?” Baekhyun cranes around immediately to look and Sehun focuses his attention on the lane next to them as well. Cute is definitely the way to describe him, Sehun thinks. Floppy brown hair, maybe a little taller than Baekhyun but shorter than Jongin, and bright eyes that catch Sehun’s gaze then look away, either shy or intimidated. Jongin nudges him playfully again. 

“Wanna show him your birthday suit?” 

“I’d rather see his,” Sehun murmurs, eyes on the boy’s ass as he bowls a nice spare. The boy’s attention immediately goes back to Sehun, as if looking for his approval, and Sehun winks and smirks ever so slightly. It works. The boy’s cheeks go pink and he ducks his head as he makes his way back to his group of friends who jostle him playfully. Baekhyun sniggers and slams back his fourth beer of the night, then drapes himself around Chanyeol. 

“I can talk to him, if you’d like,” Jongin offers, already messing up his hair to frame his face. “Be your wingman for the night.” 

“Yeah, Sehunnie, get that bussy!” Baekhyun shrieks way too loud, and Chanyeol slaps a hand around Baekhyun’s mouth. “That’s not the way to shut me up, babe,” Baekhyun mumbles around Chanyeol’s hand. Chanyeol only sighs as Baekhyun licks his palm brazenly. 

“Go for it.” Sehun’s drunk and slightly horny. This is nothing out of the ordinary. Also, Jongin’s strut is  _ so fucking impressive,  _ Sehun thinks. Chanyeol apparently thinks the same thing, because he whips out his phone to record Jongin’s backside as he saunters over to the group of boys. 

“Kyungsoo’s gonna enjoy that,” Chanyeol murmurs. Sehun nods vehemently in agreement. Just gays helping gays out. 

“Hey.” It’s performance time for Jongin as he lowers himself into a vacant seat at the table without an invitation, crossing one long leg over the other and directing his smile to the slightly disappointed boy sitting across from him. “What’s your name?” His friends exchange suppressed grins and smirks. 

“Hui,” is the soft response. Jongin offers a half-flirty, half-friendly smile. 

“It’s cutie in my book. Sorry,” he adds as his friends crack up, “bad pickup line.” 

“Er… You’re really cute, too, but I was more interested in your friend over there,”  _ Oh,  _ Jongin thinks,  _ He’s more forward than he lets on.  _ Well, more power to him. Jongin shrugs. 

“Actually, I think Sehun’s pretty interested in you, too.” He leans forward conspiratorially. “It’s his birthday,” he confides in Hui. 

“I’m sure I can come up with a nice present for him.” Hui grins from ear to ear. 

“Why don’t you go let him know?” Jongin locks eyes with Sehun and they exchange a look of understanding.  _ Dick successfully secured! Happy birthday to Sehunnie!  _ Jongin stands up to leave, but the guy sitting next to him places a hand on Jongin’s and Jongin looks down, surprised. 

“What about you?” 

“Oh, I--I’m taken.” Jongin stumbles over his words and the boy withdraws his hand. 

“Sorry.” Jongin texts Kyungsoo the second he gets back to his own table. 

[Jongin]

Whatcha doing

I was playing wingman for Sehunnie and some guy hit on me

:3

Kyungsoo replies after a few minutes. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Hope you turned them down ;)

Chanyeollie sent me a video of your ass

Baby you’re so hot

“Chanyeol!” Jongin shrieks indignantly, and Chanyeol offers him a shit-eating grin. 

“You can thank me later.” Jongin sighs resignedly, but there’s a small smile playing at the corner of his face. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

If only they knew… 

[Jongin]

Knew what

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

That you’re my needy little Nini 

That you’re easy for hyung

Jongin shifts slightly. 

[Jongin]

Hyunggg

Please have mercy, I’m in public :(

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Should I let them know?

Make you blush so pretty and get you hard

[Jongin]

Noooooooo 

Nononoonono 

Kyungsoo sends him a kissy emoji face just as Jongin begins to think he might have to spend the rest of the evening in the men’s restroom. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Go enjoy your night, sweetheart.

Myeon is calling me

Bye~

[Jongin]

ttyl <3

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

What does that mean

[Jongin]

Talk To You Later

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Ah

Okay

TTYL

Love you

\--

“Heard it’s your birthday,” Hui whispers in Sehun’s dark apartment, hands already roaming at Sehun’s bare, broad chest and raising goosebumps all over his flesh. Sehun’s mouth presses against Hui’s lips. “Can I be your present?” 

“Sure,” Sehun mumbles around the kiss, sucking lightly. His hands wander down to palm at the boy’s bulge. Hui’s hands move lower, down to Sehun’s belt, then grope gently at Sehun’s half-hard erection. Sehun gasps but Hui moans in want. 

“Holy shit, are you a top? Please tell me you are,” Hui begs, clutching onto Sehun’s shoulders as Sehun backs him up until his knees hit the bed. 

“Hnnn… I’d love to see a pretty little thing like you writhing underneath me,” Sehun whispers hotly into Hui’s ear. “It’d be a nice birthday present.” 

“I didn’t expect a present as well,” comes Hui’s reply as Sehun licks little circles around his nipples while pushing Hui’s pants down. Sehun doesn’t answer, only smirks against Hui’s chest and wraps a hand around the smaller’s pulsing cock. 

“You’re so hard already,” Sehun’s chuckle is lethal. “How do you like it, cutie pie?”

“Mmmm…” Hui moans as Sehun tugs at his cock. “Fuck, give it to me rough, daddy.” At this, Sehun barks out a laugh. _ Daddy.  _ He can work with that, he supposes. Hui moves to undo Sehun’s belt buckle and extracts Sehun from his jeans. “Oh my god, you’re  _ so  _ big. Holy fuck, you  _ have  _ to put this thing inside me,” Sehun’s beginning to like him a lot. He’s vocal and handsy and maybe even a little kinky. 

“You a size queen or something?” Sehun’s suddenly pushed onto his back and the smaller boy settles himself in between Sehun’s legs, wrapping a soft hand around his cock and sucking on the tip with contented hums and moans. “Fuck.” 

“I don’t mind a thick cock up my ass.” Hui tongues at the slit then sinks lower, groaning again as Sehun grows and fills his mouth up when he swells to full hardness. “How big are you?” 

“Around seven and a half, I’d say.” Sehun gasps and grabs a fistful of Hui’s hair to shove him down around his cock. Hui gags, then relaxes his throat, allowing Sehun to gently thrust upwards a few times into his warm, wet mouth. “You like getting your mouth fucked?” Hui moans in response and moves a hand to wrap around whatever his mouth can’t reach. “S’cute.” Sehun interlaces his hands around the back of Hui’s head and sets a fast, hard rhythm. The boy gags each time, spit dribbling down Sehun’s thick cock. Hui can feel the tears streaming down his face, but truth be told, he doesn’t mind. Sehun’s never been very vocal in bed, but he wipes a dribble of saliva off the corner of Hui’s lips when he comes up for air in a gesture of carefulness. 

“Good boy.” Hui shivers. 

“You gonna fuck me now?” 

“C’mere.” Sehun manhandles him onto his hands and knees and Hui puts an extra arch in his back as Sehun reaches for the lube and condoms in his nightstand drawer. His hand comes down sharply on Hui’s ass and the boy yelps in pleasure and pain.

“Fuck, do that again.” Sehun obliges, harder this time, then stuffs a lubed finger into the boy’s hole. Hui promptly moans as Sehun wriggles his finger around, earning another louder whine when he finds his prostate. 

“Fuck, daddy, right there,” Hui ruts back onto Sehun’s fingers. “Just-- _ ugh-- _ just like that, don’t stop.” 

“Greedy bitch,” Sehun spits, but adds another finger. “All hard and leaking for just my fingers. Nothing’s gonna get you ready for my cock.” 

“I know,” Hui gets out between constant whines as Sehun curls his fingers expertly, making Hui’s toes curl in pleasure. “Oh, god, oh, fuck.” 

“Gonna stuff you full of cock,” Sehun mumbles, adding a third finger, then a fourth a little while later. Hui takes all of it with ease. “How do you want it?” Sehun asks, wrenching his hand out when he deems Hui stretched enough. The boy gasps at the lack of stimulation, but wriggles around onto his back and spreads his legs. Sehun pushes Hui’s leg back then gently directs him to hook his arm around his legs to hold himself open for Sehun, then rolls a condom onto himself and adds a generous amount of lube. 

“Hurry up,” Hui pants, watching Sehun’s every movement. “Fuck me hard, I wanna feel you for days.” 

“Oh, you’ll feel it.” Sehun rubs the blunt head of his cock against Hui’s hole, teasing both himself and his hookup before sliding in with a grunt. Hui produces a long, low moan deep in his throat and he clenches tightly around the intrusion.

“Oh, fuck, you’re so big, so thick, holy shit,” Hui pants. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” he whines as Sehun bottoms out. “Ohhhh my god. Please fuck me.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Sehun mutters as he gets a solid grip on Hui’s shoulders and snaps his hips sharply in and out of the shorter boy. He’s actually insatiable. “You like that? Daddy’s thick cock fucking you hard and fast, stuffing your ass full?” Sehun’s voice is low and deep, a seductive purr as if he’s not affected at all by Hui’s walls squeezing around his cock as he ruts in and out. 

“Yes, daddy,” Hui moans, hands dropping his legs to run them wildly through his hair then claw at Sehun’s back with how good it feels. Sehun hisses at the fingernails that run down his back and thrusts faster. He shifts slightly to get a better angle and suddenly Hui wails. 

“Daddy, right there, oh god, oh fuck--” Sehun slams into Hui’s prostate with every thrust so hard that the headboard rattles. He’s positive he’ll get a noise complain tomorrow from his neighbors but tonight he doesn’t care, he just wants a good fuck, the thrill of taking a near-stranger home but getting so intimate. Sehun chases after the feeling of blissing out with alcohol and sex. Hui cums untouched with a cry and Sehun follows shortly thereafter with a grunt, spilling into the condom and twitching inside of Hui before sliding out slowly. 

“Do you want me to leave?” Hui asks as Sehun gets up to dispose of the condom and get a wet rag for Hui. 

“Not unless you need or want to. I’m not that type of guy. You can stay the night.” Hui cleans up and quietly accepts the shirt that Sehun chucks at him. When Sehun climbs back into bed, Hui cuddles up to him with zero qualms, tucking himself into Sehun’s broad chest. Sehun tenses up, then slowly relaxes, snaking his hand around the boy’s shoulders. Hui reaches up to press their lips together softly and Sehun stiffens again. This isn’t a kiss driven by lust or desire, it’s sweet and almost endearing, but Hui seems to notice his discomfort and gently cups Sehun’s thin cheek in one hand. 

“Relax, dude. I’m not looking for anything. I’m just cuddly and touchy. You’re really hot, by the way. Awesome bod.” Sehun exhales, curls his arm to bring Hui closer to him. 

“You’re pretty cute yourself, kid.” 

“Thanks.” Boy, he’s talkative. Sehun’s sleepy, his back kind of stings from the scratching, and the alcohol is pulling him under, but Hui just keeps talking. “How old are you?” 

“Just turned 19,” Sehun mumbles with closed eyes.

“Oh shit, really? Thought you were older. That’s cool though. I’m actually 18, I turn 19 in a few months. Are you okay with that?” Hui considers his questions, then laughs to himself. “Actually, I suppose you have to be now. Sorry, I should’ve told you before we hooked up.” 

“S’fine.” 

“Happy birthday, Sehun. Hope you liked your present.” Sehun hums, then slurs out an answer after a minute. 

“Yeah, you were great.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ Arane and I actually thought long and hard about this chapter and played with multiple ideas before finally finishing this update. I'd love to hear you guys' ideas as to where the story is going! Thank you for all your support :) Also! I was very happy to see some of you on Twitter <3 Welcome~   
> -  
> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kidonNini) or [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/kidonie_) if you're shy!


	4. blonde lee taemin in a hat !

“Hey, Sehun.” Someone’s shaking his shoulder and he brushes them off, refusing to open his eyes. His head spins and his body feels tight and stiff.

“I’m gonna leave, okay? I left my number on your nightstand, call me if you wanna fuck again. Shit, you’re even hotter in the morning.” Sehun doesn’t even know who’s blabbering in his apartment this early in the morning. 

“‘Kay,” Sehun mumbles, not bothering to get up. 

“Thanks for a fun night! I hope I see you again!” The boy chirps, and Sehun raises a slow hand. He doesn’t open his eyes until his apartment door has slammed shut, reaching for the slip of paper on his nightstand. Holy fuck. The nerve of him. He actually left his number and woke Sehun up at seven in the morning to tell him good-bye. Sehun groans and closes his eyes again. 

-A few days later-

“Hey.” Kyungsoo twiddles his fingers at his computer, smiling at Jongin’s little grin. “What are you working on, sweetheart?” 

Jongin glances down at his Korean textbook and closes it quickly. He’s been taking Korean classes in the hopes that he might be able to surprise Kyungsoo when he comes back, but of course his boyfriend doesn’t need to know that yet. “Statistics.” 

“Do you need help?” Jongin shakes his head. 

“Hyung, I got an A on my last test,” Jongin tells Kyungsoo, and feels his chest swell with pride as Kyungsoo’s mouth splits into that heart-shaped smile. 

“ _ Really _ ? That’s amazing!” Jongin giggles a little at Kyungsoo’s proud expression, but also at his accent, which has become a lot stronger in the past couple of months. 

“Hyung, your accent is really making a comeback,” Jongin tells him, and Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. 

“I thought you said it is cute.” 

“It is,” Jongin coos, “but it’s also strange. I’m so used to hearing your near-fluent English.” 

“It… It’s because I have not talked in English to anyone since I come--er, since I came back,” Kyungsoo corrects himself. “Only you.” 

“S’okay. You’ll learn it again when you return.” Jongin’s face falls slightly. “I miss you,” he whispers just loud enough for the camera to pick up. 

“I miss you, too, baby.” Kyungsoo’s voice is also tinted with a bit of sadness even as he smiles slightly. “Ah. Also. You look… too skinny.” 

“I’ve been eating three meals a day.” 

“Of what? Fruit? Banana milk? Salad?” Jongin shifts uncomfortably. Kyungsoo really knows him too well. “Sehun text me. He said that you were neg-negl--”

“Neglecting myself? I’m not,” Jongin makes a mental note to kill Sehun later. “I’m just studying and dancing these days.” 

“When I told you to distract yourself, I did not mean like this.” Kyungsoo looks stern. “Baby, be honest with me. How bad is it?” 

Jongin closes his eyes. “Hyung…it’s honestly not that bad.” Kyungsoo opens his mouth to retort, but Jongin presses forward. “I’m feeling more normal, but it’s just that working hard has become a habit now, and so I can’t really break it? I have to dance more to get ready for Vegas week anyways. I’m proud of myself when I understand concepts and score high on tests. But I,” Jongin swallows hard, “I can’t sleep at night because you used to always hold me and now… you know?” 

“Oh, sweetheart…” Kyungsoo’s hand reaches out to touch Jongin’s face before he can stop himself. There’s an irrational tingle of anger that runs up his spine when he only touches his computer screen. 

“I use your cologne and uhhh, hug my pillow sometimes,” Jongin admits, a small flush spreading across his cheeks. “It helps a little, but not… not really.” 

“Sweetheart,” Kyungsoo’s at a loss for words. “I’m sorry,” he manages. “I miss holding you, too.” 

“Don’t be sorry, hyung.” Jongin sighs quietly. “When do you get back?” He asks petulantly, tugging on the strings of his sweatshirt. “Next month?” 

“Not May… I will still be in school.” Kyungsoo expects a kicked puppy face, not a look of confusion. 

“School doesn’t end in May for you?” Kyungsoo slowly shakes his head no. 

“We end in July, baby… Like most other countries do.” 

“ _ What _ ? When is your spring break?” 

“I spent my ‘spring break’ with you in America, sweetheart,” Kyungsoo explains patiently, fighting the urge to laugh. “Our first semester start beginning of April. Run until July.” 

Jongin’s face is completely flabbergasted. “But don’t you graduate in your  _ second  _ semester?” 

“In Korea we can start our year in first or second semester, which mean I can graduate in July,” Kyungsoo brings a hand up to his forehead. “You are so cute. All Americans are cute. They all think the world runs the way they do things, when it is actually complete opposite.” Kyungsoo can’t help the laugh that bubbles up from his throat now. “I can probably be back in America around mid-August.” 

_ Now  _ Jongin looks like a kicked puppy, and Kyungsoo almost regrets his choice of words. Nothing is worth seeing Jongin’s dejected look. 

“I thought you didn’t come back for spring break because you had work… and I thought there would only be about a month and a half left until I saw you,” Jongin pleads. “So I have to wait another THREE and a half months?” 

“I am sorry, Nini. I do not make the rules.” Kyungsoo holds his hands up in a gesture of apology. 

“Hyung, you said we’d be apart for four months. We’re going to be apart for  _ six. _ ” Jongin looks like he’s ready to cry, and Kyungsoo’s heart cannot stand it. 

“I am so sorry, baby. I graduate in July, but I must have time to defend my thesis. I promise I will be back as soon as I can.” 

“This isn’t fair.”

“I do not make the rules, Nini. I am sorry. Trust me, I want nothing more than to be with you again.”

Jongin runs a hand through his hair. “You graduate in  _ July?”  _

“Yes. July.” Kyungsoo’s torn between laughter and the aching feeling of missing Jongin. “I sent your stuff today, by the way. Hopefully it will get to America soon.” 

“The teddy bear? I thought you sent it at the beginning of April.” 

“Ah, I sent you some other stuff as well. Download and install this on your phone, by the way.” Kyungsoo pulls up a link and texts it to Jongin. 

“What is this?” Jongin obediently follows Kyungsoo’s directions. 

“You will find out when you get the package.” Kyungsoo winks--blinks--and Jongin laughs around the hollowness in his chest. 

“I still can’t believe you started school just days ago,” Jongin blurts out, and Kyungsoo bursts into laughter again. “What were you doing for all of March then?” 

“Projects. My thesis. Jikdo. We are given that time to complete things but we do not have any classes.” 

“ _ WHAT?”  _

\--

“Hey,” Baekhyun takes Sehun and Jongin by surprise, mumbling around a mouthful of sandwich one day at a cafe on campus. He slides into the booth next to Jongin without an invitation. 

“Hey,” Sehun replies. 

“Oh! Hey Baek.” Jongin scoots to the right. Baekhyun nods at Sehun. 

“How was that hookup last week? On your birthday?” Sehun bursts into peals of laughter. 

“He literally  _ would not stop talking.  _ Also he cuddled up to me when I was about to sleep and he kissed me in a totally non-sexual context.” Baekhyun chokes around his sandwich and claps his hands like a seal. “The sex was great, though. Oh! He left his number and woke me up at seven to tell me he was leaving.” Sehun smirks and runs a hand through his hair. “He was funny.” 

“See what happens when you sleep around,” Jongin chides, spearing a piece of arugula on his fork. “You meet strange little twinks who call you daddy despite being months younger than y--” 

“He called you  _ daddy?”  _ Baekhyun goes straight into another fit of hysterics, calling over onto Jongin’s shoulder, causing the arugula to tremble violently before landing on Baekhyun’s shirt. 

“I think I made a pretty good daddy.” Sehun is unruffled. “Maybe I’ll text him again sometime if there’s nobody around.” 

“There isn’t, you’ve slept with every gay guy on campus by now.” 

“How do you know there isn’t some poor closeted boy that secretly yearns for a big dick--” 

“Oh my god, are you Kai?” Sehun and Baekhyun both break off (Sehun looking far more unfazed than he has any right to be) as Kai stands up slightly to scribble an autograph and offer a smile for a selca. “Thank you,” the student gushes. “Can I ask if you were planning on covering the new SHINee comeback?” 

“Of course!” Jongin perks up. “I’m so excited, have you seen the teasers?” 

“Yes!” The fan bobs her head up and down eagerly. “I can’t wait for next week. When does it come out again…” 

“The 24th, next Wednesday,” Kai answers immediately. “So you’re a Shawol as well?” 

“Actually, your cover got me into SHINee.” The fan looks shy and suddenly, Kai does as well. 

“Oh… Me? I, well--er, I’m flattered--” 

“Yeah. Thank you, actually. I really love your covers and all of your dancing. I hope that everything works out for you!” 

“Thank you,” Kai murmurs, even bowing a little. “It means a lot to me, seriously. Thank you.” The fan leaves and Jongin settles back down, fanning himself embarrassedly and picking up his fork again. “Oh my god. I can’t believe I got someone into SHINee.” 

“Ah, at least you’ve finally succeeded,” Baekhyun sighs, picking up his sandwich again. “You’ve been trying for  _ years  _ to convert me into a Shawool.” 

“It’s ShaWOL, and you should watch their new comeback next week, it’s called ‘Why So Serious’--” 

“I’m never serious.” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows at Jongin. “Thanks, but no thanks.” 

“You are a performing arts major. You are supposed to appreciate  _ all music,”  _ Jongin fumes, finally getting a piece of arugula in his mouth. 

“I can still have preferences. Just like how Sehun likes all sex but especially enjoys being called daddy.” Sehun offers no remark, just puts another chip in his mouth. Baekhyun reaches for one and Sehun tips the bag towards him, then offers it to Jongin, who shakes his head. 

“Nope, I insist.” Baekhyun plucks another chip from the bag and pokes it in between Jongin’s lips. “Kyungsoo texted every single one of us to tell us that if you eat another piece of rabbit food without actual sustenance, he will personally drop by to murder us all.” 

“You call this actual sustenance?” Jongin takes the chip anyways. “Also I had oatmeal this morning, but it wasn’t as good as when Kyungsoo makes it.” He heaves a sigh. “I miss--” 

“Yeah, we know.” Baekhyun pops the rest of his sandwich in his mouth. 

“You’d think for a guy who’s been in a long-distance relationship for 5 years, you’d have a little more sympathy.” Jongin pulls a disgruntled face that just ends up looking downright adorable. 

“Payback time, sweetie.” Baekhyun grins and drapes an arm around Jongin’s shoulder. “If you ever need snuggles, you can come to me, though.” Jongin lets the subject drop, knowing it’s just Baekhyun’s roundabout way of saying he cares. His phone buzzes at that moment and he reaches for it immediately. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Saw this, thought about you

I am sure you already know, though :)

Jongin smiles at the sweet text, but his happiness only intensifies when he clicks on the link that Kyungsoo sent him and is met with the teaser schedule for SHINee’s comeback. 

[Jongin]

YESSSSSSSSSSS

Are you excited? 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Not as much as you are probably

But I will look forward to your cover

♥

“Kai,” someone calls, but Jongin barely hears them. 

[Jongin]

They look sO GOOD

Sdkfjwalkjew

Hyung look at Taeminnie

img.4532

Blonde Taemin is superior ;-; 

did you see

bby looks so good

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

He is not as cute as you

[Jongin]

That’s CHEESY and FALSE

taemin’s on some king SHIT this cb he’s sooOOO 

Just 

Ugh ;-;

ohmygod

I can’t breathe

I’m so excited

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Calm down O_o

[Jongin]

It’s going to be so good hyung

just wait

they’ll wreck me

QUALITY

CONTENT

HYUNG

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Do I not wreck you enough ?

[Jongin]

not these days

Have to rely on shinee

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Again 

I am painfully reminded that I am only a placeholder

[Jongin]

yep 

:3

<333333333~~~

I LOVE YOU

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

You love SHINee more…

[Jongin]

~~ imean... ~~

BUT I LOVE YOU TOO

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

You are so loud when you get excited… 

TT_TT 

[Jongin]

<33333333

“KIM KAI!” Baekhyun lands a punch on Jongin’s bicep and he flinches, finally glancing up from his phone with a ridiculous goofy smile.

“Sorry, what?” 

“Holy fuck, you’re whipped. That’s disgusting. Never mind.” Baekhyun stands up to take his leave. “Good luck, Sehunnie.” 

“Hyung, you’re just going to leave me to deal with him?” Sehun stares incredulously at Baekhyun who blows an obnoxious kiss and saunters out of the cafe. Jongin only rolls his eyes and glances back at his phone. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Can I call you when I wake up?

[Jongin]

I will be at the studio…

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

:(

Are you eating?

It is lunchtime

“Jong, let’s go.” Sehun tugs impatiently on the sleeve of Jongin’s coat. “Text him while walking.” 

“You better not let me hit a pole.” 

“Oh, the things I do for you,” Sehun grumbles as they walk out of the cafe. Jongin leans his head against Sehun’s shoulder affectionately before turning his full attention to his phone again. 

[Jongin]

Just had lunch with Sehun

Baek surprised us too

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

What did you eat

[Jongin]

Ummm

Salad… 

And a chip 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

-____-

What did I say about eating more

[Jongin]

Sorry

I had oatmeal this morning tho

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Okay, but you have to eat dinner 

Okay? 

Send me a picture

Do not skip because dance. 

[Jongin]

:^)

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I’m serious. 

[Jongin]

<3

Chu~

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Kim Jongin.

img.2340

[Jongin]

AHHHHH

hyung’s selca ;-;-;-;-;-;-;

So handsome~

Your hair is getting long 

Awwww HYUNGGG

>< so cute

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I did not even smile… 

?

[Jongin]

Hyung you’re so handsome

thats my new wallpaper btw

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

What is btw

[Jongin]

By The Way

I’ll have taeminnie for lock screen and u for home :) 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Um

Okay. 

But I am serious

Send me a picture of dinner 

[Jongin]

okokokok

I have to go to class now

You should sleep

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Go to class. 

I have to study

Love you sweetheart~

\--

It’s more than a week later when Jongin enters the house rather noisily, a dance bag in his arms and backpack slung over his shoulders, and drops a handful of groceries with a sudden thump. 

“I’m home!” he calls to whoever might be listening, tossing his things on the stairs carelessly before delivering the groceries to his mother in the kitchen. 

“You’re early today,” Marie remarks, accepting the bag. “Thanks.” 

“Yeah, Arden said she had to get home early and I just didn’t feel like practicing. I recorded a new dance cover for my Youtube channel, though.” ‘Why So Serious’ had come out a few days ago, and Jongin promptly squealed, then texted Kyungsoo the second the music video had dropped. 

~

_ [Jongin] _

[ _ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgeAmF7bgoE _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgeAmF7bgoE)

_ HYUNG _

_ IT’S HERE _

_ OHMYGOD _

_ Jjong’s not in it ;-; _

_ BUT LOOK _

_ OHMYGOD TAEMINNN _

_ OHMYGOD _

_ TAEMINNIE _

_ BLONDE TAEMIN _

_ IN A HAT _

_ IN A CUTE AF HAT LOOKING CUTE AF FUCKKKKKKKK _

_ ONEWWUWUWUWU _

_ [ksoo hyung ♥♥♥] _

_ Oh my goodness _

_ Okay let me watch it  _

_ Calm down _

_ [Jongin] _

_ idk if I want Taemin to throw me across a football field or if I wanna squish his cheeks _

_ THE SONGS SO GOOD _

_ It’s so catchy _

_ listen to those VOCALS YESSSS _

_ TAEMIN MY KING  _

_ YES HIT THOSE NOTES BBY  _

_ Hit me while you’re at it ;-; _

_ Alkwejfla _

_ Slkfjwlke _

_ THE CHOREO THE CHOREO HYUNG _

_ THE CHOREO LOOKS SO FUN _

_ I’M GONNA START LEARNING IT TMRWLWKEJAOWEJ _

_ Nbdodfwy fcukin tlak to em im ;-; TAEMIN _

_ [ksoo hyung ♥♥♥] _

_ Okay.  _

_ [Jongin] _

_ Wait  _

_ No _

_ Come back ;-; _

_ IT’S SO GOOD ISN’T IT _

_ [ksoo hyung ♥♥♥] _

_ I am trying to watch but you keep spamming me baby _

_ [Jongin] _

_ Oh _

_ Sorry _

_ Hehe~ _

_ MINHOEEEEEEEEEE _

_ i’m a hoe for minho _

_ [ksoo hyung ♥♥♥] _

_ And not for me. I see how it is.  _

_ [Jongin] _

_ Well it’s  _ **_choi minho_ ** _ hyung _

_ I don’t have anything sfw to say about choi minho _

_ [ksoo hyung ♥♥♥] _

_ It’s pretty good~ _

_ Not bad. Excited to see your cover _

_ [Jongin] _

_ You won’t have to wait long _

_ Imma cover it tmrw  _

_ they all look so good ohmygod KIBUMMMMM  _

_ BLONDE TAEMIN.  _

_ BLONDE TAEMIN _

_ BLONDE TAEMIN _

_ BLONDE _

_ [ksoo hyung ♥♥♥] _

_ Should I dye my hair blonde?  _

_ O_O _

_ [Jongin] _

_ Please don’t I love your hair _

_ BUT BLONDE _

_ TAEMIN _

_ IN A HAT.  _

_ 00:13 HYUNG DO YOU SEE THIS SHIT _

_ HE’S NOT  _

_ LETTING ME LIVE _

_ LEE TAEMIN _

_ IS NOT TAKING ANY PRISONERS TODAY _

_ AHHHSDHFWIOAJFEAOJLKAJSDLF WA _

_ oh god PLEASE let him spit on me _

_ please i’ll do anything _

_ [ksoo hyung ♥♥♥] _

_ Wow.  _

_ [Jongin] _

_ Wow is right _

_ BLONDE TAEMIN IN A  _

_ HAT ! _

_ ~ _

“Alright. Oh, by the way,” Marie turns back to the stove, “a package came for you. I put it in your room.” 

“Did you open it?” Jongin demands, slightly uneasy knowing his hyung, and Marie throws him an affronted look. 

“Kai, when have I ever invaded your privacy like that before?” 

“Right, sorry.” Jongin sighs quietly. “I’m gonna shower.” 

“Alright, honey.” 

\--

Throwing an oversized shirt on and boxers with still-wet hair, Jongin turns his attention to the box in the corner of his room. He had expected a small parcel, not a giant box that’s surprisingly heavy as Jongin maneuvers it to the middle of his floor. Jongin settles down and pulls the box in between his legs to open it up, not quite sure what to expect. 

“Oh, shit,” Jongin murmurs, a smile already creeping across his face as he pulls out the layers of bubble wrap to reveal, well,  _ everything.  _ An envelope lays on top of all the gifts, neatly labeled with Kyungsoo’s name. Jongin rips it open, shaking it a little to keep the flower petals inside and not scattered all over his floor. 

_ This is the least I can do for you. I am sorry, baby. You deserve to be hugged and kissed and spoiled everyday. But I hope you will enjoy everything that I sent you. And please text me when you read this. Nini, I am never going to leave you and I promise I will come back to you. I love you.  _

_ Do Kyungsoo _

_ 15 April 2013 _

Jongin smiles and takes out two ziploc bags filled with all sorts of candy and snacks from Korea with a small note attached. 

“ _ Eat me ;)”  _

“Cheesy,” Jongin mutters, opening the bag and fumbling around for the chocolate that Kyungsoo knows he likes because Jongin stole his entire stash while he was still living in the adjacent room. Popping a piece into his mouth, he turns his attention to the box again and claps a hand to his mouth to keep from screaming. 

“Oh my gosh…” Jongin’s hands shake with excitement when he pulls out the SHINee World  _ and  _ Lucifer album, neatly tucked into a corner of the box. There’s also two poster tubes laid diagonally so that they *just* fit into the space. Jongin might cry. He really might start bawling. With shaking hands, he video calls Kyungsoo, who picks up almost immediately, seemingly having just woken up. 

“Hey, you’re home earl--Nini? What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo’s brows immediately furrow together in anguish when he sees Jongin’s trembling expression and he reaches out with a hand towards the camera instinctively. At the sight of his boyfriend, Jongin promptly sniffles and a tear rolls down his cheek. “Oh no, baby, baby, it’s okay--” 

“What did I do to deserve you??” Jongin cries out around the wave of emotional tears. “Why did you get me all this stuff?” 

“Oh my god.  _ Shit, you scared me so much. Baby, don’t do that, oh my god, I’ve never been more scared in my life. _ ” Kyungsoo’s English fails him and he switches back to Korean. Jongin twitches when he realizes he understands the majority of Kyungsoo’s words, but doesn’t stop wiping at his tears. Kyungsoo exhales relievedly. “I’m sweating, Nini. I got so scared.” He pulls at the neckline of his sweatshirt to exaggerate. “Jesus Christ. So the package came?” 

“YES, and there’s SO much stuff--” Jongin flips his camera around and the view lands on the albums. “You even got me SHINee…” 

“They’re everywhere in Korea,” Kyungsoo answers evenly. “It was easy to get the albums. If you like, I will send you ‘The Mis--uhh--Mis-con-cep-tions of Me’ as well.” Jongin just cries harder. “Did you see the rest yet?” 

“N-no,” Jongin fumbles with the phone and ends up propping it against the foot of his bed and adjusting himself to appear in frame. He peeks inside the box again and pulls out another one of Kyungsoo’s sweatshirts, as well as a few more t-shirts--probably ones that Kyungsoo didn’t bring with him to America, it seems. 

“This is really cute,” Jongin holds up a graphic tee. “I didn’t know you wore things like this.” 

“I do not. That is why I send them to you.” Kyungsoo smiles at Jongin’s shining eyes when he buries his face into the sweatshirt. “Does it smell like me?’ 

“Yes,” Jongin’s voice is tiny and Kyungsoo melts. 

“Don’t you use my cologne?” 

“I do, but this is like-- _ Kyungsoo  _ scent, not cologne scent.” 

“I do not understand what you mean, but okay.” Kyungsoo chuckles. “Keep looking.” 

“Face masks?” Jongin holds up the pack in delight. “K-beauty ones as well. Oh my gosh, hyung… you’re too much, really…” 

“It is not a big deal,” Kyungsoo insists. “This the least I can do since I am away.” 

“Ah, see,  _ this  _ is what I thought I was getting, not all of that,” Jongin laughs as he finally brings out the teddy bear. “Awe, hyung, it’s so cute!” 

“It looks like you.” Kyungsoo smiles as Jongin waves at him, then waves the bear’s paw as well. “I hope you maybe sleep better because of it.” 

“Maybe.” Jongin sighs. It’s been a while since he’s had a good night’s sleep. 

“One more thing, I think…” 

“No, two more… oh Jesus Christ, hyung, really…” Jongin sighs as he peeks inside the black mesh bag and turns red. 

“You barely looked at it. See if you like it,” Kyungsoo insists. Jongin gingerly reaches inside the bag as if afraid of detonating a mine. His face is pinched in embarrassment as he brings out the lacy dark blue panties and studies them scrutinizingly. 

“Nice color.” 

”I am glad you like them.” Kyungsoo spreads his hands in a gesture of innocence. “You should send me pictures.” 

“Maybe,” Jongin promises, rubbing the material between his thumb and index finger. “Face masks, lingerie, SHINee merch… people probably thought you were shopping for your girlfriend.” Jongin laughs. 

“They probably did,” Kyungsoo agrees. “But instead, it is for my cute, sweet little boyfriend.” 

“That’s kinda gay, hyung.” 

“I hate to break it to you, baby, but…” Jongin cackles as Kyungsoo wiggles his eyebrows. His boyfriend is so funny. “So what’s the last thing?” 

“Open it and see.” Kyungsoo shifts slightly as Jongin pulls out the box and gently opens it only to groan and turn even redder. 

“Really?” Kyungsoo chuckles at Jongin’s expression, torn between embarrassment and a thinly veiled longing. 

“Really,” Kyungsoo confirms, hiding a knowing smile behind his hand. “Will you use it for me?” Jongin looks to the half-closed door then back at Kyungsoo hopelessly. 

“N-now?” 

“Do you want to?” 

Jongin sighs quietly and fumbles with the box, taking the butt plug out. “Is… is it bad if I say yes?” 

“No,” Kyungsoo answers immediately. “Baby, you do not have to be shy with me. I like when you are open about your fantasies or your, ahm, feelings? What is the word… I just want to make you feel good.” 

“It’s just… it’s still really weird,” Jongin murmurs, examining the plug. “I don’t--like--touch myself that often, even, and then this stuff… I’ve never tried--” 

“Do you want to?” Jongin bites his lip and nods slowly. 

“I just. I miss you,” Jongin exhales hard through his nose, “In more ways than one.” 

“And that is perfectly okay,” Kyungsoo murmurs, staring intently at Jongin now. “Go close your door and put your earbuds in, sweetheart.” Jongin obeys and walks back in front of the phone, settling down on the floor and pushing the rest of his things out of the way. “You sure want to stay on the floor?” 

“Yes. I don’t have to hold my phone,” Jongin explains. Kyungsoo’s screen shakes a little as the elder adjusts himself in bed, propping up the pillows and shedding his sweatshirt to reveal bare skin. 

“Since when did you sleep with a shirt on?” Jongin inquires, eyes raking over the limited view. God, he’s drooling. Kyungsoo looks thick and strong, and Jongin kind of wants a hug right about now. “You look… wow… Hyung, are you going to the gym?” 

“It got cold in my room,” Kyungsoo explains. “I cannot control the AC from my dorm. And only a little. I am too busy, but Junmyeonnie drag me sometimes.” Kyungsoo sighs and rolls his eyes, but flexes just a little. 

“Ah.” Jongin hitches his own shirt up to reveal a tan stomach and thumbs along the waistline of his boxers hesitantly. A knock on his bedroom door makes him flinch violently. 

“Kai?”

“Yeah?” Jongin calls out, stealing a glance towards Kyungsoo whose eyes are wide and staring at Jongin. 

“We’re going out.” 

“Erm--okay, yeah, er, you can open the door--” Jongin scrambles up from his position on the floor, wrenching his earbuds out as he goes to peek out at his parents. “Where are you going?” 

“To meet some of Sam’s colleagues. Is that okay?” Jongin nods at his mother and waves them down the stairs. 

“Have fun. When will you be back?” 

“Late. Around one.” 

“Mmkay, bye.” Jongin shuts the door again and sighs shakily, making his way back to his position on the floor to see Kyungsoo fumbling with his laptop. “M’back,” Jongin mumbles, and Kyungsoo glances up. 

“It could have been worse,” Kyungsoo offers, cracking a smile. Jongin only brushes his bangs off of his forehead and sighs. 

“Okay. Sorry. Where--” 

“You look so cute.” Kyungsoo scrunches his nose up as he studies Jongin sitting neatly with his legs crossed, cupping his cheek with one hand as his elbow rests on his knee. “So neat and pretty.” 

“Oh.” 

“I should change that. It has… been a while, right?” 

“Yeah,” Jongin’s voice is softer now, perhaps more affected now that his attention is fully on Kyungsoo. “I-it’s been a couple weeks.” 

“Baby, you should take care of yourself, if you get what I’m saying…” Kyungsoo’s smile is half-teasing now. “And send me pictures as well. Remember the one I take--took--took?” 

“Yes.”

“In New York?” Jongin flushes red and tugs nervously at the bottom of his shirt, but Kyungsoo continues. “I look at it all the time, touch myself to it… You look so amazing, I can’t help it.” Jongin whimpers as his hand drifts towards his half-erection. “You look amazing now, too.” 

“I just took a shower.” 

“Wish I could have been there, then.” 

“Ah…” Jongin winces. “That’s… kinda cheesy.” 

“As long as it works.” Kyungsoo taps his temple jokingly. “Your parents just left, right?” Jongin nods. “So are you going to moan for me tonight?” 

“Jesus…” Kyungsoo’s so good at this. How does he manage to turn Jongin on with just his voice and a blurry view of his chest? “M-maybe?” 

“I want to hear you. All those moans and whimpers.” 

“Kyungsoo…” Jongin makes it breathy on purpose, but the name slips out unconsciously. His hand has already traveled down into his boxers and he bites his lip as he fondles himself to full hardness. Kyungsoo’s stare is intoxicating even through the camera lens; dark irises focused intently on Jongin, a fluttering of eyelids as he slowly works himself up as well to the visual of Jongin’s hand down his boxers and his mouth open slightly in pleasure. 

“That’s it…” Kyungsoo purrs, preening a little when Jongin calls his name again, this time with a hint of neediness. “Aw, sweetheart, we’re just getting started.” 

“Hmm…” Jongin scoots just slightly out of frame to grab the lube. “Soo,” he begins, leaning his head against the side of his mattress, “I want…” Jongin falters, but Kyungsoo pounces on it. 

“What does my baby want?” 

“I want to use… what you got me… is that okay?” Jongin adds quickly, blushing in spite of Kyungsoo’s earlier words, but Kyungsoo only nods slowly, eyes flickering to something beyond his camera frame. 

“Of course.” Kyungsoo’s smirk is knowing. “It’s only a plug, but you will look so pretty, stretched open for me. And it’s… special.” 

“Uh…” Jongin barely processes the last part of that sentence as he shoves his boxers down to his ankles, then tosses it carelessly to the side. “O-okay…?” 

“Get yourself wet, baby, then turn around and face me,” Kyungsoo instructs as gently as possible. Fuck, he’s so hard, Jongin looks so good like this, his long t-shirt  _ just  _ short enough to give Kyungsoo a glimpse of Jongin’s hard cock peeking out from under it. Kyungsoo hisses when Jongin shuffles around and presents Kyungsoo with a perfect view of his round, firm buttocks. 

“ _ Fucking shit, so pretty.”  _ Kyungsoo’s Korean is hot, Jongin decides as it filters through the microphone, his voice deeper and more affected than when he’s speaking English. “ _ Spread yourself out for me, let me see your tight little hole…”  _ Jongin obeys and Kyungsoo lets out a surprised little yelp. 

“You understood?” 

“A bit.” Jongin traces a lubed-up finger along his rim, teasing himself before sliding a finger in. “Ahhh, shit, it’s been a while,” Jongin pants. Kyungsoo feels like he’s about to explode right then and there. He can’t even bring himself to articulate words, only lets out a long, deep moan as his cock twitches and spurts pre-cum. 

“Oh my god,” Jongin moans as well when Kyungsoo does. “Oh my god, that was so hot, hyung, I’ve never heard you moan before,” 

“ _ Pretty Jongin, fingering yourself so needily, hyung wants to split your ass and spear you on his cock,”  _ Jongin moans, adding another finger. Kyungsoo’s speaking is too slurred and shaky for him to understand anymore, but he hears the want in his inflection, and Kyungsoo’s husky tone makes him shiver as much as the prostate stimulation. 

“Ah, fuck,” Kyungsoo can’t take his eyes off of Jongin. “Shit.” 

“Hyung…” Jongin whines as he adds a third and scissors himself. “I’m ready, please--” 

“Oh my god,” Kyungsoo grips the base of his cock when he feels his orgasm approaching far too quickly. “Ah… You are… the death of me. Oh my god.” 

“Hyung,” Jongin insists, hand hesitantly outstretched towards the toy, but he won’t do anything until Kyungsoo instructs him to. “Please, I need--I want--” 

“Put some lube on it, Nini, and around your hole too,” Kyungsoo’s breathing comes in heavily through the speaker. “It is only meant to tease your prostate and hold you open. Just wait after that, okay?” 

“Okay,” Jongin agrees blindly, brain filled with a hazy cloud of lust and desire that screws with his inhibitions just a little. He’s needy and hard and worked-up, letting out a little moan as he pushes the fattest part of the butt plug into himself. Then he winces and clenches around the intrusion. “Oh shit,” Jongin keens in the back of his throat. “Ah--” he shifts a little and yelps as the toy presses against his prostate. “What am I--” 

“Pick a song,” Kyungsoo murmurs, hiding a little laugh in his voice. 

“What?” 

“Choose wisely.” 

“Hyung, what is happening?” Jongin’s utterly lost. 

“Just pick a song,” Kyungsoo urges.

“Um. Is SHINee appropriate for this?” Jongin glances back at the screen and flushes at the eye contact. 

“All I will say is choose wisely.” 

“What…” 

“Excuse Me Miss?” Kyungsoo muses, and Jongin does a double take. 

“You listen to SHINee bsides?” 

“I am not oblivious. Excuse me miss…” Kyungsoo chuckles lowly and hits a button. Jongin gasps and spasms, then cries out and arches his back as the plug begins vibrating to the rhythm of the song. 

“Ah!” Jongin twitches and falls to the side, moaning in pleasure, curled up on the floor. Kyungsoo’s torn between laughing and taking care of the throbbing in his groin which has just increased tenfold, watching Jongin writhe in pleasure to the heavy RnB beat. “O-ohmygod,” Jongin moans and pushes his body back so that the plug vibrates relentlessly against his prostate. “Oh-- _ hyung-- _ ” 

“Enjoying yourself?” Kyungsoo’s breathing is ragged again but inches the intensity up using the remote control in his hand. Jongin gasps again and lets out a low, drawn out moan. “You gonna cum from this, sweetheart?” 

“I--I need-- _ ah! _ ” Jongin’s words die in his throat as Kyungsoo turns the intensity up even more. Each even beat count sends a harder buzz against Jongin’s prostate, making him shake with sensitivity. Jongin whines, hand automatically reaching for his aching, neglected cock curled up flush against his stomach. “P-please, hyung,” he sobs. He’s so close. Kyungsoo only hums quietly to the song and turns the intensity up to its maximum. The stimulation makes him clench around the plug tightly, which in turn only intensifies the vibrations on his prostate even more. Jongin’s moans get louder and louder, and Kyungsoo says a silent prayer of thanks to whoever made Jongin’s parents leave the house. 

“Touch yourself, sweetheart, make yourself cum hard. Look at you, writhing on the floor, so hard and needy,” Kyungsoo has a hand wrapped around his own cock now and is stroking it with firm, hard movements. He cums with a gasp, then lightly milks himself as Jongin screams through his orgasm, cumming so hard his vision whites out as his body shakes through waves and waves of euphoria, the vibrator in his ass relentlessly buzzing away and stretching out his ecstasy for what seems like forever. Kyungsoo moans again, deep and heady at the sight, and Jongin’s back arches through another burst of pleasure. Slowly, carefully, Kyungsoo brings Jongin down before the pangs of oversensitivity replace his bliss, dialing down the intensity to come to a slow stop. 

“You didn’t even make it through the whole song,” Kyungsoo tells Jongin. Ah, the joys of prostate play. Jongin can’t even bring himself to reach behind and pull the plug out. He simply lies there, completely spent from the intensity of his orgasm. “It is about four minutes long.” 

“Oh my god,” Jongin utters, eyes closed and breathing slowly turning more even. “Oh my god.” 

“So? What did you think?” Kyungsoo presses, a smug smirk on his face. “Who is your favorite hyung? Which present did you like best?” 

“I like my SHINee albums the best,” Jongin says tiredly, bringing his clean hand up to brush his bangs off of his sweaty forehead. “But you are… the best… always are.” Kyungsoo chuckles. 

“Go clean up, sweetheart, and go to sleep with your little bear. I am sure you will sleep well tonight.” 

“It’s early,” Jongin begins, but Kyungsoo shushes him. 

“It is already nine pm for you. You should go to bed earlier anyways since you have been tired.” Kyungsoo shifts uncomfortably at the stickiness around his crotch. “Okay? Go clean up. I will, too. Then come say good-night to hyung.” 

“O-okay.” Jongin lets out a little whine as he pulls the plug out, making Kyungsoo’s dick twitch in interest again. Kyungsoo pushes it out of his mind as Jongin stands up shakily, keeping his shirt hitched up to prevent it from getting cum on it. Kyungsoo reaches for the tissues on his nightstand and wipes himself down, then tugs his boxers and sweatpants back up. 

“M’back.” Jongin pulls his earbuds out and slumps into bed, disregarding the complete mess of various gifts scattered all over his room. He’ll clean it up tomorrow. 

“Good boy. Do you have…?” Jongin nods, holding up the teddy bear and tucking it in next to him, then smiles at Kyungsoo. 

“I miss you.” 

“I miss you, too.” Kyungsoo blows him a kiss. “Call me anytime you want to play, okay?” Jongin nods obediently. “Okay. Then to bed with you, and to class for me.” Kyungsoo sighs quietly into the speaker. 

“Hyung?” Jongin’s voice is shaky, and Kyungsoo glances up at him, eyes closed, lips touching the top of the teddy’s head as he speaks. 

“Yes, baby?” 

“You won’t let me go. You’ll come back soon. You love me,” Jongin murmurs, half to himself and half for Kyungsoo to affirm. 

“Of course, sweetheart. I promised.” Kyungsoo’s voice is impossibly soft and gentle. “Keep texting me how you are doing, okay? You are doing so well. I am so proud.” 

“Mmkay.” Jongin yawns. 

“I will hang up now, okay? I love you so much. Good night, baby.” Kyungsoo blows one last kiss and hangs up reluctantly. Jongin stuffs his phone under his pillow and reaches out to turn his lamp off. That night, he sleeps peacefully and heavily for the first time in months. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arane and I are vibing we have so many ideas planned for this story hue hue hue ><  
> Hi~ Long update this time, but it was very fun to write (cue all the canon fangirling, Jongin's such a mood) ^_^ Hope you guys enjoyed the update! Also stay safe :)) 
> 
> Follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kidonNini) or find me on [Curious Cat](curiouscat.me/kidonie_) if you're shy >< I tweet drabbles of my fanfic's and I also have breakdowns over EXO/SHINee/NCT :) issa good time !!!!


	5. cheers to heartaches and pizza parties

“Baekkie, I thought we were here to celebrate your birthday, not watch you eat Chanyeol’s face,” Jongin protests, only half-glancing at Baekhyun locking lips with Chanyeol once again on the loveseat, but there’s no real malice in his voice. Sehun glances up at him from the other side of the couch where he sits with his back against the armrest, texting someone. Likely unconsciously, there’s a faraway look in Jongin’s eyes; he doesn’t tease Baekhyun nearly as much anymore for his antics either. Chanyeol catches Jongin’s glassy eyes and subtly dodges Baekhyun’s attempts to lean in again. 

“Kai,” he whispers in Baekhyun’s ear as a gentle reminder to tone it down, wrapping one of Baekhyun’s wandering hands around his own and pulling it out of the bottom of his shirt. Baekhyun sighs but pulls away to lean benignly against Chanyeol almost immediately. 

“Jong.” Sehun’s voice cuts through the room over the music. “Earth to Jongin.” 

“Huh?” Jongin’s head jerks up from his knees, which are drawn up to his chest. “What?” 

“Is my bookshelf that beautiful?” Baekhyun teases, and Jongin ruffles his hair up, smiling a little. 

“Sorry, I’m okay. What were we doing?” Baekhyun’s phone buzzes with a text and he pulls it out. 

“Do you guys wanna FaceTime Dae?” Baekhyun doesn’t wait for an answer before he accepts the call. 

“Happy Birthday!” Jongdae’s smiling face pops into view on Baekhyun’s screen. 

“It’s not my birthday yet.” 

“Yeah, well, it’s your party, so I thought I’d just pop in to wish you a happy one with everyone else.” Chanyeol wiggles his fingers at Jongdae as well. “Hello Yeollie, how are you holding up?” 

“I’m doing good, Dae. Heading up to New York tomorrow night. What about you?” Jongdae shrugs. 

“Busy. Good.” 

“Ask him how Seojun is,” Sehun says from the couch, not looking up from his phone. 

“Who’s Seojun?” Jongin inquires. 

“His girlfriend,” Sehun says at the same time Jongdae murmurs “My girlfriend.” 

“Wow. We had to get your girl’s name from Sehunnie. You’re really drifting away, Dae,” Baekhyun complains, leaning against Chanyeol’s shoulder. “So? How are you? Is the sex good? Is she cute? Did you guys fight yet? Is--” 

“We’re fine,” comes Jongdae’s simple answer. 

“Where is she?” 

“Not here right now,” Jongdae smiles. 

“You can’t just go your entire life without introducing us to her,” Baekhyun protests and sees Jongin nod fervently in his peripheral. “See, even Kai thinks so as well.” Baekhyun flips the phone towards Sehun and Jongin. Sehun offers a quick wave and Jongin blows a small kiss. 

“I miss you, Jongdae-hyung!” Jongin calls. 

“I miss you all, too,” Jongdae replies. “Anyways. Happy birthday, Baekhyunnie. Just thought I would catch up really quickly.” 

“When are you going to introduce us to Seojun?” Baekhyun pesters Jongdae, who only smiles and twiddles his fingers. 

“One day,” Jongdae promises vaguely. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“When I come back to visit, or if you come and visit me, okay?” Jongdae waves again. “Er--I have to go, Baekhyunnie. Happy birthday again!” 

“Bye, Dae. Thanks for calling.” Baekhyun sighs as he tosses the phone onto the coffee table. “Aish, he’s so busy these days…” 

“So busy,” Sehun agrees, finally looking up from his phone. “He said he’s up for a promotion at the office.” 

“How do you know that?” Baekhyun demands, and Sehun shrugs. 

“He texted me.” 

“Ah… so he has his favorites.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes and climbs back into Chanyeol’s lap. “That’s okay. I have my favorites as well. Tell Jongdae he’s not one of them.” 

“I’d be questioning that ring on your finger if you didn’t.” Sehun’s face holds a trace of a smile. Baekhyun is making hearts at Chanyeol again, and Jongin is holding his phone up and pulling faces to send to Kyungsoo. 

“Er… Baekhyun, I think I’ll take my leave,” Jongin murmurs as he glances down at his phone. 

“Phone sex appointment?” Baekhyun peers around at Jongin who rolls his eyes and flushes pink. “Don’t worry, I understand. Thank you for coming.” 

“It’s not about sex--” 

“Uh huh, sure, mhm,” Baekhyun slings an arm--or at least tries to--around Jongin’s shoulders as Jongin heads to the door of the apartment. “Don’t worry. Hope it goes well.” 

“It’s really not--I just have to wake up early tom--” 

“Don’t worry Kai, you’re not the only one getting some tonight.” Baekhyun winks. “Have fun!” 

“Baekhyun,” Kai protests weakly, but Baekhyun only blows him a kiss. “Happy birthday,” he manages as Baekhyun shoves him out the door. 

“Thank you, hon.” Baekhyun shuts the door and whirls around to find Chanyeol and Sehun right behind him. “Oh, we’re playing follow the leader?” 

“I’ll give you two some private time as well,” Sehun excuses himself. 

“Don’t act like you’re not going snooping around for some dick tonight as well,” Baekhyun accuses as he wraps himself around Chanyeol. 

“I’m not pretending. I’m gonna go be a good daddy.” Sehun winds a long scarf around half his face as Baekhyun pretends to gag. 

“You’re younger than me. You’re not even an adult.” 

“It wasn’t my idea, I’m just rolling with it.” Sehun’s eyes crinkle up in amusement.

“I don’t even understand why you like banging him so much.” 

“Me neither, honestly. He’s hard to turn down, though.” Sehun waves a good-bye.

“Happy birthday, Baek. Enjoy the rest of your night. Yeol, I’ll see you soon, I hope?” 

“Sure thing.” Chanyeol waves Sehun out, then turns his attention to Baekhyun who’s managed to link both arms around Chanyeol’s neck and is attempting to crawl under his shirt. Chanyeol stumbles a little as Baekhyun’s feet leave the floor. “Woah, okay. Slow down, tiger. We have all night.” A tongue flicking at his nipple makes him flinch. “Baek, honey--” Chanyeol laughs helplessly. 

“Mmm?” Baekhyun withdraws from under Chanyeol’s shirt, hair sticking up in all different directions from the static. He plants both hands firmly on Chanyeol’s broad shoulders and jumps up to wrap his legs around Chanyeol’s waist. Chanyeol’s arms cradle him securely to his chest as Baekhyun resumes their kiss with a little snicker. 

“Insatiable,” Chanyeol mumbles, but he can feel himself growing harder as Baekhyun licks into his mouth more insistently. 

“You know you love it. To the bedroom!” Baekhyun commands, now suckling on Chanyeol’s neck, and Chanyeol obeys, sitting down on the edge of the bed as Baekhyun wriggles around on his half erection. 

“Will you let me ride your cock tonight?” Baekhyun asks, sugary-sweet and an edge of teasing. Chanyeol hums and turns his neck to the side to give Baekhyun more real estate.

“Whatever you like, baby.”

Baekhyun, ever the pleasurer, keeps up a constant stream of praise throughout sex. He isn’t a performing arts major for nothing. 

“Chanyeollie, you make me so hard,” he gasps, humping himself against Chanyeol’s thigh.

“Right there, Chanyeollie, get me wet for you,” Baekhyun’s legs shake as Chanyeol fingers him open and teases his prostate expertly. 

“Yeollie, don’t you love it when I moan--” Baekhyun lets out an obscenely loud moan, “your name while riding your thick cock?” Chanyeol lets out a crazed moan of his own, gripping his hair as Baekhyun rides him with slow rolls of his ever-so-talented hips, smirking down at him while Chanyeol plays with Baekhyun’s nipples. “Do you want to see my ass?” Baekhyun asks, and before Chanyeol can nod, Baekhyun turns himself around on Chanyeol’s cock and gives him a front-row view of his own cock, perfectly nestled in between two plump cheeks that jiggle as Baekhyun bounces more quickly. 

“Baby… oh god…” Chanyeol gasps, a hand coming down to spank Baekhyun and spread his cheeks apart to watch Baekhyun’s hole stretched open around his cock before he even processes what he’s doing. It drives Chanyeol crazy, and Baekhyun knows. After eight years together, he knows just what buttons to press, what makes Chanyeol borderline maniac with want, gripping Baekhyun’s hips so tightly that he’ll leave bruises, planting his feet on the bed, and pistoning up into Baekhyun’s warmth which leaves Baekhyun a keening, moaning mess above him. 

“Fuck me hard, Chanyeollie, I want to feel you until y-you come back,” Baekhyun groans as Chanyeol picks him up effortlessly and, cupping Baekhyun’s ass in his hands, bounches him up and down against his own thrusting hips. “Yeol, you f-fuck me so well,” Baekhyun praises, running his hands over Chanyeol’s flexed biceps as he bears the weight of Baekhyun in his arms. “Fuck, that’s so hot, Channie.” Chanyeol only lets out a strained grunt, hair flopping into his eyes as he lays Baekhyun back down on the bed to properly fuck him to completion. 

“You l-like that?” Baekhyun’s hands grip the sheets tightly but he still talks around near-constant moans and whines. 

“Fuck, baby.” Chanyeol growls and Baekhyun preens again. 

“Y-you like fucking into my tight hole, don’t y-you, Yeol? Oh, y-you’re so good at this,” Baekhyun gasps as Chanyeol’s thrusts become sloppier, but he just keeps egging him on, “Your cock feels so good in m-my ass, you feel so good, give me your cock, Chanyeollie, y-you’re the best present--” Baekhyun breaks off as Chanyeol slams into his prostate so hard that Baekhyun releases his death grip on his sheets and can only moan, over and over again, in pleasure. “Oh, oh, Chanyeol, oh--” 

“Yeah?” Chanyeol stares at him through strands of sweaty brown hair. “What happened to all that dirty talk from your pretty little mouth, hmm?” 

“Yeollie, f-fuck me--” Baekhyun breaks off again as Chanyeol grinds up into his prostate filthily. 

“I must not be doing a good enough job if you can still talk a mile a minute,” Chanyeol remarks, resuming his thrusts. The sounds of skin slapping skin, the wet slide of Chanyeol’s cock in and out of Baekhyun, and suddenly, a large hand which wraps around the tip of Baekhyun’s cock and rubs against the underside get to Baekhyun, and he screams. 

“I’m cumming,” Baekhyun’s head thrashes from side to side as Chanyeol pounds into him relentlessly. “Chanyeol,” Baekhyun chokes out, scrabbling for Chanyeol’s hand as he cums. “Yeol.” 

“Fuck,” Chanyeol hisses as Baekhyun clenches around him, “Oh, fuck.” Chanyeol’s thrusts become discordant and he lets out a low, deep moan as he cums into Baekhyun’s hole. And of course, Baekhyun’s tired voice rings through the waves of pleasure coursing through Chanyeol’s body. 

“Fill me up with your cum, Chanyeollie, please.” 

“Holy fuck.” Chanyeol opens his eyes and collapses on the bed, just barely avoiding Baekhyun’s face. He pulls Baekhyun close and slumps into his back, wrapping his arms around the smaller man who’s also too spent to be much of a tease. 

“I can feel your cum dripping out of me,” Baekhyun whispers after a few minutes, and Chanyeol’s dick twitches, nestled against Baekhyun’s buttcheeks. “Will you fuck it back in?” 

Chanyeol groans, then twitches as a hand wraps around his limp cock, then a mouth, licking up all the leftover cum. “Fffuck.” 

“I want you to watch me suck your fat cock, Yeollie.”

“Insatiable.” 

\--

“Your place is really nice,” Hui chirps as Sehun pulls on a pair of clean boxers. “I thought you said you were only nineteen, how’d you manage to get a place like this?” 

“M’parents own the complex, and I live here and pay rent to them at a discount.” Sehun turns back to Hui. “Do you need a shirt?” 

“Nah, mine’s clean, thanks.” Hui reaches down to grab his shirt and his underwear. “Can I stay the night again?” 

“Sure.” Sehun makes his way back to the bed and Hui curls up next to him as usual. 

“You’re really comfortable for cuddling. And you’re a really good cuddler, too. Some people just put an arm around you and kinda die, but you like, pull me in. Has anyone ever told you that?” 

Sehun suddenly thinks back to Jongdae, curled up against him, having fallen asleep from doing homework on a random Tuesday night. When he woke up, Sehun had only glanced at him, but his heart was racing and boner throbbing. 

~

_ “You’re really comfortable, Sehunnie. Sorry I fell asleep.”  _

_ “My arm is numb, dumbass.”  _

~

Sehun sighs heavily. “Yeah, I’ve been told.” 

“By who? An ex?” Sehun stiffens again and Hui quickly backtracks. “Sorry, that’s really personal. I shouldn’t have asked. I’ll just shut up and go to sleep now, is that okay? I know I talk a lot, some people say it’s really annoying, but you don’t say anything about it and--” 

“You’re fine, kid. Go to sleep.” But Sehun lays awake for hours before finally giving in and texting Jongdae in a haze of post-midnight, early-morning thoughts. It’s awkward with Hui lying on top of one arm and Sehun peering over his head, but he makes it work. 

[Sehun]

Fuck

I miss you

Surprisingly, Jongdae texts back. 

[Dae-hyung]

Sehunnie :)

I miss you too~

You’re not drunk, are you?

[Sehun]

No

I hooked up with hui again

actually he’s right beside me rn

[Dae-hyung]

I thought you said he was strange?

[Sehun]

he is 

but the sex is great

[Dae-hyung]

I’m chuckling, Sehunnie

Whatever floats your boat, I suppose

[Sehun]

you text like an old man

[Dae-hyung]

I am old :3

[Sehun]

no ur not

[Dae-hyung] 

<3 

Oh, by the way, that wasn’t very nice earlier, exposing Seojun like that -__-

[Sehun]

sorry not sorry.

hyung whats up with all the secrecy damn

we’re ur best friends 

i’m feeling a little hurt

[Dae-hyung]

Sehunnie, I’m sorry

Seojun and I are actually doing really well

It’s not that I don’t talk about her because I’m scared or afraid or trying to hide anything from you guys, I promise. 

We’d just rather keep our relationship a little more private. I hope you can understand. She’s a quiet girl and I like her a lot. We get along well together and I’m happy. So please don’t worry :)

Sehun’s heart clenches just a bit. A girl, slowly taking his Dae-hyung away from him. He knows he has no right to be jealous, but in his muddled state of mind, he can’t help but feel a little angry, forgotten, and resigned all at once. 

[Sehun]

ok 

wahtever u say hyung

[Dae-hyung]

But you didn’t wave when I said hi to Baek earlier tonight :(

MY feelings are hurt, too ><

And Sehun falls for him all over again. 

[Sehun]

i did wave

[Dae-hyung]

I didn’t see :(

I do miss you too, Sehunnie

It’s just not the same without you. I don’t have friends as close as you and I are over here. 

[Sehun]

don’t be greasy hyung

[Dae-hyung]

It’s true!

Would you maybe come and visit over the summer? 

Jongdae wants me to visit him over the summer. Jongdae wants me to visit him over the summer. He asked me to visit. He wants a  _ visitor _ . He wants me to be his visitor. Sehun’s 2am mind is really a species of its own. 

[Sehun]

i’ll see

i might be busy

[Dae-hyung]

We can go to all the good bubble tea shops and I’ll take you to all the national parks

We can have fun together like we used to :)

Please try? 

[Sehun]

maybe hyung

that might be fun

[Dae-hyung]

It will be. 

Go to sleep, Sehunnie

It’s late for you. 

Do you want a good night kiss? 

Absolutely, Sehun wants a good night kiss. 

[Sehun]

absolutely not

gn

[Dae-hyung]

Chu~

[Sehun]

rejected

gn

Beside him, Hui snores softly and shifts in his sleep. 

\--

“And ready, 5, 6, 7, 8--” Jongin stares at himself through the mirror, doing his best to imitate his ballroom dance instructor’s fluid movements with her hips whilst keeping her upper body completely still. Ballroom, he finds, is much harder than it seems; a set of movements that seem vaguely familiar to him, but are difficult because of all the different steps and patterns that need to be memorized. Not to mention the execution is different for every dance. Jongin can’t dance the Cha-Cha like he does Salsa, apparently. “Okay, stop!” The class stops and the instructor motions to Kai. “When you step out, keep your hip still. Transfer weight. Then hip, then torso. Weight-hip-shoulders. No.  _ Weight first. _ ” Jongin nods and shakes himself out, repeating the movement a few times, but it’s still not quite right when his instructor shrugs and turns back to the mirror. Jongin sighs in frustration, brushing his hair back from his forehead. He’d press for more instructions, but he doesn’t want to hold back a group class. A girl standing in the line of dancers behind him ogles him through the mirror, and Jongin glances down at his shoes. “I’ll figure it out.” 

“Okay, then let’s start from the top again.” Jongin sighs and readjusts. “And 5, 6, 7, 8--” 

\--

“Hey--Kai, right?” A tap on his shoulder causes Jongin to turn around, shrugging his dance bag over his arm. 

“Um, yes.” It’s the girl that was looking at him earlier. He figures she’s just a fan and is ready to be asked for an autograph, but he’s taken by surprise as the girl holds out her hand for him to shake. 

“I’m Bella, it’s nice to meet you. Er--I know this is a bit forward, but would you like to join me for coffee sometime? I find you really attractive and I’d like to get to know you better.” Bella offers him a shy smile, and Jongin feels his cheeks heat up. 

“I--I actually have a boyfriend, Bella, I’m sorry.” Jongin offers a smile. “I’m flattered, nonetheless.” 

“Oh. Oh, okay.” Bella looks slightly disappointed. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t worry. You didn’t know,” Jongin bends back down to tie his trainers. “Thank you for the offer, though.” Bella nods and slowly slinks away. Jongin reaches almost unconsciously for his phone. 

[Jongin]

can you please come back already :(

i keep getting hit on 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

You’re mine. 

[Jongin]

img.5739

of course ♥

I just miss u a lot

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I miss you too

Baby

Love you. 

[Jongin]

I love you too

please come back to me

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I want to very much

…

That does not sound right. 

What is it?

[Jongin]

“I really want to”

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Yes 

That is correct

I really want to come back

[Jongin]

TT

please hyung

i miss you more and more everyday

It’s getting difficult

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Sweetheart It is difficult for me too

I will call you tonight, okay?

I have meeting with Myeon right now Sorry

[Jongin]

Yes

It okay

Bye~ 

Jongin sighs as he trudges out of the studio, but then Sehun texts him just as he slides into the seat of his car. 

[Sehunnie]

wanna come over 

its the weekend

pizza? vid games?

[Jongin]

On a diet

[Sehunnie]

you are not

come over

[Jongin]

But I Am?? :V 

Also im super sweaty n shit from dance

[Sehunnie]

Shower at my place

Your clothes are still here btw i washed them

[Jongin]

Wtf when did I leave my clothes at your place

[Sehunnie]

no idea but they’re urs

come over imso bored and if u dont im just gonna go bang hui again

[Jongin]

why dont u do that then

and i can actually stick to my diet

[Sehunnie]

not in the mood

Also skinny is unsexy

ksoo likes men with ass

[Jongin]

…

[Sehunnie]

don’t try n tell me hes a dick man

i feel bad for him if he is

dont deprive him of ass now too

[Jongin]

…

blocked.

[Sehunnie]

come over 

\--

“My dick is at least average,” Jongin announces as way of greeting, barging into Sehun’s apartment. Sehun gave him a spare set of keys ages ago. They practically grew up together. Sehun’s home is his. 

“Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” Sehun smirks, sprawled out on his couch, not taking his eyes off of the video game. Jongin grumbles something about big dick privilege and wanders off to take a shower. 

“Where are my clothes?” 

“On my bed.” 

“Oh Sehun, why do you keep lube out in the open?” 

“Why do you NOT keep lube out in the open?” 

\--

“Do you want one?” Sehun holds a beer out to Jongin. He figures he should ask even though he’s already expecting to be turned down, but promptly straightens up from the fridge when he feels the glass bottle leave his hand. “Woah, hold up.” Sehun snatches the bottle back from Jongin’s fingers. “Didn’t Kyungsoo make you stop?” 

“He’s not here,” Jongin mumbles, holding out a hand for the bottle again. “And I really need one.” 

“Jong--” 

“Why’d you offer it to me if you’re just going to take it away?” Jongin snaps. Sehun stares at him until Jongin shifts uncomfortably. “Never mind.” 

“Hey. You do you, Jong.” Sehun holds the bottle out again and Jongin holds the neck of it between two fingers. “But let’s just… let’s game later, okay? He rummages around in the fridge for a few more bottles and makes his way back to the living room. “You know you can tell me anything,” he begins, reaching for a paper plate and a slice of pizza. Jongin copies him, although he blots his slice with a napkin to get the excess oil off before taking a bite. 

“I think you know.” Sehun nods in agreement. 

“I thought you said it was getting better.” 

“It was. But this week just.” Jongin waves a vague hand around in the air. 

“Fucking sucks?” Sehun supplies, and Jongin nods. 

“Dance is stupid,” Jongin mutters to his pizza. “I can’t keep up in my classes even though I was doing fine a week ago. And like.” Jongin sighs and leans against the cushions. “I just feel so empty.” He reaches for the beer and takes a huge gulp, wincing at the taste. “I hate beer.” 

“Me, too.” Sehun holds his bottle out. “Cheers.” 

“To what?” Jongin asks dully. 

“Feeling fucked up.”

Jongin eyes him. “What’s wrong with you?” 

“Nothing. I’m always fucked. Although I’m sure that this week has been more shitty for you than for me.” Sehun reaches for another slice of pizza. Jongin takes another swig from his bottle. 

“We still talk everyday, but it’s just so hard to. To focus on him. Does that make sense?” Jongin asks emptily. It doesn’t but Sehun still nods his head. Luckily for him, Jongin isn’t done elaborating. “It’s like some days, he’s all I can think about and I hurt so much. And then other days it just doesn’t even feel like what we had was real, even if he tells me everyday that he loves me and wants to come back.” 

“Mmmm.” 

“And sometimes he’s so busy that he doesn’t even text me back until the day after.” Jongin’s tongue gets looser as he finishes the bottle and alcohol begins to cloud his system. He’s always been a lightweight, plus with almost no food in his system and having gone months without drinking… Sehun reaches out to stop Jongin from getting another bottle. 

“I think just one is enough, Jong.” 

“Let me live, okay?” Jongin pulls on the bottle more insistently and Sehun sighs, but relents. Honestly, he can’t even blame Jongin--he’s just impressed he lasted this long without breaking down completely. 

“Kyungsoo will kill me if he ever finds out. Eat some more, Jong.” Sehun dumps another slice on his plate. “C’mon, you’re starving yourself these days.” Jongin doesn’t argue, only sighs and slumps down into the couch. 

“I miss him, Sehunnie. I miss him so much today.” Jongin fumbles with his bracelet. “I’m so tired of getting hit on and turning people down. I just want to hold his hand.” 

“I know. I’m sorry, Jong.” 

“I don’t want anybody but him,” Jongin insists, and Sehun nods. Just then, Jongin’s phone rings and he fishes it out, but Sehun is quicker and snatches it away from him right out of his hand. 

“SEHUN! WHAT THE FUCK?” Jongin’s angrier than Sehun’s ever seen him to be, but he still holds his own, standing up from the couch and backing away from Jongin as the phone continues to ring in his hand. “Give it back,” Jongin snarls. “Fuck you.” 

“No. You want him to know you’ve been drinking? Look at you, you’re a fucking mess. He’s going to worry himself to death over you.” 

“Mind your own business.” 

“You’re crumbling under stress and exhaustion and heartache. I  _ am  _ minding my business. Jong, don’t make him worry, okay?” The phone finally stops ringing and Sehun relaxes. “Be good for him, Jong. He loves you.” Jongin’s eyes slowly fill with tears and he simply stands in the middle of Sehun’s apartment, looking lost and confused and so very small. “Come on, Jongin.” Sehun pulls him by the wrist to sit on the couch again, this time curled up on Sehun’s shoulder. “C’mon, cry it out, you’ll feel better in the morning. That’s it. Let that shit go, it’s nasty.” Jongin’s small sniffles slowly turn into full-out sobs. Long, shuddering wails that wrack his entire body and soak into Sehun’s sweatshirt. Jongin cries out all the tears that he’s been holding in since Kyungsoo walked away from him at the airport two months ago, all the nights that he’s spent restlessly tossing and turning, all the late-night hours of borderline maniac studying and repression. It all comes pouring out and Sehun just sits there, holding him tightly, quietly patting Jongin’s back as the elder clings to him and cries miserably. 

“I m-m-miss h-him--” 

“I know. I know,” Sehun strokes his hair softly. “I know you miss him.” 

“S-s-so m-uch,” Jongin splutters. Sehun reaches to grab a napkin and press it into Jongin’s hand. He blows his nose noisily, then tosses the tissue somewhere onto the floor. 

“I j-just w-w-want h-him back.” 

“I know, Jong.”

Even when all the tears have been squeezed out of him, Jongin still buries his face in Sehun’s shirt with dry sobs and hiccups. After what seems like hours of crying, Jongin finally reemerges from Sehun’s tear-soaked hoodie with red, puffy eyes and a headache that has nothing to do with the alcohol. 

“Feel better?” Jongin just nods mutely, all cried out. “Do you want to go to bed now?” Another nod. “Let’s go, Jong.” Sehun makes sure Jongin drinks two glasses of water before tucking him in one side of his bed. The elder has already closed his eyes and is drifting off, exhausted from crying and sleepy from drinking. Sehun makes his way back into the living room where he slowly and methodically cleans up their mess, tucking the remaining beer back into his fridge and throwing used tissues and napkins away. When he checks Jongin’s phone, Kyungsoo’s left him a voicemail and 5 text messages. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Baby you okay? 

I love you. I hope you are safe… 

Nini… 

Are you mad? Don’t be.

Where are you?

Sehun sighs and bites his lip in frustration. On one hand, he really just told Jongin to not make Kyungsoo worry about him. On the other, he knows it’s not fair to hide Jongin’s mental state from Kyungsoo, especially since the elder is clearly suspecting something anyways. Sehun figures a little white lie won’t do any harm. Kyungsoo picks up from the first ring of Sehun’s phone. 

“Is he with you?” Sehun winces at the accent. He hasn’t heard it that strongly from Kyungsoo in a while. 

“Yes. Sorry, we got carried away. He’s sleeping now and I’m about to crash as well.” 

“At your place? Was he drinking?” Sehun hesitates for a fraction of a second too long. 

“No.” 

“He was.” Kyungsoo’s tone is sure. Fuck, he knows everything. “Sehun, please do not lie to me. I trust you.” 

“I’m sorry. He only drank one bottle of beer.” 

“But he is safe?” Kyungsoo presses, and Sehun hums. 

“Yes. He is safe and asleep. I’ll tell him to call you tomorrow morning--night--is that okay?” 

“Why did he drink?” 

“He’s stressed. Mentally and physically.” Sehun’s telling him way more than he intended to. If only Kyungsoo wasn’t so shrewd.

“Emotional?” 

“Well… yeah, I guess he’s pretty stressed emotionally, too. But aren’t you as well?” 

“This not about me. It is my fault he hurts.” Kyungsoo brushes the topic aside impatiently. “Did he cry?” 

“Of course.” 

“Does he feel better?” Jesus, it’s like being drilled by a military sergeant. Sehun’s honestly intimidated even though Kyungsoo’s a whole ocean away. 

“Yes. Definitely. He cried it all out. He’ll sleep like a fucking baby tonight.” 

Kyungsoo inhales through his nose and exhales hard. “Okay. Sehun--” 

“Hmm?” 

“We did not have this conversation.” Kyungsoo’s tone brokers no arguments. “I knew this was going to happen, I could see it when I talk to him. I am glad he was with you. As long as he is safe and feel better, I do not care. I know crying helps him. I just want to know what he is up to, what he is doing, how is he.” 

“Yeah, okay. Yeah, frankly, I’m not too keen on explaining this conversation either. So don’t worry, Soo-hyung. He feels a lot better now, too. I promise.” 

“Good. I am sorry to bother you.” 

“No, not at all, you’re good,” Sehun reassures him. “Don’t worry, it’s not really my first rodeo. Jongin’s doing a lot better than Baekhyun.” At this, Kyungsoo lets out a small, tired laugh. 

“You are just everybody’s comfort, right?” 

“Yeah. I don’t mind.” 

“Take care of yourself, too. I owe you one when I get back.” 

“No, no, hyung, you don’t. Jongin’s my best friend and we’ve always had each other’s backs.” Sehun heaves a sigh and flops down onto his couch. “It’s okay, seriously. We’ve been through hell and back with each other.” 

“Yes. Okay, then. Thank you regardless.” Kyungsoo’s voice sounds strained as well. “I will let you go to sleep now, then.” 

“Soo-hyung,” Sehun blurts. “It’s not your fault.” 

“It is.” Kyungsoo’s voice is suddenly exhausted. “I should not have led him on.” 

Sehun sits up in alarm. “What do you mean ‘led him on?’ You love him, don’t you? Jongin said you’d invited him to move in…” 

“Yes. I love him so much. Too much.” 

“Oh.” Sehun sits back against the cushions again. “Then you’re not leading him on, hyung, I think that’s the wrong choice of words.”

“I just mean I cannot give him what he ask for. And he deserve more than me, he should not have to wait like this for me.” Kyungsoo is full of self-loathing. 

“But he wants to wait for you. He doesn’t care how much he deserves, he only cares about how much he wants. And he just wants you.” Sehun soothes Kyungsoo the way he had just soothed Jongin, but with words instead of actions. “Soo-hyung, he is very lucky to have somebody who is so desperate to return to him like you are. It isn’t something that everybody gets to have--somebody to wait for, and somebody to come back to.” Sehun swallows hard. “Some of us have to learn how to let go.” 

“Sehun, you are very wise for 19.” 

“Hyung, I am not, I’m just tipsy. I have the intelligence of a goldfish.” 

“Well. You still help a lot, actually. That is a good way to put things.” Kyungsoo goes silent for a moment. “But I am not here when he need me...when he needs me… ” 

“You make yourself available as much as you can, and he understands that. That, in itself, is enough. Life isn’t a fairytale, you don’t need to be his prince in shining armor. You just gotta make do with what you can do.” Wow. Sehun’s starting to think he should switch to a philosophy major. 

“Huh. Interesting. Okay, I just want--wanted to hear your op-opinion. Anyways, you go to bed now. I have to go to class. Tell Nini to call me when he awake, okay? I wait for him to call.” 

“Sure, hyung. I’ll hang up now.” 

“Yes. Thank you again. Good-night.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ Poor Jongin, honestly (but also, sameeeee). Uh, this chapter did not go the way I planned it to, but I also kinda like how it turned out? Let me know what you think. Arane and I love seeing all your comments as always <3 and I hope everybody is staying safe and healthy!  
> -  
> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kidonNini) or [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/kidonie_) if you're shy!


	6. cute ctue cuet jongin

“Good morning, sunshine.” Sehun’s blurry face comes into view as Jongin opens his eyes blearily. 

“Eurgh.” 

“You have like five eyelids.” Sehun sets a glass of water down on the nightstand and yanks the covers off of Jongin unceremoniously. “Did you know you hog the blankets? Also I woke up because you squeezed the death out of me.” Jongin winces. 

“Sorry.” 

“This is why I don’t invite you to sleep over anymore.” 

“Well, you could’ve just left me on the couch,” Jongin grumbles, although he’s grateful for Sehun’s care. “Where’s my phone?” 

“Right here.” Sehun hands it to him. “Kyungsoo texted you multiple times.” 

“Oh.” Jongin glances down at the messages. “I should give him a call…” 

“I can make breakfast, if you want.” Sehun takes the hint, shutting the bedroom door when he leaves. Jongin sighs as he brings the phone up to his ear. Kyungsoo answers on the second ring. 

“Nini.” His voice is impossibly soft, as if approaching a wounded animal. “Where have you been?” 

“Sehun’s.” Jongin swallows around the disgusting taste in his mouth and reaches for the glass of water on the nightstand. “I saw your texts. I wasn’t mad.” 

“I was so worried.” 

“Sorry, hyung. I didn’t mean to ignore you. It was just…” Jongin breaks off, unsure of how much of his sorrow he wants to relay to Kyungsoo. 

“Just?” 

“I was not in the best state of mind.” Jongin says quietly, tugging at the hem of his shirt. “But I’m better now, so you don’t need to worry.” 

“I will worry no matter what.” Kyungsoo heaves a long sigh through the speaker. “Nini, I am sorry.” 

“Sorry for what?”

“Because you are hurting and I cannot help you. I miss you, too.” Jongin sighs and leans back against the pillows. 

“It’s not your fault.” 

“It is. I--” 

“Hyung, please don’t apologize, I will cry.” Jongin blinks rapidly. “I-I’m doing my best over here, and I know that you always do your best. I miss you more than anything, but it’s not your fault.” Kyungsoo is silent for a moment. Then,

“Nini… do you ever think about maybe… other people?” 

“What?” 

“Someone who treat you better than I can--” 

“NO!” Jongin sits straight up in bed. “Never, hyung, nuh uh. Only you, always you. I miss you all the time. Please--” Jongin’s throat is thick with emotions. “Don’t say that again.” 

Kyungsoo lets out a hollow laugh. “I do not understand.” 

“Why? What don’t you understand?” 

“Why me.” 

“You _promised,_ hyung,” Jongin accuses weakly. “You said you will come back, and that you love me, and that you won’t ever let me go.” 

“Yes. I promise. But it is hard--I cause you more pain than happiness--what if you do not want my promise?” 

“I do want you, hyung, this is so stupid.” Jongin tilts his head up so that tears of panic won’t make their way down his face. “Stop saying things like this, you’re scaring me. Do you not want--” 

“That is not what I mean, Nini,” Kyungsoo cuts him off immediately, desperately trying to articulate his intention with words that seem foreign in his mouth now. “I am sorry to scare you, I am not--I will not--just do not think about it that way, okay?” 

“You make it sound like you’re trying to break up,” Jongin blurts out. There’s only silence on the other line. “Hyung,” Jongin whispers, suddenly terrified of Kyungsoo’s next words.

“I said do not think about it that way.” Kyungsoo’s voice is ragged. “I am only try to make sure you are… happy. Whether that be with me or--or someone else.” Jongin shakes his head furiously and the tears spill over onto his cheeks before Jongin realizes that Kyungsoo can’t see him. 

“No. Hyung, if you leave me--” Jongin breaks down into a panic-stricken sob. “Don’t, just don’t, please.” 

“Okay, okay. No crying, Jongin-ah, shhh. Shh, listen to me, okay?” Jongin wipes his tears and collects himself again. 

“I’m fine now.” 

“Yes, okay. Good. Nini, the last few months… You have not been that happy, have you?” 

Jongin hesitates. “But I--” 

“Just answer me, baby.” 

“Not really.” 

“Okay. I have not been happy either. It is hard to be happy. But I am willing to be… less happy until I can come see you. Do you feel that way as well?” 

“Yes,” Jongin answers immediately. 

“Okay,” Kyungsoo sighs. “That is all I want to hear. I just want make sure we are on… uh… same opinion. You know.”

“I love you,” Jongin whispers. 

“I love you, too, you should know. Do not worry then, okay?” 

“What was all of that for, then?” Jongin demands. “I just experienced 6 different emotions in three minutes, hyung.” 

“I do not want you to pretend you are okay so I do not worry. We need to be… uh, true?”

“Honest?”

“Honest, yes.” Kyungsoo heaves his third sigh in five minutes and chuckles lightly. “We need to be honest with each other to make this work. Nini, do not hide things from me, okay? I will always find out. I just want to make sure you are safe and healthy and happy.” 

Jongin swallows nervously. “Okay.” 

“Anything you want to tell me about last night?” 

“Uhm…” Jongin’s very unnerved. “I…” 

“You cried, I am sure.” 

“How did you know?” Jongin groans. 

“You sound like. Ah, what is it. You know. Stuffy.” 

“Ah…” Jongin facepalms himself. “Yes, fine. I cried. A lot.” 

“That is okay, Nini. Are you feel better?” 

“Yeah, I actually feel a lot better today. Until you decided to jumpscare me with the--” 

“I am just check in with you, baby. I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo chuckles lightly. “Is there anything else?” It’s not really a question, Jongin realizes. Kyungsoo _knows,_ the cocksure confidence coming back once he’s heard Jongin’s reassurance that he’s still obsessed with Kyungsoo. 

“I drank.” Jongin’s voice is barely above a whisper. “I am so, so sorry.” 

“I guess my punishment last time wasn’t enough to make you remember.” Jongin flushes pink. 

“I-I’m still at Sehun’s.” 

“Hyung will be waiting for you at home.” The line goes dead and Jongin goes hard. 

-A few days later-

[Byun Baek]

club tonight

[Jong]

it’s tuesday ???

[Byun Baek]

did i fucking stutter

jongin pick me up at 9 and then we go get sehun 

[Jong]

I did not agree 

:V

[Byun Baek]

minor detail

[Sehun]

Ok

[Jong]

OI

:VVVVVVVV

[Sehun]

well you dont drink so it makes sense that u drive

?

[Jong]

Thats not the problem?!

[Byun Baek]

youre right

theres no problem

cya babes

[Loey]

hf guys

[Byun Baek]

BABE

[Loey]

Hi

Hf

[Byun Baek]

not without u here ;-;

[Loey]

Inherently false

You always have a fun time

[Byun Baek]

but I would have more fun with you babe

;) 

[Jong]

dis

gus

ting 

[Sehun]

^^^

[Byun Baek]

gtg class

9pm tonight!!!!

[Sehun]

Yes 

[Jong]

NO

\--

Sehun’s phone rings and he answers without glancing at the caller ID, figuring it’s just Jongin complaining about having to cut off dance practice for Baekhyun’s plans or something. So he’s surprised when he realizes it’s a FaceTime call, and even more baffled when it comes from _Jongdae._

“What the fuck,” Sehun raises his eyebrows in disbelief at Jongdae. “Is this about?” 

“Nice to see you, too!” Jongdae chirps, as happy as always. “You look as handsome as ever, Sehunnie.” Sehun pulls a face at Jongdae, whose laugh rings like bells through Sehun’s speakers. Oh, how he had missed that laugh. 

“Naw, seriously. Why did you call?” 

“I saw your plans in the group chat and just figured I’d tell you to have fun. I’m not really busy at the moment.” Jongdae shifts slightly and Sehun coughs violently when he catches a glimpse of Jongdae’s bare chest. _Holy shit,_ Sehun thinks, trying and failing miserably to stop staring at Jongdae’s biceps and pecs. When did he start working out?

“You could’ve just _texted_ us like Yeol.” 

“Well, yes, but then I wouldn’t have been able to see you. I’ve been meaning to call for a while, okay? I feel bad.” 

“No, you don’t.” 

“No, I don’t,” Jongdae agrees, and Sehun bursts into easy laughter with him. “I’m feeling lonely.” 

“What about Seojun?” Sehun’s tone is harsher than he wants it to be, but luckily, Jongdae doesn’t catch on. 

“She’s busy right now. Also, sometimes a guy just needs some bro time, yaknow?” 

“No, not really. Hyung, in case you’ve forgotten, I’m _gay._ Bro time means bang time.” 

“Ah, well, not in this case.” _Unfortunately,_ Sehun thinks, head still full of Jongdae’s chest pressed flush against him. His dick is already beginning to inflate a little as well. 

“I see you still wander around your house shirtless.” 

“Yeah. I’ve been working out, as well.” Jongdae shifts again and _are those abs, fuck this,_ Sehun’s so gone already. Jongdae _cannot_ be this clueless. 

“Not everybody thinks like a straight man,” Sehun mutters under his breath. 

“What?” 

“Put a shirt on, oh my god.” Sehun’s committing his own cockblock in order to save their friendship. 

“Why? It’s just me, Sehunnie.” Jongdae rolls his eyes. “I’ll take that as a compliment, though.” 

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“I know what you meant.” A shadow of a smirk lingers on the corner of Jongdae’s mouth. “By the way, how is your… uh… slutty college phase going?” 

“I’ll probably pick someone up at the club tonight.” Sehun shrugs. 

“Oh? What about Hui?” 

“He’s cool. We’ve fucked like four times.” 

“But you haven’t caught feelings for him yet?” Jongdae’s face is incredulous. “And what about him? Isn’t he attached to you?” Sehun barks out a laugh. 

“That’s just how hookup culture works, hyung. Fucking without feelings.” Sehun considers this for a moment. “But I like Hui. He grew on me.” 

“Which kind of like?” Jongdae presses. 

“I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. I’m not looking for anything serious.” 

“You could still date casually,” Jongdae offers. 

“Maybe, hyung. Maybe.” 

“You’ve given me too many maybes. I asked you to visit me, and that was a maybe as well. I was being serious!” Jongdae pouts when Sehun rolls his eyes. Fuck, that was cute. Jongdae’s literally the cutest human alive. 

“Er--uhm--I really have to see, hyung.” Sehun scratches his head. 

“Are you doing an internship over the summer or anything?” Sehun shakes his head no. “Then come visit!” 

“That’s a lot of money, Dae. I can’t just fly my ass out to California.” 

“Even for your favorite hyung?” That pout again. Sehun’s heart is doing somersaults of joy and he cracks a small, helpless smile. 

“Maybe.” 

“Aww. Okay, well, let me know Sehunnie.” Sehun’s phone vibrates with a text. 

[Byun Baek]

get in loser, we’re going clubbing

;)

Sehun glances at Jongdae reluctantly. “Baek’s here, I need to go.” 

“Oh! Okay.” Jongdae wiggles his fingers at Sehun. “Wait! Let me see what you’re wearing.” 

“What? Why?” Sehun huffs out a laugh even as he stands up and wanders over to the full length mirror in his room, flipping the phone to show off a tight black t-shirt and leather jacket with ripped jeans and black Vans. Jongdae wolf-whistles. 

“You look hot. I see you’ve been working out as well.” 

“I’ve worked out since high school, dumbass.” 

“Yes, but your body is starting to bulk up. You really glo’ed up well, Sehunnie.” Jongdae’s praise, combined with the nice view on his side, almost makes Sehun blush. _Almost._ Sehun pulls himself together and waves at Jongdae through the mirror. 

“I’ll be on my way now, hyung.” 

“Okay, Sehunnie. Have fun. Wait--” 

“Hyung, don’t--” 

“Mwah.” Jongdae blows a kiss and Sehun makes a face at him, holding his left hand out to block the proverbial smooch. He mimes throwing it back at Jongdae.

“Bye, Dae.” 

“Accept the kiss!” 

“No. Good-bye.” Jongdae’s pout is the last thing he sees before he ends the call. For good measure, Sehun slips his left fist into his pocket and gently uncurls it. Maybe he will save that kiss, after all. 

\--

“I did not agree to this,” Jongin grumbles even as he parallel parks. Sehun glances behind to make sure Jongin doesn’t hit the car behind them. 

“Stop, Jong.” 

“But you still picked me up, right on time,” Baekhyun coos, reaching over to pat Jongin’s head. “You love us.” 

“Not really,” Jongin mumbles as he gets out of the car. Sehun does a double take when he sees Jongin’s outfit, and from his peripheral, Baekhyun’s jaw drops as well. 

“KIM KAI!” Baekhyun shrieks. 

“What?” 

“Yes, SIR!” Baekhyun ogles Jongin shamelessly. “Oh my god, my baby’s growing up so well. Holy fuck, you’re _hot._ That is a _sexy_ outfit on a _sexy_ man. Who got you this?” Jongin glances down at the brown crop top, the high-waisted black skinny jeans, and tugs nervously on the bottom hem of his shirt. 

“Ksoo… I thought it looked good, and I really like it,” Jongin shifts his weight completely to one hip, and suddenly Sehun feels incredibly underdressed. 

“Kyungsoo has TASTE,” Baekhyun nods, impressed. 

“I chose it,” Jongin says flatly. His boyfriend might be talented at multiple things, but Jongin refuses to claim that Kyungsoo has anything close to rivaling his own fashion sense. 

“Then he’s LUCKY. Holy fuck,” Baekhyun eyes Jongin again as they walk in. “And you wonder why you get hit on so much. I’ll be your personal photographer tonight.” 

“A bodyguard would be nicer,” Jongin grouches, but he still poses for candids, knowing how much Kyungsoo will like the pictures. As the night goes on, they all huddle into their usual corner booth. Jongin stares up at the camera from under smoky eyelids and long eyelashes, a soft, demure smirk on his lips, holding a glass of diet Coke carelessly. 

“I have _never_ seen someone look so classy while holding diet Coke,” Baekhyun mutters. “God really had his favorites.” Jongin only turns pink and nods in satisfaction when he glances at the picture before sending it immediately to Kyungsoo.

[Jongin]

img.6324

familiar shirt ?

diet coke btw

imy <3

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I am fucking speechless. 

Wow. 

Lee Taemin could never.

[Jongin]

do NOT compare me to lee taemin

it lowers my self esteem

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I do not see what is so amazing about him when you look like this. 

Baby… I am so lucky. 

I do not even know what to say

Wow

“Jong, stop texting. Relax a little.” Sehun scans the dark, crowded club, lit up only by the colorful LED lights scattering patterns all over the dance floor. Baekhyun slams back another shot. Jongin sighs, but tucks his phone away after bidding Kyungsoo good-bye.

“Kai, you sure you don’t want a drink?” Jongin blushes bright red and shakes his head, returning to nursing his Coke. Baekhyun eyes him with a teasing smile, but lets the subject go.

“Hunnie?” Sehun shakes his head. He’s horny and feral enough just thinking about Jongdae’s chest still. _A simp,_ Sehun scolds himself. _You are a simp._ But he still stands up from the seat. 

“Jong, let’s go dance. I need to get fucked.” 

“Sure,” Jongin agrees easily. Baekhyun slides out after them, but is first on the floor, immediately getting lost in the mass of warm bodies pressed against each other. Jongin moves easily next to Sehun, laughing and bouncing along to the heavy beat. Eventually, though, some tall, handsome stranger sidles up from behind Sehun and wraps an arm around his waist. Sehun turns back to glance at him and offer his sexy smolder. 

“Hey, handsome,” the stranger whispers. 

“No, you.” Sehun gets dragged away and Jongin waves him off with a small smile on his face, feeling his heart sink a bit at the prospect of being left alone. He glances around for Baekhyun, but the elder is nowhere to be seen. He’s about to retreat back to the corner when he feels hands touch his waist, centimeters away from his bare skin. Jongin jerks and turns around to find himself face-to-face with a drunk stranger. 

“Dance with me,” He drawls, not giving Jongin any room to refuse. Jongin flinches at the smell of alcohol on his breath. 

“I-I actually have a boyf--” 

“Doesn’t matter,” the man whispers, and one of his hands creeps up to brush Jongin’s bare skin. Jongin makes to break away, but he’s pulled flush to the man’s chest and he can feel an erection pressing against the back of his jeans. Jongin’s overwhelmed with an intense feeling of disgust and panic. 

“Don’t, I said--” 

“What the fuck are you doing with my boyfriend?” A body barrels between Jongin and the man, causing them to break apart. Stunned, Jongin whirls around but is promptly drawn in by Baekhyun’s possessive but soft, reassuring hand around his waist. 

“He’s mine. Go find someone else.” Baekhyun’s dominating aura rolls off of him in waves, despite being a head shorter than Jongin. 

“The slut shouldn’t have wandered off on his own, then,” the man snarls, and Baekhyun’s hand tightens around Jongin’s waist. 

“Watch who you’re calling a slut.” Baekhyun glances up at Jongin whose relief must show in his eyes. “Fucking _leave,_ ” Baekhyun balls his other hand up into a fist. “He told you he’s taken.” Then Baekhyun shifts before Jongin does, pressing himself flush against Jongin’s hips and swaying in time with the beat. Jongin feels a small smile form on his face as he wraps an arm around Baekhyun’s neck loosely and pulls him closer, beginning to move as well. 

“Baby, let’s give him a show,” Baekhyun murmurs with a hint of sarcasm behind his voice, loud enough to be heard over the music. Jongin lets out a happy laugh, a real one as Baekhyun presses back into him. 

“Of course, _honey_.” Jongin whirls Baekhyun around and they’re both suppressing giggles when they wrap hands around waists and grind up into each other. Jongin doesn’t even know what’s happening, but suddenly the crowd surges up around them and the duo find themself in the center of a bouncing, screaming dance circle. 

“EZZGEDDIT!” Baekhyun yells. The beat drops and Jongin is screaming, too, one arm still wrapped around Baekhyun’s waist, rolling up to meet Baek’s hips playfully. It’s silly, it’s ridiculous, it’s absurd, and Jongin runs with it, stifling laughter alongside Baekhyun while they grab at each other obnoxiously. A rush of adrenaline courses through Jongin as he gets caught up in the energy of the club--dancing carelessly, the crowd screaming around them, the hilarity of Baekhyun’s stunt. He rides that high for the rest of the night, giggling whenever he throws an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders and when Baekhyun smooches the air in between their lips. When Baekhyun pulls him so close that their foreheads touch, Jongin can only meet Baekhyun’s eyes seriously for a fraction for a second before both of them are collapsing into hysterics again. And yet, there’s something strangely comforting in Baekhyun’s platonic fingers intertwined with his, or his gentle, familiar hand on Jongin’s waist. Baekhyun seems to feel the same, because when Jongin squeezes his hand lightly to ask the unspoken question, he briefly grazes his left ring finger against Jongin’s golden bracelet. 

_Yeah. I miss_ **_him_ ** _, too._

For the first time in months, Jongin lets himself go, feeling the stress and worry leave his aching chest. As the night winds down and Baekhyun slumps against his shoulder back in their dark corner, drunk and still chuckling to himself, Jongin texts a shaky, dark video of himself pulling Baekhyun to his chest with a crazy, blissful laugh and both of them jumping along with the rest of the crowd to Kyungsoo. 

“I LOVE YOU,” Jongin screeches in the video above the pounding music and screams of people. “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, HYUNG.” 

\--

In a stranger’s apartment, Sehun growls when he’s slammed up against a wall and meets his hookup’s greedy, messy kiss. Hands are already scrabbling at clothing and Sehun is caught up in the intensity of the moment, unbuttoning a silk shirt to meet a firm, hard body that’s hot to the touch with desire. The kiss tastes like vodka and sweat and it grounds Sehun to reality; his mind stops flickering between Jongdae and this man when his shirt makes it over his head and a hot, wet mouth is on his. Sehun moans as his hands get pushed over his head and the stranger dominates him, shoving a tongue into his mouth and exploring greedily. Sehun submits willingly but with an edge, kissing back just as hard, wrenching his wrists out of the man’s grip and palming the massive bulge in his pants. 

“Like you mean it,” Sehun growls in the man’s ear. “I don’t bottom for just anyone.” Instead of an answer, he’s cradled in strong arms and slammed against the door so hard he hits his head. “That’s more like it,” Sehun snarls when he is let down in order for fumbling fingers to reach for his belt buckle and slide his jeans off. Sehun reciprocates deftly and the next moment, he’s moaning at the feeling of being penetrated while strong arms wrap around him, of being fucked hard and fast against the door, legs desperately wrapped around the man’s waist and fingernails clawing down his back. 

“Yeah, handsome, no need to be so cocky,” The man murmurs, biceps flexing, easily carrying Sehun’s weight. “I can handle you just fine.” 

“Fuck,” Sehun wheezes as he cums, and after a few more hard thrusts, the stranger does as well with a grunt. Sehun grabs his hookup for yet another kiss, tongues furiously battling with each other for dominance, but this time, Sehun wins. Hands grope at his bare ass, still slippery with lube, and Sehun grinds up against the man’s erection which hasn’t flagged even after climaxing. 

“You wanna top now?” The man’s voice is husky and ragged as he tries to catch his breath. Sehun immediately bends him over the closest table he can find in the dark room. 

“Lemme show you how it’s really done,” Sehun’s purr is quiet and seductive, tugging at his own cock. Sehun grabs a fistful of hair and pulls as he takes the man from behind. The hot stranger moans, deep and throaty, before fucking back into Sehun’s with every thrust forward. 

“Yesyesyesyesyes--” The man gasps as Sehun reaches around to bring him to his second orgasm before Sehun can reach it himself. 

“Cumming,” Sehun grunts and spills into the man. “Oh fuck, we forgot a condom. Are you clean?” 

“Yeah, I got tested last month.” The man shivers as Sehun pulls out. “You?” 

“Yes, a few weeks ago.” Sehun finds himself being pulled into a messy, sticky makeout session just to keep the heat simmering in his stomach until his dick can catch up. It’s a pretty good night, Sehun thinks lazily as the man sucks on his tongue while pulling him into the actual bedroom. He hopes Jongin and Baekhyun are having just as much fun as he is. 

\--

[Chanyeol]

Bruh we got replaced last night

Did jongin send u the vid

Kyungsoo chuckles before replying.

[Kyungsoo]

Yes, I saw it

Looks like they are having fun

[Chanyeol]

Fuck this

Im not going down to visit him anymore if jongin keeps him that entertained

[Kyungsoo]

I don’t think I have to return to US anytime soon

[Chanyeol]

Looks like it

XD

Hey as long as they’re happy, right?

[Kyungsoo]

Yeah. 

I am glad they have each other.

[Chanyeol]

For sure

“ _Who are you smiling at?_ ” Kyungsoo glances up at his mother, who stares at him suspiciously. He’d decided to pay a visit back home after spending too much time cooped up on campus.

“ _Just a friend, mom._ ” 

“ _Your friend? Not… boyfriend?”_ Kyungsoo’s mother sounds like she has trouble just saying the word. Kyungsoo sighs quietly. 

“ _No, he’s asleep right now._ ” 

“ _Oh. How is he? You two are still together?”_ Kyungsoo nods quietly. He’s learned that if he stays relatively quiet and answers as simply as possible, his mother doesn’t overthink as much, and they usually come to a nice compromise. 

“ _He’s good, mom. We’re fine._ ” 

“ _I still don’t understand why you can’t just find a nice girlfriend. Even if she’s in America, I don’t care. Why a boyfriend… he’s taller than you, too…”_

_“It doesn’t work that way, mom. We’ve been over this.”_

_“He almost looks like a girl, like one of those idols that you see on television. Men should look like men. At least you have a nice hairstyle, keep yourself neat and simple…”_ Kyungsoo just nods quietly in agreement, cupping his face with the palm of his hand. Yep, that’s Nini. Pretty and handsome and _hot_ all at once. Kyungsoo’s lips twitch with just the thought of last night’s picture that Jongin had texted him. 

“ _If you like him, then can’t you like a girl?”_

 _“Mom, if you like someone that looks like a bird, that doesn’t mean you like birds.”_ Kyungsoo chuckles to indicate his lightheartedness. 

“ _Aish, you’re so stubborn sometimes, you know?_ ” His mother sets down a cup of tea in front of him with a flicker of a smile. “ _It’s good that you’re tenacious, but with these things…”_ She shakes her head. “ _Has that friend of yours--ah--what’s his name?”_

“ _Chanyeol?”_

_“Who’s Chanyeol?”_

_“The friend I was just talking to.”_ Kyungsoo takes a sip of tea. 

“ _No, no, your partner for your company.”_

_“Ah, Junmyeon.”_

_“Yes. Has he found a girlfriend yet?”_ At this, Kyungsoo almost chokes on his tea and swallows the scalding liquid far too quickly. Kyungsoo debates telling his mother that Junmyeon is also, in fact, very, very gay. 

“ _No.”_ The less, the better. 

“ _You should ask him to introduce you to some nice people. You know, you’re 24, it’s not too early to start thinking about marriage, especially since you have to enlist in about four years. And I want a child--”_

 _“I can give you a child if you want, mom, but I’m telling you right now, I’m not going to marry a woman.”_ Kyungsoo sighs. “ _And also, I have lots of time to think about marriage anyways.”_

_“You’re just ridiculous. Liking men… it’s been years, isn’t it time to grow out of that phase?”_

_“It’s not a phase, mom.”_ Kyungsoo buries his laughter with a cough. “ _Do I need to make you read the articles again?”_

 _“No, no. I still don’t understand, but whatever you’re happy with, I suppose.”_ Kyungsoo’s mother reaches over to pat the top of Kyungsoo’s head. “ _I’m still proud of you no matter what.”_

_“Thank you, mom.”_

\--

“ _Cheers!”_ Kyungsoo smiles as he clinks his glass of soju with Junmyeon. “ _Happy birthday, hyung.”_

“ _Cheers.”_ Junmyeon takes a gulp, then turns his attention to the selection of songs in front of them. “ _What do you wanna sing?”_

_“You first, birthday boy.”_

_“Ah, alright… Let’s see.”_ Kyungsoo perks up when the familiar beat rings through the room. 

“ _Nice choice, hyung.”_

“ _I know, right?”_ Junmyeon grasps the mic carefully before launching into IU’s song. 

_I awake from my sleep, and so my heart is fluttering_

_Since early morning, I've been feeling dizzy, I already feel dazed_

_At this rate, what do I do if I run late? I'm distressed and in a hurry to run_

_to you, for you are waiting for me_

Kyungsoo grins and sways easily to the playful rhythm of the song, applauding as it ends. 

“ _That’s difficult to sing,”_ Kyungsoo remarks as Junmyeon makes his way back to the couch and takes up his shot glass of soju. “ _IU’s pitch is so difficult_ . _You sang it well, though_.” 

“ _It’s one of my favorites. You next. What are you picking?”_

 _“Could you record for me?”_ Kyungsoo suppresses a smile as he passes his phone to Junmyeon and stands up. “ _I want to send it to Jongin.”_

_“That’s cute. SHINee then, I presume?”_

_“Of course.”_ Kyungsoo closes his eyes as the familiar song seeps through the speakers. Suddenly, he’s taken back to the trip up to New York with Jongin. Behind his eyelids, he sees Jongin’s wide smile and scrunched up nose, his cute blush behind his hands, and Jongin’s happy, uncontrollable laughs. 

“ _Noona neomu yeppeo,”_ Kyungsoo hits the notes effortlessly, “ _I’m going crazy.”_ All he can think about is Jongin. Jongin excitedly flipping through the pages of his album and showing them to Kyungsoo. Jongin with charcoal-blue eyeshadow, holding a glass of diet Coke. Jongin fumbling with his bracelet, tracing Kyungsoo’s initials and glancing over the empty chain links. Kyungsoo’s hand closes around the two charms that he always keeps in his pocket even as he grips the microphone tightly with the other. 

_“Have you met sincere love?”_ Kyungsoo finishes the song and slowly opens his eyes. 

“ _Holy shit.”_ Junmyeon sets the phone down and claps enthusiastically. Kyungsoo joins in as well, bowing a little when he steps off the stage. “ _You felt that one, didn’t you?”_

Kyungsoo reaches for the soju bottle. “ _I always feel him with me.”_

 _“You love him a lot,”_ Junmyeon says quietly, glancing at Kyungsoo, who only tips back another shot. 

“ _He is my everything.”_ It’s cheesy, Kyungsoo knows, but it’s the only way he can express how fast his heart beats just thinking about Jongin. “ _I cannot explain it.”_

_“He’ll love the video. That’s the best I’ve ever heard you sing. I felt like crying after I heard it, and ‘Replay’ is not that sad of a song.”_

_“Ah, sorry.”_ Kyungsoo bursts into laughter. “ _It’s your birthday, you shouldn’t be crying.”_

 _“I will cry anyways. I’m 26, that’s so fucking old.”_ Junmyeon laughs at himself scathingly. “ _Still haven’t even found a boyfriend…”_

 _“You will.”_ Kyungsoo tips back another shot. “ _Don’t worry about it.”_

 _“Easy for you to say.”_ But Junmyeon smiles warmly. “ _I’m not too worried. I’m just making fun of myself.”_

_“That’s really easy to do.”_

_“Yah! You’re the worst dongsaeng ever.”_

_“Pick another song.”_

_\--_

Five bottles of soju later, Kyungsoo’s voice is starting to go awry as he stumbles over lyrics. Junmyeon only laughs hysterically, cheeks flushed with red and just about as drunk as Kyungsoo is. 

“ _What’s a birthday if you don’t get drunk?”_ Junmyeon slurs, wrapping an arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders when he stumbles back to the couch. “ _Remember for your 20th birthday? You got so drunk you called your boyfriend and then fell down the stairs.”_

 _“Don’t remind me, okay?”_ Kyungsoo laughs, leaning against Junmyeon. “ _We had fun, I suppose.”_

_“Why did you guys break up again?”_

_“Too busy to care about him.”_ It’s been a while since Kyungsoo’s thought about his ex. 

_“You still keep in touch?”_ Kyungsoo shakes his head. “ _Did you love him?”_

_“No. Why such a deep question?”_

_“Are you in love now?”_

_“My gosh, what is this, an interview? Of course I’m in love,”_ Kyungsoo’s voice is louder than he intends it to be. “ _With my Nini.”_

 _“What does it feel like?”_ Junmyeon’s voice is thoughtful even though his words trip over each other. 

“ _It’s amazing,”_ Kyungsoo coos. “ _It’s like. It’s like an addiction. I can’t stop thinking about him.”_

Junmyeon considers this for a moment before nodding slowly. _“I want to be in love.”_

_“Then hurry up and find a boy.”_

_“I’m trying. Yah, do you remember when we used to point guys out to each other at the mall after school?”_ Junmyeon laughs. “ _You always picked guys that were way out of your league.”_

 _“Nini’s out of my league, too,”_ Kyungsoo praises, running a hand through his hair. _“Nini’s so pretty and cute. He is soooooo cute, Myeon. He’s like a little teddy bear and I just want to hold him all the damn time. And his hair, it’s so soft and he likes it when I run my hands through it. He falls asleep really easily when I do it. He’s really cute when he gets nervous too, he bites his lip and he literally does this--”_ Kyungsoo brings the tips of his index fingers together and pouts in an imitation of Jongin, “ _I swear I will melt when he does it.”_

 _“Oh, to be able to hold a shy, pretty boy and run your fingers through his hair while they fall asleep in your arms. That’s the dream right there.”_ Junmyeon sighs heavily. _“You know, sometimes I wonder if I had maybe found somebody in college, I probably would’ve been married by now. I just didn’t know who I was--maybe I found myself too late, or some shit like that.”_

 _“What’s your type?”_ Kyungsoo pops a chip into his mouth. 

“ _I don’t know. I like cute. Who doesn’t like cute? A good sense of humor, I guess.”_

_“To make up for your shitty one?”_

_“Okay, my ideal type also has to appreciate my jokes. You’re just too low IQ to savor them properly.”_

_“I’m pretty sure it’s because I’m high IQ, but whatever.”_

_“Jongin likes my jokes,”_ Junmyeon argues, leaning into the armrest of the couch. 

“ _You’ve only talked to him once. Don’t make moves on him,”_ Kyungsoo finds himself getting defensive. 

_“Woah, calm down. I wasn’t saying that. You’re so fucked up right now.”_ Junmyeon sighs heavily. “ _Are the guys cute in America?”_

 _“There’s a really cute one waiting for me to come back home,”_ Kyungsoo mumbles, acutely feeling the ache in his heart come back.

“ _Introduce me to someone?”_ Junmyeon asks, and Kyungsoo almost chokes around his chip. 

“ _Did you know my mother thinks you’re straight? She told_ **_you_ ** _to introduce me to some chicks.”_ At this, Junmyeon lets out a raucous shout of laughter. 

“ _But I was being serious,”_ Junmyeon sobers up after a minute of hysterics. “ _America is much more liberal with LGBTQ rights. It’s also like a whole new opportunity, I suppose.”_

 _“Maybe.”_ Kyungsoo’s mind flicks through Jongin’s friends and inconspicuously lands on Sehun. _“Oh Sehun…”_

_“Who’s Sehun?”_

_“Er…”_ Kyungsoo flicks through his camera roll to find their group picture from Christmas. “ _Him.”_ They study the picture together--Baekhyun riding piggyback on Chanyeol, laughing and pressing a kiss to his cheek, Jongin standing behind Kyungsoo with his arms wrapped around his waist, Jongdae throwing up double peace signs at the camera and grinning widely as Sehun stands at the very end, one hand tucked into his pocket and the other one making bunny ears over Jongdae’s head. 

_“This is Baekhyun. I punched him when I first met him and he’s engaged to Chanyeol,”_ Kyungsoo murmurs. Junmyeon laughs. 

_“Why’d you punch him?”_

_“He bought my Nini a drink even though he’s underage.”_ Kyungsoo’s overprotective again. “ _He deserved it. But he’s actually not as much of a dick as he seems. And this Chanyeol--he’s smart as hell. I like him.”_

_“Who’s this?”_

_“Jongdae. He works in California and he’s straight.”_

_“What an apt description of someone.”_ Junmyeon snorts. 

“ _He kisses Sehun a lot just to get a rise out of him but Sehun doesn’t let on much.”_ Kyungsoo laughs at the memory. “ _Jongdae’s a lot of fun to be around. Very light-hearted.”_

_“Ah, and this is Jongin, of course?”_

_“Yes. My Nini.”_ Kyungsoo can almost feel Jongin’s warmth pressed against him. “ _My baby.”_

Junmyeon studies the picture for another moment. _“Sehun looks scary.”_

 _“See, I thought that as well, but he’s actually very endearing once you get to know him. He gives good relationship advice.”_ Kyungsoo laughs shortly. “ _Let me know if you’re interested, I suppose.”_

 _“Maybe. He’s not really my type.”_ Junmyeon’s mouth twists to the side. “ _If I considered visuals only, I would say maybe Baekhyun is my type.”_

 _“Yeah, good luck with that one, Baek’s pretty much obsessed with Chanyeol. They’re long-distance, too, actually. A good group.”_ Kyungsoo tucks his phone back into his pocket. “ _I’ll introduce you.”_

 _“Sounds fun.”_ Junmyeon leans back again. “ _I don’t know. Maybe I’m too much of a dreamer? I just want someone to laugh and spend time with. Do you remember my ex?”_

_“The asshole who said you were high maintenance?”_

_“It’s not like I don’t want to take care of someone.”_ Junmyeon’s voice trembles a little bit. _“I would give, if there was somebody to give to.”_ Junmyeon sighs heavily and Kyungsoo eyes him with suspicion. 

_“Are you thinking of someone while saying this?”_

_“No. I wish. Too much work to do, not enough time to focus on finding a relationship. Although not nearly as busy as university.”_

_“You were juggling a lot in uni, I seem to remember,”_ Kyungsoo furrows his brows together. 

_“Yes. We both were.”_ Junmyeon sighs. “ _Glad that it’s over for me. And you’re almost done, too, I suppose.”_

 _“Uni was fun,”_ Kyungsoo remarks.

_“It was. Do you remember that day you thought you failed your final exam and so we played League of Legends for like, six hours and got really fucking drunk?”_

_“And then we almost actually did fail our next exam.”_ Kyungsoo cracks up. 

“ _And what did you end up getting on that exam you thought you failed?”_

_“A 94.”_

_“Fuck you, I could’ve graduated with a perfect GPA.”_ Junmyeon’s voice has no real malice in it. 

“ _Do you remember the library? I swear I could walk through the shelves blindfolded even now.”_

 _“THE COUCH!”_ Junmyeon shrieks, and Kyungsoo bursts out into laughter as well. 

“ _Ohmygod, it was so uncomfortable. I can’t believe we managed to sleep on it for a week.”_

 _“We were desperate. It was a bad time, okay?”_ Junmyeon chortles. “ _Also remember the librarian storing our blankets for us while we went to class?”_

_“I spent more time in that library than my dorm for undergrad.”_

_“That wasn’t your fault, though--your roommate was kinda an asshole,”_ Junmyeon points out, and Kyungsoo cringes at the memory. 

“ _Everytime I went back, he was just fucking some other chick.”_ Kyungsoo sighs. “ _I’m glad that’s over and done.”_

_“I don’t know about you, but I loosened up a little after undergrad.”_

_“Dude, same. I burnt out. I couldn’t study like that anymore.”_ Kyungsoo grabs a handful of peanuts. “ _Looking back on it, it’s amazing I lasted that long. It’s like my entire life revolved around my grades since… yaknow.”_

“ _Same. Honestly, for me, it kinda sucks. I was so focused on being a good kid and making up for my sexuality so my parents would be proud. I feel like maybe I should’ve lived life more vicariously in college. I wasted all that time studying instead of figuring out who I was.”_ Junmyeon sighs. 

“ _You gain some, you lose some,”_ Kyungsoo argues. “ _With all your job experience and connections under your belt, you have the financial stability to work on the rest of your life now as well.”_

_“You’re right. Maybe I should focus on finding someone, then.”_

_“You don’t need to focus on finding someone,”_ Kyungsoo slurs. “ _I wasn’t trying to find Nini. He just slipped into my life.”_

_“Soo?”_

_“Hmm.”_

_“Do you believe in true love? Or love at first sight?”_ This is it, really; the highlight of the night. The conversation always turns to some philosophical question when it comes to drunk Junmyeon. 

“ _No.”_

_“Why not? You’re crazy for him these days.”_

_“I didn’t love him at first sight. That took time and patience. But when I fell in love, I fell really hard. It was like riding an exponential curve.”_ Kyungsoo laughs at his own analogy. “ _Actually, that’s a perfect way to explain it.”_

_“So you believe in true love but not love at first sight?”_

_“People fall in and out of love all the time. There are different types of love in this world,”_ Kyungsoo intones, thinking about Jongdae, then Jongin again. It always goes back to Jongin. 

“ _Well, I believe in both. I think it can happen to extremely lucky people.”_ Junmyeon looks at Kyungsoo. _“Am I facetious for thinking so?”_

 _“With respect to my own beliefs, yes. But if you think so, then it is possible.”_ Kyungsoo glances at the clock hanging above the door and realizes that it’s almost two. “ _Shit, it’s getting pretty late.”_

 _“Ah, yeah. Time to head home, I suppose. I’ll call a taxi.”_ Junmyeon digs around for his phone and Kyungsoo does as well, turning it on to see a picture of Jongin kissing his cheek. He’d forgotten he had changed it to his wallpaper. “ _Junmyeon, look.”_ He turns his phone towards his friend, who glances up. _“That’s my baby.”_ Kyungsoo sighs heavily from both pining and contentment. _“My Nini.”_

_“Text him. He’s awake, isn’t he?”_

_“I was about to.”_

[Kyungsoo]

I lvoe you

Miss you so mcuh

Want come back hoem

To yu

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

are you drunk?!

what are you doing out so late??????????

hyung ><

_“He’s worrying about me,”_ Kyungsoo tells Junmyeon. “ _He’s so cute, isn’t he?”_

_“Yep.”_

[Kyungsoo]

Myeon brtihday

Karoke

I have a video of em

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

oh 

i was so worried TT_TT

Tellhim i say hbd! 

Did u sing replay? 

I miss u2 

img.6435 

For u

“ _Look,”_ Kyungsoo shows Junmyeon the selca that he’s just received. “ _Ughh…”_ Kyungsoo’s heart is going a mile per minute. In the haze of cloudy thoughts in his head, all he can think about is Jongin’s pout and crescent eyes. 

[Kyungsoo]

U so cute

Ctue

Cute

Really cute

Super cute

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

your texts are so funny when ur drunk 

ahahahahahahaha :3

ur cute too hyungie

[Kyungsoo]

Cute

Justwantah ug

Cue

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

yep 

cute 

thank u hyung

img.6436

[Kyungsoo]

Cute

“ _Kyungsoo, let’s go, our ride is here.”_ Junmyeon holds his hand out. 

“ _I’m talking to my Nini.”_

 _“You can take him with you, you know.”_ Junmyeon tugs Kyungsoo up. “ _Let’s go. Tonight was fun.”_

 _“It was,”_ Kyungsoo agrees readily, still sending Jongin a flurry of hearts. “ _Fun.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ Someone get Junmyeon a boyfriend PLEASE my baby deserves a cute guy ;-;  
> Also I'm very happy that everyone likes the secondhand unrequited massive crush that Sehun has hehe  
> Find me if you wanna talk about my massive unrequited crush on Kim Jongdae :3  
> I love you guys XOXO~  
> Arane and I are hyped af :3  
> (Find her if you wanna talk about Taemin)


	7. YES JONGIN GET IT

“Okay so how does Bayesian shit work again?” Jongin asks, frantically flicking through his notes. 

“No clue.” Sehun sips on his iced coffee while Jongin spares him a glare. 

“We’re both going to fail the final in,” Jongin checks his watch, “thirty minutes, can you spare a little bit of emotion right about now?” 

“As long as my score isn’t any worse than what I usually get on tests, I don’t give a fuck.” Sehun glances down at the textbook scathingly. “Your grade is higher than mine, why are you so worried?” 

“I don’t want to just pass,” Jongin murmurs. “I want to do well.” 

“Ksoo’s getting to your head, really.” Sehun laughs. “By the way, it’s right here. You’re flipping past it.” Sehun gently turns to the correct page and taps it. 

“I fucking hate Bayesian stats.” 

“Why? The concept is very simple.” Sehun spreads his hands widely. “Just think about it this way--if your parameter is dick size--” 

“I’m gonna stop you right there.” Jongin turns back to the textbook. 

“No! Listen, it actually helps. So if you’re measuring dick size and you want to graph it on a bell curve, somebody who’s always been around very large dicks may think that the mean is seven inches, when in fact, the average dick size, is, of course, definitely not seven inches.” Sehun finishes his explanation with a smirk. Jongin stares at him uncomprehendingly. 

“That doesn’t help explain what it is at all.” 

“It does.” Sehun taps the textbook. “Bayesian statistics think of a distribution as describing our beliefs about a parameter. If you’re just exposed to big dicks for your entire life, then your uh, what is it?” Sehun squints at the notes. “Your _prior distribution_ is gonna be way skewed from your likelihood distribution.” When he finishes explaining, a long moment of silence ensues in which Sehun is extremely self-satisfied and Jongin is beginning to realize that while his best friend may not be as dumb as he pretends to be, he is definitely about as horny as Jongin suspected. 

“Did you just relate Bayesian analysis to sex?” 

“Pretty much. Makes it easier to remember, since all I think about is dick. You just have to relate everything to a common occurrence--” 

“You know what else is a common occurrence?” A hollow voice joins them at the table as Baekhyun slides into the booth next to Jongin. “Wanting to drop dead.” 

“Did you fail?” Sehun asks. Jongin bends over his notes again. 

“You’re going to have to be more specific.” Baekhyun steals Sehun’s coffee. “I failed them all.” 

“That’s such an exaggeration, you probably did good on all of them,” Jongin scoffs. “Are you even taking a math class this year?” 

“That’s beside the point.” Baekhyun eyes the pile of notes on the table suspiciously. “Why do you take such a difficult math class?” 

“I hate calculus. Statistics is way easier.” 

“Fair.” Baekhyun concedes, turning away from Sehun as he holds a hand out for his coffee. Jongin pushes his own untouched latte towards Sehun. 

“I don’t want your weak shit. I need my five shots of espresso.” Baekhyun does a double take and squints at the cup in his hand. 

“You put _five_ shots--can your heart even handle that?” 

“Well, it handles hookup culture, so I figure it can handle excess caffeine.” Baekhyun quietly returns the coffee to an unperturbed Sehun. 

“Is this your last final?” Baekhyun asks Jongin, who offers a mute nod. “Look at him. Studying so hard. He’s even got his glasses on today.” 

“Has Kyungsoo seen you with glasses on?” Sehun asks Jongin, who ignores him. “Oh my god. He ignored a sentence with Kyungsoo in it.” 

“He’s truly gone.” Baekhyun stands up. “I’m taking my leave. I’ll see y’all tomorrow, I suppose.” 

“Yeah,” Jongin murmurs. “Later.” 

“Bye, Baek.” Sehun waves him off then returns to texting. 

\--

“FREEDOM!” Jongin screeches as soon as they step out on the grassy common area, and Sehun high-fives him. 

“Another year done.” 

“And now--” Jongin eagerly dumps his backpack on the ground and flops down onto the grass, “Only happy things. Kyungsoo’s coming back, Vegas Week, _summer vacation,”_

 _“_ Don’t forget that tomorrow your audition comes out and we’re all gonna go watch it, too,” Sehun reminds him, and Jongin perks up. 

“Oh, yeah! Is everyone coming?” 

“Yep, Chanyeol’s apparently getting back tomorrow. Baek and I, of course, and were you going to call Soo?” 

“Of course,” Jongin murmurs, shooting off a text already. 

[Jongin]

I’M DONEEEEEEEE

IT’S OVERRRRRRR

I THINK I DID REALLY GOOD TOO 

^_^_^_^_^_^^_^__^^_

LOVE YOU

MISS YOU

AND U WILL BE BACK SOON TOOOO

im happy today heheehehehhe

txt me when u wake up ^^

<3~~~~~~~

“Is that sunbae of yours coming?” Sehun asks when Jongin looks up from his phone. “Minsuk or something?” 

“Minseok? He said he’d try and make it. What about Dae?” Jongin says suddenly. 

“What about him?” Sehun glances down at the grass. 

“Should we call him?” 

“He’ll probably be busy,” Sehun dismisses the thought. “I mean, you can try if you want to.” 

“Well, can you text him and ask?” Jongin requests, and Sehun nods. “I’ll catch you later then?” 

“Yeah, sure.” Sehun waves him off. “Have fun at practice.” 

\--

“Hyung, you made it!” Jongin exclaims happily when he opens the door and sees Minseok’s signature smile. “Come in, come in.” 

“Of course I did. I’m so sorry, Nini, I’ve been so busy lately, but you look like you’re doing well,” Minseok scans him up and down before pulling him into a quick hug. 

“It’s okay,” Jongin dismisses his apology immediately, cooing over the large bouquet of roses. “This is too sweet, hyung, thank you…” 

“Not a problem. I’m proud of you and I’m sure Kyungsoo is, too.” Minseok steps into the crowded living room and Jongin immediately introduces the few unfamiliar faces. 

“Guys, this is Minseok-hyung, Soo’s friend--and mine,” Jongin adds quickly as an afterthought. “Hyung, that’s Baekhyun and his fiance Chanyeol. And you already know Sehun--” Sehun nods and waves, “And my parents,” Jongin finishes. 

“Nice to meet you,” Minseok murmurs, stepping forward to shake hands with everyone. 

“Sehun, what did Jongdae say?” Jongin calls over the general din of noise, and Sehun glances up at him. 

“Busy, of course. He said he’s proud of you, though.” 

“Busy,” Baekhyun makes air quotations. He’s doing a pretty good job of not crawling all over Chanyeol today, but it’s probably just the presence of Sam and Marie that’s keeping him somewhat tame. “Totally.” 

“Have a seat, hyung, don’t be shy,” Jongin insists, beckoning Minseok over to sit gingerly on the couch next to him. Sehun leans against Jongin’s shoulder on his other side, Baekhyun and Chanyeol sit on the loveseat side by side, and Jongin’s parents flicker here and there. 

“Let me know if you guys need drinks or anything,” Marie offers. “Just treat this house like your own.” 

“We’re good, Mrs. Roberts, thank you,” Chanyeol replies, gesturing to the small couch on the side of the living room. “Why don’t you two sit? There’s about five minutes until it airs.” 

“Yeah, don’t worry about us!” Baekhyun pipes up. “We’ll just make Kai get everything.” Jongin shoots him a mock glare. 

“Sehun, how have you been?” Marie turns to Sehun who shows a rare smile. 

“Good. It’s been a while since I’ve been over.” 

“I heard from your mother you got a new place?” 

“Yeah, I’m living in my parents’ apartment complex and paying a discounted rent to them. It’s pretty nice,” Sehun nods. “I like being on my own.” 

“That’s good. Definitely better than living on campus in a dorm,” Sam points out, and Jongin nods at this along with Sehun. “Kai, you gonna move out for junior year?” 

“Yes,” Jongin replies pointedly without glancing at his father. 

“To where?” 

“M’boyfriend’s.” Beside him, Minseok chuckles a little at Marie’s expression. 

“Your mother is not a fan of Kyungsoo?” he asks quietly, and Jongin glances up. 

“No, she likes Soo a lot, but not the idea of me moving in with him. We’ll talk about it later, mom,” he promises. On the loveseat, Baekhyun smirks. 

“Chanyeol’s moving in with me this summer,” Baekhyun supplies, leaning against Chanyeol lazily. 

“I’m never going over to your place again,” Sehun replies, and Baekhyun throws him a nasty look. 

“Nobody ever invited you, didn’t know you were into--” 

“Hyung,” Jongin cuts the conversation off before it gets sexual and dials Kyungsoo up. “It’s starting, I’m gonna put you on speaker, okay?” 

“Ah, is it? Mmkay.” Kyungsoo’s voice makes everyone go silent for a moment. 

“Soo!” Chanyeol calls out. 

“Hey, Yeol. Who’s there?” Kyungsoo asks at large, and Jongin can hear the smile in his voice. 

“Everyone,” Jongin tells him. “M’parents, Baek, Yeollie, Sehunnie, Minseok-hyung.” 

“ _Seokkie?”_ Minseok laughs. 

“It’s been a while, Kyungsoo.” 

“ _I miss you,”_ Kyungsoo tells Minseok in Korean, and much to Jongin’s surprise, Minseok replies easily. 

“ _Me, too! When are you coming back?”_

 _“Not sure yet. Will let you know.”_ Jongin gapes at Minseok. 

“You speak Korean?” 

“Yes! I grew up speaking it at home. It’s enough to pass as a Korean whenever I go overseas.” Minseok smiles at Jongin’s incredulity. “Is it that surprising?” 

“Not really,” Jongin laughs a little. 

“Holy shit, that line was sooooooo long,” Baekhyun laments as the camera pans down the line on the television. “We stood there for hours.” 

“I bet if you slowed down the footage you could find me,” Jongin comments. “That’s probably all the screen time I got.” 

“But if you made the cut to Vegas, wouldn’t they include at least a little bit of you?” Sehun asks. 

“Sometimes they probably introduce the contestants at Vegas and skip over them in the audition round, to keep a little bit of anticipation for unseen faces,” Chanyeol comments. Jongin’s mouth twists to the side as he nods in agreement. “They may use your little bit of fame as suspense, Jongin.” 

“Maybe.” 

“They better put footage in,” Baekhyun grumbles, reaching for a chip. “I did not spend a whole day with you just to get caught in some rushed B-roll shot.” 

“You seemed pretty happy the whole day,” Jongin is unmoved. 

“Cause you were _nervous._ I’m not that big of an asshole.” 

“But you are?” Sehun raises his eyebrows at Baekhyun who sticks his tongue out at Sehun. 

“ _Kiss my ass._ ” Baekhyun tells him in Korean and Sehun only blinks uncomprehendingly as Minseok and Jongin crack a smile. Baekhyun and Chanyeol both grew up in very typical Korean-American households, Jongin knows, and so both of their language proficiencies are just about fluent, save albeit of limited vocabulary. Sehun, on the other hand, never bothered to learn, and of course, Jongin is still struggling with that Korean textbook, although these days he’s starting to be able to make out some of Kyungsoo’s phrases. _Maybe I should get Minseok-hyung to help me_ , Jongin thinks to himself. It’d definitely be easier than a one-sided conversation. Beside Baekhyun, Chanyeol gently nudges Baekhyun’s head.

“ _Don’t say that,”_ Chanyeol chides gently. 

“I’m gonna assume it wasn’t very nice.” Sehun turns back to the television. 

“He never nice, what did you expect?” Kyungsoo joins the conversation. 

“A fair point,” Jongin concedes. 

“Your accent is really something,” Baekhyun jabs at Kyungsoo now to get back at him. It was a bad choice. 

“ _I don’t talk in English at all anymore, of course my retention level is going to go down. You have an American accent when you speak Korean and I don’t say anything about it, suck my dick,_ ” Kyungsoo purposely slurs his words together. Minseok dies laughing at Baekhyun’s eye roll. 

“The only thing I got was _suck my dick,_ isn’t that Jongin’s job?” Baekhyun smirks as Jongin makes to throw something at him, glancing at his parents to make sure they don’t deduce anything from the mixed comment. If they do, they don’t make any signs, only looking slightly bemused at the general conversation. 

“What is going on with the show?” Kyungsoo asks and Jongin glances up. 

“Nobody is watching,” Minseok laughs. “We’re just waiting to see if Nini shows up or not.” 

“ _Uh, since when did you start calling him Nini_?” 

“I don’t mind,” Jongin pitches in. “It’s kinda nice to hear it.” Minseok nods slowly. 

“Oh. Well, as long as you are--uh--do not care.” 

“KAIAKAIAKIAKAKAI!” Baekhyun shrieks suddenly and Jongin flinches when he raises his head to see himself smiling slightly on screen. 

“Oh, shit!” Chanyeol jerks up. “Interview?’ 

“They included it…” Jongin’s heart is racing a mile a minute. What had he said? What else did they include? 

“You’re all sweaty,” Sehun comments, and Jongin laughs breathlessly. 

“Sorry, I’m nervous.” Jongin groans as he blushes on the screen at the mention of his handsome looks. Baekhyun wolf-whistles and smacks Chanyeol, Sehun smirks, and Minseok cracks up. 

“Oh my god, selling point right there,” Baekhyun shrieks gleefully. “You’re hot. Everybody knows it.” 

“Out of every part of the interview, _that’s_ the one they put in.” Jongin flushes red furiously. “I didn’t expect it, okay?” 

“It’s good! It gets you fans!” Minseok comments in between giggles. “I told you before, didn’t I?” 

“Yeah, okay, hyung.” Jongin glances up helplessly to a commercial. “Do we think my performance got put in?” 

“At least a little bit, I’d say,” Marie’s proud smile is infectious. “It feels so real now that we’ve seen it.” 

“Yeah…” Jongin’s face breaks into a smile at Kyungsoo’s laugh. “Did you hear the interview, hyung?” 

“Just a little bit,” Kyungsoo tells him. 

“AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” Baekhyun shakes Chanyeol furiously when Jongin’s stare greets them after the commercial break. “Holy shit, we went from pizza bites to _this sexy motherf--”_

“SHUSH!” Jongin clutches his phone as the music starts. “I’m so nervous, I don’t know how it looks on camera.” 

“ _Just close your eyes and it’ll be over before you know it.”_ The entire room goes silent as Jongin drops to his knees. 

“The entire thing?” Jongin gasps. “They put the whole thing in…” 

“WHOOOOOO!” Baekhyun claps after the performance is over and the room joins in, beaming smiles directed at Jongin who sits with his hands clasped to his mouth. 

“Awwww,” Minseok laughs when on-screen Kai splits into a huge smile after the mesmerizing performance. “Right back to your regular persona. It shows you’re very real.” 

“Oh my god, I didn’t expect them to put the whole routine in! I thought they would cut it a little,” Jongin’s voice shakes with excitement. “I think it looked good…” 

“It was really good, Jong,” Sehun claps him on the back, eyes crinkling up at the corners. “It was so good.” A chorus of voices joins in, agreeing with him. 

“You must send me the video, Nini,” Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin murmurs affirmation. “I am proud of you.” Jongin easily imagines Kyungsoo’s proud, heart-shaped smile. “ _I love you so much.”_

“Gross,” Baekhyun comments. 

“It’s just a phrase!” Jongin exclaims, cheeks flushing pink. 

“Disgusting. Imagine being in love.” Baekhyun gags and leans against Chanyeol again who looks at him, affronted. 

“Then what are you?” 

“A _queen, baby!”_ Baekhyun snaps his fingers sassily and winks at Chanyeol who smiles at him helplessly. “That’s right.” Sehun snorts. 

“That’s so gay.” 

“Excuse YOU, like you’re totally straight.” Minseok coughs subtly at this and Baekhyun turns to look at him. “Oh, you’re straight? So you’re like our honorary Jongdae today!” 

“Jongdae?” Minseok looks politely confused. 

“The straight guy with a pass into the gay friend group. One of these days, we’ll convert him,” Baekhyun smirks. “If I must, I nominate Sehun’s huge--” 

“Absolutely not,” Sehun talks over Baekhyun’s explicit words, 

“To turn him _inside out._ ” Baekhyun finishes with a self-satisfied smirk and Minseok simply dies again from laughter, grasping Jongin’s shoulder for moral support. Sehun looks vaguely affronted. 

“I refuse anything of the sort.” Sehun chucks a soda can at Baekhyun and Chanyeol catches it, much to Baekhyun’s delight. 

“He’s already halfway there anyways, crawling all over you and asking for kisses.” 

“He was lonely,” Sehun makes an excuse for Jongdae. 

“Or so he says.” Baekhyun wiggles his eyebrows at Sehun who turns away, tight-lipped as always. Minseok’s breath hitches when he sees a glimmer of something flash through Sehun’s eyes, and Jongin turns to look at Minseok confusedly. 

“Nothing.” Minseok waves the thought away. “So today was definitely successful, I’d say?” Jongin nods. 

“Thank you for coming, hyung. And everyone else, too,” Jongin adds, clapping a little. “Really, I didn’t expect this at all.” 

“Of course! Another school year finished, too,” Chanyeol beams widely. “We have so many graduates this year.” 

“Who’s done?” Minseok asks interestedly, and Sehun pipes up. 

“Yeol’s done with his master’s in double E, Baek’s got his master’s in performing arts, and Soo with compsci.” Minseok nods thoughtfully. 

“Is Soo planning on pursuing a PhD?” Minseok asks, and Jongin shakes his head. 

“He doesn’t need to. He’s got a lot of plans.” Jongin smiles. “He doesn’t finish until around July though, I think. Or August? Don’t remember.” 

“Ahh, I see. Well, congratulations all around!” Minseok stands up from his seat. “Nini, I’m sorry, I have to run to work now.” 

“Don’t be sorry, hyung. Thank you for coming, seriously,” Jongin stands up to walk him to the door and everyone else follows. “Oh, everyone’s leaving?” 

“Do you guys wanna go out tonight?” Baekhyun suggests as Chanyeol drapes his jacket across Baekhyun’s shoulders. “Minseok-sunbae, you’re welcome to join us.” 

“You’re kind, Baekhyun, but I will pass. I’m not one to go clubbing.” Minseok declines politely. 

“I’m fine with going out, I got nothing to do,” Jongin agrees easily, feeling exceptionally giddy. 

“I might bring Hui,” Sehun answers quietly and both Baekhyun and Jongin’s heads snap towards him in an instant. “Don’t overthink it.” 

“I’m definitely overthinking,” Baekhyun warns him. “That’s couple behavior, Sehun. You got something to tell us?” Minseok simply looks confused. 

“Not really.” Sehun avoids eye contact. “We haven’t established anything.” 

“This isn’t the end of this conversation,” Baekhyun threatens as Chanyeol pulls him away. 

“We’ll see you tonight!” Chanyeol calls, and Jongin waves them off. 

“Bye, Minseok-hyung. Again, thank you for coming,” Jongin greets him. “I’ll see you around, I hope.” 

“Sure thing, Nini. Call me if you need anything.” Minseok waves at Jongin’s parents before taking his leave as well. Jongin turns to Sehun, who turns away. 

“Yo. You can tell me anything,” Jongin catches Sehun’s sleeve. “I won’t tell Baek if you don’t want me to.” 

“I know. I’m not leaving you out of the loop, I promise,” Sehun reassures him. “I just don’t mind him. Think he’s pretty cute.” 

“Okay…” Jongin lets him go reluctantly. “I’ll see you tonight, then?” 

“Sure.” Sehun turns tail rather quickly after a tight-lipped smile. “Good job, Jong.” 

“Thanks.” Jongin watches him leave before padding back to the living room for his phone. To his surprise, Kyungsoo is still on the line. “Soo, you’re still here?” 

“Hmm? Yes.” Kyungsoo’s typing something in the background. “I am proud of you, baby.” Jongin takes him off speaker and presses the phone to his ear, signaling to his parents that he’s going upstairs. Marie nods. 

“I love you. Thank you, hyung,” Jongin flops onto his bed. “I miss you.” 

“Hey, you are done with exams. I will be back before you know it.” Kyungsoo chuckles. “I am glad you sound happy today.” 

“I’m really happy today. Also I’m leaving for Vegas week in about a week,” Jongin tells him. “I’ll get you a souvenir.” 

“Sounds fun, sweetheart. Keep me updated.” 

“I will.” Jongin sighs. “I wish you could come with me. It would be so fun.” 

“You will be busy, perhaps. Not enough time. But you must focus,” Kyungsoo encourages him. “I always here for you.” 

“Yes, I will.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you, too, hyung.” 

“ _My shining star,_ ” Kyungsoo murmurs. “ _You’re gonna go so far._ ” 

\--

“Ah, these are your friends from the bowling alley that night!” A bright voice chirps, and Jongin looks up to see Sehun standing over him with a vaguely familiar face by his side, fingertips just barely brushing Sehun’s forearm. 

“Yep. Gang, Hui. Hui, that’s Baekhyun, this is Jongin, that’s Chanyeol.” Sehun gestures to each of them vaguely.” 

“We’ve met,” Jongin smirks, reaching forward to shake hands with Hui, who reciprocates eagerly. “Nice to meet you again.” 

“Quit the act,” Baekhyun snorts, reaching for the alcohol. “He’s not a playboy, don’t let him lead you on.” 

“What makes you say that?” Jongin wiggles an eyebrow at Baekhyun. He’s feeling exceptionally sultry today; even pulling out the grey colored contacts and an old stage crop top. Baekhyun’s been wiggling his fingers into the holes near his collarbones since the night began. 

“So,” Baekhyun continues after his shot, “are you two… dating? Boyfriends? What is this?” 

“It’s just a night out,” Sehun interrupts as Hui opens his mouth to speak. “I told you not to overreact.” 

“You’re engaged?” Hui blurts out as he slides into the booth next to Sehun, glancing between Baekhyun and Chanyeol. The latter glances at his ring self-consciously, but Hui continues. “Congrats! Wow, that’s so cool. I don’t have any friends who are engaged yet. Then again, I’m just a freshman in undergrad, so it’d be kinda weird if anyone was engaged. That’s awesome, though. You guys are awfully cute together.” Chanyeol blinks a few times as words fly out of Hui’s mouth as easily as Sehun is picking guys up at the club every weekend. 

“Uh… thanks.” Chanyeol closes his hand around Baekhyun’s. 

“Oh man, you’re not shy, are you?” Baekhyun slurs, leaning against Chanyeol’s shoulder. “I like you. Buy you a drink?” 

“Oh! Okay,” Hui agrees easily. Sehun slides his credit card over to Baekhyun.

“Make it two.”

Baekhyun smiles devilishly as he stands up. “Sehunnie, I didn’t know he was your type.” 

“He--” Sehun breaks off with a slightly confused look on his face. “Yeah,” he finishes lamely. Hui doesn’t seem to notice. 

“My friend said you were taken last time he tried to make moves on you,” Hui tells Jongin, who looks up in surprise from nursing a Diet Coke. 

“Hm? Oh, yeah.” Jongin fiddles with the knit hem of his shirt. 

“Where is he, then?” 

“He’s in Korea, finishing up his degree.” Jongin smiles at the thought of Kyungsoo. “He’ll be back in summer.” 

“Oh, wow! I heard long-distance is really difficult. Kudos to you, though, if you can handle that shit. A lot of my friends--like high school sweethearts--they all broke up when they moved to different places for college.” Hui accepts Baekhyun’s drink with a goofy smile. “Thanks. Cheers, Sehun.” 

“Sure.” Sehun clinks glasses and downs the shot. 

“You don’t drink?” Hui asks Jongin, wincing at the taste. Jongin nods, then shakes his head. 

“Er, uh, no, I don’t drink.” 

“But that doesn’t stop you from having a fun time, amiright?” Hui stands up, tugging on Sehun’s shirt. “Let’s go.” When Sehun stands up, he’s almost a full head taller than Hui, who practically vibrates with excitement. Sehun’s hand comes up to caress the back of Hui’s neck almost posessively, fingers skimming the nape of his neck and trace his undercut as he leads Hui to the dance floor and promptly pulls him close. The trio remaining at the table watch them go with vaguely similar astounded looks on their faces. 

“Well, look at that,” Baekhyun says after a heartbeat. “Who would’ve thought?” 

“He said it’s not serious,” Jongin murmurs. “I wouldn’t take it too seriously.” 

“Sure, Kai. When have you ever seen Sehun sleep more than three times with the same guy? He even dumped that Christmas hookup of his.” Baekhyun’s laugh is more of a snort. “It looks pretty serious to me.” 

“Everyone’s gotta settle down sometime.” Chanyeol draws Baekhyun closer to him. “I don’t think it’s a bad thing.” 

“I thought he said he was planning on whoring around for all of undergrad,” Baekhyun retorts. 

“Best not to think about it.” Jongin’s dismissal is partly to protect Sehun’s privacy. “Baekhyun, be my boyfriend.” 

“Yes, baby.” Baek crawls over Chanyeol’s lap out of the corner, leaving a nasty kiss on Chanyeol’s lips as he does so. “Sorry, I’m dumping you.” 

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Chanyeol mumbles around Baekhyun’s tongue. “So what am I gonna do?” 

“We can be a threesome,” Jongin suggests with a shadow of a smirk on his face and at this, Baekhyun lets out a shriek of laughter. 

“You’re really happy today, aren’t you?” Jongin nods before grasping Baekhyun’s wrist and pulling him to the floor. 

\--

“DAMN, DADDY!” Baekhyun shrieks as he clicks pictures one after another. “YESSIR! YOU TELL EM!” 

“Inside voices, please,” Sehun leans against the side of the wall, one hand draped around Hui’s shoulders as the younger looks on at the impromptu photoshoot with something like awe on his face. Jongin only casts smoldering eyes at the camera and tips the crop top off of his shoulder, upping the sex appeal as if there wasn’t nearly enough already. 

“How do you manage to pull all those faces and pose at the same time? Are you a model? Holy shit. I’m sorry I ever said I wasn’t interested in you,” Hui gushes when Jongin crouches low and winks at the camera lens. 

“Just practice.” Jongin takes the phone and begins flipping through the pictures, although Sehun catches the slight blush on Jongin’s neck and the way his hip juts out confidently. 

“He feelin himself today,” Baekhyun slurs, stumbling into Chanyeol’s ready arms. “Lemme know if you need more.” 

“Yep,” Jongin murmurs. “They look good, though.” 

“Will you teach me how to pose like that? Not gonna lie, that was kinda mesmerizing.” Sehun barks out a laugh at Hui’s request, but Jongin beckons him over. 

“One hand in your pocket. Tilt this way, relax this leg. Yep, but don’t sit into your hip. You gotta pull yourself up. Roll your shoulders back and then down. Tilt--” Jongin quickly adjusts Hui’s position. “Stay there.” Jongin backs up and crouches down to find a good angle. “Yep. Relax a little.” Sehun watches silently but with utmost interest as Jongin rearranges Hui this way and that, the younger eager to pick up Jongin’s tips and cues. 

“Why are you so invested in this?” Chanyeol asks, even though he also eyes the situation at hand amusedly. 

“None of you ever listen to me! I like playing with poses and models, okay? I finally have someone who wants to do it.” Jongin turns his attention back to Hui, who smiles brightly at the declaration. 

“Sehun, what do you think? Am I cute?” Hui hands his phone to Sehun who flicks through the shots silently. Baekhyun titters at the forwardness of the question, but Sehun doesn’t seem to mind. 

“Ya look good, kid.” Sehun’s hand goes back around Hui’s shoulders. “Ready to get outta here?” The deeper register in his voice sends a shiver down Hui’s back. 

“Yes.” 

“Jongin, could we get a ride?” 

“Hmm?” Jongin glances up at his best friend tracing a thumb across Hui’s cheek teasingly. “One sec…” He texts a few of the best pictures to Kyungsoo and waits with bated breath as he watches the three dots pop up almost immediately. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Why you are teasing me? 

[Jongin]

but im not :3

img.6631

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Now you are. 

Is that lace?

Jongin’s breath hitches as he zooms into the picture. Yup, lace just around his waistline. He’s surprised Baekhyun didn’t say anything about it while snapping away, but then again, Jongin had only caught it just now. He bites his lip, debating internally for only seconds before sending his text in a bout of bravery. 

[Jongin]

you wanna see more?

;) 

Kyungsoo’s reply is instantaneous. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Please

[Jongin]

then wait until i get home

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Fuck

Tease

[Jongin]

tease hyung? 

I would never… ><

img.6632

“C’mon, guys! I’ll give you all a ride home.” Jongin doesn’t bother hiding the absolutely devilish grin of his as he pushes the door open and purposely puts an extra sway into his hips as he walks to the car, attracting the attention of many drunkards leaning against the outside of the club. 

\--

[Jongin]

m’home now

where were we? 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

My baby looks so good today. 

[Jongin]

ty hyung~

Jongin bites his lip to conceal his laughter, neatly seated in front of the full length mirror hanging down from the top of his closet door. He can almost imagine Kyungsoo narrowing his eyes in frustration, trying to figure out what to say without giving in to Jongin’s teasing. After a few minutes, a line of text slides in. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I have to go to work~

[Jongin]

hyungie

TT_TT

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I will text you when you wake up. 

[Jongin]

okay fine fine

img.6633

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Work got cancelled

[Jongin]

img.6634

like what u see hyung?

;)

Jongin scrutinizes his next picture. It’s a mirror selca this time, with his fly undone and pants shimmied down to the widest part of his hips, showcasing even more lace and just a hint of a half-hard erection which Jongin’s hand lingers over. Kyungsoo will probably like it. Jongin hits send. 

[Jongin]

img.6634

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Fuckkkkk

Pretty thing

Good to see you like the panties

[Jongin]

they go well with the outfit

:3

Jongin doesn’t wait for an answer as he sends the next one, kicking his pants off and kneeling in front of the mirror neatly with slightly spread legs and leaning back onto one arm. The look in his eyes is almost innocent and his mouth is in a cute little pout. All the way across the world, in a cramped college dorm, Kyungsoo curses the whole of the Pacific Ocean for being such a cockblock. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

You are playful today…

[Jongin]

hyung 

am i pretty ?

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

The prettiest

[Jongin]

how pretty?

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Does it make you hard to hear me call you pretty?

You are so easy

[Jongin]

img.6635

Kyungsoo actually curses out loud when the picture finally downloads--Jongin’s finger on the tip of his erection, neatly packaged in sheer black lace. He caves, palming himself over sweatpants and exhaling shakily. 

[Kyungsoo]

Pretty boy

So hard for hyung

Can I make you cum with just words?

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

you can try hyung

your english is not as goodas it used to b

[Kyungsoo]

It is enough to tell you how good you would look riding my thigh

I wouldn’t let you take your panties off

Just watch you make a mess and ruin them

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

hyung 

[Kyungsoo]

Is Nini needy?

Does he need hyung’s lap to make himself feel good?

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

yyes 

Kyungsoo inhales through his nose when he pulls his sweatpants down and wraps a hand around his hard length. It would probably be easier to call, but since Jongin insisted on teasing and because Kyungsoo is stubborn, he decides to refrain from doing so. 

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

hyung you feel so good

[Kyungsoo]

Just my leg?

Not even my cock, Nini. 

img.5781

Kyungsoo can almost imagine Jongin’s keens as one hand moves fast and tight around his cock, the other gripping the phone tightly and clicking on the picture he just sent of his cock--red and leaking precum at the tip, balls heavy and cradled in Kyungsoo’s palm. 

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

Ohdsf

[Kyungsoo]

Words, please

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

ur so thick

ohmygod hyung i want it

[Kyungsoo]

I think you can cum just from this, baby

Rubbing yourself on my thigh

I want to watch you come apart

It feels good, right?

You are so easy

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

Ohffufck

[Kyungsoo]

You will take anything

Even hyung’s lap is enough to make you cum. 

Will you show hyung?

Kyungsoo groans lowly when he clicks on the shaky video. Nini’s whimpers filter in through his earbuds as he cums with a soft moan, Kyungsoo’s name dripping from his lips like honey. It makes Kyungsoo’s cock twitch in his hand as he steadily brings himself closer to orgasm as well. One last picture of Jongin is what does it, a selca with half of that adorable crop top hanging off of one side and exposing a beautiful, tan shoulder. Kyungsoo cums with a gasp, fixated on Jongin’s wide eyes as he stuffs one cum-stained finger into his mouth with just a hint of tongue peeking out of his mouth. 

[Kyungsoo]

Naughty baby

_Such a cumslut._

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

I google translated that

><

ffr its cumslut hyung

[Kyungsoo]

What is ffr

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

For Future REference

[Kyungsoo]

Hmm. 

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

did u cum

Jongin bites his lip as he stares at the line of text sliding in, vaguely wondering if the little bit of reading he had done on sexting had been worth it to him. 

[Kyungsoo]

img.5782

Of course.

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

was that okay?

I don’t know if I was good at it

I j wanted to try bc we havent sexted yet and i though u might like it…

[Kyungsoo]

You are too cute 

Yes Nini

It was perfect

You are perfect

I love you

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

<3~

I love you too

Work for real now?

[Kyungsoo]

Unfortunately

[♡♡Nini♡♡]

s’ok

bye hyung 

gn~ 

[Kyungsoo]

Good night sweetheart

I love you. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need me a friend like byun baekhyun who will hype me up and take hot pictures of me  
> -  
> TY FOR YOUR SUPPORT! I LOVE YOU  
> I wrote half of this after staying up till 5am for the SuperM concert :3  
> i'm posting my Jongin reference for this chapter on twitter!  
> until next time~


	8. call me if you want a boyfriend for the night

“Nini?” A light hand brushes Jongin’s shoulders and he glances up to see Minseok clutching a stack of textbooks in the crook of one arm. 

“Minseok-hyung!” Jongin gestures to the chair adjacent to him. “You surprised me.” 

“Likewise! It’s summer vacation, what are you studying?” Minseok gratefully dumps his armful of reading material on the table and leans in to peek at Jongin’s notes. “You are teaching yourself Korean?” 

“I want to get better for Kyungsoo,” Jongin explains bashfully, doodling absentmindedly on a corner of the page. “And also I suppose I’ve always wanted to learn Korean, but I just never really got around to doing it.” 

“Ah, that’s sweet.” Minseok studies his notes for just a minute longer. 

“Why is hyung here?” Jongin inquires, and Minseok smiles. 

“Just picking up some resources for my research.” Minseok gestures to the stack in front of him. “I have a lot of work to be done.” 

“How are your studies going?” 

“It’s going.” Minseok smiles wanly. “I enjoy my work a lot, but paper deadlines are a different story.” 

“Ah…” Jongin frowns slightly. “Hyung looks tired.” 

“I’m okay, Jongin. May I?” Minseok pulls Jongin’s notebook towards him. “Your handwriting is quite nice.” 

“I’m working on it, I suppose.” Jongin fiddles self-consciously along the edge of his t-shirt. It’s finally gotten warm enough that he doesn’t necessarily need a jacket to go out anymore. “Grammar confuses me sometimes.” 

“Understandable. It’s quite different from English, but it seems like you’re doing well.” 

“I’m getting more confident,” Jongin murmurs. “It’s not as difficult as when I first started.” 

“That could pertain to multiple things, actually.” Minseok glances at Jongin carefully, signaling a change in conversation. Jongin gets the acute feeling that he’s being interviewed. 

“Erm… I mean it in most ways, I guess?” Jongin scratches his head. Minseok cups his cheek with his hand in a gesture of casualness. 

“You seem like you’ve gained some weight back,” he begins, “and you definitely seemed more cheerful at your party a few days ago.” 

“Yes, hyung. I’ve definitely been better after finals and everything.” Jongin smiles now. “Soo’s coming back soon, too. Somehow, it doesn’t feel like forever anymore, just like a few more months, I guess?” 

“When did he say he was coming back?” 

“I don’t know… probably early August? But I have lots of stuff in my schedule as well, so I’ll be fine, I think.” 

“Make sure you aren’t working yourself to death,” Minseok stresses. “That kind of thing isn’t really sustainable long-term, you know?” 

“I know, hyung. I burnt out already.” Jongin shifts as Minseok’s eyes raise in concern. “I stopped a few weeks ago…” 

“Okay.” Minseok huffs. “I’m glad it didn’t get too extreme, Nini. I just wanted to check in on you even though I pretty much figured you were doing okay. Just wanted to see if you were being honest with yourself, I suppose.” 

“Thank you, hyung.” Jongin’s eyes crinkle up in amusement. “I’m doing good these days.” 

“Yes, you are,” Minseok agrees, tapping the notebook. “With Korean and with everything else.” 

“Actually, I was going to ask you for a favor…” Jongin looks hesitant, and Minseok gestures for him to go on. “But you might be too busy, I’m afraid. I don’t want to interrupt--” 

“ _Did you want a tutor?”_ Minseok switches languages effortlessly and Jongin blinks a few times. 

“ _Yes. Kind of.”_

“ _I can do that.”_ Minseok laughs quietly. “ _It’s summer vacation, after all. It’s not like I’m working full-time.”_

 _“Sorry?”_ Jongin winces and Minseok repeats his phrase in English. “ _Oh, okay. I would be really… thankful.”_

 _“Of course. It’s not a problem, Jongini.”_ Minseok beams at him widely. “ _Do you want some help now?”_

 _“Oh!”_ Jongin looks down at his notes, then up at Minseok’s expectant gaze. “That would be awesome, hyung.” 

“Sure thing. And just text me if you want to schedule say, one or two lessons per week? And you’re always welcome to find me for speaking practice as well.” Minseok scoots his chair closer to Jongin. “So where were you?” 

\--

“What are you thinking about?” Hui sits up from the bed and comes up behind Sehun’s seated figure in front of his computer to wrap his arms around Sehun’s bare chest. “A summer trip?” He eyes the long listing of plane tickets together with Sehun, lightly nibbling along the elder’s earlobe. Sehun shivers slightly. 

“Not sure.” 

“Why?” Hui asks with interested eyes, and Sehun hesitates because truth be told, while he does have a motive, he’s definitely not interested in sharing.

“Jongin might go to Los Angeles for some work,” he says carefully. “In the near future, perhaps. I was thinking about going with him.” 

“That sounds fun.” Hui clamors to straddle Sehun’s lap and Sehun lets him, lightly pushing his chair back to give Hui room. Sehun doesn’t stop scrolling through the plane tickets even as Hui presses his chest flush to Sehun’s and begins kissing down the side of his neck. “So what about us?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“What are we?” Hui laps insistently at Sehun’s pulse point, making him twitch slightly. It’s starting to get hot with the two of them pressed together like this and Sehun’s hand runs down Hui’s damp back, gently drumming along the low dip of his lower back just before the waistband of his boxers as he considers the question. On one hand, Sehun knows his main reason for even considering a trip to the west coast. He’s not lying to himself. On the other hand, Hui hasn’t been home in three days, choosing instead to spend nights (and other odd hours of the day) moaning Sehun’s name over and over again. But they’ve also done-- _couple-y_ stuff. Like hold hands and get raspberry sorbet. And watch movies and make out on Sehun’s couch. And even talk about first date topics over microwaveable chicken tenders at 2am in the morning after sex. And Sehun had enjoyed it--enough to not even think about The Hyung. But he's still unsure of where he stands in terms of a relationship. He had, after all, slept with a couple other people in between Hui’s visits ever since they started last month, and Sehun’s chest knots uncomfortably at the idea of dating Hui but pining after Jongdae. _It’s not fair to him_ , Sehun knows. 

“Sehunnie?” Hui pops off Sehun's neck, which now sports a red love mark. 

“What do you wanna be, kid?” Sehun presses his lips to Hui’s briefly. 

“I dunno. I’m open to whatever. We can talk about it casually, I don’t care.” Hui shrugs nonchalantly. “I really like you, but you said you weren’t looking for anything, and to be completely honest, I’m not either.”

“Have you fucked anybody except me in these past few weeks?” Sehun finds himself asking. 

“Of course. You?” Sehun nods. “Then do you like me?” 

“I… yeah, Hui. Sure.” Sehun’s hand strokes Hui’s hair absentmindedly. “You’d know if I didn’t like you.” 

“Yeah, I bet. You seem like that kind of person. But you wanna like other people, too, right? How long would you be leaving? I don’t want to start anything if you’ll be gone for a while, and I don’t think you do, either. I don’t even know if either of us really wants a conventional relationship at all, per say.” Hui’s more attentive and shrewd than he lets on, Sehun has realized. It’s part of what makes him _interesting_. Despite all the fluff that comes out of his mouth, he’s very good at parsing out other’s bullshit. 

“I guess. Depending on how long Jongin stays. I might be there for about two weeks or maybe--maybe the whole summer? I don’t know.” Sehun frowns. “I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. I’d miss you a little,” he admits.

“Only a little?” Hui’s crooked grin shows. “Alright, then.” His hands drift lower, tracing Sehun’s thin waist, and back up again. “But like, I don’t really want to start anything.” Hui is blunt. “You just didn’t kick me out, so I simply stayed.” 

“I didn’t have a reason to. I like the company.” Sehun is not an asshole. “But I don’t want anything either,” he adds. 

“Well then, we can like each other and still fuck other people. They’re not mutually exclusive.” Hui’s lips are back on Sehun’s neck again. “I bet Cali boys are hot,” Hui murmurs against Sehun’s neck. _They are,_ Sehun thinks, his thoughts flitting to Jongdae’s chest. 

“Sure,” Sehun concedes. “So like… open-ended dating?” 

“Yeah, I guess. Not even dating. It’s like--you can fuck whoever you want but you know you can always call me if you want a ‘boyfriend’ for the night. Or if you can’t find a dick. And you don’t have to feel guilty or whatever. Yaknow what I mean?”

“That’s really long-winded, kid.” 

“What did you expect?” Hui wriggles closer against Sehun’s hips, and he’s definitely half-hard. “So are we on the same page now?” 

“Yeah.” Sehun’s a little breathless already from Hui’s grinding. “Yep.” 

“Then come fuck me, _daddy._ ” Hui’s hand is creeping lower and lower and he squeals when Sehun stands up suddenly, hands planted firmly on Hui’s ass as he walks the few steps to the bed. 

\--

“Sehunnie,” Jongdae’s voice is honey-sweet and Sehun lets it wash over him like a breath of fresh air. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

Sehun shifts a little on the bed. “Erm--you know how Jongin might… like… go to Los Angeles if he passes Vegas Week?” 

“Are you gonna go with if he does?” Jongdae demands, and Sehun lets a smirk flit across his face briefly. 

“Maybe,” Sehun says mysteriously, and can’t help the smile that breaks across his face when Jongdae screeches in excitement into the receiver. 

“YOU’RE COMING? YOU REALLY ARE? HOW LONG ARE YOU STAYING?” 

“I SAID IF HE MAKES THE CUT!” Sehun laughs. “I don’t know, okay? I’m just betting on the fact that he’ll make it.” 

”If that’s the case, I’m gonna go blackmail him right now. He better make it, I wanna see you so badly, Sehunnie.” Sehun’s cheeks hurt from smiling. 

“No, no, don’t tell him. I want to surprise him if he does. But yeah. Yeah, hyung.” The hope in his voice is uncontainable. “I’ve missed you, too.” 

“Of course, me, too. Oh my gosh, I’ll have to plan. We gotta do _everything,_ I want to take you to this amazing restaurant, we gotta visit the museums together, and you can meet Seojun--” Sehun’s chest clenches around the wave of happiness that just washed over him even though he’s still undeniably excited at the prospect of seeing Jongdae. 

“Okay,” Sehun agrees, somewhat calmer than the initial rush of ecstasy. “Show me around, hyung.” 

“I will, I definitely will. Do you need me to pick you up from the airport? Just let me know what you and Jongin are planning on doing and if I can help out, okay? I can recommend a good hotel for you if you need accommodation. I assume Jongin’s all set, though?” 

“I would assume the production crew would cover him. Nothing’s set in stone, hyung. I just… I figured since you wanted me to visit, and since Jongin might like a familiar face… yaknow. The timing just works out well--er, if it works out at all.” 

“I know. Oh, Kim Jongin, please don’t let your hyung down,” Jongdae groans, and Sehun silently agrees. “I wanna see my Sehunnie.” 

_HE SAID_ **_MY_ ** _SEHUNNIE,_ Sehun’s brain supplies. _Did you hear that? You’re HIS Sehunnie._

“I know,” Sehun breathes. “He has to make it.” 

“Sehunnie, you have no idea how excited I am.” 

“Knowing you, hyung, I’m sure I can imagine.” Sehun chuckles. 

“Sehun?” Hui pokes his head into the bedroom. “Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?” 

“Huh?” Sehun turns around and covers the receiver with one hand. “Oh--yeah, that’s fine with me. Just gimme a minute.”

“Sure.” Sehun raises the phone up to his ear again. 

“Oooh, who was that?” Jongdae’s voice is teasing. 

“Just Hui.” 

“He’s still at your apartment?” Sehun hesitates and provides a noncommittal grunt, which does nothing to deter Jongdae from his ever-rising excitement. “You have him over multiple days in a row? SEHUNNIE!” Jongdae squeals and Sehun winces at the high pitch. “Are you serious?” 

“Hyung, don’t overthink it, we’re not a thing,” Sehun warns, but Jongdae doesn’t stop. 

“Awww, Sehunnie’s found a cute boy, hasn’t he?” 

“It’s not like that,” Sehun refutes. “We aren’t dating or anything.” 

“But you liiiikeeeee him,” Jongdae teases. “Is he coming with you to Cali?” 

“Gah, you act like a twelve year old, _hyung._ And no, he’s not coming. I’m still whoring around, don’t get so excited.” 

“Do you liiiikeee--” 

“Hyung, seriously?” 

“Sehunnie liiikeeess a boy. He’s gonna leave me for him,” Jongdae’s pouting, Sehun’s sure of it. “You’re just gonna forget about your hyung like that, Hunnie?”

 _You know Hunnie kinda sounds like honey, so technically Jongdae just called you hon--_

“I’m visiting _you._ ” Sehun laughs helplessly at the cute whine in Jongdae’s voice. He’s so glad Jongdae can’t see his blush. “I would never--” 

“You’d never leave me? Oh, you’re so sweet,” Jongdae cooes, and Sehun’s brain short-circuits. But Jongdae isn’t done. 

“Sehunnie, were my kisses not enough for you? I’m heartbwoken.” Sehun knows he’s just acting now to get a rise out of him, but Sehun still fans his face furiously despite being the only one in the room. 

“I don’t accept your kisses.” 

“I thought I was your honorary boyfriend,” Jongdae presses, “You said so at Christmas, Sehunnie. Why him? What does he have that I don’t?” _An innate attraction for big dicks, but other than that, nothing._

“Hyung, you sound so gay right now.” Sehun will die. Oh, what he wouldn’t give, just for Kim Jongdae to be his actual boyfriend. 

“I’m teasing you. You sound soooo cute when you’re embarrassed.” Jongdae giggles. “You’re so easy to read, Sehun.” Sehun’s heart stops for just a moment. 

“What do you mean by that?” he asks quietly, not sure whether he wants to hear the answer or not. Jongdae’s answer is cheery. 

“You like Hui a lot more than you’re letting on, aren’t you?” 

“No,” Sehun refutes, mostly relieved that Jongdae’s kinda oblivious, or maybe Sehun’s just good at hiding crushes. “I told you, we really don’t have anything between us. We just talked about it.” 

“But you _wish_ you had something with him.” _I wish I had something with_ **_you._ **Sehun snorts. 

“No. I wouldn’t plan on leaving if I liked him as much as you say, hyung.” 

“Ooooookayyyyyyy, Sehunnie. Whatever you say.” Sehun knows Jongdae well enough to picture the shit-eating smirk on his face. “Keep texting me updates, then. I won’t hold you up anymore. Go to dinner with your boyfriend.” 

“He’s _not_ my _\--”_

 _“_ Good night, Sehunnie!” Jongdae hangs up, cutting off Sehun’s protests. Sehun sighs, shaking his head a little to clear it. 

_If Jongin makes it to Los Angeles, then I was meant to spend the summer with Jongdae._ Sehun crosses his fingers and _prays_ that his best friend will be the ever-reliable wingman he’s always been.Then he gets up to find Hui sitting atop one of his bar stools, waiting for him. 

“Let’s go?” Sehun asks, one hand reaching up to ruffle the boy’s hair. Hui looks up from his phone and smiles. 

“Who was that?” 

“An annoying ass friend of mine.” Sehun’s voice is gruff. 

“Was he teasing you about me? I heard you a little.” Sehun sighs and Hui giggles. “My friends do the same. They tell me to stop sleeping around and to actually establish relationships instead of leaving them open-ended. But I don’t really wanna, yaknow?” 

“Tell me about it, kid.” 

\--

Jongin giggles to himself when he sees the latest text from Kyungsoo, squinting against the sunlight streaming into his room. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Are you free?

[Jongin]

this is america

jk 

yes i am 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Funny

Good morning my little star

Can I video call?

[Jongin]

oooohhh yes pls

“I like the new nickname,” Jongin says as a greeting, still half hidden in his sheets. From the other side, Kyungsoo’s eyes crinkle up in laughter. 

“Because you are my shining star,” he tells Jongin cooperatively, and Jongin blushes. “Good morning, sweetheart.” 

“Morning,” Jongin murmurs. 

“You are not wearing shirt,” Kyungsoo observes, and Jongin nods. 

“I don’t wear a shirt to sleep when it gets warm.” 

“Ah, it is warm there now?” 

“It’s been pretty nice these past few days. Mid-70s.” 

“Hmm,” Kyungsoo nods. “I do not know what that is in Celsius.” 

“Er--I don’t know either.” Jongin laughs. “You can convert.” 

“Lazy. You look hot. Anyway, I want to take you on date,” Kyungsoo tells Jongin, who merely shrugs, still half-asleep. 

“How are we gonna do that?” Jongin murmurs. The bed is so comfortable. He doesn’t have to rush to get ready for class. His parents are out of the house for work. He can stay up late for Kyungsoo now. Life is so nice without school. 

“Go get some breakfast first,” Kyungsoo smiles as Jongin pulls himself out of bed, patting his hair down futilely. 

“My face is so puffy,” Jongin moans, poking at it and squinting at himself through the camera. 

“You look so cute when you just wake up,” Kyungsoo covers his mouth with the back of his hand slightly. “Oh my goodness. I miss wake up next to you.” 

“Saaameee.” Jongin stumbles a little as he goes down the stairs. “Iron deficiency problems, esketit.” 

“What?” 

“I’m joking.” Jongin fumbles for a bowl of cereal while still holding his phone. “I miss your oatmeal.” 

“I make it again for you when I get back.” 

“That’d be nice.” Jongin props the phone up against the milk carton. “You wanna eat cereal with me, hyung?” 

“It is ten o’clock at night here.” Kyungsoo’s mouth twists to the side in amusement. 

“You’ve never eaten cereal at night? It kinda slaps, hyung.” 

“If you say so.” Kyungsoo wanders off in search of cereal supplies. “What are you eating?” 

“I literally only eat Honey Nut Cheerios, you know this.” 

“Ah. You are right.” Kyungsoo locates the necessities and situates himself back at his desk. “This is romantic.” 

“Definitely,” Jongin agrees, still combing a hand through his lopsided hair. “I’ve ascended into my final form with this hairstyle.” 

“You look very cute,” Kyungsoo tells him while pouring the milk over his cereal carefully. “And you seem happy?” 

“I’m going on a date today, allegedly. Of course I’m happy.” Jongin lightly shakes his wrist to hear the charm jingle against his bracelet. “Do you still have my charms?” 

“Of course.” Kyungsoo reaches out of frame and holds them up. “Your heart. And you. I have them both. I am lucky.” Jongin nods through a mouthful of cereal. “After you eat, we watch a movie,” Kyungsoo tells him. “And then dance.” 

“I get to see you dance?” 

“I mean I sit here and watch you dance.” Jongin pouts at Kyungsoo and he smirks at Jongin playfully. “And then…” Kyungsoo winks and Jongin blushes. 

“Mmmm. Hard to say what I’m looking forward to.” 

“Easy for me to tell.” Kyungsoo smirks again. “This is… better than eating cereal in the morning.” 

“What, cereal at night? I know, right? It’s so good. The thrill of breaking social norms just makes it that much better.” Jongin wiggles his eyebrows at Kyungsoo. 

“You talk lots this morning,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “So cute. Give me a kiss.” At this, Jongin presses his fingers to his lips and blows a flurry of kisses towards his camera. 

“Ah, I have something to show you,” Jongin giggles, setting his spoon down. 

“Let me see.” 

“It’s really cringy, hyung…” Jongin’s face is alight with mischief and Kyungsoo is getting more and more curious. 

“What is it?” 

“Don’t hold it against me,” Jongin pleads, and at this, Kyungsoo grabs his phone and holds it up to record his laptop screen. “NO!” Jongin shrieks, and Kyungsoo only laughs. 

“Go, go, do it.” 

“Oh my god…” Jongin holds his hands up in a diamond shape, then snaps his teeth together playfully while curling his fingers into a heart. “AHHHH!” Jongin gets up and runs away to the sink to put his empty bowl into the basin as Kyungsoo bursts into laughter. 

“What was that?” Kyungsoo asks in between chuckles, lips forming that adorable heart when he laughs. Jongin slinks back upstairs while giggling and blushing. “Oh my gosh, so cute. You must do that in front of me sometime.” 

“Nononono. I’m only doing that once.” Jongin sits down in front of his laptop and props his phone up from his Korean textbook. “What are we watching?” 

“‘The Great Gatsby?’” 

“We read that in class.” Jongin’s nose scrunches up. “It just came out a few days ago, right?” 

“Yes. Here, I send you link.” 

“Okay,” Jongin’s still shirtless. “Er--should I put on a shirt, or--” 

“Definitely not.” 

“But then you won’t be able to focus on the movie, hyung.” 

“I will focus on it,” Kyungsoo promises even as his eyes rake down Jongin’s chest. “Wow…” 

“Wow what?” Jongin glances down self-consciously. 

“Nice view. That is all.” Kyungsoo starts the movie and much to Jongin’s surprise, the movie starts for him as well. 

“You control it?” Jongin asks, and Kyungsoo nods wordlessly. “We can watch it at the same time?” Another nod. “Why am I surprised?” 

“I do not know. You should expect this.” Kyungsoo hides a proud smile behind his hand. “Shall we?” Jongin unplugs his laptop to bring it to the bed and flops down on his stomach to get comfortable. 

\--

“Good?” Kyungsoo asks as the credits roll, and Jongin nods eagerly. 

“I really liked it. Wow… I have to process everything. That was…” 

“Yes. It was very good,” Kyungsoo agrees. “Different. Tie together well.” 

“Yes! In the beginning I didn’t think that the story was that deep. But then as it kept going, I got more and more into it. And there’s so much symbolism…” Jongin rubs his eyes. “Good choice, hyung. Did you understand it all, by the way?” 

“Yes, mostly. I understand much better--more--than speak English now. But I think… I be okay when I come back… I will talk a lot more.” 

“Ah, okay then.” Jongin sighs as he closes his laptop. “What now?” 

“I do not know. What do you want to do?” 

“Didn’t you wanna dance?” Jongin asks, and Kyungsoo shakes his head. 

“I do not want to dance. Will you? For me?” 

“But I wanna dance with youuuuuuu,” Jongin is nothing if not clingy. Kyungsoo laughs at Jongin’s pout. 

“Maybe I sing, you dance?” 

“YES!” Jongin claps his hands excitedly. “Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes.” 

“Okay… let me see… What song?” 

“SHINee!” 

“I know, baby. Give me a song.” Jongin shuffles through a list of SHINee’s discography in his mind. 

“Erm… Electric Heart?” 

“Okay. I need lyrics, one second.” Kyungsoo clears his throat. “Aaaa. Okay. Ready?” 

“Yes.” Jongin stands up and angles the view so that Kyungsoo can see him. “I’m just freestyling, okay?” 

“Yes.” Kyungsoo snaps his fingers to the catchy beat. When he begins singing, Jongin almost forgets to dance as Kyungsoo’s deep voice hits every note perfectly, even swaying a little to the rhythm. Jongin doesn’t bother hiding the huge smile as he jumps around his room, not caring so much about technique rather than just moving with whatever feels right. Kyungsoo tries to keep an eye on the lyrics, but he’d much rather watch Jongin’s improv, so in some parts, he simply hums the melody, occasionally adding in a few adlibs of his own. 

“It is nice to have a dancer boyfriend,” Kyungsoo smiles as they finish the song. 

“We hit different, don’t we?” Jongin body rolls cheekily, abs flexing with every movement. Kyungsoo laughs. 

“Yes. What next? I learn ‘Evil’ a while ago?”

“Okay,” Jongin agrees easily, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. “I love anything you sing, hyung.” 

“I will sing more if you like it.” Kyungsoo hits play and Jongin immediately starts nodding to the beat. 

_Evil, Evil, like a criminal in my mind_

_Evil, Evil, as if the terminator came_

_Evil, will I be able to endure this night?_

_Evil, Evil, a dream that is too cruel is born_

Jongin’s movements are sharp and precise for this song, and he finds himself even incorporating a snippet of choreography that he had previously fiddled with. Kyungsoo’s voice comes in strong and confident through the speakers, and Jongin decides that he makes the songs so much more special. 

“Ah, I’m so happy!” Jongin’s laughing breathlessly when the song ends. “Oh my gosh. This is so fun.” 

“Sit down,” Kyungsoo tells him as ‘Sleepless Night’ comes on, and Jongin obeys, swaying a little in his chair. Kyungsoo closes his eyes as he launches into the ballad. He sings not only with his voice, but with his _body,_ brows furrowed in concentration, leaning into the song, every breath dedicated to the words spilling out of his mouth, as if he lives through the lyrics. 

_I can’t leave_

_You are more precious than I am_

_Come back again_

_Tonight, yeah_

Jongin feels his throat close up when the last few notes leave Kyungsoo’s throat and waver in the air a little before Kyungsoo opens his eyes again and smiles tenderly at Jongin, who claps reverently. 

“So pretty, hyung. You’re a beautiful singer. I never knew you sang this well.” 

“Not that well,” Kyungsoo argues. “I do not know much.” 

“You said you learned a little when you were younger?” Jongin questions, and Kyungsoo shrugs. 

“It is… ah, what is it? Hobby. When I have nothing to do.” 

“It’s beautiful,” Jongin says quietly, cupping his cheek in his hand. “I could listen to your voice all day.” 

“I will lose voice then.” Jongin bursts into giggles at Kyungsoo’s playfulness. “What do you want to hear?” 

“‘Y Si Fuera Ella’, pleaseee.” Jongin bats his eyelashes and blows a kiss to Kyungsoo who only smiles, because truth be told, he’s a little overwhelmed at the moment. 

“O-of course, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo fumbles with the tracklist for a second. “ _What do I do with myself…”_ he mumbles under his breath. Jongin titters. 

“ _I understood that,”_ Jongin singsongs, and Kyungsoo glances up embarrassedly. 

“Ah… I only talk in Korean because I do not know how to say with English,” Kyungsoo explains before starting the song. Jongin just raises his eyebrows and smiles, humming along to the opening notes. 

“Reminds me of New York,” Jongin says softly in between verses, and Kyungsoo nods in agreement before launching into the chorus. “So beautiful,” Jongin whispers when Kyungsoo finishes. “I loved that.” 

“Thank you, baby.” Kyungsoo claps along with Jongin. “Love you. Thank you.” 

“I really want a hug now,” Jongin complains, and Kyungsoo holds his arms out. 

“Come to me,” Kyungsoo pleads. “I want to hold you.” 

“I wish…” Jongin wilts a little. “I really miss you, hyung. If I didn’t have Vegas Week, I would definitely come visit.” 

“I miss you, too.” Kyungsoo sighs heavily, drops his arms to fiddle with the hem of his shirt. “Just few more months. I am sorry for making you sad now.” 

“No, no! I’m not sad. This was so fun,” Jongin perks up. “I’m really happy. Thank you for doing this. I didn’t know virtual dates were a thing.” 

“Just want to make you happy.” Kyungsoo’s satisfied smile lights up Jongin’s world. “Am glad you enjoy.” 

“Isn’t it late for you?” Jongin glances at the clock. “It’s almost three for you, hyung.” 

“No, no. It is okay.” 

“But what about class tomorrow?” Jongin frets, and Kyungsoo shrugs. 

“No matter. I am not tired. You look so happy, makes me feel so…” Kyungsoo’s falters, at a loss of words. “ _I feel so lucky. My heart hurts when I look at you smiling like that. Like I did something good.”_ Jongin listens carefully and catches most of his words. 

“ _I know what you say.”_ Jongin laughs slightly. “I am really happy, hyung. I’m always happy when I’m with you.” 

“That is good for me, then.” 

“Perhaps.” Jongin smiles cheekily. “But you should go to bed--” 

“With you?” Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows and Jongin’s breath catches in his throat, catching onto the sudden shift in mood. 

“Er…” Jongin can feel his blush creeping up his neck again. “M-maybe?” 

“Pretty,” Kyungsoo murmurs for what must be the tenth time that night, and at this, Jongin glances down self-consciously at himself. 

“I lost a lot of weight,” Jongin pokes at his side and Kyungsoo’s mouth twists into a worried line. 

“You are… perfect. No matter to lose, gain weight.” 

“But I needed to lose it anyways.” 

“No. Never, Nini. You are handsome.” Kyungsoo reaches out towards his screen as Jongin looks back up with a shy little smile. If anything, it makes Kyungsoo’s gut tighten. “So pretty. _Wanna wreck you._ ” 

“Hmm?” 

“Ah--” Kyungsoo sighs as he makes his way to his bed and strips himself of his t-shirt. Jongin squeaks in surprise because, well, Kyungsoo is _thick._ His arms are nicely defined, exaggerated as he pulls his shirt over his head, and Jongin can even make out an outline of abs that disappears into grey sweatpants. When did his boyfriend get abs? Jongin gulps as an unwarranted image of Kyungsoo pinning him down easily enters his mind, kissing him senseless with that smirk still on his face, feeling his biceps flex under his fingers--

“Nini?” Kyungsoo’s voice is filled with fake concern, bordering on teasing. “Are you okay?” 

“Hgghhh--” 

“Should I…” Kyungsoo reaches for the discarded shirt, but Jongin holds a hand up to the screen and blinks a few times. 

“Hyung, when did you… get…” 

“Get?” 

“Like--” Jongin flaps his hands around helplessly, at a complete loss for words. “Big?” 

“Your English is worse than mine right now.” 

“Huh,” Jongin’s eyes are still fixated on Kyungsoo’s pecs. He’s so _sturdy_ now. Jongin feels an irrational urge to be crushed under Kyungsoo. “Oh, god…” 

“Like what you see?” 

“So much.” God, Jongin is drooling. He will drop to his knees in front of his phone any second now. “Hyung, you look so good… What the fuck… ” 

“I lose weight, too. Stress. And Junmyeon sometime drag me to gym.” Kyungsoo’s smirk is back. “I did not know you like it this much.” 

“I like… hyung…” Jongin is blushing now. “Er--” 

“Hmm? What do you want me to do to you?” Kyungsoo smiles coyly, leaning back against the pillows and propping a hand behind his head. His biceps flex and Jongin can only whimper a little at the sight. Since when was Kyungsoo so good at _modeling?_

“I--oh my god.” Jongin pats his flaming hot face. “Wow. Uh,” Jongin’s hand twitches instinctually towards his inflating dick. “Hyung.” 

“Yes.” Kyungsoo’s sweatpants do nothing to hide his very obvious erection and Kyungsoo almost flaunts his horniness, holding it over Jongin’s head like the tease he is. His hand trails down his own stomach, lightly dancing over the muscle before tracing the curve of a faint v-line and boldly circling the outline of his dick. Jongin gulps, feeling dizzy at the show that Kyungsoo’s putting on. He’s never done this before, where did he learn how to strip like this, how to play coy and bite his lip so unassumingly-- 

“There is a lot to learn about me,” Kyungsoo whispers, as if reading Jongin’s mind. “Come find out.”

“Oh--” Jongin’s fingers are fumbling with the waistband of his pajama pants. “I’m--I’m so hard.” 

“From this?” Kyungsoo inquires, although he looks unsurprised and very self-satisfied. “I have not done anything.” Jongin squawks in protest. 

“You… teasing… arms…” Kyungsoo flexes, as if proving Jongin’s point, then in one swift movement tugs both his sweatpants and underwear down to mid-thigh. His dick slaps against his lower abdomen, and Kyungsoo doesn’t even flinch as Jongin whimpers again in want. 

“Oh.” Jongin’s hand is twisted in the sheets to maintain some level headedness. 

“You want it?” Kyungsoo whispers, teasing both himself and Jongin with feather light touches to the tip of his cock, and Jongin nods furiously, turning even redder than before. “Show me how much you want hyung.” Jongin obeys mindlessly, shucking his pants and underwear to the side and immediately wrapping a hand around the base of his cock. Kyungsoo eyes the sight greedily; Jongin sitting in the middle of his sheets, jerking himself off dry, eyes wide and blown out, staring at Kyungsoo just as needily. 

“ _That’s so fucking gorgeous,”_ Jongin shivers in arousal. “ _Gonna make you cum so hard, baby._ ” Jongin moans as the words register. “ _You understand?”_ Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin nods, brown hair flopping over his forehead to hide his eyes. “I will talk in both, is okay?” Another nod. “ _Good boy,”_ Kyungsoo purrs, and Jongin decides he never wants to hear ‘good boy’ in anything except Kyungsoo’s throaty, slurred Korean ever again. “ _I wanna see Nini fuck himself for his hyung._ ” 

“I--” Jongin screws his brows together in frustration, but Kyungsoo slurs his words together and Jongin can only shake his head. 

“Fuck yourself for me,” Kyungsoo requests, and Jongin can only moan again in response as his hand passes over his frenulum. “Fuck. Pretty boy.” 

“Yes, hyung.” Jongin fumbles for his box of toys in his nightstand. “Er--which--” 

“What you like.” Jongin hesitates for a second before grabbing the larger of the two dildos. It’s been a wild night, might as well go all the way. Kyungsoo smirks when he sees Jongin’s choice. 

“Knew you would like it.” Jongin may as well explode into flames if he blushes anymore. 

“Don’t tease, okay? Just…” 

“ _I got you, sweetheart, don’t worry.”_ Kyungsoo’s tone is equal parts comforting and turned on. “ _Don’t be shy, hyung loves it when you’re like this._ ” 

“Ugh…” 

“I love you.” Kyungsoo smiles at him reassuringly and Jongin runs a hand through his hair shyly. “Are you okay?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay. Be careful, Nini.” Jongin nods, eyes fluttering shut in embarrassment as he slowly opens his legs and hears Kyungsoo’s heavy exhale of breath. 

“Get yourself ready, sweetheart.” Jongin flinches as the cold liquid drips down his fingers and around his hole, but moans as he fucks a single digit into himself. It’s been a while since they’ve done this. Jongin whimpers. 

“Hyung, m’so tight.” 

“I can tell, baby.” Kyungsoo wouldn’t look away from the screen for a million dollars. “Fuck yourself good, you deserve it.” 

“Hyung…” Jongin gasps when he adds another. “Lemme, lemme just--” Jongin turns around and presents his backside to the camera, earning another one of Kyungsoo’s low, husky moans when he slips three fingers into his clenching hole. 

“ _Holy fuck, I wanna fuck you so bad,”_ Kyungsoo’s voice is tight. “ _Wanna watch your hole stretch out around me, hear you moan, bet you want hyung’s thick cock, don’t you, sweetheart?”_

 _“Yes,”_ Jongin chokes out around his arousal. “Want it.” 

“Four fingers, baby, do not rush,” Kyungsoo whispers, forcing himself to slow down so he doesn’t cum just yet. But it’s torture to go slow, hearing Jongin’s moans filter in through his earbuds, the slick sound of lube as Jongin stretches himself on four fingers obediently. 

“F-feelsgood,” Jongin whines, purposely avoiding his prostate. “Hyung, I promise I’m ready, please, please--” 

“Go ahead,” Kyungsoo says automatically, probably because he can’t wait another second. “Let me see. You look gorgeous.”

“Kyungsoo--Soo--” Kyungsoo’s name is ripped from Jongin’s mouth as he slowly sinks down on the toy, thighs trembling with the effort of holding himself up as the stretch becomes unbearable. Kyungsoo moans again, low and deep, almost a rumble that comes from the inner depths of his chest. 

“Jesus Christ,” Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to articulate anything anymore. “Jongin. Jongin, oh my god.” The younger only keens in pleasure and pain when he bottoms out, panting heavily from the exertion and stimulation. Even the slightest movement presses the tip of the dildo against his prostate and Jongin lets out a constant stream of whimpers and moans. “Slowly,” Kyungsoo cautions as Jongin begins to bounce up and down subtly.   
“Soo, feels good, oh,” Jongin’s completely gone, head thrown back in bliss, a bead of sweat trickling down his temple and tracing the sharp curve of his jawline as he raises and lowers himself over and over again on the dildo. Kyungsoo’s hand speeds up, brushing over the sensitive tip with every pass as he breathes heavily into the microphone. 

“Fuck, Kyungsoo,” Jongin sobs as he gets the angle just right and hits his prostate. 

“ _Does that feel good, sweetheart? Thinking about riding hyung’s cock? You want that, don’t you? I wanna watch you ride me, watch you bounce on hyung’s thick cock until you can’t anymore. And then I’ll fuck you nice and easy, baby, make you feel so good.”_ Jongin can only moan in response, partly because he has no idea what Kyungsoo is saying anymore. All he can think about is how _good_ it feels to be stretched out and filled up, how dark Kyungsoo’s eyes get when he’s fucking him just like this, how dirty the words sound in Kyungsoo’s mouth. 

“Hyung, I’m gonna cum,” Jongin whimpers, wrapping a hand around his cock. “I’m gonna cum.” 

“Cum with me, Nini, I am close,” Kyungsoo pants. Jongin nearly sobs, clenching hard around the dildo as his cock jerks and spurts white all over his hand and lower stomach. Kyungsoo growls, squeezing his eyes shut and cumming to the sound of Jongin’s beautiful moans. Jongin gasps and trembles as he pulls himself off of the toy, his hole clenching desperately around nothing. 

“Kyungsoo…” 

“Jongin, shhh, shhh, you are okay, baby,” Kyungsoo soothes instinctually, desperately wishing he could pull Jongin close to his sweaty chest and hold him protectively. Jongin’s always needed a soft touch after sex. “Your little bear is right there, can you get it?” Jongin reaches with his clean hand and draws the teddy bear close to his chest, still curled up and whimpering as the post-orgasm haze clouds his mind. “There you go,” Kyungsoo says quietly, reaching for the tissues on his bedside table to clean himself up. “ _Good boy. Sweet Nini.”_

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin murmurs into the teddy bear. “I miss you.” 

“Miss you too, my Nini. Will be back soon,” Kyungsoo promises. “You are my baby.” 

“Yours,” Jongin nods listlessly. “Of course.” 

“Did you have fun today?” Kyungsoo asks softly, and Jongin nods again, looking up at his propped-up phone with bright eyes. “What are you plan--planning to do today?” 

“Dance practice,” Jongin murmurs. 

“Will you go out tonight?” 

“No. I can’t, I have to practice lots. Vegas Week is next week,” Jongin explains, and Kyungsoo wilts a little. “Why so sad, hyung?” 

“I like it when you dress up and send me picture.” Jongin giggles. 

“I have lots that I didn’t send you. And other… pictures…” Something about Jongin’s suggestive tone makes Kyungsoo twitch in interest. 

“ _You take nudes?”_ Kyungsoo asks, then realizes Jongin would have no idea what he’s saying. “Ugh… I don’t know…” 

“I take nudes and then get shy, so I don’t send them,” Jongin explains, seeming to get what Kyungsoo is getting at. “D’you wanna see them?” 

“Is that a question?” Kyungsoo scoffs. If he hadn’t just cum a few minutes ago, he definitely would’ve been hard again just from the thought of Jongin posing naked, snapping erotica of himself. 

“Maybe I’ll send them one day,” Jongin smiles mysteriously. “They’re pretty good, if I do say so myself.” 

“ _Better not let Baekhyun see them.”_

“What?” 

“Do not let Baekhyun see,” Kyungsoo smirks, and Jongin’s face is horrified at just the thought. 

“Oh my god, that would be a disaster. Hell no.” 

“No,” Kyungsoo agrees. “Definitely not.” They’re silent for a moment longer until Jongin shifts uncomfortably. 

“Gonna go clean up, hyung.” 

“Okay.” Kyungsoo hides a yawn behind his hand as Jongin disappears from the frame. He rubs his eyes and glances at the clock. 3:40 am. Kyungsoo sighs quietly at the idea of having to wake up in only three hours for class. Not to mention he has to meet Junmyeon tomorrow to discuss Jikdo, and then he was planning on tweaking his thesis with his professor as well… 

“I’m back,” Jongin flops down on the bed, wearing boxers and an oversized t-shirt. “I gotta go to practice soon, hyung. And it’s so late for you.” 

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says quietly. “Go to practice, sweetheart. I love you.” 

“Today was fun,” Jongin’s smile wakes Kyungsoo up faster than a cup of coffee. “I had so much fun, hyung. You’re the best.” 

“You are,” Kyungsoo tells him just to watch Jongin scrunch his nose up in embarrassment. 

“Cheesy.” 

“Beautiful,” Kyungsoo tells him, laughing a little at Jongin’s squeamish look because of all the greasy compliments. “Pretty. Handsome. Hot. Sexy. Cute--” 

“Hyunggg--” 

“Mine,” Kyungsoo finishes, breaking into a smile. “Do that heart thing.” 

“I said I was only gonna do it once!” Jongin exclaims, even as he hesitantly brings his hands up in front of him. 

“Do it, it is so cute.” 

“Nom.” Jongin reluctantly does it and promptly buries his face into his teddy bear as Kyungsoo claps his hands and dies of laughter. 

“Cute. So cute. Okay--” Kyungsoo rubs a hand across his face and suddenly the dark circles under his eyes come into view. “I am going to sleep.” 

“Yes, do that, hyung. Don’t stay up so late for me, I can stay up late now, okay? Take care of yourself.” Jongin’s brows furrow. “Good luck with your schedule.” 

“I will.” Kyungsoo smiles. “Good night, Nini. My star.” 

“Good night, hyung. I love you!” Jongin waves and Kyungsoo blows a small kiss at him before cutting the connection. 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!!  
> Kyungsoo's so cute >< SeHui, SeDae, or SeBellPepper?  
> I love you guys! Thank you for your support as always.  
> Nom <3


	9. VEGAS BOI

“OUR VEGAS BOY IS HERE!” Baekhyun screeches at his usual decibel level that causes Jongin to wince just slightly as he gingerly toes his shoes off and walks into Baekhyun’s apartment. 

“Vegas boy,” Chanyeol choruses from under Baekhyun, one hand creeping up Baekhyun’s shirt, the other one keeping a firm hand on Baekhyun’s wrist so that it doesn’t wander anywhere  _ too  _ precarious. “Welcome, welcome.” 

“Thanks, guys,” Jongin murmurs, glancing down at the floor shyly. “Baekhyun, are you feeling better? How’s your cold?” 

“All gone, thank you, darling.” Baekhyun throws him a thumbs up. Jongin nods, then looks up in surprise as Sehun presents him with a  _ massive  _ bouquet of flowers. Jongin can barely peek over the blossoms as it gets shoved into his hands. “Oh, wow! These are so pretty… You didn’t have to…” 

“I didn’t buy them.” Sehun turns back to his fettuccine alfredo. “Look at the card.” 

“Where is it?” Jongin chuckles, carefully shifting through the petals and leaves until he extracts an envelope. 

_ Dear Nini,  _

_ Good luck, my little shining star. Love you so much. Hope that you like the flowers--I order them online and ask Sehun to pick them up for you. Miss you a lot. I will be back soon. Remember my promises and be a good boy for your boyfriend. Call me soon. Kisses from Korea.  _

_ Your Ksoo _

“Aw, hyung…” Jongin fake-sniffles as he tucks the typed message back into the envelope and gently sets the flowers down on the coffee table before occupying the small armchair, which unfortunately gives him a perfect view of Baekhyun locking lips with Chanyeol. Jongin sighs and cranes around to see Sehun with a picture of concentration on his face as he pours sauce over his pasta. “Wish Jongdae-hyung was here to keep me company,” Jongin murmurs, fumbling with his phone to text Kyungsoo a thank-you. 

“I hope you don’t mind, Jong, I took the liberty of inviting Hui,” Sehun says over the sizzle of his cooking, and while Jongin doesn’t mind, he’s more so slightly surprised. 

“That’s fine, Sehunnie. The more the merrier. Wait, so does he know that I’m--” 

“He watched the episode, so yeah...” Jongin sighs and chuckles a little.

“Alright, then.” 

“I also invited Minseok-hyung.” 

“Oh?” Jongin looks up eagerly. “What’d he say?” 

“He said he would try and make it after his shift. I told him not to worry if he couldn’t though,” Sehun tacks on as Jongin opens his mouth to protest. Jongin nods. 

“We really didn’t have to celebrate,” Jongin begins, but Baekhyun actually  _ pulls away  _ from eating face to jab at Jongin. 

“Stop being so humble. You went from a crusty lil dancer to drop-dead gorgeous, honorary SHINee fanboy ambassador Kim Kai in like, what, three months? Of course we’re gonna celebrate. Our baby’s gonna be on TV.” 

“Don’t forget about us when you’re famous,” Chanyeol adds. “You gotta remember all the milkshakes I paid for when you’re somewhere shaking hands with Lee Taemin.” 

“Don’t get my hopes up,” Jongin rolls his eyes. “It’s just Vegas Week. I’m not gonna advance.” 

“Not with that attitude you won’t,” Baekhyun makes an uncanny impression of Jongin’s mother. 

“I’ve been watching all the audition episodes and trying to glean who I’m gonna see there,” Jongin murmurs. “They’re all SO good, so much better than me… There’s even a girl who does classic Mongolian, I forgot her name but I wanna meet her.” 

“How does everything work there?” Chanyeol inquires. “Like, what do you even do for a week?” 

“When we get there, we have to perform right away. So you can actually get sent home even before you start bootcamp,” Jongin explains, feeling a knot start to twist in his stomach at just the thought of Vegas Week. Baekhyun does a double take. 

“Wait. You perform--like--” 

“Pretty much right when we walk into the door, yup. And the judges tell you whether they want you to stay or leave.” 

“So they drag you  _ all the way  _ to Las Vegas only to send you  _ right back home _ ?” Baekhyun’s jaw drops. “What a waste of production money.” 

“We’re filming a reality show here, Baek. They’ve gotta keep up the suspense.” Jongin gets up to grab a glass of water. “I think I’ll pass…” Jongin murmurs. “I’m not too worried about that because I can play to my strengths.” 

“What are you worried about?” Sehun asks. 

“Shitty partners during choreography and things that I’m not good at. Ballroom, for one. And I’m trying to decide what my persona should be for the show…” 

“Just be you,” Baekhyun snorts at this. “Laugh when you have to and cry when you feel like it.” 

“Sometimes they’ll send you home if you’re too boring for the show, though,” Jongin argues. “It’s showbiz, it’s not just like I can hone in on my dance and just forget about everything else.” 

“They won’t send you home. You’re hot,” Baekhyun dismisses the thought. “They won’t be able to get enough of you.” 

“Facts,” Sehun nods just as the doorbell rings. “Jongin, watch the sauce, I’ll get the door.” 

“Wait, I don’t know--” 

“Just a second!” Sehun runs to the door. “Hey. You made it,” He leans down to accept Hui’s greedy kiss. “Later,” Sehun promises, tracing two fingers down Hui’s temple. “I’ll give you all of that and more.” 

“Sounds good,” Hui leaves a parting kiss on Sehun’s jawline as Sehun shuffles back to the sauce where Jongin hovers nervously. 

“Look at that, it’s not burned. Fantastic job, chef.” 

“Hey! I saw your audition! Holy shit, dude, you’re absolutely  _ amazing.  _ How do you even get in some of those positions?” Hui’s off on a roll the second he spots Jongin. “Congratulations for making callbacks!” 

“Thanks!” Jongin smiles brightly at the genuine compliments. “And thanks for coming, I know we don’t know each other that well…” 

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I love socializing. How long have you been dancing?” 

“About 11 years now. Since I was 8.” Jongin lowers his eyes modestly. 

“Damn, no wonder you’re so good. That’s some talent you have. Are you excited for Las Vegas, though? That’ll be so fun, I’ve always wanted to go to Vegas. I can’t believe you get to go for such an incredible opportunity. Oh!” Hui turns to Baekhyun. “Dude, this is your place, right?” 

“Mah HOUSE!” Baekhyun grins, eager to finally have someone that matches up to his energy level. 

“Could I get a piece of paper and a pen? I just… could I get your autograph?” Hui looks up at Jongin hopefully. “Before you get  _ too  _ famous. I wanna tell everyone that Kim Kai hit on me once. Or Jongin? Which do you prefer?” 

“Either is fine,” Jongin feels his face heat up as Baekhyun bursts into hearty laughter, passing over a pen and a piece of notebook paper. Jongin quickly scribbles his signature and hands it to the boy, who looks absolutely delighted. 

“Thank you so much. I’ll probably call you Jongin then, if that’s okay with you?” 

“Yeah, sure.” Jongin turns around in surprise as two more pieces of paper are laid in front of him. “Um? What is this?” 

“You’ll give Hui an autograph but not your favorite couple? I was even gonna ask you to be best man.” 

“Wait best--WAIT WHAT?” Jongin forgets completely about the autographs as he grabs Baekhyun’s shoulders and shakes him furiously. “WHEN? WHEN’S THE WEDDING?” 

“NOT SOON!” Baekhyun screeches back equally loud, shoving the blank papers in front of Jongin’s face. “JUST SIGN THE DIVORCE PAPERS!” 

“Am I really best man?” Jongin steps back, slightly disappointed. 

“You’re my club boyfriend, of course you are.” Baekhyun’s tone is final and Jongin giggles as he scribbles down two more signatures for Baekhyun and Chanyeol. “One more,” Baekhyun demands. “For Sehunnie.” 

“Sehunnie doesn’t want my signature, he has my number and my sweaty clothes--” 

“I absolutely want your signature,” Sehun says from the kitchen, and Jongin obediently signs the paper. “Thanks! Now I can forge your bank notes.” 

“Forensics majors,” Jongin grumbles, making his way back to the armchair as Hui slinks into the kitchen to attack Sehun from behind. “Well, this solved approximately zero problems,” Jongin announces while Baekhyun slithers right back into Chanyeol’s lap. 

“Nah, I’ll keep you company!” Hui bounces into the living room and perches on the armrest of the couch. 

“You can sit on the couch, it’s not poisonous,” Baekhyun breaks off from Chanyeol’s lips to look up at Hui. 

“I’m good, I can’t keep still.” 

“He can’t,” Sehun calls from the kitchen. “Like during sex, he wriggles all over the place--” 

“EW! SEHUN!” Jongin gags. “Don’t be Baekhyun, I really don’t need to know.” Hui looks unabashed as he jiggles his leg. 

“He learns from the best,” Baekhyun says proudly, curling into Chanyeol’s arm around his shoulders. “Hey kid, is he really as big as--” 

“Dis-gus-ting,” Jongin emphasizes every syllable of the word. “Hui, don’t answer that.” 

“But I have to knowwww,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Like, Chanyeollie’s big, but Sehun brags so much every time I bring the subject up, so--” The doorbell rings again. This time Jongin sprints to the door and promptly flings his arms around Minseok. 

“Help,” Jongin pleads, grasping Minseok’s shoulders. “They’re so horny, I’m going to puke.” 

“That’s human nature for you,” comes Minseok’s scholarly reply. “Sounds like you’re having a nice time, though!” 

“Hello, Minseok-sunbae,” Sehun waves from the kitchen as Jongin pulls Minseok into the small apartment. “Good to see you could make it.” 

“Yes, of course. Oh, is this--” 

“M’friend, Hui.” 

“Good to meet you,” Minseok shakes hands very cordially while Jongin looks around the apartment. 

“Wait, where did Baek and Chan--” 

“Don’t finish that question,” Hui chirps, still unperturbed as ever. “I’d assume you wouldn’t want to know.” 

“No.” Jongin’s face goes slack with horror as he slumps into the couch and Minseok grips the back of the armchair, bent over with laughter. “They did  _ not.”  _

“At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what they’re doing,” Hui shrugs. “You gotta do what you gotta do, amiright?” 

“I am so, so sorry,” Jongin apologizes to Minseok. “Baekhyun is the  _ worst  _ host in the world, I’m so sorry you came.” 

“I guess I should’ve taken your word for it,” Minseok flops into the armchair that Jongin previously resided in, still curled over in hysterics. 

\--

“We shouldn’t,” Chanyeol mumbles even as Baekhyun shuts the door to their bedroom and locks it. “Baek, sweetheart--” 

“Please, I need you so bad,” Baekhyun whimpers into Chanyeol’s neck, one small hand already making its way into Chanyeol’s jeans. “Please, Yeollie, you’re hard, too. Let me take care of you.” 

“This is so rude, Baek, it’s your apartment,” Chanyeol pants quietly into the top of the younger’s hair as Baekhyun passes firm strokes over his cock. “Oh, shit…” 

“Does that feel good?” Baekhyun whispers in Chanyeol’s ear, then proceeding to nibble along his earlobe. “Touch me, Yeollie.” A hand directs Chanyeol’s shaking one to Baekhyun’s bulge. “We’ll be quick.” 

“Oh…” Chanyeol lets out a breathless sigh when he feels how rock-hard Baekhyun is, just from imagining the things Chanyeol could’ve been doing to him. “Baby, you must’ve been uncomfortable.” 

“I was. I am,” Baekhyun’s circling his hips, grinding almost desperately into Chanyeol’s palm. “Please, Yeollie, fuck me. I’ll cum so fast on your cock, make you feel so good,” 

“Shhh,” Chanyeol presses a finger against Baekhyun’s lips and feels his cock twitch when he meets Baekhyun’s desperate eyes and the lust written all over his face for his fiance. “Oh, you’re just gone already,” Chanyeol murmurs, fumbling to undo Baekhyun’s belt. “You can’t even think about anything else, can you, Baekkie?” 

“No,” Baekhyun sighs in relief when Chanyeol finally pulls his underwear down and his aching cock springs up out of the fabric constraints. “Touch m-me--” his stuttered request turns into something between a soft moan and a cough as Chanyeol wraps his hand around Baekhyun’s cock and pulls upward firmly. 

“You gotta be quiet when I’m fucking you,” Chanyeol whispers, still stroking Baekhyun who’s cradled in his lap, letting out the tiniest of mewls into Chanyeol’s neck. “Lube--” 

“Hurry,” Baekhyun crawls out of Chanyeol’s lap and reaches for the half-empty bottle of lube. “I need your cock in me.” 

“Jesus Christ,” Chanyeol whispers, lining himself up against Baekhyun’s entrance. Both of them are standing up and Chanyeol circles his arm securely around Baekhyun’s waist to keep his back pressed flush against Chanyeol’s chest. Chanyeol’s cock is snug between Baekhyun’s buttcheeks and Baekhyun is panting heavily in anticipation, rutting back against his fiance’s cock, feeling it rub against his hole. 

“Put it in, please,” Baekhyun will sob if Chanyeol teases anymore; wasn’t this supposed to be a quickie? Chanyeol had been  _ so  _ gentle and patient with him these past few days, taking care of Baekhyun while he was sick, but now Baekhyun’s ready to get pounded into oblivion. 

“You must be feeling better,” Chanyeol murmurs as he slowly pushes in and Baekhyun can’t help the whine that claws its way up from the back of his throat. “You can’t stop talking today.” 

“Y- _ es _ ,” Baekhyun keens when Chanyeol’s hand under Baekhyun’s shirt starts to pinch and roll a nipple. “Move. Fuck me, Yeol--” Chanyeol claps a hand to Baekhyun’s mouth as he begins thrusting. 

“So tight, so wet,” Chanyeol’s other hand snakes around Baekhyun’s waist and grips his hip tightly. “Baby, you’re  _ so  _ tight,” Chanyeol’s breathing is already ragged. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun can barely breathe when Chanyeol takes him from behind, fucking into him fast and hard with only the endgoal in mind. His moans threaten to spill out of his mouth and he heaves for air, letting his head drop and eyes slide shut with how  _ good  _ it feels. Nothing is better than this; being pressed back against Chanyeol, the thrill of fucking when they shouldn’t be and everyone knowing what they’re doing, and Chanyeol’s hot breath on his neck, occasionally sneaking in a gentle kiss in Baekhyun’s hair, contrary to his pistoning hips that nail Baekhyun’s prostate expertly. 

“Do you want me to cum inside or pull out?” Chanyeol’s voice is raspy. Baekhyun can only gulp and shake his head desperately. If he tries to speak, he’ll definitely scream. 

“Oh, Baekkie,” Chanyeol chuckles lowly. “You’re so sensitive today.” Whenever Baekhyun gives up the ‘power’ part of “power bottom”, Chanyeol always slips back into his topping role effortlessly, holding Baekhyun up with strong arms, fucking into him with that reckless abandon even though he wasn’t so convinced of the idea mere minutes ago. “I can feel you clenching around me,” Chanyeol hisses, and his thrusts get more and more sloppy. “You gonna cum, Baek? Cum with my cock in you?” And with that, Baekhyun lets out a strangled groan into Chanyeol’s hand as he cums untouched, pulling up his shirt just in the nick of time. “Aw, good boy,” Chanyeol praises, pressing more kisses to Baekhyun’s shaking figure. “I’m close, too, but you still haven’t told me what you want, sweetheart.” 

“C-cum inside me,” Baekhyun’s voice is absolutely wrecked, and it sends Chanyeol over the edge, pulsing spurts of white cum into Baekhyun’s hole with a low grunt. “Fill me up,” Baekhyun whispers, legs shaking with the effort of holding himself up. “I wanna feel your cum in me when we go back.” 

“Oh,” Chanyeol gasps. “Baekkie, you want a plug?” 

“Yes,” Baekhyun’s breathless with exertion, and Chanyeol pulls out slowly when he comes down from his climax. 

“Relax,” Chanyeol whispers as he lubes up a butt plug and gently works it into Baekhyun’s hole. “Beautiful,” he murmurs, tapping the small green gem in between Baekhyun’s butt cheeks, making him twitch in sensitivity. “I’ll take care of you after the party, okay?” Baekhyun shivers in anticipation and turns around as Chanyeol stands up to catch him in a heated kiss. 

“I’m so in love with you,” Baekhyun murmurs to Chanyeol, staring up at him with eyes that are full of warmth and life. “Do I really get to spend the rest of my life with you?” 

“Yes,” Chanyeol whispers, framing Baekhyun’s glowing face in either of his hands. “You’re my Park Baekhyun.” Baekhyun’s lips part slightly at being called by Chanyeol’s last name, and his eyes look a little dewy. “Don’t cry, Baek,” Chanyeol smiles a little and presses one last, lingering kiss to Baekhyun’s soft lips. “Let’s go back to the party. Make sure you apologize.” At this, Baekhyun wipes away his unshed tears and immediately shoots Chanyeol a devilish grin, wrapping his left hand in Chanyeol’s right one. 

“I will not.” 

\--

Jongin resolutely looks at his bowl of noodles when Baekhyun wanders back into the living room, whistling a happy tune. At least Chanyeol has the sense to look slightly ashamed, but it’s more so in a “my-significant-other-calls-the-shots-and-I-just-follow” sort of way, not an actual look of shame. Minseok closes his eyes briefly and looks up to the ceiling, biting his lip in order to conceal his laughter. Sehun only snorts and motions to the kitchen. 

“Food’s ready, help yourself.” 

“Thanks, Sehunnie,” Baekhyun coos with too much sweetness in his voice, and Sehun rolls his eyes, resuming his absentminded stroking of Hui’s hair. The younger is sitting in his lap and slurping noodles. 

“Your cooking is so good,” he mumbles, and Sehun nods briefly in acceptance of the compliment. “Do you cook at all the hangouts that you guys do?” 

“Usually. I don’t mind.” 

“You gotta invite me to some more of these, then.” 

“Like I don’t invite you over enough.” Sehun laughs shortly. Jongin’s mouth works furiously as Baekhyun plops down onto the couch and winces just slightly, then begins eating as if nothing happened. Jongin’s ready to burst into complaints until Sehun does it first. 

“Slut.” 

“Okay, okay,” the room comes alive with laughter and shouting as Minseok explodes and Hui does, too, clutching Sehun’s arm desperately. The bowl of pasta tips dangerously and Sehun catches it; leaning forward to set it on the coffee table. Baekhyun begins bellowing over the din of noise to defend his and Chanyeol’s dignity. 

“DISGUSTING,” Jongin screeches, throwing his fork down, “Just don’t invite people over if all you’re gonna do is bang him,” Baekhyun ignores him in favor of attacking Sehun.

“Oh Sehun, don’t call me a slut when you sleep with a different dick  _ every other night.  _ You let Hui call you  _ DADDY--”  _

_ “A _ re you kink-shaming?” Sehun retorts, a smirk set on his face, one hand securely wrapped around Hui’s waist to keep him in his lap. Hui looks remarkably unfloored, still caught up in laughter. 

“I’m not kink-shaming. You can be as kinky as you want--but you can’t have a daddy kink,” Baekhyun declares, sinking back into the couch cushions and Chanyeol’s shoulder. Minseok claps his hands hysterically. 

“THAT’S KINK SHAMING!” Sehun raises his voice and Baekhyun does, too. 

“At least I’m loyal to one guy--” 

“YOU have sex when we’re trying to throw a party for  _ him _ !” Sehun jabs a finger to Jongin, who sits on the loveseat, still looking thoroughly disgruntled.

“I don’t really care if it’s about me or not--” Jongin begins, but Sehun shushes him. 

“This happened that time we slept over, too! This is exactly why I refuse to crash when you and Chanyeol are together,” Sehun glares at Baekhyun and if Jongin didn’t know him well enough to catch the glimmer of amusement in his eyes, he would’ve been thoroughly intimidated, “because you are a SLUT! You’re SO horny!” 

“Every single one of you is probably just as hot for someone,” Baekhyun snorts. “Kai over there, don’t look so disgusted, you--” 

“Don’t drag him into this, he’s the most vanilla person ever and you know it,” Sehun interrupts before Baekhyun can continue. “Look at him, he only does missionary.” 

“Kai, are you just gonna let Sehun insult you like that? Do you consider yourself vanilla?” Baekhyun demands, and suddenly all Jongin can think of are the three lace panties and lingerie sets hidden in the deep recesses of his closet, as well as the dildos and butt plug safely stored in a shoebox in his nightstand drawer, buried under a stack of old textbooks. 

“Uhhhh’NNNNN--” 

“See? Vanilla as shit.” Sehun turns away. “Don’t lie to yourself, Pa--Byun Baekhyun, you’re the sluttiest they come.” 

“Did you almost call me Park Baekhyun?” Baekhyun demands, and Sehun’s lips tighten into a line. 

“You two act like you’re already married,” Hui offers from atop Sehun’s lap, and suddenly Baekhyun is back to fluttering his eyelashes at Chanyeol, exchanging a look that the rest of the room can’t read. 

“Diiiiissssgusting.” Jongin fake-wretches. “Disgusting.” 

“Did you even hear anything?” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Stop being so dramatic.” 

“Thank  _ fuck  _ I heard nothing,” Jongin balks at just the thought. “Minseok-hyung, I’m  _ so  _ sorry, your impression of them must be flawless.” 

“I don’t judge,” Minseok holds his hands up, although his eyes are still crinkled at the corners. “I just think it’s so funny that Soo hangs out with you all. I can’t even imagine it.” 

“I’m going to call him and tell him what you did, Yeollie,” Jongin’s frown is still adorable. “He’s never gonna talk to you again.” 

“BET. Call him now,” Chanyeol encourages, and Jongin does so. 

“HYUNGGGGG,” Jongin whines when Kyungsoo picks up. “I’M SO DISGUSTED!” 

“What happen?” Kyungsoo’s voice is laced with amusement at Jongin’s tone. “Good morning, baby.” 

“It’s nighttime here, but whatever. Good morning. I’m at Baek’s house for the send-off,” Jongin sighs. 

“Go on.” 

“And when I went to greet Minseok-hyung--” Jongin breaks off again as Baekhyun cackles loudly. “When I went to greet him, Baek and Yeol went and--” 

“It was a good fuck!” Baekhyun calls, and Jongin groans again. 

“Hyung, pick me up, take me to Korea, I don’t wanna be here,” Jongin begs. “Save meeeee.” 

“Why you call me? Are you jealous?” Kyungsoo’s teasing sends Baekhyun into an absolute fit and Chanyeol wheezes at Jongin’s expression. Sehun hides his smile in Hui’s shirt. 

“Is that your boyfriend?” Hui asks, and Jongin nods, a pout still on his face. 

“Who is that?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“It’s Hui,” Jongin explains, and Kyungsoo hums in understanding. 

“Wait, how does he know about me?” Hui’s head jerks up in confusion. 

“They’re two halves of the same person,” Baekhyun explains before Jongin can, and Sehun nods in resigned agreement. “I guarantee you if you tell Chanyeol something, I’ll know about it in three minutes as well, and vice versa. That’s what you get when you tell couples anything.” 

“But that’s only if you’re pretty much married,” Minseok adds, and at this, Jongin turns beet red. 

“We’re not marri--” 

“You act like it.” Baekhyun snorts. “He buys you kpop albums. Pictures of men who are hotter than him. If he has the confidence to do that, then that’s husband material right there.” 

“H-Hyung?” Jongin’s voice comes out as a squeak. 

“I am still here, Nini.” If anything, Kyungsoo sounds even more amused than before. 

“Did you hear all of that?” 

“Yes. What? You want more albums?” 

“That’s a trick question,” Jongin complains. “You know I like them but if I say yes--” 

“So you  _ are  _ married,” Minseok teases, and Kyungsoo’s laugh rings out over the speaker. “Kyungsoo seems happy about this.” 

“It sound like fun. Wish I could be there,” Kyungsoo chuckles. 

“Soo!” Baekhyun calls. 

“What, Baek?” 

“Is your sex life vanilla?” 

“Vanilla?” Kyungsoo’s confused. 

Baekhyun swallows back a laugh and switches to Korean to repeat the question. “There’s nothing wrong with vanilla sex,” Minseok points out, but Baekhyun shushes him as he waits to hear Kyungsoo’s answer. 

“Is it too boring, Nini?” Kyungsoo’s voice is all-too-knowing for Jongin to bear, and he can only open and close his mouth like a fish gasping for air. “Should we do something  _ different?”  _

“Kyungsoo, please,” Jongin says quietly, and Kyungsoo’s chuckle is almost too much for Jongin. 

“I will think of something, then.” 

“Oh my god, see!” Baekhyun is gleeful when he turns to Sehun. “I TOLD you they weren’t vanilla.” 

“He’s still less of a slut than you.” Jongin stands up when the bickering becomes too much in hopes of finding somewhere quiet to talk to Kyungsoo.

“Babe…” Jongin’s voice is quiet as he pads out of the living room and into the front foyer where it’s quieter. “It’s just me, now.” 

“Hey, Nini. You okay?” Kyungsoo’s voice turns calmer, more soothing, as if he’s checking in with Jongin to make sure that his teasing within the group didn’t go too far. “Ah? Did you just call me babe?” 

“I-Is that okay?” Jongin stutters, feeling a blush creep up his face. “Because you always call me pet names, and it just slipped out--”

“Oh my gosh, I like it. So cute when you say it.” Kyungsoo’s voice betrays just how much he likes the pet name. “ _ Oh _ ,  _ I’m gonna go insane…”  _ He mutters under his breath before clearing his throat. Jongin remains silent until Kyungsoo switches back to English. “Are you doing well?” 

“Yeah, I guess I’m having fun, even if it’s loud and I’m a little lonely and Baek is disgusting.” Jongin laughs along with Kyungsoo. “I miss you,” he tells Kyungsoo. “It feels like leaving for Vegas Week is only going to push us further apart.” 

“It won’t,” Kyungsoo soothes him. “It is only for a week.” 

“Kyungsoo, did you know that we have to perform the second we get there? I might get sent home the moment I arrive. I’d be so embarrassed, I don’t even know how to explain that to everyone.” Jongin’s voice cracks. “And the judges are so harsh. I don’t know how to act, I’ve never filmed before, and all the dancers look so good in the audition episodes that I watched, and--”

“Hey, hey hey hey.  _ Calm down. It’ll be alright, sweetheart. _ ” Kyungsoo’s Korean washes over Jongin like a wave. “Too much. One step at a time. It is a show, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Then you do not need to explain yourself to me, or to parents, or to friends. Not matter how far you go. You do your best there and we support you. Worry about our feeling is… not important. Okay? This all about you.” 

“Okay,” Jongin’s already beginning to feel more at ease. He’d almost forgotten how steady and confident Kyungsoo was when doling out advice to him. 

“And other dancer do their thing, you do yours. You need remember that they are maybe scared of you, too. You are special, they are special. Learn from each other. It is not all competition, everybody scared.” 

“You’re right, Soo.” 

“Yes. Also, what you worry about?” 

“What if the judges--” 

“Ah, right. Judges are acting, sweetheart. Everybody acting. But they give good feedback and you follow. Besides, your teacher and coach very strict as well. It is not like you cannot handle a little yelling. You more strict with yourself than those judges. I know you. You will fit in perfect. I think you will have lots of fun, learn new thing. Does not matter if you pass or not. Just give you, ah, what is it? Like a stage. To show off. You know?” 

“What would I do without you?” Jongin asks, feeling as if a majority of the weight of his worries has been lifted clear off his chest with just a few sentences of his boyfriend’s broken English. “Soo-hyung…” 

“It is nothing. I love you so much, so proud of you. Want you to have fun and maybe you will not feel so lonely there either. They are all people who love dance, like you.” 

“Yeah,” Jongin’s beginning to get excited, “Yeah, hyung. I’ll do my best, you know I will. And I’ve worked really hard--” 

“Yes, you have.” 

“You’ll still call me, right?” Jongin asks. 

“You may not have time. Why not you call me when you can? I leave you texts, okay? And you just focus on schedule first, then me.” Kyungsoo’s voice is so warm, so understanding, that Jongin’s chest fills with emotion and he has to hold back tears. 

“Kyungsoo.” 

Kyungsoo bursts into laughter. “You keep calling my name, they are going to think we are talk about something verrryyy different.” 

“Oh my god.” Jongin just barely catches himself from saying ‘hyung’ again and rolls his eyes. “Stop that, they’re so gross. Except for Minseok-hyung. He’s nice.” 

“Yes, he is a good person,” Kyungsoo agrees. “But your friends are, too. You lucky to have them. Did you get my flowers?” 

“Yes!” Jongin perks up. “Thank you so much, Soo. It’s so big, I can barely carry it and see where I’m going. But they’re so pretty…” 

“You like flowers?” Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin’s face splits into a wide smile. 

“I love them.” 

“Oh.” Kyungsoo sounds somewhat surprised. “I buy them for you, but I did not know you like them so much.” 

“They’re so pretty and they make the room brighter. It makes me feel special when I receive flowers.” 

“You are special,” Kyungsoo tells him. “So special.” 

“I can’t decide if that’s cheesy or sweet.” 

“Little bit of both,” Kyungsoo suggests, and Jongin murmurs agreement. “Go back to your friends now?” 

“I should,” Jongin says, reluctant to hang up. “I guess I can call you when I get back home…” 

“Sure, Nini. Whenever you have time, call me. I am always happy to receive it.” 

“Yes, Kyungsoo.” Jongin sighs. “Okay. I’ll text you, then.” 

“Okay. Love you, sweetheart.” 

“Love you, too. Bye… babe.”

“Oh my god.” Kyungsoo’s going to have a heart attack. “That is so cute.”  _ He calls people ‘babe’,  _ Kyungsoo thinks, squeezing his eyes shut.  _ Jongin’s a ‘babe’ user.  _ He’s going to collapse at any moment.

“It… I don’t know.” Jongin laughs nervously and rearranges his bangs in front of his face. “I like calling you hyung… but ‘babe’ is so natural.” 

“Feel free, Nini. Hyung is more formal, not for boyfriend in Korea. But for you, it slightly different, almost like pet name, right?” 

“Yes,” Jongin agrees shyly. 

“So I am okay with it. But I also like whatever you call me. As long as you call me.” 

“Cheesy alert, Soo.” Kyungsoo laughs and finally pulls his scattered brain cells back together to say one final goodbye.

“Talk later, sweetheart.” 

“Mmkayy.” Jongin hangs up and shuffles back into the living room. 

“Back from rubbing one out?” Baekhyun asks, and Jongin slaps him on the way back to his seat playfully. 

“My boyfriend’s so much better than yours,” he tells Baekhyun, crossing one leg over the other. “He sends me flowers and gives me the best advice. And Kyungsoo is so sweet and thoughtful, he’s so respectful and he's an amazing cook--” 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all. And we don’t need to compare boyfriends, I have a  _ fiance. _ ” Chanyeol smiles at this and slips his hand down to Baekhyun’s butt. Baekhyun yelps suddenly and Jongin turns to look at him questioningly, but luckily for Baekhyun, Hui’s already moving on. 

“Minseok? Do you have a girlfriend?” Minseok looks surprised at the sudden question. 

“No, I don’t. I’m very busy, and it’s not my priority,” Minseok answers evenly. “But you and Kyungsoo are very cute together, Jongin. I think I told you that the first time I met you.” 

“You did,” Jongin says shyly. 

“What about us?” Baekhyun asks, and Sehun snorts with derisive laughter as Minseok turns his attention to them. 

“You’re not cute so much as dumbasses.” 

“Shush, let Minseok speak.” 

Minseok shrugs. “That ring on your finger speaks volumes, Baekhyun. And the way Chanyeol treats you; almost to the point of spoiled.” 

“You are spoiled,” Chanyeol tells Baekhyun, caressing his hair. “I pamper you too much, he’s right.” 

“Keep doing it,” Baekhyun smiles up at Chanyeol, and judging by his helpless, love-struck expression, Chanyeol has no plans to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm--  
> I love this chapter so much.  
> Every part of it was so fun to write heheheehe  
> I hope you guys like it!!!  
> \--  
> **starting from May 6th, I will be going on semi-hiatus until about May 23rd. I still plan on posting up new chapters, but just more infrequently for about ~2 weeks. I'll still be around, though!! This is just a quick PSA :) I love you guys, thank you so much for the support <33333


	10. vegas week

The second Jongin steps out of the car, he’s hit by the dry, hot heat of the Nevada sun shining down on him. It’s quite a change from the chilly spring air that Jongin’s used to back in Boston; apparently even in May, the weather is nice enough on the West coast that Jongin suffices in a loose t-shirt and shorts. Jongin murmurs a word of thanks to a staff member who hands him his suitcase and quietly follows behind a long line of dancers into the lobby of the dark theatre. Everywhere Jongin turns, it seems as if there’s a camera trained on him and the 158 other dancers that had also made the Vegas cut. 

“Okay!” The director steps out to the front of the chaos and Jongin looks up. “Welcome to Vegas Week. In order to receive your hotel key card, you will need to impress the judges first with your performance. Dancers, you have ten minutes to warm up. Then we’ll call you out to perform one by one. Once you are finished, you will receive no feedback--” A murmur runs through the dancers, and Jongin exchanges anxious glances with another man beside him. “After every fifth dancer, you all will be called back out in order to determine if you will be allowed to proceed with bootcamp or be sent straight back home.” 

“So hardcore,” the dancer next to Jongin murmurs, and Jongin nods. 

“Even though they told us this was basically what to expect, it still feels so surreal that they’re really doing it,” Jongin replies nervously, and the man nods fervently as the director lets them go and everyone stands up to change and warm up. 

“I know, right? Actually filming for the show and being here still feels like a dream. Good luck, by the way.” The man holds out his hand and Jongin takes it, cracking a small smile. 

“Thank you. You, too.” 

The palpable tension across the room seems to unite everyone, yet despite the growing bundle of nerves as Jongin stretches out and walks through the short routine that he had prepared, Jongin’s excitement grows as well when he watches the first group of dancers head on stage. 

“You’re number 75,” a staff member comes by and hands him a sticker with his number on it. “After you finish dancing, stay on stage. The rest of your group will come back out to meet you and receive your results together.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” Jongin nods. 

\--

“Kai, please step forward.” Adam Shankman, Mary Murphy, Nigel Lythgoe, and tWitch sit in front of a long table. All eyes are trained on Jongin as he steps forward to the microphone in front and bows slightly, still breathing hard from his routine. Adam’s eyes convey no warmth as he leans forward and carefully scans Jongin up and down before speaking. 

“You impressed all of us,” Adam gestures to the table of judges who suddenly break into wide smiles. “Welcome to Vegas Week.” Jongin doesn’t need to act when his happiness breaks onto his face and he lets out a yelp of excitement into the microphone. 

“Oh! Sorry, sorry,” Jongin giggles behind his hand. “I didn’t mean to scream. Thank you so much.” Jongin bows. “I’ll work hard here.” 

“Of course.” Adam points him down the aisle and Jongin bows one more time before rushing out of the theatre in excitement, where he collects his room key and is directed to change into swimming trunks to celebrate by the pool. Inside his room, Jongin savors the privacy for just one minute, tossing a shirt over the camera in the room in order to change and snap a few mirror pictures for Kyungsoo. 

[Jongin]

i made it!!!!

gonna go film a pool scene apparently

but you get behind the scene pics ;)

img.7323 

idk how much time i’ll have to call u but i’ll try my best

love you!

“Hey!” Jongin breaks into a wide smile when he sees the dancer that he’d talked to earlier, waving him over to the edge of the pool. “You made it as well!” 

“I did!” Jongin chirps as he takes a seat on the hot concrete and dangles his feet in the cool water. “Good to see you made it, too.” 

“Yeah, dude. My name’s Alan,” Jongin smiles and shakes the man’s hand for the second time. “Alan Bersten.” 

“Kai Roberts, nice to meet you. What’s your main discipline?” 

“I do ballroom,” Alan says with a white-toothed smile, and Jongin laughs delightedly. 

“Oh my gosh, I’m dreading ballroom the most,” he admits. “I’m mostly a hip-hop dancer.” 

“Ah, I gotchu then! I’ll see if I can help you out.” Jongin smiles gratefully at this, happy to have made a friend so quickly as well as gratified by Alan’s offer. They both wave eagerly to the cameraman that pans over a shot of both of them. 

“Should we join… whatever that is?” Jongin points over to a semi-circle of accepted dancers that are clapping and cheering. 

“Doesn’t hurt to take a look,” Alan agrees readily, and Jongin peeks to the center where one of the dancers does a few graceful leaps for the camera and watching dancers before running back to join the edges of the circle. 

“Who’s next? Don’t be shy,” someone calls, and Jongin yelps as Alan’s hand closes around his wrist to drag him to the center of the circle amidst cheering. 

“Can’t help you if I don’t see where your starting point is,” Alan’s smile is friendly and Jongin bursts into laughter as he falls into step with a ridiculously overexaggerated tango with him. 

“Solo!” One of the dancers points to Jongin, cheering him on, and the crowd takes up the chant, including Alan as he pulls away and claps. Jongin does the last few steps of his hip-hop choreography, making sure to lock eyes with the camera and smirk knowingly when his hands travel down his chest during his body rolls. Someone wolf-whistles in the crowd and suddenly Jongin gets shy again, crossing his arms across his chest as he quickly runs back to his original spot, feeling slightly miffed as the camera continues to follow him despite having stopped dancing.

“Hey, you,” One of the cameramen calls, “Can we just direct a quick b-cut shot with you in it?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Jongin draws a towel around himself as he walks under the shade of an umbrella. “What do you need?” 

“We were thinking of having you in the water and then either this--” The cameraman runs a hand through his hair, “or pulling yourself up by the edge of the pool. Either way, make sure it’s hot.” Jongin hesitates for just a fraction of a second before nodding reluctantly. 

“Niceeee!” The man shouts appreciatively when Jongin pulls himself up out of the water and brushes his wet hair back from his face. “Very nice, Kai. Thank you.” Jongin glances around to see more than a few people ogling him as well. He only sighs and hurries to drape a towel around his shoulders after bowing to the staff. 

\--

“They’re still performing?” Alan asks as the duo stroll back to the hotel together. It’s almost 7:30, and Jongin’s feeling both drowsy and lazy from the sun-soaked filming session and casual dinner. Jongin keeps his towel wrapped tightly around himself in order to shield his bare chest from the omnipresent cameras. 

“Shall we take a look?” Together, they carefully peep into the theater, where a man stands on stage. 

“Oh!” Jongin exclaims quietly to Alan as the man pops his chest out and back in with seemingly no effort. “That’s Du-Shaunt Stegall, is it not?” 

“Fik-shun, right? Yeah, I watched his audition,” Alan whispers, and Jongin nods in agreement. “He’s fucking incredible.” 

“He is…” Jongin trails off, watching Stegall’s isolation of what seems like every joint in his body. “Holy shit.” 

“Kai,” Alan begins as they both enter the elevator together. Fik-shun had apparently been the last out of 106 remaining dancers to officially join Vegas Week. “You ever get  _ major _ Imposter Syndrome here?” At this, Jongin nods fervently, head still filled with thoughts of Fik-Shun’s performance as well as the other talents he’d seen showcased throughout the entire day. 

“Sometimes I just sit down in front of myself in the mirror and question what I’m doing with my life,” Jongin admits. “What’s the point of trying when there are people like Fik-shun…” 

“Meeeee.” The elevator doors ding pleasantly at the fourth floor. “This is my floor. I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” 

“Tomorrow,” Jongin agrees. “What’s the first round again?” 

“Hip-hop. Your element, right?” 

“Yep, but that’s exactly why they’ll expect more from me.” Jongin waves. “Sleep well!” 

\--

“Baby,” Kyungsoo cooes when the FaceTime call connects and Jongin greets his boyfriend with a wide smile and wet hair from his shower. “Oh, you are tan.” 

“I’m already really tan,” Jongin glances at his arms. “I don’t think I got that much tanner?” 

“It looks like it. How are you doing? I saw your text, congratulations.” Kyungsoo blows him a sleepy kiss, having just woken up. “But I was not really worry…” He adds after a moment. 

“Hyung, it’s so fun here,” Jongin laughs, leaning against the pillows on his bed. “It’s like you said, everybody’s a dancer and I’ve already met tons of people. There’s this mix of excitement and nervousness, but overall it’s just really fun and incredible.” Jongin sighs. 

“You look happy,” Kyungsoo observes. “And very cute as usual.” 

“Oh! We had that pool scene that I mentioned… there might’ve been a few shots… well. I’ll let  _ you _ see if the footage comes out,” Jongin says mysteriously, and wiggles his eyebrows at Kyungsoo, whose eyes alight in interest. 

“Oh?” 

“Yeahhh,” Jongin beams at Kyungsoo, but then sobers slightly. “They keep wanting shots of my body,” he complains. “As if I’m only a hot model and not a dancer.” Kyungsoo’s eyebrows also crease at this, and Jongin just barely detects a flash of something sinister cross Kyungsoo’s face. 

“Show them what you are capable of, then,” Kyungsoo’s advice is simple. Jongin nods. 

“Like, I don’t mind if you…” Jongin cuts off embarrassedly, looking up to see a small self-satisfied smile fluttering on Kyungsoo’s lips. “If--if you say stuff or whatever, but not… not everyone. I’m not just abs and face.” 

“I know,” Kyungsoo offers gently. “You are more than that. Dance start tomorrow, make them focus on that.” Then he hesitates just the slightest bit before saying the next part. “That part of you is only for me.” Kyungsoo’s voice is low and possessive.

“Yes,” Jongin agrees immediately. “For you. Why do you think I sent you that picture?” His boyfriend’s expression is smug as Jongin changes the subject. “Oh, but also, Las Vegas is so dry,” he remarks. “I’m glad I brought moisturizer, I don’t wanna break out while I’m on camera. And it’s  _ so hot,  _ babe, like I was sweating and it’s May. Not like Boston at all. I can still wear a jacket back home and not be hot.” 

“Oh, but you are hot wearing anything.” Kyungsoo offers, smirking when Jongin groans. “Ah! Maybe I have not told you before? I have been to Las Vegas.” 

“Oh?” Jongin perks up in interest. “What for?” 

“Our university had a, ah, what is it, like a program? For computer science. It was two weeks, few years ago. It was very dry, I agree. But weather very nice. Sun is out all day.” Kyungsoo props his phone up on his desk and moves around his dorm to get the day started while talking to Jongin. “Anyways. You just make sure you work hard but have fun. I hear filming can get very te-te-how do you say?” 

“Tedious?” Jongin guesses. 

“Yes, tedious. Take care of yourself, drink lots of water. And take your time, like I say before. Call me when you free and do not worry.” Kyungsoo slides his pajama bottoms off in exchange for a pair of jeans and Jongin hums his approval teasingly. 

“That ass, babe.” Kyungsoo bends at the waist, plants his hands on his knees, and shakes his head affectionately with a chuckle. 

“You are so cute. Gah, I miss you.” Kyungsoo fumbles for a shirt. 

“I miss you, too. Don’t put on a shirt,” Jongin begs, and Kyungsoo pops his head out of the closet and leans back into frame. 

“I have to go to class with shirt, sweetheart.” 

“But you’re not in class yet,” Jongin argues. “Stay and talk with me.” 

“I am talking to you.” Kyungsoo holds up a familiar-looking one. “Is this yours?” 

“Why do you have that one?” Jongin exclaims. “I was looking for it when I was packing for Vegas!” 

“You gave it to me,” Kyungsoo says innocently. “I wear it for you, then.” 

“Ah…” Jongin sighs. “A shame.” 

“What? Me wearing shirt or me wearing your shirt that you want?” 

“Both,” Jongin laments, then glances at the digital clock on his nightstand. “Babe?” 

“Hmm?” 

“I gotta get up at five tomorrow, and it’s getting kinda late…” 

Kyungsoo promptly collects his phone and blows a kiss at the screen. “That is fine. Good night, sweetheart. Sweet dreams.” 

“Will you visit me?” Jongin asks, and when Kyungsoo’s brows furrow a little in confusion, Jongin reiterates. “Visit in my dreams so they’re sweet and cheesy.” 

“Maybe I will.” Kyungsoo smiles gently. “ _ Fighting,  _ Nini. I love you.” 

\--

“It’s hype, physical, super fast, and a little nasty,” Napoleon Dumo, the choreographer for the hip-hop round, announces to the male dancers as he gets up to demonstrate the choreography with his wife, Tabitha. Together, they make up the hip-hop duo “Nappytabs.” “And for the ladies, if you do it right, you should feel like you wanna puke.” Jongin’s in awe as he watches the choreography, and as soon as they finish, he immediately itches to learn it. “Got it?” Jongin nods along with everyone else. He’s seated towards the back of the stage, but despite the strange angle, he still manages to learn and work through the choreography decently well. His partner, a girl who is also a hip-hop dancer, doesn’t necessarily dance with him, but they will be judged alongside each other, so both of them automatically agree that it’s mutually beneficial to work in sync so as to mask each other’s potential weaknesses a bit better during the performance. 

“Oh, this is difficult,” she pants, and Jongin nods in agreement, sweating profusely. The movements are sharp but intricate at the same time, and Jongin’s never been the best at picking up choreography quickly. Still, he finds himself rapidly sliding into his sphere of focus as urgency takes over and the clock ticks quicker and quicker towards performance time. Jongin’s still marking out choreography backstage as he waits for his turn, and out of the corner of his eye, he sees his partner doing the same. 

“Run it together once?” Jongin pauses to suggest, and she nods. “5, 6, 7, 8--” Jongin doesn’t go full out with his movements, but executes just enough to make sure that he commits it to memory and he won’t blank out on stage. “Nice.” They exchange a high-five. 

“Some people aren’t even worried,” she murmurs to Jongin. “I saw them fooling around the entire time.” And this astounds him. 

“Why? They worked so hard to get here, and they would just waste that opportunity?” He asks out loud, and his partner shrugs. 

“No idea. I’d still take a stage seriously, even if hip-hop is our strong suit. You feel?” Jongin nods fervently at this, then looks up as his number is called. 

“Ready?” Jongin walks out on stage with his partner and takes his spot in the middle, between two other partnered dancers. The same four judges are seated at the table, but Jongin jolts in surprise as he realizes the guest judge for the day is none other than Jason Derulo, and that the audience is filled with dancers that must’ve already passed. And yet, all of that fades away as the director gives the cue and music begins blasting out of the speakers. Jongin lets his mind go blank, relying entirely on short-term muscle memory that he’d built up almost non-stop for the past couple of hours. The only thing he really focuses on is extension and accentuating each movement with power and attitude. He smirks, he winks, he pulls faces. He interacts with his partner as they had planned, and they build off of each other’s energy. Jongin’s almost sorry when the music ends. 

\--

“So, how many are left?” Alan slides into the chair next to Jongin during lunch and Jongin turns to look at him in surprise. 

“Hey. Uhh… 77.” 

“Oh wow, 30-something got cut?” Jongin nods. 

“How was hip-hop for you?” 

“It was a struggle,” Alan laughs along with Jongin. “But I’m glad it’s over. Everything else is decently easy for me. What about you?” 

“It was difficult for me, too,” Jongin agrees. “But I think comparably easier?” Alan nods, then glances up when a skinny brunette girl hesitantly approaches the chair on the other side. “Ah, Jenna! Have a seat. Yo, Kai, this is Jenna Johnson, she’s also a ballroom dancer. We happened to be paired together during hip-hop. Jenna, Kai Roberts.” 

“So nice to meet you,” Jenna leans over to shake Jongin’s hand. “Where are you from?” 

“Boston, Massachusetts. You?” 

“Provo, Utah.” Jenna smiles. “I saw your audition clip. You were breathtaking. Looks like you’re skilled in many areas of dance, too.” 

“Oh!” Jongin inclines his head slightly. “Thank you so much, that’s really kind of you. I’ve seen your audition clip as well,” Jongin adds. “You did amazing.” 

“Ah,” Jenna’s laugh is infectious and Jongin finds himself grinning widely as well. “Well then, it’s nice to meet you in person!” 

“Likewise.” The trio make their way back to the stage after lunch, where Jazz choreographer Sonya Tayeh waits for them. Jongin’s promptly intimidated by Sonya, whose no-nonsense attitude and quick, snappy method of teaching the choreography leave him in hyper focus for the rest of the afternoon. 

“You should not have one doubt in your partner,” Sonya stresses, “Even if you just met them.” This time, Jongin’s paired with another girl--Eliza--who is a tap dancer. 

“For this lift you need to wrap your leg around my back,” Jongin explains as he wipes sweat off his face. “Otherwise we’ll both slip.”

“Okay,” Eliza shifts slightly. “Try again.” Jongin’s relieved when Eliza is just as driven as he is, although her technique could use some work. Jongin does his best to point out tips for her as they work together to perfect the routine. By the time evening falls, the judges are expected back in their chairs, but instead of them, Sonya walks back in with her mouth in a thin line. 

“You guys are supposed to perform, but I’m gonna be honest with you,” Jongin’s heart drops. “You’re not ready.” Beside him, Eliza’s face is just as grave as his. “I expect you guys to be up all night working on this routine,” Sonya continues, and at this, the dancer’s faces drop into expressions of disbelief, “and you better be ready to show this to the judges in the morning. Do I make myself clear?” 

“Holy shit,” Eliza murmurs as Jongin pulls her by the wrist to find a quiet corner in the hotel lobby to continue working on the choreography. “She’s so strict.” 

“I think it’s acting,” Jongin replies between gulps of water. “But we’d better get to work. Just tell me if you need a break or anything, okay? It’s okay to take a nap.” 

“Thanks,” Eliza looks relieved. “Have you stayed up all night for choreo before?” At this, Jongin lets out a short laugh, remembering all the nights when he’d lost track of time and ended up crawling into bed next to a disgruntled Kyungsoo at the wee hours of the morning. 

“This wouldn’t be my first all-nighter.” 

“You’re so dedicated, then,” Eliza says as Jongin stretches out. 

“I’m sure you are, too. We all have our own ways of training.” Jongin holds out his hand. “Let’s get started.” They work together successfully for about five hours until fatigue starts to set in and Eliza calls a quick break. 

“I’ve never practiced for so long,” Eliza slumps down against the wall as Jongin passes a bottle of water to her. 

“S’okay,” Jongin murmurs, although inside, he feels quite panicked. “Here,” Jongin suddenly comes up with an idea, “Do you want to go back to my room where it’s quieter? You can sleep for just a few hours and then we can practice some more.” Eliza nods gratefully and accepts Jongin’s hand. On their way to the elevators, they pass a small crowd of people. Jongin pays no attention, but Eliza taps on his bare shoulder. 

“Why is the ambulance here?” At this, Jongin spins around. 

“What? Holy shit…” Jongin watches as one of the dancers is strapped to a gurney and wheeled off. “What happened?” he asks no one in particular.

“Her partner dropped her and she hit her head,” one of the other dancers tells him. “Concussion, probably.” 

“Oh my god.” Jongin suddenly feels like he’s been dunked in cold water. “So what’s gonna happen?” 

“No idea.” The dancer goes back to his partner. Jongin turns to Eliza, who looks just as horrified as him. 

“That’s terrible,” Eliza whispers quietly in the elevator, and Jongin nods silently. “I feel so bad.” 

“Me, too.” Jongin sighs as he opens the door to his hotel room. “Feel free to take a shower or whatever.” He sets about making space in the small room--pushing the desk into the very corner, carefully turning the TV around on the table so that a stray leg or arm won’t hit it. Eliza declines the shower, instead curling up on the edge of Jongin’s bed and quickly falling asleep. Jongin glances at her before returning to choreography, watching himself in the full-length mirror hanging on one wall of the room. 

\--

“Who are you texting?” Eliza asks when she wakes up two hours later to Jongin sitting on the other edge of the bed with his phone in his hands. 

“Hmm? Oh, you’re awake. Are you feeling better?” Jongin’s eyes are puffy and there are dark circles under them. Outside the window, the city lights and billboards of Las Vegas light the early morning up. The clock shows that it’s a little past three in the morning. 

“Yep,” Eliza sits up and fixes her hair back into a ponytail. “Nobody is up at this hour, are they?” 

“Unless they live on the other side of the world,” Jongin smiles a little as he sets his phone down.  _ And he just told me I look like a little baby panda and he wants to squish my cheeks. _ “Let’s get back to work.” 

\--

“Kai, congratulations. You’re moving onto the next round. Eliza, please step forward.” Jongin bows quickly and lingers for a second in the aisle to hear his partner’s result. 

“Eliza, I’m sorry. You just didn’t really exhibit what we were looking for--you were uncertain with your movements, and in some parts, you couldn’t match up to your partner’s energy.” Jongin’s happiness is short-lived; Eliza bows quickly and exits the stage to pack up her things. Jongin ignores the cameras on him as he sprints out of the auditorium and catches Eliza just before she steps into the elevator. 

“I’m sorry,” Jongin whispers, holding his arms out. Eliza steps into them, shaking a little bit, but pulls back with relatively dry eyes. “I’m really sorry, I could’ve helped you more, I should’ve balanced out my power--” 

“It’s not your fault, Kai.” Eliza wipes quickly at her tears. “You did your best for me even though I’m not used to jazz, and I’m really grateful. You were nothing but kind to me even when I couldn’t keep up.” 

“That’s not your fault,” Jongin protests with a heavy heart. “You’re an amazing dancer to have gotten this far. And I--I don’t think I have any more right to advance than you.” 

“But you did,” Eliza grasps his shoulders. “So you have to work your hardest. I’ll be cheering you on back home.” 

“Where’s home for you?” Jongin asks, feeling a little teary-eyed himself. They’d only spent all of fifteen hours together, but they’d spent it sleep-deprived, desperate, and united with only one end goal in mind. That they don’t get to celebrate the fruits of their labor today tugs at Jongin insistently and guilt washes over him. 

“Washington. How about you?” 

“Boston.” Jongin embraces Eliza one last time. “Good luck with everything,” Jongin tells her. “This doesn’t define you as a dancer at all.” 

“I know. Thank you.” 

\--

Jongin barely has time to think about Eliza when the ballroom round starts in the afternoon after a rushed lunch break. Jongin makes sure to grab a cup of coffee, then chuckles as he sips on the disgusting beverage in his hand.  _ I wonder what Soo would think if he saw me drinking coffee.  _ Jongin fidgets nervously while they’re all paired together, but his eyes widen when Jenna runs towards him and embraces him. 

“We’re partners!?” Jongin clasps Jenna’s hand relievedly as Jenna lets out an infectious, happy laugh at being paired with a familiar face.

“Let’s do this.” With Jenna by his side, Jongin learns the choreography quickly, and he finds himself enjoying this round the most--especially when both of them pass with roaring approval from the judges across the board. 

“You were up all night, and you’re going to be up all night again,” Nigel says to the remaining sixty-something dancers. “It's a group round.” Jongin ends up being paired with a group of five dancers, one of which--to Jongin’s pleasant surprise--happens to be Alan. 

“So we pick a CD at random and we have to choreograph?” Jongin asks, and there’s a general murmur of assent. “I think we should pick a leader…” 

“Why don’t you?” Alan suggests, and Jongin flinches at this. 

“I’m not much of a leader.” 

“I have no complaints,” one of the group members pitches in. “We’re all exhausted, let’s just come to a decision quickly. Kai, can you choreograph for a group?” 

“Yeah, I… I used to do it all the time back home.” 

“Then just have it be you,” Alan insists. “Especially if we pick a hip-hop routine.” Jongin says a silent prayer of thanks to SHINee at this very moment, even choosing to incorporate some of their choreography into their routine. Jongin leads practice all night, setting aside his own fatigue and exhaustion to make sure every single one of them are in sync and in position. 

“5, 6, 7, 8--” At one point, Jongin stops counting beats and instead begins ad libs to make it easier on his sore throat. “Good,” Jongin claps. “We’ll be fine, just go--go sleep for like thirty minutes.” But Jongin doesn’t sleep, instead choosing to sort through his text messages from assorted people. 

[Sehunnie]

if i see you back here before vegas week is over i’m sending you right back on that mf plane

do NOT let me down bro

hui said hi

actually he said a BUNCH of stuff but tldr hi, good luck, ur hot

[Jongin]

it’s not that deep ????

tell hui thx!

i’m still in it to win it :3

>

[Jongdae]

Good luck at Vegas Week!

Please pass~

[Jongin]

still here :) ty hyung 

>

[Byun Baek]

img.1938

Yeollie and I say GL BABE

BEST MAN

COME DANCE AT THE WEDDING I WANNA BRAG

LOVE YOU

[Jongin]

dis

gus

ting

Thank u tho~

>

[Minseok-hyung]

Good luck, Jongin!

Trust yourself :) I’m so proud of you!

[Jongin]

thank you hyung <3

Let’s get coffee soon!

>

Jongin can’t help the laugh that explodes when he finally clicks on Kyungsoo’s contact, saving his favorite for last, and finds an entire stream of updates. 

“Oh, hyung…” Jongin’s smile is uncontainable. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

My little star 

I love you

Are you get enough sleep?

Work hard <3

You do not have to reply, I just text because I am bored. 

img.3627 

Breakfast~

Did you eat yours? I hope so. 

If you not reply, that means you pass right? Proud of you <3

Still practicing? Nini you work so hard :) 

I miss you

Come to Korea

I teach you computer

You can work with me and be with me

Who cares about dancing anyway

Ballerina ;) 

img.3628 

Selca for my sweetheart. Wish I could see you, too.

I miss you

Did I say I miss you?

SHINee bogoshipda? More like hyung bogoshipda… 

I love you

My Nini, make sure you are eating

Nini, I am confuse, please tell me why my code is not working this morning?

Ah, I know why--it is missing a kiss… 

Where do I find one? Myeonnie does not have. 

Let me know if you have an extra, please

I miss you

Still passing rounds? My shining star, really… 

I see your schedule you only have Group and Contemporary left? Fighting! 

Baby, did you forget about me? 

[Jongin]

OF COURSE NOT!!! 

babe this is so cute heheeheheheh

I can’t talk long i have to get back to choreo but i love u, i miss u too

I have an extra kiss, gl with your code!

Nom~

Kyungsoo texts back in seconds before Jongin even puts his phone down to rouse his group awake. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Sweetheart <3

Your reply make my day. 

[Jongin]

i’m leading the group round and teaching them shinee choreo LOLLLL

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

You? Leader? 

So proud of you… 

You are take care of yourself and others. Growing up so fast. 

Go teach then

Have fun my love

\--

The knot of worry in Jongin’s chest doesn’t unravel until all five of them make it and then Jongin’s screaming in celebration with everyone else despite having pulled two consecutive all-nighters to get to this point. Suddenly, the end of boot camp seems incredibly close. 

“We’re in the final run here,” Jongin pulls everyone close together. “I really hope we’ll all get to celebrate together. We only have one more round to go.” 

“I expect every single one of you to find me at the afterparty,” Alan adds. “We’re going to Hollywood together.” There are high-fives all around, then Jongin turns his attention tiredly to the next and final round of contemporary choreography. But at this point, Jongin feels like he’s running on fumes. He’s slept  _ maybe  _ an hour out of seventy-two, and the contemporary choreography is excruciating on his sore, overworked body. 

“She is hesitant; by the time she pulls through, it is too late,” Mary Murphy tells the dancers, and Jongin feels a lump in his throat once he masters the choreography and begins carving emotion into his intricate gestures. 

“I don’t know if I’m so tired that I can’t think straight, or I’ve just been through some shit,” Jongin laughs helplessly as he collapses in a corner with his partner who’s just as mentally and physically spent as Jongin is. 

“Me, too,” The chuckles that bubble up from both of them are self-pitying and half-crazed. “I’m so tired…” Jongin flinches when the girl leans against his sweaty, bare chest, but then decides the gesture is far too feeble, and he is far too tired, to create any meaning beyond  _ I am fucking dead and you are, too, so let’s just sit here for a moment and contemplate the meaning of life.  _

“Should we cry on stage?” Jongin suggests, and this sends them into another round of maniacal laughter. Jongin’s beyond the point of exhaustion where his head is empty; it’s full of whirling thoughts, but he can’t organize them into coherency. 

“I will cry now at a moment’s notice. I’ll actually burst into tears if someone touches me.” At this, Jongin nudges her playfully and she sniffles comedically. 

“C’mon. Let’s practice,” Jongin grips sweaty hands and tugs his partner up. “Just a few hours left.” 

“Is this worth it to you?” The girl whispers as Jongin cradles her face close to his while humming the melody. 

“Yes,” Jongin twirls her out of his passionate grip. “That’s exactly why we’re here, right? To find out if it’s worth it to work this hard.” 

“If I’m being honest,” the duo hit their ending pose and collapse to the floor in a heap. Jongin’s partner gestures to the general area. “I feel the same way. I wouldn’t trade this opportunity for anything.” Jongin looks around to the various bags scattered all over the floor, to couples working their way through choreography or taking haphazard naps, to cameras pointed at vulnerable, slack faces. He looks inward now, and sorts through his feelings as best as he can. First and foremost, he’s  _ exhausted-- _ ready to drop with the slightest breeze. But somewhere in the middle of the weariness, he is not numb or empty. He’s  _ elated _ and  _ proud _ and  _ confident _ . The desire to make it to the Green Mile and fight with the other survivors of Vegas Week for his spot in the Top 20 in a few weeks in Hollywood burns more steadily and far stronger than the lactic acid that has settled in what seems like every muscle in his body. For a split second, perhaps out of sheer fatigue and the lack of sleep, he sees Kyungsoo walking towards him in the lobby, eyes shining with pride, holding out his arms and drawing a limp Jongin into a long hug. 

_ “Look at you,” Kyungsoo brushes the sweat-soaked bangs back from Jongin’s forehead. “My shining star.”  _

_ “Hyung… ” Jongin clutches onto Kyungsoo’s shirt and buries his face into a familiar, safe chest.  _

“Who?” Jongin’s head snaps to his partner, who hands a bottle of water to him with a politely confused expression on her face. 

“Oh, shit. Did I say that out loud?” Jongin covers his mouth. 

“Who’s hyung?” Jongin smiles a little at the question. He opens his mouth to reply. 

“Don’t worry about it.” Jongin pulls himself up into a squatting position. “One more time?” 

“Sure thing.” 

\--

  
  


The final performance hits Jongin in flashes of emotion, as if a spotlight clicks on and off, highlighting all the final moments of the most arduous but rewarding week of his life. 

_ Click.  _

Jongin steps forward to the microphone one more time, hands shaking with nervousness. If he made it this far only to get sent back home, it’d be even worse than being sent straight back home in the beginning. 

_ Click.  _

“Why do you deserve to be on this show?” 

“If you’ll let me, then I’ll prove why in Hollywood.” Jongin’s blunt answer shocks all of the judges. Then Nigel’s face splits into a wide grin. 

“If I remember correctly, didn’t you say something incredibly similar at your audition, Kai?” 

“Yes. I didn’t introduce myself before I danced,” Jongin says softly with a smile. “Some things are better resolved with action.” 

_ Click. _

Jongin can’t stop the sobs that bubble up from his throat. He covers his face with his hands so that the camera won’t catch his tear-stained cheeks and broadcast them for the world to see. 

_ Click.  _

Alan’s crying with him. 

_ Click.  _

Jongin poses for pictures with all of his newfound friends, promising to stay in touch and exchanging social media usernames to continue supporting each other’s careers. 

_ Click.  _

Jongin packs up his suitcase and looks around the small hotel room, then peeks his head into the empty theatre as he makes his way to the black car outside that will take him to the airport. It seems as if he’s made a lifetime of memories in this building. Once in the car, Jongin glances down at his phone and finds a single text from Kyungsoo. Unlike all the lengthy texts that Kyungsoo had sent him throughout the week, this one is incredibly brief. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

?

[Jongin]

hyung

I made it.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \\(^o^)/  
> YASSSSSS JONGINNNN SLAYYYYYYY  
> XOXO~  
> love you guys hehe


	11. make tonight fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm BACK and so happy I'm done with finals :D Thank you for waiting, here's the new chapter!

Jongin lazily pushes the shopping cart in front of him in the grocery aisle, taking his time as he slowly checks items off the long list that his mother had shoved into his hand about an hour ago. A small smile makes its way to the corner of his lips when he passes the marshmallows, remembering Kyungsoo’s mixed reaction to sweet potato casserole last year at Thanksgiving. Then he looks up in shock, and--

“Minseok-hyung?” A familiar figure turns towards Jongin and promptly crinkles up his wide eyes in excitement. 

“We just keep running into each other, don’t we?” Minseok scurries around the shopping cart loaded with groceries and goes in for a hug. “Congratulations, Nini. I told you that you’d make it, didn’t I?” 

“I don’t know how, but I did,” Jongin returns the hug happily. “I’m kinda glad I ran into you before I left, hyung.” 

“Ah, yeah, you’re leaving rather soon, aren’t you? Tomorrow, if I remember correctly?” Minseok steps back and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 

“Yeah, filming starts pretty soon and I wanted to get some time to hang out with Jongdae-hyung and Sehun before I’m swamped in work, so I just came back to town for the weekend to pack up some stuff. My mom kinda, uh, shoved me out of the house to run errands for her.” Jongin gestures vaguely to the cart and chuckles. “She said that it’d be my last grocery run for the summer for her, but I doubt that…” 

“So she’s supportive?” Minseok raises an eyebrow and Jongin nods enthusiastically. 

“Yeah, really supportive. She and dad even offered to pay for everything that the production crew isn’t covering. Which is really just my extra practices and my mini-vacation for the next few days…” Jongin shuffles his feet a little. “But I told her I’d split the cost. I’m really thankful for them.” 

“You’re a good kid,” Minseok reaches over to pat Jongin’s shoulder. “Of course they’d be supportive of you. And you know I am, too. I bet Kyungsoo’s proud as well.” 

“He is,” Jongin affirms. “He’s super happy for me.” 

“Cute,” Minseok muses. “That’s really good, Nini. I assume you’re busy packing and everything, then?” 

“A little,” Jongin hedges. “I should get home quickly.” 

“Alright.” Minseok goes in for one more hug. “It was good seeing you in person, Nini. Keep me updated with everything!” 

“For sure, hyung.” 

\--

“Sehun…” The moan escapes Hui’s lips easily as he arches up into Sehun’s hot touch and greedy lips which are currently leaving messy, wet kisses all up and down his neck. “Sehun.” 

“You’re so cute.” Sehun’s chuckle is seemingly unaffected by the power and speed of his thrusts into Hui. Only a hint of breathlessness indicates how turned on he is. “Always so eager, baby boy.” His hands slide down Hui’s side to grope handfuls of his ass, then lands a hard, resounding smack on his left cheek that makes Hui wail and buck up into Sehun’s next thrust. 

“Again,” Hui begs. 

“Again what?” 

“P-please.” Hui scrambles for purchase, clawing Sehun’s back. “Again, daddy.”

“S’cute.” Another spank, this time on the right side. “You gonna cum on daddy’s cock like a good boy?” 

“Fffuck--” Hui moans when Sehun takes hold of his aching, neglected cock and brushes his fingers over the head with a practiced twist. The younger trembles in Sehun’s strong arms and cums into his hand with a stuttered groan. Sehun gasps lightly and half a dozen strong strokes later, he follows suit. 

“You’re so hot,” Hui murmurs after a moment’s silence. Sehun pulls out, causing Hui to shiver, and disposes of the condom. He grabs the towel under both of them to wipe his hand and clean Hui up a little before tossing it carelessly to the floor and draping an arm around Hui’s waist tiredly. 

“When’s your flight?” Hui asks after a while. “Do you want me to send you off?” Sehun is sluggish to respond, basking in the warm afternoon sun and the afterglow of a good fuck. 

“It’s early. And you don’t have to…unless you want to.” Hui rolls over and lands half on top of Sehun. His eyes don’t open, and neither do Sehun’s. 

“If it’s early, I’m not getting up. So I guess this is our last day together for a while, huh?” 

“S’pose so. Depends on how far Jong makes it.” Sehun hums. “You gonna miss me, cutie?”

Hui smirks against Sehun’s shoulder. “A bit.” 

“Me, too.” 

“If you ever miss me too much, you can always fly me out to California.” Hui suggests sarcastically. 

“I’m just your fuck daddy, not your sugar daddy, baby boy.” Hui giggles. 

“Daddy.” He singsongs almost teasingly, and Sehun opens his eyes to find Hui staring at him through a haze of gorgeous dark eyelashes. They turn golden-brown, reflecting the bright sunlight filtering in through the window. It’s an abnormally warm early-summer day for the Northeastern city. 

“Fuck, you’re  _ so _ cute.” Sehun tilts his head to the side. “Kiss me.” Hui leans in for a sloppy, familiar kiss. 

“You’ll come back for school in September, though,” Hui murmurs between lips on lips. “Maybe earlier. I hope you find some cute guys in Cali.” 

“Me, too.” Sehun chuckles. “You’re cute enough, though.” 

“Aww. That’s sweet. I appreciate that.” Hui pulls back enough to offer his crooked grin. “Tell Jongin I said good luck.” 

“Sure, Hui.” Sehun casually curls a hand into Hui’s soft hair and pulls him back down to resume the kiss. When they both eventually doze off, Sehun dreams of cute, nerdy California boys with kitten smiles and high cheekbones.

\--

“I don’t need to pack that much,” Jongin protests as his mom sets down an armful of various shirts by his side in a neatly folded pile. “That’s a _lot_ of shirts, mom…” 

“Pack as if you’re going to stay for a while,” Marie tells him gently when Jongin eyes the pile doubtfully. “If you stay for a few months, you’re gonna need to pack at least two to three weeks worth of clothing.” 

“I’ll be back really soon, though. I seriously don’t think I’m gonna need this much.” 

Marie only smiles and squats down to help Jongin make space in the already-stuffed suitcase. “You never know. Better to be well prepared.” 

“Huh.” Jongin carefully transfers the pile of shirts into his suitcase, rolling them up to save space. “Could you get the ones hanging over my desk chair, please?” 

“Are these yours?” Marie tosses them to Jongin. “I don’t remember you ever owning something like this.” 

“I mean, technically they’re mine.” Jongin packs those as well. “Mom--” 

“Hmm?” 

“Thank you. For paying for half of this, and letting me go so far away, and everything else. I mean everything you’ve ever done for me--not just this.” Jongin gestures to his suitcase and half-empty closet. “All those years of carpooling and watching practice and taking me to competitions. I wouldn’t be doing this if it weren’t for you.” 

“Kai,” Marie begins, folding her hands neatly into her lap, “Your father and I--we’ll always support you with everything you want to do. All we’ve ever wanted is your well-being and happiness.” 

“I know. I’m just trying to tell you I appreciate it more than I show,” Jongin reaches out for his mother and hugs her tightly, “and that I love you and dad. I’ll do my best, make you guys proud.” 

“We’re already so, so proud of you, you should know that. No matter what.” 

“Then just think of it as earning back all that money you spent on training,” Jongin chances at a joke and laughs just a little. “An investment that’s finally paying off.” 

“I’ve always loved watching you dance,” Marie pulls back from the embrace. “Even when you were little. You would jump around everywhere. Do you remember when you would pirouette in grocery aisles and I scolded you all the time?” 

“I forgot that habit’s from when I was little.” Jongin’s mouth quirks up. “Sometimes I still do it.” 

“Kai.” Marie’s voice is stern, but her eyes are alight with amusement. “Are you serious?” 

“On occasion, yeah. The floors are smooth and nice for turning.” Jongin snickers as Marie shakes her head. “Oh, I remember breaking… how many? Like, seven lamps in four years?” 

“I don’t know why I kept replacing lamps after the third one,” Marie’s brow furrows in frustration at just the memory. “You’re so stubborn--you just had to choreograph in the foyer no matter what I said.” 

“Hey, I grew out of that habit, okay?” Jongin smiles. “I choreograph in my room now.” 

“Thank goodness.” There’s a silence in which Jongin zips his suitcase up and Marie pulls herself up to sit on Jongin’s bed, watching as her son slowly surveys the room for anything else he might need. 

“Kai,” she says suddenly, and Jongin turns to look at her. “You know…You know I’ve never considered you or your dancing as an investment, right?” 

“Mom?” Jongin sits down on the bed next to her and wraps a long arm around her shoulders. “Geez, do you have to cry after every sentence…” Jongin mutters, but he still reaches for a tissue on his nightstand. 

“You’re my gift. Your dancing, having to scold you and raise you, all of it. You’re my child and I never  _ once _ felt like I was waiting for you to pay me back for any of these years or all the time I spent as a parent.” 

“Oh.” Jongin’s throat suddenly closes up and he swallows hard. “Oh.” Marie nods and accepts the tissue gratefully. 

“Watching you dance and grow up is the greatest gift of my life. So you--” Jongin’s face crumples and he bursts into tears now, too, burying his face in his hands. “Just go and do what you worked so hard for,” Marie finishes, pulling Jongin into her arms. “I am so proud of you.” 

\--

Sehun glances past a snoring Jongin and out of the small window as the plane touches down. As soon as he gets cellular service back, he texts Jongdae. 

[Sehun]

just landed

[Dae-hyung]

:D

“Jong.” Sehun shakes his shoulder lightly, but Jongin doesn’t wake up. Sehun sighs, grabs his arm, and physically tugs him upright. “ _ Jong _ .” 

“Huh?” Jongin rubs his eyes and blinks at Sehun. “Are we here?” 

“Yup, I texted Dae. Let’s go.” 

“This is so exciting,” Jongin giggles at Sehun’s side. “I’m so happy you came with me. Where-to for luggage?” 

“Just follow the signs, it’s not that deep,” Sehun’s words are uninterested, but his face says otherwise; his eyes are just as bright as Jongin’s and he laughs easily at all of their banter. 

“I just know we’re gonna get lost,” Jongin cackles happily. “I can’t wait to end up in some sketchy alley at three in the morning with you.” 

“Bro sameeee. That’s the plan.” Sehun loops an easy arm over Jongin.

\--

“Sehunnie!” An achingly familiar voice calls his name, and Sehun’s heart leaps into his throat. Jongdae runs towards the two of them and crashes into Sehun unabashedly. “Sehunnie!” Jongdae looks up at him and Sehun can barely breathe. He looks positively vibrant, ever so slightly tanned from the constant Californian sunshine, beaming up at Sehun with that gorgeous kitten smile of his. When he laughs in delight, Sehun very nearly kisses Jongdae right then and there. 

“Hyung,” he chokes out instead. “Can’t breathe.” 

“Oh, sorry.” The grip around Sehun’s waist loosens incrementally. “I missed you so much,” Jongdae tells him, and Sehun murmurs likewise. “I’m so glad you’re here.” 

“Uh, hello?” A thoroughly amused Jongin cuts through the conversation. “Damn, I feel like I’m third-wheeling here.” 

“Lemme greet my honorary boyfriend in peace,” Jongdae insists with a laugh, but he (unfortunately) unwraps himself from around Sehun and crowds Jongin for a hug as well. “Nini, I owe you so much for bringing my Sehunnie back to me. Congratulations!” 

“If I didn’t know,” Jongin grouses, “I would think you two are seriously dating.” 

“Oh, you won’t tell Seojun, will you?” Jongdae steps back with fake concern dripping out of his voice. 

“Hmph.” Jongin’s smile is uncontainable. “Only if I  _ finally  _ get to meet your mystery girl.” 

“Of course!” Jongdae grabs the handle of Sehun’s suitcase and tugs it from his grasp. “How was your flight?” 

“Pretty good. Sorry, it’s still pretty early,” Jongin apologizes, but Jongdae waves it away.

“I’d be offended if you asked anyone else to pick you up. Where are you two staying?” 

“The Extended Stay motel for now,” Sehun supplies, taking one of Jongin’s two suitcases for him while Jongin texts Kyungsoo that he’s safe and sound. “Just until Jong starts filming in a few days and we can move into the condo that the crew provides.” 

“Sounds great,” Jongdae muses, fishing for his keys in his pocket as they walk out of the airport together. “You guys must be hungry since you woke up so early… I’ll text Seojun we’re coming back now. She’s an amazing cook.” 

“Better than me?” Sehun asks teasingly. 

“No, but it cuts close. I’m glad I don’t have to cook for myself anymore.” Jongdae laughs. “I should’ve learned in college, honestly…” 

“Wait.” Jongin gets into the backseat of the car while Sehun takes shotgun. “Do you two live together?” 

“Yeah.” Jongdae says innocently, and Sehun smacks his head against the top of the doorframe. “ _ Oof _ , Sehunnie, careful.” 

“OW, fuck--you  _ live  _ together?!” Sehun’s jaw is slack in surprise. “How come you never told me?!” 

“I didn’t?” 

“KIM JONGDAE!”

\--

“Are you back?” A soft female voice calls from the kitchen of the quaint apartment. Sehun looks around the minimally decorated living room. The feeling of the place is still very new, but all the decor is tasteful and deliberate. Sehun smiles faintly when he sees the framed picture of all of them from Christmas on the wall, then catches sight of a picture of him with Seojun. Everywhere Sehun looks, there’s traces of the Jongdae he knows and loves, but there’s also an unfamiliarity and a lingering smell of rose-scented perfume that unsettles Sehun deeply.

“Yep,” Jongdae’s voice has lost its teasing tone that he carries with friends, and it’s gentler, sweeter. “Guys, come in. Seojun--this is Jongin, and this is Sehun. My good friends all the way back from high school. And finally,” Jongdae smiles a little, “You get to meet her. This is my girlfriend, Seojun.” A petite girl with long, wavy brown hair wearing a flowy white summer blouse turns around from the stove and offers a friendly smile at the two boys. Sehun studies her for a fleeting moment. She’s Jongdae’s type, he decides with a quiet sigh; cute and delicate and apparently incredibly smart. He reaches out to shake her hand. 

“So you’re the honorary boyfriend.” Sehun’s lips can’t help but twitch at this form of recognition. “He always talks about you.” 

“Gah, you cheat so openly, hyung,” Sehun admonishes, but Jongdae’s bright smile only widens. She turns to Jongin. 

“And you’re the dancer? Congratulations!” 

“Thank you,” Jongin murmurs with a smile. “It’s so nice to finally meet you!” 

“Nice to meet you both,” Seojun turns back to the stove while Jongdae wraps his arms around her and brushes a fleeting kiss against her temple. Jongin smiles at the sight; Sehun’s heart twists painfully. 

“Hyung, bathroom?” 

“In the foyer, first door on your right. Jongin, please, have a seat. Do you want some tea?” Jongdae’s voice fades away as Sehun slips into the bathroom and locks the door quietly. He glances down at his trembling hands, then up at his reflection. On the outside, he looks completely fine. But he exhales heavily as Seojun’s tinkling laugh comes from the kitchen at something that Jongin said. 

_ What did you fucking expect?  _ He mentally pummels himself.  _ You said you wanted to meet her. You know he has a girlfriend.  _ But Jongdae’s genteel actions and the way his eyes shone when he looked at Seojun still felt like a punch straight to his gut. Why can’t Jongdae look at him like that, hug him like that, use that tone-- _ STOP. _ Sehun shakes his head a little to bring himself back to reality.  _ He’s  _ **_not_ ** _ in love with you. _ For all his flirting and teasing, Sehun had known, deep down, that it was just Jongdae’s way of showing his affection for him. He’ll be Jongdae’s best friend and nothing more, because that’s all he can be. 

“I fucking hate men,” Sehun whispers before exiting the bathroom to return to the small group. 

\--

As luck would have it, Sehun fares decently well with Jongdae. The two fall back into old habits effortlessly, and Sehun is almost afraid of how  _ right _ it feels to accept Jongdae’s late-night text inquiries. 

“Would my Sehunnie like to get ice cream?” 

As they walk side-by-side along the sidewalk with only flickering street lamps and the occasional raucous call of laughter from some group of partygoers from the next block down to serve as ambience, Sehun allows himself to luxuriate in how Jongdae only asked for him. Not “and Jongin”, not “with Seojun”. Just “my Sehunnie.”

“Where’s Jongin?” Jongdae questions curiously when there’s lull in the amiable conversation. “Still at Millenium Dance Complex?” 

“Yeah. He booked a lot of group lessons and solo practice time before filming starts in a few days,” Sehun answers, glancing down at his watch. It’s almost eleven, but even the nighttime air is balmy and dry. A tepid breeze ruffles Sehun’s shirt, but does nothing to lower the temperature. “He’s been practicing a lot.” 

“I figured,” Jongdae muses, tousling his hair back from his face. Sehun watches him out of his peripheral vision. Such a simple gesture, yet it should be illegal when Jongdae does it. “I love him, but truth be told, I was hoping I could get you alone tonight.” 

“Mhm,” Sehun hums, ignoring the painful throbbing of his heartbeat. He rises to the bait. “Why?” 

“I just wanted it to feel like old times. Like when we were still in high school.” Jongdae heaves an uncharacteristically heavy sigh. “Everything is so different now, and we’re all doing different things.” 

“Is that bad?” Sehun inquires, giving up on pretense and turning to look at Jongdae. When he walks under the dirty orange-yellow light of a streetlamp, Jongdae’s face shines with damp perspiration and shadows accentuate his features; intelligent, quiet eyes, high cheekbones that Sehun wants to drop kisses on, and raven black hair that’s neat even when ruffled. 

“No. Work is a different type of stress, but I enjoy it.” Jongdae shrugs. “But now, looking back, I feel like the most carefree time of my life was in high school, hanging out with you and the gang. Those memories and that kind of happiness is my favorite. I want to feel that again, Sehunnie.”

“Are you overworking yourself?” Sehun asks worriedly, not very relieved when Jongdae shakes his head in negation. 

“I’m just feeling nostalgic this summer,” Jongdae chuckles. “I don’t wanna be old.” 

“You’re not old.” Sehun scoffs. “It’s not that deep, hyung. Are you gonna be late-night philosophical now?” 

“No, no. We’re just talking. I’m okay with change,” Jongdae shuffles his feet a little, kicking at a stray rock. “It’s inevitable. Just look at you,” Jongdae turns to meet Sehun’s gaze and smiles when he sees the younger already surveying him. “You’re all grown up. Taller than me and so handsome.” 

“I haven’t changed that much,” Sehun murmurs. “Neither have you.” 

“Do you still like raspberry sorbet?” 

“Duh,” Sehun rolls his eyes. “Do you still like butterscotch?” 

“Of course!” Jongdae beams when Sehun pretends to gag. 

“You’re  _ allowed _ to have an opinion,” Sehun declares, brashly looping an arm around the shorter male and dragging him along the sidewalk under his sweaty armpit amidst shrieks of protest, “but I hope you’re happy knowing you’re wrong.” 

“I am not.” 

“You are.” Sehun laughs, loud and clear into the night when Jongdae wriggles out from Sehun’s arm and shoves him onto the empty street in playful retaliation.

\--

A couple days later, Jongin’s phone rings when its owner is in the shower, so Sehun puts down his knife and shuffles over to answer the call, unsurprised when Kyungsoo’s voice murmurs a sleepy greeting. 

“H’lo, Kyungsoo-hyung,” Sehun greets, tilting his head and pressing the phone against his shoulder to return to slicing chicken breast in the small kitchenette. “Jongin’s in the shower right now.” 

“Did he dance his solo today?” Kyungsoo inquires.

“Yes, he just got back. I’m making dinner and then we were going to go out.” 

“Ah, okay. Can you tell him call me back when he’s free?” 

“He’ll only be a few more minutes,” Sehun tells him as the showerhead turns off. “How have you been, hyung?” 

“Okay. Busy. Tired of study and college.” Kyungsoo muffles a yawn. “Want to go back.” 

“I bet,” Sehun murmurs. “Jong misses you, too.” 

“Is he better? He sound better, looks healthy when I see him…” 

“Yes. Yes, he’s really great.” 

“Me? I know,” Jongin opens the door to the tiny bathroom, letting out a puff of steam with it. “Is it Soo?” 

“Nini,” Kyungsoo murmurs, picking up on the faint voice and Sehun takes the hint with a chuckle. 

“Take care, hyung. Jong, you don’t wanna put some clothes on first?” Sehun appraises the towel wrapped around Jongin’s waist as he hands the phone over. 

“Don’t put clothes on,” are Kyungsoo’s first words when Jongin picks up the phone. 

“But you can’t even see me,” Jongin trills, rummaging through his suitcase to find a good outfit. 

“I can imagine. How are you, baby? How was solo?”

“It was great!” Jongin beams. “I think I did really well. The judges didn’t give any feedback and we won’t know until we start filming who made it to the Top 20 and who didn’t, but I think this was probably the best performance I’ve given so far. It felt amazing.” 

“Nice,” Sehun calls from a few feet away. There’s not much to the small room, just a bathroom, kitchenette, and two twin beds that sit a few feet away from each other as well as a few threadbare pieces of furniture, but it’s enough for the two friends. Their own budget isn’t nearly as lenient or luxurious as the production crews’. 

“Thanks, Sehun!” 

“Yes, nice,” Kyungsoo agrees. “I am proud of you as always.” 

“I almost wish they would air the solos,” Jongin laughs a little. “This is the one performance I really wouldn’t mind showcasing.” 

“I am sure you will get to perform it again,” Kyungsoo reassures him. “I like the video you send me. I think it was good as well.” 

“That was just practice,” Jongin dismisses, pulling out two t-shirts. “Sehun, which one?” 

“The fuckboy one,” Sehun jabs at the white one with artfully ripped holes in the shoulder and torso. 

“Nini,” Kyungsoo’s voice takes on a different tone after hearing Sehun’s comment. “I can make tonight even more fun for you.” 

“O-oh.” Jongin flushes pink even though his cheeks were already warm from the hot shower. 

“Is that a yes?” 

“No--yes--what are you planning?” Jongin hisses, glancing back at Sehun, who dutifully pretends not to notice. Kyungsoo’s voice is full of barely concealed mirth. 

“Can you get a few minutes alone before you leave?” 

Jongin laughs helplessly. “ _ How do I explain to Sehun? _ ” 

“I think he would understand.” Kyungsoo is definitely smirking. “And I believe you will come home alone, correct?” 

“Sehun?” Jongin pulls the phone away from his ear. “Are you planning on coming home tonight?” 

“Probably not.” Sehun shrugs nonchalantly. “Why? You horny?” 

“I--” Jongin opens then shuts his mouth with a snap. 

“Jong, you’re talking to  _ me  _ about sex,” Sehun deadpans. “I don’t give a fuck if you sexile me.” 

“Well, I do,” Jongin mutters under his breath. The color in his cheeks is creeping to his ears now as well. 

“Then tell Kyungsoo to kiss his Nini dick goodbye.” 

“WHAT--okay, fine.” Jongin relents helplessly, covering the receiver with one hand. “I just need a few minutes before we leave…”

“ _ Minutes? _ ” Sehun suppresses a laugh. “Is it even fun for him?” 

“That’s not what I mean!” Jongin shrieks indignantly while Sehun lets his laughter escape. Kyungsoo chuckles as well. 

“Okay, okay. I don’t know what you’re up to, but I’ll go take a walk in the lobby, okay?” Sehun’s still chortling as he shuts the door behind him. 

“This better be worth it,” Jongin whispers into the receiver, sighing embarrassedly. 

“Baby, when have I ever disappointed you?” Kyungsoo coos. “Now, did you bring your toys with you?” 

“Not everything,” Jongin mutters, fumbling for the innocent canvas bag tucked into a corner of his suitcase. “I assume you’re talking about the, ah, uh--” 

“Yes. The plug.” 

“I brought it,” Jongin murmurs, pulling it out along with a bottle of lube. “What gives, hyung?” 

“I want you to wear it for me all night,” Kyungsoo hums. “So I can play with you, too.” 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin stutters. 

“Jongin.” 

“ _ Kyungsoo. _ ” 

“That is my name.” 

“Are you serious?” Jongin asks faintly, holding the toy up between his ring and middle finger and scrutinizing it. 

“If you okay with it. Do you want to?” 

“N-not--I-- _ yes,”  _

“Then stretch yourself out. Sehun will be back soon,” Kyungsoo tells him rather matter-of-factly. “Stay on the phone, want to hear you.” 

“Hyung, this is so  _ kinky, _ ” Jongin whimpers, but even so, he flips the bottle cap open and reaches behind himself with a slick finger. “Fuck.” 

“You sound so pretty,” Kyungsoo murmurs, a little breathless himself. “Want to see you.” 

“Do you want to video call?” Jongin gasps while scissoring his fingers. 

“No, it is okay. Later,” Kyungsoo’s voice is full of promise. 

“Mhm,” Jongin can’t help but moan as the plug slips in and he clenches tightly around it. “Okay,” he wipes his fingers on the discarded towel. “I-I’m good.” 

“Yes, you are.” Kyungsoo chuckles. “Good boy.” 

“This is weird,” Jongin announces, gingerly standing up and taking a few steps. “Really, really weird.” 

“Baby,” Kyungsoo drops his low, teasing tone for just a moment. “If you do not like it or want to stop, just use the colors. Do you know?” 

“Yes. I know what they mean,” Jongin murmurs. “Red, yellow, green.” 

“Okay. Good. Always your safety first,” Kyungsoo tells him. ”You want to stop, I will never be mad,” Kyungsoo assures him. “Can my baby give me a color right now?” 

“Green.” A sudden vibration makes Jongin yelp in surprise and drop the pair of ripped jeans he was holding. “My Nini,” Kyungsoo’s voice is half an octave lower than usual. “What would people think if they knew? They see you all sexy and dangerous like a--ah, what did Sehun say?” 

“Fuckboy?” Jongin asks faintly, bending down to pick up the jeans, then dropping to his knees as the buzzing continues. “Ahhh, hyung…” 

“Yes. But they do not know you are my needy, sensitive Nini. And this is to remind you that you are mine.” The intensity of the vibrations increases even more than before and Jongin lets out a small whimper of protest. 

“I know I’m yours. I w-wanna be yours.” 

“Okay,” Kyungsoo concedes softly. “But I want to tease you and make you feel good. I can do that, right?” 

“Mmmm.” Jongin makes no attempt to get up even when the buzzing ceases. “Go easy on me,” he begs after a few more seconds. “Please, hyung.” 

“Maybe. Get dressed, sweetheart. And send me picture of yourself.”

\--

“Cali boys,” Sehun states as a group walks past them, “are hot.” 

“Sure…” Jongin glances up at them uninterestedly. “Are they  _ really _ ?” 

“At least, he is.” Sehun nods to a tall, blond boy with a jawline to rival Jongin’s sitting at the bar. Jongin studies him for a minute. 

“He looks like he walked out of one of those surfer dude movies.” 

“I know,” Sehun smirks. “And it’s  _ hot. _ ” 

“You think he’s into boys?” 

“Doesn’t hurt to ask,” Sehun shrugs, sliding out of the booth. “Are you going to dance?” 

“Maybe,” Jongin mumbles, shifting and feeling the plug move under him as well. It’s been about thirty minutes, and so far, Kyungsoo’s been behaving himself. But instead of feeling relieved, Jongin’s strung out and jittery with anticipation. “Go get surfer dude first.” 

“On it.” When Sehun moves away, Jongin reaches for his phone. 

[Jongin]

this isn’t fair :(((

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Why not?

[Jongin]

I don’t get any leverage against you :V

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Baby, you are my tease

♥

[Jongin]

uHm???? 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Do not act so innocent

You know what your pictures do to me

[Jongin]

:((( you’re making me nervous

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

;) 

Go have fun

Jongin looks up as Sehun returns empty-handed. “No?” 

“Yes.” Sehun smiles. “He said he wants to dance. What about you?” 

“OK,” Jongin agrees easily, standing up with a slight wince. He welcomes the distraction, but the tease is still there--the tip of the plug just barely brushes past his prostate if he moves suddenly or jumps up and down with the crowd, as if constantly reminding him of Kyungsoo’s proverbial presence. Ten minutes later, Jongin screeches uncharacteristically loud as a low, constant vibration sends a jolt of arousal straight to his dick. Jongin takes a deep breath in. The vibration definitely isn’t enough to get him off; it’s not even meant to arouse any suspicion. But Jongin tugs his shirt down nervously as he feels himself get semi-hard. A text makes his back pocket vibrate as well. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Color?

[Jongin]

green

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Just ride it out~ ;)

So Jongin does. He accepts the low, simmering pool of heat in his gut and loses himself in the euphoria and mass of sweaty, grinding bodies alongside Sehun. Jongin finds himself getting relentlessly teased and strung along while Kyungsoo plays with the plug’s settings to his heart’s content. As the night drags on, Kyungsoo increases the intensity more often, causing Jongin to bite back his moans and fist his hands into the hem of his shirt occasionally to keep himself grounded. The pleasure that Jongin’s experiencing makes dancing and grinding feel ten times better. He can only imagine what he looks like; all blissed out and sultry, eyes half-closed and head thrown back, not even bothering to hide the very obvious bulge in the front of his tight jeans now as he sways with the music. There are more than a few wandering hands on him throughout the course of the night, but Jongin doesn’t even care; all he’s thinking about is how loved he is, the pressure on his prostate creeping through his entire body and filling him with the intimate, heady knowledge of Kyungsoo’s omnipresence. He barely registers Sehun’s arm draped around his shoulder and hot breath on his neck. 

“Jongin,” Sehun mumbles into his ear, “I’m leaving now.” 

“O-okay,” Jongin manages, shaking with sensitivity as he rides a particularly powerful vibration. “Have fun.” 

“I will. You, too.” Sehun smirks at his best friend before walking swiftly away, his hookup trailing after him rather eagerly. With Sehun gone, Jongin decides it’s time to take his leave as well, slipping out from the crowd and reaching for his phone. 

  
  


[Jongin]

Sehun left so im going home now

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

OK, baby

Call me when you get back 

Be safe

[Jongin]

um

i rly liked it

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I thought you would.

I am not done with you yet ;) 

Kyungsoo, always a man of his word, ramps up the vibration relentlessly during the short walk home. At one point, Jongin has to stop and leans a forearm against a brick wall, letting out a small whimper into the dark night and pressing his other palm into his erection to relieve some pressure. He  _ needs _ more _.  _ He’s been hard for hours now, and the coy press up against his sweet spot is becoming more and more unbearable with every step he takes. Jongin’s a block away from his motel when he breaks, calling Kyungsoo and whimpering as soon as Kyungsoo picks up. 

“ _ Kyungsoo. _ ” Jongin makes out brokenly, leaning against the wall. 

“Ohhh,  _ fuck _ .” Kyungsoo sucks in a slow breath. “You sound beautiful.” 

“Please, please,” Jongin begs, not even sure what he’s pleading for. “I’m almost home.” 

“You can do it, Nini,” Kyungsoo’s voice is quiet and oh so deep. Jongin bites his lower lip and whimpers when Kyungsoo takes the vibrations down one notch. “I will take care of you when you get back.” 

“O-okay,” Jongin clings to his word and holds it desperately, tamping down on the last of his self-control as he makes his way back to the motel and jabs at the elevator button impatiently. “I’m in the elevator,” he murmurs, knowing Kyungsoo will take full advantage of his position. As predicted, Kyungsoo chuckles and increases the intensity, causing Jongin to moan lowly in the metal box. 

“Pretty,” Kyungsoo groans. “So needy and desperate.” 

“I--” Jongin fishes around his pockets for his hotel key card. Upon pushing the door open, he stammers out a, “I’m home.” 

“Video call,” Kyungsoo says simply. Jongin strips himself of his sweat-soaked shirt and already has his belt half-undone when Kyungsoo calls him back. 

“ _ God _ ,” Kyungsoo swears loudly when he sees Jongin, “You are so hot.” 

“I need you,” Jongin whimpers, pulling down his zipper and aiming his camera to the full length mirror which he’s standing in front of. Kyungsoo eats the view up. He was already half-hard from Jongin’s broken, needy pleas, but now he feels himself become fully erect as Jongin tears his tight jeans down his legs and promptly sighs as some pressure is relieved. 

“I’m so hard for you,” Jongin tells his boyfriend, who looks like he’s having difficulty breathing. “I--I really loved that.” 

“I was thinking about you the whole time,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “Thinking about how hot you look when you dance and how pretty you are when you needy. Those two combine and I--” Kyungsoo shakes his head. “No words.” Jongin laughs shakily. 

“C-could we do this again when you come back?” 

“We are not done with this time yet,” Kyungsoo smirks, but his head is reeling with the possibility of a next time. “And you are thinking about next time? You like it that much?”

“Yes-- _ ahhh _ ,” Jongin’s legs give out and he stumbles to his bed. “How many levels…” Jongin moans brokenly when Kyungsoo ramps up the intensity yet again. 

“Five. I keep you on three at highest when you out, right now is four. Five make you come last time.” At the mention of release and the last time they’d played with the plug, Jongin writhes. 

“Hyung, I  _ need  _ it.” 

“Look,” Kyungsoo tells him, ignoring his pleas and breathy noises. Jongin keens even more when he sees the erotic visual of Kyungsoo’s hand pulling long, firm strokes over his thick cock. 

“C-can I touch myself?” Jongin’s hands are fisted tightly in the sheets as he humps himself against the mattress. “Please.” 

“How bad you want to come?” 

“So bad, hyung, please,” Jongin nearly sobs when Kyungsoo rapidly flicks the intensity between three and four. He’s been teased relentlessly for hours now. “Please,” Jongin begs. 

“Let me see,” Kyungsoo requests, gaze hungry. “You sound so needy and desperate right now,” he murmurs. Jongin moans in relief when he wraps a hand around his cock. There’s enough precum to ease the dry slide, and when Jongin drives the pad of his thumb into his slit, it takes all of his self-control to not explode right then and there. 

“Oh,” Jongin moans, then a shout is wrenched from his throat when Kyungsoo turns the vibrations on to max capacity and frequency. 

“Does that feel good? Hyung knows what you like,” Kyungsoo purrs. “You look beautiful, sweetheart. I want to fuck you.” 

“Please,” Jongin moans at just the thought. 

“I will,” Kyungsoo promises. “I want to tease you until you are pretty and crying for me. Then stuff you full with my cock and hold you open. Bet you will still be tight.” 

“I want it,” Jongin feels tears prick at the corner of his eyes. “Hyung, m’gonna come.” 

“No.” 

“N-no?” Jongin’s voice is small and pathetic. This, this is far too cruel. “Hyung…” 

“Color?” 

“Green,” Jongin whimpers. 

“Wait for hyung,” Kyungsoo growls. “Come with me.” 

“I-I can’t,” Jongin forces his hand to slow down its movements but his hips buck up involuntarily in protest. That, combined with the pressure on his prostate, begins to overwhelm Jongin. “Please let me come,” Jongin sobs. 

“Baby, you sound so good.” The slick sounds of Kyungsoo jacking off make Jongin even more desperate. “Love it when you beg.” 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin moans brokenly. 

“Count to ten,” Kyungsoo tells him huskily. “Can you do that for me? Count to ten and then I will let you come, make you feel so good.” 

“One,” Jongin screws his eyes shut in ecstasy. “T-two.” Kyungsoo fumbles with the plug’s remote and turns the vibration’s frequency to patterns of long and short sporadic buzzes, causing Jongin to flinch and whimper. “Three, four, five.” 

“Good boy,” Kyungsoo soothes. “My Nini.” 

“S-six--I’m not gonna make it,” Jongin whines, gripping the sheets so tightly that his fingernails bite into the palms of his hands even through the fabric. Every muscle screams at him to let go of his control and give into the pleasure. “Fuck, fuck, s-seven.” 

“I’m close,” Kyungsoo hums, and Jongin keens. 

“Eightninetenfuckletmecome--” 

“Come,” Kyungsoo says quietly, and Jongin arches back when he finally,  _ finally  _ orgasms, throwing his head back and squeezing his eyes shut as he half-sobs his way through the seemingly endless high. Kyungsoo’s breathing is ragged and sated, sighing out a “Jonginie…” while Jongin sees stars. Jongin’s left breathless by the time he comes down from his high, heaving in gasps of air, thoughts still meandering somewhere far above the ragged 2-star motel. 

“Welcome back, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo’s warm, comforting voice pulls Jongin’s head out of the clouds. “That look like it was good.” 

“Way more than good,” Jongin murmurs. “S’amazing.” 

“I know I am.” Kyungsoo preens and Jongin rolls his eyes, too spent to argue. 

“I love you,” Jongin tells his boyfriend, picking up his phone and heading to the bathroom. “So much.” 

“Likewise, sweetheart. I am proud of you.” 

“And I miss you,” Jongin murmurs, reaching for a makeup wipe now. “But I gotta take a shower.” 

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says softly. “I miss you, too. Talk soon.” 

“I’ll call you tomorrow.” Jongin wiggles his fingers at the camera. “Thank you for tonight,” he murmurs. “It felt like a date. A… a weird date, but a date.” 

“I am happy you like it.” Kyungsoo smiles. “Sleep well, my Nini bear.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sehun is right, butterscotch ice cream is disgusting. And Kyungsoo is a MASSIVE kinky nerd, wbk.   
> I MISSED YOU GUYS! Aranee did too! I hope you all liked the new chapter~ Hoping to update every few days from now on until some other unforeseen force in my life pulls me away from writing again because I lack prioritizing skills ;-; But yes! I'm back! And it is SHINeeversary! \\(^_^)/ Happy SHINEEVERSARY!   
> -  
> Thank you to Aranee as always for being the *ultimate* power woman in my life and sending me a Choi Minho ass gif minutes before my Comparative Government and Politics final, I aced that shit. Oh, and for reading all my smut and being my proverbial tiger mom. It's very endearing. :3


	12. just getting started

“You’re neglecting your extensions again,” Kana, one of the ballet instructors at Millennium Dance Complex, chides Jongin gently. Jongin refocuses and straightens out his back leg. “Even when you’re concentrating on her, you have to think about how you look as well.” Jongin nods and places his hands back on his partner’s waist for the simple pas de deux group class. The rest of class goes by without a hitch, and at the end, Jongin bows low to his partner with an amiable grin. 

“You’re on ‘So You Think You Can Dance’, aren’t you?” His partner asks when Jongin walks out of the studio to pick up his bag. Jongin looks up in surprise and nods. 

“You…?” 

“I watched your audition, I’m a huge fan of the show. I thought I recognized you when you walked in,” the girl mumbles around a mouthful of bobby pins. “I didn’t introduce myself when we were paired. I’m Laura.” 

“Laura, I’m Kai,” Jongin shakes her hand. “Thanks for helping me out with class today.” 

“No problem. You’re a hip-hop dancer, right?” When Jongin nods, she smiles. “You’re a really good ballet dancer as well. You did a great job keeping up with the class; Kana’s quite fast-paced when she teaches.” 

“I’m surprised I kept up as well,” Jongin admits. “I’m just trying to expand my range of styles for the show right now. I took ballet when I was really young, but it’s definitely been a while.” 

“Well, you did just fine!” Laura finishes redoing her hairstyle and offers him a smile when the final bobby pin is placed into her hair. “At least you didn’t drop me.” Jongin shares a laugh with her. “I hope I’ll keep seeing you around?” 

“You’ll definitely keep seeing me around MDC. I’m planning on taking a bunch of lessons whenever I have free time.” 

“Gotcha.” Laura waves goodbye while Jongin collects himself with a drink of water to attend his next class, hip-hop masterclass with Ian. He glances down at his phone while he’s at it to see if he’s missed any text messages. 

[Sehunnie]

img.8090 

having fun? 

[Jongin]

i AM having fun ^_^

where are u guys? looks fancy!

[Sehunnie]

at some art museum

dae wanted me to see the naked ppl

[Jongin]

y’all are weird lmfaoo

[Sehunnie]

dicks dont look this good irl

img.8091

[Jongin]

they rly don’t but i didnt need to see taht

O_o

[Sehunnie]

yes you did

idealism is beautiful at the surface but corrupted at its core

[Jongin]

ur taking words out of dae’s mouth

ur not that smart

[Sehunnie]

you’d be right

dae’s waxing poetic about some painting and im gonna explode from boredom

[Jongin]

nah it looks like ur having fun

i gtg next class

[Sehunnie]

damn just gonna leave me

… 

k bye

Jongin shoots off a quick text to Kyungsoo just to tell him that he’s going to class (and that he misses ‘hyungie’) before slipping back into the studio. At the front of the crowded group, Ian catches Jongin’s eye in the mirror when he enters and nods kindly to acknowledge his presence, to which Jongin bows slightly before starting preliminary stretches even though his body is still warm from ballet earlier. 

“Okay,” Ian calls, and Jongin looks up along with everyone else. “How is everyone?” A general murmur of ‘good’ runs through the room. “Sounds good! Then let’s get started. Today’s theme is  _ isolation. _ ” 

\--

“Sehunnie, come look at this.” Sehun glances up from reading a plaque with only vague interest and tails Jongdae’s retreating figure into yet another room filled with paintings, content to simply bask in spending time alone with Jongdae. After all, in Sehun’s humble opinion, Kim Jongdae is the most gorgeous piece of art in the whole museum. 

“Isn’t it pretty? It’s John Singer Sargent,” Jongdae cooes. “The idea itself is so gorgeous.” 

“Pretty,” Sehun agrees, fixated on Jongdae’s smile. “Who’s he?” 

“He was an American artist who is known for his oil portraits, but he also did watercolor landscapes of Tuscany.” Jongdae motions to the one they’re standing in front of at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art. 

“Yeah?” Sehun asks, just to hear Jongdae talk some more. 

“I come here a lot just to see these. They’re Impressionism,” Jongdae tells Sehun eagerly. “Sargent strived to capture the tantalizing beauty of Europe’s landscapes with a single glance.” 

“Huh?” 

“Impressionism is about open composition and qualities of light,” Jongdae explains. “Vague but sharp brushstrokes and hazy realism. To an untrained eye, the painting would just look sloppy,” Jongdae shrugs. “But it’s about the fleeting beauty that you see in any given second. A momentary, overall transient first impression.” 

“Uh huh.” Truth be told, Jongdae’s explanation had gone straight over Sehun’s head, but Sehun wasn’t about to let him know that. 

“Close your eyes,” Jongdae asks all of a sudden. 

“Why?” Sehun snorts. 

“It’s easier to demonstrate than explain. Just close your eyes,” Jongdae smiles up at him, and who is Sehun to refuse him anything? Sehun sighs and lets his eyelids flutter shut. 

“Now open them.” When Sehun obeys, he immediately focuses on the forming vision of Jongdae standing in front of him, smiling coyly at Sehun with sparkling, intelligent eyes. Before Sehun has time to fully process the image, Jongdae whirls Sehun around by placing his hands on Sehun’s waist, forcing him to turn and mourn the loss of Jongdae in his fuzzy line of vision, if only for a minute. 

“Now if I asked you to paint what you saw, that’d be Impressionism,” Jongdae says quietly, and Sehun turns around. “It’s about grasping the moment and being able to capture that feeling. Living life presently in every second.” 

“Woah.” The depth of the moment hits Sehun and he suddenly finds himself reeling with the small lesson that Jongdae had unknowingly delivered. “That was actually really deep.” 

“Wasn’t it?” Jongdae offers him a small, almost sad smile. “I know. It hits you somewhere that you didn’t even know existed.” 

“Yeah,” Sehun manages. 

“That’s the beauty of Sargent.” Jongdae turns back to look at the painting. “He managed to capture everything in this ephemeral, otherworldly quality that’s just… tantalizing. Even his portraits. They’re realistic but everything about them draws you in.” Jongdae turns around and gasps as a warm body engulfs him. “Sehunnie?” 

Sehun swallows hard to get rid of the painful ache in his throat and pulls Jongdae close to his chest. After a minute, Jongdae’s arms creep around Sehun’s waist and squeeze lightly as well. “Hey,” Jongdae chuckles quietly, but he doesn’t get an answer back. 

“I love you,” Sehun whispers to the Sargent painting that he’s facing, but he doesn’t get an answer back. 

\--

“Sehun?” Jongin calls into the condo the next day. They’d finally gotten situated in the small apartment-like living area that the production crew had provided for them once filming had officially begun. There isn’t much to the condo; just a kitchen, one king-sized bed, a large bathroom, and a small living room, but Jongin’s more than happy with the arrangement. “I’m leaving!” 

“Good luck with filming,” Sehun calls after a moment’s silence, appearing from the bedroom. He offers a small smile. 

“Are you okay?” Jongin glances at his best friend worriedly. Ever since he’d come back from his ‘date’ with Jongdae yesterday, Sehun had been unusually quiet. Not that he ever spoke too much, but there was a brooding, lost energy around him that was enough to make Jongin deeply uncomfortable. “You’ve been hella weird since last night. Did you fight with Dae or something?” 

“Of course not.” Sehun shifts his weight slightly. “We’re fine.” 

“Mmkay…” Jongin wants to press the topic further, but one glance at his watch tells him he can’t afford a heart-to-heart conversation at the moment. “We’ll talk later, if you want,” Jongin offers. 

“Don’t worry about me, Jong.” Sehun ruffles his hair and shoos Jongin out the door before he’s late. “Go get em good.” 

“Thanks, Sehunnie.” 

\--

Jongin immediately spots Alan and Jenna in the holding room and makes his way over to them, greeting both of them with a huge hug despite the bundle of nerves in his stomach. The other 30 contestants aside from the trio are also familiar to Jongin, and they’re united by the feeling of trepidation as to who will get to advance on the “Green Mile” to the Top 20 in the show. As Jongin gingerly sits down on a chair to wait for the moderator, he’s keenly aware of just how many cameras are surrounding him. Every move that he makes is being recorded, and even though he knows he’s supposed to act natural, he can’t help but think about how he looks at every given second. He nervously flattens his bangs down to cover his eyes a little more. As he does, he’s still thinking about Sehun. There was something that struck him as odd the moment they had touched down in Los Angeles, and the feeling had only intensified throughout the past week that they’d been together. Sehun looked as if he was in a faraway place every time he returned back to the hotel (or now, the condo) after he met with Jongdae, and when the three had gone out for lunch a few days ago, Jongin hadn’t missed the strange, almost  _ longing _ looks that Sehun had snuck at Jongdae every few minutes. He pushes the first and most perceptible conclusion out of his mind almost immediately once it rises to the forefront of his thoughts.  _ There’s no way.  _ His train of thought is interrupted by Alan’s voice, and Jongin jerks slightly.

“--you nervous?” 

“Obviously.” Jongin laughs shakily. “How do you think you did at your performance?” 

“I was really confident when I was dancing, but now I have no idea.” Alan shrugs helplessly. “And I definitely didn’t think I’d be this jittery.” 

“Same,” Jongin murmurs. “I don’t know. This show just keeps me on my toes all the damn time.” 

“Right? I can’t tell, I have no idea what the judges are ever thinking or if I’m gonna make it or not.” Alan taps his foot impatiently against the ground. “How long are they going to make us wait?” 

“Knowing them? Another hour at least.” Both of their laughter is somewhat forced and definitely filled with nerves. Ten minutes later, the door opens and moderator Cat Deeley finally walks in. Every contestant's eyes are on her as she explains the rules. Each dancer is to go in front of the judges in the other room, sometimes alone, sometimes in pairs, to hear whether or not they’ll officially join the cast for the Top 20 of the show or not. 

“Fik-shun, you are first,” Cat ends her explanation.

Kai watches as Fik-shun disappears onto the Green Mile, the first of the 33 dancers to be called to hear his results. 

“So there’s no way that he didn’t make it, right?” Alan inquires just to have something to talk about while they wait. 

“If he didn’t make it, then I’ll just pack up and go home right now.” Jongin’s mouth twists to the side and he silently prays that he didn’t just drag Sehun all the way across the country for some week-long vacation only to go back home. 

“He’s back,” Jenna nudges the two men sitting in the seats on either side of her, and they look up to see Fik-shun walking back into the room of dancers, who all turn towards him curiously, only to watch him break into a huge smile. Jongin doesn’t approach him like the crowd of dancers who do, but he still rises and claps for the good news next to Alan and Jenna. Another hip-hop dancer is called and makes his way out of the room followed by two more after him; Jongin’s heart lurches when the third person comes out with a dejected look on his face. 

“Seems like they’re calling all the hip-hop dancers first,” Jenna remarks. Jongin doesn’t know whether to be relieved or even more distressed.

“Kai,” Cat calls out, and Alan offers him a comforting pat on the back while Jongin jumps up from his seat. He acutely feels at least five different cameras on him when he walks into the room and bows slightly before straightening up in front of the judges. 

“Kai,” Nigel acknowledges him, and there are a few smiles from the other judges as well when Jongin stops a few feet away from their table. “You clean up nicely!” 

“Thank you,” Jongin shifts slightly, glancing down at his street outfit, so unlike the athletic wear that he’d worn for most of the filming thus far. In retrospect, he should’ve expected a comment on his appearance. 

“How are you feeling?” 

“I’m nervous,” Jongin shakes out his sweaty palms and provides an apprehensive smile. 

“You don’t need to be,” Mary assures him, then she leans forward. “Now, do you remember what you said before you left Vegas Week?” Jongin lets out a laugh at his brashness, slightly embarrassed. 

“I said I’d prove why I belonged here if you’d give me the opportunity to do so,” he recites bashfully. 

“Yes. And we are more than willing to give you that opportunity.” Jongin closes his eyes and tilts his head back in shock as relief endorphins fill his entire body, making him feel like jelly. 

“Oh my god,” Jongin chokes out. He’s lightheaded, spinning on top of the world. He doesn’t even need to play up his reaction for the cameras; every bit of what he’s feeling is raw and unadulterated. “Top 20?” 

“Yes,” Nigel laughs at his question. “You made it!” 

“I MADE IT!” Jongin shrieks when he makes it back to the waiting room, and Alan nearly trips over a chair when he embraces Jongin fiercely. Jenna’s infectious laugh fills Jongin’s ears as well as she hugs him from behind, and suddenly Jongin’s surrounded by dancers who are just as happy for him. 

“I can’t believe it,” Jongin gasps. “I can’t believe I made it.” He basks in the moment for just a minute longer, then wishes Alan and Jenna and all the waiting dancers luck as he’s ushered out to talk about the filming schedule. Part of him wants to stay, to see if his friends will pass as well, but the other part of his brain is incredibly relieved that he’s made it past this milestone and is already racing home to tell his parents, Baekhyun and Chanyeol, Sehun, Jongdae, and Kyungsoo--beloved Kyungsoo--that  _ he made it.  _

“You’ll begin learning the group choreographies for the ‘Meet the Top 20’ performance starting from tomorrow,” the production crew tells him, handing a paper schedule to him. “There are three: one that’s solely hip-hop dancers, one with the other ten male contestants, and one with the entire group.” 

“Sounds good,” Jongin murmurs, glancing at the official schedule. It’s busy, but Jongin’s glad to see that he’ll be able to have some down time everyday as well as fit in classes at MDC throughout the whole time. 

“Any questions, Kai?” 

“No. No, I’m good.” Kai glances up and smiles. “Can I go back to see if my friends made it or not?” 

“Sure.” The crew dismisses him and Jongin creeps back into the room. It’s with a shout of joy that he leaves an hour later, as Alan and Jenna both make it through the Green Mile as well. 

\--

_ “I can’t believe we actually went live for the first few subjects. I keep staring at the monitoring graphs,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs while doing exactly that. They had moved Jikdo out of the closed beta and launched in Korea with the set of tutors who had participated in the test phase. But as much as he was staring at the numbers, nothing was happening.

_ “It hasn’t even been 10 minutes yet, we won’t see much traffic anytime soon _ ,” Junmyeon is far more reasonable. _ “It’s just a couple of school subjects so far as well. We need to attract more tutors first before we can expand our offering.” _

_ “I am so glad we got a good version of the digital whiteboard for math tutoring just in time,” _ Kyungsoo remarks. Luhan had done an exemplary job and helped them provide a good experience for pupils and tutors alike who will connect via Jikdo’s online platform to receive and give lessons respectively. Around 200 tutors and pupils had participated in testing, more than they had expected.  _ “Myeon, I can’t believe this is actually happening.” _

_ “You said that already.”  _

_ “Shush.” _ Kyungsoo’s far too excited to be put off by Junmyeon’s sarcasm.  _ “Students will be able to receive remote tutoring wherever they are by connecting to capable seniors on our platform. I know it’s just the first step, but… We just got a tiny bit closer to achieving our goal, Myeonnie.” _ It’s still surreal to Kyungsoo that the vision he’s had since he was a teenager is finally becoming a reality.

But a platform will only be a success if it gets actual engagement. Kyungsoo glares at his computer screen, as if the sheer force of his willpower would move the graph upwards when Kyungsoo’s phone rings. One glance at the caller ID and Kyungsoo immediately picks up. 

“Nini?” Kyungsoo asks, suddenly anxious about Jongin’s results as well as potential crashes coming up as soon as Jikdo will see user traffic. “Did you…?” A sniffle on the other side of the line makes his blood run ice cold with worry. “Baby, don’t cry,” he soothes almost immediately, motioning to Junmyeon that he’ll be one minute. He slips out of the library and sits down on the quiet, dark steps outside of the building as Jongin sighs shakily on the other side of the line. “You okay?” Kyungsoo asks softly, wishing more than ever that he were back with Jongin to comfort him. “It is okay, sweetheart.” 

“I--” Jongin’s voice drops down to a whisper and Kyungsoo strains to hear it. 

“What?” 

“You’re so  _ cute  _ when you get all sweet on me,” Jongin sounds like he’s giggling uncontrollably now. “I MADE IT!” 

“ _ Fuck, _ ” Kyungsoo swears passionately into the dark, warm June night as relief floods into him. “Fuck.” His heart is going a mile an hour. 

“I maaadeee it,” Jongin singsongs into the receiver. Kyungsoo can practically see the smile stretched across his face. “ImadeitImadeitImadeitImadeit. I’m in the TOP TWENTY, babe. TWENTY. TWO-ZERO.” And now Kyungsoo’s laughing as well, throaty chuckles that bubble up despite his half side-tracked mind. 

“You are excited,” Kyungsoo observes, stretching upwards lazily now that he knows there’s no fear of teary Nini. The ache in his back subsides just slightly. “And you should be. I am so, so proud of you. As always. Marie and Sam? Do they know?” Kyungsoo inquires. 

“Yes!” Jongin's voice is hitched, as if he’s jumping up and down. “I called them first since the time difference isn’t so bad. I didn’t want to wake you up so I was just going to text, but I guess since you picked up you’re still awake?” 

“No,” Kyungsoo deadpans. “I am sleeping.” 

“Funny, I didn’t know you talked in your sleep.” 

“I do now,” Kyungsoo’s face is stuck in a wide smile, as it always is when he hears Jongin’s excited, happy tone. His good mood is infectious. “I talk about how I miss you.” 

“I miss you, too,” Jongin tells him, the excitement fading out of his voice to be replaced by soft sincerity. “I wish you were here to celebrate.” 

“Go out tonight,” Kyungsoo urges. “Have fun.” 

“I can’t go out, I scheduled classes for this afternoon and filming starts early tomorrow. But it’s okay,” Jongin tells him before Kyungsoo can feel bad for him, “because I really, really like going to classes at MDC. All these amazing celebrities and dancers go there all the time and I can’t believe I get to see them and take the same classes as them. It just doesn’t feel real at all.” 

“But at least you are more… uhhh…” Kyungsoo falters. “Comfortable. With your fame.” 

“I’m not famous,” Jongin snorts. “Just a little YouTube following and my Instagram blew up a bit.” 

“Whatever you say,” Kyungsoo drops the argument, mostly because his brain isn’t articulating English well at the moment. 

“But yeah. I think I’ve found where I’m comfortable,” Jongin agrees. “I love MDC. The environment there is so amazing. Everyone pushes each other and they’re all so helpful and kind. Also Alan and Jenna--the two ballroom dancers I told you about--they said they might take some classes with me as well.” 

“That is good,” Kyungsoo murmurs, strolling around the front of the library now just for something to do. Part of him wants to get back to Junmyeon and his graphs, but the other, exhausted part of him just wants to talk to Jongin and let his boyfriend’s honey-sweet voice wash over him, cleansing him of all the stress in the past few days. H-1B results and Jikdo and his master’s thesis. Kyungsoo needs a snuggle and a cuddle. 

“Are you home yet?” Kyungsoo asks after a second of silence. 

“Not yet, I’m walking home right now. The, uh, the condo’s like five minutes away from the filming site. Actually, it’s really convenient for almost everything--groceries, MDC, you know.” 

“Close to the beach?” Kyungsoo inquires. 

“Decently. We haven’t been yet, but Dae said he’d take us sometime,” Jongin smiles. “Ah, babe,” Jongin’s tone changes. “There’s something I wanted to ask you about.” 

“Sure, Nini.” 

“It’s about Sehun,” Jongin tells him hesitantly. “I think he’s hiding something from me.” 

“Is it important?” Kyungsoo presses gently.

“I don’t know if it classifies as  _ important.  _ But he’s just been… weird ever since we got to Cali. And these days he’s all mopey and depressed.” Jongin hesitates. “I don’t know if my suspicions are right,” he murmurs to himself. “But it’s just so strange, and I can’t help but feel a little hurt if he didn’t tell me.” 

“You should talk with him,” Kyungsoo offers. “Right now you are only digging a hole for yourself.” 

“But like, he doesn’t wanna talk with me about it. He just says ‘I’m fine’ and leaves it at that.” 

“Do not argue with him on his feeling,” Kyungsoo tells him. “Talk to him about how you feel a little hurt. But Nini,” Kyungsoo begins, “just know Sehun would not hurt you on purpose. He is uhm. How do you say it?” Kyungsoo pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Like, not require?”

“Uhh… obligated? Not obligated?”

“Yes.” As always, Kyungsoo is relieved that Jongin understands him so well. “He is not obligated to tell you everything. You should respect his privacy if he want it.” 

“Yeah, I know. I wouldn’t push him to talk about it if he doesn’t want to,” Jongin says. “But like, we’ve been friends before we could walk, Soo. And the subject matter--I just--we always tell each other about our crushes and stuff.” Jongin’s voice drops even quieter so that Kyungsoo has to strain to hear him. “It’s not like I’d judge him for liking  _ him… _ ” And just from this, Kyungsoo can basically piece together the rest of the puzzle on his own.

“Talk it out, Nini. Like I always tell you,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “You and I work out because we talk a lot. We are open,” Kyungsoo reminds his boyfriend, who laughs a little. “So do not be afraid to approach your best friend like same way.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Jongin sounds placated. “Thanks, hyung.” 

“No problem.” Kyungsoo stops pacing and leans against a pillar. “Anything else on my Nini’s mind?” 

“You,” Jongin tells him sweetly. “I miss you.” 

“Miss you, too.” 

“When will you be back?” 

“Soon,” Kyungsoo tells him vaguely. “I want to see you.” 

“How soon is  _ soon _ ?” Jongin pleads. “California is so fun, I want to show you around. Do you think you could maybe get some time off to visit when classes end?” 

Kyungsoo sighs and lets his eyes flutter shut. “I… do not know. I do not think so.” He will not make an empty promise to Jongin, no matter how disappointing the news. “I am quite busy over here with Jikdo and my master’s thesis does not care if I have class or not… But you do not need to worry,” he tells Jongin quickly. “Junmyeon and I can handle it.” 

“How is Jikdo’s launch, then?” Jongin didn’t really expect a different answer, but his heart still sinks a little.

“It is going really well.” Kyungsoo brushes a hand through his hair, smiling to himself. “We moved successful out of beta. I am satisfied tonight.” 

“That makes two of us,” Jongin giggles. “And how’s your thesis going?” Jongin asks.

“It is going pretty smoothly,” Kyungsoo tells him. “Ah—well, it is stressful, but I am more excited about Jikdo right now.” 

“Take care of yourself.” It’s Jongin’s turn to fret about him now, but Kyungsoo doesn’t let him get too far. “Make sure you’re getting enough sleep and are eating enough… and exercise once in a while.” 

“I will,” Kyungsoo consoles him. “I am. I have not video call you enough for you to see I work out?” 

“Er…” Jongin’s blush is almost  _ audible,  _ and Kyungsoo smirks at how easy it is to get Jongin worked up even thousands of miles away from him. “Yeah, I know.” 

“Okay? So do not worry about hyung. Just focus on filming,” Kyungsoo soothes. 

“I’m just gonna take it one week at a time now,” Jongin smiles. “No matter how far I get into the show, I’m just glad that I was able to make the Top 20. That in itself is enough for me.” 

“Yes,” Kyungsoo agrees. “That is big achievement. You should be very proud of yourself.” 

“I am. Thank you, babe,” Jongin says quietly. 

“Why me?” Kyungsoo chuckles. 

“Because if you didn’t post that cover, I never would’ve gone viral and none of this would have happened,” Jongin laughs. “I’d still be in Boston, moping around at the studio and missing you like crazy. I mean, I still miss you like crazy, but you know what I mean.” 

“Yes,” Kyungsoo agrees. “But it is your talent and hard work that got you there.” 

“Hyung?” 

“Mhm.” 

“I love you. Thank you for everything.” 

“I love you, too,” Kyungsoo tells his boyfriend. “I will be here for you.” There’s a moment of comfortable silence, then Kyungsoo reluctantly clears his throat. “Junmyeon is waiting for me…” 

“Of course,” Jongin lets him go immediately. “I’ll… let you know how things with Sehun go and text you later. Go to sleep soon, will you?” 

“I will try.” Kyungsoo bids Jongin one last good-bye, then hangs up. He sighs, rubbing his eyes and staring out far onto the college campus. Afterwards he rouses himself from his thoughts and turns back to go inside. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> Sorry that the update took a few days--this story is requiring a lot of planning as it continues on, so it's just been taking a little bit more time to write each chapter (especially since each update is decently long as well). Thank you for waiting so patiently though <3 As always, you know Aranee and I love your comments so feel free to let us know what you think! Ah--Aranee wrote all the Jikdo parts, so a BIGGGG thank you to her :D ~I can't say it enough, but this story would not be what it is without her~  
> \--  
> Stay safe and healthy, everyone!


	13. time for confession

Jongin’s still yawning a little when he gets to the dance studio, but his excitement to learn three new choreographies for the show quickly replaces his grogginess. Walking into the room, hearing his footsteps echo on the hardwood floor, mingling with the two other dancers in his hip-hop routine group--Jongin immediately feels in his element while he stretches out to get ready for class. He’s always found it much easier to focus less on the cameras when he’s in the studio; he knows he looks good when he’s dancing, it’s his second nature at this point. The crew had mentioned that they were only going to broadcast specific dance practices--perhaps not the hip-hop choreography that he’s about to learn--but judging by the camera crew that’s strategically placed in the four corners of the room, they’re still planning to get some footage of the practice. Jongin looks up when choreographer Luther Brown walks into the room and exchanges excited glances with Fik-shun and Mariah. 

“The choreography isn’t necessarily difficult,” Luther tells them. “It’s meant to showcase your individual strengths. But I expect a lot of energy and expression in your dance, as well as general unity.” When he goes on to demonstrate the choreography, Jongin immediately loves it. It’s sharp, modern, and right up his alley. The three of them pick the moves up rather quickly, and Luther even lets them have a little bit of artistic freedom as they add their own personal embellishments to the choreography. Jongin watches in awe when Fik-shun displays his popping skills, then gathers the courage to compliment him during a break with practice. 

“You’re so talented,” Jongin gushes. “I can only dream of dancing like that.” 

“Thank you,” Fik-shun’s smile lights up his entire face. “But you’ve caught my eye as well.” At this, Jongin’s eyes widen in surprise. “You’re talented,” Fik-shun continues earnestly. “I’m really happy that we’ll get to perform together.” 

“I like the routine a lot,” Jongin agrees, and Mariah--the only female hip-hop dancer in the Top 20--joins in the conversation as well, nodding to Jongin’s words. 

“I think between the three of us, we have it down.” 

“Do you know what the episode is going to look like?” Jongin inquires at large. “Because I know we’re just learning choreography for the whole day, right? Then practice tomorrow, and then performances after that…” 

“From what I’ve seen from past shows and what they’ve told us, they probably won’t broadcast all the practices,” Mariah tells him. “They’ll announce who made it through to the Top 20, then broadcast performances as each group who made it through is shown. And then at the end, they usually show rehearsals of the Top 10 male and female acts, along with the group choreography.” 

“That sounds about right.” They break up as Luther calls them back to work through the choreography a couple more times. After a few more hours, the trio part ways in order to switch gears and begin learning the male and female performances respectively. The rest of the Top 10 men slowly trickle into the studio, and Jongin waves excitedly to Alan when he walks in. 

“How was your ballroom choreo?” 

“Good,” Alan wipes sweat off the side of his face. “Samba. Not too difficult.” 

“Same here. Er--not a Samba,” Jongin laughs easily, feeling giddy and happy from a successful practice, “but we got to choreograph some parts and overall it’s pretty easy to catch on to.” 

“Sounds like they weren’t really going for difficulty, just a chance for us to show our stuff.” Alan remarks, reaching for his water bottle. Jongin nods in agreement and pulls out his phone. 

[Jongin]

i’m done with one practice

was ez 

[Sehunnie]

sounds good

m’with dae again

[Jongin]

Oh 

watcha doing?

[Sehunnie]

j chillin

wandering around

[Jongin]

doesn’t he have work?

[Sehunnie]

yuh lunch break now so

[Jongin]

oh ok

Have fun!

I’ll be home at like 8…?

[Sehunnie]

sure. 

“Did you come here with a friend?” Alan asks curiously, and Jongin nods. 

“Yep. Sehun. We’ve known each other since we were like 2.” 

“Niceee.” Their conversation is cut off by the arrival of Christopher Scott, who’ll be choreographing their routine. 

_“Oh!”_ Jongin’s jaw drops. “Chris Scott!” 

“Yuuuupp.” Alan pulls himself to his feet. “S’gonna be good.” 

“Holy shit,” Jongin mumbles. “I didn’t know we were gonna be rubbing shoulders with all these celebrity dancers.” At this, Alan laughs and punches him lightly. 

“You’re in the Top 20 cast of ‘So You Think You Can Dance’. What’d you expect?” 

\--

After the lesson, Jongin calls Kyungsoo, who answers the phone with a hint of exhaustion in his voice. 

“What time is it over there?” Jongin frets. 

“Five am. Good morning, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo yawns. 

“Did I wake you up?” 

“No, no. My alarm is set for five. You were better wake-up call, though.” Kyungsoo chuckles tiredly. “One second--I put you on speaker. Okay.” There’s a shifting of sheets as Kyungsoo presumably drags himself up and out of bed. He’s always been a better morning person than Jongin. “Filming? How is it going?” 

“Good. I’ve learned two out of three choreographies,” Jongin launches eagerly into more description, telling Kyungsoo about all the people he’s met, his excitement to perform in front of a live audience, and about the routines that he’s learned thus far. “The one with the Top 10 men is about manipulating earth,” Jongin chuckles. “Apparently we’re gonna have actual sand on stage. It’s a mix of contemporary and just a little bit of hip-hop and ballet as well.” 

“Sound like you will not have problem, then?” Kyungsoo’s voice is muffled when he tugs a shirt over his head. 

“Nope.” Jongin pops the ‘p’ sound cheerfully. “I love all the routines so far. Probably because I love the choreographers so much--you know how I always watch Chris Scott and all the MDC instructors. I can’t believe I actually get to learn from them. Oh! I know it’s not tied to filming, but yesterday’s class with Ian went really well, too.” 

“Ian.. at MDC?” Kyungsoo remembers. Jongin hums confirmation. “Good to hear you are doing well,” Kyungsoo offers, stifling another yawn. 

“What about you? How are you doing?” 

“Oh, I am okay, too. Tired.” 

“Why are you up at five?” Jongin’s tone turns to worried. “Surely you don’t have any classes or anything that early.” 

“Just want to check in with Jikdo before I go to class,” Kyungsoo explains. “Do not worry, baby. Focus on filming.” 

“Yeah, I have a few more minutes though.” Jongin is silent for a minute. _“I love you,”_ he switches to Korean. _“I really miss you, hyung.”_

 _“Love you, miss you, too, but why are we talking in Korean?”_ Kyungsoo chuckles at Jongin’s cute accent. It’s barely detectable, but it’s clear that he’s still a little shy with his words. 

_“I don’t want anyone to hear me,”_ Jongin’s voice comes out as a bashful mumble. Kyungsoo yearns to give him a forehead kiss and hold his hand. 

_“Nini doesn’t want anybody to know you’re hyung’s little bear?”_ Kyungsoo coos. _“I suppose you have to keep your bad boy image, don’t you…”_

 _“Professionalism,”_ Jongin murmurs. _“Well, and that…”_

 _“Alright, Nini. Whatever you say.”_ Kyungsoo’s smirk hides the feeling of warmth in his chest, knowing that Jongin’s so comfortable with being vulnerable and showing both sides of himself with Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo, and nobody else. _“As long as you don’t forget you’re mine. My shining star.”_ Kyungsoo laughs affectionately, imagining Jongin trying to hide his pleased blush.

“Kai!” Alan calls, and Jongin turns around in surprise. “We’re starting group class!” 

“Oh--okay! I’ll be right there.” Jongin’s sigh is nearly inaudible. 

“Class?” Kyungsoo guesses. 

“Yeah, I’ll--I’ll call you later? Or text you?” Jongin asks hopefully. 

“Of course. I love you,” Kyungsoo tells him gently. “Go now.” 

“Love you. Bye, babe.” Jongin places his phone back into his bag and dips into the studio behind Alan. Sonya Tayeh, the choreographer who had also done their Jazz routine at Vegas Week, is waiting for all twenty of them. 

“Oh, _her_ again,” Jongin remembers the all-nighter that he had pulled with his eliminated partner. 

“That’s a valid reaction.” Jenna sidles up next to Alan and Jongin. 

“Nah, frankly, I actually really like her energy and work ethic,” Jongin shrugs. “She’s intense, but in the best way possible.” 

“I’m kinda worried for this one, actually,” Jenna confides in both of them. “We all have such differing styles. How are we going to make the routine appear unified?” As if Sonya had heard Jenna’s worries, she turns to the group of dancers after introducing the general theme of the routine. 

“Even if you’ve never done this sort of thing before, I expect you guys to be able to do it,” Sonya declares. “SYTYCD is about pushing you out of your comfort zone and improving yourself in all aspects of dance.” With that, the class of twenty spreads out and begins to learn the choreography. In the middle, Jongin is pulled to the side to film a short interview. 

“Just talk generally about your feelings for the dance,” the cameraman tells him. “What do you think of it so far?” 

“I’m really excited to perform it,” Jongin says honestly. “I think Sonya said a really great thing when she was introducing the dance--she said that all of us--” Jongin waves a hand towards the background where all the dancers are walking through the jazz choreography, “--could learn and build on each other. And already, I’ve met so many different dancers with all these amazing talents. I think the opportunity to perform with all of them is just so rewarding.” 

“Cut! That was very nicely put, Kai.” Jongin bows a little and hurries back to join the class. 

“Why,” Alan asks in between gasps of breath when they finally run through the routine in whole around seven o’clock, “Why is the choreography always so difficult?” 

“Sonya’s style is fast and complex,” Jenna lies spread-eagled on the floor on her stomach, absentmindedly letting her legs fall to the side to stretch her hips. 

“It’s fun,” Jongin says happily. He’s tired, but proud of a solid day’s work. “I think another day of practice to solidify choreography is nice, and then we’ll get to perform.” 

“Do you get nervous when performing?” Alan asks him. Jongin nods. 

“Of course. Who doesn’t? But I love being on the stage.” Jongin smiles a little dreamily just thinking about it--the rush of adrenaline, the hot, bright lights directed at him, the verbal and audible reactions of the audience. “I literally grew up with the stage. I don’t think I could bear it if I had to walk away.” 

“You know what they say,” Jenna looks up at Jongin, who’s sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor. “You don’t leave the stage. The stage leaves you.” 

“Yes!” Jongin nods enthusiastically. “That’s exactly what I mean.” 

\--

  
  


“Sehun?” Jongin calls when he walks into the condo, tired and sore and disgustingly sweaty from practice. 

“Yeah.” Sehun’s voice comes from further in the room. “Living room.” 

“Hey.” Jongin leans against the wall. “Imma go shower, I’m gross.” Sehun glances up at him from the TV. 

“Yeah, dude, you kinda are. Did you eat dinner yet, by the way?” Jongin nods his head ‘yes’; he’d decided to grab something local with Alan and Jenna after filming. “Cool.” Sehun turns back towards the show while Jongin disappears into the shower. He emerges, finally freshened up, and promptly slumps against Sehun on the couch. 

“Tired?” Sehun’s voice is quiet and unassuming, a subtle comfort. His hand immediately goes to Jongin’s hair, combing his fingers through the damp strands like he knows sends Jongin into a deep lull. Jongin nods. 

“So sore,” Jongin sighs, reaching for his lacrosse ball sitting on the coffee table. He carefully places it under his calf and lets it settle into his muscles, loosening some of the tension. “How was your day? What’d you do?” 

“Not much. Woke up late, so I just skipped breakfast and had lunch with Jongdae.” 

“With Seojun, too?” 

“No. Just us two.” Sehun’s answer is simple. 

“He didn’t invite his girlfriend to lunch?” Something about this strikes Jongin as odd. 

“She went with some other colleagues,” Sehun explains. “Dae’s…” he trails off, then whispers something that Jongin doesn’t quite catch. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” Sehun sighs and turns his attention back to the TV. “Then I wandered around town, had dinner, and came back home.” Jongin wants to press more about Jongdae, but tonight he’s far too exhausted to say anything. So he lets the subject drop for now. 

“I’m sorry I dragged you all the way here only to be totally caught up in filming,” Jongin apologizes. “And you don’t have any friends here besides Jongdae…” 

“Oh, I do,” Sehun assures him. “Don’t think I haven’t been picking people up.” 

“SEHUN!” Jongin shrieks suddenly, sitting bolt upright and glaring at the younger. 

“What?” 

“We share the SAME BED--”

“You seriously have no faith in me.” Sehun rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t have sex in the same bed you and I sleep in. I go over to theirs.” 

“Hhhhuuuuu.” Jongin relaxes against Sehun’s shoulder again. “So? How are the boys? I wouldn’t know,” Jongin preens. “I have the cutest one, so.” 

“Okay, Jong.” Sehun’s laugh is short, but still amused. “And they’re hot. Good at what they do, too.” 

“Kay, I think we’ll stop the conversation there.” 

“Are you sure? Because the guy today was--” 

“I’m sure.” 

\--

Two more days pass, and Jongin gets home so exhausted each day that he doesn’t even bother bringing the looming topic up. But it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t notice the lingering sadness in Sehun’s eyes, or the way his tone changes wistfully when he talks about Jongdae. It’s almost as if Sehun has built a dam to hold back the flood of words on the tip of his tongue, and now, they’re all threatening to slip past his vocal chords. Still, he keeps himself in check, never letting on any more than nonverbal cues. Jongin’s second day of practice passes uneventfully, and on the third day, Jongin gets up right as the birds begin chirping to get ready for a day of rehearsals and live performances. 

\--

The cool, quiet walk to the recording studio is calm and peaceful, but as soon as Jongin actually steps foot into the building, the vibe changes. Dancers, producers, and stylists run to and fro, all committed to their own agenda, frantically trying to pull everything together. Jongin’s immediately swept off his feet with the near-manic chaos and urgency emanating from everyone. The butterflies which Jongin hadn’t felt in his stomach since Vegas Week start to flutter slightly through rehearsals; by the time he’s due to get hair and makeup done, Jongin can’t keep still, walking through the choreography mentally with small jiggles of his legs and flicks of his hands while the stylists work their magic on his hair and face. For the sake of distracting himself, he sends a picture of his outfit to Kyungsoo.

[Jongin]

img.8823

for you

hip-hop, do you like it?

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

I like _you_ :) 

You look hot. 

Jongin swallows hard as he reads the message over and over again. Then he gives in and slips through a door out into an empty back parking lot, pressing his phone to his ear as he does so. 

“Nini?” Kyungsoo immediately becomes concerned when he hears Jongin’s uneven breaths. 

“I’m so nervous.” Jongin squats down against the side of the recording studio and traces a shaking finger over the toe of his shoe. “Hyung, I--I don’t know what to do. There’s too many people and it’s so loud and noisy and I can’t… remember the choreography and I have to _perform_ on national television.” Jongin feels tears prick at the corners of his eyes and he looks up, blinking rapidly to get rid of them before they smear his eyeliner. “There’s so much to do and I can’t remember everything, and I have to go on stage soon, and everyone’s yelling at me, and--” 

“Woah. Easy,” Kyungsoo soothes. “Easy.” Jongin only lets out something like a dry sob. “Breathe, Jongin.” His boyfriend’s voice is reassuring and steady, and Jongin clutches onto it as if reaching for a buoy in his sea of panic. As if Kyungsoo knows this, he keeps talking in his low, hushed tone, sometimes in Korean if he can’t keep up an articulate stream of English, but always murmuring words of comfort. 

“ _You’re doing so well already,”_ Kyungsoo tells him. _“It’s your first time performing on prime-time TV, I know it’s not going to be easy._ But you need to calm down, okay, baby? _Just take deep breaths in and out. Don’t worry about the performance right now. It’s just me and you._ Just me and you.” Jongin gulps in breaths of air shakily. _“Now listen to me,”_ Kyungsoo murmurs. _“Can you understand?”_

“Yeah.” Jongin sniffles a little. 

_“There’s no elimination today, is there?”_

“H-huh?” 

“Nobody going home,” Kyungsoo switches to English for Jongin’s sake. “It is just performance, correct?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Remember how much you love the stage? How you can be different person on it. This is just another stage. Just like how you dance for me at showcase.” Jongin nods, even though he knows Kyungsoo can’t see him. “You are nervous, that is okay. I understand. Turn nervous into ex--uhh--” 

“Excitement,” Jongin whispers. 

“Mm. Yes. The energy you feel right now is good. Will make you dance better and stronger on stage today. They will love you,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “How can they not?” 

“I don’t wanna fuck up. There are so many reasons to not love me. Everyone’s so much better than me, and there’s people who are way more experienced. I’m just a newcomer, I don’t know what I’m doing.” Jongin’s panic, which had been slightly subdued by Kyungsoo, starts to creep back into his mind. 

_“Listen to me, sweetheart,”_ Kyungsoo’s tone becomes more forceful. “Right now, the only thing you are re- _what’s the word, responsible--_ ” 

“I got it.” 

_“The only thing you’re responsible for is to dance,”_ Kyungsoo stresses this. “Everything else--that is not your problem. Other people can decide whether they like or not. But you--you focus on yourself. What you can do best and love most. That is all. _Understand?”_ Jongin breathes out a long sigh. 

“I love you the most,” Jongin tells the bright blue sky, furiously trying to stop tears from falling. 

_“If you can make cute jokes, then you’re alright again. Go dance, Nini.”_ Kyungsoo chuckles. “Tell me how it go after.” 

“Yes, hyung. Thank you.” Jongin sniffs one last time, then stands up, wincing at the ache in his knees. “Bye-bye.” 

“Byeee.” Jongin quietly slips back into the studio, where he’s promptly scolded by a director for disappearing minutes before a performance begins. Jongin murmurs an apology, but it’s waved off in lieu of situating him in the wings backstage where Mariah and Fik-shun are already waiting. 

“Where were you?” Fik-shun asks curiously. 

“I just needed…” Jongin waves his arms around. “Space.” At this, the tightness in Fik-shun’s shoulders seems to drop a little as he realizes that he’s not the only one struggling to cope with the high-energy, professional environment. 

“It’s different,” Fik-shun tells him with wide, equally nervous eyes. “I’m a street performer. I’m not used to all of this--my performances were always so much more casual. People just laughed off mistakes and the whole vibe was so much more lax.” 

“I only danced at community showcases and whatnot,” Jongin shares. “This is my first time being on such a huge stage.” 

“Same, same! Huge is an understatement compared to what I’m used to.” Fik-shun lets out a shaky laugh and Jongin does as well. 

“We’ll be fine.” Mariah’s hands suddenly find Jongin’s sweaty palms and squeeze tightly. “I’m a nervous wreck as well.” Somehow, Jongin finds this incredibly comical, and has to stifle his laughter before it gets too loud. “What?” 

“Nothing,” Jongin wheezes. “I was just thinking about how the judges are anticipating this badass performance, but we’re standing backstage, holding hands and trying not to have a mental breakdown.” Perhaps it’s the anxiousness, but this sends all three of them into a fit of hysterics. Strangely, it seems to settle all of them though, because when the cue is given and Jongin walks to his mark on stage, he stops shaking from nerves and instead rides the adrenaline rush that courses through him once the music begins. Locking eyes with his two other teammates, Jongin knows that they feel the same way.

When the last beat fades away, Jongin straightens up from his pose while an overwhelming sense of relief flows through him. He joins Mariah and Fik-shun in the center of the stage to receive the judges feedback. While Mariah gets high praise, Jongin and Fik-shun are told they need to step up their game a little in comparison. When Nigel says this, Jongin feels Fik-shun’s hand tighten around his waist, and he looks to the other dancer. A wordless conversation passes between them. 

_Don’t be disappointed._

_I’m not. Are you?_

_No. But we need to work harder._ Jongin nods imperceptibly at this. In order to keep up with the more experienced dancers who have been in the professional scene for years, he knows he’ll have to work at least twice as hard if he wants to make the most out of this competition. Of course he had known before, but upon hearing this feedback, the realization of just how tough the competition at SYTYCD will be hits him with full force at last.

Jongin’s still catching his breath when he’s ushered backstage to take off his eyeliner and wet his hair to make it seem more natural for the all-male performance. 

“Well, that’s a different vibe,” Jongin mutters as he gets dressed, staring at his reflection in a simple white button-up and fitted black slacks. A picture gets sent to Kyungsoo, who responds seconds later. 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

How did first one go? 

Handsome~

[Jongin]

good

judges said that i need to step up my game

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

That is okay. 

[Jongin]

yea i know

i just have to work harder

i gtg tho

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

OK. 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Although the rehearsal had included piles of sand, this is only Jongin’s second time actually manipulating sand while still thinking about the routine, and so he finds himself jittery with nerves again while he lines up behind Alan backstage. However, when he steps on stage and the spotlight hits him, all of Jongin’s worries wash away as the deep bass of the music reverberates through his soul. Jongin gets caught up in the energy of moving with the rest of the dancers, at how his heart soars with every move he executes, and by the time the group hits their final pose, Jongin doesn’t even want to leave the stage. There’s another round of short, positive feedback addressing the entire group at once from the judges, then Jongin dissipates backstage to get ready for the final group performance. 

“Hey, Kai!” One of the dancers calls him over for a group cheer just before they take the stage. Kai glances over and joins in shyly, sticking himself into the circle next to Jenna and Mariah. 

“No matter how far any of us get in the competition, let’s just not forget this,” Alan says, gesturing to the circle of dancers. “Don’t forget we made it out of thousands of contestants. And that we’re all in this together.” 

“Together,” Jongin echoes, and the group turns to look at him expectantly, as if expecting him to say something. Jongin startles. “Oh--Umm… I’m sure I’m not the only one who sometimes gets Imposter Syndrome and wonders how I ever got this far…” Jongin laughs shakily as almost everyone agrees with him. “Um. I think the most important thing is just to focus on the moment. We were given this opportunity, so let’s take full advantage of it. I’m so happy to have met and learned from every single one of you.” Jenna nudges him playfully. 

“Don’t make us cry right before the performance.” 

“Oh! Sorry!” Jongin laughs as he looks around the group. “Sorry. Let’s just have fun, alright?” 

Alan reaches over to clap him on the back, then leads the cheer. “1, 2, 3--So you think you can dance?” 

_“YES, WE CAN.”_

\--

“Hey, you’re back early today.” Sehun looks up when Jongin breezes through the door, still wearing a full face of makeup and styled hair. “How did the performances go?” 

“Pretty good.” Jongin smiles. “I got some feedback and I know I need to work harder if I want to advance, but all of my performances were solid. I’m pretty happy with what I did today.” 

“I guess the tough part starts now?” Sehun asks, and Jongin shrugs. 

“Yeah. But it’s not like it wasn’t difficult before. But you’re right--it’s only going to get tougher from here. I’m gonna have to work really hard to keep advancing. I need to spend a lot more time at MDC,” Jongin shuffles his feet a little bit. “So I think… I might not be around a lot to keep you company.” He looks at Sehun guiltily. “I’m sorry--” 

“Jong.” Sehun’s eyes are clouded with indecipherable longing again. “Don’t worry about it. Just try and make it as far as you can.” 

“Of course,” Jongin promises carefully, unsure of what Sehun’s motives are. “I’m not just going to give up.” 

The rest of the night passes uneventfully, and Jongin sighs blissfully as he stretches out on his side of the bed. Sehun reaches over and turns the lamp off. The two are silent for a moment before Jongin speaks into the dark room. 

“Sehunnie?” 

“Mmmmm.” 

“Something’s been bothering you.” Jongin finally pulls the topic up. “I can tell.” 

“I’m fine, Jong.” Sehun shifts a little in bed, away from Jongin. 

“Sehun,” Jongin says softly. “You can tell me anything. We’re best friends. You--you came all this way to support me, and I’m so grateful to you for that, especially because you chose to spend the summer with me instead of with Hui or someone else.” Sehun’s breath catches, as if he’s about to say something, but Jongin pushes forward. “You don’t have to tell me specifics if you don’t want to, but I can tell something’s off and it’s eating you up. We--we can’t hide anything from each other anymore.” Jongin smiles into the dark even though he knows Sehun can’t see. “We know each other too well.” Sehun is silent for so long that Jongin thinks he might have fallen asleep. Then he slowly turns around to face Jongin, and holds his arms out: a silent plea for companionship and strength. Jongin burrows himself into Sehun’s arms. It’s familiar and platonic, and Jongin can feel Sehun slowly letting down his guard. 

“I didn’t mean to hide anything from you.” Sehun’s voice is shaky, unsure and vulnerable unlike his usual hard exterior. “Please don’t be angry.” 

“I’m not angry. Not at something like this. I couldn’t be.” Jongin is reasonable. 

“But this--I’ve hid it from you for _years,”_ Sehun sighs. For some indecipherable reason, Jongin isn’t surprised. 

“It feels like I’ve always known, even if I haven’t.” 

“You know how a couple nights ago, I was telling you about how I had lunch with Jongdae?” Sehun’s fingers card through Jongin’s hair almost unconsciously. “And I didn’t finish a sentence?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Jongdae is pining,” Sehun murmurs. “And I am, too. For… him.” 

“He… he wants you?” Jongin’s head is spinning. He thought he’d had it basically figured out. “But he’s straight--” 

“No. He doesn’t want me like that.” The way Sehun says it makes it seem as if it’s a punch straight to the gut. “He’s pining for a feeling.” Sehun’s sigh is shaky, as if he’s holding back tears. “He grew up so fast. He regrets it.” 

“Oh.” Jongin is silent for a minute, still unsure as to what Sehun is trying to explain. “And you… you…?” He’s struggling to piece together the jigsaw puzzle. 

“Jongdae is feeling nostalgic,” Sehun explains. “He wishes that things were simpler like back when we were all still in high school, and I remind him of that. He wants to not care so much, like I pretend to.” 

“But you do care.” It’s not a question. Jongin’s sure of it. 

“So, so much.” Sehun’s voice breaks. He pulls Jongin closer as if he needs to clutch at something to keep his wits about him. “Years and years.” Jongin swallows, trying to choose his next words carefully. 

“I’m really sorry, Sehun.” 

“I wasn’t taking advantage of you when you made it to Top 33,” Sehun tells him dully. “I wasn’t coming here just for Dae.” 

“I know that,” Jongin snorts. “Geez.” 

“But I just wanted to see him so badly, and he said he wanted to see me, too. And a part of me thought maybe seeing how happy he is and getting to meet his girlfriend, I could get some closure and even start to let go? I like hanging out with Hui, I think he’s cute and sweet. Sometimes I forgot about Dae when I was with him.” Sehun sighs heavily into the top of Jongin’s head. He’s finally opening up, words tumbling out of his mouth so fast that he trips over them in his rush to rant. “But he’s not as happy as I thought,” Sehun’s voice shakes. “And now we spend so much time together, it’s just harder and harder to hide around him. And it’s not like I can _tell him--_ what is he supposed to do, reciprocate my feelings?” Sehun’s laugh is self-pitying and bitter. “Fuck, Jong. It hurts so bad.” 

“I know.” Jongin’s arms wrap around Sehun and pull him close. Sehun suddenly lets out a long breath, then sniffles a little. Jongin feels the hand in his hair dissipate as Sehun wipes away a few stray tears. “It’s okay,” Jongin tells him, remembering all the times he had clutched onto Sehun and bawled while Sehun stayed silent and strong for him. “You can cry.” 

“M’sorry I kept this from you,” Sehun mutters, still wiping away tears as fast as they come. 

“Don’t be.” Jongin soothes. “I’m not mad. Seriously. You had your reasons, and it’s completely understandable.” 

“Fuck.” Sehun shifts slightly and Jongin rubs his back comfortingly. Sehun dissolves into quiet sobs to Jongin’s shoulder for a while, still trying to hold back even though he’s gotten all the words out of his system. Jongin just holds his best friend close, murmuring words of encouragement, providing a soft, warm presence for Sehun to rely on. 

“Thank you for telling me,” Jongin whispers when Sehun’s crying quiets down a little. “Are you feeling better?” 

“Yeah.” Sehun sighs shakily. “Yeah, I--I’m fine now.” He huffs. “Fuck men.” 

“Agreed.” 

“I don’t know if I’ll ever get over him.” Sehun reaches up and ruffles his hair, and dabs his cheeks with the cuff of his pajama sleeve. “It’s just… hard. I’m still holding on even though I know--he’s not mine.” 

“You have me now,” Jongin tells him, reaching up to wipe at Sehun’s tears for him as well. “You can rant to me anytime.” 

“It’s kind of a relief,” Sehun sighs. “I’m not sure why I didn’t tell you earlier. But I just…” He trails off, but Jongin waits patiently for him to elaborate. “Dae’s just really, really special to me,” Sehun’s voice is barely above a whisper. “And I was ashamed because he’s, you know, straight and nothing’s ever going to come out of this.” 

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Jongin keeps his tone light. “We don’t get to choose who we fall in love with. It sucks.” 

“Mmmmm,” Sehun agrees. “And it was hard because if I wasn’t gonna tell you, then nobody else was gonna know either. It got so lonely.” His voice is hollow. 

“You won’t ever have to be lonely again,” Jongin tells him. “Especially not with something like unrequited feelings.” He pats Sehun’s head, mostly to keep the mood light because he knows Sehun hates it when he does that. But tonight, the younger doesn’t mind. 

“Yeah.” Sehun heaves a long sigh. “Thanks.” 

“Sehun?” Jongin hesitates slightly. “I… I swear I won’t tell anyone, you know that. But Kyungsoo…” 

“Ah, yes. Your boy toy.” Sehun says dryly. “He’s very astute.” 

“So…” 

“You can tell him, Jong.” Sehun pulls away just slightly to rearrange the covers and get ready to actually sleep. “Thank you for listening.” 

“‘Course. You always listen to me cry.” 

“Cause you do it every other day?” 

“Sehunnnnn,” Jongin whines. 

“Kidding.” Sehun settles down more comfortably into the pillows. “‘Night, Jong.” 

“Good night.” Jongin closes his eyes and scoots away, but Sehun snags his wrist and pulls Jongin back into his arms. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Oh, so you want me to hog the covers and suffocate you?” Jongin still curls into Sehun’s embrace cheerfully. 

“What can I say?” Sehun’s voice is drowsy. “I’ve always been a bit of a masochist.” 

“Okay, Sehun.” Jongin pats him on the head again.

“Do you think Jongdae would give it to me rough?” 

“AGH! SEHUN!” 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comforting!jongin makes me very, very soft. I really like writing sekai's friendship <3  
> thanks for waiting for the chapter! we'll be back really, really soon. ;)  
> lots of love as usual for you guys~ XOXO


	14. the show begins

[Dae-hyung]

Are you alone? 

[Sehun]

yea 

Jongin at MDC again

[Dae-hyung]

Could I come over?

[Sehun]

sure 

Sehun snorts to himself when he rereads the text message. Taken out of context, it almost sounds like a late afternoon booty call. He mopes around, alternating between checking his phone and half-heartedly folding laundry until the doorbell rings. Sehun immediately drops the shirt he’s holding to open the door for Jongdae. 

“Hey--” He’s promptly thrown off-guard by the mix of negative emotions emanating from Jongdae’s slumped form. Frustration, melancholy, and distress are written all over Jongdae’s non-smiling face; a sharp contrast to his usually carefree, cheerful disposition. “What happened?” Sehun’s instinct is to pull Jongdae into his arms, but he tightens his grip on the doorknob and steps aside to let Jongdae step through the threshold instead. The elder takes off the baseball cap on his head and ruffles his hair ruefully while he paces the entryway slowly. 

“UGH!” Jongdae punches the air out of nowhere, and now Sehun is seriously alarmed. 

“Hyung…” 

“Girls are so FRUSTRATING!” Jongdae screeches, turning to face Sehun, who’s torn between amusement and worry. 

“I take it you and Seojun fought?” 

“It was SO stupid, but I’m…” Jongdae grits his teeth and clenches his hands into fists at his sides. “Like, I’m just…” He paces wildly now, trying to work off his anger. “We don’t seem to work.” 

“You wanna talk about it?” Sehun presses gently. His heart hurts at seeing Jongdae so distressed, and he shoves down the part in his brain that’s secretly cheerful.  _ You’re a horrible friend, you know that?  _

“Like--it’s just the LITTLEST things set me off now,” Jongdae fumes. “At first, when she moved in, we were really happy and everything seemed great. And now I’m just SICK of having to constantly clean and fold and UGGGG--” 

“Well, you were never the most organized.” Sehun chuckles a little. 

“EXACTLY!” Jongdae huffs. “Like, I’ll DO the dishes, but let me watch TV for a while first! I don’t understand why I have to fold the laundry RIGHT AFTER it comes out of the dryer! What am I supposed to do, stare at the dryer until it finishes drying? What’s the point of ironing? Who irons CASUAL clothes?” Sehun decides that it’s a terrible time to tell him that he irons his casual clothes. 

“And don’t get me started on after dinner--she wants to go out for a walk every. Single. Day. WHY?” Jongdae complains loudly. “SEHUN. I JUST WANNA SIT ON THE COUCH.” 

“Yeah, I know.” 

“Can’t I just sit and contemplate my existence in peace?” 

“You can,” Sehun soothes, finally moving away from the door and patting Jongdae on the back lightly, directing him into the living room. “My couch is open.” 

“Just let me scream a bit more.” 

“Okay.” Sehun situates himself on the couch while Jongdae paces back and forth in front of him, still gnashing his teeth together. 

“You know, I like that she’s organized, it’s really great at work and everything,” Jongdae begins ranting furiously. “But like, I seriously can’t deal with it 24/7. I’m not like that. And I didn’t wanna yell or anything, but she told me to do the dishes, and I just didn’t WANT TO, so I TOLD her that. And then she said that if I do them now, I won’t have to worry later, but why would I EVEN WORRY ABOUT SOME STUPID DISHES? And it was a shitty day at work today so we were both really tired--like you’d think after SUCH a horrible day, you wouldn’t care about the dishes, right?--and I just.” Jongdae waves his hands wildly. “I walked out.” 

“S’okay, hyung.” Sehun assures him.

“Wait, I’m not done.” 

“Alright.” 

“You know how I forget about shit really easily?” Sehun nods, so Jongdae continues. “Yeah, so I write everything down, like to get groceries or whatever. And if she wants me to get something or to do something, I always tell her that she needs to write it down.” Jongdae huffs. “She NEVER adds stuff to the list. She just keeps TELLING ME. And so I tell her to just WRITE IT DOWN, cause there’s no point in yelling at me. And she KEEPS TELLING ME, and I keep TELLING HER to write it down. SEHUN.” 

“Yes?” 

“Tell me that we need to get spinach.” 

“We need spinach,” Sehun deadpans. 

“Write it down.” 

“We need spinach.” 

“Just write it down.” 

“We need spinach.” 

“WRITE IT DOWN!” Jongdae punches the air again. “That’s how ALL of our conversations go. YAH--HOW can someone NOT see the benefits of lists? She’s all, ‘tHeRe’S nO pOiNt tO tHeM! ThEy’Re So mUcH wOrK!’ I GET IT--You DON’T have the memory of a goldfish! But I. DO!” Jongdae’s face is red from ranting, and Sehun is seriously having trouble holding back laughter now. “It’s stupid, right?” Jongdae glares at him with a pout that’s slowly starting to turn into a helpless smile. Sehun pinches his thumb and index finger together. 

“Juuust a little.” He feels a small laugh start to bubble up despite his best efforts to suppress it. When Sehun’s eyes start to crinkle in amusement, Jongdae lets go of his anger as well, instead switching to laughter. 

“Sorry.” Jongdae apologizes when they’ve finally gotten their breath back. “I didn’t know who else to go to.” 

“It’s fine.” Sehun hesitantly pats the space next to him on the couch, but Jongdae comes willingly, immediately falling right into Sehun’s arms and leaning against his shoulder. Sehun massages the back of his neck gently, feeling the tension slowly drain out of Jongdae to be replaced with limp helplessness. 

“Dunno what to do,” Jongdae mutters. All his anger is gone now, and he absentmindedly taps out an indecipherable pattern on Sehun’s thigh. “Can’t live like that. It’s driving me insane.” 

“You can come over whenever you want,” Sehun murmurs. His heart is pounding because of the proximity, and it’s also soaring with joy. He wants to press a kiss to Jongdae’s hair, but settles for rubbing Jongdae’s back. “You’ll figure it out, hyung. You always do.” 

“I know. But it’s starting to get so bothersome, especially when I’m tired and I just want to go home and sleep.” Jongdae sighs. “I thought living together would be nice, and it is… but I feel like a little kid being told to do chores all the time.” 

“That sucks.” 

“Yeah.” Jongdae snorts. “I’m 25, I don’t need to be told to do my dishes. I’ll do my own damn dishes whenever I want.” 

“Mmm.” 

“And she won’t listen to me,” Jongdae sighs. “I’m not asking that much, am I? I just need her to put stuff on the grocery list. But she thinks it’s bothersome to walk to the list every single time. Or she’s like, ‘I don’t have a pen.’” Jongdae shifts. “Just get a pen,” he grumbles under his breath. 

“Yeah,” Sehun agrees. They’re silent for a while, in which Jongdae relaxes even more in Sehun’s arms, and Sehun pulls Jongdae closer to him, breathing in the scent of Jongdae’s cologne, allowing himself this moment of brief happiness, even if he knows that it’s selfish to luxuriate in having Jongdae to himself when there are issues with his relationship. 

“This is why I came to you,” Jongdae murmurs, his breath hot on Sehun’s collarbone. “You always know how to calm me down.” 

“I’ve been around you too much,” Sehun sighs in mock-resignation, to which Jongdae only snuggles closer to him. 

“You know you love me.”  _ Oh,  _ how Sehun wants to answer that honestly. 

“Hah,” Sehun huffs. Jongdae lets out a small laugh, then is silent again for a moment. 

“Whaddya wanna do?” 

Sehun looks down at Jongdae, pliant and tired against his side. “What do YOU want to do?” 

“Sit on your couch and cuddle and contemplate my existence.” 

“Okay.” So they do that. 

\--

When Kyungsoo makes it back to his dorm after a conversation with his master’s thesis supervisor, Junmyeon has already overtaken his entire room; a takeout box of food sitting on the corner of his desk, a backpack in his chair, and the man himself is sprawled out across Kyungsoo’s bed, laptop placed in front of him. Junmyeon looks up when Kyungsoo walks in. 

_ “Hey.”  _

“ _ Any reports of new crashes today? _ ” Kyungsoo inquires, unceremoniously tossing Junmyeon’s backpack to the ground and collapsing into his chair. The takeout box gets pulled towards himself and its contents are inspected while Kyungsoo opens up his own laptop. 

“ _No, just what we’ve seen already. The most frequent one is still the digital whiteboard stopping to work if a session goes on for a long time. Have you made any progress on that?_ _Stop eating my food.”_

“ _ I have no idea why it’s happening yet and I can’t reproduce it on my test setup no matter how long I use the digital whiteboard. I’ve added some tracing though. It will slow live traffic down a little but hopefully I’ll get a clue as to where I should start looking. _ ” Kyungsoo ignores the last part of Junmyeon’s inquiry and shovels rice into his mouth. 

“ _ Oh, thanks for the heads-up NOW. I’ll adjust the alerting thresholds for the monitoring system.”  _ Junmyeon fixes Kyungsoo with a disgruntled look. _ “I’m really not fond of being paged in the middle of the night just to discover that nothing actually happened and I lost sleep over signal noise, Soo. _ ”

“ _ Whoops, sorry. _ ” Kyungsoo’s not that apologetic.

“ _ I suppose I should be grateful you even told me at all, _ ” Junmyeon grumbles.

Kyungsoo clears his throat and changes the subject. Apparently both of them are in a mood today. “ _ Er… I’ll get in touch with Luhan later today to start on the quizzes. Almost every tutor has upvoted the feature request by now. I have some ideas, but I want to talk to Luhan first, otherwise I’ll just be doing the work twice. _ ” Luckily, Junmyeon switches gears as well. 

“ _ Good. I really don’t know why we hadn’t thought about this before we launched. In retrospect it’s kind of obvious that tutors would want to create quizzes they can send out and then grade the result. _ ”

“ _ I know, right? On the plus side, we didn’t have a single complete outage yet and all the features we have so far seem to work fairly well if we ignore the occasional crashes. _ ” At this, Junmyeon laughs with no real humor in his voice.

“ _ Well, you see, for a proper outage we would need some actual  _ **_traffic_ ** _ on our site. _ ” Junmyeon’s tone screams sarcasm. Their site has seen a lot fewer new sign-ups than they had hoped for and even though they have regular users, their number is neglectable. 

_ “If you don’t have anything useful to say, just stop talking. _ ” Kyungsoo’s voice is curt. He’s too tired and worried about too many things to put up with Junmyeon’s smart remarks. 

“ _ Soo… _ ” Junmyeon’s voice is deadly calm all of a sudden. 

“ _ What now? _ ”

“ _ Soo… _ ”

“ _ For fuck’s sake, WHAT?”  _

“ _ Take a look at the link I sent in IRC. _ ”

Kyungsoo clicks on the Twitter link impatiently and scans the contents. There’s a very long period of silence in which the only ambient noise is the humming of the AC and the cicadas chirping outside. Then Kyungsoo speaks. “ _ So it has begun. _ ”

“ _ Seems like it. _ ” Junmyeon drops his derisive tone. 

“ _ I assume you didn’t hear anything yet either? _ ”

“ _ No… _ ”

“ _ I hope we hear something soon. It didn’t feel real for a while since it’s been such a long time, but now it’s a different story. _ ”

“ _ You know they send out the rejections last, right? I really, really hope we will hear something soon, _ ” Junmyeon murmurs, getting up from the bed to stand over Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Together, they gaze at the tweet of someone who had just received their H1-B visa--the first account of an acceptance this year. 

For the first few months after submitting their applications, both Kyungsoo and Junmyeon thought of the subject only occasionally. Since they knew it would take a couple months before H1-B applications would be processed, worrying seemed pointless at the time. But now there’s proof that people are starting to receive acceptance letters. Kyungsoo’s looking at it right now. And gazing at the tweet in front of him, Kyungsoo can’t help but think about his own visa application. Sending all the acceptances out will take  _ months _ . He feels his stomach start to knot tightly at the looming prospect of waiting week after week, having to cope with the nagging, constant possibility of maybe… not receiving one? Getting rejected in the end?

Not being able to go back to Jongin. Kyungsoo curses. 

“ _ I hate the H1-B process so much. _ ” Every syllable conveys his agony. 

“ _ Me, too… _ ” Junmyeon’s hand clasps Kyungsoo’s shoulder and grips tightly while they stare at the tweet. As if the world wants to amplify Kyungsoo’s stress even more, his phone rings in the graveyard scale silence of the room.

“Hyung,” Jongin whimpers as soon as Kyungsoo picks up the call. The tremor in his voice is evident just from that one word. With a massive effort, Kyungsoo forces himself to shove all of his worries to the back of his mind in order to focus on Jongin. 

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo keeps his voice soft and steady. “What is wrong?” On the other side, Jongin’s breathing is getting consistently more uneven, fighting back dry sobs as soon as he hears Kyungsoo’s voice. 

_ “I’ll be back,”  _ Junmyeon mouths to Kyungsoo, making his way out of the room. Kyungsoo nods at him, grateful for the privacy. 

“I need you,” Jongin tells his boyfriend, his voice cracking in the middle of his sentence. “I’m so scared, I don’t wanna lose, I need—” 

“Sweetheart, you need to calm down first.” Kyungsoo decides to tackle one problem at a time. “Breathe in and out for me.” 

“But I--” 

“Just breathe,” Kyungsoo says firmly. “Breathe, and then tell me what you worry about. I am right here. I am not going anywhere, okay?” For a few minutes, there’s only the sound of Jongin’s quiet inhales and exhales, and Kyungsoo uses the time to continue writing his email to Luhan, all the while murmuring words of praise to Jongin, reassuring him that he’s still on the line. 

“I don’t wanna get eliminated,” Jongin says quietly when his breathing has evened out. “I thought that I didn’t care about the competition because I had already made it to Top 20, and I told myself that whatever happens next, I’ll be happy with it.” 

“Mhm,” Kyungsoo hums. 

“But I do care,” Jongin tells him desperately. “Ugh, hyung, I wanna make it to the next round so bad. What if I don’t have enough fans? What if nobody votes for me?” 

“You are again worry about things outside of your control,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “Dance your best. Show them that you must make it to next round.” 

“It’s just--I want it so bad it aches, hyung. I’ve been working so hard at MDC and my partner Makenzie and I, we’ve been practicing every single day.” Jongin exhales hard through his nose. “Even now, when I’m talking about it, my heart is going so fast.” 

“Listen to yourself,” Kyungsoo counsels him. “That is a good thing, Nini. You can en-uhh-- _ encourage? What is it?”  _

“Ummm… motivate?” 

“Aish, close enough. Motivate yourself. Use energy rush you have now to make amazing performance.” 

“Why do you always know just the right things to say?” Jongin asks after a moment’s silence. Kyungsoo chuckles tiredly. 

“You are easy, baby.” Jongin scoffs and Kyungsoo laughs a little. “Love you,” he murmurs with a small smile.

“I think I’m okay now,” Jongin tells him. 

“Yes, you are.” 

“I miss you so much. Can you talk a little, maybe? Are you busy right now?” Jongin’s voice is quiet but hopeful. Kyungsoo looks around at the massive pile of research papers on his desk, his laptop, which is open and shows the H1-B tweet and his email to Luhan in split screen, and Junmyeon’s laptop on his bed, monitoring user traffic. He cups his cheek in his hand and closes his eyes tiredly.

“Not busy. What is up? How are you doing?” 

“We recorded a group performance in the morning,” Jongin’s voice is significantly more cheery than before as he launches into an update on his life. “It went well. I already told you I’m doing a ballroom routine this week, right? OH! We did a really fun interview after the group performance as well, and a couple of solo shots.”

“Interview? What did you say?” Kyungsoo smiles a little when Jongin bursts into laughter at just the thought of his recording.  _ “So cute,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs. 

“They gave us 10 seconds to tell our life story. I had to speak SO fast.” 

“Oh? You should act out for me,” Kyungsoo bursts into laughter at the premise, knowing how cutely flustered Jongin gets under pressure. “I time you.” 

“Okay, okay.” But Jongin doesn’t stop giggling.

“Nini, stop laughing,” Kyungsoo cracks a small smile as his boyfriend’s tinkling laughter fills the speaker. At least one of them is in a better mood. 

“I’m good,” Jongin finally calms down a little. 

“And… go.” 

“Uh, my name is Kim Jongin, I’m 19 years old, uhhhh I was adopted, I--I hate coffee, UMM I really love kpop idol Lee Taemin, PLEASE STAN SHINEE.” 

_ “Jongin! Did you seriously include Taemin in your life story?” _ Kyungsoo snorts while Jongin claps his hands and dissolves into hysterics at his own brilliance. 

“Of COURSE I did!” Jongin shrieks indignantly. “Everyone needs to know.” 

_ “Aish, I should’ve expected nothing less from you.”  _ But Kyungsoo’s swept up in the infectious laughter of Jongin, and he can’t help but chuckle helplessly. 

“Ah, I have more good news!” Jongin’s smile is evident in his voice. “So I was at MDC last night as usual, and I was practicing the choreography for SHINee’s latest comeback.” 

“Which one is that?” Kyungsoo inquires. 

“‘Breaking News’ from their upcoming Japanese album ‘Boys Meet U.’ And I met three friends who are also really big Shawols, and they agreed to cover the dance with me. Also one of the instructors said that they would do it with us as well. So I’ll get to post a group cover on my YouTube channel.” 

“Sounds fun,” Kyungsoo muses. “I am glad that you are still keep up with your own hobby as well.” 

“Of course! It’s really fun, hyung. And I’m getting more and more views on all of my covers.” 

“That is expected,” Kyungsoo smiles proudly. “So proud of you, sweetheart.” 

“Thank you,” Jongin says softly. “I know you’re really busy even though you say you’re not, but I just needed to talk to you. You always calm me down.” Jongin sighs into the receiver. “I want to see you,” Jongin whispers, and Kyungsoo opens his mouth to apologize. “I know you have a lot of stuff to do on your side,” Jongin cuts him off before Kyungsoo can get a word out. “And it’s fine, I’ll wait for you, you know that. I’m just not gonna stop missing you until you come back. I wear your shirts to sleep everyday, and sometimes I… well, Sehun says I cling to him. It’s cause I miss you.” Jongin’s sigh is slightly embarrassed. Kyungsoo is torn between guilt and amusement. 

“I always have time to talk to you,” Kyungsoo tells him sincerely. Honestly, words can’t even articulate his own longing for his boyfriend. Kyungsoo yearns to come home to Jongin’s smile, to warm hugs and shy kisses. He’d give  _ anything _ to listen to Jongin whining for attention even if Kyungsoo’s buried in work. And the fact that he has pretty much forgotten how it feels to wake up with a pliant, heavy boy on top of him while his lungs get crushed depresses him to no end.  _ Sehun’s so damn lucky, _ Kyungsoo thinks scathingly. “I love talking to you, sweetheart. And it is least I can do.”

“Thank you, babe. But make sure to take care of yourself, too.” Jongin is silent for a moment. “Anyways… I gotta go soon. The show starts in a few hours and I have to go to the studio,” Jongin says reluctantly. “I wish I could talk to you more.” He whines. 

“Of course. That is me, too. But you must go to work, do your best today.” Kyungsoo tells him gently. “Good luck, baby. Tell me how you do, send me picture of your outfit.” 

“Okay,” Jongin agrees. “I love you. Bye-bye.” He hangs up, and Kyungsoo sighs. Junmyeon walks back in a few minutes later to see Kyungsoo laying down on his bed, absentmindedly staring at the graphs. 

_ “Ready to get back to work?”  _

_ “Yeah.”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs. But his mind is still on Jongin. 

\--

“Let’s just walk through the steps one more time,” Jongin murmurs to Makenzie, the contestant who has been assigned as his partner for the elimination shows, backstage. The two have been assigned a Viennese waltz for this week, and even though ballroom is neither of their strong suits, the two are evenly matched and work well with each other. Jongin’s at least grateful for that. 

The cameras have been trained on them at all times—from practices, to rehearsals, and even during hair and makeup—but Jongin finds that if he concentrates really hard on the task at hand, he barely notices them anymore. Like now, when all he can focus on is to not accidentally pull on Makenzie’s long, dark brown hair in his anxiety. 

“I am HELLA nervous,” Makenzie squeezes Jongin’s hand while they turn together. “Holy shit.” 

“Me, too,” Jongin tells her. “I feel like I’m gonna suffocate from the pressure.” 

“I’m gonna suffocate from this dress.” Jongin laughs at this and pokes at the ruffles on Makenzie’s poofy pink ball gown. The 18-year old contemporary dancer always finds a way to turn a serious moment into a comical one. Jongin finds himself always laughing around her. 

“We can do it,” Jongin tells her, although he’s mostly trying to convince himself. “All we can be responsible for is dancing our best,” he intones, remembering Kyungsoo’s advice. “The rest is out of our control.” 

“Kai, I’m not even in control of my limbs in these shoes.” 

“Oh, stop.” The two are still giggling when they get called over to present themselves on stage, but calm down once they walk to their positions--Makenzie seated upon a park bench prop, Jongin standing in front of her. Cat Deeley finishes introducing them, then the music starts and Jongin immediately falls into character.

In this dance, he’s Makenzie’s dream man, gracefully waltzing with her on a boring, cold, and rainy night. As Jongin twirls Makenzie in his arms, leading the steps graciously, he can’t help but think of his first date with Kyungsoo, when they had waltzed together in that classy little club to a live band. It seems like a whole other world, and a completely different Jongin that had been clinging onto Kyungsoo. He had been so naive and innocent, totally unsure where he was going in life, only trusting that Kyungsoo was going to be with him in his future. Now, on this coveted stage, with all eyes on him as he dances on national television, Jongin tries to portray his boyfriend: strong and reliable, always willing to shoulder Jongin’s worries on top of his own, and forever finding ways to make Jongin happy. Jongin smiles inwardly while executing a lift. He never would’ve thought that this is the way Kyungsoo would unknowingly support him.  _ But then again _ , Jongin reconsiders, if someone had told him back then that he was going to be on the Top 20 cast of “So You Think You Can Dance,” Jongin would’ve laughed until he cried. Speaking of which,  _ Kyungsoo _ would probably laugh till tears flowed if he ever found out that Jongin was modelling his mannerisms to get into character, but for Jongin, it works better than anything. After all, Kyungsoo is almost always on his mind in some way, shape, or form. 

_ Won’t you take me by the hand; take me somewhere new?  _ Jongin approaches Makenzie, then drifts away again, remembering to step lightly in order to stay floating with his movements. 

_ I don’t know who you are, but I’m with you.  _ Jongin’s nerves have settled into a dull throb, and he finds himself easily falling into rhythm now, dancing with the music and his partner instead of focusing too hard on just the steps. Jongin slips into autopilot and the rest of the routine seems to fly by. Before he knows it, he’s breathing heavily, leaning into Makenzie, staring into her eyes as they hit their final position. 

“We did it,” Makenzie whispers in the split second of time in between when the last strings of music end and the audience erupts into cheers. 

“Yes, we did.” Jongin offers her his hand and they walk to the center of the stage, where Cat is waiting for them. Jongin squeezes Makenzie closer to him while they wait anxiously for the judges' feedback. The storm of butterflies has made it back into Jongin’s stomach now that he’s not preoccupied with dance steps. 

“Mary, what did you think?” Cat prompts, and Jongin almost can’t smile even though he knows the cameras are looking at him mercilessly. 

“Oh, it was beautiful,” Mary begins. “It was romantic, and so perfectly portrayed. I would’ve never known that this was your first time dancing a Viennese waltz; everything was effortless and beautiful.” 

“Thank you,” Jongin breathes a little easier at this piece of feedback; his smile gets looser and more genuine. 

“That first lift you two did, that was just beautiful. The way Makenzie’s dress poofed out and Kai, how you carried her with such ease and grace--it was perfectly executed. Very well done, you two.” Mary finishes her critique while Jongin suppresses the urge to jump up and down. 

“Wayne?” All eyes turn to the guest judge. 

“That first lift Mary was talking about, that truly was amazing. You maintained the fluidity of your movements throughout the entire stunt, and the routine itself was equally as graceful. Well done.” Jongin glances at Makenzie and sees the same ecstasy mirrored in her eyes. The two of them wave at the camera while Cat tells the audience that voting will start after the last performance finished and will be open for around two hours along with the information on how to vote for either Makenzie or Kai, then they’re ushered backstage, where Jongin picks Makenzie up and spins her around happily. 

“Nobody tripped!” 

“Nobody fell down!” Jongin laughs out loud, insouciant and carefree. He’s finished his first dance--ballroom, nonetheless--and it had gone as well as anybody could want it to go. 

“Kenzie,” Jongin grips Makenzie’s hands and looks down at her sincerely. “Let’s keep up this energy for the rest of the show. We did really good today, and I’m really happy with our feedback.” 

“You say that as if we’re going to make it past the first round.” Jongin breaks down into laughter again, promptly collapsing onto the ground. 

“If we end up in bottom 6--” 

“WHEN we end up in bottom 6--” 

“Kenzie, seriously? Okay WHEN we end up in bottom 6 and get eliminated, we’ll still have to perform a solo and one more time together. So you’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Makenzie succumbs to amusement as well, crouching down next to Kai. 

“I’m here for a good time, not a long time.” 

“Oof,” Jongin’s stomach hurts from laughing too hard. “Okay. I suppose it’s better than worrying about voting results.” 

“Oh, of course. You really wanna think about it for a whole week?” Makenzie pulls Jongin back up to his feet. “I got you, though. I mean, we’ll be around each other a lot, so we kind of have to have each other’s backs.” 

“Yep. Wouldn’t want to, you know, accidentally drop you or anything like that.” 

“Wouldn’t want to accidentally step on you.” 

“Rude.” 

“You started it,” Makenzie retorts and Jongin beams. 

\--

“Sehunnie,” Jongin sing-songs when he walks in through the door. 

“Judging by that smile, I take it the show went well?” Sehun glances up from his phone. 

“It went AMAZING,” Jongin pronounces happily. “The judges loved it.” 

“You think you’re gonna be in the bottom 6 and get eliminated?” 

“Probably not?” Jongin chews his lip thoughtfully. “We all have to prepare a solo stage which can impress the judges just in case though. Maybe I’ll panic next week. Right now I’m just over the moon.” 

“Alright, I’ll book a ‘comfort crying Jongin’ in my planner for 2am next week.” Sehun still stands up from the couch, giving him a wry smile and a one-armed hug while Jongin scowls. 

“Don’t mess up my tempo, Sehun. I’m vibin’ right now. I get to record my SHINee cover tomorrow as well.” 

“Ah, right. Fanboy agenda.” 

“YES!” Jongin launches into the steps for the choreography.  _ “IT’S BREAKING NEWS!”  _ he screeches, much to Sehun’s dismay. 

“Is this going to happen every time you finish a performance?” 

_ “LET ME GET EXCITED!!!”  _

“Are those the actual lyrics?” 

_ “LET IT RESOUND, THIS BREAKING NEWS!!!”  _

“You’re so hyper, Jong.” Sehun’s smile slips past the scowl to land on his lips while Jongin spins around and points at him, beaming. Then he drops the act. 

“Do you wanna come with me to the studio tomorrow?” Jongin asks hopefully. 

“To watch you fanboy?” Sehun smirks at him. 

“Well, you DID come here to support me, you know…” 

“I make you dinner and wait up for you everyday, I think that’s a lot of moral support already.” 

“Awww, c’mon, Sehun,” Jongin whines, wrapping himself around Sehun. “Pleaseeee? We can wander around after I’m done recording. I really want to show you around MDC. I promise it won’t take long.” When Sehun looks at him, Jongin has turned on his puppy eyes and cute pout. So Sehun relents. Jongin’s puppy eyes are indisputably persuasive, even after 18 years of friendship. 

\--

“Oh, this is a NICE facility,” Sehun remarks when they walk into Millennium Dance Complex the next morning. Jongin nods in agreement. 

“I love my little studio back in Boston, but it is a nice change,” Jongin remarks. “Oh--over there.” Sehun trails behind Jongin, eyeing the dancers who stare at him just as curiously. Jongin immediately becomes immersed in an excited conversation with his group of friends, and Sehun decides to make himself scarce, sitting down on a bench and pulling his phone out. 

“Sehun!” Jongin calls after a minute, waving Sehun over. “This is my friend from Boston who’s here to support me,” Jongin explains to the group of dancers. “Sehun, these are my friends. Ari, Lucas, and Nick are dancing with me for the cover along with our instructor. This is Eric, and this is Sara. Did you just finish class?” Jongin asks the two, who nod. 

“Nice to meet you,” Sehun murmurs with a winning smile. His eyes linger a little over Eric, who’s not much taller than Jongdae, but gives Jongin a run for his money with how built he is. It doesn’t hurt that he’s wearing a sleeveless t-shirt, and his eyes are currently roving over Sehun’s form as well. Sehun offers the smallest of winks. Luckily, Jongin doesn’t seem to notice, back to talking about the recording with his makeshift group. 

“I’m gonna go record,” Jongin turns to Sehun. “I should be done in a couple hours, at most.” 

“Take your time,” Sehun tells him with a smile. “I’m sure I can keep myself entertained.” Jongin narrows his eyes at Sehun. 

“Sit still and behave.” 

“Woof.” When the group parts ways, Eric looks at Sehun again, who leans against the wall casually. Sehun smirks at him and curls a single index finger; a tiny beckon. Eric’s head cocks to the side with a small smile playing at the corner of his mouth, and instead beckons to Sehun in a strikingly similar gesture. Sehun glances at Jongin through the window separating the dance studio from the lobby. He’s completely immersed in recording. Sehun trails after Eric wordlessly. 

\--

“You’re Kai’s friend?” he asks once they’re both outside and slowly making their way to the back of the building. Sehun nods wordlessly, squinting against the bright sunlight. “You should come to the studio more often.” 

“I might.” Sehun turns to look at the shorter man. “You’re not shy, are you?” 

“Not really, but that doesn’t mean I’m easy.” At this, Sehun throws his head back and laughs recklessly. 

“Looks like I’ve met my match.” Sehun’s hand reaches out and brackets the man’s waist. When he doesn’t complain, Sehun’s hand dips lower, over the curve of his ass, and squeezes brazenly. Eric stops in his tracks. 

“Can’t even wait till we get to the back?” 

”Babe, I’m already at the back.” With his other hand, Sehun pulls Eric closer to him, then firmly palms his ass again. Eric lets out a long, slow, measured breath. Then he places both hands on Sehun’s waist. His thumbs dip underneath Sehun’s white t-shirt and trace along the waistband of his jeans while backing him up against the wall. Sehun’s chest rumbles in amusement as Eric’s hands crawl up Sehun’s shirt more and more, caressing his thin waist, tracing the outline of abs, and finally pinching Sehun’s nipples. Sehun hums in satisfaction and skims his own hand under the sleeveless t-shirt, finding hard muscle and hot, sweaty skin. Neither of them say much as they feel each other up; their touches get more and more daring, as if trying to see who’ll be the first to succumb to the growing tension between them. Sehun chuckles darkly when Eric turns his face up for a dominating kiss. He places both hands on Eric’s shoulders and suddenly flips their positions, bracing one forearm on the wall above Eric’s head while tracing the curve of his jawline with the other, bracketing him in with his lithe figure. 

“Don’t even try.” 

“You underestimate me.” Tongues, teeth, and lips clash furiously but Eric fights dirty, pinching Sehun’s nipple to get him to sigh. When he does, Eric slips his tongue into Sehun’s mouth, tasting, licking, and sucking at every inch of his mouth. Sehun lets out a shaky moan. 

“Toldya, big boy.” Eric pulls away to smirk at him. The hand cupping Eric’s jaw suddenly drops to skim his biceps, then slowly makes its way to the bulge in his basketball shorts. Eric’s smirk is wiped off of his face as Sehun runs three fingertips up and down the smooth fabric, leaving teasing touches up and down the length of the other’s clothed erection. 

“Oh?” Sehun raises an eyebrow when Eric rolls his hips against the barest pressure of Sehun’s fingers. “What was that?” 

“Don’t tease,” Eric snaps. “Get on with it, anybody could see us.” 

“I don’t care.” Sehun leans in to lick salty skin along Eric’s jugular. “Do you?” 

“Kinda, dude.” 

“Then why’d you tell me to follow you?” Sehun chortles, but he gives in and presses the entire flat of his palm against Eric’s erection. “Aw, babe, you’re hard already.” 

“Aren’t you?” Eric’s hand reaches out to touch Sehun as well. 

“It takes me a while,” Sehun murmurs into Eric’s neck. Eric’s hand finds Sehun’s half-hard bulge, and he bites back a gasp. Sehun laughs lazily. “I guess I don’t have to explain why.” 

“Holy shit.” Eric’s hand moves up and down the outside of Sehun’s jeans, causing him to grow even longer. “Dude, you’re packing.” 

“Do you make a habit of calling people that you hook up with ‘dude’?” Sehun jabs, but he stutters when Eric’s entire hand presses hard against his erection and he rubs, causing multiple layers of fabric to slide against the sensitive skin. “Oh, fuck.” Sehun curses and swells to full hardness. “S’good.”

“Yeah,  _ dude. _ ” Eric’s hands go to Sehun’s waistband and rapidly undo his button and zipper. “What would you rather me call you? Daddy?”

”It wouldn’t be the first time.” Sehun’s smile is almost fond as he thinks of a certain wide-eyed, talkative, and insanely cute boy who likes raspberry sorbet and going bowling. 

“How do you wanna do this? We don’t have shit.” Sehun snaps back to reality, which is also pretty fucking nice. 

“I mean, blowing each other sounds pretty fun,” Sehun gasps as a warm hand wraps around his cock. “But I’m not… a novice…” Sehun pulls out a condom and a small bottle of lube from his back pocket. “C’mon, I thought you were just like me. Always be prepared.” 

“I am, but not in my workout clothes. Fuck, I didn’t expect to pick someone up right after practice, okay? You wanna top?” Eric eyes him. 

“Whatever you want.” 

“I don’t even know if you’ll fit,” Eric’s hand doesn’t stop its up and down motion, and  _ god,  _ it feels good. Sehun sighs happily. 

“Never know until you try.” Sehun tugs Eric’s shorts down just below his balls and immediately goes for the gold, pressing his thumb into the leaking slit of his cock which garners a huff from him. 

“Damn.” 

“Turn around,” Sehun murmurs, wrapping a hand around Eric’s waist. Lube is applied in all the necessary places, then Sehun’s practiced fingers are probing Eric’s entrance, slipping inside and immediately searching for the rough little bump somewhere along his walls. 

“Fuck,” Eric pants when Sehun finds it easily. “You don’t-- _ hah-- _ skimp on pleasure, do you?” 

“‘Course not,” Sehun purrs, rubbing around his prostate and teasing it just to get a rise out of the shorter man. “I get good reviews.” 

“With that equipment, I’m not surprised.” Sehun smirks and withdraws his fingers. 

“You ready?” He rolls the condom on and adds lube, then positions himself against Eric’s entrance. 

“Yeah.” 

Sehun presses up close and whispers into his ear. “No, you’re not.” Then he slowly pushes in and Eric groans into his forearm, which is pressed up against the wall of the dance studio. Sehun’s arm is still tightly cinched around Eric’s waist, but his fingers now creep up into Eric’s shirt to lightly rub at a pert nipple while he clenches around the intrusion. 

“Tight and wet, babe,” Sehun hums. “Just how I like it. Tell me when I can move.” 

“Just give it to me,” Eric shoots back through gritted teeth. “You won’t break me.” At this, Sehun throws his head back and laughs, sliding almost all the way out of Eric and leaving only the head of his cock inside to keep him spread open. Then he slams back in, hard. Eric releases a choked groan. Sehun repeats this a few more times, then picks up the pace, thrusting fluidly in and out of the man, aiming for his prostate all the while. 

“There,” Eric gasps when Sehun finds it. “Fuck, there, right there.” 

“Yeah?” Sehun pants as a trickle of sweat runs down his temple. It’s blazing hot, as dry as the desert, and the two of them are fucking pretty much out in public. If anybody happened to take the trash out or even round the corner, no doubt they would hear the sounds of skin slapping against skin in tandem with Eric’s muffled grunts and groans. Sehun’s completely enamored with Los Angeles. “Fuck, you feel so good.” He reaches to wrap a hand around Eric’s hard, neglected cock. When Sehun lets the heavy weight of it sit in his palm, it throbs and pulses precum. Sehun passes a few strokes up and down the shaft, which feels like hot, velvety steel to the touch. 

“You’re so turned on, aren’t you?” Sehun’s ego is usually already stoked because of all the casual sex he has, but something about dominating a man who pretty much kept up with Sehun’s energy and aura until getting penetrated  _ really  _ makes him smug. “Fuck, you’re hot.” 

“You, too.” Eric gasps as Sehun rubs a thumb into his slit again. “Imma come.” 

“Yeah, you will.” Sehun gives a practiced twist of his wrist, slides his fingers over the head, and that does it. “Oh, fuck,” Sehun’s pace falters as Eric cums hard. “Shit, babe, you’re clenching so hard I can’t even move.” A few more thrusts and Sehun cums into the condom as well. 

“That was good,” Eric’s panting heavily from heat, exhaustion, and bliss. “I haven’t had a fuck like that in a while.” 

“Glad I could be of service.” Sehun rolls the condom off, ties it at the top, and gingerly holds it as he gets himself semi-decent again before walking a few feet over to the garbage bins and disposing of it. 

“Did you have the foresight to bring tissues?” Eric asks as Sehun walks back.

“Oh. Fuck.” 

“I’m not a novice,” Eric imitates Sehun’s voice. “Always be prepared.”

“Shut the fuck up. How does Kai deal with you all the time?”

“He’s not a smug asshole like you. He’s a little sweetheart.” 

“But he doesn’t rail you against the side of your dance studio so good you can’t even think, does he?” Sehun smirks. 

Eric winces as he slides his shorts back up to his waist. “Fuck, I need to take a shower stat. And it’s as hot as Satan’s asshole out here.” 

“It’s cause I’m outside.” 

“Dudebro. Do you ever stop?” But the left side of Eric’s mouth twitches with amusement as they walk back into the studio together. 

“Oh, shit,” Sehun mutters under his breath as Jongin comes stomping towards him. “Hey, Jong. Did you finish recording?” 

“DID YOU--” Jongin gestures between Sehun and Eric, who is making a beeline towards the bathrooms. Both guys are red-faced with exertion and unusually bright-eyed. “Oh Sehun.” he spits out between gritted teeth. 

“I’ll leave it up to your imagination.” Sehun smirks and pats the top of Jongin’s head with the hand that wasn’t just on Eric’s dick minutes ago. 

“I can’t--take you--ANYWHERE!” Jongin shrieks, blushing furiously while stabbing Sehun in the chest with a finger. “SEHUN! PLEASE! I’M BEGGING YOU! KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS! I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LOOK HIM IN THE EYE AGAIN--” 

“Jong, do you have his number? He’s pretty hot.”

“I WON’T GIVE IT TO YOU!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I really, really love you guys and you make me so excited to write these super long chapters so that I can spoil you all and make you super happy. I love reading your comments and seeing the hit/kudos/subs/bookmarks move up. Even if you don't read my A/N's or don't leave comments, and you just follow the story, maybe you'll glance at this and know how much Aranee and I appreciate you guys. I don't really have anything else to say, I just wanna make my love for you all known today. When I started this, I was really worried because I was going to be writing a chaptered fanfiction without any irl interaction due to KaiSoo's long distance relationship, and I actually harbored a lot of insecurity because I didn't know if I could keep up the tension between the characters or if you guys would like it at all. But then I received so much support and encouragement from you all, and it made me so much more confident. I know I've reiterated this like a thousand times by now, but I NEVER would have thought that "A World With You" could have gotten this much support. When I posted that first chapter a couple months ago, I only expected ~200 hits and a few kudos. NGL, you guys are amazing. Thank you <3 for sticking with this AU even while KaiSoo are apart as well. And I promise I'm okay, I just feel like telling you guys all of this. :D


	15. guess who

>Has everyone seen this? 

>What is it? 

>Apparently some contestant on SYTYCD is a Shawol! He mentioned SHINee and said Taemin was his bias ^_^ 

>WHAT?

>Really?

>Who is he?    
>Guys, he does covers of SHINee’s songs on his Youtube channel :O 

>Link?

>Here~ 

>Shit, he’s so good… 

>ohmygosh that’s so cute aslfkwaje

>HE’S A CUTE TAEMINT FANBOY LIKE HE’S ACTUALLY CUTE

>OMG

>AWLEKRJ?? HE’S SO CUTE AWTFF

>Awe he’s so good at dancing! 

>Guys, you can vote for him on the show. Voting closes rly soon tho

>Where can we see his performance? 

>A Taemint? On SYTYCD? WE LOVE TO SEE IT!!!!!

>He said STAN SHINee on American national TV! PERIOD!

“Yeol,” Baekhyun laughs as he scrolls down the comments on Tumblr at his desk. “Come look at this.” 

“Hmm?” Chanyeol comes up behind Baekhyun and wraps his arms around him, nuzzling his neck. “What is it?” 

“Kai’s famous for being a kpoppie.” 

“Are you serious?!” Chanyeol bursts into laughter as he sees the post. “That’s hilarious.” 

“It’s so Kai-esque,” Baekhyun snorts. He raises his voice in an imitation of Jongin’s nervous, fast-paced interview. “I really love Lee Taemin. STAN SHINEE.” 

“You should call him,” Chanyeol suggests. “See how he’s doing.” 

“We should!” Baekhyun perks up and grabs his phone. Jongin answers on the third ring. 

“Baekhyunnie!” 

“Did you know your 10 second life story is being shared EVERYWHERE by Shawols?” Baekhyun demands without preamble. “It’s ALL OVER Tumblr and Facebook.” 

“YES!” Jongin’s laugh filters through the speaker. “I’m scrolling through comments with Sehun right now.” 

“You mean the brat?” 

“I’m literally Right Here.” There’s a few yelps, a shuffling of feet, and then Sehun’s voice comes in clear through the speaker. “Chanyeol, control your man.” 

“I pretend I do not hear it.” Chanyeol sits down on the edge of Baekhyun’s bed. His fiance predictably lands in his lap, still happily chattering away to Sehun and Jongin. 

“Anyways, you’re getting tons of call-ins. Yeol and I voted for you, too, out of the sheer goodness of our hearts. And because Kyungsoo would kill us if we didn’t,” Baekhyun adds as an afterthought. Chanyeol’s lips skim over Baekhyun’s neck and his hands tangle into Baekhyun’s hair affectionately. Baekhyun seems to melt into Chanyeol’s body. 

“So you didn’t vote because you thought I actually did well?” Jongin’s voice is pinched in mock-hurt, but his amusement is still evident. 

“You wouldn’t have supporters JUST because you’re a Shawol,” Sehun’s voice filters in from the distance. “Shawols know quality performances when they see them. If you were bad, they wouldn’t even care that you told everyone to stan SHINee.” 

“YES, SEHUNNIE! PERIOT! ACKNOWLEDGE THE GREAT SHAWOL FANDOM, TRENDSETTERS, HIGH CLASS, TOP TIER, UNMATCHED TO ANY OTHER--” 

“Dammit, look what you did, Sehun,” Baekhyun groans as Jongin begins singing a very off-pitch rendition of ‘Lucifer’. “Now we’ll never hear the end of it.” 

“I’m trying to delay my inevitable downfall when he has another mental breakdown,” Sehun stage-whispers to Baekhyun. 

“I won’t have another breakdown until another Taemin fansite posts new pictures,” Jongin stops singing to cut in. 

“Sooo… any minute now?” 

“Kim Kai. How are you doing?” Chanyeol changes the subject, tilting his neck for Baekhyun who leaves small, quick pecks across all the bare skin he can reach from his vantage point. 

“Show 2 is coming up soon. We did a creepy doll group dance. Actually, it was kinda fun. And I have a Jazz routine this time.”

“Who’s your partner?” Chanyeol inquires, smiling a little when Baekhyun’s hand creeps up his shirt slowly. He throws Baekhyun a look, and Baekhyun drops a kiss on the tip of his nose cheerfully. 

“Oh, it’s still Kenzie. It’ll be Kenzie for the whole show up until Week 7, and then we’ll dance with professionals after that.” 

“What if you or her get eliminated?” 

“We still dance together in the show that either of us is eliminated in. For the next show we would be paired with whoever is also without a partner, as one male and one female dancer get eliminated each week starting with the next show.” Jongin chuckles. “I think you can anticipate my solo, cause I’m gonna end up in Bottom 6 this week.” 

“Are you kidding? Do you SEE the comments on this Tumblr post?” Baekhyun immediately takes up an argument with Jongin’s lack of confidence. “Here, I’ll send it to you. Bro, you’re gonna be ranked like number 1 just because you’re a, what, a Taemint? What the fuck is a Taemint?” 

“They’re Taemin fans. Aptly named because Taemin used to hand out candies to his fans as album promotions when they debuted,” Jongin gushes. 

“Shawool.” 

“NO! IT’S SHAWOL! It’s a SHINee World, and you’re just living in it!” 

“Okay, okay, fine. Whatever.” Baekhyun laughs and nuzzles into Chanyeol’s neck gleefully. “Just wanted to check up on you, see if you’re missing me as much as you should.” 

“It’s really great over here. You and Chan should come visit.” 

“N-nah, I think we’re good,” Baekhyun mumbles as Chanyeol’s hands slip under his shirt and his lips attach to Baekhyun’s neck, suckling hard. Baekhyun moans theatrically, smothering his laughter at the silence on the other end of the line. 

“Please tell me you’re not--” 

_ “Chanyeol… ah…”  _

“BYE!” 

“NONONONO, WAIT--” 

_ Beep.  _ The line goes dead. 

“Chanyeol, they don’t like me.” 

“I like you,” Chanyeol promises, staring at Baekhyun with hearts in his eyes. “I like you more than Kai likes Taemin.” Baekhyun pouts, but his unhappiness is short-lived. 

“Well, since they think we’re already fucking, we should probably do that.” 

“We should,” Chanyeol agrees, tucking his hand under Baekhyun’s chin and lifting it up to place his lips against his own. 

\--

“Makenzie.” Jongin’s heart thuds frantically when his partner’s name gets mentioned for the group in the bottom six. They are standing in a line of pairs on stage, awaiting the judges announcement.

“Alan.” Jongin’s heart literally falls out of his chest now, and he resists the urge to peer over to his friend. The other four names are called; Jongin isn’t among them, but he might as well be. 

“You might not have to perform solo,” Jongin whispers, hugging Makenzie’s trembling figure close to him. “The judges might save you, you might not be in the Bottom 4.” Makenzie mumbles something into Jongin’s arms. “Huh?” 

“Toldya I was gonna be Bottom 6.” Jongin can’t help but let a laugh slip out. 

“You’re so self-deprecating.” 

“It’s not self-deprecating if it’s facts. I’ll be fine.” Jongin looks at her disbelievingly. 

“Don’t give up hope.” Jongin releases her and walks offstage at his cue. “I’ll see you in just a second.” 

“Mmmm.” Makenzie’s face is impassive. Backstage, Jongin paces frantically. He can just make out what Cat is saying, telling the audience that the judges are allowed to automatically save one girl and one boy, while the remaining four dancers will have to perform a solo to ‘fight for their life’--their spot on the show. 

“Mariah, step forward. Carlos, Brittany, and Jade, please step forward. We would like you four to dance for your lives tonight,” Jongin hears Nigel say, and his hands fly up to his mouth. “The other two, Alan and Makenzie, are safe.” 

“Oh, thank God,” Jongin grabs both of them the minute they walk backstage. “Thank God, thank God. I told you!” Jongin tells Makenzie, even though both of them are trembling. “I TOLD you that you’d be fine.” 

“That’s just brutal,” Jenna comes up to the small group. “They tell you you’re in the Bottom 6 just to scare you before your performance.” 

“Don’t EVER fall into the Bottom 6 again,” Jongin tells Alan and Makenzie. 

“That’s kinda not plausible,” Makenzie begins, and Jongin claps a hand to her mouth. 

“I don’t wanna hear it. Let’s rehearse.” 

\--

“The story behind this choreography is that I’m this mad scientist and I’ve sort of, uh, created Makenzie, who’s a fembot,” Jongin tells the interviewer right before he goes on stage. “It’s very sexy, very high-energy, and there’s lots of tension between us.” 

“What do you think of it? How does it suit you?” The interviewer prompts. 

“Um… usually, off stage, I’m not really like that,” Jongin offers a shy smile. “But on stage, I’ve learned to portray a lot of different personas, and one of those is how to be intense and sensual. I think we’ve got this one in the bag.” Jongin winks at the camera to add a touch of fanservice. “Aw, man, that was cringy,” Jongin breaks out into laughter as soon as the camera cuts. 

“It was good, Kai,” the interviewer reassures him. “Thank you. Good luck!” 

“Thanks!” Jongin rushes to grab Makenzie’s hand and get into position in the wings of the stage. With the panic that had risen during the announcement of the Bottom 6, their frantic final rehearsal, and the interviews that he had been asked to do, Jongin hasn’t had a moment to himself since he walked into the studio. On the plus side, however: he’s not nearly as nervous as he was for the first performance, since he knows what to expect now. Little by little, he’s starting to adjust to the fast-paced life of filming. “Ready?” Jongin asks under his breath while they walk on stage out of the main camera’s frame. His anxiety threatens to make a comeback with the lull of action, but he focuses on tucking a lock of hair back into place. 

“Yeah. At least I won’t trip in this outfit.” 

“Reminds me of a figure skating dress,” Jongin glances down at her tight, short red dress, then at his sleeveless collared shirt, which is currently covered by a long white doctor’s coat. “I prefer dancing with you in this one. There’s no fear of tripping.” 

“Agreed.” 

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Makenzie and Kai!” Jongin puts on his best smirk--the one that Kyungsoo likes best--and as the spotlight hits him, he throws himself into full-on playboy mode. Truth be told, Jongin really loves this routine; it has an edge of provocation that Jongin is so tantalizing with on stage, and the ‘mad scientist’ role also brings in a psycho concept that’s albeit new to Jongin. Nonetheless, he plays with the dance, adding in his personal flair and interpretation because he’s far more accustomed to this style. Makenzie, too, seems to be more in her element--she follows Jongin easier, her movements are more sure, and her facial expressions are more open rather than choreographed. The pair know they look good, and they pull their weight for all it’s worth. 

“Well done guys!” Cat calls when the two of them hit their final pose. Jongin beams proudly when the applause doesn’t die down even as they make their way to the front of the stage and Cat makes to ask the judges for feedback. 

“Alright, let’s hear it from the judges. Nigel, did you enjoy the routine?” Cat asks when the audience calms down a little. 

“I loved it,” Nigel remarks. “I don’t know what’s up with all the choreographers this week--maybe it’s the hot weather outside--but it was amazing! And you two pulled it off perfectly; clearly there was chemistry, you portrayed the parts so well, just overall grade A execution. Makenzie,” Nigel turns to her. “I don’t know why you were in bottom six, I think you’re a star, and all the other judges think so, too.” At this, Jongin smiles proudly at her. Makenzie’s natural blush peeks out through the rouge already painted onto her cheeks and she nods at the high praise. “We’ll have to convince America to vote for you this week,” Nigel sits back in his chair and the audience roars their agreement. 

“Alright, Mary?” Cat asks. 

“Absolutely agree, I loved the beginning, I loved the end, I loved the bits in the middle as well. It was fabulous. Kenzie, too. I don’t know how you were down at the bottom. You’re a dance diva without the attitude--you’re so humble and so talented.” 

“Too humble,” Jongin mutters under his breath. 

“And Kai--how did you do that body snake move down through her legs and back out again?” Mary’s jaw drops, and Jongin’s smile widens. “I have never seen that move executed so perfectly like that before. And I know it’s difficult to pull off!” 

“Thank you,” Jongin bows his head a little. “Thank you so much.” 

“Christina?” Cat turns to the guest judge of the night. 

“Yeah--Kai, you embodied that routine perfectly. I was so into your character and I think you were, too. It’s so hard to believe that it’s not your real personality and on set, you’re this shy, polite boy who happens to be an amazing hip-hop dancer.” Jongin claps a hand over his mouth and blushes hard.  _ Kyungsoo’s gonna like that one.  _

“Alrighty, you’ve heard it. Make sure to vote for them on the website…” Jongin offers a finger heart to the camera when the lens pans to him as Cat tells the audience how to vote for the week, then wraps it up. 

“Another one down.” Jongin high-fives Makenzie. 

\--

Kyungsoo leans his cheek against his hand, absentmindedly pressing ‘F5’ to refresh the page over and over again, watching the view count on Jongin’s YouTube dance cover tip upwards every time he does so. The other four dancers don’t even matter to Kyungsoo--he only has eyes for Jongin, who fixes the camera with his radiant, cute smile as he perfectly imitates Taemin’s part of the choreography in his new cover. 

_ “Whatcha doin?”  _ Junmyeon flings open the door to his dorm room unceremoniously and Kyungsoo jumps in his chair. 

_ “Holy shit, you scared me.”  _

_ “I come bearing presents.”  _ Junmyeon places a paper bag in front of Kyungsoo.  _ “It’s still hot, I just bought it.”  _

_ “Thanks~”  _ Kyungsoo pulls out the bibimbap gingerly and moves his laptop further back on his desk. 

_ “What were you looking at?”  _

Kyungsoo shrugs.  _ ”What do you think?”  _

_ “Ah, of course.”  _ Junmyeon doesn’t press the point, and Kyungsoo doesn’t elaborate. He hums as he sticks his chopsticks into the bowl, avoiding the cucumber and picking up more carrot sticks and beef. 

_ “Any more H-1B’s?”  _ Kyungsoo asks.  _ “I saw someone else today talk about it. A friend of a friend.”  _

_ “Yeah, same here. Just on Facebook, though. Hey, speaking of Facebook. Your boyfriend is a Shawol?”  _

_ “Ah.”  _ Kyungsoo’s smile is proud.  _ “So you’ve also seen the onslaught of fans.”  _

_ “Man, good for him. He’s got taste.”  _ Junmyeon chuckles as he spoons more rice into his mouth.  _ “And I suppose it gets him recognition on his show?”  _

_ “He’s doing really well,”  _ Kyungsoo brags.  _ “He made it past the first elimination round, he just told me.”  _

_ “Nice! Send me his performance for the second one when it airs.”  _

_ “I will,”  _ Kyungsoo promises.  _ “Look, he sent me a picture.”  _ Junmyeon leans in to glance at the mirror selfie. 

“I… miss… you?” Junmyeon’s head tilts as he continues to read the conversation below the picture. “Wish you… uh…” 

“Could visit.” Kyungsoo’s mouth twitches. “Your English sucks.” 

_ “You just have a superiority complex because you studied overseas twice,”  _ Junmyeon bites at him playfully.  _ “Does Jongin think YOUR English is any good?”  _

_ “He thinks my accent is cute,”  _ Kyungsoo rolls his eyes, but his heart is still fluttering at just the thought of Jongin squealing over him, as greasy as it is. 

_ “Ah, I remember what I visited you for.”  _ Junmyeon sits up suddenly. 

_ “You didn’t visit me just to bring me lunch?”  _

_ “Nah, I always have a motive.”  _ Junmyeon shoves his computer towards Kyungsoo.  _ “Before you… you know…”  _

_ “Yuppp.”  _

_ “Yeah, look at this.”  _ The look on Junmyeon’s face is proud. Kyungsoo raises his eyebrows in appraisal. 

_ “Woah, you really finished the Openstack configuration? Mad respect, man.”  _ He gives Junmyeon an impressed thumbs up. 

_ “Just like an hour ago. If anyone ever asks me if I’d recommend Openstack, I’d respond they should run as fast as they can though.”  _ Junmyeon laughs and throws his hands behind his head.

_ “Well, for Jikdo it’s kinda too late now. Good luck maintaining it,” _ Kyungsoo says with a dose of sympathy in his voice.  _ “I finished the first quiz prototype with Luhan just on time. I’ll launch the beta in the next few minutes.” _

_ “Are you SERIOUS???”  _ The smirk on Junmyeon’s face dissipates, to be replaced by apprehension. He sits straight up and glares at Kyungsoo.  _ “You’re gonna launch this and leave me alone to deal with it?!” _

_ “Have fun!”  _ Kyungsoo’s grin is insufferable. Nothing can get in the way of his good mood today. 

\--

“Kai.” Lindsay, the choreographer for the third week of the show, puts a stop to their run-through. “Your technique is really awesome, but you need to let go a little bit. The piece is supposed to portray Makenzie with a terminal illness, and you finding it hard to cope with that idea. So you need to let your movements be a little more desperate and organic instead of keeping yourself in control the entire time.” Jongin nods, keeping this in mind as he reaches out for Makenzie’s hand. But it’s hard--his natural instinct is to keep himself in check.

“In hip-hop, you don’t always stay with the choreography,” Makenzie sits with her back to the wall, side-by-side next to Jongin when Lindsay calls a break. “You let yourself loose and have a little fun with it, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Same concept here. Find something deep inside you where you couldn’t bear the thought of someone leaving you.” There’s only one place to find that memory, and the thought of it feels as if someone has doused Jongin in cold water. 

~ 

“ _ Remember.” Kyungsoo gently sits back onto the bed, pulling Jongin with him. “Repeat it back to me.”  _

_ Jongin squeezes tears out from his swollen eyes. “Y-you’re not going to--to let me g-go.”  _

_ “I won’t.”  _

_ “You’ll come b-back for me.”  _

_ “Of course I will.”  _

_ “Y-you love me.”  _

_ “Forever.”  _

_ ~ _

“Earth to Kai.” Jongin gasps and blinks, disoriented. Makenzie takes one look at his face and for once, is deadly serious. “I see you’ve found it.” She stands up. “Let’s try it out.” 

\--

“UGH!” Jongin jumps up and down fretfully with Makenzie and Alan while they wait for Jenna’s result; the ballroom dancer has fallen to the Bottom 6 this week. “Why, why, why…” 

“She’ll make it out,” Alan murmurs. “Shh, shh, listen to what they say.” Unfortunately, she doesn’t, and Jongin struggles to keep his emotions in check when the judges call for Jenna to perform her solo. 

“Keep it together,” Makenzie grips his hand. “You don’t know if she’ll be eliminated for sure, and we still have to perform as well. They moved the elimination decision to the end of the show anyway after the uproar online. It really was too cruel to eliminate them in the beginning and then force them to perform happily, if you ask me.” 

“Well, it’s also cruel to let them know they’re in bottom 6 and then expect them to perform happily,” Jongin grouses. 

“It’s a competition,” Makenzie points out reasonably. “You have to learn to keep your emotions in check, especially if the stakes are higher for you.” 

“Yeah,” Jongin murmurs distractedly. 

“Hey.” Makenzie snaps her fingers in front of his face. “You said that we had to have each other’s backs. Snap out of it. I care, too,” Makenzie adds. “I want Jenna to advance as well. But we--,” she gestures between the two of them, “--need to be a little selfish right now. So let’s go rehearse.” 

“Okay.” With a massive effort, he wrenches his thoughts away from Jenna being in the Bottom 6, and focuses on using what little time they have left before they perform to run through their choreography again. 

“Remember to just let go,” Makenzie reminds him. “Be raw and genuine. Show the judges who you want the most, and pretend that I’m that person.” 

“Yeah.” 

\--

“It’s so weird to me that we’re in Top 16 already,” Jongin murmurs to Makenzie right before their performance. “Feels like every week passes in a flash, and then it’s time to choreograph again.” 

“See, what I find strange is I thought I would be spending all week worrying about whether I’m going to survive or not,” Makenzie shares. “But it’s just like you said--right after we finish one performance, we go straight to learning the next one. Not to forget the group dances. So in the end, the only time that I get really nervous is when they announce our results. I suppose that’s a good thing, though,” she adds. Jongin nods in agreement, taking her hand as Cat announces the couple. 

“Just let go,” Makenzie whispers in his ear, and Jongin does. So much so that he almost feels himself starting to tear up as he clasps the sides of Makenzie’s face and touches their foreheads together. He is lost again, already terrified at the thought of Kyungsoo leaving. 

~

_ “I’m never letting you go--I promised you from day one, Jongin.” Kyungsoo wipes the tears away from Jongin’s cheeks as fast as they come. “You don’t remember?” _

~

The ache in Jongin’s chest has subsided a little with time, but it never completely goes away. Jongin misses Kyungsoo in every aspect of his life. Just knowing that he has someone who loves him more than anything, but that Jongin has to live without his presence for the time being, creates an empty space in his heart that aches a little more during reflective, solemn moments like this one. 

~

_ “You’re stuck with me, whether you like it or not--” Kyungsoo pulls Jongin into a fierce hug, “It doesn’t matter where I am, I’m right here,” Kyungsoo presses the pads of his fingers into his initials which dangle from Jongin’s wrist. “Right here,” Kyungsoo tugs at the bottom of Jongin’s shirt, which happens to be Kyungsoo’s. “Right here.” Kyungsoo’s hand slips under the shirt to lay over Jongin’s heart. _

~

The music ends, but Jongin is still stuck in his headspace for a few more seconds as he gasps for air and looks up to the bright spotlights shining down on him. 

“Bro, did you get your heart broken or something?” Makenzie squeezes his hand tightly. “That was amazing.” 

“Yeah.” The haze of longing slowly clears Jongin’s mind. “Yeah, it was good.” He hugs Makenzie close to his chest. 

“With this kind of concept, we don’t always want to see perfect, pointed toes and straight extensions. Sometimes we want a little bit less technique and some more emotion. You guys delivered that perfectly,” Nigel is saying. Jongin smiles to hear the critique. 

“I completely agree with Nigel, I think you guys really portrayed some very real feelings on that stage tonight. You managed to keep the technical aspect of the piece but also balance out the artistry, the gentle, sweet, and beautiful side of a relationship. Very well done.” Mary claps for the two of them along with the audience. 

“Well, I won’t deny that I’m not curious, but I won’t push,” Makenzie tells him when they’re both backstage again. 

“It’s fine.” Jongin smiles. “I’ve come a long way since then.” As he says this, he realizes it’s true. He’s still learning, still adjusting, still pining, but it’s getting better. He’s learned to cope with not physically being with Kyungsoo. He’s gotten more confident in his dancing and himself. Jongin is slowly recognizing that he is his own person, and that he shouldn’t belittle his own hard work. After all, Kyungsoo is still omnipresent, still always a part of him. Jongin’s hand unconsciously reaches down to fiddle with the thin gold bracelet around his wrist. Makenzie doesn’t miss the movement. 

“Why haven’t I ever noticed this before?” She examines the initials on the delicate little charm, glancing up at Jongin. “Your girlfriend?” 

“Boyfriend,” Jongin corrects her quietly. “We’re long-distance.” At this, Makenzie’s eyebrows raise in sudden understanding. 

“Well, that would explain a lot.” 

“It kind of explains the whole thing, doesn’t it?” Jongin bursts into laughter with Makenzie. 

“Hey, whatever works, right?” Makenzie smiles at Jongin. 

“What about you?” Jongin inquires. 

“I’ve got a boyfriend back home, too.” 

“Must be nice,” Jongin murmurs. 

“It is nice.” Makenzie squeezes his hand. “I hope you two will be reunited at some point.” 

“Me, too.” Jongin shakes his head and chuckles a little. They’re both silent for a moment, lost in their own train of thoughts. Then Makenzie taps Jongin’s shoulder. 

“Let’s watch the rest of the performances and see if Jenna made it or not.” 

“Oh,” Jongin groans. He had completely forgotten about the elimination that still had to happen. “Yeah, let’s do that.” Backstage, Jongin alternates between glancing at the live stream of the dancers and texting Kyungsoo. 

[Jongin]

img.8933

I thought about u while dancing tonight :)

it went really well btw

I miss you soooo much TT_TT 

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Cute ^_^

Miss you too, sweetheart. 

When will you be home? 

[Jongin]

we just finished our performance and there is a few others + ending group shots

maybe 3 hours?

ah I have a week-long break from filming because next week they broadcast an all stars game in our slot, so i booked a lot of classes at MDC :D 

i’m rly excited

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Stay safe~ 

And sound fun!

[Jongin]

are you busy?

it’s really early for you right now :O

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

A little

[Jongin]

u always have so much work… 

at least tomorrow is saturday

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

Yes, but still have to work on Jikdo

TT_TT 

I like Jikdo but like talk to you more

[Jongin]

hehe ^_^ 

Love you too ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

im gonna watch the rest of the show 

when i get home can call you?

[ksoo hyung ♥♥♥]

We will see 

:) 

[Jongin]

o :/

ok then

let me know if u can TT_TT 

“She’ll make it, right?” Alan’s voice cuts through Jongin’s thoughts as he comes up behind him. 

“She should.” Jongin slips his phone back into his pocket and returns his attention to the screen. “Ughhh, this is stressful,” Jongin rubs his temples. “Like, I know that it’s a competition, and eventually one of us is bound to get eliminated, but I just hate it when this happens.” He jiggles his leg anxiously. Makenzie reaches over and slaps the side of his thigh. 

“Stop, you’re making me even more nervous.” 

“Sorry.” His leg doesn’t stop moving. 

“Jenna,” Cat calls, and the ballroom dancer steps forward. “You are safe.”

“WOO!” The three of them erupt into applause when Jenna walks backstage. Jongin’s one of the first dancers to reach her and pull her into a shaky hug. “You did it, you’re good, we all made it through.” 

\--

“I’m home!” Jongin calls, breezing in through the door. Sehun glances up when Jongin walks in, hiding a smile as he presents Jongin with a bouquet of roses. “Oh! You got me flowers?!” 

“No,” Sehun mumbles. He’s barely suppressing a laugh. “Check the card.” 

“Huh?” Jongin fumbles within the delicate blossoms and pulls out a small white slip of paper. “It’s Kyungsoo again, isn’t it?” Jongin recognizes the handwriting in an instant. “He’s so sweet,” Jongin coos, gazing at the blossoms adoringly. A pang of longing runs through him, and all of a sudden, he just wants to hear his boyfriend’s voice again. “I think I’m gonna call him,” Jongin reaches for his phone in his back pocket. 

“Read the card.” Jongin flips the card open, puzzled when there’s only two words. 

Turn around. 

“Huh?” Jongin turns around and promptly drops the roses in shock. Sehun swoops to catch them before they hit the floor, then bursts into hysterical laughter. Jongin’s sobs are already bubbling up from his throat and there’s no way to stop them as he goes flying into Kyungsoo’s waiting arms. He almost expects to run right through the vision of his boyfriend in front of him, but he doesn’t--Kyungsoo staggers, then collapses onto the floor while Jongin sobs nonsensically into his shoulder.

“Oof!” 

“No.” Jongin gasps in between the tears which are streaming down his cheeks. He pulls back and takes in Kyungsoo’s beaming face. There are dark circles underneath his eyes and he smells faintly of stale, pressurized air. His face is thinner and pale, showcasing the mental and physical toll of months of stress and overwork and heartache, but he’s Kyungsoo in the flesh, smiling and holding Jongin steady while looking at him tenderly. Jongin tries to speak but he’s crying too hard to get a word out. 

_ “Aigoo, why are you crying?”  _ It’s Kyungsoo’s throaty, deep voice, the one that Jongin longed to hear so badly.  _ “Nini, I missed you so much.”  _ Kyungsoo’s lips barely brush Jongin’s earlobe while he murmurs slurred, sleepy Korean to the weeping boy in his arms.  _ “I’m here now, so there’s no need to cry anymore. Okay? Aish, you haven’t changed at all.”  _ Kyungsoo’s arms tighten around Jongin’s waist.  _ “Still my Nini.”  _ He pats Jongin’s back gently, trying to help soothe the emotional shock that Jongin’s still trying to work through.

“Unghh,” Jongin chokes out, then gives up on coherency and resumes crying again, burying himself into Kyungsoo’s chest. Kyungsoo tries to kiss him through his tears, but his boyfriend is too emotional and hysterical to handle anything more than the tight hug that he’s being embraced in, so he ends up just crying into Kyungsoo’s mouth. Kyungsoo gives up for fear of being bitten and begins wiping Jongin’s tears off of his cheeks gently, chuckling as he does so. 

“Nini, Nini. No more crying,” Kyungsoo coos, struggling to sit up with Jongin toppled over on top of him. With a little bit of difficulty, Jongin ends up sniffling and gasping in Kyungsoo’s lap, still clutching onto his shoulders tightly. “I am here, shhh. Easy, easy.” 

“It’s--” 

“Hmm?” Kyungsoo’s warm hand cups the side of Jongin’s face while his thumb brushes away the last stray tears. 

“It’s n-n-not a joke, r-right?” Jongin’s chest heaves up and down while he frantically tries to get himself back under control. Sehun’s background laughter only gets louder at this question. Kyungsoo finds this hilarious as well. 

“Not joke.” His lips curve up into a giant, beaming, heart-shaped smile. “It’s me, Nini.” He kisses the tip of Jongin’s wet nose. “I am here.” 

“H-how?” Jongin hiccups. “Y-you’re so busy--you said you c-couldn’t visit and you h-had work--” 

“I plan surprise,” Kyungsoo murmurs, finally succeeding in planting a kiss on Jongin’s lips. “So hard to not tell you, last few week.” Jongin’s tears are renewed when he feels Kyungsoo’s lips touch his, infinitely more soft and plush than he had remembered or imagined. A tiny bit of complacency creeps into Jongin’s system while his mouth moves against Kyungsoo’s. He fists his hands into the cotton of his boyfriend’s t-shirt and breathes in the scent of his boyfriend--not from a half-empty cologne bottle, but emanating off of his warm skin and steady body. He’s really here. He’s here to stay, to hug him, kiss him, hold him to sleep--

“How long?” Jongin pulls back and whispers, not even sure what he wants the answer to be. He clutches onto Kyungsoo tightly, as if he’ll fade away if Jongin releases him. “How long can you stay?” 

“Not for good,” Kyungsoo answers. His accent is less strong in person than it is over the phone, but it’s definitely more noticeable than when he was studying overseas. “Two weeks.” Kyungsoo clasps Jongin’s face in between his hands and gazes at Jongin wonderingly, as if he himself is also having a hard time taking it for granted that he’s back with Jongin.  _ “My sweetheart,”  _ Kyungsoo’s brain can’t articulate English fast enough; his heart is already overflowing with ecstasy.  _ “My Nini.”  _ He bursts into merry laughter when Jongin tries to speak, but now he’s hiccuping and can’t stop. Jongin laughs shakily with him. 

“Where-- _ hic-- _ where are you staying?” 

“Hotel. A few… few uh, minute away from here.” 

“Can I-- _ hic-- _ stay with you?” 

“Goddamn,” Sehun stands up, wiping tears from his eyes from laughter. “You sure left me fast.” 

“Sh-shut up, Sehun.” Jongin buries himself into Kyungsoo’s firm chest. Kyungsoo pulls him close, combs his fingers through Jongin’s hair, and rests his forehead on the junction of Jongin’s shoulder and neck, murmuring quiet Korean that Jongin doesn’t pick up. “Y-you don’t-- _ hic-- _ c-care--” 

“Jong, I got JONGDAE--the absolute workaholic he is--to SKIP work and pick Soo up from the airport for you,” Sehun snorts while Jongin tries to quell his hiccups. “C’mon. I don’t mind watching you two cuddle, it’s kinda cute, but you should get off of the ground--” 

“NO!” Jongin shrieks when Sehun tries to pull him to stand up. “NO-- _ Kyungsoo _ \--” He clings onto his boyfriend tighter. Kyungsoo’s chest shakes with laughter, but his own arms are firmly secure around Jongin’s waist as well. 

“He’s right there, he’s not going anywhere. Go pack a bag and get out of here so I can finally invite Eric over to fuck.” 

“I’m never coming-- _ hic-- _ back.” 

“Not even when he leaves?” Sehun inquires just to get a rise out of Jongin. 

_ “Hic.  _ No. I’m gonna go to Korea-- _ hic.”  _

“That’s fine by me.” 

“I like that,” Kyungsoo murmurs. “Just take you with me.” Jongin nods into his chest fervently. Sehun squats down and pats Jongin’s back. 

“C’mon, Jong. Get up, you’re probably squashing his legs.” 

“No!” 

“Let’s go, Nini,” Kyungsoo whispers, stroking his hair. “I go help you pack up.” Jongin stands up immediately, continuing to cling onto Kyungsoo, a little light-headed and still hiccuping. Sehun sighs. 

“Of course you won’t listen to anybody but him now.” 

“Mmmm,” Jongin hums in agreement. It still hasn’t fully settled in that Kyungsoo’s really back. Jongin flits around uselessly more than anything, draping himself over Kyungsoo’s back, leaving shy pecks on his cheek while Sehun does most of the packing, interlacing their fingers together at the most inconvenient of times. Kyungsoo tries to help Sehun as much as he can, but most of the time he’s bogged down by Jongin, who seems afraid to be physically apart from Kyungsoo for any more than ten seconds. Kyungsoo relishes in it, chuckling good-naturedly and letting Jongin have his way, even though his head is pounding from exhaustion and jet lag. Just to have Jongin back beside him is enough. 

“Good riddance,” Sehun calls when Kyungsoo picks up Jongin’s duffel bag for him and intertwines their fingers. Jongin hesitates, then slides his hand out of Kyungsoo’s grasp to hug Sehun. 

“Thank you,” he whispers, embracing his best friend. 

“Aw, I didn’t do anything.” Sehun pats Jongin’s back gruffly. “You happy?” Jongin nods. His eyes shine with immeasurable joy. “Looks like it.” 

“You helped bring him back from the airport and stuff. And everything else--supporting me, looking after me, keeping me company, all of that. Being my best friend.” 

“Kyungsoo’s making you sappy, it’s kinda cringy. Go be with him.” Sehun ruffles Jongin’s hair. “I’m gonna text Eric.” 

“Gross.” 

“No, you.” Sehun twiddles his fingers. “Bye. Have funnnn.” Jongin positively radiates contentment as he bounces back to Kyungsoo and clasps his waiting hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jongin's just a little fanboy, that's it  
> and he's HAPPY.  
> your comments last time were super sweet and encouraging TT_TT I'd love to hear what you think now! XD <3 Love you all ahahahahahaha  
> thank aranee for everything   
> like entertaining me by talking about accents instead of actually getting work done :3


	16. reunited

Walking hand in hand with Kyungsoo down four blocks of Los Angeles in the mottled twilight back to Kyungsoo’s hotel feels like a fever dream to Jongin. He barely looks where he’s going as they stroll along the sidewalk, constantly sneaking glances to his left at Kyungsoo, who does the same and smiles in that reassuring, quiet way of his that soothes Jongin’s overexcited nerves. The second the couple walk into the hotel room, Kyungsoo is pressed up against the door. Jongin’s duffel bag thuds to the floor, completely forgotten. 

“Nini,” Kyungsoo has time to whisper before soft, desperate lips are pressed up against his. The elder lets Jongin taste him, although he curbs Jongin’s speed and desire by keeping their fingers tightly interlaced together lest Jongin try to sneak a hand up into his shirt. “Nini,” Kyungsoo tries again when Jongin breaks away for air. 

“I missed you so much,” Jongin tells him hoarsely. Kyungsoo only smiles tiredly and clasps both of Jongin’s hands in either of his own. Jongin swings their arms once, twice, while Kyungsoo walks him backwards towards the bed. 

“Nini, sorry,” Kyungsoo murmurs, collapsing on the king-sized bed while Jongin clamors on top of him like an eager puppy. “Too tired.” Now that the initial excitement of finally seeing his boyfriend has worn off, the jet lag hits him like a ton of bricks, and all he wants to do is curl up with his baby bear and sleep for three days straight. But apparently Jongin has other ideas. 

“I’ll take care of everything, hyung, promise. I missed you too much,” Jongin’s lips have attached to Kyungsoo’s neck and he suckles greedily. 

“Jongin-ah,” Kyungsoo whispers softly, pulling Jongin off and brushing his hair out of his eyes. “Later, baby, later,” Kyungsoo repeats when Jongin wilts. “Just need little sleep.” 

“Mmmmmmm. Okay,” Jongin whines before agreeing, sneaking in one more long, lingering kiss. Kyungsoo smiles against his lips, stroking up and down Jongin’s back softly to convey his thanks. “I should take a shower, I’m really sweaty from filming,” Jongin sighs, flopping down next to Kyungsoo, who’s struggling to keep his eyes open even though his legs are still dangling off the side of the bed. 

“Do that,” Kyungsoo mumbles, fumbling at his belt and the constraints of his jeans with one hand before shucking them to the floor carelessly. Jongin makes a sound like he’s been punched, but Kyungsoo simply crawls under the covers. 

“Hyung, you can’t tease me like that,” Jongin whines, laying down over the entirety of Kyungsoo’s curled-up body on top of the sheets. “M’so horny,” Jongin nibbles at the shell of Kyungsoo’s earlobe. One floppy arm reaches out from under the duvet to stroke Jongin’s hair apologetically. “Okay, okay,” Jongin finally relents, dropping one last peck on Kyungsoo’s cheek. “I’m gonna shower and then come to bed. Do you want some dinner?” 

“Sehun…” 

“He fed you? Okay, that’s good.” Jongin slides off the bed. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Mmh.” Kyungsoo’s fast asleep before Jongin even steps into the shower. 

\--

When Kyungsoo wakes up, the room is pitch black, save the faint illumination of the digital clock on the nightstand that reads 3:26am. Kyungsoo sighs. He was hoping for at least a solid 12 hours, but unsurprisingly, jet lag has woken him up with complete disregard for his wishes. Kyungsoo moves to sit up but quickly realizes that this is impossible when he’s holding a slumbering pretty boy who has managed to squeeze his entire 6-foot self into Kyungsoo’s arms. The night is dark and it heightens the rest of Kyungsoo’s senses; Jongin smells like the hotel’s coconut shampoo, his breath is quiet and even, and he is still very much erect, as Kyungsoo finds out when he trails his fingertips along Jongin’s toned biceps, pets along the shape of his bare waist, and traces his way along Jongin’s deep, delicious v-line to where his cock rests, hard and neglected. At least now, after a few hours of sleep, Kyungsoo’s regained some of his energy, and with that energy comes the awareness that he is  _ damn  _ horny himself. His own cock is pressing into the back of Jongin’s thigh, providing a teaser of what he’s been missing for the past few months _.  _ With some effort, Kyungsoo carefully reaches over his precious armful and fumbles for the small bottle of lube already tucked into the nightstand’s drawer. The younger only twitches in his sleep when Kyungsoo wraps a firm hand around his cock.

_ “Baby, you’re so beautiful,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers to Jongin, even though he knows his utterances only fall ears to the silent night, before curving under the elastic waistband of Jongin’s boxer shorts to his butt. Kyungsoo resists the urge to squeeze a handful, instead sliding one slick digit in between Jongin’s cheeks and rubbing the pad of his finger against Jongin’s entrance. Jongin twitches again, whimpering a little, but still remains--Kyungsoo is absolutely incredulous; at this point, the boy could sleep through an apocalypse--asleep. More compliments, more fantasies are whispered in the dark while Kyungsoo carefully inserts a finger. 

_ “Baby boy, you’re so tight,”  _ Kyungsoo’s voice is low and raspy in Jongin’s ear,  _ “Is it for me? God, I love you, you know that? I can’t wait to feel you again, I can hardly wait.”  _ Jongin remains unconscious for a few more seconds, but it’s not long before he slowly comes to his senses when Kyungsoo teases the edge of his prostate. He promptly lets out a low, sleepy moan that sounds very much like Kyungsoo’s name. The elder pretends like nothing has happened, continuing to whisper sweet nothings to Jongin while fingering him. 

“Oh,” Jongin gasps when Kyungsoo slides a second finger in next to the first. He’s still half-asleep, not completely sure how he got into this position, but given the extenuating circumstances and the pre-cum leaking from the tip of his cock, he isn’t complaining. “Oh,” his voice gives way to small little whimpers and incoherent mumbling. 

_ “Let me take care of you, it’s been so long,”  _ Kyungsoo’s breath is hot on the back of Jongin’s neck, raising goosebumps and causing tremors of want, lust, and desire. Jongin moans freely, especially when Kyungsoo crooks his fingers and rubs strange patterns into his prostate. A third finger brings upon an incoherent stream of low keens and drowsy but desperate rutting as Jongin moves back against the intrusion. The stretch makes him ache--it’s been a while since he’s been penetrated--but the sting keeps him cognizant enough to shiver in anticipation. Then Kyungsoo withdraws from his ministrations completely and Jongin flips over to meet Kyungsoo in a long-overdue kiss, full of unsaid words and loose tongues and ravenous mouths that only part halfway before melding back together. Heart-shaped lips press against warm, plump ones, tasting, taking, touching everything, everywhere. Hands roam freely, exploring each other’s bodies, mapping out all the soft curves and hard lines of muscle and heated skin in the midnight darkness. There are tangled sheets in the most inconvenient of places and tiny kisses placed on the least expected slivers of skin: the tip of a collarbone, the soft of Jongin’s eyelid, the love line of Kyungsoo’s palm. All Jongin can do is moan and clutch at Kyungsoo because truth be told, he has NO idea what just happened, only that if this is a dream, he’ll start crying and never stop if he wakes up anytime soon. They kiss until neither of them can stand it anymore, and then they frot, sloppily, desperately, uncontrollably, grinding their cocks against each other until Jongin positively writhes in pleasure and Kyungsoo’s about to lose his mind. Only then does Kyungsoo slip behind Jongin’s back and slide home, a guttural groan torn from his lips as he sinks into Jongin’s velvety soft walls. Jongin’s whimpers and moans are never-ending and he promptly ruts back against Kyungsoo, who grits his teeth, wraps an arm around Jongin’s slender waist, and rests his forehead against Jongin’s raised shoulder blades. And Jongin realizes that Kyungsoo--calm, regulated, unhurried  _ Kyungsoo-- _ is so taken by Jongin, so impossibly aroused that he’s shaking from the effort of trying not to cum right then and there. 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin chokes, grinding filthy and tight back into him, “Please, fuck me, take me, anything--” Kyungsoo begins a slow pace for his own sake, luxuriating in the slide of sensitive skin against the stretch of Jongin’s clenching little hole. Jongin curls into Kyungsoo, melding perfectly against every inch of Kyungsoo’s body while the elder holds him closer than skin and presses soft, tender kisses against the back of Jongin’s shoulders and up his neck. 

“I missed you,” Jongin tells him in between contented sighs while Kyungsoo makes love to him. “I missed you, I love you.” 

“Me, too,” Kyungsoo whispers back, feeling warmth pool in his heart and gut while he slides in and out of Jongin leisurely. “Jongin, Nini, sweetheart.” His hand finds Jongin’s and he laces their fingers together, placing their intertwined hands on the dancer’s toned, flat stomach to give himself leverage to grind deep into Jongin and make him softly cry Kyungsoo’s name over and over again. Kyungsoo’s pace becomes erratic just as Jongin’s whines get more and more high-pitched; neither of them warn the other before they’re cumming together--Jongin completely untouched--nestled against each other while their pleasure makes them senseless. When they finally come back down from their high, Jongin turns to face Kyungsoo. Even in the dark, Kyungsoo can make out Jongin’s smile as they touch foreheads together, then lips in a chaste, sweet kiss. It’s far too late for any words, but both of them radiate contentment when Kyungsoo pulls Jongin even closer to himself. Jongin burrows into the junction between Kyungsoo’s neck and shoulder, shoves a leg between Kyungsoo’s, and latches on like a floppy baby octopus. The elder smiles drowsily, presses a kiss into Jongin’s hair and manages to drift off again. Post-orgasm exhaustion and a soft, pretty, warm boyfriend beats out jetlag anytime. 

\--

Jongin blearily opens his eyes to a dim hotel room with only a sliver of sunlight peeking in through the thick brown curtains. One of Kyungsoo’s arms is still wrapped around his waist, keeping him close even though he must’ve turned over at some point in the night. A sleepy smile breaks out over Jongin’s face when he realizes this; he’s almost hesitant to grow fully complacent and take it for granted that Kyungsoo is REALLY here with him, peacefully asleep next to him in bed. 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin whispers softly, remembering how much the elder likes to be woken up with ex’s and oh’s. He carefully makes his way to Kyungsoo and drapes his own arms around his boyfriend, peppering Kyungsoo’s cheeks and jawline with sweet kisses. “Kyungsoo,” Jongin murmurs again, breathing in the familiar, musky scent. “G’morning.” Kyungsoo stirs a little. “Kyungsoo,” Jongin mumbles reverently. Kyungsoo lets out something that almost sounds like a choked sob and wraps both arms around Jongin, who’s laying half on top of him. 

“I love you.” Kyungsoo’s morning voice is hoarse and deep and it makes Jongin feel  _ so,  _ so warm and fuzzy.

“I love you, too. How did you sleep?” Jongin inquires softly. 

“Ahhh…” Kyungsoo hums. “Okay.” 

“I had a good dream,” Jongin mumbles into Kyungsoo’s neck, blushing at just the thought. That’d been a nice, hazy surreality. 

“What it was about?” The conversation is punctuated with more chaste kisses and long, extended silences where each of them try to convince themselves that they’re really back together. 

“You were in it,” Jongin tells Kyungsoo’s collarbones before nibbling at them. “And it was amazing.” Kyungsoo’s chest rumbles in amusement. 

“Are you sure it was dream?” 

“Hmmm…” Jongin’s too lazy to answer. This must be heaven on earth, Jongin thinks drowsily; being cradled in strong, safe arms, laying so close together that Jongin only has to purse his lips to graze Kyungsoo’s, cuddling with each other completely naked--wait, why aren’t they wearing clothes? Jongin’s eyes fly open and he pulls back a little to take in Kyungsoo’s content, puffy face, eyes half-lidded from sleep and comfort. Jongin traces a red love mark on Kyungsoo’s neck that definitely wasn’t there yesterday afternoon. Kyungsoo’s eyes open a little more when he realizes what Jongin’s just now starting to piece together, and he chuckles again, reaching out to press at Jongin’s own hickeys over his jugular and nestled over the top of his hip bone. Jongin glances down, suddenly aware of the soreness in his ass and traces of dried come. Jongin flushes bright red. 

“It was real?” At this, Kyungsoo bursts into laughter far too loud for the situation at hand. 

_ “You really were only half-awake, weren’t you?”  _ Kyungsoo reaches around Jongin and pulls him against his own debauched body, squeezing him tightly and lovingly.  _ “Oh, Nini, what am I gonna do with you?”  _

“Uhmagod,” Jongin mumbles into Kyungsoo’s shoulder, shutting his eyes and trying to process what happened a few hours ago. “Uhh.” 

“Want repeat?” Kyungsoo chuckles, running his hands through Jongin’s hair. Jongin melts into his touch, almost purring as Kyungsoo lightly scratches his scalp. This is so, so nice. How many kittens did he save in his past life to deserve this?

“Repeat in the shower,” Jongin finally makes out. He’s almost drifted back to sleep. “What time izzit?” 

“Ah… 9:18.” Oh shit. Jongin’s eyes fly open. 

“Fuck, I have class at 9:45.” 

“Aww.” Kyungsoo sighs into Jongin’s neck. “Okay.” 

“What… what about you?” Jongin sits up and winces at the twinge of discomfort at his backside. Oh, well. Small penance for a  _ big  _ reward. 

“Me? Follow you.” Kyungsoo chuckles and reaches for his phone. “What is uh… day like?” 

“My schedule? Class, I have class practically all day. I would’ve booked less if I had known you were coming,” Jongin laments, ruffling his hair ruefully. “I can cancel some later ones, but I’m full today. I have two hours off for lunch,” Jongin adds. “And I get out of my last class at 7.” 

“Okay,” Kyungsoo agrees amiably, staring at Jongin like he’s some sort of Greek god. “Then we… can… we can get… lunch?” 

“Yeah,” Jongin slides out of bed to take a fast shower. “I’ll give you the address before I lea--” 

_ “FUCK.” _ Kyungsoo curses as he stares at his phone. 

“Babe?” Jongin is back at Kyungsoo’s side in an instant, his mind running through a thousand different scenarios at once. “What?” 

“Junmyeon,” Kyungsoo mutters, flicking through his missed calls and text messages from Jikdo’s irate President. 

“D-do you have to go back?” Jongin asks softly, glancing at Kyungsoo in trepidation. 

“What? No. No, no.” Kyungsoo reassures the worried boy.  _ “Apparently I have a lot of work now, too.” _

“Oh.” Now that Jongin’s worries are dispelled and he’s safe in the knowledge that Kyungsoo will also have something to occupy him, he races through a shower, gets dressed, dabs concealer over his neck, and kisses Kyungsoo good-bye. 

“Pick me up if you can. If not, I’ll just come back here,” Jongin whispers, wrapping his arms tightly around the elder, who’s already seated at the desk in the hotel room with his laptop and jabbering away in fast, anguished Korean while Junmyeon yells at him. Kyungsoo spares Jongin a soft smile and a sweet kiss before returning to the topic at hand.

“ _ THIS IS WHY YOU DON’T LAUNCH ANY NEW FEATURES BEFORE YOU LITERALLY GO INTO AIRPLANE MODE FOR A DAY! How did you not even check your mails as soon as you arrived? I told you NOT TO! _ ” Junmyeon’s wrath instantly dispels any lingering feelings of peace that Kyungsoo could’ve possibly had.

“ _ Bu- _ ” Kyungsoo tries to speak, but Junmyeon refuses to let him get a word of defense in.

“ _ Not only did it NOT WORK in production, no. BUT it even introduced a bug so bad that it led to CASCADING FAILURES IN OUR ENTIRE SERVER FLEET! Congratulations, you caused our first outage with your recklessness. By the time I saw the first failures on the dashboards and rolled back, it was already too late, because it’s a CASCADING FAILURE AND COULDN’T BE STOPPED UNTIL WE HAD REACHED THE COMPLETE OUTAGE! AT PEAK! TEACHING! TIME! _ ” Junmyeon punctuates each of his words with all the frustration and anger that he has. Kyungsoo physically shrinks back in his seat.

“ _ I- _ ” The only thing Kyungsoo can be commended for at this point is his bravery for still trying to defend himself while being screamed at by an irate Junmyeon.

“ _ I TOLD YOU LAUNCHING THE QUIZ WAS IRRESPONSIBLE! I shut down everything, restored the configuration before the failures started, reverted your change and managed to get everything up and running again eventually. But the brand damage is done. We are barely in our first weeks and we needed GOOD reputation, Kyungsoo. Not an outage that lasts almost HALF A DAY. If you dare to EVER do anything like this EVER AGAIN I swear I’ll throw your H-1B into the Han River as soon as you get it.” _

_ “I don’t have my--”  _

_ “GOOD!”  _ Junmyeon snarls.  _ “THIS IS WHY YOU DEVELOPERS SHOULD LISTEN TO US SITE RELIABILITY ENGINEERS! Learn your lesson, Kyungsoo. _ ” Kyungsoo is very small and repentant. He knows he really, seriously messed up and compromised Jikdo’s future now after the already rocky launch that didn’t attract as many customers as they had hoped. He swallows, rising up to confront the feelings of guilt swirling around in his chest.

“ _ Say it. You will never again do something like this. You will listen and adhere if I voice serious concerns about your methods and plans. And you better deliver a postmortem to me as soon as possible. _ ” Junmyeon’s voice is a little calmer now, but he is dead serious about every single utterance. Kyungsoo can feel this is a make or break moment.

“ _ Hyung, I’m really sorry. _ ” And he is; not just because he detests Junmyeon breathing down his neck.  _ “I was being flippant with Jikdo, I know I shouldn’t have made such a brash decision.” _

_ “Kyungsoo.” _

_ “And I shouldn’t have left you to deal with all of my consequences,”  _ Kyungsoo amends quickly.  _ “I’ll figure out why the quiz led to cascading failures that took down all of our servers along with what processes we need to implement to prevent similar mistakes in the future and write it down in a detailed postmortem. I will not sleep before I get this to you. _ ”

“ _ Uh huh. _ ” Junmyeon’s tone is a little more than chilly, but Kyungsoo knows that’s the least he deserves.

“ _ I’ll get the quiz fixed as soon as possible as well and get it back up. _ ”

“ _ Kyungsoo. _ ” 

“ **_After_ ** _ I test it thoroughly and make sure it’s actually working this time, including mechanisms to deactivate the feature before it can cause cascading failures. _ ” Kyungsoo tries to prove everything Junmyeon had told him about good launch practices in the past wasn’t wasted on him.

“ _ That’s the bare minimum. _ ” Kyungsoo can hear the strain in Junmyeon’s voice from dealing with his mistake. The poor guy has probably aged a whole year in a single day. 

_ “I didn’t mean to,”  _ Kyungsoo knows he’s bordering on the edge of pleading now, but he really hadn’t. Junmyeon’s only reply is a snort. 

_ “No SHIT.”  _

_ “I’ll be better, hyung.”  _

_ “UH--YEAH, YOU BETTER BE.”  _

\--

Sehun has just finished tossing his sheets in the washer when his phone rings. 

“Hullo.” 

“Sehunnie, can I hang out with you for the day?” Jongdae asks.  _ Absolutely.  _ Sehun does a happy little dance and punches his fist in the air. 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

“I’ll be over in twenty minutes.” Jongdae hangs up. 

\--

“Hey,” Sehun swings the door open and scans Jongdae up and down. Christ, nobody should ever look that good in basketball shorts and ugly sneakers. “Wassup?” Instead of an answer, Jongdae’s lower lip juts out in a pout. He looks upset and melancholic. 

“Oh, okay.” Sehun understands even before Jongdae tells him. “Yo, come inside. Let’s just chill.” He immediately goes into protective mode, cursing Seojun for constantly causing Jongdae anguish. Sehun can’t even stomach the thought of making Jongdae upset in any way. 

“She’s not living with me at the moment,” Jongdae says quietly, stepping through the threshold. At this, Sehun whirls around. 

“What?” 

“We decided we’d just… we needed a little break. So we’re on hiatus. I think she went to her best friend,” Jongdae sighs heavily. “And I didn’t know who else to go to.” 

“Ah, Jongdae…” Sehun takes a step towards Jongdae, who has jammed both hands into the pockets of his shorts and is looking very small and confused. “You can come to me anytime, you know?” He drops the unworried, stone-cold act and treats Jongdae gently, carefully. Jongdae needs someone to take his mind off of things and make him laugh. He needs to affirm that he’s still wanted by his friends. Sehun can do all of that and more. He’ll do anything for Jongdae, even if he hates the fact that he will. 

“Hey, hyung? C’mere.” Sehun beckons towards him and Jongdae shuffles forward a few steps. “Come on.” Sehun holds his arms out hesitantly. “Would you like a hug?” 

“Yes.” His voice is tiny and so is he when Sehun engulfs him with his embrace. 

“It’s okay,” Sehun tells him, feeling his heart rate speed up when Jongdae’s arms wrap around his waist and squeeze tightly. “Don’t blame yourself, you always do that.” 

“Did I do something wrong?” Jongdae asks Sehun. “I didn’t mean to mess up.” 

“No, no. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Sehun strokes Jongdae’s hair softly. “Sometimes things just don’t work out. Maybe you two will figure it out later.” Jongdae stands stock still, although the tension in his shoulders has relaxed a little from Sehun’s comforting actions. “Don’t worry about it right now so much. You’ll just feel even more shitty.” Jongdae doesn’t answer, just turns his face into Sehun’s shoulder. It isn’t until Sehun feels his shirt become wet that he realizes Jongdae is shedding a few quiet tears. 

“I sound really easy and shallow, but I miss her already,” Jongdae says. His voice is quite steady, even as the wet patch on Sehun’s sleeve grows bigger. “I’m just really lonely right now.”

“Aish, Jongdae…” Sehun pats him on the back, biting his lip to keep the river of words from flowing out of his mouth.  _ I’ve loved you for years, I want you so much. How could you ever think that you were anybody else’s? You’re mine; I’ll take care of you and make you happy. I promise you’ll never be alone. You’re precious and amazing. Please let me love you.  _ The intense desire to protect and possess almost overwhelms Sehun, and he has to fight to stay calm and strong.

“Could you… do you wanna… stay a few days with me? If you’re not busy? And if you’re okay with it… ” Jongdae’s voice is trembling now. “Be my honorary boyfriend? I can’t be alone right now.” 

“Of course,” Sehun agrees immediately. “Baby,” he adds ironically, but at least it makes Jongdae laugh shakily.

“Thank you,” Jongdae sniffs a little, reappearing to wipe stray tears from the corners of his eyes. He drops his gaze when he steps back, as if afraid to look at Sehun. “Is it okay to ask you these things? Please don’t judge me. It’s just that you help… a lot.” 

“Oh, nonono, never.” Sehun reaches forward and grips Jongdae’s wrist tightly. “Hyung, I’m happy to stay with you. Yeah? We’ll have a lot of fun together.” 

“Okay,” Jongdae nods gratefully. Sehun smiles at him. Being with Jongdae is heaven. It is also hell. 

\--

“Hmm, Sehun’s staying with Jongdae, apparently,” Jongin mumbles around his salad, scrolling through his phone and leaning back in the chair. The couple had decided that they would rather take lunch at the hotel instead of at a restaurant somewhere, so Jongin had picked up something from the nearby grocery store and now here they are, cuddling and picking their way through half-wilted spinach. Kyungsoo shifts a little on his lap to turn and look at him interestedly. He’s still tapping away on his laptop, and when Jongin had asked if he could take a break, Kyungsoo had awkwardly run a hand through his hair and murmured something about Junmyeon not being in the best mood at the moment. Jongin lets it slide. “He and his girlfriend are going through a rough patch,” Jongin reports. “Jongdae, I mean. Not Sehun.” Kyungsoo laughs. “And he’s horny as fuck cause he gets to look at Jongdae’s ass all the time now, but…” Jongin’s fingers fly over the keyboard. “He’s always horny anyways, so no surprise there.” He hits send, tosses his phone back on the table, and reaches for his bowl of salad. 

_ “Jongdae doesn’t know that Sehun likes him?”  _

_ “No,”  _ Jongin shrugs. “Jongdae isn’t purposely teasing him. And Sehun would bend over backwards for him even if he didn’t have feelings for him.” 

_ “Yes, Sehun’s like that.”  _

“Mmm.” Jongin butts his head against Kyungsoo’s arm. “Sometimes I suspect… well…” Jongin trails off thoughtfully. “Anyways, I suppose I shouldn’t assume.” 

“He will be okay,” Kyungsoo brushes a stray lock of hair away from Jongin’s eyes before returning his attention back to the screen. “Both.” 

“Yep.” Everything is twice as convincing when Kyungsoo says so. Jongin looks up at him adoringly, and Kyungsoo smiles, ruffling Jongin’s hair. 

_ “Your hair is black again.”  _

“Huh?” 

“Hair… color?” 

“Oh, yeah. I kinda wish I could do honey brown, but I don’t wanna change it in the middle of filming. Maybe afterwards.” Jongin shrugs and tugs a few strands down in front of his eyes to inspect them as well. “D’you like honey brown?” 

“I like you.” 

“What if I did purple? Or like a really bright blue? Would you still like me?” Jongin’s being crass now, but he likes Kyungsoo's reaction; smiling up at the elder when he snorts and stares at Jongin incredulously.

“Why that change… change feeling for you? Your hair?” 

“Dunno. Maybe I’m really ugly with bright blue hair.” 

“Always pretty,” Kyungsoo murmurs, touching the tip of his index finger to Jongin’s nose, then lightly tapping it. Jongin blinks.  _ “My Jongini’s so pretty.”  _ Jikdo pricks insistently at him still, but Kyungsoo’s currently very sidetracked.

“Noona neomu yeppeo,” Jongin sings softly, smiling when Kyungsoo picks up the lyrics. 

“Micheo~” Kyungsoo sways a little on Jongin’s lap as he runs through the rest of the chorus. Jongin basks in the sound of his boyfriend’s voice washing over him. He sounds so good live, with his smooth vibratos and little adlibs. Jongin claps when Kyungsoo finishes his acapella version of ‘Replay’. 

“Missed your singing,” Jongin says softly, wrapping both arms around Kyungsoo’s waist. “Missed you.” 

“Miss you, too.” 

“I have a request,” Jongin murmurs into Kyungsoo’s shirt. 

“What is it?” Kyungsoo inquires while Jongin reaches for his phone. 

“Do you remember the New York trip we took?” 

“Of course.” Kyungsoo ruffles his hair. 

“Do you remember how you said that we could cover ‘Replay’?” Jongin looks up eagerly, pressing play on the song. Kyungsoo looks beyond amused. 

_ “Baby, you overestimate my abilities.”  _ When Jongin looks confused, Kyungsoo shakes his head. “I am not singer.” 

“But you sound so good.” Jongin pouts and looks up at Kyungsoo with puppy eyes. The elder’s heart  _ melts.  _ He swings one leg around Jongin’s waist, straddling him, and pulls the younger boy into a kiss. “Hmm--” Jongin’s taken by surprise, but melts into the kiss. “You taste like chicken,” Jongin remarks when Kyungsoo pulls back. “Not the best kiss we’ve ever had.” 

“Heh.” Kyungsoo rests his forehead on Jongin’s shoulder, silently basking in his presence for the third time today. Jongin’s skin is damp from his shower, and he smells fresh and clean. There’s even a hint of that citrusy scent that always clung to him back in Boston. 

“Would you do it for me, though?” Jongin asks as ‘Replay’ continues playing in the background, emphasized by the comfortable lull of silence that the couple fall into. “I want to post something for Taemin’s birthday next week, and it would be so fun if we could do a dance and singing cover together.”

Kyungsoo chuckles ruefully.  _ “My voice will definitely give out. Karaoke nights and a little bit of lessons 8 years ago isn’t conducive to anything near SHINee’s vocals.” _

“What?” Jongin nuzzles into Kyungsoo’s neck.

“I am not SHINee.” 

“I KNOW, babe, it’s just a cover.” 

“But--” 

“Pwease.” Jongin uses his puppy eyes.

_ “If you weren’t so cute…”  _ Kyungsoo grumbles.

“But I am. So you’re gonna do it for me, right?” Jongin giggles when Kyungsoo rolls his eyes affectionately. 

_ “You’ll have to dance really, really well to make up for my singing.”  _

“I can! I’ll work really hard on my part.” Jongin beams and burrows into Kyungsoo’s chest. “Thank you, thank you, hyung. Can we do it tonight?” 

“HUH?”

“There’s free studio time around 8, so we can record it together then. Or at least the dancing part, and you can come with me. I can show you around MDC as well!” Jongin beams at the thought. “And then we can get a late dinner at this awesome Italian restaurant. Oh, and we can take a walk and I’ll show you the filming site.”

_ “I’m gonna need a nap,”  _ Kyungsoo chuckles; he can already feel the beginnings of tiredness seeping into his mind,  _ “but that sounds like fun.”  _

“Then take a nap after I leave,” Jongin murmurs, glancing at the clock. “I gotta go in about an hour and a half.” 

“Mmkay.” Kyungsoo smiles when Jongin’s fingertips crawl into Kyungsoo’s shirt and make small, slow circles around Kyungsoo’s waist before shyly moving to the front. 

“You have baby abs,” Jongin coos when he feels Kyungsoo’s stomach, which is still endearingly soft and squishy, but now there’s definitely an undernote of definition to his build. Especially in his arms, which have bulked up a little in the past few months that he’s been in Korea. Jongin’s hands move to Kyungsoo’s pecs and brush over sensitive nipples, making Kyungsoo jump a little. 

_ “What are you doing, sweetheart?”  _ Kyungsoo looks utterly amused.  _ “Trying to convince me a different way now?”  _

“Just having fun.” 

“I need to work…” Kyungsoo murmurs under his breath, but does nothing to stop Jongin’s attempts to duck his head under Kyungsoo’s t-shirt.

“You’re just enabling yourself to get distracted at this point,” Jongin points out as Kyungsoo saves him the effort of crawling under the cloth and pulls his shirt off in one smooth motion. Jongin’s breath hitches as he stares at Kyungsoo, half-naked and still straddling him. He can almost physically feel himself harden, and knows that Kyungsoo will, too. Jongin also feels his head go completely blank, save one thought that repeats itself over and over: Kyungsoo-hyung is  _ THICK.  _

_ “So we like what we see, huh?”  _ Kyungsoo smirks when Jongin’s eyes dilate. He gently grabs Jongin’s limp hand, which had taken to gripping the sides of the chair when Kyungsoo stripped, and redirects it to lay on top of warm, dry skin.  _ “You can touch all you want, Nini.”  _ Jongin swallows hard; that’s a lot of skin to be suddenly readily accessible. Kyungsoo--fuck--he looks so good, subtly grinding against Jongin’s half-hard erection, both of his hands placed seemingly innocent on his thighs, patiently sitting and waiting for Jongin to do some exploring. Except Jongin’s very overwhelmed and even a little dizzy from all the blood that stopped circulating to his brain and went straight to his groin. He barely knows where to start. 

“Nini?” Kyungsoo tips his boyfriend’s chin up using two fingers and looks at him with concern. “I break you?” 

“Huu--” 

“Start here,” Kyungsoo carefully pulls Jongin’s hand up to his shoulders. “Touch hyung.” Jongin’s heart constricts; he wants to be pliant, wants to make Kyungsoo feel good--he thumbs the dip at Kyungsoo’s collarbone before moving to his bicep, feeling the small curve of muscle and how firm Kyungsoo’s arms are. The elder flexes a little and Jongin keens. His mind flashes to a scene where Kyungsoo’s bracing himself over him, muscles rippling with strength, bending down to kiss Jongin while he slides in an--

“Oh,” he gasps as Kyungsoo moves himself more firmly over Jongin’s erection.

_ “Is it just me, or have you gotten even easier since I've been gone?”  _ There’s a tone of warmth in Kyungsoo’s teasing voice that sends fire flicking through Jongin’s body pleasantly. “Baby,” Kyungsoo purrs. “Easy Nini. All mine.” 

“Yours,” Jongin automatically agrees, sliding his hands down to flick at Kyungsoo’s nipples again. Kyungsoo hums in satisfaction and cups his hand behind Jongin’s head, bringing it closer to his chest. Jongin takes the hint, tilting upwards to take one of the dusky pink nipples into his mouth, lapping grainy strokes over it and suckling greedily. He’s rewarded with a gasp and fingers scratching at his scalp gently. Jongin reaches up with his hand to play with the left one while he laves at the right one until it’s red and ultra-sensitive. Then he switches sides, slowly gaining more confidence and rhythm. 

_ “You like this, don’t you?”  _ Kyungsoo asks in between small pants, and Jongin whimpers in agreement while suckling. His hands roam freely now, making wide arcs over Kyungsoo’s back, tiptoeing along the pretty line of his spine, and curve around to the front to pet over his stomach again.  _ “Do you want more?”  _ Jongin nods frantically. Yes, he wants to be good, wants whatever Kyungsoo will give him.  _ “Get on your knees.”  _ Kyungsoo slides off of Jongin’s thighs and gently tugs him up from the chair. In one smooth motion, Kyungsoo sits down, spreads his legs wide to accommodate for the tent in his shorts, and presses Jongin down to kneel in front of him. Jongin promptly moans at their position. He’s hard from just anticipation; scooting forward just a little to place his hands on the fleshiest part of Kyungsoo’s thighs and nosing at the bulge in his pants. 

“Please?” Jongin asks. A warm smile emerges on Kyungsoo’s carefully controlled face. 

“Nini, so polite,” Kyungsoo coos, stroking Jongin’s hair back from his face.  _ “Go ahead. Wanna see what else you can do with that pretty mouth.”  _ And with that, Jongin’s hands eagerly tug at Kyungsoo’s waistband. His cock immediately slaps against his lower stomach when Jongin tugs Kyungsoo’s underwear and shorts down under his balls with a little shimmying from Kyungsoo to aide in the slide. Jongin whimpers again, taking in the sight of Kyungsoo sitting above him, pre-cum leaking from the tip of his dick and just begging to be licked. 

“Wait,” Kyungsoo utters as Jongin moves forward. Jongin halts and looks up at Kyungsoo. “Shirt off.” Jongin obeys, blushing when Kyungsoo’s piercing gaze immediately eats up his figure. He glances down at his body self-consciously and wraps his arms around his torso to hide some skin. 

“No,” Kyungsoo’s voice is gentle. “Come here.” Jongin immediately lifts himself up from sitting back on his haunches and drapes his upper body in Kyungsoo’s lap, burying his head into Kyungsoo’s thigh so that he doesn’t get shy from seeing his boyfriend stare at him.  _ “You’re beautiful,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers, clasping one of Jongin’s hands and bringing it to his lips, making Jongin feel safe and comfortable even in their very naughty positioning.  _ “It’s just me. Don’t hide yourself.”  _ Kyungsoo gently strokes Jongin’s hair.  _ “Do you want this?”  _ He guides Jongin’s hand to his cock gently, but it is Jongin who wraps his hand around the base and pulls upwards slowly to hear Kyungsoo groan lowly in his throat.  _ “Fuck, okay, baby. You want it.”  _ Jongin immediately thumbs at the wet slit of Kyungsoo’s cock. Kyungsoo’s head tips back and his eyes are half-lidded with pleasure already. “Good boy.” Jongin  _ shudders,  _ then leans forward and tastes salty, musky pre-cum. Something about it makes Jongin’s head spin with heady desire, so he leans forward and pokes his tongue into Kyungsoo’s slit to lick up every bit of it possible. Kyungsoo twitches above him, and this makes Jongin very brave and very pleased. He pops the head of Kyungsoo’s dick into his mouth and swirls his tongue around the sensitive skin before taking in more, keeping a hand wrapped around the base. Jongin purposely uses a lot of spit to make the slide easier, letting it dribble out of his mouth and down the length of Kyungsoo’s cock. Before long, he twists a hand around whatever he can’t reach with his mouth and sets a comfortable rhythm, flicking at the sensitive underside of the frenulum with his tongue every time he pulls upward. It’s sloppy and messy and a little awkward, since Jongin hasn’t given head in almost five months, but when he glances anxiously up at Kyungsoo, the elder is gripping the armrests of the chair, clenching his thighs tightly so as to not buck up into Jongin’s mouth. Upon making eye contact with Jongin’s inquisitive gaze, he lets out a long, dirty groan. 

_ “Fuck, you’re so amazing. It feels so good, I forgot how good you were at taking cock.”  _ Kyungsoo pets through Jongin’s hair shakily while Jongin hums happily.  _ “Just like that, Nini.”  _ Jongin’s throat slowly relaxes enough so that Jongin can brace himself and sink down to take Kyungsoo deep. The first time he only lasts a couple seconds before he gags and has to pull off for breath, but Kyungsoo intertwines his hand with the one resting on his thigh. 

“Slow, baby. Take time.” Jongin tries again, and this time, he manages to control his gag reflex when the tip of Kyungsoo’s cock touches the back of his throat. He keeps firm suction and licks up and down Kyungsoo’s shaft. Kyungsoo groans low again. He sounds completely wrecked. 

_ “Oh, fuck, Nini. I swear you’ll make me cum way too soon, ugh--”  _ At this point, his Korean is so slurred that Jongin can barely understand what he’s saying, but he still moans, sending vibrations tingling through Kyungsoo’s shaft because of how unbelievably hot the situation is. Kyungsoo lets out a guttural moan and cums hard down Jongin’s throat without any warning. Hot, salty cum fills every corner of Jongin’s mouth unexpectedly and he chokes, pulling off to swallow whatever was already sliding down his throat anyways. Kyungsoo’s cum lands on his chin and cheeks in ropes of white. 

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo apologizes immediately after the world stops spinning for him. “I’m so sorry.” 

“Don’t be.” Jongin’s voice is raspy. “It… it was so hot.” Jongin’s cheeks heat up and he cheekily flicks his tongue out to lap up whatever cum got onto his lips. Kyungsoo watches him lazily with blown-out, aroused pupils. 

“Baby cumslut,” Kyungsoo whispers. Jongin shudders, then preens when Kyungsoo swipes a finger over Jongin’s cheek and chin, then feeds it into his mouth.  _ “What do you need? You wanna cum?”  _ Jongin opens his eyes from suckling on Kyungsoo’s fingers and becomes painfully aware of how hard he is. He whimpers and nods.  _ “What do you want? Hyung will give you anything you want since you’ve been so, so good today.”  _ Jongin only catches every other word, but it’s enough to understand the gist of it. 

“Mouth?” Jongin whispers, blushing as he always does when Kyungsoo asks him to be verbal about his carnal wants. Somehow, asking for things is so much more daunting than acting on his body’s feelings. “B-but anything is fine.” Kyungsoo will actually die. He’s going to pass at the young age of 24, and Junmyeon’s eulogy is going to be about how irresponsible he is. This, this--seeing Jongin on his knees, achingly turned on, still covered in traces of Kyungsoo’s cum, yet squirming shyly when asked what he wants--it’s more than Kyungsoo can bear. God, how did he even make it through four months without seeing Jongin? How could he have even considered, much less  _ actually  _ walked away from this precious boy at the airport in February?

_ “Yah,”  _ Kyungsoo laughs helplessly,  _ “between you and Junmyeon--”  _ Kyungsoo loses his train of thought when Jongin looks up at him from under hooded eyelids and long eyelashes.  _ “You’ll both kill me,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers, feeling like he’s about to explode as Jongin flicks the last bit of cum off of his face and licks it off of his own finger. “Uhhhfff.” This is definitely how it feels to be head over heels. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting so patiently for updates that take a little longer these days! Rest assured that Aranee and I are both always working on new chapters for you all, we just want to put out our best work :)  
> The COMMENTS I got on the last update were so, so sweet, I'm SO happy that I made you guys so excited eheheheheh  
> You guys are so cute, every single one of you is just /adorable/.  
> Thank you for the massive outpouring of support that we're getting, it means so, so much. I'm really happy to write this as well! Hope you guys liked the update, and that you will leave some feedback <3  
> I'll be back soon~~


	17. hot boy summer state of mind

“And one, two, three, four, FIIIVE, six, seven, EIGHT!” The calls of Jongin’s contemporary dance instructor, Erica, ring out through the large dance studio as 40 dancers follow her instructions. “Okay, stop. That was good. Switch lines!” Jongin passes through two other dancers and ends up in the front; in this way, every dancer gets a turn to see themselves unobstructed in the mirrors that cover the entire front wall of the studio. While Erica claps out beats again, Jongin takes advantage of this one run-through in front of the mirror, making sure that each position is angled correctly and executed to its maximum aestheticity.  Balance , Jongin reminds himself. Every move that he executes has a certain place where it looks the best on his body. After almost eleven years of dancing, those positions are locked into muscle memory; when he hits a certain pose, he almost immediately knows if it’s balanced or not. But still, having the mirror there is a good way to check that he’s perfectly in place, and it helps with working on his facial expressions. 

“Stop.” Erica quickly takes back to the front of the room to demonstrate a slow grind onto the floor. “Some of you are rushing this by pre-anticipating the count. It goes one--see, I’m still upright--AND two, now turn and lower, three, four. Make sense?” Jongin brushes his sweaty bangs back from his forehead and nods with the rest of the dancers. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Lucas, one of the many friends that he’s already made at MDC, marking the rest of the choreography while Erica talks. “Okay, let’s try it again, everyone. Two more times: one with counts, one with music, and then we’re going to record a short feature dance to post on our YouTube channel.” Jongin puts maximum effort into both run-throughs. At the end of some, if not most classes, the instructors usually pick about 9-12 dancers who they thought executed the choreography best to perform in three triads or five doubles for a short dance practice video. It offers good exposure, and MDC fans on social media even pick and choose their favorite instructors and frequently featured dancers. Jongin’s already been in two or three videos, given that instructors and some of the dancers who’ve been at MDC for years noticed him either from his screen time on SYTYCD, or just because of whatever talent he happened to showcase during that class. Today, apparently, is one of those days as Erica gathers all the dancers closer together and points to the ones she wants to feature. 

“Kai. Great interpretation today, totally killed it. Ari, in the back over there. And… Jacob. Really great job keeping up. You three make up a trio.” There’s nothing to be done about the sweat, but Jongin attempts to at least arrange his hair for the camera so he doesn’t look totally exhausted, even though he is. Jongin says a silent prayer of thanks that he chose a black shirt today, because the sweat stains won’t show through. The contemporary piece that Erica taught was killer, but Jongin musters up the last of his energy to perform it, especially since Erica places Ari as center and Jongin in the back. Not that it’s his intention to steal the spotlight, but he still wants to stand out in the video. The rest of the dancers make a half-circle in the background of the video, cheering and hyping the three of them up. While Jongin stays in character for the choreography, keeping his face somber and sorrowful to match the emotional music, his heart is secretly so, so full. 

The little dance studio that he practically spent his childhood at in Boston holds a special place in his heart. It’s known his blood, sweat, and tears; all his successes and failures, good and bad days. But there came a time when Jongin began to exceed even the skill level of the local instructors that taught him since he was a little kid. Not that Jongin minded--on the contrary, he remembers being thrilled that he could choreograph and bounce ideas off of his childhood mentors and role models, and humbled that they treated him as their equal. However, the studio never offered him any challenge anymore. Jongin had to find that on his own. Stepping out of his comfort zone in Los Angeles, Jongin never expected that he would find such a vibrant, diverse, and supportive community of elite dancers that he could learn from at MDC. It was like taking a step up and embracing the next level of his dance career that he hadn’t even known could exist. Even the first nerve-wracking lesson he took at the world-renowned dance center had immediately instilled a sense of belonging and ambition in him that he couldn’t possibly have found had he never left Boston. Like now, as Ari and Jacob high-five him and Erica dispels class with a large round of applause and polite bows. 

“What’s your next class?” Ari inquires as they shuffle their way through the crowd of dispersing dancers. She’s a stunning black girl who kills every footwork sequence and can shake it like nobody’s business. Jongin can only dream of picking up choreography as fast as her during hip-hop classes. 

“I have hip-hop tomorrow with Ian at eleven,” Jongin supplies. “You?” 

“Same. Hey, the ‘Breaking News’ cover that we did is getting a ton of views, by the way.” 

“Ah, yeah! I saw that.” Jongin smiles fondly. “If this continues, I think it might even break the number of views I got on my first cover.” 

“Oh, forreal? That’s awesome!” Ari high-fives him again. “If you ever want to post another group cover, let me know. I’m totally down to be Minho anytime.” 

“Ayy.” Jongin throws her a thumbs-up as she picks her stuff up to take her leave. “I gotchu. We just have to anticipate the next comeback.” 

“Knowing SHINee, it’ll be great. OH! That reminds me--there’s a fan event happening at a cafe downtown in a few days. You know, for Taemin’s birthday? They’re giving out cup sleeves and fan support merch if you order a drink.” 

“REALLY?!” Jongin’s excitement peaks. “There are fan events here?” At this, Ari laughs, full and throaty. 

“Of course. Here--I’ll text you the info, yeah?” 

“Oh my god, please do. Catch me there for the entire event, I’m not even joking.” Jongin’s phone pings with the text message. “Thank you! I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Will do. Cya!” Ari waves behind her back, and Jongin turns to grab his things as well when a tantalizingly familiar figure catches his eye in the lobby. Surprised and half-excited, Jongin makes his way out of the huge studio into the main part of the building, which is filled with armchairs, couches, and dining-style tables and chairs for spectators or visitors. Jongin’s suspicions are confirmed when he notices the small bouquet of yellow flowers in his boyfriend’s hands, and Jongin barely stops himself from throwing himself into Kyungsoo’s arms. 

“Hey,” Kyungsoo coos, tiptoeing upwards to fondly tuck a lock of hair back. “So sweaty.” 

“I was working hard,” Jongin accepts the flowers and glances around before brushing a light kiss across Kyungsoo’s cheek. It’s not like anybody would scold him for showing a little PDA after class, but Jongin still tries to keep Kyungsoo out of his professional career’s spotlight as much as possible, mostly because he doesn’t want to hear people talking about his personal life more than the talents that he’s worked so hard to hone and perfect. Kyungsoo finds it adorable. 

“Always work hard,” Kyungsoo praises, smiling up at him. “You record now?” 

“Yeah, I asked Erica, and she said I can have the studio for an hour and put it under her name. The instructors are really chill,” Jongin says over his shoulder as Kyungsoo follows him into the huge studio. “And super supportive of the dancer’s solo projects and things like that.” 

“That is good. They must have like. Like lot of connection,” Kyungsoo remarks, taking in the giant black letters hung up on the famous red wall. 

UNITY IS DIVERSITY. 

“I only see this in video. And now you here as dancer,” Kyungsoo murmurs, turning to smile at Jongin proudly as he plugs in his phone and sets ‘Replay’ on replay. 

“I’m gonna kiss you if you keep being supportive.” Jongin blushes. 

“I watch you film in class, so beautiful. Even if you not center, all I watch is you.” Kyungsoo laughs as Jongin breaks the intense stare he has on himself in the mirror and ducks his head down to his chest to hide his pleased, beaming smile. 

“Could you please sing a little so you stop being so cute?” Jongin giggles, grabbing Kyungsoo by the hand to spin him around the vast, empty studio. Kyungsoo’s face morphs from barely concealed delight to full-on laughter as Jongin twirls him around, completely unconcerned that Jongin is smelly and sweaty. “Here, I’ll teach you really, really basic choreography for ‘Replay’. The easiest steps.” Kyungsoo acquiesces, stepping a little away from Jongin. “Re-play, re-play, re-play.” Jongin slowly walks through the iconic chorus choreography, gleeful when Kyungsoo follows easily, although his movements are, of course, less sharp and not as balanced as Jongins. “Yeah! Just like that.” When Jongin continues, however, Kyungsoo takes one look at the demonstration and gives up, sitting down on the ground to softly sing an acapella version of the debut song while Jongin runs through the choreography once just to make sure he has it down. 

“Okay,” Jongin pants after a few minutes, “let’s try this. I’ve been working on it for a few days now, actually. You don’t have to sing the whole song in one take,” Jongin calls as he leaves the room to call someone to help record. “I want it to be from different angles, and we can always cut and piece voice recordings together.” 

“Okay.” Kyungsoo sits down along the wall to watch his boyfriend fondly when he quickly explains to the cameraman what he wants. As he watches Jongin, Kyungsoo marvels in how much confidence Jongin exudes in his movements now. Not that he wasn’t already amazing when Kyungsoo had first attended that one showcase last year; but now, there’s been a significant change to Jongin’s aura as he dances. Even with no background in the art whatsoever, Kyungsoo can discern that Jongin’s dancing is high-quality, slowly becoming unique in style and technique. Not only that, but Jongin follows the camera easier, makes eye contact quicker, and seems more comfortable in front of the camera instead of holding back with his expressions and being shy. A lot has changed in just the few months since Jongin has begun to constantly dance and practice while being filmed, Kyungsoo realizes. It’s not just the massive improvement in Jongin’s technique, but the way that he presents himself in front of an increasingly bigger and bigger audience. He’s become more natural, more authentic. A feeling of pride rises in Kyungsoo’s chest and swells. When Jongin finishes recording, Kyungsoo claps for him, startling both him and the cameraman. 

“Sorry.” Kyungsoo apologizes. “Continue.” Jongin flashes a warm, thankful smile at him, then returns his attention to the recording. 

\--

_ “I don’t know what to do with myself around you,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs when the two pull apart after an intense yet sweet make out session in the backlot of the studio where all of SYTYCD is being filmed. The sun had set hours ago when the couple sat in the booth of a cozy Italian restaurant together after wrapping up Jongin’s SHINee cover. As the sky turned from gray to blue to black, Jongin’s hand remained intertwined with Kyungsoo’s at all times while they wandered over to the filming site. The distant whoops of partygoers and bright city lights make it apparent that the night is still young, but under the cover of darkness, Kyungsoo had pressed Jongin up against the brick wall of the building, slotted one of his legs in between Jongin’s, and didn’t let him up for air once until all the breath was kissed out of his gorgeous dancer. Now, in the semi-darkness lit up by flashing neon signs of bars and clubs and restaurants, Kyungsoo touches foreheads with Jongin, whose pupils are wide with desire. Still, an underlying, omnipresent trace of tender love glimmers in Jongin’s eyes as he stares into Kyungsoo’s happily. 

“Love you.” Jongin blushes at the blatant sincerity in Kyungsoo’s words, dropping his head to resume the kiss. Surrounded by a hot, dry breeze and discarded piles of wooden pallets, they take their sweet time with each other; kissing just for the sake of it, and not as a buildup to anything more carnal. Kyungsoo handles Jongin adoringly, kisses him the way he deserves to be kissed everyday.  _ Fuck long-distance, _ Kyungsoo thinks with vengeance as Jongin’s fingers slide up the nape of Kyungsoo’s neck into his hair and pull him even closer.  _ Fuck every second he spends away from Jongin.  _ Now that he’s here, Kyungsoo can’t even think of living without Jongin; his sun-kissed Nini who tastes like fresh summer peaches and melted caramel from the ice cream sundae they shared. Who kisses like sweet spring honey but loves like Mid-July, full of hot, hazy dreams and tangy mango juice and damp perspiration clinging to skin.  _ If I could spend the rest of the summer here,  _ Kyungsoo thinks as he licks into Jongin’s pliant mouth,  _ there’d never be anything that could compare to this.  _

_ “I have a surprise for you,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers when they pull apart after what seems like an eternity. 

“This is enough,” Jongin tells him, and  _ God,  _ Kyungsoo can die happy now. Still, he smirks at Jongin and lets out a quiet, knowing laugh. 

_ “Trust me,”  _ he offers his hand to Jongin, who clasps it tightly, still holding his bouquet of yellow primroses with his other hand,  _ “you’ll like this.”  _

\--

The cool air from the air-conditioner is a welcome relief to the incessant heat, and Jongin promptly pulls his shirt over his head the second Kyungsoo closes the hotel door. After such a quiet intimate evening with each other, the sight of shirtless Jongin is enough to scatter Kyungsoo’s priorities, with ‘eat Jongin out’ shooting straight to number one. Unluckily for his libido, Jongin perches on the edge of the king-sized bed, watching Kyungsoo interestedly. 

“Something about a surprise?” 

“Ah.” Kyungsoo wrenches himself away from staring at the six blocks of muscle on Jongin’s tan stomach and wanders over to the small closet, pulling out a huge gift bag from within the deepest corner and offering it to Jongin. His boyfriend’s eyes widen at the size of the bag, and he almost drops it when he realizes how heavy it is. 

“How did you manage to get this to the US?” Jongin asks, scooting up on the bed and sitting with the bag in his lap. Kyungsoo climbs up onto the bed, stripping his shirt off as well, and wrapping his arms around Jongin’s tiny waist. 

_ “Magic,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs, peppering kisses on the sensitive skin behind Jongin’s earlobe, making him shiver.  _ “Open it.”  _ Jongin peeks inside and promptly lets out a shriek that probably could’ve been heard down the entire hall. 

“SHINee!” 

“Yes,” Kyungsoo watches Jongin’s rapt expression with utmost amusement as he instantly morphs into Shawol Jongin, pulling out both the regular and limited editions of the ‘Boys Meet U’ album. 

“Are you serious?!” Jongin turns to Kyungsoo, clutching the album to his chest. Kyungsoo blinks in confusion at the look of annoyance on Jongin’s face. “Why was this not the FIRST thing you did when you arrived?!” 

_ “What, giving you your albums?”  _ Kyungsoo bursts into laughter as Jongin carefully peels off the plastic wrapping and opens the box to eagerly pore over all three photobooks in the compilation album. 

“Oh my god, Kyungsoo, look at the photocard, look at them, look--” 

_ “I see, I see it,”  _ Kyungsoo blinks and pulls back as a photocard is shoved into his face.  _ “You’re so cute when you get excited.”  _

“Their autographs are so cuteeee, oh my gosh they’re SO cuteeee, awww--” Jongin coos as he examines his newest photocard. “Look at Taemin! Look at him, hyung, lookkk.” 

“Looking.” Kyungsoo ruffles Jongin’s hair affectionately while Jongin turns his attention to the photobooks, cooing over each photo and identifying each member to Kyungsoo. He doesn’t have the heart to tell Jongin he already knows them; instead, Kyungsoo places chaste kisses on his sticky, bare shoulder just to remind Jongin who he’s dating. Not that it does any good--all of Jongin’s attention is focused on Taemin at the moment. Kyungsoo chuckles. 

_ “Nini,”  _ he coos, and Jongin absentmindedly offers him his hand to hold, still flipping through his album. Kyungsoo gives up, flopping down sideways on the bed and closing his eyes until Jongin is done examining every fiber of paper in the photobook. When Jongin finally places the albums back in the box gingerly, he sprawls out next to an unsuspecting Kyungsoo and gently slots his lips against the elders’. 

“Thank you so much,” Jongin mumbles into Kyungsoo’s mouth, draping a lax arm over Kyungsoo’s waist. “You know me so well. I love it.” 

_ “You’re easy to figure out, my love.”  _ Kyungsoo smiles. “Open the rest.” 

“The rest?” Jongin’s eyes fly open mid-kiss. 

_ “I didn’t get that large of a bag just to put your album in.”  _

“Huh?” 

“It is a large bag, Nini.” Kyungsoo watches as Jongin pulls himself upright and pokes his nose into the bag again. More squeals, more kisses are pressed all over Kyungsoo’s face as Jongin pulls out assorted k-beauty products, bags of his favorite Korean candies, a few pieces of clothing that Jongin had unassumingly texted Kyungsoo about a while back but never assumed his boyfriend would actually  _ buy  _ them, and of course, more lacy lingerie and a few choice pretty toys that Jongin drops as if they’re scalding hot while Kyungsoo muffles his laughter into the sheets. 

“Kyungsoooooo,” Jongin burrows his way under Kyungsoo’s armpit and into his shoulder, pressing his red face into salty, musky skin. “Whyyyyy?” 

_ “You like it, baby. I know you do.”  _ Kyungsoo strokes Jongin’s hair softly.  _ “You like being pretty and good for hyung.”  _

“Uh-uh,” Jongin vehemently denies it, but he still peeks out of Kyungsoo’s shoulder to watch curiously as his boyfriend snags the crystal blue anal wand and pulls it towards himself, examining the material carefully. 

_ “Do you want to be pretty for me?”  _ Kyungsoo traces his fingers over the plastic heart at the top of the wand. Jongin whimpers a little. 

“Hyung?” 

“Yes?” 

“...Did you purposely choose a pearl aqua one?” 

\--

Sehun’s heart rate has not dropped for the past hour. At this point, he’s surprised that he hasn’t hyperventilated yet. His brain tells him that he’s having the time of his life, but his heart is definitely taking the brunt of what ‘the time of his life’ happens to be--chilling in Jongdae’s bed while the man himself curls up right next to Sehun, occasionally running his fingers up and down the side of Sehun’s waist as they watch a movie together. Or alternatively, Jongdae watches a movie while Sehun thinks extremely hard about Jongin in a hot pink tutu and bow on the top of his head in order to keep his dick soft. Which isn’t really working, so somewhere in the middle of a very angry argument on screen, Sehun’s self-restraint gives out and he decides to be extremely foolish and whipped. He wraps the lax hand that’s been draped over Jongdae’s shoulder around him, pulls Jongdae to lay his head on Sehun’s chest, and drops his cheek against Jongdae’s soft dark brown locks. Breathing in the comforting scent of Jongdae, Sehun tells himself that just for a few days--however long Jongdae needs him--he’ll let himself believe that he’s Jongdae’s boyfriend as well. After all, Jongdae has no qualms about the arrangement; he’s either the most closeted bisexual man Sehun has ever met, or the most confident straight one. Either way, Jongdae takes Sehun’s advances in full stride, nuzzling against him and sighing happily. 

“I’m not usually held like this,” Jongdae whispers to Sehun. “I typically don’t mind being the big spoon, but this is really, really nice.” And something about that makes Sehun’s heart break a little. Because what a shitty life that must be, never getting to be the little spoon. Hell, even Sehun’s been cuddled a few times, whether it be Jongin or some faceless hookup. 

“Come here.” Sehun lets Jongdae burrow into him even more and holds him close. Never mind that it’s summer, cuddles are for every season. “You deserve to be held, hyung.” This much is true. There are a thousand other things that Jongdae deserves as well, but Sehun can’t say those things. It’s a constant bittersweet fight with Jongdae, Sehun sighs. No matter what, he can never completely convince himself that Jongdae is his for the taking, because he’s NOT. 

“Hunnie?” Jongdae murmurs. Sehun jolts when he realizes Jongdae’s lips are brushing the bare skin along the line of his v-neck t-shirt. 

“Hmm?” 

“Do you really not want a boyfriend?” Sehun’s heart rate, if it’s possible at all, increases even more. They’re entering very, very dangerous territory with this question. 

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Sehun does his best to remain nonchalant, but he can’t hide the rise and fall of his chest from Jongdae as he sighs heavily. 

“You’d make a good one. And you’re handsome and loyal--any boy would be lucky to have you.” So his hyung’s attention isn’t on the movie, either. Sehun looks down to meet Jongdae’s honest, open gaze. He hones in on Jongdae’s kitten lips, slightly parted and reddish-pink. He knows how those feel against his own lips. But he wants to really FEEL how they feel against his lips. And maybe around other parts as well--

“I could say the same for you. But girls.” It hurts, physically hurts to say that last part. If Jongdae liked guys, would he like him? Sehun wonders. Is he Jongdae’s type? 

“Hmm. Well, when you get one, just make sure he compares to me.” What the fuck. Did Kim Jongdae really just say that? 

“Nobody compares to you, hyung,” is out of Sehun’s mouth before he can stop himself. Jongdae laughs lightheartedly against Sehun’s chest. 

“I know.” 

“Ugh, you’re such a brat. I take that back.” 

“Don’t you dare!” Jongdae glances up at him with a mischievous grin on his face. “You said it, you can’t take it back. You love me.” 

“I do,” Sehun blurts, and the world comes to a standstill for just the slightest moment before Sehun keeps pushing forward blindly, ignoring his heart that screams at him to stop, to confess, to tell Jongdae what kind of love it is. “Don’t say it--” 

“Aww! You admitted it!!!” 

“Don’t get such a big head, you’re still a brat, hyung.” 

“A brat that you loveee.” I do, I do, I do. I love you. 

“So remind me why I love you again?” Sehun grumbles even as his throat closes up a little from the hurt and regret swirling around in the pit of his stomach. 

“I don’t know. We don’t get to choose who we fall in love with.” Jongdae sounds very vaguely like Jongin, and also extremely like his contemplative, philosophical self. “Sometimes it just happens, yaknow?” I know, Sehun thinks. I know a little too well. 

“I guess so.” Sehun strokes Jongdae’s hair absentmindedly, carding his fingers through the soft locks, meticulously working out all the tiny knots and tangles. Apparently Jongdae really likes that, because after a few passes, he practically melts into a tiny puddle against Sehun; what little tension that remains in his neck and shoulders completely drained from him. Either that, or Sehun’s just abnormally good at combing hair. 

“Please keep doing that,” Jongdae mumbles with drooping eyelids. Sehun turns to glance at the clock, realizing with a shock that it’s almost one. 

“You gonna fall asleep, hyung?” 

“Mmmh. Maybe.” Sehun reaches for the remote and shuts the TV off, then tugs the propped-up pillows down. 

“I won’t stop, but let’s get ready to sleep, yeah?” 

“Mmkay.” Jongdae obediently slides down under the covers that Sehun holds up for him, and snuggles close while Sehun continues to stroke Jongdae’s hair. Sehun’s not really sure when Jongdae dozes off, but even when he does, for a long, long time afterwards, Sehun doesn’t stop petting. The dull, stabbing pain inside of him never really leaves as he repeats the scene over and over again in his head. I do, I do, I do. 

\--

“Hey, Dae.” Sehun pokes his head into Jongdae’s bedroom around mid-afternoon the next day. Jongdae’s sitting at his desk, tapping up some indecipherable code on his desktop, but he glances up and smiles when he sees Sehun. “I’m gonna go, er, hang out with some friends for a few hours.” 

“That’s fine. Do you want to stay the night again?” Jongdae inquires, standing up and stretching upwards. Sehun tries, but ultimately fails to avert his eyes from the sliver of skin that becomes exposed as Jongdae raises his arms. Pretty hyung. Soft, smooth skin. A thick, consistent happy trail that no doubt leads to goodies underneath those gray shorts. Sehun is slowly being driven insane. He’s had blue balls for almost 36 hours now, enough is enough. 

“Do you want me to?” 

“I like when you sleepover,” Jongdae winds himself around Sehun, who shudders at even the barest skin to skin contact, and wraps his arms around Sehun’s waist. “But if you’re busy, you don’t have to.” 

“I’m not busy, hyung. I have nothing to do these days, I’m just gonna go chill.” 

“Okay. Can’t keep you all to myself, I suppose.” Yes! You can! Sehun mentally screams. Please! Keep me to yourself! Lock me up in your apartment and never let me out! Beg me to fuck you! Kiss me so hard my lips turn purple! Let me pile drive you into the mattress--

“You’re right. This much of you makes my head hurt.”

“SEHUN!” 

“Kidding. Bye, babe.” 

“Aww. Bye, sweetheart! Be back in time for dinner!” Jongdae giggles as Sehun turns away to leave, but then a second later comes scampering up behind Sehun. 

“What is it?” Sehun turns around. 

“You have to give me a good-bye kiss.” A good-bye kiss? Sehun thinks incredulously. Good-bye to WHAT? The world? Sehun is halfway to heaven at this point. Or hell, he can’t really tell anymore. 

“Doesn’t that count as cheating?” Sehun inquires, looking very bored but feeling like he’s about to explode. 

“No,” Jongdae says indignantly, “I kissed you at Christmas and New Year’s, and she was fine with it then, too.” 

“Still--” 

“Just do it, I miss being kissed.” Of course he does. Of course Jongdae’s overly affectionate and super touchy and likes constant attention. Sehun drops a quick kiss onto Jongdae’s forehead. 

“Good?” He offers an eye-smile to Jongdae to show that he doesn’t really mind, no matter how much he grouches about it. This delights Jongdae to no end.

“Fine,” Jongdae concedes, then tugs Sehun down by the collar of his shirt and drops a cute little one onto his cheek. Fuck, Sehun’s NEVER blushed because of a cheek kiss before, but he’s pretty sure his ears are turning red. The sound of Jongdae’s cheerful laughter follows him as he walks out into the blinding run. 

\--

“Hey DUDE.” Sehun raises a single hand in greeting when Eric opens his door. In response, Eric jerks his head and steps out of the way, letting Sehun into his apartment. 

“M’roommate is out right now,” Eric comments, standing behind Sehun. “At least, I assume that’s why you’re here.” At this, Sehun turns to face him and closes the distance between them. Up close and personal, Sehun notices small details that he didn’t get to notice the last time they hooked up. Like the fact that Eric’s ink black hair has navy blue highlights. Or that his almond-shaped eyes have flecks of lighter, champagne-brown-gold in them. Now that Sehun studies him closely, he realizes just how  _ soft _ Eric looks when taken out of sexual context. 

“Are you here to examine my pores or fuck?” Eric inquires, but he doesn’t back down an inch as Sehun gently traces the tip of his index finger down Eric’s straight, flawless nose. 

“You have a cute nose.” 

“You know what they say about guys with a big nose.” Eric pinches Sehun’s, then snorts. “What are we doing? Get under me or get out of my house.” 

“Who said I was gonna be the one under you?” Sehun breathes, closing the distance between their lips. Their tongues meet somewhere in the middle, furiously trying to push the other’s back so that they can establish domly dominance. Sehun smirks, once again reminded of how fun it is to be able to wrestle for control with someone who can keep up with him during sex. It’s probably why Sehun keeps hooking up with the dancer in the first place; so that they can toss good-natured jabs at each other, winding each other up just to see who submits first. Unfortunately for Eric, Sehun has the upper hand here, backing him up against his own front door and using it as leverage to lick longingly into Eric’s mouth. Sehun’s hands roam hungrily, touching and kneading and petting Eric, taking all that he can and then some. 

“Uh uh uh,” Eric tightly grips Sehun’s wrists when they start to creep underneath his t-shirt. “I’m gonna take my sweet time with you today, DUDE.” 

“You go by my pace, HOTTIE.”

“My house, my rules.” Eric wriggles away from Sehun’s chest pressed against him and drags Sehun by the wrists into his bedroom, which was clearly designed to entertain guests. Sehun glances around at the assorted gray and navy bean bags in a corner filled with video games and DVDs as well as a small TV, and the matching sheets on his neatly made bed. 

“Did, uh, did a home magazine puke all over your room?” Sehun inquires, slightly impressed at all the color-matching, but also thrown off. 

“Fuck off. My mom went through this major feng shui phase just as I was moving out.” And with that, Eric shoves Sehun onto the bed, pins his wrists above his head, and captures his lips in another dirty kiss. Sehun can’t help the small gasps that escape him while Eric sucks on his lower lip, then his tongue; he’s spent the majority of the past few hours being teased by his devilishly cute hyung. 

“Dude, stop  _ squirming.  _ Holy fuck, you’re so hard already,” Eric’s genteel looks and soft gaze have been replaced by something far more sexy and dominant. There’s a palpable shift in personality now, revealing a venereal, erotic smirk that should not arouse Sehun as much as it does this early into the game. He struggles to move his arms, to touch and get some leverage against the smaller man, but Sehun’s advances are sloppy and he shakes with need as Eric keeps him pinned down and continues ravaging his mouth and neck. 

“Pent up? Couldn’t stop thinking about me?” Eric inquires as he draws out more gasps and hard exhales from Sehun. Fuck, he’d totally underestimated Eric’s strength. “Christ, stay still, will you?” 

“No,” Sehun pants, still struggling against Eric’s grip on his wrists. “Fuck you,” he spits. He’s never usually this pressed about sex, but Eric’s not doing enough to relieve the throbbing in his groin, and he’s feeling so, so needy right now. 

“Nah. I’ll fuck  _ you.” _ Eric’s low chuckle in his ear makes Sehun’s eyes roll up into the back of his head, especially when he bites Sehun’s earlobe and then nibbles along the sensitive cartilage. “Let’s get this off you, so I can restrain you properly.” Wha--Sehun’s brain is sluggish to respond as Eric slips a hand under Sehun’s shirt, caressing skin with feather-light touches that Sehun keens up into while working the cotton upwards. With a smooth, practiced move, Eric strips Sehun of his shirt, momentarily releasing his wrists to take it off. Sehun takes advantage of his freedom, surging upwards to grab Eric and pin him down. Eric chuckles darkly as Sehun’s large hands run up his shirt, gripping and squeezing handfuls of hot, soft flesh while he suckles a dark hickey into the side of Eric’s neck. 

“Desperate boy,” Eric whispers, letting Sehun practically rip his shirt off of him. “It’s so cute.” He lets Sehun take his fill, but never fully submits--Sehun can feel it, the thrumming confidence in which he sits in Sehun’s lap, pushing Sehun back whenever he gets too handsy, occasionally drawing curves and lines all over Sehun’s bare chest. The cockiness makes Sehun irrationally nearsighted. Just how much does he have up his sleeve? When Sehun makes to flip over and pin the boy underneath him, that’s when Eric makes his move--he shifts all his weight to the opposite side that Sehun is pressing him towards and slams Sehun back onto the mattress with one strong hand while grabbing one of Sehun’s wrists with the other. 

“I was just gonna tell you to keep your hands to yourself while I fucked you,” Eric encircles his other wrist and gathers it back up over his head, “but you’re so wiggly today, it’s adorable.” 

“Shut--the fuck--up,” Sehun arches his back up and growls while Eric manhandles him towards the pile of fluffed-up pillows at the head of the bed and fumbles for something along the black metal bedposts. God, why is he so annoyed? Why can’t he control his emotions today? Sehun’s usually the smooth and unaffected one, the person who chuckles while someone squirms desperately in his lap, the one who coos words of praise and dirty talk over moans of pleasure. And yet here he is, staring up at Eric who sits on his legs and eyes him with the careful, measured suaveness that Sehun is so used to exuding. 

“Have you ever been restrained before?” There’s a touch of normalcy to Eric’s voice as he holds Sehun still, and Sehun senses Eric’s checking in with him to see if he’s okay with this or not. 

“I’ve restrained other people before, but never been restrained.” 

“That’s fine.” Eric surveys him. “Color system if you need a breather. You good?” Sehun only glares at him and Eric bursts into laughter. “Dude, calm down.” One hand reaches out to gently flick Sehun’s nipples into hard peaks, forcing gasps out of Sehun’s gritted teeth. “You were radiating horny when you walked in, I’m just gonna get it all out of your system.” Sehun gasps as soft leather encircles his wrists and Eric ties him to the post of his bed with a set of leather restraints and an almost bored look on his face. 

“Leather restraints are more comfortable than handcuffs,” Eric informs Sehun shortly. “So you won’t hurt your wrists when you beg for my cock,” Eric tells Sehun, who’s already attempting to tug his hands free, but to no avail. Eric leans in close, letting his bare chest hover inches over Sehun’s but not letting him revel in the feeling of anything but the heat radiating off of Eric’s body. “I’ll make you cum so hard you forget your own name.” 

“Get on with it, then,” Sehun snarls. 

“No manners whatsoever.” Eric flicks a nipple, causing Sehun to gasp. “What do you say when you want something?” When Sehun remains resolutely silent, he pinches the other nipple, hard. 

“Ah!” 

“Try again.” 

“Fuck you.” 

“It’s your choice,” Eric’s eyes are hooded and dangerous while he slowly takes in Sehun laying on his bed, hair fanned out onto a pillow, triceps working as he struggles uselessly against his restraints. “If you don’t say it, you don’t get to cum.” One of Sehun’s legs reaches out to push Eric, but Eric catches it easily and kisses the outside of Sehun’s ankle. “Don’t make me get out ALL the bondage. Although you’d look so cute with your hands behind your back, attached to your ankle cuffs.” He leans over Sehun’s chest to lick around one of the little pink nubs, circling it with the tip of his tongue until Sehun’s about to go insane. 

“Please.” The word spills off of Sehun’s lips as he arches uselessly into Eric’s hot touch. 

“Please, what?” 

“Dude!” 

“Please, dude? I’ll take it, I suppose.” Eric latches onto his nipple and laps grainy soft, warm strokes over it, sending pleasure straight to the bomb building in Sehun’s groin and causing him to let out a wanton groan. “See what happens when you’re good?” Eric croons, switching over to the other nipple. “Color?” 

“Green,” Sehun gasps, going slightly more pliant and pulling less on the restraints. 

“You have such a gorgeous body,” Eric tells him, now tracing the planes of his broad, sculpted chest with his tongue and leaving cold trails of saliva in his wake, which cause Sehun to shiver and shake with need. He still hasn’t touched anything too sensitive yet, and the anticipation is making Sehun a little hysterical. The thought of Eric’s mouth around his cock, sucking tight and good, offering him the hot, tight wetness that he’s been craving--Sehun’s hips push desperately towards Eric’s head as he kisses the soft spot just on top of Sehun’s hipbone. 

“Please.” It comes easier the second time, and he’s rewarded with a hand gently squeezing his dick above his basketball shorts. Sehun stutters and bucks his hips up against the fingers that press softly into the huge bulge. 

“Aw, you’re so hard. It’s so cute.” Eric’s mouth never stops its movement up and down Sehun’s torso, occasionally leaving a soft peck or two on Sehun’s lips or licking up the side of Sehun’s neck, even as he continues to pet Sehun’s package, kneading and groping to his heart's content. Sehun’s eyes have slid shut of his own accord as he pants and writhes, wanting more friction, more action, more pleasure. It’s just not enough to satisfy him, even as Eric kisses him filthily and grips his cock tighter, rubbing his fingers over the sensitive tip which is leaking precum all over his underwear. 

“Are you wet?” Eric croons, slipping a hand under the mesh fabric to find out for himself. “Oh, shit, you’re like a bitch in heat right now, aren’t you?” Sehun can only let out an anguished groan. “Babe, who left you out to dry? Jesus, look at you.” Sehun tugs on the handcuffs frantically, searching for anything, anything to soothe the throbbing pain in his core. “They really don’t know what they’re missing,” Eric murmurs. His praise surprisingly calms Sehun down a little, despite the minimal action happening on his dick while Eric works his pants and underwear off to display everything. “You’re so hot, Sehun. Please let me do this some other time as well.” 

“Bold of you to assume you can win against me again.” Sehun rolls his eyes. 

“I’ve done it today, I think I can handle you just fine, big boy.” Eric kisses him, then returns to eye-fucking Sehun’s angry, red cock, laying flush against his stomach and twitching once in a while to ooze precum. “Dude. You’re getting wet just from me staring at your cock. Look at this.” Eric touches the tip of his finger to Sehun’s cock, too light to offer any stimulation, then raises it up. A gossamer thread of pre-cum connects his finger to the slit of Sehun’s dick, then breaks. Sehun swallows hard, craning his head to watch Eric. “Oh, hold up. My bad.” Eric props the pillow up, then moves Sehun so he can lean against it comfortably before returning to his incessant teasing. “What do you want?” 

“Isn’t it your call?” Sehun jeers, although his dick seems to have a mind of its own, jerking upwards towards the tantalizing warmth of Eric’s hands, which hover slightly above it, occasionally brushing along the shaft with a couple of fingers. 

“If you ask nicely, I’ll blow you before I fuck your brains out.” Fuck yes. Except Sehun’s dignity lodges the dirty words in his throat before he can get them out. He loves when other people beg him for his fingers, his mouth, his cock. He never realized how daunting it is when he’s the one asking for it. 

“Need some motivation?” Eric’s hand wraps around Sehun’s cock, spreading the pre-cum around before giving him a few passes up and down. Sehun groans in ecstasy, mouth parting and head tipping back into the pillows from a simple handjob. “I could give you more, if only I knew what you wanted…” 

“Please,” Sehun whispers, turning his face to half-hide it into the pillows and shutting his eyes to avoid Eric’s bright, hungry gaze. “Put your mouth on my cock.” There. His gut twists in shame, but Eric is right there, turning his face upwards and placing deep, hungry kisses on his lips. 

“Good boy. I know it was hard for you, but you did it,” Eric whispers, genuine praise and approval in his voice. If Sehun had thought Hui was an unconventional hookup, this is the strangest one he’s had yet. But then again, Sehun hooks up for exactly that. Quirks via intimacy. Getting to know people by bedroom preferences, and not over a cup of coffee. Being with Eric is both a physical and mental roller coaster of the best kind. “Color?” 

“Green.” Sehun’s disoriented by how needy he feels, how much he wants to hear Eric’s whispered words that lave praise on him for being so brave. Eric seems to know exactly what he wants to hear and feel, pressing up close against Sehun’s bare chest and stroking his cock slowly with one hand. 

“It’s not everyday I find someone willing to switch,” Eric murmurs. “You’re gorgeous either way. What a good boy. You deserve a reward, don’t you?” 

“Yes,” Sehun moans into Eric’s mouth. “Please,” he adds when Eric’s hand stills for just a fraction of a second. 

“A fast learner, too.” Eric kisses his way down Sehun’s chest and takes Sehun’s cock into his mouth, causing Sehun to almost sob in pleasure because finally,  _ finally,  _ he gets Eric where he needed him the most. Eric’s tongue works wonders, never stopping its licking and circling while he bobs his head up and down, providing firm, perfect suction the entire time. He even manages to almost deepthroat Sehun, causing Sehun to yell and pull furiously against the handcuffs. 

“Screaming for me already? But you haven’t even felt my cock yet,” Eric’s fingers trace the skin just below his balls, then wriggle in between his cheeks to touch the puckered hole. Sehun jerks and writhes. “You want it?” 

“Yes, yes, yes please.” Sehun’s cock feels like hot, velvet steel as Eric’s mouth slowly engulfs it again. “Oh, Godddd,” Sehun groans, eyes rolling into the back of his head. “Oh, ffffuck.” He tries to buck up into Eric’s mouth, but a hand immediately pins his hips down.

“Stay.” The authoritative tone in Eric’s voice radiates no-nonsense. “Or I stop.” 

“Fuck, okay. Okay,” Sehun forces himself to stay still. “Fuck,” he moans again when Eric returns to sucking him down. 

“You gonna last for me?” Eric slides off of his cock when Sehun begins to shake from the effort of following directions. “Or do I need to get you a cock ring?” 

“No, no, no.” Sehun’s been reduced to monosyllabic words and a pile of desperate, nonsensical pleading. Eric makes it okay to slip into a submissive mindset, constantly reassuring him that it’s okay, that he wants to see Sehun submit, that it’s apparently hot as fuck. “I--I can last.” 

“Good boy,” Eric kisses up his v-line. “Look at you, so eager to be good for me. Are you that desperate?” 

“Ugh!” Sehun pants as Eric takes him into his mouth again and makes circles over and around his frenulum. “Please,” he manages. Eric glances up at him with inquisitive eyes, instantly giving Sehun his full, undivided attention. “Fuck me.” Eric slides off of Sehun’s cock with a wet pop. 

“Whatever you want.” Eric reaches for lube tucked into a nightstand drawer. “Color?” 

“Green,” Sehun says obediently. His compliance garners him a long, approving kiss and one slick finger circling his hole before breaching the tight ring of muscle. Sehun moans into Eric’s mouth and wriggles a little. 

“Fuck, so tight,” Eric hisses. “God, I can’t wait to feel you. You’re so hot it’s taking all of my self-control to not fuck you into oblivion right now.” 

“Please do,” Sehun chokes, yanking his wrists apart desperately just to hear the clinking of metal links against each other to ground him as Eric adds another finger. 

“Need to get you stretched and ready for my cock. Have you ever bottomed before?” Sehun nods against Eric’s lips. “Doesn’t feel like it.” 

“I don’t do it often.” 

“I’ll make it worth your time.” Three fingers now, and the sounds coming out of Sehun’s mouth are uncontrollable as Eric brushes against his prostate. “Right there?” 

“Y-es,” Sehun’s breath hitches when Eric presses insistently against the rough little bump inside him and doesn’t stray away. 

“Can’t do this,” Eric murmurs, withdrawing his fingers to unbutton his own pants and free his cock, which is rock-hard from just teasing and stimulating Sehun. “Can’t hear your pretty moans and feel you clenching around my fingers without wanting to get inside you.” He swiftly rolls a condom on and positions himself at Sehun’s entrance, who pants in anticipation when Eric pauses to teasingly slide just the tip of his cock inside, spreading him half-open.

“Just put it in already,” Sehun groans, feeling as if he can’t possibly take any more. “Please.” 

“Since you asked so nicely…” Sehun gasps when Eric slides in, panting and pulling against his restraints while Eric bottoms out in one go. “Fuck, you’re so tight, dude.” Sehun laughs shakily at the reappearance of ‘dude’, but it quickly turns into a choked off whine when Eric grinds filthily into him. “Can I move?” 

“Yeah,” Sehun gasps. The stretch stings, but he’s too far gone to think about it now. Instead, his breath comes in shallow gasps and grunts as Eric thrusts in and out of him steadily; a deep, strong grind that makes Sehun’s toes curl in pleasure. 

“Dancer hips,” Sehun mutters, and Eric bursts into breathy laughter. 

“Yeah, we’re pretty good with our stuff.” And with that, he picks up the pace, wrapping a hand tightly around the base of Sehun’s cock as he does so. “You look like a hot mess right now. In the best way possible.” 

“Hghhh…” Sehun’s back arches up as he tugs uselessly against his shackles. There’s something so incredibly erotic about being fucked helplessly, back arched up off the bed, without any leverage at all. He’s at the complete mercy of Eric, who gradually increases the speed and power of his thrusts while he inches closer and closer to Sehun’s prostate. When he hits it, Sehun yells again, scrabbling for purchase that isn’t there while Eric smirks down at him. 

“You ever gonna top again after this?” 

“Fuck you,” Sehun answers in between gasps.

“I was gonna let you cum, but since you went back to being a smartass…” Ah, fuck. Sehun grits his teeth and shuts his eyes as the pleasure in his gut thrums to the point where it’s almost unbearable. And yet, Eric’s tight grip around his cock doesn’t let him spill over. 

“I’m sorry,” Sehun pants, trying and failing to get himself to that peak he so desperately needs. “Please, please…” 

“There we go,” Eric hums in satisfaction, bending over Sehun to kiss him deeply. The change in angle has him thrusting against Sehun’s prostate with each heavy stroke, reducing Sehun to a complete mess, mumbling incoherently into Eric’s mouth. “Cum for me,” Eric’s hand loosens and pulls upwards half a dozen times before Sehun’s vision whites out. Only the ache in his arms and clatter of metal against metal keeps him somewhat grounded as he cums harder than he ever has in his life, waves of pleasure washing over his entire being until he can’t even remember his own name. Eric keeps up a slow, easy grind throughout his orgasm, although at some point, it’s physically impossible to slide in and out because Sehun’s clenching so hard around him. 

“Hi.” Eric’s face comes into view when Sehun slowly comes down from the throes of pleasure, his breath coming in ragged gasps. Eric fumbles with the buckles for a second, then the pressure around Sehun’s wrists is released. He winces as Eric gently brings his arms back down and all the blood comes rushing back into them. “You good, dude?” Eric’s movements are quick and gentle while he cleans both of them up, disposing of the condom and wiping an exhausted Sehun down, before neatly sitting on the bed in a cross-legged position next to Sehun. 

“How long was I… out… for?” 

“Dunno. I got a little worried when the crying started, but seemed like it was one hell of a ride.” 

“I cried?” Sehun brings a heavy hand up to his cheeks, shocked to find that his fingertips come back wet. “Well, shit.” 

“You okay?” Sehun turns to look at Eric, who’s reverted back to his unassuming, albeit obnoxious self. 

“I--yeah.” He’s feeling very satiated and drowsy now, even though he’s also slightly needy after all the rough handling. Mentally, he debates the emotional toll that he’d have to confront if he left Eric’s house and went to go find Jongdae for some cuddles, and decides that he probably couldn’t handle it. Post-sex snuggles would be amazing with Jongdae, but if he acted on his needs at the moment, Sehun’s pretty sure he’d probably imprint immediately, like a baby duckling on its mother, and then things would go even more downhill than they are right now. Or is it uphill? He’s forever confused. But then again, Eric doesn’t seem like the cuddling type… Luckily, one look at Sehun’s unsure face and Eric seems to know what’s coming, because he gently cradles a limp Sehun into his arms and traces random patterns across his back and biceps soothingly without passing any judgment. 

“Aftercare,” Eric murmurs to Sehun, uncharacteristically gentle. “It’s natural to feel needy, don’t worry. I went pretty rough on you, too, but you said you could handle it.” 

“I know what aftercare is, dumbass. I’m not an asshole dom.” 

“Oh, but you  _ are _ an asshole switch, apparently.” And now he’s back to being obnoxious. Sehun slaps Eric’s bare butt and gets his own smack in return. Suddenly, the front door opens, startling both of them. Eric has just enough time to pull the covers over half of their naked bodies and pull Sehun into his arms again before his roommate pokes his head into Eric’s room. Sehun feigns sleep next to Eric; if his roommate can’t handle two naked guys in the midst of a post-coital nap, that’s on him. Luckily, a regretful sigh comes from the guy and he walks back out almost immediately after peeking in. 

“How many people do you sleep with to get that reaction out of him?” Sehun whispers. 

“Shut up. Doesn’t Kai ever get tired of your smartassery?”

“Nah. I cook for him, so if he wants dinner, he puts up with me.” Sehun burrows closer to Eric even though it’s hot as balls outside. Cuddling without strings attached might even be nicer than fucking without emotions. “Is your roommate hot?” Sehun asks after a minute. “Nicer than you, hopefully? Likes bottoming? Doesn’t call people ‘dude’ during sex?” 

“DUDE. As soon as you’re done being subby, feel free to leave.” 

“Nah. I think I’ll stick around. Maybe say hi to the roomie--” 

“He’s a nerd who’s dating some chick at Stanford, leave him alone.” 

“I like nerds,” Sehun murmurs, thinking about the one that drives him up a goddamn wall. It’s getting late, he should probably get back before Jongdae becomes a worrywart.

“Thank fuck I’m not a nerd then.” Sehun’s eyes crinkle in amusement at this and Eric stifles his own laughter by biting down on Sehun’s shoulder. 

“OW!” 

“Deserved.” 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I interrupt my regularly scheduled a/n full of love and virtual hugs to bring you all a song recommendation. Please consider listening to it at least once.  
> [Cleanse yourself](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWT2jSLMGsU)  
> The 'p' in "Make it Count" stands for 'pure'  
> Anyways, hope you liked the chapter! Because I LOVED writing it. ;)  
> Chu~ <3 XOXO
> 
> \--
> 
> Hello everyone, Aranee here o/.
> 
> justafei and I decided I would move my commentary up into the author's note instead of commenting on the chapters ~~because honestly who ever reads the comment sections expect for us anyway~~. So you'll find me here from now on, just below justafei. And no, she has no idea what I'm adding here =D.
> 
> When justafei says she loved writing that Seric scene (yes, we made up a ship name), she isn't even getting close to the truth of the very not pure joy she felt writing this XD. We hope you liked it~ And honestly, Sehun really desperately needed some relief from being the honorary boyfriend.
> 
> Thank you for reading and see you soon~


	18. I know you want s'more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting with this chapter we will be using a work skin. If you have work skins disabled in your settings, please consider enabling them before reading this work for your viewing experience. We will test if things display well in various browsers and mobile platforms, but not how things will look without work skin. Thank you!

A cloud of steam billows out from the top of the door as Chanyeol steps out of the shower, but is quickly dispersed by the bathroom fan. The man himself has just wrapped a towel around his waist and wandered into the bedroom to find his stash of clothes in Baekhyun’s closet when his phone vibrates on the bedside table. He lets it ring four more times while he rifles through the messy closet in search of his second favorite t-shirt before giving up and answering the phone instead. 

“Chanyeollllll,” Jongdae’s cheerful voice comes in through the speaker. 

“Jongdaeeeee.” 

“Yeollll!” 

“Daeee!” Chanyeol laughs first. “Hey.” 

“Yeollie, Yeollie, whatcha doing?” 

“Right now? Ransacking Baek’s closet, why?” Chanyeol resumes pawing through the closet with just one hand, even though he knows it’s probably futile. The shirt happens to be one of Baekhyun’s favorites as well. 

“I have a very important proposition for you.” Jongdae’s tone is still light, but injected with a note of importance. 

“M’all ears.” 

“You better be. Anyways, we--as in, the company I work for--have a few open positions over here in Los Angeles, where the sun is always shining, the grass is green, the birds--” 

“In short you’re hiring.” Chanyeol gives up his t-shirt search and sits down on the edge of the bed. 

“Yeah, we are. And you know, I immediately thought of a particular friend of mine. He’s really tall, super smart, awesome team player, you know, the kind of guy everyone would want in their project group, helpful, one of my best friends--” The corner of Chanyeol’s mouth twitches a little. 

“Well, you’ve ruled out Baek with that description.” 

“I’m telling him you threw him under the bus like that.” Jongdae threatens. “Anyways, guess who?” 

“Me?” Chanyeol asks, used to his friend’s antics. 

“See! So smart.” Jongdae snaps his fingers. “How about it? Fresh out of college, young, handsome, a master’s degree almost under your belt…” 

“You don’t need to flatter me, Jongdae-ah.” Chanyeol’s eyes crinkle up in amusement now. “I know you’re just in it for the referral bonus.” 

“NO!” Jongdae denies it immediately, but Chanyeol presses on, teasing him. 

“How much do they offer? 5k? 7k? A whole 10k? And when I scoop up the offer, are you gonna bitch about working with me like you did in high school?” 

“Chanyeollie,” Jongdae fakes a sniff for dramatic effect, “I-I would never do that… you know I respect your work so much and value you as a f-friend and colleague…” 

“Save the pity card, dear.” Chanyeol chuckles and runs a hand through his damp hair. “But I don’t know,” he adds on a more serious note. “I kinda saw Baek and myself staying in Boston or at least on the east coast when we finish our theses.” 

“But Chanyeolllll, do you know what an amazing opportunity I just offered you? I really did think of you the minute they announced they were hiring,” Jongdae tells him. “You’d get an interview right away. I’ll write you an amazing referral letter.” 

“I know, Dae. I really appreciate it.” Chanyeol sighs and gets up to find a smaller towel to at least dry his hair. “But I’ve gotten some other pretty good offers here, too. Got a lot of options, I think I’ll have to sit on this one and think it through a bit more. And Baek--I don’t wanna leave him again,” Chanyeol adds. “He’s happy. Excited, because we finally get to move in together and everything soon.” 

“Bruh, take him with you,” Jongdae is incredulous. “You can’t leave him in Boston, that’s ridiculous. And there are plenty of job offers here for his performing arts degree. More than the east coast, if I do say so myself.” 

“WOW, Cali boy. Don’t forget your roots.” 

“It’s great over here!” Jongdae insists. “Kai and Sehun and Ksoo all agree with me.” 

“Yeah, well.” Chanyeol shrugs, even though Jongdae can’t see him. “I appreciate the offer,” he reiterates. “I’ll let you know, I suppose.” 

“Ask Baek what he thinks of it,” Jongdae doesn’t give up. “If he wants to come over here or not. I’m  _ lonely,  _ Chanyeol. It’s been so fun here since Kai and Sehun showed up. Well, just consider it, okay? For meee?” 

“Okay, okay. I will,” Chanyeol murmurs, when the front door opens and Baekhyun’s loud exhale comes along with the crinkling of plastic grocery bags. “Oh, I’ve got a visitor, it seems.” 

“Baek?” Jongdae guesses. 

“Shh. He doesn’t know I’m here yet.” Chanyeol sits back down on the bed and runs through his hair with a towel. “I told him I’m too busy this weekend.” 

“He still falls for it?” Jongdae snorts. 

“It’s valid. We’re both busy these days.” From the kitchen comes the slamming of a cupboard and the sound of a refrigerator opening and closing again. “This might take a while,” Chanyeol concedes. “What’s up with you?” 

“Me? Other than work, not much. Seojun and I are still on break.” 

“Ah, okay. Do you still sit at home and vegetate and call it self-care? 

“I remember my roots, Chanyeollie. Those are dug deep, trust me.” 

“I trust you on that.” Chanyeol makes the mistake of laughing, then claps a hand over his mouth. “Shit, my cover’s blown.” 

“WHAT,” Baekhyun comes flying into the bedroom to find his gigantic half-naked fiance sitting on the edge of the bed, chattering away to Jongdae with and drying his hair as if he owns the place, “ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?” Chanyeol looks up from his conversation and holds out his unoccupied arm. 

“Come to oppa.” 

“GROSS!” Jongdae shrieks while Baekhyun dives into Chanyeol’s shower-warmed chest like an eager puppy. “That’s disgusting, he actually calls you--o--op--God, I can’t even say it. At least not to you.”

“Are you dumb?” Baekhyun calls into the phone. “I’m older than him.” He plants a sloppy, wet kiss on Chanyeol’s cheek. 

“Oh, but you act like you’re four years younger.” Jongdae’s probably rolling his eyes. “Nothing should surprise me anymore, coming from you two.” 

“I missed you,” Baekhyun croons to Chanyeol, completely ignoring Jongdae on the phone. 

“Missed you, too.” Chanyeol strokes through Baekhyun’s hair before returning his attention to Jongdae. “Wait, Dae, so how is everyone else? Kai? Sehun?” 

“Doing fine. Actually, I have no idea about Kai--I can’t separate him from Kyungsoo at the moment, but we have some plans later, so I guess I’ll see him then.” 

“Sounds fun,” Chanyeol flops back on the bed, causing Baekhyun to topple on top of him. “He’s resuming filming next week, right?” 

“Mhm,” Jongdae’s voice is muted, as if he’s further away from the speaker now. “Yah, get a load of this kid. Every single time he complains about how he’s not going to pass, and tells me that this is probably their last week in LA. Then come every elimination round, he passes with flying colors.” 

“That’s Kai for you,” Baekhyun pipes up. “You know how I took him to the audition? Bro, every five minutes this guy was like, ‘Ah, Baek, I appreciate you taking me here even though it’s a waste of your entire day’.” Baekhyun snorts. “I was gonna kick him by the end. The ‘c’ in Kai stands for ‘confident’, by the way.” 

“He’s confident when it counts,” Chanyeol wraps a steady arm around Baekhyun’s waist and trails his fingers inside of the shirt. “Baby, this is my shirt.” 

“No, it’s not.” 

“It is, I was just looking for it.” Chanyeol sighs. “Anyways, Dae, I’ll let you know about… stuff. Keep us more updated, yeah? You only ever call when you want something…” 

“I like my quiet time,” Jongdae argues.

“You like your quiet time and then complain about having no friends. See, Jongdae, there’s this beautiful thing called ‘the great outdoors’, it’s really an amazing place to find friends.” Chanyeol smiles while Jongdae huffs indignantly. “I’ll talk to you later, I’ve got a very wriggly oppar that’s making it difficult to--” 

“Don’t worry, I’ve heard enough. Let me know whatever you decide. Bye, Yeollie.” 

“Cya.” Chanyeol hangs up and promptly wraps both arms around Baekhyun. “God, I swear I go crazy without you.” 

“Hehe.” Baekhyun preens happily, then fumbles at the towel still wrapped around Chanyeol’s waist while the younger goes in for a kiss. “I missed you, too.” 

“I wanna get bubble tea after this,” Jongdae announces, tossing a bag of marshmallows into Sehun’s grocery basket. 

“That’s a lot of sugar in your system, hyung. Not sure if I like the sound of that.” 

“But I’m always bouncy,” Jongdae argues while Sehun scrutinizes the buy one get one free deal on marshmallows and adds another bag. 

“That’s true.” 

“I’ll buy for you,” Jongdae offers. 

“Oop, you got me there.” Sehun immediately agrees while Jongdae sighs. 

“I see it’s still easy as ever to convince you…” 

“Hyung, ask anyone if they’d be down for free food and see if they’ll refuse you.” Sehun huffs and wanders to produce. 

“Why are we in the healthy part of the store?” 

“Because I need some stuff. Do you literally never step foot into the produce aisle?” Sehun glances at Jongdae. 

“I didn’t mean I have a vendetta against fruits and vegetables, but there’s nothing here that we need for tonight.” 

“Oh.” Sehun glances at the watermelon. “Hey, do you pat watermelon when you go shopping?” 

“Huh? No, but uh, Seojun does.” Damn, guess he should’ve never brought that up. “I don’t understand why.” Sehun’s mouth quirks upwards as he knocks on one. 

“If it’s ripe, it sounds hollow. My mom was really great at picking out ripe ones.” 

“Uh… I feel like I need to fact check that. But anyways, are you planning on putting a whole ass watermelon in your basket?” Jongdae asks incredulously. 

“Nah. I’ll make you carry it.” 

“I refuse. I’LL hold the basket and YOU carry your stupid hollow-sounding watermelon.” 

“Or I’ll just get it another time,” Sehun walks away. “Since you still wanna get bubble tea afterwards.” 

“Hey,” Jongdae remarks after a period of comfortable silence, “have you talked to Kai recently?” 

“Mmmm, yeah, yesterday. To ask him about this.” Sehun draws a circle around the groceries in his basket. “Why?” 

“He never talks to me anymore,” Jongdae grouses. “I was just wondering if it was because Kyungsoo was in town or if it’s exclusively me.” 

“Aw, hyung. He doesn’t mean any harm.” Sehun’s heart squeezes a little at the pout on Jongdae’s face. “If it makes you feel better, he never answers unless I text him first.” 

“Hm. Yeah, figures.” 

“But maybe you should try that,” Sehun suggests. They’re really just wandering up and down aisles now, instead of looking for something in particular. “Text him first, I mean.” 

“Funny, you sound just like Chanyeol.” 

“Well, hyung,” Sehun deadpans, “when multiple people suggest something, it’s usually a sign of collective agreement. Such as the fact that you are an actual rock.” 

“That’s so mean,” Jongdae sighs. “Just because I like being alone--” 

“Sehun, spend some time with me,” Sehun mimics. “I don’t wanna be alone, Sehunnie.” 

“Brat.” Jongdae waits until Sehun scans all the items in self-checkout and places them neatly into bags before speaking again. “I text you all the time because I like having you around.” 

“S’fine,” Sehun murmurs, collecting the three grocery bags and giving the lightest one to Jongdae when he tugs insistently at Sehun’s wrist for one of them. “You’ll always have me.” 

“Sehunnie…” Jongdae is touched. Sehun doesn’t answer, but he slings an arm around Jongdae’s shoulders while they walk out of the store together. 

“Which way to bubble tea, hyung?” 

_ “Baby,”  _ Kyungsoo reprimands Jongin gently when the overeager, sweaty dancer comes back from practice and promptly collapses on top of Kyungsoo, effectively waking him up from his nap that he claims is from jet lag but is more out of catching up on sleep deprivation.  _ “Do I ever wake you up from your naps?”  _

“No…” Jongin snuggles into Kyungsoo’s side. 

_ “So do you think it’s fair if you wake me up from mine?”  _

“No…” Jongin buries his sticky, hot body against the clean hotel sheets and drowsy Kyungsoo. “But you never get mad, so.” 

“I have to get mad so you listen?” Kyungsoo groans and claps a hand across his eyes. 

“Sorry,” Jongin whispers petulantly, nosing against Kyungsoo’s cheek apologetically. “I love you.” Kyungsoo’s annoyance slowly simmers away. 

“You need shower before tonight,” Kyungsoo pats the back of Jongin’s damp t-shirt, then winces. “You are really sweaty.” 

“Sorry, yeah, I’m disgusting right now.” But he doesn’t budge from the crook of Kyungsoo’s arm. 

“Tired…” Kyungsoo yawns, which makes Jongin instinctively yawn as well. 

“I could nap with you,” Jongin murmurs. “To make up for waking you up.” 

“It is okay.” Kyungsoo sighs. “Go shower.” 

“Come shower with me.” 

_ “You and I both know we’re going to end up being late if that happens.”  _

_ “I know.”  _ Jongin’s Korean accent is so cute. Kyungsoo’s mouth twitches.

_ “That’s rude, baby.”  _ Kyungsoo chides gently.  _ “Don’t make Jongdae and Sehun wait for us.”  _

“Okay, okay.” Jongin sighs and hauls himself off of the lump of warmth and comfort that Kyungsoo is. “Kissy,” Jongin pouts. Kyungsoo obliges, sitting up and pecking Jongin’s lips once, twice, three times. 

_ “You’re being cute on purpose. I’m not mad, I never was,”  _ Kyungsoo reassures him, chuckling when Jongin immediately drops the act and turns a little pink at having his cover blown. Not that he expected anything less from Kyungsoo. The man is too pragmatic. 

“Erm…” 

“You are still cute. Even no trying.” Kyungsoo ruffles his hair. “And you are gross. Shower now.” 

“Yessir.” 

Kyungsoo shoves his hands into his pockets and trails behind Jongin, beaming as his boyfriend runs across the sand to hop onto Sehun’s back excitedly. A particularly strong breeze ruffles Kyungsoo’s shirt and blows Jongin’s hair back from his face while Sehun staggers under Jongin’s weight before righting himself again. Kyungsoo picks his way more carefully off of the wooden boardwalk onto the soft sand and trudges over to where Jongdae and Sehun are digging a wide, shallow pit to get ready for their bonfire night. 

_ “Kyungsoo!”  _ Jongdae dusts the sand off of his hands and knees and embraces him.  _ “How are you? It’s good to see you again.”  _

_ “I’m good. California’s really nice,”  _ Kyungsoo bows a little in return.  _ “Enjoying my time.”  _

_ “S’good to hear.”  _ Both of them turn to watch Sehun and Jongin sprinting into the water together, the task at hand completely forgotten. 

_ “How’s Sehun?”  _ Kyungsoo asks, perhaps a little abashedly.  _ “How are you? I’m either busy with work or Nini, so I’m sorry. Feel like I should’ve caught up with you all sooner.”  _

_ “No worries. We’ve both been doing fine. Having fun on our own as well.”  _ Jongdae’s lips curl up into a kittenish smile.  _ “He’s a good honorary boyfriend.”  _

_ “Ah, so he never got together with that bell pepper from Christmas?”  _

_ “Didn’t work out.”  _ They share a laugh, and Kyungsoo watches Jongin make his way back from the surf with half of his shirt and entire lower body dripping seawater. “So much for staying dry,” Jongdae surveys him as Jongin tosses his shirt over his head, displaying his well-muscled, tan chest that seems to turn golden in the rays of late afternoon sunshine. 

“It’s still sunny, I’ll dry off,” Jongin dismisses while Sehun comes up behind him in a similarly drenched state. 

“Do you need help?” Kyungsoo inquires. 

“I left the cooler full of drinks and stuff in the back of my car, if you wanna go get that?” Jongdae switches effortlessly to English when Kyungsoo does, and fumbles in his pocket for his keys. “Kai? Go help Soo carry some stuff instead of… uh… what are you two doing?” 

“Sure,” Jongin dodges Sehun’s poking fingers which are jabbing at his six-pack and stumbles over to Kyungsoo to link their hands together. “Let’s go!” 

“Not a lot of people,” Kyungsoo remarks while they wander back to the wooden boardwalk entrance. 

“It’s a quieter beach access,” Jongin agrees, still gloriously bare-chested and windswept. 

_ “You look like such a stereotypical Cali boy,”  _ Kyungsoo tells him, resulting in a confused blink of honey-brown eyes. “Hot,” Kyungsoo settles something much simpler. 

“Me? The weather? You?” 

“You.” Jongin glances down at himself and rubs a self-conscious hand over his stomach. 

“I think I lost some weight.” Kyungsoo sighs at this and pops the trunk of Jongdae’s car instead. “What’d they get?” Jongin immediately opens the cooler curiously. “Oh, wow, that’s a lot of stuff.” Kyungsoo glances inside too, and promptly laughs. 

“Yes, Is just four people.” 

“Yeah, and Chanyeol’s not even here.” Jongin heaves the cooler out of the trunk with a grunt and a thud. Kyungsoo takes one end and together, the two of them awkwardly waddle back to Sehun and Jongdae. 

“Why is there so much food?” Jongin calls as a way of announcing his and Kyungsoo’s reappearance. 

“Just because you worship the bunnies doesn’t mean everyone else does.” Sehun stacks a pile of wood in the middle of the pit. “Let’s light this later, it’s way too hot right now.” 

“Is it gonna get cool enough?” Jongin wonders. 

“It will. Right before the sun sets, and afterwards as well.” Jongdae stands up and arches backwards. “Do you guys wanna eat now, or…?” 

“Are we done?” Sehun asks, surveying their setup. 

“Yeah, we’re done--” 

“WATER!” Sehun takes off towards the ocean again. “Jong!” 

“Hyung?” 

_ “Slowly,”  _ Kyungsoo consoles, so Jongin runs after Sehun while Kyungsoo trails behind them with Jongdae. 

_ “So how’s your thesis coming along?”  _ Jongdae inquires. Kyungsoo groans at the mention of it, and Jongdae laughs.  _ “Yeah, it do be like that.”  _

_ “I swear I can’t wait until I finally get it done.”  _ The water laps around Kyungsoo’s ankles, then recedes, drawing with it grains of sand from around his toes.  _ “And I can stay here.”  _

_ “Oh, but your H-1B…?”  _

_ “Ah, yes. Stressful as well.”  _

_ “Nothing yet?”  _

_ “No.”  _ Kyungsoo’s heart begins to speed up at just the thought. He’s been checking almost religiously, as if he would ever miss such a notification, but to no avail.  _ “I have a friend who’s also coming to America with me in the fall, but he hasn't gotten anything yet either,”  _ Kyungsoo shares, sighing. 

_ “Ah, I see. Well, I know the American visa process kinda sucks ass, so wishing you luck.”  _ Jongdae stares out at Sehun and Jongin, who have made it past the breaking point, and are now floating around in the ripples of deeper water, deep in conversation with the occasional splash and high-pitched, happy shriek from Jongin.  _ “He’s so lucky to have you.”  _

_ “How’s he been?”  _ Kyungsoo asks quietly.  _ “Before I visited?”  _

_ “Busy, very busy. Sometimes he will drop in for lunch or dinner with Sehun and I, but he’ll leave again right afterwards. Filming and practicing takes up a lot of his time.”  _ Jongdae inhales the salty, moist air.  _ “But it makes sense, since that’s what he came here for.”  _

_ “There’s always something to be worried about with him.”  _ Maybe it’s just that the beach makes Kyungsoo feel vulnerable, or maybe it’s that he instinctively trusts light-hearted, easygoing Jongdae. But he feels himself opening up to the man, confiding in him frustrations and anxiety that he wouldn’t dare tell Jongin. They stand in the surf until Sehun and Jongin are at least two shades darker and their own toes are wrinkled and pruny, talking about Jongin, about Sehun, about Moore’s law and its implications for Jongdae’s work. Jongdae tells Kyungsoo about how he feels lonely sometimes, and Kyungsoo shares how difficult it is for him to open up to people. Jongdae stumbles a little when the Korean gets too technical and talks in a mixture of Konglish sometimes, but Kyungsoo understands him, even when he doesn’t. And by the time Sehun and Jongin sneak up behind them, Kyungsoo feels like he views Jongdae in an entirely different light, like a close friend he’s known for years. 

“You said you would get in with me!” The drops of seawater clinging onto Jongin’s chest transfer and soak into the thin cotton of Kyungsoo’s shirt. “But you’re just gossiping with Jongdae-hyung.” 

“We’re not gossiping,” Jongdae’s face breaks into a smile while Sehun drapes his toned arms around Jongdae’s shoulder and rests his chin on the top of the elder’s head with a guiltily hopeful expression. Kyungsoo feels a pang of pity for the poor boy. 

“Enough talking,” Jongin declares, scooping Kyungsoo up easily despite Kyungsoo’s shout of protest and promptly dumping him into the incoming wave. When Kyungsoo comes up, eyes burning with the salty seawater, he hears Jongin’s insouciant laugh, Sehun’s entertained clapping, and Jongdae’s indignant shrieking at Sehun when he pops up a few feet away from Kyungsoo, having been dunked by the younger as well. 

“I’m dumping you!” He screeches to Sehun, hop-swimming over to Kyungsoo and wrapping arms and legs around him. “We’re dating now.” 

“Wait--” 

“Bye, Nini,” Kyungsoo wiggles his fingers at Jongin just as another wave crashes over both of them. 

The younger two calm down after sandwiches and soda, and Kyungsoo smiles when his sunshine-soaked, drowsy boyfriend tilts himself to lean against Kyungsoo’s arm, a can of ice-cold Diet Coke creating a circle of wet sand as the condensation drips from the aluminum on his other side. 

“S’getting cooler,” Jongdae remarks while the sun dips lower and lower in the sky. “We can light the fire now, if you all want.” 

“After the sunset,” Sehun asks, so Jongdae sets the box of matches down. Jongin sneaks a shy kiss onto Kyungsoo’s cheek and Kyungsoo startles. He turns to look at the younger, whose face radiates contentment and happiness. Kyungsoo presses the pad of his thumb into the mole at the outer corner of Jongin’s eye, into the one on his upper lip, and under the soft skin of his eye. 

_ “You are so beautiful,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs to Jongin, making him blush pink. 

“Ahem.” Jongdae clears his throat amusedly, and the two turn to watch the horizon. The West Coast sunset is beautiful, with shades of peach and golden yellow and muted orange blooming across the sky. Rich streaks of fiery coral seem to light the ocean on fire when the sun dips halfway below the water line.

“Oh, wow,” Jongin breathes. Kyungsoo wraps an arm around his shoulders and Jongin melts into his touch. As fast as the colors come, they slowly fade out into lilacs and violets and hints of cotton candy pink, before transitioning to gray-blue while the tiny, silver dots of stars pop out, accompanied by an almost-full moon. Kyungsoo barely registers the tug on his shirt. 

_ “Look at Sehun,”  _ Jongin whispers, and Kyungsoo glances over to the opposite side of the pit where Sehun sits, no longer looking at the night sky, but instead studying Jongdae with a wistful, almost sad expression on his face. Sehun must feel Kyungsoo’s eyes on him, because he looks over to meet Kyungsoo’s empathetic gaze. 

“It’s fine,” Sehun shakes his head to clear it and reassure Kyungsoo and Jongin. 

“What’s fine?” Jongdae turns to Sehun. 

“Don’t worry.” Sehun points to Jongin. “Wanna get the s’mores stuff?” 

“The… what?” Kyungsoo looks to Jongin for an explanation, but Jongin is preoccupied scrambling up from the shallow bank of the pit to grab plates, skewers, and ingredients. 

“TWO bags of marshmallows?” Jongin asks, ripping one bag open and filling up a plate with the fluffy desserts before passing it to Sehun carefully, along with a large bar of chocolate and a stack of graham crackers. 

“It was a buy one get one free deal,” Sehun defends himself. “If there’s leftovers we’ll just do this again sometime.” 

“Ahhh.” Jongin laughs at this, passing a marshmallow to Kyungsoo who blinks at him, carefully spearing it on the tip of his metal skewer just because that’s what Jongin did. Jongin and Sehun watch in ever-increasing hilarity as the pile of burnt out matchsticks increases while Jongdae struggles to get a fire going, then whoop and cheer obnoxiously when the fire finally catches. 

“Takes more effort than getting Sehun to show some emotion,” Jongdae sighs, collecting the pathetic pile of used matches and dumping them into the plastic bag that serves as a makeshift trash bin. 

“I show emotion,” Sehun’s eyes curl up into crescents. Jongdae steals a corner of the chocolate bar to pop into his mouth while they wait for the fire to grow bigger. “Hyung, don’t eat all the chocolate before we end up using it. Bro, we had bubble tea before this, too, this guy’s entire diet is just straight up sugar,” Sehun tells Jongin, amiably clapping Jongdae on the back. 

“I need energy to deal with little shits at the office. Kyungsoo agrees with me.” 

_ “Gummy bears,”  _ Kyungsoo quietly supplies, vaguely following the fast-paced English conversation around him.  _ “And chocolate.”  _

“Not chocolate, cause I steal it.” Jongin beams. Kyungsoo nods in agreement with this. 

“I think you guys can go for it now,” Jongdae murmurs when the flames grow to a respectable size. “I can feel the heat.” 

“I haven’t roasted marshmallows in a long time,” Jongin promptly holds his over the fire. Kyungsoo mirrors him, leaning over to rest his head on Jongin’s shoulder. “I think the last time we did this was… three years ago? Two?” His head tilts to touch Kyungsoo’s comfortably. 

“Actually, it was last year. New Year’s at Chanyeol’s, right?” Jongdae recalls. “I remember because I graduated that year.” 

“What happen?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“We went up to New York for the holidays,” Jongin shares, turning his stick a little so that his marshmallow will brown evenly. “And the hotel that we stayed in had a fire pit, so we all bundled up and sat outside for the whole night.” 

“It was freezing and Chanyeol’s fingers got so stiff he couldn’t even play the guitar correctly,” Sehun supplies. 

“Baekhyun got hella drunk.” 

“You did, too,” Sehun reminds Jongdae. “And tried to jump into the pool with him.” 

“Oh, yeah!” Jongdae throws his head back to laugh at the memory and accidentally dips his marshmallow into the flames. “Oh, shit.” 

“Rip,” Jongin bursts into laughter when Jongdae blows the flames out to reveal a blackened pile of sugar and gelatin. “There’s no saving that one.” He pulls his own perfectly browned marshmallow away from the bonfire and gingerly slides it off the skewer. Then he looks over at Kyungsoo, whose marshmallow is nowhere to be seen. “Did--did you eat yours already?” 

“Of course.” Kyungsoo looks at him quizzically.  _ “What else am I supposed to do with food?”  _

“The chocolate! And the graham crackers!” Jongin builds his own sandwich as he protests. “I mean, the marshmallows are good on their own, but how could you forget the best part?” 

“What?” 

“You’ve never had a s’more before?” Sehun pipes up from the other side of the bonfire. Kyungsoo shakes his head in dissent. Beside him, Jongin’s mouth drops open in shock before the younger bursts into giggles. Jongdae chuckles as well. 

_ “It’s a sandwich,”  _ Jongdae explains, motioning to Jongin’s.  _ “Graham crackers plus chocolate plus marshmallows. The chocolate melts because the marshmallow is hot, and it’s really good.”  _

_ “Oh my god.”  _ Kyungsoo’s eyebrows fly up and he closes his eyes for a brief moment in incredulity.  _ “That’s the most American thing I have ever heard.”  _

“You have to try one,” Jongin declares. “I can’t believe you’ve NEVER had a s’more--” 

_ “But,”  _ Kyungsoo holds up a new jumbo marshmallow.  _ “This is literally just sugar. And then you put it with MORE sugar sandwiched between sugar?”  _

“That’s the point,” Jongin explains, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Like, I never have s’mores because they’re so unhealthy, but they’re so good.” 

“I--” Kyungsoo’s face flies into a helpless smile. “So, so American. So American.” 

“You don’t have s’mores in Korea?” 

“No!” Kyungsoo shakes his head vehemently.  _ “Because who would put sugar between sugar with more sugar--”  _

_ “When in Rome, do as the Romans do,”  _ Jongdae supplies unhelpfully. 

“Here, I’ll show you how.” Jongin snatches the marshmallow that Kyungsoo’s holding, slides it onto the metal skewer, and directs it over the fire. “If you roast it for longer, the marshmallow gets more gooey and melts the chocolate easier.” 

_ “Whatever you say.”  _ Kyungsoo’s amusement is tantamount to incredulity, but Jongin’s eyes shine brightly, mirroring the bright flames that crackle and flicker in front of them. Kyungsoo stares at him unabashedly, as if Jongin is his entire universe, cupping the stars in the palm of his hand. 

“Your marshmallow’s going to burn,” Sehun rouses Kyungsoo out of his thoughts. His face is shrouded in the dark, but the bonfire casts light on his stoic countenance, and Kyungsoo knows him well enough to find the traces of tranquility on his face as well--relaxed jaw, an amused glimmer in his eyes, unresisting to Jongdae’s head tipped against his shoulder. 

“What now?” He asks Jongin, even though the process is rather self-explanatory. Jongin glances at him and giggles, carefully sliding the golden marshmallow off of his skewer, sandwiching it in between chocolate and graham crackers. 

“Here. It’s not exactly feedable.” 

_ “How am I even supposed to bite--”  _

“Just go for it,” Jongdae encourages. “The mess is part of the experience.” Kyungsoo sighs and tries it. 

“So?” Jongin watches him with his undivided attention. 

“Eet.” 

“Huh?” 

Kyungsoo chews with minor difficulty and swallows. “Sweet. So sweet.” 

“But it’s good, right?” 

_ “In moderation, sure.”  _ Kyungsoo chuckles and takes another bite.  _ “Could you pass me a soda?”  _

“Yeah.” Jongin gets up while Kyungsoo finishes the rest of his crumbly, sticky, ultra-sweet snack. “Want another?” 

“No.” Kyungsoo pops open his drink and lets the fizzy bubbles wash down all the sugar and soothe the dryness in his mouth. “Too sweet.” 

“Okie.” Jongin leans against him contentedly. “Sehunnie, you should’ve gotten a watermelon.” At this, Jongdae and Sehun both burst into laughter, supposedly at some inside joke. “What?” 

“Jong, do you pat watermelon when you go shopping?” Sehun asks. 

“No…?” 

“I do.” Kyungsoo pipes up. “See if ready, right?” 

“See?!” Sehun slaps Jongdae playfully. “I told you.” 

“Why would you… slap… a watermelon?” Jongin asks Kyungsoo bewilderedly. 

_ “If it sounds hollow, it’s ripe.”  _

“Wait, but why?” 

“I do not know.” Kyungsoo shrugs. “My mom does, so I do.” 

“Does it work?” Jongdae wants to know. Kyungsoo nods in tandem with Sehun. 

“No, but I was going to get one, actually,” Sehun returns to Jongin’s question. “But he wanted bubble tea and didn’t want to carry the watermelon, so I decided not to get it. And as you know I don’t trust pre-cut produce.” 

“Mmmm. I see.” Jongin leans back on his hands and gazes up at the night sky. The fire warms the front of his body, while the air on his back is fresh and cool. The sound of crackling flames and crashing waves on the surf, accompanied by the salty ocean breeze, ease Jongin into a deep, profound sense of peace. 

“Kai,” Jongdae calls. Jongin opens his eyes before realizing that they were closed. 

“Huh?” He tunes back in. 

“Whatcha thinking about?” Jongin smiles and turns himself sideways, laying his head across Kyungsoo’s lap while staring at the burning wood. 

“My hot boy summer.” 

Later, when they pack up sometime around midnight--or rather, Kyungsoo and Jongdae pack up while Sehun and Jongin chuck the unused bag of marshmallows at each other on the broad, empty expanse of beach in an impromptu game of catch--there comes a lull in the playfulness when they’re out of earshot of Jongdae and Kyungsoo. 

“How are you and Jongdae?” Jongin asks, catching the marshmallows but not throwing them back. Sehun’s face slips into an expression of guardedness, as if to ward his own feelings away. 

“Erm… it’s pretty good. I mean,” Sehun makes his way closer to Jongin so they can actually talk, “it was harder when he first asked me to stay over and all, but it’s fine now. I kind of found a balance.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. It’s not bad.” After a moment, Sehun adds, “I have Eric.” 

“Okay, let’s not go there.” Jongin can’t talk to his friend at MDC anymore without thinking about Sehun. “But he--I mean--like, is there anything… between you guys other than…” 

“Fucking? Nah. He’s a little shit.” Sehun cartwheels ahead of Jongin. “I dunno how you put up with him.” 

“He’s really nice. I help him out with choreography.” 

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same person?” 

“What’s he like to you?” Jongin asks curiously. 

“Wellllll,” Sehun stops cartwheeling and draws out the word. Jongin catches himself just as Sehun continues. 

“Wait, wait, I don’t wanna hear it.” 

“But you asked--” 

“I didn’t ask!” Jongin sprints back to the campfire so that Sehun can’t elaborate on his sex life. 

“Gee, thanks for the help,” Jongdae says sarcastically when they both arrive at the pit, laughing and breathless and clutching a very beat-up bag of marshmallows. “We’re basically done now.” 

“Then you didn’t need any help, did you?” Sehun points out, looping an arm around Jongdae. Kyungsoo sidles up next to Jongin and holds a hand out to him, but when Jongin reaches out eagerly, he hands him a plastic bag full of leftover food to carry instead. 

“Hyung!” 

“Carry it back,” Kyungsoo’s eyes are full of mirth. Jongin accepts the bag, glaring playfully at Kyungsoo. 

“Let’s catch up some other time as well,” Jongdae suggests as they walk back together. “Before you have to go, Soo.” 

“Yes,” Kyungsoo agrees softly, stealing a glance at Jongin at the mention of him leaving. Jongin smiles and nods in agreement. 

“I’ve gotta start meeting up with Kenzie again for filming and such, but I’m sure I can find some time.” 

“Sounds good. So then I’ll just text you guys?” 

“Whenever, Dae-hyung.”

“Do you guys need a ride?” Jongdae asks, stopping in his tracks. 

“Oh--yeah. That’d be nice.” 

“I’m tired,” Jongin whines once they return to the familiar hotel room, throwing the plastic bag carelessly into the small refrigerator. 

“Me, too.” Kyungsoo comes up behind him and buries his face against Jongin’s shoulder blades. “I love you.” 

“Love you, too.” Jongin turns around for a kiss. 

_ “Wanted to kiss you since the sun set,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers, nibbling Jongin’s lower lip gently. 

“Oh.” What is Jongin supposed to say to that? He lets himself go boneless while Kyungsoo cradles him carefully in his arms, strong and protective, and kisses him just as gentle. 

“Do you want…” Kyungsoo’s fingers have crawled underneath Jongin’s shirt to bracket his bare waist. 

“I’m tired,” Jongin repeats softly, and Kyungsoo nods. 

_ “I’ll hold you.”  _ They take turns showering and brushing teeth to get rid of sand and all that sugar they consumed, then Kyungsoo pulls Jongin into his arms--big as he is--and Jongin softly kisses Kyungsoo’s collarbones, like he loves to do. 

“Today was fun,” Jongin murmurs, tucking himself into Kyungsoo and breathing in the scent of his cologne that clings to him at all times. 

“Yes,” Kyungsoo agrees softly.

“I wish everyday was like this.” 

_ “But then today wouldn’t feel as special,”  _ Kyungsoo strokes Jongin’s damp hair lightly. 

“Everyday is special with you.” 

_ “And I’m the one who’s cheesy?”  _

“Hmmm.” Jongin only partially understands, but he’s too drowsy to bother asking for a translation. Kyungsoo presses a kiss onto the top of his head. 

“Oh,” Kyungsoo shifts slightly and pulls away from Jongin. “I have… something…” 

“Can’t it wait?” Jongin murmurs, reaching out to stop Kyungsoo from getting out of bed. 

“No.” Kyungsoo pads over to his backpack and fumbles for something in one of the smaller pockets for a second before returning, cupping two items in his hand. Jongin sits up reluctantly while Kyungsoo climbs back into the sheets, reaching out for Jongin’s left hand. 

“Am I being proposed to?” Jongin jokes when Kyungsoo brings his boyfriend’s hand up to his lips and holds it there for a couple of long seconds. “Not sure if mom would like that.” 

“Hm.” Kyungsoo only smiles indulgently before directing his attention to the thin gold chain around Jongin’s wrist. He slides it around until he finds the three links, two of which remain bare. 

“I bring back,” he tells Jongin, opening his hand to show him the two charms. Jongin’s eyes widen a little in surprise.  _ “Because we belong together.”  _

“Oh,” is all Jongin says while Kyungsoo carefully attaches the heart and Jongin’s initials to the bracelet. Jongin flicks his wrist once Kyungsoo is done, and the charms jingle together pleasantly. He looks up at Kyungsoo, whose eyes are filled with love. “Thank you.” 

“Of course.” 

“Can we please sleep now?” 

“Yes.” Kyungsoo chuckles and pulls Jongin to his chest again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL okay I _finally_ updated! Hi! It's super fluffy and wholesome and sweet ^_^ and I really miss summer cause Jongin out here getting the most out of his while I sit here in a pile of assignments and unfinished fanfic drafts ;-; but then again, I relate to Jongdae's lifestyle the most, so I suppose I only have myself to blame for that one :3  
> Ayo but like, do you guys pat watermelon, because my mom does it, so I do as well, but I'm really not good at picking the ripe ones ;-; If anyone has the secret pls let me know  
> Also s'mores are really, really good. I want s'mores now as well TT_TT  
> Aren't! The! Dividers! Cute?! They're cute now !!! Thank you Aranee!!! ^_^  
> Okay that's it for me! See you guys soon, thank you for all the love, I return tenfold ～(^з^)-♡
> 
> The Sehun X bell pepper ship is sinking - for now =(! ~~Let's see if our OTP will reappear.~~ And I'm with Kyungsoo on the topic of s'mores. Sugar with more sugar sandwiched between sugar is really the most American thing for me XD.
> 
> I started playing around with CSS a little after I found out how much freedom of styling AO3 allows. This chapter you can see the new scene dividers and other styling changes might slowly appear as the story progresses. Our work skin should work fine with custom AO3 skins, but please let me know in the comments if you should experience issues. Don't worry, we won't start posting in Comic Sans and neon pink and green, ~~or will we?~~
> 
> Thank you for reading and see you next time~


	19. persevering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Italic_ speech is in Korean.

Kyungsoo wakes up to the feeling of being crushed. He cannot breathe or feel the limbs on the right side of his body. A split second of panic engulfs him before his left arm encircles a warm waist and he registers the little puffs of hot breath on the side of his neck. And just like that, the feeling of being crushed becomes the best in the world. 

_ “There’s a whole ass bed…”  _ he mutters anyways, shoving Jongin off of him so his limbs can have some blood circulation. Predictably, the dancer sleepily flounders back to Kyungsoo like a baby octopus, unconsciously searching for bodily warmth. Kyungsoo relishes in it; embraces the pins and needles in his arm and leg with a viciousness that is unlike him. But when he scoops Jongin up and pulls him close, it is with characteristic gentleness. Jongin sleeps peacefully while Kyungsoo holds him, occasionally pressing kisses to his forehead and hairline. Eventually, Kyungsoo’s eyes slide closed as well, but he doesn’t doze off. Instead, he’s thinking a million thoughts all at once. In the midst of them, Kyungsoo keeps returning to the worst one. 

His impending departure date. 

God, how can he leave? Kyungsoo doesn’t even know if he has enough willpower to tear himself away from Jongin for another… how many months? Till September? October? And if he doesn’t get his H1-B…? A sleepy sneeze and snuffle shakes Kyungsoo from his thoughts. 

“Mmmm,” Jongin finally stirs and Kyungsoo’s eyes flutter open to find Jongin staring up at him, long eyelashes framing his eyes. “Goo’morning,” Jongin slurs, feeling drowsy and warm and comfy. 

“Good morning,” Kyungsoo whispers, dropping a kiss on his forehead. Jongin likes forehead kisses; likes giving and receiving them. He likes 60% dark chocolate and banana milk. Jongin clings to things in his sleep. He has two moles on the right side of his stomach. Jongin wears Converse like slippers and doesn’t like combing his hair in the morning. Kyungsoo cannot tear himself away. Jongin’s arms wrap around Kyungsoo’s waist, so that it is uncertain who is cuddling who anymore, but it doesn’t really matter. As long as Kyungsoo can still hold him for a little longer. 

_ “Should we do something together?”  _ Kyungsoo muses after a long, long period of comfortable silence. Jongin’s eyes have slid shut again, and his breathing is evening out. Did he fall asleep? Kyungsoo wonders incredulously. “Nini?” 

“Hmm.” 

_ “Do you want to go somewhere today?”  _

“Ooh!” Jongin’s eyes fly open and he shoots up out of bed so fast that his head smacks Kyungsoo’s chin. 

“Ack!” 

“Oh, sorry, sorry--” Jongin is overcome with giggles while Kyungsoo turns his face into the pillows, cupping his chin with both hands. “Sorry,” he kneels over Kyungsoo and physically rolls him over, prying both hands away from the elder’s chin and peppering kisses on it. “Sorry, sorry.” 

_ “I have never seen you get up out of bed so quickly,”  _ Kyungsoo grumbles.  _ “Not even a national emergency could wake you up that fast.”  _

“You made me remember, guhhh, where’s my phone,” Jongin flops over Kyungsoo to reach for it on the nightstand. Kyungsoo can’t help it; he pats Jongin’s butt a few times. Jongin seems to not mind, because once he’s acquired his phone, he stays sprawled over Kyungsoo’s bare stomach, allowing Kyungsoo to cup and squeeze however he wants. 

“Mmm, this,” Jongin holds his phone over Kyungsoo’s face so he can see. “One of my friends from MDC sent it to me last week. It’s a fan event at a downtown cafe for Taemin’s birthday.” Kyungsoo’s hand comes down sharply on Jongin’s butt and he yelps. “What was that for?” 

_ “For thinking of Taemin while you’re lying in bed with me and I’m touching your cute ass.”  _ Kyungsoo sighs dramatically.  _ “Tell me, have you ever truly loved me?”  _ Jongin is giggling again, all giddy and happy and mischievous. 

“I love you, but you know I love Tae--” another slap. Jongin’s words are barely discernible through his high-pitched laughter. 

_ “Say that again.”  _ Kyungsoo sits up with minor difficulty and Jongin shrieks as Kyungsoo tackles him, pinning him against the mattress and gripping his wrists on either side of his head so Jongin can’t move. Jongin’s eyes are still bright and sly as he looks up at Kyungsoo bracing himself over Jongin. 

“I love Lee Taemin more than--” Kyungsoo closes the gap between their mouths. Their teeth clash together because Jongin won’t stop laughing and Kyungsoo is too busy smiling, but Kyungsoo’s hand slides up Jongin’s wrist to intertwine with his fingers, and he lowers himself to lay on top of Jongin comfortably. 

“Who?” Kyungsoo demands when they break apart. 

“You,” Jongin obliges, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo. “Of course you.” 

“Thought so.” There’s more comfortable silence, and then-- 

“So can we go?” 

Jongin is  _ gone  _ the second they walk into the shop. Kyungsoo doesn’t even have time to blink before Jongin has zoomed off into the masses, presumably to buy his 90% milk, 10% coffee latte for the free cupsleeve. Kyungsoo makes himself scarce in a corner of the shop amongst the small crowd of Shawols that are milling about until he can catch a glimpse of Jongin. It only takes a few minutes until Jongin reappears and Kyungsoo sneaks around people to land a light touch on his arm. Jongin turns around and pushes an iced latte (predictable) into Kyungsoo’s hand. 

“Hmm?” 

“It’s too bitter,” Jongin pouts. “I just wanted the cupsleeve.” Kyungsoo examines the one around the cup. It’s quite cute, Kyungsoo concedes. Now he kind of wants one, too. Not that he’ll ever use it.

“Okay.” Kyungsoo hides a smile as he sips on the drink.  _ “Christ, Jongin, this isn’t even coffee, this is sugar.”  _

“No, it’s really bitter. I don’t like it.” 

_ “Stay with me,”  _ Kyungsoo tells him firmly, as if scolding a 6-year old.  _ “I’ll take pictures for you, okay? Geez.”  _

“Everything is so cute,” Jongin gushes, looking around at all the posters and slogans in the small shop. “I kind of really love this dark brown wood with pearl aqua color scheme they got going on.” 

“Uh oh,” Kyungsoo mutters. 

“What?” 

_ “Bad news for our future apartment.”  _

“Absolutely.” A radiant smile spreads across Jongin’s face at the mention of 1. A pearl aqua accented apartment, and 2. A future apartment with Kyungsoo. 

_ “You have friends here?”  _ Kyungsoo asks. 

“Mayyybeee? I don’t know when they’re coming; I suppose we should have coordinated.” Jongin clutches Kyungsoo’s hand tightly and looks down at him excitedly. “I have you, though.” 

“Tch.” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at the greasiness. “Do not be like that.  _ Here,”  _ Kyungsoo hands the drink back.  _ “Hold it and pretend you like coffee.”  _

“Huh?” Jongin takes the drink, but watches in confusion as Kyungsoo rummages within his bag. His expression turns into one of delight when Kyungsoo brings out the instant film camera that Baekhyun had given both of them as a birthday present. “You brought that?” 

_ “Who do you think I am?”  _ Kyungsoo aims the camera at Jongin. 

“Wait wait wait wait wait, I want it by all the plants and that banner.” Kyungsoo follows obligingly. 

“Can take more than one,” Kyungsoo murmurs, but snaps the picture anyways. “What else?” 

“Just take pictures of everything,” Jongin asks.

_ “And if I run out of film?”  _

“That’s fine!” So Kyungsoo trails behind Jongin, amusing himself by finding angles to capture the ambience of the cafe so Jongin will have some tangible memories to look back on. 

“Soo,” Jongin turns around to find Kyungsoo right behind him. “I want a picture together.” 

“Okay.” 

“Should I ask someone?” 

“Of course.” Kyungsoo hands the camera to him and watches as Jongin cautiously approaches a small group of people. One of them immediately turns to Jongin and nods while Jongin passes the camera off to them. Kyungsoo startles in surprise as Jongin stands slightly behind him and shyly wraps both arms around Kyungsoo’s shoulders, letting the half-full coffee cup in his hand tip ever so casually in front of him. Kyungsoo turns back to the girl and offers a smile. 

“Do you want another?” she asks. 

“Could you? That’d be amazing.” Jongin nestles his head on Kyungsoo’s shoulder again and tips their heads together. 

“You two are so cute,” she muses, handing the camera back to Jongin. “A Shawol couple!” 

“Kinda,” Jongin agrees, smiling at Kyungsoo who tries his hardest not to laugh. “Thank you.” 

“Yeah, of course. Who’s your bias?” Kyungsoo busies himself with the camera while Jongin gets easily caught up in a conversation when the girl returns back to her group with him. 

“Soo!” Jongin calls after a few minutes, and Kyungsoo shyly sidles up next to Jongin. “There’s fan merch,” Jongin motions to the slogans and fans, little acrylic keychains and self-printed photo cards. “Look how cute it all is, oh my God.” 

_ “I know you want to do more than just look at it,”  _ Kyungsoo smiles, pressing his debit card into Jongin’s hand. 

“Wait, I can buy it--” 

“Which one?” Kyungsoo inquires, motioning to the cheering banners. “This is cute,” Kyungsoo muses, motioning to the one on the left. “I like this.” 

“Do you want it?” 

“No,” Kyungsoo’s mouth quirks upwards. “For you.” 

“Oh.” Jongin cautiously picks up one of the slogans, then considers the photocard set for a moment too long. Kyungsoo places it in his hand. 

“You’re Kai, aren’t you?” Jongin looks up in surprise. The girl selling all the merch is studying him, and when Jongin meets her eyes, she smiles. “You are! You’re the one who said ‘stan SHINee’ on ‘So You Think You Can Dance’!” 

“Oh, geez.” Jongin’s smile is already growing. “Yeah, that’s me.” 

“I love your dancing! And your ‘Replay’ cover! Did you see all the support you got? A ton of my friends and I all called in for you,” the girl tells him shyly. Kyungsoo slowly melts into the background so Jongin can chat with her and pay for his purchases. Jongin looks just as delighted and surprised as his fan, and Kyungsoo stifles his laughter as Jongin nervously signs a piece of paper for her. A few people catch sight of this, and all of a sudden, Jongin is surrounded by a few more curious Shawols. 

“I thought you looked familiar,” one of them exclaims, and at this, Jongin flushes adorably. 

“Thank you,” he says over and over again, overwhelmed by the well-wishes that he receives. There are more autographs scribbled out, more ‘hwaiting!’ and phrases of luck for his success on SYTYCD, and Jongin copes with it easier now, with bright eyes and happy, amiable conversation. He is, after all, just another Shawol. When the small buzz around the merchandise table and Jongin calms down, the dancer makes his way back to Kyungsoo, but doesn’t reach out for his hand, cautious about PDA now that he’s aware of a fan presence. 

“What did you get?” Kyungsoo questions, taking his debit card back and slipping it inside his wallet. 

“The slogan and the photocards. There was a really pretty Taemin fanart postcard that one of my fans gave to me for free,” Jongin fishes it out of the bag to show Kyungsoo. “Isn’t it pretty?” 

“Oh, wow.” Kyungsoo is impressed both by the art and by Jongin’s popularity.  _ “Seems like you’re really gaining support.”  _

“Shawols are so nice,” Jongin says softly, smiling. “They said my dancing was really good.” 

“It is.” 

“Well, you always say nice stuff about me.” Jongin’s cheeks are tinged pink. “I’m really happy to hear it,” Jongin admits. “Having the feedback and meeting my fans and hanging out with Shawols. It’s such a good feeling.” 

_ “We can stick around for the whole event,”  _ Kyungsoo reassures him, checking his watch.  _ “We’re not in a hurry. Take your time.”  _

“But I can’t hold your hand or anything… and it’s not fun for you, is it?” 

“Who said?” Kyungsoo asks, tugging the plastic bag full of goodies from Jongin and placing it in his own tote bag. “It is fun. Be with you is fun.” Jongin brightens up at this. “I just follow you around,” Kyungsoo continues. “You want picture, let me know.” 

“I love you,” Jongin mouths. Kyungsoo smiles and lets the words wash over him. 

Chanyeol is lost in thought when a head butts against Chanyeol’s tricep, rousing him from his concentrated stupor. He turns around to face his fiance, who clings to his arm and smushes his face further into Chanyeol. 

“Yeol,” Baekhyun speaks softly.  _ “Whatcha thinking about?”  _

_ “Nothing,” _ Chanyeol murmurs, distractedly stroking Baekhyun’s hair. Of course, his fiance isn’t convinced. They’ve been together for too long. 

“Tell me.” 

“I…” Chanyeol bites the inside of his cheek, just like the guilt eats at him and makes his stomach twist unpleasantly. He feels so, so selfish just thinking about it. “Don’t worry about it,” he finally says. His hand comes to a rest and curls softly at the nape of Baekhyun’s neck, keeping him close. Baekhyun lets the subject go. If Chanyeol doesn’t want to talk, it’s pointless to nag. 

_ “I’m gonna go do the laundry,” _ Baekhyun says softly, moving away from Chanyeol. The taller lets his hand drop. 

“Okay.” He watches Baekhyun disappear into his bedroom, humming a small tune as he does so. The humming turns into melodic singing as Baekhyun works, and Chanyeol recognizes it as one of the songs that Baekhyun collaborated on a few months ago at the little recording studio he works at in the heart of Boston. 

I will be with you 

I’ll stay with you 

I will be with you

And you’ll always be my love~

Chanyeol sighs heavily. 

“Baek,” he calls. His fiance’s singing ceases and his head pops out of the room almost immediately, as if he’d been expecting Chanyeol to change his mind. 

“What is it?” He inquires. Chanyeol beckons for him to sit on the couch next to him and Baekhyun does so, drawing his legs up to his chest and leaning his head against the comfortable cushions. 

“When I surprised you last week,” Chanyeol begins gently, “you know how I was on the phone with Jongdae?” 

“Mhm.” 

“Well, before you came in, he was telling me how his company was hiring,” Chanyeol explains. Baekhyun stays silent, so Chanyeol continues. “He was offering me a referral to work at NVidia with him,” Chanyeol elaborates. “In Los Angeles.” Baekhyun’s eyes go wide and a breathy, surprised little ‘oh’ sound leaves his lips. Chanyeol stops here and waits for Baekhyun to say something. 

“What did you tell him?” Baekhyun’s eyebrows crease together. 

“I said I would think about it.” 

“And…?” Baekhyun presses. Chanyeol decides to come clean. 

“I’m tempted,” Chanyeol says softly, already feeling selfish for just admitting it. For the sake of staying together, Chanyeol had previously suppressed all ambitions of working for any of the top companies once he graduated, as none of them had a presence in Boston. But the truth is, he’d been tempted by Jongdae’s offer as soon as he had kicked the ball into Chanyeol’s court. Jongdae works at NVidia--one of the top chip manufacturing companies in the entire world--researching cutting-edge technology. They’re reputable and highly sought after. It would literally be a dream come true to work at such a high-profile, influential corporation for Chanyeol. But something still holds him back, and that something is sitting in front of him, looking very uncertain and worried.

“I’m not upset.” Baekhyun bites his lip.  _ “I’m not upset,” _ he repeats as a preface. “But I thought that we had everything figured out for after graduation? Like, you said you’d gotten job offers in the city, and you were going to move in?” 

“That’s what I had planned,” Chanyeol begins slowly. Now that he’s brought the subject up, he doesn’t even know why he did so in the first place. Baekhyun… he looks so against the idea. Chanyeol clears his throat, but his ‘never mind’ gets stuck anyway. 

“We have a plan,” Baekhyun fidgets while he talks. “We said that you would come back and you’d move in.  _ Chanyeol,”  _ Baekhyun switches to Korean when he wants to emphasize his speech.  _ “We’ve waited four years for this.”  _ He’s not trying to guilt trip, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t at least a little opposed to the idea of upending the future that they both envisioned. He studies Chanyeol, whose eyes are slowly showing more and more guilt as Baekhyun talks. “I--” Baekhyun starts then stops, chewing his bottom lip, searching for the right words. Chanyeol waits patiently. “Okay,” Baekhyun decides to give Chanyeol a chance to talk while he organizes his thoughts. “I mean, what did you have in mind?” 

“So--so the way I see it, we have three choices,” Chanyeol puts a finger down for each option that he notes. “One is that I turn Jongdae down straight away.” Baekhyun shifts. “The second is that I--I go to Los Angeles, and you stay here with your work.” Baekhyun’s already shaking his head, but Chanyeol still continues. “And the third option is that we both go.” 

_ “Not the second,” _ Baekhyun wrinkles his nose, and Chanyeol immediately agrees. 

“No. Not the second.” Chanyeol would rather be stuck at a low-profile, quiet, mediocre workplace than go through God-knows-how-many-years of long distance again. Not when they’re finally done with six years of university, not when they’ve been together for so long, not when they’re  _ engaged.  _ “I’m not leaving you again.” A semblance of relief shows in Baekhyun’s eyes. “Is that mainly what you were worried about?” Chanyeol asks. 

“Yes and no. I knew you wouldn’t want to be separated. But I can clearly see how much you want this.” Baekhyun reads the longing glint in Chanyeol’s eyes like it’s nothing. 

“I’m--” Chanyeol cuts his apology short, pressing his lips together. “I don’t want to take your job away from you.” Chanyeol settles for that.

“I know,” Baekhyun nods, not wanting to sound accusatory. “The problem is that my studio is here,” he murmurs, “and that equivalent for you is… in LA.” Baekhyun loves working at the recording studio, producing songs, occasionally featuring on them, and writing lyrics. He’s been there ever since he was in high school; first just for fun, then as a student assistant and intern in college, and now the title of assistant producer sits there, waiting for him to accept as soon as Baekhyun collects his diploma. The studio is like his second home, having practically grown up there. His colleagues are some of his closest friends; his boss is like his second father. It’s absolutely natural for Baekhyun to integrate it into his life as his workplace. 

“I know.” Chanyeol runs a hand through his hair.  _ “I know.”  _

“Why do you want to go?” Baekhyun inquires, cutting straight to the chase. “You’ve turned down other big offers before. So why this one? It’s not just because it’s a referral, is it?” 

“The referral helps,” Chanyeol acknowledges. “I guess I just still really want to try. It’s just a big opportunity, Baek,” Chanyeol sighs.  _ “It’s such an honor. I don’t want it to go to someone else.” _

“But we have almost everything figured out here,” Baekhyun says quietly, picking at the lint on his gray cotton shorts. “We’ll be together. You can find a job that you love. I have my studio.” He doesn’t want to be conflicted over this; not when they were so close to finishing up this chapter of their relationship and starting anew  _ together. _ Chanyeol gets it. 

_ “I don’t have to take the offer,” _ Chanyeol acquiesces slowly, letting the idea start to slip through his fingers. “I have job offers here, too. That would fit better with our plans. I can just look into those a little more.” 

“I would like that,” Baekhyun whispers, closing his eyes. 

“It’s okay. I can just tell Jongdae that we would rather stay here.” Chanyeol sighs quietly. And now, it’s Baekhyun’s turn to feel guilty. 

_ “I feel like I should say sorry,”  _ Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows together. 

_ “You have nothing to be sorry about,”  _ Chanyeol tells him very firmly.  _ “I’m still happy with our plan. I am OK with staying here.”  _ But he looks resigned, as if he’s hiding the true extent of his disappointment for the sake of Baekhyun. And in that moment, Baekhyun wavers just a little bit. He thinks about how many times Chanyeol has driven at 1, 2, sometimes 3 in the morning for hours just to get to Baekhyun when he couldn’t bear the separation anymore. He thinks about how many times he has fallen for Chanyeol’s excuse that he’s ‘busy’, only to come home from the studio to find him studying on Baekhyun’s couch. Baekhyun remembers far-too-short Christmas vacations in New York, years of watching friends casually hold hands with their significant others on campus and feeling a pang of jealousy, uncontrollable drunk sobbing on Sehun’s shoulder and Jongin holding him until he falls asleep--a poor but kind replacement for Chanyeol’s arms. Chanyeol’s done everything for Baekhyun; would go to the ends of the world for him. He’s never once tried to break up with Baekhyun, instead always rushing to fix his mistakes and desperately comforting Baekhyun when he wanted to walk away. Apologizes, even if it wasn’t his fault. Even though Baekhyun knows he’s been unsure about Chanyeol more than once, it seems as if Chanyeol has never considered anyone else but Baekhyun. He would settle in a heartbeat if Baekhyun asked for it. He’s settling now. But Baekhyun… doesn’t really want him to this time. 

“But you don’t really want to stay,” Baekhyun states rather matter-of-factly. He looks steadily at Chanyeol, his expression all soft and understanding with no hint of teasing. “You want to go to Los Angeles.” 

_ “I just want us to be happy and together,”  _ Chanyeol says softly, shaking his head just a little. _ “You make me happier than any job.”  _

_ “But you’d be even happier if you had the job, too.”  _

_ “But that’s not fair because it’s the same for you.”  _

“I’m happy with YOU,” Baekhyun offers. “I just want to be with you, too. No matter what.” Chanyeol reaches out for Baekhyun’s hand, and the shorter man offers it to him delicately. He brings the slender hand up to his cheek, feeling the cold gold of Baekhyun’s engagement ring press against his skin. Chanyeol turns his head to touch his lips to it, and Baekhyun’s eyes flutter closed, as if Chanyeol’s mouth is planted against his. 

“I’ll stay with you,” Chanyeol promises, and Baekhyun knows that he’ll never find someone else like Chanyeol. It makes his heart ache. 

“I’ll follow you,” Baekhyun swallows hard and speaks quickly before his courage fails him. “If… if you want to fly over to interview. Just to try.” Chanyeol’s heart begins beating quicker at just the thought. 

“We don’t have to decide anything right now,” Chanyeol says slowly, drawing each syllable out. “Maybe I can just… try for the interview and then see if I get an offer at all.” 

“I think you should pull a Kai Roberts here,” Baekhyun says softly, the corner of his lips curling upwards to lighten the mood a little, “and just go for new opportunities. It really would be a shame if you just let it go.”

“It would, wouldn’t it?” Chanyeol’s eyes crinkle up at the corners. “What was all that ivy league education for if not to give Jongdae referral bonuses?” 

“What was all that time we spent apart for if not to go annoy the shit out of Jongdae?” Baekhyun’s smile lights up the entire room and makes Chanyeol’s heart flutter just as nervous as it had the first time he had asked Baekhyun out. “Take over his office space.” 

“Eat all of his candy.” 

“Draw dicks on his spreadsheets.” 

“Mess with his workstation when he forgets to lock his screen.” God, Chanyeol is so in love. 

“You should try,” Baekhyun encourages, returning to the subject at hand, watching how Chanyeol’s eyes fill with hope and love. It’s almost enough to convince Baekhyun to completely let go of their careful, thought out plans and run with wherever life might happen to take them. “Try, and see what happens.  _ If you don’t get the offer, we fall back to Plan A. If you get the offer, we’ll just… see.” _ Baekhyun keeps it vague. 

“Okay,” Chanyeol agrees, clasping Baekhyun’s hand in both of his and squeezing it tightly in gratitude.  _ “No matter what, I’ll keep you with me.”  _

“I will be with you,” 

Baekhyun sings softly. 

“I’ll stay with you.” 

“Long time no see!” Mackenzie chirps when Jongin walks into the SYTYCD dance studio. Jongin gives her a hug and a high five. 

“How was your week off?” 

“Amazing. I went to the beach with some of the other dancers for a few days. What about you?” 

“My boyfriend is in town,” Jongin tells her shyly, and Makenzie’s mouth drops. 

“That’s awesome! Oh my gosh, he came to visit you?” 

“Yeah. It’s been really, really nice,” Jongin talks as he crouches down and begins his stretches. 

“I bet. How long is he here for?” 

“He has to leave right after I film for show 4,” Jongin’s mouth twists as he watches himself in the mirror. “To go back to Korea.” 

“Korea--shit, you guys are LONG long-distance.” 

“Yeah.” Jongin sighs. He tries not to think about it too much, but the separation is unavoidable. “But it’s okay… I think… like, as long as his visa works out and everything. He’s planning on coming to the States for work later this year.” 

“Oh, I see. Then I hope that goes well for him!” 

“Me, too,” Jongin says honestly. 

“Okay, should we get started?” Choreographer Dave Scott walks into the room, and Jongin turns and straightens up eagerly. They have hip-hop this week, which means Jongin is absolutely in his element. Even when the choreography is difficult, Jongin throws every bit of energy into the dance. He’d missed how it feels to dance and practice with the knowledge that in a few days he’ll have to perform and compete with the routine. Makenzie seems to be feeling the same way, because between the two of them, they tear through four solid hours of almost non-stop practice like it’s nothing. 

“Oh, the benefits of not being burned out,” Makenzie jokes when they finish their first whole run-through of the program with only a few minor mistakes. Dave looks more than pleased at their progress in just a few hours. 

“I don’t think I’ve had this type of practice in months,” Jongin remarks. “D’you know what I mean? Like, mind-numbing, totally in-the-zone, 110% productive practice?” 

“Yeah. The best kind, and the rarest.” Mackenzie sits down on the wooden floor and spreads her legs into a full middle split. 

“Do you have all your splits?” Jongin asks, eyeing her somewhat enviously. Not that he really needs his splits, but still, it would be nice. 

“You ask that like I haven’t done all of them at least once in a practice or routine before.” Makenzie easily turns to the right, then to the left with hardly any adjustment except to square her hips off. Jongin is so jealous. 

“I wish I had my splits.” 

“You need to stretch. It’s harder for guys, but not impossible. Are you flexible?” 

“No, definitely not.” Jongin spreads his legs out in a sad ninety-degree angle. “That’s it.” Makenzie brings her legs a little closer together and motions for Jongin to sit opposite from her, so that their shoes touch together. She grabs Jongin by the wrists and pulls him forward while she leans back. 

“Owwww,” Jongin complains. 

“You said you wanted to get your splits.” Jongin pulls her forward and leans back. Makenzie easily drops down to the floor, angling her body towards the right. 

“Don’t wanna get a faceful of dick.” 

“Oh.” Jongin can’t help the embarrassed chuckle that escapes. Of course Makenzie makes dirty jokes. 

“We’ll save that for your boyfie.” 

“Oh my God.” Jongin buries his red face in his hands as Makenzie bursts into laughter. 

“You know, that’s one of the things I find really great about you,” Makenzie remarks as she stands up and arches back into a backbend. Jongin crosses his legs neatly. 

“What?” 

“On stage you pull the craziest facial expressions and you’re so outgoing. But off stage you’re hella sweet and shy.” 

“That’s just performance factor,” Jongin murmurs. “I mean, you don’t smile that widely in your day-to-day life, do you?” 

“Ahh, that’s totally different. For some people, their on-stage and off-stage persona’s can be the same. But sometimes it’s like you transform into a completely different person.” 

“Ah.” Jongin doesn’t know what to say to that. “Thank you?” 

“Yeah.” Makenzie comes back up from her backbend and bends over to touch her toes. “It’s a good thing,” Makenzie adds. “A skill that lots of people don’t have.” 

They end up doing one more hour of practice before Dave dismisses them, more than happy with the progress that they’ve made. Jongin texts Kyungsoo that he finished earlier than expected, but doesn’t expect the call that comes. 

“What’s up?” 

“I pick you up?” Kyungsoo asks. There’s a smile in his voice. 

“Oh! Uhhh…” Jongin glances over at Makenzie, who’s doing a handstand against the wall. “But all the dancers… the crew… everyone is here, I don’t know if it’s a good idea…” 

_ “Doesn’t have to be at the building. I can meet you somewhere.”  _

“Who is it? Is it your boyfriend?” Makenzie neatly rights herself and throws a teasing look at Jongin, who nods quickly. “Ohmygosh, I wanna meet him.” 

“Your partner?” Kyungsoo asks. 

“Yeah, Kenzie.” Jongin chews his lip. 

“Hi, Kai’s boyfriend!” Makenzie crowds Jongin so that the speaker will pick up her voice. 

“Hello.” Kyungsoo is utterly bemused, and Jongin is very shy. 

“Is he staying with you? Let me go meet him,” Makenzie shakes Jongin, who bursts into flustered laughter. 

“Why do you wanna meet him so badly?” 

“I just wanna make fun of you with him!” 

“Gahh, no. Definitely not letting you meet him.” 

_ “I want to meet her,”  _ Kyungsoo’s voice gets more and more amused.  _ “Bring her with you.”  _

“Not you, too,” Jongin groans, then yelps as Makenzie snatches his phone. 

“We’re gonna sneak out the back so the camera crew doesn’t catch us,” Makenzie reports. 

“We are?” Jongin asks helplessly. 

“Yes, we are. And you can meet us there, nobody ever goes to the back.” 

“Wait, are we allowed to do this?” Jongin asks when Makenzie hangs up for him. 

“Probably. Maybe not. Who cares?” Makenzie hauls Jongin out of the studio, looks up and down the empty hallway of dance studios, and both of them make a run for the back of the building instead of the front. Somewhere along the way Jongin trips over his shoelace and crashes into Makenzie, who stifles her giggles until they both manage to make it outside, then doubles up on herself. Which is how Kyungsoo finds both of them, clutching their sides helplessly, broken fire exit door left ajar, sweaty, tired, and unreasonably hysterical. 

“Hello,” Kyungsoo gives Jongin a small wave, chuckling when Jongin staggers over to him and drapes his arms around Kyungsoo’s shoulders. “You are happy today.” 

“Aww, that’s cute.” Makenzie finally stops laughing and makes her way over to the couple. Jongin lets go of Kyungsoo and stands to the side. 

“My dance partner, Kenzie,” he murmurs to Kyungsoo. “And this is Kyungsoo. You can call him Soo though.” 

“Nice to meet you!” Kyungsoo accepts Kenzie’s handshake graciously. “He doesn’t talk about you a lot cause there’s cameras all over the place, but when he does, he gets super lovey dovey and he melts into a puddle of goo--” 

“Stop making things up, we’ve only talked about him like, twice,” Jongin hisses while Kyungsoo stifles laughter. 

“But it’s true, you should see yourself when we talk about him. Hey, does Kai tell you about filming?” 

“Sometimes.” Kyungsoo keeps his answers short and listens intently to understand Makenzie’s fast-paced talking. 

“Okay, so we have to film a bunch of b-roll shots and candids, but a lot of candids are posed anyways,” Makenzie explains. “And Kai likes to act like he’s super cool and tough and fuckboy in his everyday life--” 

“I do not!” Jongin’s voice comes out as a whine. 

“You really do! Running your hand through your hair like this,” Makenzie imitates him and Kyungsoo bursts into laughter now, clapping his hands together while Jongin pouts. “And your smirk. It does look good on camera,” Makenzie admits. “But you’re so not like that in real life.” 

“Sound like him,” Kyungsoo agrees after he calms down. 

“Hyung!” 

“Cute,” Kyungsoo tells him affectionately. “It is okay.” 

“But yeah. We’ve been having a ball together. It’s really tiring but it’s good. You don’t need to worry about him.” 

“Sounds good,” Kyungsoo murmurs, still reserved even though Makenzie is so friendly and open with him. 

“But I do have to threaten you.” 

“Wait,” Jongin groans, but Makenzie has already started in on Kyungsoo. 

“You better continue to treat him well,” Makenzie warns a very surprised Kyungsoo. “Kai’s one of my best friends here. If he isn’t happy, trust me when I say I’ll find out.” 

“Don’t threaten him,” Jongin laughs as Kyungsoo rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “He wouldn’t do anything of the sort.” 

“Just gotta make sure he knows.” 

“I won’t,” Kyungsoo promises, taking one of Jongin’s hands. “Please… take care of him, too.” 

“Okay, what am I, a child?” 

“Yes,” both Kyungsoo and Makenzie answer in unison. “You act so innocent, can’t help it,” Makenzie elaborates. Jongin rolls his eyes and squeezes Kyungsoo’s hand. 

“I’m gonna get going now, I promised Malece I would go get dinner with her,” Makenzie begins backing away from them. “Have fun! I’ll see you tomorrow! Use protection! Make sure you can still walk and dance and everything!” 

“That was so not necessary!” Jongin’s cheeks are turning pink again. 

“You never know! Bye, Kyungsoo!” 

“Bye,” Kyungsoo waves at her while she jogs off.  _ “Well, she’s fun to be around.”  _

“Hyung, I don’t act cool in front of the cameras. And I’m NOT a child, and--” 

“Shh, shh.” Kyungsoo smiles up at Jongin.  _ “You two get along well, don’t you? It’s cute of her to tease you like that.”  _

“Yeah, I guess.” Jongin shrugs. “We do work well together. But I’m NOT--” 

_ “Nini, you don’t think I know how you act?”  _ Kyungsoo tiptoes upwards and Jongin kisses him obligingly.  _ “I like her a lot,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs when they break apart.  _ “Positive. Very loyal and hardworking.”  _

“Yeah, pretty much. She even threatened you.” 

“Funny,” Kyungsoo remarks, switching to English. “Sehun, Baek, Chanyeol, they all not threaten.” 

“That’s, uh, that’s cause they’re scared of you.” 

“Ah. Then she also brave, I like that.” Kyungsoo chuckles once more, then pulls Jongin to start walking back to their hotel. 

“What do you want do?” Kyungsoo asks Jongin, who’s scrolling through his phone with his head in Kyungsoo’s lap, still damp from his shower and wearing nothing but Kyungsoo’s t-shirt and boxers. Kyungsoo sits propped up in the pillows, texting Junmyeon about something. Jongin glances up at his boyfriend with contentment written all over his face. 

“I don’t care.” 

_ “Do you want to watch a movie?”  _

“Not really,” Jongin admits, feeling warm and cozy just like this. Kyungsoo chuckles and shifts his legs a little under Jongin’s head. 

“But when I ask, you say you do not care.” 

“I don’t wanna do anything,” Jongin murmurs, nuzzling himself into Kyungsoo’s hip. “I want cuddles,” he pouts. 

_ “I can do that. Wait--”  _ Kyungsoo slides out of bed to turn off one set of lights; he has a feeling they’ll either be too lazy or tired to do so later. There’s just enough light in the room now to make out outlines of furniture. Jongin tosses his phone on the bedside table, then waits for Kyungsoo to climb back into bed before Jongin straddles him and hugs him tightly. Kyungsoo acknowledges him, gently patting his butt and wrapping one arm around Jongin’s waist. Jongin speaks into the comfortable silence. 

“Hyungie.” Kyungsoo’s heart does a backflip. 

“Baby,” Kyungsoo replies, all low and comforting, and Jongin scoots back a little on Kyungsoo’s thighs to lower himself enough to touch Kyungsoo’s lips with his. They stay like that, with half-lidded eyes, just brushing each other’s lips, but not doing more than teasing. 

_ “Kiss me,”  _ Jongin whispers, the words transferring to Kyungsoo’s mouth. So Kyungsoo does, leaning forwards to press Jongin’s lips firmly against his. Soft, tender kisses are exchanged between them, unrushed and sweet. Kyungsoo gently licks and nibbles Jongin’s bottom lip, requesting entrance, and when Jongin acquiesces, he tastes like mint toothpaste and unspoken contentment. 

“Are you happy?” Kyungsoo whispers anyways after a few minutes of soft kissing. 

“So happy,” Jongin breathes, draping both his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck and leaning his forehead against Kyungsoo’s. “Always happy with you, hyung.”

“I love you,” Kyungsoo tells him.  _ “My shining star.”  _

“I love you, too.” Jongin suddenly tips to the side, pulling Kyungsoo to topple onto him with a surprised grunt. “You’re my smart hyungie.” 

“Okay,” Kyungsoo amiably agrees, laying his head against Jongin’s chest. “Yours.” They’re both silent for a spell, then Kyungsoo clears his throat a little. 

“Nini…” 

“Don’t say it,” Jongin pleads, but Kyungsoo was never one to avoid unwanted conversations. 

“I am leave soon.” The heaviness in Kyungsoo’s chest thickens as Jongin’s arms clasp tighter around his back. He doesn’t want to leave; doesn’t even know if he  _ can. _ Jongin is trembling slightly, and for a second, Kyungsoo’s worried that Jongin is on the verge of tears. But then he speaks up. 

“I know.” His voice is weak but steady. 

“I am so sorry,” Kyungsoo tells him, because he is sorry; sorry that Jongin will hurt all over again; sorry that he has to leave; sorry for himself because he would give anything to stay the whole summer with his Nini. 

“It’s not your fault.”

_ “You’ve changed,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers proudly, reaching upwards to cup Jongin’s cheek.  _ “You’re all grown up now.”  _

_ “I still yours,”  _ Jongin tells him, mumbling over his Korean pronunciation shyly. 

_ “Of course. Still my baby.”  _ Kyungsoo kisses Jongin’s chin.  _ “But you are more confident now,”  _ Kyungsoo observes, moving up to kiss Jongin’s cheek. Jongin’s arms loosen around Kyungsoo’s waist just a little.  _ “You are not so afraid.”  _ The other cheek now.  _ “You are stronger.”  _ Just a light press of lips to the tip of Jongin’s nose. It makes him scrunch his face up. 

“I don’t think so,” Jongin whispers. “I’m still scared.” His next question makes Kyungsoo’s heart crack in two at just the thought. “Hyung, what if you don’t--if you can’t come back?” 

_ “I will come back,”  _ Kyungsoo tells him firmly, brushing Jongin’s bangs back from his forehead. 

“But just what if,” Jongin begs him for a set-in-stone answer that Kyungsoo does not have. Inside, his mind is just as chaotic as Jongin’s. “What will you do?” 

_ “I will try again next year,”  _ Kyungsoo goes the practical route, brushing the pad of his thumb under Jongin’s eye just in case he’s crying invisible tears. He’s not. 

“I can’t wait a year to see you again,” Jongin tells him, voice high and panicked. “I want you with me  _ now.”  _

_ “And I, you.”  _ Kyungsoo cups Jongin’s face in his hands.  _ “Please don’t worry about this,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs to Jongin, praying that he’ll at least try and keep it out of his mind.  _ “You and I both have no say on this. So don’t worry.  _ You must… must… think about your dance. Not this,” Kyungsoo switches to English when Jongin shakes his head confusedly. “This not your problem.” 

“You are my problem,” Jongin insists, still as stubborn as ever. “I will worry. I’m going to miss you so much until you come back.” 

“I will miss you, too,” Kyungsoo’s heart aches.  _ “You have no idea.” _

“Hyung.” Jongin whispers, because he doesn’t have anything else to say. Well, he does, but he doesn’t even know where to begin. Or how to articulate it. 

_ “I am right here,”  _ Kyungsoo consoles him.  _ “And right here.”  _ Kyungsoo places his hand on Jongin’s heart.  _ “I will come back. You must be good for me and wait, okay?”  _

_ “I will,”  _ Jongin promises. 

_ “Be brave and strong for me, like you are right now.”  _

_ “Okay.”  _

_ “But it’s okay to be scared sometimes,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs against the smooth skin of Jongin’s cheek.  _ “Hyung is always here for you.”  _

“I’m gonna cry,” Jongin whimpers. 

“No.” Kyungsoo smiles a little. “Do not, baby.” 

“It’s your fault.” 

“How?” 

“I was doing fine until you got all sweet and mushy.” Jongin laughs shakily to ward away the tears. “I--I’m going to miss you. So much. I hate thinking about it. But I’ll work hard,” Jongin continues as Kyungsoo is trying to think of the right words. “I’ll work really hard for the show and at MDC. I think… I think I can do it,” he whispers. “But please, please come back to me really soon.”

“Good boy.” Kyungsoo leans in and slots his lips against Jongin’s. “Good boy,” he whispers again when Jongin’s tense form relaxes under him and slips into the natural, relaxed slide of lips on lips. The kiss slowly shifts into something more carnal and Jongin lets out a small, soft moan when Kyungsoo bites at his lips and kisses him deeper. 

“I want you,” Jongin whispers as Kyungsoo works his t-shirt off of Jongin’s body, exposing miles of defined muscles rippling under tanned skin. 

_ “You’re beautiful,”  _ Kyungsoo replies before settling back on top of Jongin, pulling their chests flush together. Jongin gasps and revels in the feeling of their warm bodies pressed to each other. 

“No marks,” Jongin whimpers as Kyungsoo’s mouth attaches to his neck and he begins suckling. Soft exhales from the younger are the only sound that fills the room while Kyungsoo methodically traces all the curves and lines of Jongin with his tongue, kissing wet and open-mouthed, leaving a cooling trail of saliva in his wake that makes Jongin shiver with anticipation and sensory pleasure. 

_ “Pretty,” _ Kyungsoo whispers against the skin of Jongin’s flat, toned stomach inches above the waistband of his boxers. 

“I--” Jongin cranes his neck to glance at Kyungsoo and laughs quietly. “Okay.” The elder nips at Jongin’s skin while Jongin threads his fingers into Kyungsoo’s short, cropped hair and hums. “What if I have to dance shirtless, hyung?” His voice is a little breathy. 

_ “I’m not leaving marks,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers, fingers tracing the soft skin gently.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin whispers, hot and heavy arousal pooling in his stomach at the feeling of teeth grazing sensitive skin and the tease of what could happen if Kyungsoo just dipped a bit lower. 

“Perfect.” Kyungsoo pulls back a little to admire his boyfriend. 

“Come here,” Jongin begs, so Kyungsoo moves upwards to connect their lips again. “I wanna try,” he mumbles, which Kyungsoo finds absolutely adorable. 

_ “Cute,”  _ he murmurs before rolling over and tugging Jongin to brace himself over Kyungsoo.  _ “Right here.”  _ He turns his head to the side to give Jongin more space, sighing when Jongin places one gentle hand on Kyungsoo’s waist and leans down to suckle at his neck.  _ “Gently,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers while Jongin works on him slowly. His boyfriend is shy but generous, mouthing insistently at his little patch of skin, nipping and sucking and licking to get blood to rise to the surface. Kyungsoo trembles a little under his care. 

_ “Did you leave a mark?” _ Kyungsoo asks, somewhat exasperated as Jongin withdraws some to squint at his handiwork in the dark. 

“Yeah.” Jongin laughs and flops down onto Kyungsoo shyly, burying his face in Kyungsoo’s chest. Kyungsoo sighs and touches the spot on his neck, taking the time to choose his next words carefully. 

_ “You can kiss without leaving marks, baby.”  _ Kyungsoo cards his fingers through Jongin’s hair.  _ “It’s not always necessary.”  _

“They’re pretty,” Jongin whispers just loud enough for Kyungsoo to pick up. Kyungsoo’s mouth twitches for just a fraction of a second. “But I’m sorry,” Jongin adds, slightly abashed. 

“Is okay.” Kyungsoo relents. “I can teach you how.” 

“Okay,” Jongin agrees, slowly starting to let his hands explore under Kyungsoo’s shirt.

“What next?” Kyungsoo asks him teasingly, jolting in surprise when Jongin’s fingers brush over one of his nipples. “Oh--” Jongin, intrigued by Kyungsoo’s reaction, does it again, this time gently pinching as well. Kyungsoo tenses for a second, then relaxes and shudders subtly. 

“Is this okay?” Jongin whispers into Kyungsoo’s chest. 

“Sit up,” Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin does so that Kyungsoo can shuck his shirt over his head before lying back down. The elder’s hand slowly fists into Jongin’s hair and gently directs him to where his fingers are already playing. 

_ “Make me feel good, Nini.”  _ Jongin’s eyes flutter at Kyungsoo’s low register and he slowly lowers his head to lick over Kyungsoo’s nipple. The effect is immediate; Kyungsoo shivers and twitches a little against the sheets. So Jongin does it again, and then he closes his entire mouth around the bud and sucks gently. Kyungsoo doesn’t moan or gasp or anything of that sort, but his exhales are long and heavy and his chest arches into Jongin’s hot, wet mouth. Jongin’s other hand moves to play with Kyungsoo’s other nipple, pinching and rubbing so as to not leave any good feelings unexplored. 

_ “Good boy,”  _ Kyungsoo doles out praise easily, validating Jongin, making him feel loved and taken care of even while Jongin exerts a tiny bit of dominance over him. Jongin keeps his face pressed against Kyungsoo’s chest, peppering dry kisses when he switches over to the other nipple. Kyungsoo hums and sighs, letting Jongin know how much he enjoys it. 

“Was that okay?” Jongin whispers when he finally withdraws, shyly hovering over Kyungsoo’s chest and avoiding eye contact. Kyungsoo brings him down for a few chaste kisses. 

“Good,” Kyungsoo assures him. It’s too dark to confirm, but Kyungsoo can imagine the timid, happy blush spreading across Jongin’s face.  _ “So pretty, so perfect.”  _

“I liked that I made you feel good,” Jongin mumbles, softly drawing indiscriminate patterns over Kyungsoo’s chest now. “But I think I like when you--you take care of me more.” 

_ “Greedy,”  _ Kyungsoo admonishes him teasingly, and Jongin burrows into the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck embarrassedly, smiling against his skin. 

“I thought you liked taking care of me.” 

_ “I love it,”  _ Kyungsoo assures Jongin, patting Jongin’s butt a couple of times to make him giggle.  _ “I love you. When you get all worked up and needy. It’s beautiful.”  _

“I--” Jongin blushes. 

_ “It’s okay,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers into Jongin’s hair.  _ “I got you. I’ll make you feel so good. You’re so perfect and amazing, you know?”  _ The younger slowly rolls over and Kyungsoo’s hand trails along his side before tracing a few fingers over the bulge in Jongin’s boxers.  _ “Did you like it that much?”  _ Kyungsoo whispers. Jongin flushes pink.  _ “Or is my baby sensitive to everything?”  _

“Touch,” Jongin whispers when Kyungsoo’s hand does nothing but hover over his clothed erection, exerting the barest bit of pressure. “Touch, please, hyung.” 

_ “That’s so pretty.”  _ Kyungsoo squeezes once, causing Jongin to sigh, then pulls his hand back and leans down to kiss Jongin. 

“Enough foreplay,” Jongin begs, but Kyungsoo is relentless with chasing after Jongin’s lips. Jongin won’t ever say no to kisses, but he wriggles on the bed, searching for some semblance of friction, frustrated when Kyungsoo’s hand doesn’t make another move. 

_ “Just kiss me,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers soothingly.  _ “Focus on me.”  _ So Jongin does, doing his best to ignore everything but the feel of Kyungsoo’s plush lips against his, which doesn’t turn out to be excruciatingly difficult. Kyungsoo keeps him trapped in a bubble of gentle licks and kisses, making him almost forget the low, thrumming, unfulfilled pleasure in his gut. And when Jongin relaxes fully, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo’s neck and meeting his lips eagerly, that’s when Kyungsoo touches him again, cupping his erection and stroking it outside of his boxers. Jongin yelps and moans into the kiss, spurred back into restlessness. 

“Hyung,” he twitches in sensitivity as Kyungsoo rubs him firmly. “Hyung, oh my God--” Jongin’s hips move instinctually, meeting Kyungsoo’s hand, circling to search for more and more friction. “Off,” Jongin whines, tugging at the waistband of his boxers on his own. “Please--” Kyungsoo’s head dips to take a nipple into his mouth and Jongin keens, arching up off the bed in want. Kyungsoo puts all his focus and attention into Jongin, feeding him pleasure until Jongin begins whimpering with every movement. Part of him is showing off to Jongin, making sure he knows just how good Kyungsoo can make sex for him, but the other part of him--the one that is achingly in love--only wants Jongin in this moment. 

_ “Beautiful,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers, nipping at the red, sensitive nipple to make Jongin arch and let out a choked sound of pleasure. Jongin lifts his hips helpfully as Kyungsoo slides Jongin’s boxers off and promptly returns to stroking him. 

“God, Kyungsoo,” Jongin’s eyes slip shut and his head tips back a little in ecstasy, occasionally letting loose little whimpers of pleasure. 

_ “What do you want?”  _ Kyungsoo asks, pressing his thumb into Jongin’s frenulum. Jongin stutters and whines, unable to bear the pressure building in his gut when Kyungsoo begins rubbing circles into the uber-sensitive spot.  _ “Are you going to cum, baby?”  _ Kyungsoo teases, feeling an egotistical swell of pride rise up in his chest.  _ “Going to cum from just a hand on your pretty cock? We haven’t done anything yet, really…”  _

“Don’t wanna,” Jongin thrashes, but Kyungsoo’s hand and fingers are insistent, swirling over the head to gather pre-cum and returning to teasing that one spot with every pass up and down his shaft. “Don’t wanna cum from this, hyung, stop…” 

_ “Control yourself,”  _ Kyungsoo chides, watching Jongin’s face in the dark and biting his smile back. Jongin whines, torn between orgasm and the hidden promise of getting fucked. 

“Hyung,” Jongin begs, twitching away from Kyungsoo’s clever fingers. “Please, please, I don’t want to cum right now.” 

_ “If you cum, I won’t fuck you,”  _ Kyungsoo tells Jongin just to rile him up even more.  _ “You’re so easy, baby. Look at you. You’re a gorgeous mess right now.”  _ His words make Jongin whimper and groan in frustration, holding back tears as he furiously fights the ball of pressure in his gut. 

“I can’t,” Jongin grips the sheets in his hands and moans brokenly. “I’m gonna explode, hyung,  _ please--”  _

_ “You gonna cum?”  _ Kyungsoo taunts, rubbing the pad of his thumb into the slit of Jongin’s cock which is weeping pre-cum.  _ “You’re so wet, baby, so desperate for cock, look at you--”  _ Jongin sobs as his orgasm is ripped out of him, arching up off the bed, cumming all over himself and Kyungsoo’s hand. 

“Please,” Jongin is begging before he even comes down from his high. “Kyungsoo, I want… want you,” 

_ “Greedy,”  _ Kyungsoo hisses, bending over to kiss Jongin harshly.  _ “You just came, and you’re asking to get fucked?”  _

“I didn’t mean to cum, I’m, I wanted you to… to fuck me,” Jongin struggles to explain himself and Kyungsoo delights in it. This; this is what he wanted; Jongin all needy and desperate, panicked at the thought of not getting to feel Kyungsoo buried deep inside of him. And Kyungsoo also knows that at this point in the game, Jongin is starting to border on worried and nervous. He’s probably anxious, darling that he is, that Kyungsoo doesn’t want him anymore. 

“Hyung, I’m sorry,” Jongin apologizes, reaching out for Kyungsoo. 

_ “Easy, easy,”  _ Kyungsoo hushes him, pressing a kiss to Jongin’s forehead.  _ “I’m right here, not going anywhere.”  _

“I want you,” Jongin tries to tell him, but Kyungsoo already knows, knows with every fiber of his being. 

_ “Will you be a good boy for hyung and cum again?”  _ Kyungsoo asks. Jongin is nodding before he even finishes the sentence, before he even understands anything beyond ‘good boy’.  _ “Cum on my cock, baby? You want that?”  _

“Want it,” Jongin echoes, reaching down to cup Kyungsoo’s erection. 

_ “Yeah, you do.”  _ Kyungsoo groans at the much-needed stimulation from Jongin’s eager hand.  _ “Fuck, you’re so goddamn cute, just wanna wreck you.”  _

“Do it,” Jongin whispers, so Kyungsoo reaches for the bottle of lube in the bedside drawer, exhaling heavily while Jongin continues to stroke him. 

_ “How do you want it?”  _ Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin opens his legs a little, lying on his back as is. Kyungsoo smirks at the shape of Jongin in the dark, spread out and eager.  _ “Beautiful.”  _ A finger traces the puckered rim of Jongin’s hole, teasing, lining the outside with lube, then pushes in. Jongin sighs at the sensation, eagerly meeting Kyungsoo’s lips when the elder bends over to kiss him while fingering him. 

“Two,” Jongin begs, so Kyungsoo adds another, indulging Jongin’s sense of urgency (partially because he can’t wait either). Jongin whines when Kyungsoo crooks his fingers, searching for the rough little bump along his walls, then gasps when Kyungsoo locates it from memory. “There--” 

_ “I know, I got you.”  _ Kyungsoo’s fingers press insistently at his prostate and never leave it, rubbing small circles around it, teasing it to watch Jongin’s mouth fall open and hear him moan.  _ “God, you sound so beautiful, Nini.”  _

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin moans, and if it was intentional to rile Kyungsoo up, it works immediately; a growl rises up from Kyungsoo’s chest. 

_ “Mine.”  _ He inserts a third finger into Jongin and scissors his fingers a little to stretch him out.  _ “All mine.”  _

“Yours,” Jongin tells him in between whimpers. “Please, Kyungsoo, I want it.” 

“Want what?” Kyungsoo smirks.  _ “You should know to use your words, baby.”  _

“Want your cock,” Jongin whispers, blushing a little. 

_ “Good boy.”  _ Kyungsoo tugs his own underwear off and sighs quietly in frustration when he realizes he needs to get a condom. 

“No,” Jongin begs when Kyungsoo makes to leave the bed. “I don’t want it.” 

_ “I think we should--”  _

“We’ve done it raw like three hundred times in the past week, please,” Jongin forcibly tugs Kyungsoo back to his position. “Please, I can’t wait anymore.” 

_ “That’s what you said last time, too,”  _ Kyungsoo tells him amusedly as he spreads lube over his cock and sighs as he strokes himself a few times.  _ “Shit.”  _

“That’s hot,” Jongin whispers, greedily taking in the outline of Kyungsoo fisting his own cock. “Fuck, hyung, that’s so hot…” Spurred on by Jongin’s comments, Kyungsoo tilts his head back and poses just a little; arching his back, breathing heavily into the dark silence. Jongin gasps, unable to tear his eyes away. 

_ “Enjoying the view?”  _ Kyungsoo chuckles, feeling Jongin’s heavy gaze rake over him.  _ “Wanna watch me masturbate or get fucked?”  _

“Fuck me.” Jongin’s answer is immediate, hooking both his legs up with his arms and holding himself open for Kyungsoo. The temptation is too great; Kyungsoo scoots over and lines himself up against Jongin’s entrance. Kyungsoo has to grit his teeth and muster up every bit of his self-control so as to not immediately begin thrusting when he slides in. 

_ “Fuck, fuck, you’re so tight.”  _ Kyungsoo groans.  _ “God, I can feel you trying to suck me in. You feel so good, baby, baby… ”  _ Jongin moans at being filled up with Kyungsoo’s cock and at his boyfriend’s heavy praise that leaves Jongin all tingly and warm. It’s the best feeling in the world, being wanted, being loved and needed and cared for. There’s really nobody else for Jongin but Kyungsoo. 

“Fuck me,” Jongin tells Kyungsoo once he’s adjusted. “Please.” Kyungsoo obeys, promptly sliding out till only the head of his cock props Jongin open, then pushes back in with a smooth, powerful movement of his hips, causing Jongin to twitch and whine. Kyungsoo brackets either side of Jongin’s head with his arms, occasionally dropping a kiss onto Jongin’s lips while his thrusts rock Jongin’s world. Jongin, who had flagged a little because of orgasm, rapidly hardens again with the internal stimulation, so good and heady like it always is. He gasps with every thrust in and out, clutching onto Kyungsoo, pulling him closer like he isn’t already buried to the hilt inside Jongin. 

_ “Just want to feel you,”  _ Kyungsoo mutters. He fucks Jongin at a leisurely pace, relishing in the feeling of their coupling without worrying about the end. Jongin remains unhurried as well, sighing with pleasure as Kyungsoo offers him the most exquisite of feelings. 

“Remember--ah--this,” Jongin murmurs in between little moans, “When you--go--back.” Kyungsoo groans, grabbing Jongin and kissing him deeply. Jongin wraps his legs around Kyungsoo’s waist, pulling him to grind deeper into Jongin. 

_ “I’ll come back soon,”  _ Kyungsoo tells the boy underneath him, who whimpers and kisses Kyungsoo sloppily.  _ “So we won’t have to--fuck--try and remember for too long.”  _

“Yes, please,” Jongin whispers, and Kyungsoo presses a kiss to his forehead. “Or I can--ah--visit you.” At this, Kyungsoo laughs, a little breathless but full of lightheartedness. 

_ “Talking about vacation plans in the middle of sex?”  _

“I don’t know,” Jongin laughs along with Kyungsoo, whose steady rhythm has been broken. “I’ll miss you, fuck,” Jongin hiccups when Kyungsoo begins his thrusts again, this time with more urgency. 

_ “What should we do?”  _

“What’s pretty?  _ Ah--”  _

“You,” Kyungsoo murmurs.  _ “Han River, Cheonggyecheon, everywhere. Anywhere with you.”  _

“SM Entertainment,” Jongin gasps, still giggling at their mid-sex conversation. “We can--ah--try and get a glimpse at SHINee… ” 

_ “Aish, there you go again, talking about Taemin while you’re with me,”  _ Kyungsoo teases, and Jongin finds out it is extremely difficult to laugh and moan at the same time. He had no idea sex could be so fun with the right person. That is, until the blunt head of Kyungsoo’s cock strikes his prostate, and Jongin’s amusement is forgotten in lieu of crying out in ecstasy. 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin’s voice is high-pitched and strung-out; he sounds drunk on pleasure and being fucked. “Right there, oh fuck, please.” 

_ “I got you,”  _ Kyungsoo is all business now that he can feel himself starting to get close. Still, he grits his teeth and thrusts deep and hard into Jongin, wanting them to cum at the same time.  _ “Come on, baby, will you cum again for me? Cum with hyung’s cock in you?”  _

“Ah, God…” Jongin whines when Kyungsoo reaches down to stroke Jongin’s hard, neglected cock. “I’m so close,” Jongin murmurs. 

“Cum with me.” The low register of Kyungsoo’s tone when he speaks English makes Jongin keen. 

“I’m gonna cum--” Jongin throws his head back and with a sigh of Kyungsoo’s name, cums for the second time that night. Kyungsoo groans when he feels Jongin’s walls clenching tightly around his cock and with a final thrust, paints Jongin’s inner walls white with his own cum. Jongin gasps at the feeling of warm liquid filling him up, trembling and holding onto Kyungsoo tightly. 

“Jonginie,” Kyungsoo murmurs, feeling soft and protective after they both catch their breath. 

“Ksoo,” Jongin’s voice is thick and sleepy. “Love you.” 

“I love you, too.” Kyungsoo kisses Jongin’s forehead and gets one in return from the drowsy, blissed out boy laying under him. He gingerly slides out of Jongin--his boyfriend shudders at the feeling--and glances at the cum slowly seeping out of Jongin’s hole. 

_ “Gonna get you a plug so you can keep my cum in you,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs, sliding out of bed on wobbly legs and feeling his way through the dark hotel room to Jongin’s suitcase, then into the bathroom to get a wet towel.  _ “And I can fuck it back into you later tonight.”  _

“Another round?” Jongin remains splayed out on the bed. The bed dips under Kyungsoo’s weight when he returns and Jongin shivers when Kyungsoo inserts the plug easily because of how stretched out he is. “I’m about to pass out,” Jongin whines, a pile of dead weight as Kyungsoo cleans them up as best he can in the darkness before tossing the towel carelessly onto the nightstand. 

_ “Sleep now,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers, scooting Jongin away from the wet spot on the bed and cradling him into his arms.  _ “We can play later.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi~ Such a long chapter, but I really loved this update :3  
>  So it looks like we'll probably be updating 1-2 times per week as the norm? Thank you for diligently reading every chapter! We have so much planned out and I get more and more excited to write it all out as we continue <3  
>  Love you guys so much; thank you as always.  
>  Also, fun fact; I can't drink coffee unless it's 90% sugar and milk like Jongin likes it. And I exclusively drink iced coffee. Tea is good though. :3
> 
> Some people have to learn to lock their workstations at all times the hard way 😈. Have you been to a fan cafe event? Jongin lived his best live for sure!
> 
> Thank you for reading this longer-than-average update and staying with us. We are aware that each arc of this story is the length of a book so we are so grateful for every single reader who follows us on this journey that about as far from being done as it could be~
> 
> We are looking forward to your comments and see you next time <3.


	20. heart been broke so many times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Italic_ speech is in Korean.

Jongin’s return to filming is… a little nerve-wracking, to say the least. He groans internally as Makenzie, Jenna, and Alan are called to step out of the line of 16 dancers as part of the Bottom 6 for that week. Jenna is saved right on the spot by the judges, then they watch anxiously backstage while Makenzie performs her ‘Claire de Lune’ contemporary solo. 

“I think they made it worse with the change,” Jongin mutters as Makenzie runs backstage and into Jongin’s waiting arms. “Cause now we have to make it through a whole ass dance before we know if you made it through or not.” 

“It’ll be fine,” Makenzie dismisses the thought, but her eyes are still clouded with worry. “Let’s just focus on the performance right now. Bro, that’s a LOW-cut shirt,” she tells Alan as he finishes his solo and comes backstage as well. Jongin’s eyes scan over his friend and nod in agreement. 

“Thank you for the encouragement.” Alan wipes sweat off of his forehead. “Really appreciate it.” 

“Anytime.” Makenzie turns to Jongin. “Rehearsal?” 

“Yeah, let’s.” They find a generally secluded corner to run through their routine a few times. “I hope the episode comes out well,” Jongin remarks, marking body roll after body roll to Makenzie’s breathless 8-counts. 

“With the, uhh, first love interview and all that?” 

“Yeah.” Jongin pulls Makenzie close. “Did you seriously say I look like your celebrity crush?” 

“You kinda do!” Makenzie looks up mischievously and Jongin lays the whole of his hand over her face. “Hello? My makeup?” 

“You’ll live.” Jongin cracks a small smile despite the bundle of nerves in his stomach. 

“At least  _ I  _ didn’t fanboy on national television--” 

“They asked me my first love, and I don’t lie!” Jongin becomes petulant. “Lee Taemin, my first and last love…” Jongin’s smile begins to grow just thinking about his idol. “My one and only.” 

“I’m telling your boyfriend you said all of this.” 

“He doesn’t care. He buys me Taemin’s albums and posters.” Jongin grows complacent. “He knows he’s second to Taeminnie.” 

“I should have never brought the topic up.” 

“He’s so cuteeee,” Jongin groans while walking through choreography next to Makenzie. “He’s such a good dancer. His singing has improved SO much.” 

“Okay, Kai.” 

“Gah, he’s just adorable.” Jongin’s smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. Makenzie rolls her eyes good-naturedly. 

“You’re supposed to be sexy right now. Stay sexy.” 

“Taeminnie…” 

“Sexy!” 

“Okay, okay.” Jongin refocuses on rehearsal until both of them have to change clothes and get ready to perform. 

“Is that heavy?” Makenzie nods to the fake 1930s camera that Jongin holds to be used as a prop for their flapper concept. Jongin scrutinizes the plastic prop. 

“Nah.” He hands it off to Makenzie, who brings it up to her face and aims it at Jongin playfully. He gives her a finger heart. “This is funny.” He reaches up to stroke the one upright feather on Makenzie’s headdress. “But you look in character, so it’s fine.” 

“The costumes are kinda cheesy.” 

“Finally someone said it,” Jongin groans quietly so that they don’t interrupt Cat Deeley’s introduction of their performance out on the stage. “But this is okay.” He motions to his dress shirt and suspenders. “Definitely don’t mind this.” 

“Mhm. You look underdressed next to me.” Jongin opens his mouth to reply, but then they’re given the cue, and he squeezes Makenzie’s hand briefly before they get in position. 

The hip-hop dance this week starts out with Makenzie pretending to be camera shy for Jongin as her photographer, then amps up the tension as the music changes. And the choreography--much to Kyungsoo’s amusement when Jongin had practiced it back at the hotel one night--consists of body roll after body roll, hip thrust after hip thrust, lots of grinding, and long, sensual touches. Jongin doesn’t get shy while performing, but afterwards, most practices and rehearsals ended with Jongin’s embarrassed blush and Makenzie’s teasing laugh. Still, the choreography is one of Jongin’s favorites so far from the show, and he rides the high of endorphins through the entire stage, letting muscle memory carry him through the steps and focusing on his facial expressions and finding the camera. There’s a huge round of applause waiting for the two when the music fades out. Jongin’s shirt hangs almost completely open and his suspenders have been ripped off of his shoulders--all part of the choreography, but he can feel himself getting shy when they make their way to Cat for the judge’s comments. 

“Nigel?” Everyone turns to the judge, and Jongin bursts into laughter with everyone else as the man waves his hands around speechlessly. 

“Kai, I can’t believe you said at the beginning of the performance that you were going to try and make Makenzie sexy,” Nigel finally puts words back into his mouth, and Jongin’s cheeks heat up. “You didn’t have to try very hard, did you?” 

“No,” Jongin ducks his head shyly and shakes it at the ground. 

“I mean, that was the sexiest performance we’ve had all evening,” Nigel declares, and Jongin doesn’t know whether to laugh or turn bright red. Makenzie pokes her fingers into Jongin’s side, teasing him silently. Jongin pokes her back. 

“Alrighty, let’s hear it from Mary,” Cat requests. 

“Kai--who knew you had it in you with all of those hip grinds?” Everyone’s just out to get him today, it seems. At least Kyungsoo will like the episode when it comes out. “They were amazing, and Makenzie, I know Kai is supposed to be bringing the sexy persona out of you, but you take one step on that stage and you can seduce everybody in this room.” Jongin’s heart swells at all of the positive feedback and the deafening cheers from the audience. He had missed this so, so much. They wait and pull faces at the camera while Cat goes over her spiel on how to text or call in to vote for both of them, then are hurried backstage. 

“Bruh, you’re completely red,” Makenzie pats both of Jongin’s cheeks teasingly, and Jongin cups his own sweaty hands over them in embarrassment. “Good job! Another week down.” 

“Hopefully you’ll be safe,” Jongin tells her. “Maybe performances from this week also influence the judges’ final decision in who to keep. If that’s the case, we won’t have to worry too much, I don’t think.” 

“Maybe.” Makenzie bites her lip. “Let’s just see.” There’s only one more pair of dancers who perform after them, then Alan and Makenzie make their way back on stage with the three other Bottom 6 dancers to hear the results. As soon as Jongin knows that Alan and Makenzie are both safe, he breathes a massive sigh of relief. 

“Good job,” he pulls both of them into a hug. “You both did amazing.”

“You did, too,” Makenzie tells him, so quiet that only he can hear and nobody else. “I know this time was difficult.” 

“It’s fine. It was hip-hop, I liked the routine.” 

“And you did awesome.” Makenzie gently pushes him when they break apart. “You should go now.” 

“Okay. Yeah, I… I need to go.” Jongin backs away. “I’ll… see you tomorrow for practice?” 

“Yeah.” Makenzie gives him a small, knowing smile. “Tell him good-bye from me.” 

Jongin is wrapped in Kyungsoo’s arms the second he returns home. Never mind the heavy stage makeup, or the thin sheen of sweat over his entire body, or the fact that Kyungsoo was holding a stack of neatly folded shirts. He pulls Jongin into his arms and holds him tightly. 

_ “Filming? How was it?”  _ Kyungsoo asks, and Jongin leans his cheek against Kyungsoo’s shoulder, breathing in his comforting scent. 

“Really amazing. I passed again. Kenzie, too. Missed being on stage.” Jongin smiles a little. “Super sexy.” 

_ “Can’t wait to see it.”  _ Kyungsoo’s hand trails up and down the back of Jongin’s dress shirt.  _ “I’m sure you did perfect.”  _

“Yeah.” Jongin pulls back a little to look at Kyungsoo, who gazes at Jongin with tenderness and sadness in his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that,” Jongin murmurs, feeling his throat close up. 

“Like what?” 

“Like all puppy-eyed. Imma cry.” 

_ “I just don’t want to go.”  _ Kyungsoo’s arms tighten around Jongin’s waist.  _ “Don’t want to leave you again.”  _

“I don’t want you to leave, either.” Jongin’s hands rub large circles over Kyungsoo’s back. He swallows hard. “Hyung, come back soon.” 

“Yes. I will.” Kyungsoo tugs on the collar of Jongin’s shirt so he bends at the waist just a little to meet Kyungsoo’s lips in a chaste kiss. “Shower?” Kyungsoo asks softly. “Have to leave soon.” 

“Okay.” 

_ “Got everything?”  _ Jongdae asks when Jongin and Kyungsoo toss the one suitcase that Kyungsoo had brought into the trunk and slide into the backseat of the car, with Kyungsoo clutching his carry-on backpack. 

_ “Yeah.”  _ The car ride is silent; Jongin and Kyungsoo’s hands remain intertwined at all times, and Kyungsoo purposely sits in the middle seat to lean his head against Jongin’s shoulder on the way to the airport. Sehun sits shotgun, glancing in Jongdae’s rearview mirror occasionally to sneak glances at the two lovebirds. 

_ “I think we’ll just drop you off at the entrance?”  _ Jongdae asks. “Jongini, do you want to go all the way to security with him?” 

“I--” Jongin looks to Kyungsoo, who shrugs, a clear indication of indifference. “I guess it’s more convenient to just drop him off,” he says quietly. 

“It’s not a big deal if you want to go inside with him. I’ll just circle around the road a few times and pick you back up.” 

Jongin nods softly. “Okay. Thank you, Dae-hyung.” 

“Yeah.” 

Jongdae and Sehun say their goodbyes at the drop off, each offering their own hugs. 

_ “Take care of Nini for me,”  _ Kyungsoo tells Jongdae, who nods reassuringly. 

_ “Take care of yourself. Let me know if you need anything. Good luck with everything.”  _

_ “I will.”  _ Kyungsoo turns to Sehun, who holds out one arm. 

“Take care of Nini.” 

“He’ll be okay.” 

“Take care of yourself.” 

“I’ll be okay, too.” Sehun cracks a smile. “Hopefully we don’t need to have any more secret conversations.” 

“No. Hope not,” Kyungsoo smiles as well. “Bye, Sehunnie.” 

“Come back soon, hyung. Jong, just text us when you’re back outside, yeah?” 

“Okay.” Jongin tugs Kyungsoo’s backpack out of his hands, slings it over onto his own shoulder, then reaches out for Kyungsoo’s hand as they walk into the airport together. When they reach the security gate, Kyungsoo glances anxiously up at Jongin, who seriously looks like he is on the verge of tears. 

“I’m not gonna cry,” Jongin whispers even as the tiniest little tear rolls down his cheek. He wipes it away angrily, and Kyungsoo’s heart breaks. 

_ “Baby…”  _ Jongin lets himself get pulled into a rib-crushing hug.  _ “I’ll come back for you as soon as I can. I love you so, so much, more than anything.”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs above the general din of airport noise.  _ “I’m sorry.”  _

“I’m s-sorry, too.” Jongin gets himself under control. “When you come back, we have to… to find an apartment together…” 

_ “We will.”  _

“And you promised we can take a trip together.” 

_ “Let’s do it.”  _

“And you… you have to bring me more SHINee albums and chocolate.” 

_ “I’ll mail them to you, okay?”  _ Kyungsoo smiles gently and reaches up to cup Jongin’s face in his hands.  _ “We’ll have more voice call dates and movie nights. How does that sound?”  _

“Okay,” Jongin agrees. “Hyung, make sure you… get lots of sleep and take breaks. Even if Junmyeon-sunbae is a pain in the ass.” Kyungsoo laughs despite the dread in his chest. 

_ “Alright. Make sure you eat,”  _ Kyungsoo jabs Jongin in the heart.  _ “You must eat for me. And dance hard. And tell me about how your classes are going at MDC every day.”  _

“Okay.” 

_ “For your show, keep working hard. You’ve already gotten so far.”  _

“Yeah,” Jongin agrees, nodding to Kyungsoo’s words. Then he sobers again. “Hyung, come back soon.” 

_ “Sweetheart, I will, as soon as I can,”  _ Kyungsoo promises.  _ “I just need to defend my master’s thesis and receive my visa, alright?”  _

“You’ll get it.” 

_ “Let’s hope so.”  _ Kyungsoo ruffles Jongin’s hair when he pouts.  _ “My beautiful little star. My Nini.”  _

_ “I love you.”  _

_ “I love you, too--what are you doing?”  _ Kyungsoo laughs when Jongin’s hands dip into Kyungsoo’s pockets and fumble around for something.  _ “Ah, of course.”  _

“I’m taking this.” Jongin triumphantly pockets the piece of chocolate that he found. 

_ “Alright.”  _ Kyungsoo smiles.  _ “Come. Kiss me.”  _ Jongin touches his lips to Kyungsoo’s in a long, slow, tender kiss.  _ “Be a good boy,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers when they break apart. Jongin nods. 

“I’ll miss you so much. Thank you for surprising me,” Jongin hugs him tightly one last time, then reluctantly pulls away. “I love you.” He stands there, watching forlornly as Kyungsoo reluctantly crosses into security and waves at Jongin. Jongin gives him a small wave back, the piece of chocolate still in his hand, golden bracelet flashing on his wrist. Then he turns away to text Jongdae to pick him up. 

“Let’s play a game,” Eric suggests suddenly. His words get half-lost in Sehun’s mouth since they’re in the middle of a very heated kiss in which Sehun has successfully pinned the dancer under him, but they’re clear enough to make Sehun pull back. 

“Hmm? This not enough for you?” Sehun wriggles a little against Eric’s waist, shifting the layers of fabric and causing them to rub against Eric’s half-hardness. “Feels like you’re enjoying it, though.” 

“Makes it more fun,” Eric murmurs, pulling Sehun back down into another lazy, languid kiss. They’ve been making out for at least thirty minutes now. At this point, Sehun wouldn’t mind moving on, but as Eric had aptly put it:

have practice soon 

but if u wanna come eat face we can. 

So Sehun had excused himself from Jongdae’s clutches in search of a long, solid makeout session with plenty of rolling around. So far, Eric had delivered. 

“Let’s hear it, then,” Sehun acquiesces; after all, he’s never been one to turn down a little bit of experimentation. 

“You know the sex shop a few blocks away?” 

“No,” Sehun says honestly. 

“There’s a sex shop a few blocks away.” 

“Okay.” 

“Let’s go and pick something to wear out for each other.” 

“I like presents,” Sehun murmurs, letting his hands wander inside Eric’s shirt and run hungrily over the outline of hardened abs. Eric shifts and arches just a little into Sehun’s touch. 

“And--first to moan--has to wear what the other got them.” Eric stifles a little moan when Sehun brushes over his nipples. 

“Then you just lost,” Sehun teases, rubbing the pad of his thumb in circles over the bud. 

“Let me up. The game hasn’t started yet.” Eric forcibly upends Sehun, who topples into the covers good naturedly. 

“Whatever you say, dude.” 

“I see ‘dude’ is growing on you.” Eric waits until Sehun sits up before he meets his eyes challengingly. “Let’s set some rules.” 

“I’m a bad boy, I don’t follow rules.” Eric ignores the cheesy jab. 

“No touching under clothes and nothing under the belt.” 

“That’s fine.” Sehun smirks. “I can work with that.” Eric leans in; Sehun stays stock still until he can pick out the individual flecks of gold in Eric’s eyes. “Your eyes are pretty,” Sehun states. 

“Thank you.” Eric’s breath is hot on Sehun’s cheek. “You’re kinda hot.” 

“Thank you.” 

“I’m gonna kiss you now.” 

“Ok.” Eric kisses him, slow and sensual. Quickly, Sehun realizes that Eric definitely knew what he was going for. The kiss in question is so unhurried that if it were anybody else, Sehun probably would have been bored to death--but it’s Eric, and he knows exactly what he’s doing. The kiss thrums with the tease of something more; with each languid lick into Sehun’s mouth, Eric presses them closer together measuredly, kissing just hard enough to remind Sehun what he’s capable of, but not enough to be physically satisfying. And Sehun falls prey to it like he has for the past couple of weeks. Each time he tries to speed things up and take control the way he wants to, Eric pulls away just a little so Sehun chases after him, then resumes his snail’s pace kissing. 

“Dude,” Sehun hisses after the third time, but he receives no reply; just a patient, heavy-lidded flutter of golden-brown irises before Eric touches his lips to Sehun’s for the umpteenth time that afternoon. They kiss without touching each other, so that only their mouths move against each other ever so slowly. And the lack of physical contact only forces more of Sehun’s attention onto Eric’s mouth, which is nibbling on his bottom lip. A sudden graze of teeth and a pull makes Sehun shiver, perhaps unconsciously. Eric lets his lip go and resumes his deep, sensual kisses. Sehun can’t help it. A small sigh of unsatisfaction rises from his chest and falls in between them. Eric chuckles. 

“I win.” 

“Is that… a… werewolf knot thing?” Eric muses while Sehun examines a bright pink dildo that is most definitely not of humanoid form. 

“Iunno.” Sehun squints at the sex toy. “It’s very interesting.” 

“You wanna get it?” 

“I’m good.” Sehun carefully places the dildo back on the shelf. “Let’s go look at the lingerie.” 

“Why? You’re not gonna get to buy it.” Eric still follows him casually though. 

“I wanna see you in this.” Sehun takes a navy blue lace garter set with matching panties off the rack and shoves it towards Eric shamelessly with zero qualms. 

“You wish.” Eric takes the set and puts it back on the rack. “I’ll get you this.” Eric tosses a pair of skin-tight latex briefs towards Sehun, who catches them and scrutinizes them carefully. “Then watch you squirm while I tease the shit out of you. Maybe I’ll even get the cuffs again.” 

“Huh.” Sehun’s mouth quirks up to the side as he considers the briefs. “I should’ve expected you were a latex and leather dude.” 

“I don’t see you showing me any billion dollar ideas,” Eric jabs at Sehun. “Lace? How mundane is that?

“Chill, cutie.” Sehun chuckles as Eric stalks towards him. “Oh, we can do this,” Sehun murmurs, meeting Eric’s eyes with a flash of competitiveness. And just like that, it turns into a staring contest, with both parties refusing to back down as the cashier looks on bewilderedly, certainly not bored, but very confused and half-amused. Eric’s hand reaches out to tap Sehun’s nose and the latter startles. 

“I win.” Eric snatches the briefs from a stunned Sehun’s hands and begins walking up to the register. 

“Is that fair, cutie?” Sehun grabs Eric by the forearm before he gets too far away and jerks him to turn around. 

“Have we ever played fair?” Eric smirks; and there it is again, the unwavering dominance which he exudes so effortlessly. He falls into the role perfectly. “I already won anyway.” 

“It’s 25.69,” the cashier tells him. 

“Nice.” Eric and Sehun speak at the same time, startling themselves and the cashier, who suppresses a smile. 

“There’s a sale on condoms, by the way,” the boy says while bagging the underwear with practiced indifference to counter against the blushing and averted eye contact he usually gets. Seems like these two customers are an exception, though. “They’re buy one box, get one free.” 

“Sure, I’ll take it.” Eric flips his wallet open. 

“What size?” 

“Medium, please.” Sehun produces an amused, cocksure huff from out of his nose at this, and Eric rolls his eyes. 

“We get it, you have a big dick.” 

“You waxed poetic about it just a few days ago.” Both of them talk as if they’re holding a conversation about the weather. 

“Sir?” Eric calls, and the very amused cashier comes back with two boxes of Eric’s preferred condom size and brand. “Where are your gags for this son of a bitch?” 

“Right shelf towards the middle.” The man answers practically, but he has to fight quite hard to resist the urge to laugh. It’s probably not every day he gets to fuel sexually infused banter. 

“Leather and latex,” Sehun murmurs, smirking as he drapes an arm around Eric’s shoulder to keep him from walking over to the gags. “Let’s go, domly dom.” He’s just showing off for the cashier now. 

“In a hurry to try on your new goodies?” Eric teases.

“You have dance practice.” 

“Aw, how considerate of you.” Eric’s voice oozes sarcasm, but he makes no effort to pull away from Sehun’s arm as he takes the bag and slides his card back into his wallet. “Thanks, dude.” The cashier nods cordially.

“Hey, I like your hair.” Sehun throws a thumbs up to the guy, eyeing his cotton candy pink hair. “S’cute.” The cashier’s face lights up at the compliment. 

“Thanks!” 

“Dainty and ditzy,” Eric says to this. “Don’t fall for it,” he calls to the cashier. “He has a soft spot for everything with sunshine and rainbows.” 

“Lies.” Sehun throws his signature eye-smile at the boy behind the counter, who blushes almost the same shade as his hair. “Bye. Thank you.” 

“Come again,” is his good-bye call to the eccentric pair. To which both of them cackle like teenagers and clap in approval. 

“C’mon. Put it on.” Eric tosses the newly-purchased latex briefs onto Sehun’s face. Sehun palms the garment and holds it up, then sighs in resignation and sits up. 

“I’ll be back.” 

“Wait--” Eric tosses a bottle of silicon-based lube towards Sehun. “You’re definitely gonna need that.” 

“I’m not getting myself off in your bathroom,” Sehun rolls his eyes. 

“No the fuck you’re not. Latex is hard to put on, dude.” Eric snorts. “Let me know if you need help!” he calls out in a fake-nice voice as Sehun shuts the bathroom door unnecessarily hard. Avoiding his eyes in the mirror, Sehun shucks his pants and regular boxer briefs, then turns his attention to the latex underwear. As it turns out, Eric was right. It’s like trying to stuff himself into a balloon. Sehun reaches for the lube and gingerly applies it to the inside of the garment before slipping it on. Immediately, Sehun is aroused--perhaps not physically, but the knowledge of wearing something so provocative makes his imagination run a little wild. He turns towards the mirror to see how ridiculous he looks, and--oh. Okay. Sehun almost smiles. The latex feels like a second skin, clinging to his legs and the curve of his butt with absolutely no wiggle room. Sehun suspects this will quite literally be a pain in the ass when he walks home in the hot sun, but he can almost forget about it when he shuffles around and catches a glimpse of his ass.  _ Oh.  _ Sexy rubber underwear makes his ass look  _ delectable.  _ Not to mention the little bulge in the front of his crotch that serves as the perfect tease… the material is so snug that Sehun immediately realizes why Eric wanted to put him in this. It’s so  _ Eric,  _ Sehun thinks with a little smile playing at the corner of his lips, to put him in something that restrains him so much. One would think that with how stretchy the latex is, it would be forgiving, but even the mini erection he has right now throbs against the underwear ineffectually. Sehun decides it’ll be good enough for Eric. He practically saunters back into the bedroom, where Eric is currently shirtless, presumably in the middle of changing into dance clothes. When he catches sight of Sehun, clad in only his white t-shirt and black latex, Eric eyes him up and down slowly, taking in the naughty sight. 

“Not bad.” Eric pats himself on the back. “I did a good job.” 

“So fucking self-absorbed.” Sehun sways his hips a little. “Come and get it, hottie.” 

“Put your pants back on.” Eric ignores the temptation and slips a shirt over his chiseled torso. “I gotta go to class.” 

“When should I drop by?” Sehun asks, sliding his basketball shorts back on and walking over to Eric, mostly to feel what it's like to wear clothing over latex. Everything seems twice as sensitive now, because the material is so thin, but the rubber isn’t breathable at all. So while he can feel the mesh of his shorts against his thighs, he also… can’t? It’s weird, but Sehun figures he’ll live if it’s just for a few hours.

“Dunno. I finish practice around… 5? Give me like an hour after that.” 

“Works,” Sehun breathes, leaning down just slightly to capture Eric’s lips. Just a little preview of what’s bound to be a fun night. “See you then.” 

“Hyung, I’m back,” Sehun calls when he walks into Jongdae’s house. 

“Welcome back.” Jongdae’s voice calls from the bedroom. “I’m just gonna take a shower really quickly.” 

“Kay.” Too bad Sehun isn’t invited. He sighs and wanders into the kitchen in order to prep dinner for Jongdae, since he’ll be out later, and in search of something cold and refreshing. The latex is starting to feel much less sexy with all that sweat and nowhere for it to evaporate. Ah, the things Sehun does for good dick. 

“Sehunnie!” Jongdae’s voice calls from the shower not five minutes after Sehun has started washing zucchini. 

“Yeah!” 

“I need shampoo!” Sehun heaves a small sigh. 

“Okay.” He locates a bottle tucked on the bottom shelf of Jongdae’s linen closet, then winces as he realizes that the bathroom is humid and steamy. 

“Hyung, do you not turn the fan on when you shower?” Sehun asks, already feeling sticky and way too warm. The rippled glass shower door doesn’t give Sehun much of a view anyways, but still, the  _ implication  _ of Jongdae on the other side makes Sehun twitch a little. “Here.” The door opens just a little for Sehun to pass the shampoo bottle. 

He barely has time to process a wet hand gripping him tightly around the wrist before it pulls him in. Sehun gasps and stumbles on the small threshold at the edge of the shower. His hand reaches out instinctively to keep himself balanced; it smacks the tiled wall with a loud slap that resonates in the small bathroom. The shampoo bottle falls from his hand unconsciously, skittering down the slope of the floor to come to a rest at the shower drain. And then Jongdae’s arms are wrapped tight around Sehun’s waist. Water is beginning to seep in through the cotton of his shirt, and Sehun feels soft, wet, human warmth pressed against every inch of his backside as Jongdae encircles and traps him in a hug from behind. 

“What the fuck,” Sehun gasps, barely coherent as he tries to catch his breath. He’s frozen in both immediate arousal and confusion, unable to do anything but keep one hand planted on the tile wall and stay stock still as Jongdae breathes down his neck in little soft pants. Very vaguely, he acknowledges the spray of hot water from the showerhead, bouncing off of Jongdae’s skin, slowly soaking through his clothing. Sehun physically jolts in fear and surprise when Jongdae’s hands slip  _ under  _ Sehun’s half-wet shirt and bracket his bare waist.

“Hyung, what the hell…” Sehun tries to speak as he turns himself around in Jongdae’s hold to meet the man’s eyes, but his question falters and dies out when Jongdae looks up at him beseechingly with a faraway glaze over his eyes. “I--” Sehun tries once more, then gives it up as futile. “Jongdae.” His black hair is plastered to his forehead in wet curls, and his kitten lips are slightly parted, sitting on high cheekbones that shine a little with water. The gentle touch of Jongdae’s soft, warm, wet hands on his skin, combined with the swirling humidity of the shower and hazy fog of steam, makes Sehun lightheaded with pure, unadulterated desire. Everything becomes a little blurred. Sehun can barely process what’s happening as Jongdae’s hands move just a few inches up and down, up and down Sehun’s waist. Sehun bites back a moan and feels his eyelids flutter at the sensation. His own hands move of their own accord, pressing tight against pliant, slippery skin to pull Jongdae closer to his own body.  _ So much skin.  _ Sehun tamps down desperately on his self-control, still shaken to the core about this turn of events. He wants to ask; he doesn’t know how. He’s still only standing under half the spray, but between Jongdae’s proximity and the incessant flow of water from the showerhead, his t-shirt is starting to cling to his chest, and he can distinctly feel Jongdae’s hips pulled flush against his. Can he feel it? Sehun panics, drawing his hips back just a little. Jongdae shivers and steps closer to close the distance between them again. It hurts. The latex keeps everything tucked securely in place, so as Sehun fills out, his erection strains to be let free. Sehun has never been so grateful for his--Eric’s--choice of underwear. 

“Hyung.” The word comes out choked and gritted; Sehun’s own traitorous limbs reach to grip Jongdae’s wrists tightly and wretchedly slide Jongdae’s hands off of his skin. Jongdae immediately wraps his arms around the outside of Sehun’s shirt, which honestly doesn’t even make a difference anymore. Sehun can feel everything--the warmth radiating off of Jongdae’s body, the swell of muscle as Jongdae clings tightly to him, and the, the soft bulge of him pressed against Sehun’s crotch--Sehun tries, tries so hard, but he can feel himself slipping with every drop of water that soaks through his clothes, rendering them useless as a barrier against Jongdae. The steam makes it difficult to breathe and Sehun’s head swims as he tries to get a hold of himself. Jongdae is so wet and slippery and naked under Sehun’s touch. His back is firm and strong as Sehun holds Jongdae closer than skin. Sehun can’t stop trembling; the tight knot of arousal just keeps growing and growing the more Jongdae stands there, breathing heavily against Sehun’s neck, occasionally shifting around to draw Sehun even closer to him. 

“Please, please…” Jongdae withdraws his face from Sehun’s neck to look up at him. Sehun’s almost scared to look Jongdae in the eye, but he does, and an irrational tingle of fear, mixed with pure lust, shoots down his spine. Jongdae looks so out of it. The words fall off his lips and hang in the humid air between them. Begging. He’s begging. Sehun can’t breathe properly lest he make a sound. “Please, please.” His eyes are locked on Sehun’s lips. 

Sehun’s breath comes in quick, sporadic gasps. He’s dizzy and he can’t see straight and all he knows is Jongdae, Jongdae against every inch of him, Jongdae’s near-whisper, Jongdae’s pleading look in his eyes. So he just nods, nods and lets his eyes flutter shut as Jongdae tiptoes upwards and closes the distance in between their lips. Sehun’s chest explodes into a million feelings all at once, and it takes  _ everything he has  _ not to cry out into Jongdae’s mouth because God, it feels so good; Jongdae’s lips are so firm and soft against his; his body melts into Sehun’s; everything feels so right and wrong at the same time; he shouldn’t, Sehun shouldn’t give into all the tension that’s built up in between them, but Jongdae’s kissing him and he kisses back, letting his mouth fall open a little and then move against Jongdae’s lips so naturally. Just once. Then Jongdae pulls away, leaving Sehun completely winded and so fucking turned on that the slightest breeze will make him come untouched. 

“I miss you,” Jongdae whispers to Sehun. That should’ve been Sehun’s warning sign. Jongdae jolts as Sehun shifts just a little, and his eyes become focused again. “Shit, I’m sorry.” It’s as if the paper-thin walls between them suddenly harden into plaster again as Jongdae snaps half-back to reality. “I--I--I miss her so much.” Sehun feels like he’s been punched in the gut. “I’m sorry,” Jongdae whispers again, tears filling his eyes, arms loosening around Sehun. He pays no attention to Sehun, whose world stands stock still and so very silent. Jongdae doesn’t love him. He never has. He’s Jongdae’s closest friend, closer than skin, closer than maybe even his significant others, but that still doesn’t mean they have anything between them. And Sehun has been such a fool, so completely, utterly blinded by Jongdae’s vivacity and presence that he’d actually--Sehun swallows hard--he had  _ let himself believe  _ that Jongdae was falling in love with him when in reality, Jongdae was just… lonely. Sad. It wasn’t Sehun that Jongdae was thinking about when he became pensive and physical in the shower. It was… 

“I miss her,” Jongdae whimpers. “Seojun.” 

Sehun’s response is automatic. As if words could be molded into muscle memory. “I know.” Sehun can almost feel himself clam up protectively, bottling up all the emotions that he had let himself experience. Right now, he can’t feel anything. He’s numb and devoid of all feeling except for the massive, gaping hole in his heart that is being ripped apart with every word Jongdae says, every step he takes away from Sehun. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t know… why…” Jongdae gestures between them and wipes at his eyes embarrassedly. “Are you mad? I know… that it’s not right.” 

“No. Hyung, it’s okay.” Simple, short answers. Sehun’s heart is frantic with misery. “I’m okay.” He has never been so far from ‘okay’. 

“I don’t know what came over me.” Jongdae rubs both hands over his face. “I… I haven’t slept well since she left, and work… stress… I’m sorry, Sehunnie. I really am. I wasn’t thinking straight.” 

“I know. It’s okay.” 

“Do you wanna step out while I finish showering? I’m sorry. I just… I need… something… advice… I don’t know…” Jongdae hesitantly reaches out to cup Sehun’s waist again while the latter stands stock still under half of the warm spray of water, trying to collect himself. 

“Yeah.” Sehun turns stiffly and leaves the shower. 

“You can borrow some of my clothes if you need,” Jongdae’s small, apologetic voice trails him as Sehun reaches mindlessly for a fluffy towel that smells like Jongdae’s laundry detergent and a hint of rose-scented perfume. He doesn’t take Jongdae’s clothes. He simply stands in the middle of Jongdae’s bedroom with a towel wrapped around himself, ignoring the chill that soaks through his clothing, feeling his heart beat so heavily that he can hear it in his temples. It’s how Jongdae finds him when he steps out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, hair adorably tousled and slightly damp. Jongdae’s eyebrows crease in worry. 

“Sehunnie, you don’t want to change? Why are you just standing there? Come here.” Sehun obeys mindlessly. Jongdae takes the towel from him and pats him down worriedly. “Are you sure you don’t want to change your shirt, at least? You’ll catch a cold, even if it’s summer…” 

“I’m fine.” He isn't. How can he be? 

“What do I do?” Jongdae looks at Sehun beseechingly as the younger sits down on the very edge of the bed robotically. “The more I think about it, the more I realize how stupid it was…” 

“I think you should talk to her about it.” The advice falls from Sehun’s lips haphazardly. Why is it so easy to fall for Jongdae? Why can’t he focus on  _ his  _ hurt first before offering to fix Jongdae’s relationship? “It sounds like a lack of communication to me.” 

“I know. It’s just that we’re both… stubborn, I guess…” Jongdae’s still shirtless, rifling through his closet for a shirt. 

“Sometimes you have to compromise. Or give in when you can’t.” Sehun crosses and uncrosses his ankles methodically. “When she asks you to remember something, go write it down on your list. You don’t have to ask her to write it.” 

“Oh!” Jongdae looks startled at this suggestion. “I… never thought of that.” 

“Evidently.” Sehun’s not out of it enough to forget his sarcasm. “Hyung, you can do things your way but still appeal to her.” 

“It’s just we argue over such… little things,” Jongdae wrinkles his nose. “I don’t understand why they’re a big deal.” 

“Little things add up to become big problems.” Gosh, this is what they meant by book smart versus street smart. “You care for her, so you should be willing to make her happy, even if it’s just little changes in habits.” Sehun swallows hard. “Think about all the great sex you’ll get as a reward for doing the dishes.” He’s quite the masochist.

“Sehun.” Jongdae blushes. 

“I’m serious.” 

“I guess.” Jongdae finally finds a shirt. Then he sighs. “Do you think… she wants me back?” 

“I don’t know.” Sehun answers honestly. “You should ask her.” It hurts so much. Sehun can’t feel anything but pain as Jongdae pines over his girl, and Sehun pines over him. 

“Was I wrong for walking out, Sehunnie?” Jongdae looks over to Sehun, who has barely moved. 

“It’s okay to deescalate the situation, but… it doesn’t need to be dramatic.” Sehun takes the time to choose his words carefully. “I just think you should talk to her. Go get your girl, hyung.” 

“I will.” Jongdae sighs. “Thank you, Sehunnie.” 

“Yeah.” 

“I really want to make it up to her,” Jongdae murmurs. Way to twist the knife. “She’s so cute and precious. I miss having her around.” Jongdae heaves a sigh. “Not that you’re bad company, Sehunnie.” 

“No, hyung. I get it.” Sehun stands up stiffly. “I get it.” In painful clarity. Sehun quietly walks into the bathroom to hang his towel up to dry. 

“Do you… have any plans for the rest of the day?” Jongdae asks when Sehun comes back out. 

“I’m just going over to a friend’s.” 

“To fuck or hang?” Jongdae’s smile borders on teasing. 

“Hang.” 

“Are you leaving already?” 

“Yeah.” Sehun walks over to the door. There’s almost a whole hour left before Eric told him to come over, but he needs to get out of the house  _ now. _

“Sehunnie, if it was because of me…” 

“No, hyung.” Sehun straightens up once he’s shoved his feet into his shoes. “It wasn’t because of you. I really do have plans.” 

“I presume you’re not gonna stay the night.” 

“Probably not.” Sehun shakes his head; he wouldn’t be able to stand it. “Good luck with Seojun.” It hurts; everything hurts. 

“I’ll let you know. Thank you, Sehunnie.” Before Sehun can withdraw, Jongdae’s gathered him up into a tentative hug. Sehun runs an unfeeling hand through Jongdae’s damp hair, just to show he cares, then pulls away. 

“I’ll text you.” 

“Please do.” Jongdae’s smile is still angelic as ever. “Have fun.” 

Out on the bright street, Sehun begins walking towards his and Jongin’s condo instinctually, because whenever something catastrophic happens, he’s always gone to Jongin, and Jongin has always gone to him. Jongin is the obvious choice. He’ll listen and cuddle and let Sehun get completely wasted and then wingman him into a nice, cute hookup. But then Sehun’s heart drops even further into his stomach, because Jongin himself is currently pretending to be okay when he isn’t. He’s probably at home, pensive, trying to fight the growing bundle of loneliness and sadness in his heart right now. No doubt Jongin is clutching Kyungsoo’s teddy bear, wearing his shirt, trying to swallow around a large lump in his throat. Sehun’s appearance would only worry and upset him even more, and then they’d both probably end up drunk, sobbing, and hysterical. No, Sehun can’t go to Jongin. He stops in his tracks, briefly overwhelmed by the sense of desperateness and panic that rises in his chest. 

“Fuck…” Sehun closes his eyes and balls his hands into fists. “Fuck.” The air is too hot and too dry. Sehun exhales shakily before turning left at the end of the block instead of right. 

“Dude, can you NOT follow simple instructions? Are you that needy? I said give me a fucking hour--” Eric’s harsh words slap Sehun in the face as the dancer opens the door, shirtless, hair wet, wearing only a pair of jeans. Sehun stumbles backwards, anguished, barely processing his surroundings. Eric scans Sehun up and down, lingering on his damp clothes, messy hair, and glazed-over eyes, then immediately changes tactic. “Hey. Come in, dude.” He gently reaches out for Sehun’s hand and tugs him in through the threshold. Sehun follows, limp and almost unresponsive. Eric quietly guides him into the bedroom, then climbs up onto his bed, pulling Sehun to sit in between his legs with his back to Eric’s chest. 

“It’s okay.” Eric knows hurting and distressed when he sees it, and while he definitely can’t pinpoint the source, he wants to get Sehun to a point where he can hopefully let go and fix his own problems. He stays calm and reassuring, gently working Sehun’s damp shirt up and off of him. Sehun only shivers a little. “It’s okay, Sehun.” Eric’s hands gently trace up and down Sehun’s rib cage while he kisses the back of Sehun’s neck and his broad shoulders, then comes to lay against the six squares of muscle on Sehun’s stomach. “I got you, okay? Will you let me touch you?” 

Sehun can’t stop shaking, but he nods jerkily, stiff in Eric’s embrace as the dancer tugs at the waistband of his shorts with one hand and patiently works them off of Sehun’s legs. 

“Just relax,” he tells Sehun, tracing the latex briefs with a tip of his finger. “You’re okay, Sehun. I’m right here.” He gently palms Sehun’s prominent erection, and Sehun shudders. 

“Uhh,” a small moan escapes, so unlike his usual hard-driven, dominant self. Eric presses the palm of his hand down, firmer this time, and Sehun’s head tilts back just a little more. He whines and fidgets with the bedspread underneath his fingers, hips canting up towards Eric’s hand as his erection strains futilely against the rubber. Moreover, the latex material is stifling, so Sehun feels hot and jittery all over as his hardness begs to be freed. Sehun whines as more kisses are pressed against the junction of his neck while Eric pets Sehun’s package over the latex, making Sehun jerk and twitch. “I’ll take care of you.” The feeling is completely different from someone stroking him through cotton or polyester; the latex refuses to move, so all Sehun can do is sit there and keen towards Eric’s hand, which brushes up and down on the outside of the material, offering a sort of muted friction. 

“I--” Sehun squirms and thrashes, moving to push the underwear off of himself, but Eric’s hand immediately stops stroking and goes to hold both of Sehun’s hands down. 

“Stay still.” Eric’s voice denotes gentle dominance.  _ I’ll  _ take care of you, he’s saying. Let  _ me _ help you. Sehun reluctantly brings his hands to his sides, and gets a kiss on his jawline as a reward. 

The next time Eric cups Sehun’s bulge, he also brings his other hand up to play with one of Sehun’s nipples, taking it between his fingers and rubbing the soft pad of his finger over the bud. Sehun groans and arches up into every point of contact, then jerks and gasps as Eric pinches hard. 

“It’s okay,” Eric murmurs as he twists Sehun’s nipples, which sends pinpricks of pain flying out through his hypersensitive body. He continues teasing for several more minutes; the hand on Sehun’s angry erection soft and barely relieving any pressure, while sharp pinches and twists to either nipple cause Sehun to alternatively twitch, then slump more and more into Eric’s arms despite his original tenseness. “Just let go, Sehun,” Eric whispers while he rubs Sehun’s abused and sensitive nipples in little circles. He can feel Sehun’s muscles relaxing against his own chest with every passing second. “I’m holding you; it’s okay to relax.” Sehun almost whimpers at Eric’s words. “I’ll protect you,” Eric reassures him, feeling Sehun collapse into his arms weakly instead of trying to hold himself up. As promised, Eric holds him close and steady, continuing his pain-pleasure play as Sehun drifts on the cloud of reassurance and protection that Eric offers him. A sharp slap in between Sehun’s legs causes him to jolt and cry out in pain. 

“Shh, shh.” Eric suckles and bites down on the junction between Sehun’s neck and shoulder. “It’ll be alright.” 

“Hmh.” Sehun lets his head tip back onto Eric’s shoulder. Eric assesses all of Sehun’s incoherent and nonverbal cues carefully before meeting each of them with patience and confidence. He’s not looking to draw out Sehun’s discomfort, but he hopes a little bit of pain-pleasure will end up soothing Sehun’s apparent distress more than a quick release. 

“Do you want these off?” Eric slips two fingers under the latex and tugs a little, feeling the stretchy material give. Sehun nods, twisting around partially in Eric’s one-armed hold so he can turn and look at Eric, who gives him a caring, reassuring look. “You’re gonna have to help me, Sehun.” 

“Okay,” Sehun whispers, muffled a little by Eric’s lips pressed briefly to his. Eric makes a few more passes over the outside of the latex before he wiggles his fingers under the snugly fitting underwear and tugs. Together, they shimmy the insistent latex off, then Eric removes both the underwear and Sehun’s pants off from around his ankles and tosses them somewhere to lay on the bed, forgotten, before grabbing the lube from under his pillows and gathering Sehun into his arms again. Sehun had gasped the second he felt the cool air hit his angry erection, which had been straining against the unbreathable material. The suffocation had heightened his senses, so now, even the barest amount of stimulation is enough to make Sehun’s cock twitch and ooze precum. 

Sehun’s breath comes in quick pants as he waits for Eric to do something. The dancer’s hand snakes around to fondle Sehun’s balls, eliciting a groan from Sehun that quickly turns into a hoarse shout when Eric presses down on the sensitive area until the pressure borders on pain. Sehun’s legs immediately try to close in order to combat the discomfort, but Eric grasps a handful of Sehun’s inner thigh and gently pulls them apart. 

“It’ll be okay, Sehun. Keep them open.” A nip at his earlobe. Sehun gasps and nods. “I’ll make you feel so good,” Eric reassures him, and Sehun holds onto every word. “You can trust me.” While he talks, Eric pops open the lube and squirts a generous dollop onto his hands, taking the time to warm it up before wrapping his hands around Sehun’s heavy, hot length and drawing upwards slowly. The reaction is instantaneous; Sehun moans and cants his hips upwards into the blissful feeling. “There you go,” Eric whispers, moving up and down Sehun’s shaft leisurely a few more times. “I’m right here. I got you.” Sehun’s eyes flutter shut and he tilts his head slightly to bury it into Eric’s neck, lips just barely touching skin. Eric hums in approval as he continues to feed Sehun feelings of pleasure, although it’s interjected by sharp, quick pinches of Sehun’s sore nipples. Sehun moans into Eric’s neck, somewhat lost in the protective and safe bubble that Eric has built for him, entrusting all of himself to Eric helplessly. And Eric takes it all in stride, pleased when he feels Sehun fully submit to him--not because he wants to dominate, but because it’s what Sehun needs in order to feel better. Eric recounts the brief conversation they had about limits after that time Eric had broken out the leather restraints, just to double check with his memory that what he’s about to do is okay with Sehun. Then he subtly reorients Sehun so that they’re both sitting up a little more, and places a light hand around Sehun’s thoat, just as a precursor of his intentions. When Sehun doesn’t resist, Eric wraps his hand firmly around Sehun’s neck and squeezes, applying controlled pressure to both sides of Sehun’s neck where his arteries are located. Sehun promptly goes rigid under Eric’s hold as his oxygen supply is cut off. The lack of air sends Sehun’s body into a state of alertness, which heightens his senses and most prominently focuses all of Sehun’s attention onto Eric’s hand on his cock, sliding up and down, still jerking him off steadily. Sehun tries to moan, but no sound comes out of his mouth, just a desperate gurgle. When he starts to get light headed, Eric lets go, and suddenly all the breath rushes back into Sehun’s lungs with a whoosh. He gasps and coughs in between moans while Eric’s hand brushes down the side of his arm gently. 

“It’s okay. I won’t hurt you. Remember to tap me when it’s too much.” Eric kisses the skin behind Sehun’s ear soothingly as Sehun shivers and nods. The dancer lets Sehun catch his breath a little more, speeding up his stroking incrementally. When Sehun starts to get wriggly, Eric’s hand wraps around Sehun’s neck again and squeezes for a little longer this time before letting go. Sehun’s sounds become desperate when he can breathe again. 

“Close,” he whispers hoarsely; one of the only words he’s spoken that afternoon. 

“Okay,” Eric whispers back reassuringly, hand closing around Sehun’s neck once more to help tip him over the edge. A dozen fast, tight strokes, then Sehun’s vision whites out as he cums with Eric’s hand still choking him. His toes curl up and he jerks in Eric’s strong, steady hold. Eric releases his hold and strokes Sehun all the way through his orgasm, slowing his comedown, maximizing every bit of emotional and physical release for Sehun. 

“You’re gonna be okay,” Eric whispers once Sehun is half-sentient again. He kisses Sehun’s shoulder lightly. Sehun only breathes heavily for some time, limp against Eric’s bare chest, head lolling back to rest on Eric’s shoulder. Eric drops another kiss on the back of his neck, ignoring the drying cum covering his hand and Sehun’s crotch. They sit like that for maybe another few seconds, and then Sehun starts to tremble as he slowly dissolves into tears. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Shh. It’s alright,” Eric wraps his clean hand under one of Sehun’s arms and up to the opposite shoulder, holding him steady. “I’m right here, Sehun, it’ll be okay.” Sehun just shakes his head and props himself up a little more to turn around and bury his face into the side of Eric’s neck as tears of heartache and pain cascade down both of his cheeks. There’s so much  _ hurt  _ inside of Sehun, welling up and swirling around in his chest. He is such a fool. Sehun gasps shakily through his tears at the raw feeling of grief and rejection as all the emotions he had bottled up earlier in front of Jongdae spill out in front of Eric, who simply pats his back soothingly and lets Sehun cling to him tightly. 

“Let it out,” Eric murmurs into Sehun’s hair, “it’s okay. I’ll hold you; I’ll protect you, Sehun.” Sehun cries harder. Eric’s words, coupled with his gentle gestures, seem to open up a dam in Sehun’s chest, allowing him to release all that he had kept to himself for so many years. It all comes pouring out now, and Eric is simply there, alternating between rubbing circles around Sehun’s damp, sweaty back and stroking his hair. His arms encase Sehun in a strong, protective hold; his body firm and steady against Sehun’s trembling form. And he sits perfectly still, attentive and caring, occasionally whispering phrases of comfort into Sehun’s ear as Sehun slowly releases years and years of suppression and loneliness and pining. It takes hours. At some point, Eric’s roommate comes home and peeks into Eric’s room cautiously to locate the sound of sniffling and shuddery exhales, but Eric firmly shakes his head and motions for the other guy to shut the door before pressing a long kiss into Sehun’s tousled hair. Cradled in Eric’s arms, Sehun eventually cries himself to sleep, exhausted and emotionally drained.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a SeDae anti  
> Do not come for me  
> I am not a SeDae anti  
> But I'm not sorry ^_^  
> Also I am not a KaiSoo anti, Kyungsoo is just smart and extra and I'm just responsible for writing him :3  
> Also SHINee's BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! \\(^o^)/ whoop whoop!!!!  
> Excited to see your comments! Love you guys! Be back soon! hehe
> 
> I promised justafei to take all the blame for anything SeDae and I will 😅. I hope you enjoyed the chapter!
> 
> Happy belated Taemin Day~ Luckily both canon and our Jongin celebrated his birthday in time =D.
> 
> #ONEWISBACK Today is a good day.
> 
> We are looking forward to all of your comments so much! Honestly, waiting for your comments is the most exciting part of posting a new chapter. See you soon~


	21. resume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Italic_ speech is Korean.

Sehun wakes up on the wrong side of the bed--literally, because he sleeps on the left side when he shares the bed with Jongin in their condo. But today, for some weird reason, he’s on the right side and also vaguely registers another human presence beside him. A little bit of squirming, and Sehun pulls back enough to take in Eric, peacefully sleeping next to him with his arms wrapped tight around Sehun still. That’s _awkward,_ because as far as Sehun is concerned, cuddling with Eric is out of necessity, and not closeness. Another cursory glance around himself tells Sehun that this is Eric’s room, which, instead of providing him insight, only serves to confuse him more. Why is Eric holding him; why is he at Eric’s in the first place; and why can’t he remember anything? For a moment, Sehun mulls over his choices. Assuming Eric is a heavy sleeper, he could probably manage to slither out of Eric’s grasp and be on his merry way, just like every other time they’ve hooked up. Only Sehun’s completely in the dark as to how he got here, and something--maybe his pounding headache and scratchy throat--tells him he should probably piece together that puzzle before attempting to do anything else. So he snuggles closer to Eric’s surprisingly warm and comfortable chest, closes his eyes, and slowly begins the awkward process of trying to sort out what exactly happened yesterday afternoon. 

Jongdae. There’s a faint twinge of discomfort in Sehun’s chest as he dredges up the memory just long enough to connect it to how he got to Eric’s house, then promptly moves on. Eric being uncharacteristically gentle and comforting; taking care of him with a mix of pleasure-pain that had brought on the most intense orgasm Sehun had ever felt. Eric’s definitely going to hold that one over his head for quite a while, asshole that he is. Sehun smiles wryly, then shifts as Eric starts to wake up next to him. His arms tighten briefly around Sehun, then loosen their hold to come up and rub his eyes sleepily. Sehun lays still until Eric’s eyes fall on him. 

“Are you feeling better today?” His morning voice is raspy but quiet. Sehun nods and stretches upwards, which makes him aware of the disgusting feeling of dried cum on his crotch. Gross. No. Sehun slides out of bed, grabs his clothes from yesterday from the floor, and pads into the bathroom without an invitation, leaving Eric to wake up on his own. A glance in the mirror tells him that his eyes are just as puffy as he had envisioned they would be, and the skin across his cheeks feels tight from dried, streaked tears that were never properly washed off. Sehun rinses his face, cleans himself up with little difficulty, and pulls his clothes on. Eric’s sitting on the edge of his bed, scrolling through his phone, when Sehun opens the door to the bathroom. Sehun raises an eyebrow. 

“You slept in jeans?” His voice is hoarse from all the crying he did. Eric throws him a look that’s measured and also slightly sardonic. 

“You were clingy as fuck for the whole night, how do you expect me to change?” Well, at least they skipped the awkward ‘do you want to talk about it, you don’t have to if you don’t want to’ phase. Eric’s giving off major business-as-usual vibes, and Sehun appreciates it much more than he lets on. 

“How considerate of you.” That’ll do as a thank you, right? Eric seems to think so, because he rolls his eyes. 

“If this--” Eric nods towards Sehun’s figure, “--is what your one-night stands see when they wake up in the morning,” Eric stands up and makes his way into the bathroom, “I feel really bad for them.” The door closes with a sharp ‘snap’. 

“Hey,” Sehun begins when Eric walks back out. The dancer doesn’t look at him, but nods to show that he’s listening while he combs his hair back. “Do you have anything I could eat? I feel like if I leave without any food, I’ll just collapse. Haven’t had anything since yesterday morning.” 

“Yeah, I gotchu.” Eric fluffs up his bangs and pushes them out of his eyes, then waves for Sehun to follow him. When they reach the kitchen, Eric’s roommate is already sitting at the small dinner table, nursing half of an English muffin with raspberry jam. He looks up and nods to Eric, then locks eyes with Sehun and freezes slightly. Eric pays them no mind while Sehun sizes him up. He’s cute and delicate, with slightly pouty lips on a defined jawline and high cheekbones. He sports a few carefully highlighted strands of blonde hair in his mop of black, which sticks up untidily in the back after a good night’s sleep. Sehun raises a singular hand in greeting. 

“Sup.” 

“Hey.” 

Sehun figures that’s about as cordial as it’ll get. After all, the guy is straight, and he walked in on buck-naked Sehun bawling his eyes out on his roommate’s shoulder yesterday. All things considered, it could’ve gone a lot worse. 

“Yogurt in the fridge, muffins and shit over there.” Eric nods to the open bag of English muffins on the counter. Sehun opts for both, then takes a seat on the opposite side of the roommate and to the right of Eric. 

“How’d you sleep?” Eric breaks the somewhat awkward silence that befalls the trio after a couple minutes of chewing and swallowing. Sehun and roomie both glance at him to figure out who he’s addressing. “Chanhee.” Ah, so that’s his name.

“Fine. You?” 

“Okay, considering my right arm went numb.” 

“You could’ve just… moved,” Sehun grumbles under his breath. Eric pretends not to hear him. 

“This bitch died a little in his sleep.” A jab of a yogurt-covered spoon towards Sehun. “No idea how he did it, since he bawled for like, four hours yesterday.” 

“I let nothing get in the way of my beauty sleep,” Sehun declares to the jam on the top of his muffin. Not even cute nerdy boys who inflict accidental but nonetheless devastating emotional pain. 

“Don’t flatter yourself, it didn’t do much for you.” Eric appraises him in all of his post-sob session, mid-morning glory.

“Doesn’t that mean you have shit taste in guys?” Sehun challenges. 

“To be fair, _you_ showed up about to collapse on my fucking doorstep. What the hell was I supposed to do?” Eric shrugs with a mouthful of yogurt. Chanhee mutters something that both of them don’t catch. “Sorry?” 

“You have pretty shit taste in guys.” Sehun slams the table in sudden laughter while Eric just looks wronged. Chanhee, having insulted both bantering idiots in one go, simply bites his lip to hide a mischievous smile. 

“Hot guy last night?” Jongin barely looks up when Sehun breezes in through the door of their shared condo. “Considering you slept over, I’d assume it was g--” The rest of the dancer’s teasing gets caught in his throat as he glances up and takes in Sehun’s red, puffy eyes, his wrinkled clothing, and messy hair. “Sehun?” Jongin’s voice rises as his anxiety kicks into high gear. “Did something happen?” 

“I was with Eric.” Sehun answers the first question; ignores the second. Jongin doesn’t miss his avoidance. 

“What’d he do? Did he hurt you? I swear to God I’ll murder him at MDC today--” 

“Well, yeah, he did hurt me, but that was consensual.” 

“I--” Jongin waves his hands helplessly, wrinkling his nose in disgust and embarrassment. “I didn’t ask?” 

“You kinda did.” 

“Sehunnie, you cried. What happened?” Jongin latches onto Sehun’s arm and tugs insistently. “Are you okay?” Sehun heaves a sigh and turns to face his best friend. Jongin’s eyes are wide with worry and his brows are furrowed together supplicatingly. Sehun gives in. 

“Jongdae.” 

“What did he do?” Jongin’s face softens a little as Sehun’s walls slowly come down. 

“Long story short, he kissed me in the shower and thought I was Seojun. And then he asked me for relationship advice while I was all whipped.” Sehun’s tone is light, but he avoids Jongin’s eyes and there’s a tightness in his chest. 

“Oh, Sehun…” Jongin seems at a loss for words, furious with his hyung, worried to death for Sehun, and also more than a little confused as Sehun’s queer summary. Still, he figures it’s probably not the time to ask exactly why Sehun and Jongdae were in the shower together in the first place. “Why didn’t you come home after that?” Jongin whispers, clinging onto Sehun’s arm tighter. Sehun heaves another sigh. 

“Because you have your own problems to worry about and I didn’t want to make you listen to my shitty feelings. You have enough on your plate.” There’s a short period of silence, then Sehun is shoved, hard, so that he stumbles backwards and crashes into the wall. 

“Fuck you.” Jongin pushes him again, then pummels Sehun’s arms and upper torso with his fists. 

“What the fuck, Jong?” Sehun raises both hands defensively in front of himself to defend against the hailstorm of punches.

“Why didn’t you come to me?!” Jongin gives up trying to be mean and scary and instead wraps his arms around Sehun’s waist in a comforting hug. “I’m fine, Sehunnie. I would’ve listened. You didn’t have to go find someone else. I’m so sorry.” Jongin pulls Sehun close. “Jongdae’s so dense.”

“Yeah…” Sehun doesn’t put his arms around Jongin, but he leans into the comforting presence of his best friend. 

“Are you okay?” Jongin’s voice is all soft and gentle. 

“I’ll live.” Sehun drops his chin onto Jongin’s shoulder. 

“Sehunnie…” Sympathy drips from every syllable of Jongin’s words. 

“He didn’t mean any harm,” Sehun whispers, closing his eyes. 

“I know. That doesn’t make it any less painful.” Jongin’s hands glide in small circles around Sehun’s back rhythmically. “You don’t have to defend him. He still hurt you.” 

“Don’t worry about me.” Sehun extricates his arms from Jongin’s hold and gently returns the hug. “Thank you, Jong.” 

“Come talk to me whenever,” Jongin invites. “You can’t get rid of me anyways.” 

“Unfortunately.” Sehun tips his cheek affectionately against Jongin’s while the elder makes an indignant sound in the back of his throat. “Love you.” 

“Love you, too.” Jongin laughs. “Who’s sappy now?” 

“Please. I’m not nearly as sappy as your boy toy.” Sehun huffs. “Flowers every other day? Chocolate? A teddy bear, Jong, really?” 

“It’s so cute!” Jongin defends his boyfriend with a pout. “I think it’s sweet…” 

“It’s so easy to woo you, isn’t it?” 

“No,” Jongin whines, getting petulant now. Sehun pats him on the head, hard, to show that he’s only teasing. 

“What are you up to, bestest BFF?” He changes the subject. 

“Just busy,” Jongin finally pulls back from the hug. “Fuck, I have so much choreography to learn for this week. We have… uhh…” Jongin holds up a hand and ticks a finger down for each of the dances. “The group dance. My solo, just in case I fuck up and end up in Bottom Six. The actual performance, which is gonna be a shitfest, because Kenzie and I have Jazz with Sonya this week, and she’s hella strict. And then they’re making us do another group choreo with half the remaining cast, contemporary for me, and Kenzie is in the other group with broadway.” Jongin throws his hands up and sighs. “I’m gonna be at MDC and the filming studio pretty much all day every day for the next week to practice. Don’t expect me to come back early.” 

“I’ll wait up for you.” 

“Oh my God, don’t. I’ll throw your whole sleep schedule off.” 

“Bold of you to assume I have a sleep schedule.” Sehun punches him lightly on the shoulder. “I’m under strict instructions to make sure you’re eating, you know. And your boy toy bites pretty hard.” 

Jongin smiles a little. “He _is_ pretty scary when he’s angry.” 

“You doing okay?” Sehun asks. Jongin gets the implication. 

“Yeah. Seriously, I’m good. I’m really busy, so I don’t have a lot of time to be depressed about it.” Jongin shrugs. Sehun studies him, and decides to take his word for it. There’s no tenseness in Jongin’s shoulders, no awkward mumbling that always happens when Jongin’s telling lies. 

“He’d be proud of you.” 

“I’m proud of him, too. Sehunnie,” Jongin calls as Sehun walks away to take a shower. Sehun turns towards him. “I’m really here if you need to talk.” Jongin’s eyes are soft again. 

“I know.” Sehun offers a wry half-smile. “Nobody else knows but you, Jong. You can’t get rid of me, either.” 

Kyungsoo trumps up the stairs albeit awkwardly because of the basket of freshly washed laundry in his arms, and successfully makes it back into his dorm room without tripping over his feet or accidentally stumbling into someone’s door. The basket gets set down on his bed and Kyungsoo crosses his legs neatly next to it, methodically sorting and folding the clothes. When he pulls out the jacket that he wore on the day that he left, he smiles a little before unzipping the pockets and sticking his hand in them to smooth them out. His fingers touch something unidentifiable. Startled, Kyungsoo pulls the contents out to reveal a small golden bracelet, not unlike the one that Jongin wears around his wrist, and two very familiar charms hanging from the delicate chain links. Along with the bracelet, Kyungsoo’s fingers also hold a folded piece of paper between his middle and index finger. Puzzled, Kyungsoo thinks back to his and Jongin’s farewell. Jongin holding tears back. A soft, precious linger of lips on lips. Jongin reaching into his pocket to steal his chocolate _\--oh._ Kyungsoo opens the note apprehensively. The writing on it is a little worse for wear, having been through an entire wash cycle, but the smudged ink is still readable. 

We’re not back together yet ;-; so take my heart and me with you until we’re like REALLY together again. I got you something to wear them as well. Will you? For me? ;) Soo, I love you sooooooo! so! so! so! soo! (haha get it, it’s punny ;3) much! I miss you!!!

And underneath, in Jongin’s messy, scrawled Korean:

_Hyung’s the best. Fighting for both of us._

He’s so cheesy. Kyungsoo chuckles a little to himself at the wording.  _ “Oh, shit,”  _ Kyungsoo says into a completely empty room, feeling his heart rate speed up for absolutely no reason.  _ “Shit. Shit.”  _ He reads the warped note over and over again and examines the bracelet for signs of damage. He really just tossed that jacket into the wash without a second thought for Jongin’s precious gift and words. Not that he had meant to, but still.  _ “Shit.”  _ Kyungsoo’s such an idiot. With some difficulty, Kyungsoo clasps the bracelet onto his left wrist, and twists it around so he can look at the small heart and Jongin’s initials. Even his name is so pretty. Kyungsoo’s head spins. It’s just a little note and bracelet, but the unexpected sweetness makes Kyungsoo smile like some whipped high schooler who just received a confession from the captain of the football team. A picture of his bracelet gets sent to Jongin, who sends back a flurry of hearts. 

♡my bby nini ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡

You’re wearing it

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

_Did you change your name on my phone?_

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

yassss

Hehehehehe

do u like it

the bracelet

not the name, that’s staying :V

_Myeon-hyung’s going to make fun of me…_

he’s just j e a l o u s

^_^

I like it.

Thank you. ♡

yayyy :D

i was wondering when u would fidn it

Fine

find***

_I don’t know if I should tell you._

ㅋㅋㅋ

tell me!

_I washed it first._

_Sorry_

TT_TT

hHHH--

hyung u ;-;

don’t ;-;

care about me ;-;

I love you.

img.6389

ohmygosh ur so hot

ksoooooo ;-;

how D R E A M Y…

I will die if u dont kiss me

Rip.

KISS ME

>:V

～(^з^)-♡

ty for ur contribution

i have to go to practice now

_Is that fair?_

wdym ;)

_Where’s my picture?_

you washed my present :o

no picture for u

Baby

Nini

My little star

Jagi

asdflkwja

lwkefjawoeifjw

fwkfelj

j-

jagi

TT_TT

_Send me a selca, jagi_

_I want to see you_

hnghgghwo

img.9283

this is so not fair

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

_Cute_

_Dance hard~_

I will

bye bye ♡♡♡

_ “Gosh, that’s disgusting to watch.”  _ An amused voice comes from the doorway of his dorm and Kyungsoo’s ridiculous smile slides off his face as his head snaps up to see Junmyeon leaning ever so casually against the doorframe.  _ “You’re grinning like an idiot.”  _

_ “Fuck, I lost six years of my lifespan because of you.”  _ Kyungsoo clutches his chest in shock.

_ “I lost twelve,”  _ Junmyeon rolls his eyes, most likely referencing the cascading failures incident. Kyungsoo decides it’s best to let that comment slide.  _ “Welcome back.”  _

_ “I forgot I invited you over.”  _ Kyungsoo sighs while Junmyeon makes himself comfortable in Kyungsoo’s desk chair. 

_ “Back to reality, huh? How was your little vacation?”  _ Junmyeon inquires.  _ “How’s your cutie?”  _

_ “ **My** _ _ cutie indeed,”  _ Kyungsoo shoots back, feeling possessive.  _ “And it was great. I hate it here more than ever now.”  _

_ “Mood.”  _ Junmyeon sighs heavily.  _ “Any news about your H1-B?”  _

_ “Nah. You?”  _

_ “Course not.”  _ They’re both silent for a minute; Kyungsoo reaches for a freshly washed t-shirt that happens to be Jongin’s, which only reminds him more of what he’ll be missing out on if he doesn’t get his visa. 

_ “Well.”  _ Junmyeon claps his hands together, breaking the depressing silence.  _ “That’s unfortunate.”  _

_ “Mmm.”  _ Kyungsoo neatly folds the shirt and sets it on top of the growing stack. 

_ “How’s your thesis?”  _

Kyungsoo can feel a headache growing just from the mere question.  _ “Wrong question.” _

_ “That bad?”  _ Junmyeon clicks his tongue sympathetically. 

_ “I’m at 150 pages and I still have to incorporate more sources. You know how people say that Professor Lee wants at least as many references as the thesis has pages? Turns out that’s not just a myth.”  _ Kyungsoo folds the next shirt with an edge of irritation. 

_ “Wait. Isn’t the upper page limit 120 for you?”  _ Junmyeon inquires; Kyungsoo glances up and mockingly toasts him for his deceptive observation. 

_ “Now you see why you asked the wrong question.” _

_ “How many references do you have so far?” _

_ “I think…”  _ Kyungsoo bites his lip.  _ “I think I’m at around 90. Reading all those papers to see if they say something useful that relates to my thesis just costs so much time. I already referenced everything that’s actually relevant,”  _ he complains,  _ “so why should I have to find more just to make up the numbers…” _

_ “I’m sure Professor Lee has her reasons,”  _ Junmyeon, ever sensible, consoles Kyungsoo. _ “But what are you going to do about all those extra pages?” _

_ “I really don’t know.”  _ Kyungsoo sighs heavily. _ “I feel like if I delete anything more it might not be coherent anymore.”  _ Junmyeon stands up, squeezes himself onto the bed next to Kyungsoo, and leans against his shoulder while he folds his laundry. _ “Actually--I wanted to ask if you could read my draft and see if you see something that you think might not be… strictly necessary. A fresh pair of eyes is what I need most right now.”  _ At Kyungsoo’s suggestion, Junmyeon smiles.

_ “Do you even need to ask? I offered to read over it months ago. You did the same for me when it was my turn after all. Yo--”  _ Junmyeon slaps him lightly on the arm. _ “But why is it that you always write so damn much?”  _

_ “There’s a lot to cover,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs, but Junmyeon continues complaining. 

_ “I remember you had the same problem with your bachelor’s thesis and we sat there the entire night before you handed it in and deleted every disposable word just to get under the limit.”  _ Junmyeon huffs in mock annoyance.  _ “One would think you would learn from your past struggles.”  _ Kyungsoo rubs his temples in slight embarrassment. 

_ “I--well--uh--thank you, Myeonnie.” _ Kyungsoo doesn’t bother defending himself; it would just be a waste of breath.

_ “You have around a month left, right?”  _ Junmyeon returns to the topic at hand.

_ “Yeah. Well--a little under.” _

_ “Kay, at least you have enough time. Just make sure to get to 120 references as soon as possible. I assume you will have at least 10 pages more after you are done with that…”  _ Junmyeon’s brows are furrowed in thought, _ “which means we need to find 40 pages to delete. Christ, Kyungsoo, I--really--”  _ Junmyeon bites back a laugh while Kyungsoo stares at him with big, empty eyes that are devoid of any semblance of happiness, “ _ did you get feedback from your supervisor already?”  _ Junmyeon looks affectionately exasperated and nothing short of helpful at the same time. 

_ “Yeah, but nothing that helped with deleting.”  _ Kyungsoo runs a hand through his short, cropped hair in frustration. _ “I got some very good suggestions for my abstract; it’s not concise enough. But he complained about the page count as well.” _

Junmyeon can’t help it; he lets out a dry laugh. _ “Why am I not surprised. Honestly, though, your abstract needs to be the most well written part of your thesis. That and the conclusion are the only parts that will get read by most people once you are done. No one will care about the 115 pages in between--” _

_ “Samee--”  _

Junmyeon ignores the interjection.  _ “Professor Lee might not even read the middle parts; she might just rely on your supervisor’s grading like most do.” _

_ “My supervisor said Professor Lee is one of the rare ones who actually read everything that’s published at her chair,”  _ Kyungsoo argues. _ “No, but otherwise, you’re right. There is a reason the abstract and conclusion are the first parts I wrote. They already went through at least 30 revisions. I’m not even exaggerating. I swear I can recite it word for word.”  _

_ “That last part was exaggeration though, no?”  _ Junmyeon’s just trying to lighten the mood, but Kyungsoo takes a deep breath. 

_ “The use of virtual learning environments for teaching and learning provision is--”  _

_ “Oh, okay, okay.”  _ Junmyeon holds his hands up in surrender while Kyungsoo fixes him with a dead-serious stare. The elder changes the subject.  _ “Actually, I heard that as well about Professor Lee--that she reads everything, I mean. I have huge respect for her for that. I’m not surprised her chair is known for quality publications that have high acceptance rates at A ranked conferences. Which also means her grading is tough, but…”  _ Junmyeon shrugs.  _ “That’s to be expected.”  _

_ “Mhm. You know I wouldn’t want it any other way. At least I’ll know if my work is actually any good.”  _

_ “You do you,”  _ Junmyeon acquiesces. _ “It’s too late for that discussion anyway. Well,”  _ Junmyeon stretches upwards, “ _ I, for one, am not looking forward to reading through your long-winded explanations again. Coming back and putting me right to work, I see…” _

But he will do it nonetheless, Kyungsoo knows. Despite how much Junmyeon grouses and Kyungsoo plays at indifferent, the elder is always willing to help Kyungsoo out at the drop of a hat, be it Jikdo or his thesis. Just the fact that Junmyeon takes the time to bring Kyungsoo lunch and visit him on campus 2-3 times every week says enough about his warmth and support towards his best friend. Kyungsoo might not say it, but in his heart, he’s insanely grateful for the elder’s insight and advice. The shortcomings of being shy and tight-lipped, Kyungsoo supposes. He pats Junmyeon’s knee lightly. 

_ “Best be grateful that I’m not doing a PhD. The page limit for that is even higher.”  _ At this, Junmyeon actually laughs out loud in incredulity. 

_ “As if YOU would go for a PhD. You won’t stay away even another hour more than necessary from your cutie.”  _ Junmyeon doesn’t buy into the empty threat, not for a second. At just the brief unnamed mention, Kyungsoo’s lips curl up at the corners slightly. 

_ “You never know. Maybe I could go for one in the States,”  _ Kyungsoo says, briefly contemplating it for a second. 

_ “Oh, please. I’m already mentally preparing myself to take over the entire maintenance burden for Jikdo. The second we get to the States, you’re going to drop everything to spend every second of the day with that boy. Mark my words, Do Kyungsoo. That--”  _ Junmyeon points to Kyungsoo, who is barely paying attention to Junmyeon’s teasing in favor of thoughts of spending every day with Jongin,  _ “is the epitome of ‘head over heels’. You’re ALL sorts of whipped for that boy.”  _

Kyungsoo can’t really refute that. He quietly reaches out for another one of Jongin’s shirts. 

“Leaving?” Sehun murmurs as he feels the bed shift a little. 

“Yeah. Cya.” 

“Wait--” With a massive effort, Sehun hauls himself out of bed and catches Jongin with one foot out the door. “Jong, eat something.” 

“I don’t have time, class starts--” 

“I bought that on-the-go mango smoothie you really like.” Sehun rubs his eyes sleepily. “It’s in the fridge, go get one, okay?” 

“Oh--okay.” Jongin steps in for a quick hug, and Sehun is too drowsy to resist. “Thank you. Go back to bed. I’ll get it and leave.” He heads towards the kitchen while Sehun ambles back into their bedroom. He’s fast asleep before the front door opens and closes behind Jongin. 

The short walk from the condo to the MDC is relatively cool, but with the promise of another dry, blazing hot day. Jongin nurses his smoothie so that almost all of it is gone by the time he reaches the familiar studio. 

“Good morning,” Jongin greets Karla, the nice lady who works at the front desk and gives Jongin peppermints all the time. 

“Good morning, Kai. How are you today?” she inquires, as is their routine these days while Jongin signs in for all of his classes and studio time. 

“Pretty good. Still half-asleep.” Jongin offers a polite, warm smile. 

“You’ll warm up soon,” Karla encourages. “I hope you don’t mind, but I switched you and Kenzie to Studio 1 today for rather selfish reasons. I love watching you two dance.” 

“Oh!” Jongin blushes hard. “I--yeah, that’s fine, I don’t mind at all.” He inclines his head ever so slightly while Karla laughs at his shyness. “Thank you…” 

“Of course.” Karla drops two peppermints on the counter. “Good luck with your dances this week.” 

“Thank you,” Jongin murmurs again, pocketing the hard candy. “I’ll, uhh, dance hard for you.”

“Please do, dear.” Karla waves him off cheerfully. Jongin’s too busy texting Makenzie to watch where he’s going, and he yelps in surprise and embarrassment when he hits another human being. 

“Sorry,” he apologizes quickly, looking up in surprise to see Eric. “Oh! Hey. Sorry.” 

“You’re good, dude.” Eric stifles a yawn behind his hand. “I’m so fucking tired.” 

“Same. Why are you here so early?” Jongin inquires. 

“Getting all my practice and classes done in the morning so I can sleep for the entire afternoon.” 

“I wish I could do that.” Jongin’s mouth quirks up at the side. “But I’m here for the whole day.” 

“Your loss,” Eric teases, reaching up to ruffle Jongin’s hair. “Too bad you’re such a good dancer that you’re on SYTYCD.” 

“Oh, stop.” Jongin ducks away, waving away the praise. “I’m just taking it as a learning experience.” 

“That’s good, Kai.” Eric shoves both hands into his pockets. “Is MDC treating you well? Seems like it. I saw you on three featured videos the other day when I was stalking all the new choreography videos.” 

“Yes!” Jongin perks up. “It’s amazing here. All the classes are so helpful--I don’t think I’d be able to grasp all of the show choreography if it weren’t for the teachers here. Especially this week. Oh, that reminds me, I need to find Dana…” Jongin murmurs, more to himself than Eric. 

“Dude, you’ve improved a lot. Like during Devin’s hip-hop class that we took together last week? Shit, you caught on like  _ that.” _ Eric snaps his fingers to demonstrate. “Bet you’re gonna win.” 

“What?!” Jongin throws his head back in a fit of laughter. “No way.” 

“Bet.” Eric’s smile is big and goofy. “You can do it.” 

“No way,” Jongin shakes his head vehemently. “Not with Fik-shun and Jasmine there. They’re insane.” 

“But you’re a cute little thing,” Eric flirts easily out of habit, and Jongin blushes hard. “The audience loves you. As they should. And I’ll let you know right now--” Eric leans in conspiratorially with the tiniest of smirks playing on his lips, “Devin  _ really  _ likes you. He told me after class.” 

“Oh, you--you’re tight with him?” 

“Yeah, dude. We’re chill.” Eric shrugs nonchalantly. “And you know how dancer gossip goes. Word gets around the new hip-hop dancer in town is hella cute and super sexy.” Here, Eric makes a point of slowly dragging his eyes down Jongin’s figure appreciatively. “Your routines on SYTYCD are quite… the performance.”

“Um,” Jongin fights hard to hide his blush, “I-I’m not sure I know what to say to that.” 

“Don’t worry, babe. You don’t need to say anything,” Eric smirks. “In fact, you don’t even need to dance. You could probably just sit down in the middle of the stage and get a standing ovation for that adorable face.” At this point, Jongin is absolutely positive he’s bright red from the flattery. Eric has no qualms about his openly flirtatious lines, growing more and more amused as Jongin grows more and more flustered. 

“I’m not sure the producer would like that,” Jongin mumbles. Eric laughs at this and breaks the seductive character. 

“I’m joking, Kai. You’re all good. You’re awesome to hang around; everyone says so.” 

“Thank you,” Jongin whispers, but he  _ is  _ genuinely touched with the (overly) warm welcome that he’s received in the past few weeks. Eric holds his hand out for a high-five, and Jongin takes it. 

“Oh!” Jongin trips over his own feet a little as Eric clutches his hand and pulls Jongin closer to himself. 

“So cute and talented.” Eric smiles while Jongin looks anywhere but Eric’s eyes. “Keep up the good work, babe.” 

“I--I--” 

“Geez, you’re just adorable, aren’t you? I’ll catch you in hip-hop later!” Eric releases him and makes a beeline for the front desk, leaving Jongin standing in the middle of the long hallway absolutely  _ floored.  _

“What was  _ that?”  _ Makenzie comes flying up behind him out of nowhere, splitting her sides with laughter. “Did you just get hit on? Oh, you definitely just got hit on. You look like a tomato.” Jongin splutters incoherently, still trying to process the fact that his best friend’s current go-to hookup just called him cute, babe, and dude all in one conversation. 

“He, he, uhm…” Jongin shakes his head to clear it. “Never mind. Let’s just go to class,” he finishes lamely. Makenzie teases him ruthlessly for the time it takes for Dana, the Jazz instructor for their group masterclass, to arrive. The class focuses a lot on the stylistic and technical nuances of Jazz--something both Jongin and Makenzie had failed to grasp when Sonya had spent five hours yelling at them yesterday--and afterwards, Jongin lingers in the red-walled studio, hoping to get some extra instruction. Dana looks delighted to see him. 

“Kai! How are you? Very good work today,” Dana praises. “Your Jazz is improving from when you first started.” 

“Thanks! And I’m good. I was just wondering if you could help with something?” 

“Yeah, of course.” Dana nods at him, signaling him to elaborate. 

“Kenzie and I have Jazz this week for the show, you know…” 

“Oh? I can’t wait to see it.” 

“We can’t really… get it the way Sonya wants,” Jongin admits. “Your class really helped, but I was wondering--if you have time, that is--could you watch it and maybe show us how to apply those nuances more specifically to our piece?” 

“Yeah! Yeah, Kai, that’s fine. I’d be more than happy to do that. Where’s Kenzie?” 

“Great question.” Jongin looks around the nearly empty room to spot her chatting up another dancer. “Kenzie!” 

“What’s up?” Makenzie half-jogs over to them. 

“Dana said she could take a look at our choreo.” 

“Oh, that’s awesome! We’re really struggling with it.” 

“We have all the steps down,” Jongin elaborates to Dana. “But it’s just--it’s too hip-hoppy for me, or too contemporary for Kenzie. It’s like we can’t catch the feeling of what Jazz is supposed to be. Does that make any sense at all?” 

“I got it.” Dana laughs. “Execution versus mastery, right?” 

“Yeah, exactly.” Jongin snaps his fingers. “That’s what I mean.” 

“Let’s go to the upstairs studio,” Dana suggests. “More privacy. And there’s another class here, so we’ll be kicked out anyways.” 

“Okay.” Jongin grabs his bag from where it’s leaning against the wall, then follows Makenzie and Dana up the stairs into a less auspicious but nonetheless functional studio. 

“Let’s see what Sonya’s cooked up this time.” Dana takes a seat along the mirrors and studies Jongin and Makenzie closely as they run through the routine for her. “Oh, wow.” Dana closes her eyes briefly once the routine is finished. “Wow.” 

“Uh… the… audience liked sexy last time,” Jongin gasps out between breaths, “so we… upped the sexiness.” 

“He’s dancing shirtless this time,” Makenzie elaborates, wiping sweat from her face. 

“I see.” Dana’s brow is furrowed deep in thought. “Well, there’s definitely a sensual connection between you two. It’s just… how to emphasize that…” Dana stands up and slowly walks towards them. “Okay. You know what I was saying in class earlier, about how Jazz is really inventive and exuberant?” Both of them nod. “I think you need to think of it as stricter hip-hop and more relaxed contemporary. The choreography is there to be followed, but what will really make this pop are the emotions and shapes that you two create.” 

“Sonya said that the physical connections between us two are really important,” Jongin supplies, trying to make sense of Dana’s words. “Maybe like, accentuating each extension towards each other?” 

“Yes.” Dana nods approvingly. “So every touch--” Dana grips Jongin’s forearm purposefully, “should emanate with the audience. Even if it’s just as simple as this. And Kenzie, the shape that your body makes--pay attention to that.” 

“Okay.” Makenzie nods. 

“When you lean into Kai, really lay it on, like you’re relying on him to support you. And it’ll boost your sexual appeal as well, especially since the audience will be able to see his muscles and such.” 

“Geez.” Jongin wraps both arms around his clothed torso while Dana and Makenzie turn to him appraisingly. “Okay.” 

“Just think of how happy your boyfriend will be,” Makenzie whispers when they run through the routine again for Dana. 

“Stoppp.” 

“Eric will like it, too.” 

“Gahhh.” Jongin mimes dropping her. 

The video call is not entirely unexpected or unwelcome, but still, Chanyeol sighs as he puts his book down and answers his phone. The connection buffers for just a second, then Baekhyun’s sweet face pops up on screen, nestled in pillows and a thin blanket. Chanyeol smiles. 

“Hey, love.” 

“Hi.” Baekhyun blinks slowly. “How was your day?” 

“It was good.” Chanyeol hums. “Class. Met with my professor. Ate lunch with a friend. You?” 

“Just chilled. Hung out at the studio for most of the day.” Baekhyun hums a small tune. “Yeol?” 

_ “Yes, love.”  _

_ “Could you come down here this weekend?”  _ Baekhyun asks hopefully. 

“I visited you the past three,” Chanyeol’s chuckle is affectionate. “Are you paying my gas money?” 

“I can if it means you’ll be here this weekend.” 

_ “I have to work on my thesis, sweetheart.”  _

“So you’ll be here. That’s settled, then.” Baekhyun sighs happily while Chanyeol opens his mouth to protest, then decides against it. Seems like Baekhyun isn’t falling for his excuses anymore.  _ “Hey…”  _

_ “Yes?”  _

_ “I can’t sleep,”  _ Baekhyun murmurs softly. Chanyeol glances at the clock. 

“Ah, it is pretty late.” 

“Yeah.” Baekhyun sighs. “I’m exhausted, but sleepless.” 

“How can I be of service, m’lady?” 

“Mmmm…” Baekhyun considers for a moment.  _ “What were you doing before I called?”  _

_ “Just reading.”  _ Chanyeol holds up the book at his side for a second before putting it back down. 

_ “My smartie.”  _

“I know.” Chanyeol adjusts his reading glasses while Baekhyun giggles. 

“Read to me, then,” Baekhyun requests. Chanyeol pulls the book towards himself,  suppressing knowing laughter. 

”8 ways to fix Setup violations. Setup violations are essentially where the data is too slow compared to the clock speed at the capture flip-flop. With that in mind, there are several things a designer can do to fix the Setup violations. Method 1. Reduce the amount of buffering in the path. It will reduce the cell delay but increase the wire delay. So if we can reduce more cell delay in comparison to wire delay, the effective stage delay decreases. Method 2. Replace buffers with 2 inverters placed farther apart. Adding 2 inverters in place of 1 buffer, reducing--”

_ “What is this?”  _ Baekhyun protests in whiny Korean. Chanyeol breaks off his monologue to burst into deep, hearty laughter. 

_ “I’m preparing for my interview,” _ he explains to a pouty Baekhyun . “I’m reading a book on Physical Design Engineer interview questions, and apparently they love to ask about the basics, like how to resolve Setup violations.”

_ “I’m definitely going to go to sleep if you read that to me,”  _ Baekhyun grumbles. “I thought it would be romantic, Chan, like… your voice lulling me to sleep with the fantastic tales of a riveting love story? But all I get is timing problems in chip design.” Baekhyun pr etends to wipe a tear from under his eye while Chanyeol silently marvels at how his boyfriend actually understood the topic of his reading. “I just want to be a fanfiction protagonist.” 

“What AU would you be in?” 

“University, duh. Long distance relationship.” Baekhyun smiles. “Slow burn.” 

“Not sure about the slow burn part.” Chanyeol chuckles. 

“Ahhh right. You couldn’t resist me.” Baekhyun preens while Chanyeol’s cheeks tinge slightly pink. “You came onto me so fast, Chanyeollie, it was so obvious. The whole class knew within a week of high school--” 

_ “Looks like it worked, though,” _ Chanyeol counters softly.  _ “I have you for life.”  _

_ “Yeahhhh, baby.”  _ Baekhyun laughs, a cute, delicate tinkle. “But slow burn can be like… two people finally being together, too,” Baekhyun becomes contemplative again. “It doesn’t just have to be about the start of a relationship.” 

“That’s true.” Chanyeol picks up the interview prep book and ruffles through the pages to give his hands something to do.  _ “Take you with me wherever I go,”  _ he murmurs to Baekhyun without looking directly at his phone, precariously propped up against a coffee mug.  _ “Never leaving you again.”  _

_ “I’ll follow.  _ Even though this interview sounds boring as shit.” Baekhyun yawns, which makes Chanyeol yawn widely as well. 

“Getting sleepy?” 

“Yeah. You’re so boring, Chan.” 

“Call me boring when I start making money and buy you puppies and clothes and delicious food,” Chanyeol challenges, and Baekhyun falters because the thought of a future like that is  _ so  _ tempting. Chanyeol loves him  _ so  _ much, and he’s pursuing this dream job not only for himself, but to spoil and pamper Baekhyun as well. The knowledge makes Baekhyun feel like the luckiest boy in the world. 

“I like boring.” Baekhyun declares defeat. Chanyeol chuckles and picks his book up again. 

_ “Close your eyes, love,”  _ Chanyeol tells him.

_ “You gonna mock interview me to sleep?”  _

_ “Yes.”  _ Chanyeol smiles. “So, Chanyeol,” he narrates, and Baekhyun rolls his eyes before closing them. “What is the difference between clock gating and power gating? Well, both clock gating and power gating are methods to reduce the power consumed by an ASIC/SOC/FPGA or any design involving digital logic. In simplest terms, clock gating refers to the process where a particular clock is gated (or stopped) from reaching a set of flops. It implies the load flops on that clock will not consume power from the power supply because of clock activity. However, combinational logic will consume power from the supply. Apart from active current, leakage current will also be consumed by this block.” Baekhyun slowly drifts off, lulled into sleep while his tall, handsome, goofy fiance self-asks and answers interview questions that all blur together into a senseless, but soothing drone. 

“Maybe I am a fanfiction protagonist,” he whispers before sleep overtakes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Life is kicking my ass but it's okay :3 How are you all? And how was the update? And how cool is the work skin? And how amazing is Aranee, because she did all of that AND also wrote a bunch of parts for the chapter this time!  
>  ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅  
>  Thank you Aranee~  
>  Also, Eric is the funniest fucking character to write, and he's not even EXO Ensemble ;-; but his character is just _chef's kiss_ I hope you all like the side pairings as well, because I think they're cute af :3  
>  Okay that's it for now! We'll hopefully be back soon! Hope you enjoyed! I love you! XOXO! Please support Taemin's comeback! Please manifest KOLO 2020! Please stay safe and take care of your health :))))
> 
> Did Chanyeol studying for his interview also put you to sleep? I think it's quite fascinating what he reads about, even if it's just the basics. They always ask about the basics.
> 
> I had some fun with the work skin. How did you like Jongin's note? I tried to make the chat look like 2013 WhatsApp on Android, so if it looked a little ancient to you, that's why. We are in 2013 after all. If you have issues with the work skin displaying, please let me know in the comments and I'll try to fix it (or just tell us how you like it)~
> 
> I'm beyond hyped for Taemin's comeback, the teasers look lit and I can't wait for the single to finally be released! Too bad we are still 7 years away from this moment in the story, or we might see Jongin cover 2 Kids (counting on you here, canon Jongin)!
> 
> Thank you for reading and hopefully see you soon <3.


	22. there are two types of competitions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Italic_ speech is Korean.

_ “I’m going to flip the experimental flag for the chat improvements for 5% of our tutor user base now, is that OK?” _ Kyungsoo looks at his business partner and best friend from his seat at Junmyeon’s kitchen table in the elder’s apartment.

_ “Woah.” _ Junmyeon’s tone is dry and half-amused. _ “Look at you, adopting proper roll-out practices.”  _

_ “Was I that bad before?” _ Kyungsoo inquires; Junmyeon doesn’t bother answering, instead furrowing his brows about something on his screen. _ “Nevermind. How are our user statistics this week?” _

_ “Didn’t grow, but we didn’t lose any either. Our 7 day active and 30 day active user numbers have been stable for a few weeks now. It’s not what we had hoped for, but at least the users we gained seem to like it enough to stick around so far.” _

Kyungsoo sighs heavily. _ “I am really at a loss as to what we should do. Why are we not gaining new users? Are we missing something? Is there something we should add or subtract?” _

Junmyeon rolls his eyes.  _ “Why are you asking me? If I had all the answers, we wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.”  _ His answers are short and curt, seeing as he’s focused on whatever is making his brows furrow like that. 

_ “Luhan conducted surveys just last week and found that no deal-breaker features are missing for our existing user base. We even have some discounts running for new users.”  _ Kyungsoo sighs and leans his head against his hand as he sorts through his thoughts out loud. Junmyeon barely pays him any attention. Kyungsoo changes the subject.  _ “What are you up to?” _

Junmyeon’s lips have formed a thin line, as they always do when the elder is frustrated out of his mind.  _ “I’ve been fighting Neutron for some hours now and so far it seems like I’ll still lose in the end.” _

_ “Is that one of your OpenStack things again?” _ Kyungsoo inquires.

_ “The bane of my existence.” _

_ “That is allll on you.” _ Kyungsoo raises his hands in a gesture of innocence.  _ “Watching you, I am eternally grateful that I never bothered with operations.” _

_ “We’d have less issues if you had at least bothered with it a tiny bit in university.” _ Junmyeon’s being snappy today, but Kyungsoo realizes it’s also because Junmyeon still hasn’t exactly completely forgiven him for the incident he caused a couple of weeks ago. Kyungsoo hastily changes the subject before Junmyeon can shade him again. 

_ “I’ll, uh, I’ll talk to Luhan later again to check user priorities on what to tackle next. Today I’ll probably try to do some backend optimizations for the whiteboard. Seems like we still have some memory issues. At least users notice that it gets slower and slower the longer they use it, including UI glitches after a while. Memory would be my first guess, but I’ll see.” _

_ “Sounds good. Say hi to Luhan from me.” _

_ “Sure.”  _ Kyungsoo stretches upwards leisurely in his seat. _ “Hyung, what’s for dinner?” _

_ “Why are you changing the topic so quickly?”  _ Junmyeon sighs. 

_ “Why are you in such a bad mood?”  _ Kyungsoo counters. 

_ “Well, geez. Let’s see. Neutron is an absolute shitfest. I only got three hours of sleep last night. I haven’t eaten all day, so don’t ask me about food. And we haven’t even mentioned your novel of a master’s thesis.” _ Junmyeon rubs his eyes wearily.  _ “You’re adding pages faster than we delete them.” _

_ “I only have to find 5 more sources and then I’m done.” _ Kyungsoo is unperturbed by Junmyeon’s mini rant. In fact, some tiny little devilish part of his brain kind of likes seeing Junmyeon flustered, because the elder is usually so calm and put together. That’s not to say he doesn’t feel bad for Junmyeon, but Kyungsoo knows a little bit of attitude might even put him in a better mood.

_ “I already hate the sound of that.” _

_ “I love you, too. So what’s for dinner?” _ Kyungsoo looks at Junmyeon for an answer, but the latter seems to ignore him just like he had done earlier, furrowing his brows even deeper at his screen. After a minute, Kyungsoo gets impatient. _ “Myeonnie?” _

_ “I just got an email.” _

_ “Congratulations. What’s for dinner?” _

_ “You don’t understand. I just got an email. From our lawyer.” _

It takes Kyungsoo a few seconds, his heart and mind still set on Junmyeon making his kimchi-jjigae. Their lawyer. Then it hits him. Their US lawyer. The one handling their visa applications. Kyungsoo’s eyes widen.  _ “What does it say?” _

_ “I don’t know. I haven’t had the heart to click on it yet.” _ Kyungsoo rises from his chair and grips the back of Junmyeon’s seat, leaning over the elder’s shoulder to look at his inbox.

_ “Click on it,” _ Kyungsoo urges. Junmyeon’s hand is shaking a little on his mouse.  _ “For fuck’s sake, Myeon.” _ Kyungsoo reaches for the touchpad and clicks on the email, even though his own heart is beating twice as fast as it was ten seconds ago. It seems as if both of them find the answer that they’re looking for at the same time, because a cry bursts out of Junmyeon’s lips the same time Kyungsoo exhales shakily. 

“Oh my God.” Junmyeon says it in English, letting his head drop into his hands relievedly. Kyungsoo grips his shoulder tightly. 

_ “Got it, you got it,” _ Kyungsoo murmurs, keeping his voice as steady as possible. _ “It’s okay now.”  _

_ “Did we read it wrong?” _ Junmyeon asks the inside of his palms. 

_ “Who let you graduate?” _ Kyungsoo jeers cheerfully, leaning in to read the email a little more closely this time. 

“Junmyeon Kim, your application has been approved by the USCIS…” Junmyeon slurs all his words together intelligibly. “Next steps,  _ blah blah blah _ … visa interview…” 

_ “You got it, Myeonnie.” _ Kyungsoo’s heart is both light and heavy at the same time. 

_ “One out of two,” _ Junmyeon says quietly, looking up at Kyungsoo. Of course he would think about Kyungsoo only seconds after receiving his H1-B. 

“I am talk about YOU, Junmyeon Kim.” Kyungsoo beams as Junmyeon brushes hair out of his eyes, looking a thousand times lighter than he was two minutes ago. “Bad day? Bad mood?” 

_ “Fuck off.”  _ Junmyeon stands up and wraps Kyungsoo in a giant, tight bear hug. _ “Thank God.”  _

“So happy for you,” Kyungsoo continues to make a conscious effort to speak English. Even in Junmyeon’s happiest moments, Kyungsoo’s always there to frustrate him to no end. “You have to learn English now, Myeonnie.” 

“I know some.” 

“Not good enough.” Kyungsoo chuckles. 

_ “Now we just have to wait for yours,”  _ Junmyeon tells the younger. 

_ “We’ll see, okay?” _ Kyungsoo’s undeniably over the moon that Junmyeon has received his visa, but the happiness is also bittersweet. He’s not a selfish person, but… 

_ “You will get it. You have to get one.” _ Junmyeon speaks as if he’s trying to will the words into reality. 

_ “We’ll see.” _ Kyungsoo wraps his arms around Junmyeon and belatedly squeezes him tightly.  _ “At least we know you’re going.”  _

“And SHARP! 6, 7, 8--very nice!” Sonya’s booming approval comes from the corner of the dance studio, where they are rehearsing for the final time before filming starts in just a few hours.

“Well, that’s a first,” Makenzie mutters under her breath while upside down in the air, supported only by Jongin’s arms. Jongin tries to laugh, breathe, and pull a smirk all at the same time, which obviously fails. He settles for just the last two options, setting Kenzie down neatly and transitioning into their opposing choreography. 

“Awesome!” Sonya claps her hands together loudly. “Seems like all the time you guys spent taking extra lessons really helped.” 

“Yeah,” Jongin agrees, brushing his hair back off of his forehead. His bare chest has gotten even more tanned and toned in the past couple weeks of one-track minded dancing, and his muscles ripple as he catches his breath. Jongin’s almost positive that the camera on the far right is zooming in on his abs. He fights the urge to cross his arms over his chest. 

“Anything else you guys want to cover? If not, I’ll let you go so you can do your little,” Sonya waves her hands around, “quirky interview.” 

“I think we’re good?” Makenzie looks to Jongin, who nods in agreement. 

“Great. So then just do what you just showed me out on the stage tonight, yeah? Proud of you.” Jongin steps in for a round of high-fives, then dons a shirt and heads over to his next schedule. 

“Kai, you’re here,” the director greets him as he steps into the interview room. “Same old setup, you know the drill by now.” 

“Yep.” He settles himself on the red couch and glances around at the cameras facing him. “This one, or…?” He gestures to one of multiple lenses trained on him. 

“Yep.” Jongin fluffs up his bangs while he waits for everyone to get settled. The rehearsal was pretty quick, and the air conditioner is always excessively cold in this building, so he isn’t too sweaty. Or so he hopes. The director glances at Jongin, then down at his clipboard. 

“For this week, could you just talk casually about your first performance on stage?” Having received the prompt, Jongin considers it for a moment before nodding. 

“Camera?” 

“Roll.” 

“Audio?” 

“Spin.” 

“Ready?” The director looks at Jongin, who nods. “Action.” 

Jongin leans forward with a little nostalgic smile on his lips. “My first performance was a ballet recital at my dance studio back in Boston.” He can still picture it in his head. “It’s kind of stereotypical, but I was one of the mice for ‘The Nutcracker’. I remember they had all of us run around in a line behind each other. But the problem was we kept tripping over each other’s tails.” Jongin’s smile grows into a genuine laugh of amusement. “My mother has a video of me stepping on the tail of the kid in front of me, and then he turns around and pushes me. It’s kind of embarrassing, but it’s also really cute.” He just has to wrap it up now. “I think I’ve come a long way since then. Not sure about that one, though.” He sprouts a goofy grin and shy little wink. 

“Cut!” The room fills with aww’s and laughter from the camera crew. “Perfect, Kai. I don’t think we’ll need to do another take, but sit tight for a little just in case.” 

“Okayyy.” Jongin’s hands and arms move of their own accord, running over his performance choreography while the crew reviews the footage. The single charm on his bracelet jingles, and Jongin glances down at it with affection. This morning, he had woken up to a pretty bouquet of sunflowers sitting on the kitchen table and no trace of Sehun except for the messy note next to the vase. 

from ur boy toy .-. what am i, his errand runner? 

But Jongin knows that Sehun doesn’t really care, and that he secretly thinks Kyungsoo’s gestures are sweet. 

“Kai?” The director calls. “You’re all good, unless you would like to do another take.” 

“I’m fine with that one.” Jongin looks up from running the pad of his finger into the engraving of Kyungsoo’s initials. 

“Awesome. Could you send Kenzie in when you leave? Thank you, Kai.” 

“Thank you,” Jongin bows and rushes out. “Talk about your first performance,” he reports to Kenzie, who is sitting against the wall, stabbing at a salad with a fork. She stands up and shoves the fork and salad into Jongin’s hands. “Can I eat this?” Jongin calls after her. 

“No! It’s poisoned!” Jongin takes a bite anyways.

_ This happens way too often,  _ Jongin thinks as he taps his foot impatiently backstage and drapes an arm around Jenna while both of them peer at the live footage on the TV. Yet again, somehow Makenzie and Alan have fallen into the Bottom 6. 

“Why?” Jongin asks nobody in particular. 

“You know what I hate sometimes? SYTYCD isn’t always just about hard work and talent,” Jenna chimes in. “There’s also a huge popularity aspect to it, too.” 

“But the entertainment industry is just that,” Jongin argues. “Like it or not, popularity and visuals play a part in the success of somebody’s performing arts career.” 

“But it’s not fair to them,” Jenna raises an eyebrow. “Kenzie and Alan. Just because they’re not favored by voting audiences doesn’t mean they did any worse that week in terms of technicality.” 

“I know it’s not fair,” Jongin sighs as the judges send all three men--including Alan--away without asking them to perform a solo. Their fate will be decided at the end of this week’s performances. “I’m not trying to argue that it’s fair. Hey,” Jongin calls to Alan, who joins him and Jenna, looking thoroughly depressed. “It’s cool, you’ll be fine. As long as the judges like you. And they do.” Alan doesn’t say anything as Jenna leans her head against his shoulder comfortingly. 

“Makenzie, we’ll save you this week,” Nigel is saying, and Jongin lets out a huge breath of relief as Makenzie breaks away from the two other girls still on stage and rushes backstage. 

“Yayyy,” Jongin embraces her relievedly. “Lucky gal.” 

“I really hate this,” Makenzie looks like a huge weight has been lifted off her shoulders, but she’s still visibly upset. “This is the second week in a row that Alan and I have been Bottom 6. And not to mention this is literally my third time out of five weeks of broadcast that I’ve barely gotten out alive.” 

“Exactly.” Alan’s lips unlock as Makenzie rants. “Same here. And the thing is, whenever we get feedback, the judges always say that they don’t understand why we’re in Bottom 6 when we’re so talented. But the thing is, it still doesn’t help you when you’re in that situation and all you can think about is what is the damn POINT of even dancing that week if you’re about to get eliminated by the end of filming?” 

“I know, right?!” With a shock, Jongin realizes that Makenzie has tears in the corners of her eyes. He’s never seen Makenzie without a smile on her face, cracking her jokes, and teasing everyone in the room. The hurt in her voice drives a knife through Jongin’s chest. “It’s such a shitty feeling. And it’s just week after week after week of getting shit on. I don’t think I slack off--” 

“You don’t slack off,” Jongin cuts in, voice surprisingly calm and steady. “Nobody here slacks off. If you slacked off, you would’ve been eliminated five weeks ago.” Alan closes his eyes and sighs heavily. “Hey. Both of you, look at me.” Makenzie and Alan turn towards him reluctantly. “I can’t claim to know how either of you feel, because I’ve been lucky enough to not fall into Bottom 6. But recognize that the show places pressure on you, regardless of what place you are.” Jongin bites his lip. “Every week when I make it out safe, there’s always this huge part of me that wonders if I made it because I danced really well, or if it’s because of… of how I look. And I know that sounds REALLY self-conceited--” 

“No,” Alan’s shaking his head. “I get it. I get where you’re going with this.” 

“Exactly. There’s just no way of knowing what the audience’s criterion is for voting for us. So… so the best thing to do is just focus on one performance at a time, regardless of where you are in the show. Because those things are beyond your control. The only thing you can control is showing the judges--the professionals--your technical prowess. No matter what, you’re still improving and learning on the show,” Jongin stresses. “That’s why you’re dancing.” 

“But you want to win. Don’t you want to win, Kai?” Jenna challenges him. 

“...Yeah.” Jongin admits it. “Okay. Then your every performance is for your final chance to be on stage. To leave the best possible impression that you can, just in case you don’t get another opportunity. Because no matter how far you go, you want to give your all and finish what you started.” 

“Dude.” Alan’s staring at him. “Did you take a philosophy class?” 

“No, I…” Jongin trails off and blushes hard. “I got it from my boyfriend,” he mutters so quietly that only Makenzie hears. His partner bursts into laughter and slithers out of Jongin’s grasp on her hand so sit down on the floor in hysterics. 

“What’d you say?” Alan and Jenna look at Jongin, bewildered, while Makenzie slaps his thigh and gasps for breath. 

“Nothing.” Jongin smiles sheepishly. “Just… don’t beat yourself up so much.” 

“I think we’re all feeling really stressed the further we get into the competition,” Jenna offers. “Venting is totally okay. It’s understandable.” Jongin nods in agreement. 

“We have to perform in 30 minutes,” Kenzie is still on the floor. “I’m all vented out.” 

“Okay. Let’s rehearse.” Jongin pulls Kenzie off of the floor. 

“Yeah.” Alan sighs heavily. “Thanks, guys.” 

“Bravo!” That’s Nigel as Jongin and Makenzie hit their final pose under the dazzling shine of the spotlight. Jongin’s chiseled body is on full display for the eyes of the audience, judges, and cameras trained on him, but he has lived up to his strong and lithe figure with his and Makenzie’s powerful performance.  _ This body is not just eye candy,  _ Jongin’s performance screams.  _ This body is a product of hard work and sacrifice.  _

“Riveting,” the judges say. “I couldn’t take my eyes off of you two.” 

“Makenzie, I just don’t know why you keep falling into Bottom 6. There is no justification whatsoever,” Nigel stresses, and even though Makenzie had agreed with Alan in saying that the words are barely reassuring, she still smiles gratefully and blinks back tears. Jongin pulls her closer in a silent action of comfort. He heaves a sigh when the two of them make it backstage. 

“It’s okay,” Jongin consoles her. “We made it through another one.” 

“What if it’s our last?” Makenzie asks. 

“Then we leave knowing we did our absolute best.” But Jongin’s heart clenches at the thought of leaving the stage. The two of them sit side by side on the couch, too tired to take makeup and costumes off, watching anxiously until Alan bursts into tears and hides his face on screen when he passes on to week number six. Jongin sighs as he packs things up, gives all his friends a nice, tight hug, and starts on the short walk back to the condo under the light of an almost full moon. It seems that the competition is really starting to get to everyone, including himself. Sehun isn’t home when Jongin returns, which means he’s probably over at Eric’s or some other hookup’s place. Jongin takes a shower and uses one of the nice-smelling K-beauty face masks that Kyungsoo bought for him before wandering into the kitchen to hunt for food. His ‘Replay’ ringtone begins sounding while Jongin’s warming up midnight macaroni and cheese, and he leaves the microwave in order to answer his phone. 

“Babeeee,” Jongin sets the phone on speaker so he doesn’t have to press it to his ear and face mask-covered cheek. “Hiiii.” 

“Hello, dear.” Kyungsoo sounds tired, but happy to hear Jongin.  _ “How was your show?”  _

_ “I made it again. But there is…  _ oof, sorry, I don’t know how to say it in Korean. There’s a lot of tension.” Jongin heaves a sigh as he talks with as little facial movement as possible so as to not move the face mask too much. “We’re down to Top 12 now, so we’re almost halfway done. It’s getting tougher to keep up.” 

_ “Understandable. Are you okay? Not too stressed? Just focus on one dance at a time, remember?”  _

“I’m okay for now,” Jongin murmurs as the microwave beeps. “OW!” He yanks his hand back from the bowl. 

“Nini?” It’s half amusing, half endearing how quickly Kyungsoo starts worrying. 

“Hot!” 

_ “You? Yes.” _

_ “No.  _ The mac n’ cheese.” 

_ “Wah. I hate that I’m surprised that you’re eating.”  _

“I’m hungry,” Jongin whines. 

_ “Please eat all you want,”  _ Kyungsoo’s smile can be heard.  _ “You need to eat more, love.”  _

“I’m eating now,” Jongin promises, gingerly taking the bowl out of the microwave with a stack of napkins and setting it on the kitchen table. The face mask gets peeled off, the essence patted into his cheeks, and Jongin brings the phone over to the table as well. “Hyungie, can you video call?” 

“Yes~” Kyungsoo hangs up then calls back.  _ “Ah, there’s my gorgeous sweetheart.”  _

“You have to stop,” Jongin murmurs, blushing pink. “Sehun keeps calling me easy.” 

“You are.” Kyungsoo raises one thick eyebrow, and Jongin finds it much cuter than it is meant to be. “Easy.” 

“Only… only for you,” Jongin concedes, stabbing his fork into his makeshift dinner and blowing before taking a bite. Kyungsoo watches him in all of his damp haired, pajama-clad, bare-faced glory. The elder has such a tender look on his face that when Jongin looks up at the camera and catches sight of his expression, he stops chewing. 

“Is… something wrong?” Jongin asks bewilderedly. 

“Hmm? No. Nothing.” Kyungsoo motions for him to keep eating.  _ “Actually, no. I did call you for a reason.”  _

“Yeah? I’m here.” 

_ “Junmyeon-hyung got his H1-B today.”  _ Kyungsoo decides it’s best to just drop the bomb. Jongin swallows his mouthful of cheesy pasta and blinks twice. 

“What about Junmyeon-ssi?” 

_ “Received. His. Visa.”  _ Kyungsoo speaks slowly for Jongin. 

“Oh. Oh, shit.” Jongin’s attention is diverted away from his midnight snack and onto Kyungsoo. “Well, that’s really good for him!” 

“Yes, it is.” 

“He must be really relieved.” 

“Yes.” Kyungsoo studies Jongin’s face carefully. 

“And you?” Jongin asks carefully. He never knows with Kyungsoo, the elder tends to be really good at hiding his facial expressions… But Kyungsoo just presses his lips tightly together and jerks his head side to side very briefly. 

“Not… yet.” 

“Oh.” Jongin tries to quell the small amount of panic that rises in his chest. “Oh.” 

_ “You don’t need to worry,”  _ Kyungsoo is quick to do damage control.  _ “Like I’ve said before, just focus on your show. Please don’t worry about me, sweetheart.”  _

“I’m worrying,” Jongin points his fork at the screen threateningly. “No matter what you tell me.” 

_ “You’ll make me sad if you worry, Nini.”  _

“That’s such a guilt trip.” Jongin pouts. “Hyung, what’s the… success rate for this year?” 

_ “About 50 percent receive a visa,”  _ Kyungsoo tells him quietly; and Jongin wouldn't’ need to have gotten an A in his statistics class to know the implications of that. 

“Hyung.” Jongin’s heart feels like it has dropped into the ground. “What if--you don’t--can’t return--” 

_ “God, honey, you ask such difficult questions,”  _ Kyungsoo tells him helplessly.  _ “I don’t know.”  _ He runs a hand through his hair frustratedly.  _ “It’s not fair if I don’t tell you, but I’m so worried about your emotional condition when I do tell you.”  _

“I’m fine,” Jongin insists. “I just miss you,” his voice cracks. “Please…” He doesn’t even know what he’s begging for. Kyungsoo feels an irrational burst of anger run through him, because he just can’t give Jongin a definite answer. He hates this feeling of being stuck in limbo, unsure of his plans for the rest of the year. Not to mention that he has no idea what he’ll do if things don’t go as planned. Kyungsoo’s not used to feeling so helpless and out of control. 

“Well.” Jongin speaks after a minute of brooding silence. “Just… keep me updated.” 

“Okay.” 

“I’m happy for Junmyeon-ssi,” Jongin says softly. “I really am.” 

_ “Aish, I know, Nini.”  _ Kyungsoo reassures him.  _ “You’re not a bitter person. I know.”  _

“I’d just be happier if you got yours, too.” 

_ “Preach to the choir.”  _

“What?” 

_ “I would be happy, too,”  _ Kyungsoo deadpans.  _ “Eat, Jongini, eat.”  _

“Lost my appetite,” Jongin sighs, but scoops up another forkful because he knows Kyungsoo will wheedle and worry and refuse to hang up. 

_ “Do you feel like telling me about your day?”  _ Kyungsoo presses gently. They’re both worried and ruminating, but time spent FaceTiming is still precious. 

“Thank you for the sunflowers,” Jongin murmurs, a hint of his smile showing through his anxious facial expression. “They’re so pretty.” 

_ “Anything for you,”  _ Kyungsoo promises, and he means every word.

It’s early morning when Sehun returns to the condo. The sound of running water eventually wakes up a very grumpy Jongin, who emerges from the covers with long, messy hair sticking up all over the place and sleep-swollen eyes. 

“Morning,” Sehun greets him, stepping out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. Jongin blinks at him. 

“Goomorningggg.” He falls back into bed and curls himself into a blanket, blearily watching Sehun towel off and dry his hair. “Wuzzit Eric?” He slurs, still half-asleep. 

“Last night? Nah, just some random dude.” Sehun shrugs. “Really cute. Likes--” 

“No.” Jongin groans. “I really don’t need to hear about every single one.”

“Sorry I woke you up. You can go back to sleep if you like.” 

“No, it’s--it’s fine.” With a massive effort, Jongin rolls out of bed and onto the floor before dragging himself up like a baby deer. Sehun tsks. 

“15 years and counting.” 

“Of what?” Jongin asks, rubbing his eyes and reaching out for his phone. 

“Of you falling out of bed every morning.” 

“It’s just a habit,” Jongin murmurs, busy smiling at whatever good morning text Kyungsoo had sent that day. While Jongin leans against the bed, quietly giggling to himself and presumably flirting with his boy toy, Sehun hums and reaches for something on the vanity dresser, clasping it around his wrist. 

“Hey, where’d you get that?” Jongin speaks up suddenly, startling Sehun. He hadn’t even realized the elder was watching him out of the corner of his eye.

“Get what?” 

“This.” Jongin waves him over, grabs Sehun’s right wrist, and examines the simple leather bracelet held by a metal clasp. “It looks really well made. I don’t remember you ever owning something like this.” 

“It was a gift,” Sehun says quietly, fiddling with the two thin criss-crossing cords. 

“From who?” Jongin looks incredulous. “I want people to buy me gifts like this, damn. Didn’t know you had such a good friend here.” 

“Ask your boy toy, he’ll probably buy you five.” 

“Who gave you this?” Jongin insists, ignoring the jab. 

“Jgdehyng.” 

“Huh?” 

“Jongdae,” Sehun murmurs, turning the bracelet around and around on his wrist. Jongin looks up at him and fixes him with somewhat of a stern look that has Sehun trying to smother a smile. “What?” 

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Jongin sighs, examining the bracelet closely. “What’s the occasion?” 

“He--” Sehun hesitates. “He and Seojun got back together.” 

“Huh.” 

“He wanted to thank me for… staying over, and…” Sehun sighs deeply. “Giving him advice and all that. So… yeah.” He gently pulls away from Jongin, who lets his hands drop into his lap. “He said that even if I didn’t want it as a token of gratitude, I could just have it as a souvenir.” 

“Seems to me like you are taking it as something else,” Jongin observes. “I noticed when you started wearing it, but I didn’t ask. I assumed you had bought it for yourself or something.” 

“Yeah. No.” Sehun responds to each question with simple, tight-lipped, one-worded answers. Jongin bites his lip, looking worried for his best friend. 

“Sehunnie, I’m sorry.” 

“What are you sorry for?” Sehun turns away so he can pat moisturizer on his cheeks. 

“That you’re still… I dunno… pining.” At this, Sehun closes his eyes and sighs heavily. 

“Well, that’s not your fault. Something like this doesn’t go away overnight. Believe me.” 

“But are you okay?” Jongin presses. 

“He’s happy,” is all Sehun says, and Jongin thinks that has to be the most on brand thing Sehun has ever said. He rises from his half-sitting position on the bed and drapes his arms around Sehun’s broad shoulders, leaning his chin into the soft junction between Sehun’s shoulder and neck. Sehun winces. 

“Your chin is so fucking sharp.” 

“Poor you,” Jongin sighs, tilting his head to lean against Sehun’s. Sehun cracks a rare smile. 

“You’re more depressed than I am about this.” 

“I just feel so bad for you,” Jongin laments. “Are you sure you’re okay? I’m always here if you want to talk--” 

“I know, Jong.” To appease the anxious, clingy dancer, Sehun awkwardly reaches over and pats Jongin’s head a few times. “And maybe I will. But later.” 

“Okay.” Jongin withdraws. “I have to go to class.” 

“Kay.” 

“Where are you going today?” Jongin inquires. 

“Probably nowhere. Maybe I’ll study.” 

“You STUDY?” Jongin’s jaw drops. “Sehun, are you SURE you’re okay?” 

“I’ve been bored these days,” Sehun defends himself. “Studying now means more time for hookups later.” 

“That’s really questionable logic, but alright.” 

But however studious Sehun had planned his day to be, he only manages to get an hour into a dull textbook until his phone vibrates. He reaches for it immediately, grateful for anything like a distraction. 

MDC asshole 

wyd 

lmao why ask 

u horny? 

not enough dick lately? 

.-. fuck u 

i’m doing fine tyvm 

tonight ? 

;) only if i get to top 

u 

wish 

if im not top im not coming 

since u said ur doing fine 

bye 

so u literally turn down perfectly good dick just bc u dont get to assert your half assed dominance? 

??? 

u flatter yourself with that description 

dude 

ask

the guy 

last night about how good my dick was 

bet 

why would I bother 

exactly 

y would u bother when u can find out urself 

am not bottoming tonight

top or none 

dude 

up to u 

sigh 

u wanna play smth 

??? 

meet me at the club 

??? 

wtf 

come 

:^)

just come 

no.

9:00 

k 

“Where are you going?” Jongin asks, too tired to move from his position on the couch after a long day of practices, but still full of concern when Sehun emerges from his room looking like he’s ready to go somewhere in his collared shirt and ripped jeans. 

“A club.” 

“Alone?” Jongin questions, barely looking up from his phone. 

“Nope.”

“With who?” 

“Who do you think?” 

“JONGDAE?” Jongin screeches, clutching at the pillow leaning against his bare chest and bolting straight up from the couch.

“Did you think that through very well?” Sehun lets out a short, amused laugh at just the thought. 

“Oh, whew.” Jongin sits back against the cushions again, only to bolt right back up. “Eric?” 

“Ye.” 

“Is this--” 

“A date? Hell. No.” Sehun edges closer to the door. “I’m leaving.” 

“When will you be back?” 

“Depends on the fuck.” 

“Call me if you get in trouble, okay?” Jongin frets. “Text me wherever you are.” 

“As if you would wake up,” Sehun teases him good naturedly. Jongin tilts his head to the side and pouts. 

“But tell me where you are!” 

“You are JUST like your mother, I swear to God.” 

“I’ll tell her you said that, she’ll be so happy.” Jongin giggles and turns his attention back to his phone. “Have fun.” 

“What’s this about?” Sehun asks, reaching out to grab a handful of Eric’s ass as he comes up from behind the man. Eric barely flinches, so Sehun keeps on squeezing. Tight black skinny jeans really work wonders.

“Thought of a game,” Eric says absently, still texting someone. “One sec.” 

“You really like your games,” Sehun comments, one hand still cupping a buttcheek. Someone eyes the duo as they pass by. Sehun deliberately makes eye contact and squeezes his handful. Eric shakes him off nonchalantly and takes a step forward. 

“M’not into exhibitionism.” 

“Tell me that the next time you decide to fuck right outside of your dance studio.” 

“Fuck off.” Eric finishes texting and shoves his phone into his pocket. “Finally. I hate clingy hookups.” 

“Mmm. Same.” 

“Anyways,” Eric clears his throat a little. “We go inside. We’ll both set a stopwatch. First to get a blowjob wins.” Sehun considers this for a minute. His competitive spirit is already rising to the bait. 

“Like, dick in mouth? We stop the timer when the blowjob starts?” Sehun clarifies, and Eric nods in confirmation. “What’s my prize?”

“Whoever wins can top,” Eric suggests, and Sehun raises an impressed eyebrow. 

“I like that.” 

“Yeah, cause you like bottoming,” Eric shoots. Sehun throws him a side eye and fiddles with his watch. 

“Whenever you’re ready.” 

“Ready.” Eric sets the stopwatch on his phone. “Start.” Sehun’s hand goes right back on Eric’s ass as they walk into the club rather leisurely for a time-based competition. “The fuck, dude?” 

“Just touchin.” Sehun pulls away with the intent to find his blowjob, but Eric stays right next to him. “What are you doing?” 

“Dude, can you dance?” 

“No.” Compared to Eric, Sehun can’t.

“C’mon. Bet you can dance.” 

“This is why I fucking hate going to the club with dancers,” Sehun grumbles.

“I’m telling Kai you said that. Here, stop the time. Just half a song.” 

“Don’t tell him.” Sehun follows Eric to the dance floor and pulls him close like he always does with potential one night stands on any given night at the club. Eric promptly follows his lead, pushing back against Sehun’s hips and keeping up a smooth, steady grind right against his crotch. Sehun lets himself relax into the loud, heavy bass of the music, the feeling of arousal that’s starting to crawl all over his damp skin, and the ball of tight, heady heat that pools in the pit of his stomach with every languid movement. 

“Shit,” Sehun breathes, rolling upwards to meet Eric’s clever hips. Eric chuckles lowly when Sehun places both hands on Eric’s hips to feel him more against the layers of fabric separating them. 

“Just a preview.” Eric tilts his face upwards. Sehun kisses him with an edge of competitive fierceness, right in the middle of the crowded dance floor. “You’re good at dancing, dude.” 

“Uh huh. I’m leaving now.” Sehun pulls away and taps his watch to start the time again just as Eric does the same. “Bye, cutie.” 

“He dump you?” Eric feels a too-hot human body press against his backside almost immediately after Sehun melts into the dark silhouettes of people. “He’s missing out.” 

“Mmm?” Eric moves subtly against this strange newcomer, glancing behind himself only briefly to check that it’s not some weird pervert. “Yeah, he left.” He can play demure, if it means he gets to win. 

“Care to give me a dance, then?” Eric wiggles into the man’s backside with a few lazy body rolls. 

“Like this?” 

Sehun pushes through the crowd of people until he gets to his preferred spot against the wall. He leans against the unyielding brick and watches, watches the shadowy figures dance and grind and scream. Normally, he’d take some more time to pick and choose, but he’s not exactly bringing anyone home tonight, and he also figures he definitely can’t waste more than a few minutes. So he hones in on a group of friends dancing together, surges back into the crowd almost effortlessly, and lightly places his hand on the shoulder of the boy he had noticed. Immediately, he turns around and his eyes go wide at the sight of Sehun in his collared shirt with the first three buttons carelessly left open, his long legs encased in tight ripped jeans, and the white fashion sneakers on his feet. Tall, mysterious city boy--obviously not from the area--but that’s just what adds to the appeal. The boy’s friends are either laughing and teasing him, or openly ogling Sehun. Sehun pulls on his shoulder a little more insistently and leans down slightly to murmur into his ear. 

“Want a good time, cutie?” The boy shivers, nods, and lets himself be pulled away from his group of friends, which are curled over in hysterics. “Dance with me?” Sehun asks, and the boy hesitantly turns around to fit himself against Sehun. It becomes painfully clear to Sehun that the shorter male has little, if not no experience at all, but Sehun only smiles and brings his wrist close to his face to check the time. A little over five minutes. Eric can’t have moved on that fast, right? Sehun startles when the boy turns around and hesitantly clutches the sides of Sehun’s shirt. Apparently Sehun’s practiced rolls against his backside had already caused quite a stir in his pants, as Sehun pulls flush against the boy’s front. Sehun drags a hand through the boy’s long, dirty blonde hair distractedly. 

“Cutie, have you ever even been kissed before?” Sehun would normally be nicer about the question, but he’s in a bit of a rush. The boy nods at this, but leans in to explain himself. 

“Today’s my birthday. My first time in a club,” he elaborates to Sehun over the music. 

“Happy birthday,” Sehun purrs, lips centimeters away from the boy’s ear. He shivers and presses closer to Sehun. Fuck, he’s cute. If Sehun weren’t in a hurry, he would absolutely take him home. But something tells him that this boy isn’t going to give him what he wants. “You’re real cute, you know that?” Sehun has to deescalate what he promised, even though he feels bad for coming on so strongly. The shorter male blushes. “Got your phone on you? Let me give you my number. Text me if you’re bored,” Sehun whispers hotly, “I swear I’ll carry out on that promise.” Luckily, the boy doesn’t protest, just hands his phone over to let Sehun punch in his digits. “I’ll see you soon.” And as fast as he had approached, he slips off into the crowd again to let the boy worm back to his group of friends to brag. 

“Let me take you home,” the man whom Eric has been rubbing up against for the past four minutes (Eric’s counting) requests, and Eric bites his lip. What’s the smartest way to convey that literally all he’s looking for is to get his dick sucked?

“You gonna treat me?” Eric asks, punctuating his request with a few saccharine swivels of his hips, prompting a greedy hand that lands on his hip. 

“Whatever you want,” the other man murmurs, fixated on the way Eric grinds against him seemingly effortlessly. Success. Eric turns around, grabs a fistful of the man’s shirt, and pulls him close. 

“Can’t wait,” Eric murmurs, purposely placing the tiniest hint of a whine in his voice. “Now?” 

“Now?” The man purrs, looking very amused at Eric’s ‘neediness’. The dancer simply looks up from under his eyelids and lashes at him, pulling his best sultry, hot summer hookup face. It works. “Pretty thing. You pent up?” 

“Been stressed,” Eric pulls their already-flush bodies closer together and swivels his hips to the music. “Need it.” The man chuckles, and his hand on the small of Eric’s back starts to creep down to palm his ass. 

“Let’s just say it was for the dance, yeah?” He asks, and Eric nods, letting a hint of a smile tip up onto his face. “C’mere.” The man takes Eric’s hand and leads him to the bathroom. With a rush of euphoria, Eric realizes he’s pretty much won at this point. There’s literally no way to fumble the bag. 

“Oh, you’re even prettier in the light,” the man looks Eric up and down. Eric remains heavy-lidded and sensual, letting the yellowish light of the bathroom highlight his glittery eyeshadow and glossy lips. “Just gorgeous.” 

“You’re hot,” Eric offers as he’s being pushed back against the locked door. He’s picked up a stereotypical Cali boy, with that ridiculous shark tooth necklace hanging around his neck and badly bleached highlights in his long brown hair. He’s not bad looking though. And if he’s willing to give him a blowjob, then all the better for Eric. He’s vain though, apparently; stealing glances in the smudged mirror at himself while Eric sneaks a look at his watch. 8 minutes and counting. This is going much quicker than he thought it would, but it’s still being dragged out longer than he would like as the guy takes his time with fixing his hair in the mirror. Vaguely, Eric wonders if it would be overboard if he started whimpering. Or maybe squeezed himself in between the sink and the dude. It’s starting to get awkward, with Eric just leaning against the door, and his hookup fluffing up the back of his beach boy hairstyle.

Sehun has no basis of comparison with how well he’s doing in this competition, but if he were to take a guess, he’d say that he’s running behind on time, despite the stopwatch showing about 8 minutes. He’s just about to go for someone else when there’s two hands on his hips and a body pressed against his back. Sehun turns his head and finds himself looking down at someone who comes up to about his chin. And he’s honestly really cute, if the c-shaped curl on his clear forehead and big eyes are anything to go by. Sehun offers him a smirk and lets the boy press tight against his back. 

“Hey,” the boy murmurs.

“Hey yourself,” Sehun returns, swaying absentmindedly to the bass that’s reverberating through the club. But the boy seems to have other ideas, reaching a hand out to boldly press against Sehun’s hipbone, prominent even through the denim of his jeans, then ventures closer to Sehun’s bulge. 

“Looking for something?” Sehun asks, amused and exhilarated at the forwardness of this boy’s movements. He turns around and slowly starts backing the boy up against the wall with a casual forearm hooked over his shoulder. Sehun’s other hand covers the shorter’s wandering one and boldly places it directly over his tucked package. His back hits the wall and Sehun leans into his personal bubble just as the boy traces the outline of Sehun, and promptly lets out a small whimper of disbelief. 

“Come… with me,” the boy practically begs, looking up at Sehun’s chiseled, neutral face just inches from his. “Swear I’ll make it worth your time.” And time is of the essence for Sehun. 

“A cutie like you?” Sehun purrs, bypassing his usual hard-to-get, unaffected facade. “Of course, sweetheart.” He presses his lips to the boy’s harshly, right there in the middle of the club, where everyone can see them. The boy’s chest arches upwards as he tiptoes and wraps his arms around Sehun’s neck to pull him closer. Sehun tastes and smells alcohol, and he pulls back after a few seconds of heavy making out. “You drunk, boy?” 

“No,” he breathes while Sehun’s hands run roughly down his mesh top and to his backside to squeeze and knead harshly. “Half a beer. Please,” the boy’s hands trail to the sweaty, pale skin that shines under the flashing, multicolored LED lights of the club, and he traces the planes of Sehun’s broad chest. Sehun leans in to kiss him again, hard. The boy moans and goes limp against the brick, letting Sehun suck and nibble his bottom lip. 

“Come with me,” the boy asks for the second time that evening, and this time, Sehun follows, letting the boy entangle his fingers with Sehun and drag him out of the club and down a dark, grimy alleyway. Sehun checks his watch. He  _ has  _ to hurry up. Luckily, his hookup seems just as horny as Sehun is competitive, because he tiptoes up for another greedy kiss, already kneading and stroking Sehun’s bulge once again. As distracted as Sehun is with every precious second slipping away, he can’t help but groan and get a little caught up in the way the eager boy melts like putty at the feeling of Sehun’s hands roaming under his mesh top. 

“Let me suck you,” his hookup says, looking up at Sehun with something like desperate desire written all over his face, and Sehun can’t believe his luck.

“Yes, baby,” Sehun answers automatically, brushing that carefully styled c-curl away from the boy’s face and working his hand through the boy’s hair, leaving it tousled and standing on end. His hand traces the line of the boy’s neck and jawline while his hookup drops to his knees in the street, unbuttons Sehun’s jeans, and moans at the sight of Sehun’s half-hard, naked cock springing up from its tight constraints. 

“No underwear?” 

“What’s the point?” Sehun hisses, watching the boy’s eyes dilate at the bold declaration. Trembling hands are placed on either of his thighs, and Sehun prays that his hookup is distracted enough to not notice him sneaking glances at his watch every three seconds. “Make it worth my while, baby.” 

“You’re hot as is,” Eric murmurs, finally moving from his spot against the door to curl suggestively against Beach Bum’s side and turn his face towards Eric’s. Beach Bum cracks a winning, blinding smile at this, and Eric boldly fits his mouth against the man’s. Looks like he has to go for seduction. Beach Bum kisses exactly like a horny college student, with too much tongue and desperate smacks of his lips. On another day, Eric would’ve loved to have taken full control, to have easily subdued his cockiness into submission and taught him how to draw moans and sighs out of someone with just a nibble at their lip and minimal tongue. But today, Eric just rolls with it, because all he cares about is a mouth around his dick. He doesn’t even have to cum (and judging by how this one is going, he’s probably not going to anyways). Still, he can deliver a little lesson, even if he isn’t going to be fully dominant. One hand dips under the boy’s shirt, rubbing at the soft, sun-tanned skin of his waist, while the other curls into his hair and pulls him back just a little to correct the teeth smashing into his. 

“Easy, easy. Fuck, want your mouth on my cock,” Eric moans, moving to press wet, open-mouthed kisses along the sensitive part of the boy’s neck just above his ridiculous necklace. The boy shivers and backs Eric up against the door again. 

“Since you were so good to me with that dance.” Eric’s hand in Beach Bum’s hair remains there even as he gets on his knees and fumbles with Eric’s zipper for just a moment. Eric breathes evenly as the boy extracts his half-hard dick with some difficulty, spits into his hand, and gives him a few rough passes to get him fully hard. Then he halts, and looks up at Eric with something like arrogance playing on his face. “Want it?” 

“Please,” Eric sighs out in what he hopes sounds like arousal instead of exasperation. 

“So pent up,” Beach Bum murmurs, and Eric swears he’s going to get this kid’s number later so that he can absolutely wreck him. Nonetheless, that big, arrogant mouth presses to the tip of his dick, and Eric stops his timer as discreetly as possible. That’ll have to do. Vaguely, he wonders where Sehun is. 

“Fuck yes, take it,” Sehun pants as the boy works his tongue up and down Sehun’s length before taking the head into his mouth and suckling greedily at the sticky, slightly bitter liquid that oozes from the tip. Sehun groans and lets his head tip back against the wall. The timer has stopped, so he may as well enjoy his free and amazing blowjob. “Baby, you look so good with my cock in your mouth.” The boy starts to bob his head up and down, taking in more and more of Sehun each time. Turns out it’s a warm up for when the boy finally goes down on Sehun and sucks hard, eliciting a gasp from him. Sehun’s skin prickles with sweat from the hot night air and the stuffy club, and the pool of arousal in his gut only grows as he feels the boy’s throat tighten and relax around the beautifully thick intrusion. “Fuck, that’s so good,” Sehun practically growls when the boy comes up for air and looks up at him with tear-tracked cheeks. He wraps a hand in the boy’s hair, scratching lightly at his scalp, and pushes him back towards his hot, aching cock. 

“Fuck my mouth,” the boy begs before opening his mouth  _ oh  _ so willingly for Sehun to nestle back into. Sehun presses the boy’s head forwards while simultaneously bucking his hips up into the perfect, wet warmth. 

“You love this, don’t you?” Sehun smirks, watching tears seep out of the boy’s tightly shut eyes as he gags and trembles under the harsh treatment. “Getting your mouth fucked? Is that why you approached me?” The boy moans as an answer, and Sehun hisses at the vibrations. “Good boy.” 

“Fuck,” the boy gasps when Sehun lets go, pressing one hand tight against his own crotch. 

“You’re so hard just from this, aren’t you?” Sehun asks, sweat beading on his forehead as he tries to control his own heavy breathing. It’s rather difficult while he watches the boy squirm at his feet. His hookup nods frantically and leans forward to slurp greedily at Sehun’s balls. Sehun tenses and releases a throaty groan. The boy chokes himself on Sehun’s cock again, shuddering and moaning and sucking greedily. Sehun clenches his teeth and grips the boy’s hair fiercely as he feels the tip of his cock touch the back of the boy’s convulsing throat. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, baby.” His hookup looks up with those big, pleading eyes, practically begging Sehun to cum in his mouth. Sehun fucks in once, twice, and then he curses as he cums. The boy closes his eyes and moans in bliss as hot, salty, bitter liquid slides down his throat. Sehun shudders as the boy milks him through his orgasm, then licks into his slit to gather the last few drops of cum. 

“Shit,” Sehun pants, feeling a little boneless against the wall. The boy shakily rises to his feet and to Sehun’s surprise, there’s a dark spot growing in the front of the boy’s pants. “Fuck, you came, cutie?” The boy blushes and nods, and Sehun just about collapses. That’s _ adorable.  _ The boy takes a few steps closer to Sehun and shyly holds out his phone. Sehun takes it without a word. 

“Text me, baby.” One last dirty kiss, Sehun wipes away the remainder of his hookup’s tears gently, and the boy is gone as fast as he came. 

“So you’re not a club bathroom person,” a voice drawls, and Sehun looks up from tucking himself back into his pants to see Eric making his way towards him. “I see you hooked up with another cute baby boy.” 

“Who did you get?” Sehun rolls his eyes as he pulls up his fly. 

“Some arrogant ass beach bum who almost bit my dick off. Wish I could fake a nut like girls can.” 

“Depressing.” Sehun smirks. “Cute baby boy was amazing. Like no gag reflex.” 

“Lucky you. Time?” Eric asks. Sehun fumbles with his watch. 

“14 minutes, 34 seconds. You?” Sehun waits with bated breath. Wordlessly, Eric resignedly holds his phone up to show Sehun 14 minutes, 42 seconds. The side of Sehun’s mouth twitches in victory as he brackets Eric’s waist and pushes him against the wall. Eric doesn’t put up a fight, but the look in his eye is still confident and bright, as if promising that he won’t bend so willingly to Sehun’s dominance tonight. And Sehun really wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“I’ll fuck you good,” Sehun whispers, nipping Eric’s earlobe as he makes his promises. “Make up for that shitty blowjob.” 

“Yeah, you better.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello~ Hope everyone liked the update :DDDDD Aranee and I had fun with this one hehe  
>  Life is slowly starting back up again, but we're gonna do our best to keep updating at around the same speed! Chapters are hella long (as I'm sure you all have noticed XD) and we want to put out our best work, so thank you so much for waiting for each update. Promise that I DEFINITELY won't leave this AU hanging, as Aranee and I are VERY attached to it :3  
>  I'd love to hear what you thought about this chapter! Comments are always very loved by us two.  
>  Everyone continue to stay safe and healthy! XOXO ^_^
> 
> Who did you think would win the little competition? Really can't beat Sehun's luck. There is really those kind of people for whom magically appears their solution in front of their eyes. Being incredibly handsome might have contributed in this case, though =D.
> 
> Thank you for patiently waiting for our chapters that really are thrice as long or longer compared to when this series started. justafei and I have the story already mapped out and love this series dearly, we are so excited to show you a little more of what we have planned with every new chapter!
> 
> Your comments keep us going, please continue to tell us what you think about our chapters~
> 
> See you soon <3.
> 
> P.S.: Stream 2 Kids! Can't wait for Taemin's 3rd full album Never Gonna Dance Again =D.


	23. reaching milestones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Italic_ speech is Korean.

Jongin enjoys many parts of filming SYTYCD, but the weekly conferences in which they are briefed about the choreography, recording, and stages are definitely less than enjoyable. He’s almost dozed off on Makenzie’s shoulder for this one when she nudges him harshly. Jongin levels her with a grumpy look, because he absolutely loathes when people wake him up. Not to mention Makenzie shares the same feelings about boring, administrative meetings. 

“Did  _ you _ know there was going to be a tour?” she hisses. 

“What?” Jongin’s eyes snap from half-closed to wide open in a second. 

“Listen.” 

“...Almost down to our Top 10 contestants, who will end up going on tour from the 1st of October to the 27th of November this year. We’ll be covering 42 cities in about two months. More details will come for that next week, but hopefully that serves as some encouragement to do your best this week. Along similar lines, because we are coming down to our Top 5 Men and Women, this will be your last week dancing with your partner. Instead, you’ll be paired up with an All-Star partner to complete the rest of your routines.” 

“Aww, last week together. Can’t believe we’ve made it this far,” Makenzie murmurs, but Jongin barely even hears the rest of the producer’s announcements past ‘November’. His heart already feels like it’s dropping out of his chest. The rest of the meeting is even more tortuous than it usually is, because Jongin has to sit there, gulping in shallow breaths, forcing himself not to panic even though the more he tries to focus on the announcements, the more he fixates on the tour. 

“Any general questions?” the producer asks, and at the silence of the half-asleep room, he nods satisfactorily. “Thank you for your time.” 

“Kai?” Alan and Makenzie ask worriedly as Jongin jumps up from his chair and speed walks out of the room as fast as possible, hand already reaching into his pocket for his phone. Once outside in the bright sunlight, Jongin leans against the hot brick of the back wall of the studio and presses his phone to his ear. 

_ “You never call me during this time of day,”  _ a mellow voice answers the phone, pronunciation a little slurred because of sleepiness, but evidently happy.  _ “To what do I owe the pleasure?”  _

“There’s a tour,” Jongin chokes out. “After… for Top 10… I didn’t know… I’m sorry…” 

“What?” The discernable panic in Jongin’s voice floods Kyungsoo with concern.  _ “Nini, are you okay?”  _

“Iwannamakeit, I wanna go, but I don’t wanna leave,” Jongin’s breath hitches as he speaks. 

_ “Leave what? Who? Where are you going?”  _ Kyungsoo’s English proficiency has gone down significantly ever since he left, and combined with Jongin’s broken syllables, it’s even harder to piece together what the younger is articulating.  _ “Honey, I’m sorry, I’m lost…”  _

“I can’t spend two more months without youuu,” Jongin whimpers, feeling tears prick into the corners of his eyes. “I can’tttt, I don’t wannaaa.” 

_ “Nini,”  _

“If I go on tour it’s gonna be nine months apart, and we said at the beginning it was only four!” Jongin’s voice is whiny with distress now. “But I wanna go on tour, I wanna be on Top 10, but I don’t wanna be apart, but I wanna go, but--” 

_ “Okay, okay, I think I got it.”  _ Kyungsoo sighs patiently.  _ “For Top 10, you guys go on tour after the show?”  _

“And I’m so close to Top 10, I wanna make it so bad, literally we perform all over the US--” 

_ “Yes, hon. And when… when is the show?”  _

“It’s from the start of October to the end of November,” Jongin reports miserably. 

_ “Okay.”  _ Kyungsoo stops unexpectedly.  _ “That’s great, then. It’s a huge opportunity, on top of all the exposure you got on the show.”  _

“But,” Jongin’s voice goes up another octave, “but if I make it--and I really wanna make it--if I make it, then I have to leave.” 

_ “That is how tours work,”  _ Kyungsoo agrees. 

“But I gotta leave YOU! I can’t see you until November! You promised we would spend Thanksgiving together! You said we could go to New York in the fall! I wanted to move in with you in September!” Jongin’s lower lip trembles; he’s about 10 words away from full-on tears. “I’m so conflicted.” 

_ “Ahhh.”  _ Kyungsoo is silent for just a moment. 

“Do you get it now?” Jongin huffs in frustration and anxiety. “I don’t know what--” He’s cut off by a stifled sound on Kyungsoo’s side. “Hm?” Jongin expects Kyungsoo’s voice, grave but reassuring, telling him that everything is going to be okay. He wants to hear Kyungsoo say, ‘I miss you’, ‘I love you’, or some variation of those words. Jongin’s busy and occupied nearly every day, but that doesn’t mean he never thinks about how perfect life would be if Kyungsoo could show up with flowers and lunch every so often, or cradle his sore, exhausted body at night. Not to mention that he's stressed and conflicted now--any form of Kyungsoo’s affection would suffice. What he least expects to hear is Kyungsoo’s  _ laughter.  _ It starts out small, just little amused puffs of breath, that slowly grow into short chuckles. Then Kyungsoo is actually laughing, spilling out even though he tries hard to hide it from Jongin, and Jongin’s eyes burn with unshed tears. 

“Why?” Jongin whispers, because he just doesn’t understand. He’s so stressed and pressured and worried, and all Kyungsoo ever does is comfort him. Why is he being laughed at? “Don’t… I-I’m actually lost.” 

_ “What I wouldn’t give,”  _ Kyungsoo gasps, trying to catch his breath,  _ “what I wouldn’t give to kiss you.”  _ Jongin remains irreconcilably silent; his distress is starting to turn into stony petulance.  _ “You’re just the cutest.”  _

“Tch.” Jongin actually, physically rolls his eyes at Kyungsoo and almost hangs up. It’s like he’s 16 again, caught in an argument with his mother, and the most mature thing to do is stomp upstairs and slam the door. 

_ “I don’t know why I’ve been reduced to a statue,”  _ Kyungsoo muses quite cheerfully.  _ “I wasn’t aware. What pose should I do?”  _

“What?” Jongin snaps irritably. 

_ “Are you angry?”  _ Kyungsoo asks. 

“Yes!” Jongin frowns and brushes his hand across his eyes. “Stop laughing.” 

_ “Nini bear, calm down,”  _ Kyungsoo consoles, and like it or not, Jongin’s anger immediately begins to ebb away.  _ “It’s not how you think it is, sweetheart.”  _

“It is. We’re going to be apart for even longer, and I don’t think I can stand it,” Jongin whispers. 

_ “Why? If you make it, can’t I come with you on tour?”  _ Kyungsoo inquires.  _ “Er, actually, never mind. Junmyeon might kill me if I left for the whole time, but maybe part of it?”  _

“Huh?” Jongin’s sniffles come to an abrupt stop as he focuses on what Kyungsoo is saying. Tour… with him? Travel… together? Watch him dance? 

_ “Did they say other people can’t go?”  _

“N-no…” Jongin’s heart begins beating faster, but it isn’t out of panic this time. 

_ “Then why are you so stressed?”  _ Kyungsoo bursts into full-on laughter again.  _ “You are adorable.”  _

“Oh.” Jongin wipes away the last of his tears with the back of his wrist and laughs shakily with Kyungsoo. “You’re right.” 

_ “Of course I am.”  _

“Then… I have to make it to Top 10.” 

“Yes,” Kyungsoo agrees.  _ “Tour will be fun.”  _

“Yeah. I only have to survive this week, and then I’ll be in.” Jongin lets out his breath in a relieved whoosh. “I’ll do my best, then.” 

_ “I have no doubt that you always do your best, love.”  _

“Does your partner have any bad habits?” The producer asks Jongin and Makenzie, who are sitting side by side in their casual interview studio. Jongin blinks a few times as he considers the question. 

“Yeah,” Makenzie nods, suppressing a smile and glancing at Jongin knowingly. 

“What do I do?” Jongin protests. 

“You have a LOT of bad habits.” 

“Huh?” Jongin racks his brain to think about what he does on a daily basis, but all he comes up with dancing, sleeping, and (sometimes) eating. 

“Kai’s always on his phone,” Makenzie tells the camera matter-of-factly. 

“I--” Jongin throws his hands up indignantly. 

“Always. As soon as he puts me down during practice, he’s on his phone. You can scroll through all the footage. I bet 80% of it is just him on his phone.” Makenzie looks at Jongin playfully. “What do you keep looking at?” 

“I’m not on my phone that much,” Jongin pouts. “Most of the time I’m just scrolling through Instagram when I have nothing to do.” 

“Sureee.” Makenzie laughs. 

“Well, Kenzie pulls a ton of ugly faces,” Jongin rolls his eyes. “All the time. Anywhere.” 

“It’s fun.” 

“There is no need to pull a face at everything that we do,” Jongin informs her. “She looks like this--” Jongin turns to the camera and scrunches his head back on his shoulders to give himself multiple chins, then pulls the skin of his cheeks down. “You’re on camera, Kenzie.” 

“I look pretty when it counts.” Makenzie shrugs and sticks her tongue out. 

“You do,” Jongin tells her. 

“Cut!” The producer calls. “That was good, you two.” 

“Do you think we’ll make it into the Top 10?” Kenzie asks as they wander out of the room and down the hallway together. Jongin shrugs. 

“We’ll find out tonight, I guess?” The two of them make it into the small kitchenette area in the dancer’s lounge. Jenna waves at them from her spot on the floor, legs splayed 180 degrees against the wall, nursing a salad in front of her. 

“Heyo.” 

“How’s your partner doing?” Jongin inquires while Makenzie rummages around in the fridge for their lunches. 

“Not good…” Jenna shakes her head and sighs. “Knee infection isn’t going away. I’m dancing with Alex tonight.” 

“Damn, I’m sorry about that,” Makenzie calls. 

“Yeah.” Jenna pokes at a piece of lettuce. “Alex is a great dancer, nothing against him. And the routine is… well, it’s executed, I suppose. It’s just really awkward dancing with someone else after 5 weeks.” 

“Oh, I feel that. I kind of wish we were allowed to stay with our partners next week instead of getting an All-Star,” Makenzie nods and hands Jongin his Tupperware container full of stir-fried vegetables and chicken breast. 

“Thanks.” 

“I know All-Stars are supposed to give us a boost with dancing, but there’s also the chemistry in between us,” Makenzie gestures to herself and Jongin. “That takes time.”

“The trust factor,” Jongin chimes in, crashing on a brown leather couch against the adjacent wall where Jenna is stretching. Makenzie plops down next to him. 

“Exactly. It’s just a little awkward sometimes during practice right now,” Jenna’s mouth twists to the side worriedly. “And this week is such an important week. Tour.” 

“The tour,” Jongin echoes, taking a bite of cold chicken breast. 

“You know,” Makenzie mumbles around a mouth full of macaroni salad, “the further we get into the show, the more I feel like it would just be so shitty to be sent home this week.” Jongin’s forehead wrinkles together as he tilts his head in confusion. Makenzie swallows before elaborating on her point. “Like at the beginning, do you remember when they made us do a solo before we got a hotel room key for Vegas Week?” 

“Don’t remind me,” Jenna and Jongin chorus in unison. 

“Yeah, I was like, ‘aw, man, it would be so shitty if I got this far just to get sent home.’ Then I felt the same thing at the end of Vegas Week. Then the same after the first week of Top 20 elimination. And now, that feeling has just intensified. ‘I got all this way just to be sent home right before I made Top 10.’” 

“Ohhhh.” Jongin nods emphatically at this. “Yes. Absolutely. If anything, I just...” he sighs and turns his fork over in between his fingers. “I want all of us to make it together, but I know that’s not going to happen.” 

“Yeah.” Silence befalls the three of them while they eat their lunches. Jenna breaks it after a few more minutes, nodding at Jongin and Makenzie. 

“You two have contemporary this week, right?” 

“Yep.” Makenzie nods affirmation. 

“How’s that treating you?” 

“I’m thriving,” Makenzie declares; after all, she is a contemporary dancer. Jongin cracks a smile. 

“She likes bossing me around during practices.” 

“Well, your extensions could be better. And make sure you’re paying attention to your shapes when you’re carrying me around. Also, your movements are still a little too sharp sometimes, everything is just supposed to flow--” 

“I just want to eat in peace,” Jongin whines, and Makenzie stops her incessant corrections to smirk at him. 

“Aight, I’m heading out for some more practice. I’ll see you two on set tonight,” Jenna stands up and waltzes out of the room with all the grace of a ballroom dancer. “Bye!” 

“Bye, love.” Makenzie waves her out while Jongin nods. 

“Welcome to ‘So You Think You Can Dance!’” Cat smiles brightly just before the camera cuts to the Top 12 dancers, situated in Bollywood-themed outfits. Jongin always enjoys the first group performance stage; it’s a good warm-up to get himself and the audience ready for the actual competition dances later on. As soon as Jongin hits his final pose along with the rest of the dancers, they’re ushered off stage for a costume change while Cat mentions the Top 10 tour to the audience. Then it’s back into the spotlight for the most nerve-wracking part of the show, other than eliminations at the end--Bottom 6 announcements. 

“Amazing show last week,” Cat praises the dancers, “but who is in danger? Remember, the judges won’t be cutting anyone until the end of the show, but based on last week's votes, I’m about to call out the Bottom 3 guys and the Bottom 3 girls. If I call out your name, please step forward.” Jongin’s hand tightens on Makenzie’s shoulder.  _ Don’t be nervous.  _

“Jenna.” Jongin winces and glances at his friend. “Alan.” Makenzie flinches, and Jongin almost groans out loud. Two of their best friends on the show, and Jongin’s heart is still pounding for his own fate as well. “Malece.” Alan’s partner steps forward next to him. “Nico. Amy. Kai.” Jongin’s heart drops and everything becomes numb as he gently releases Makenzie and steps into line with the other five dancers in danger. “Please put your hands together for the back row, they have made it through to the Top 10, and will be going on tour.” Jongin barely registers the clapping of the audience. The rest of the dancers scoot closer to him, and he loops an arm around Jenna’s shoulders. He’s not sure if the gesture is to ground himself or to comfort a shaking Jenna. Cat turns her attention to the judges. “Now, who would you like to send immediately into the Top 10, and who would you like to see dance their solos in their respective specialties?” 

_ Please be me.  _ Jongin can only formulate one thought in the midst of his shock. Having dropped into an extremely dangerous position on the show, every nerve in his body is tense with adrenaline, ready to fight for his spot. Normally, he might have had some empathy for Alan and Jenna and the other dancers as well, but put into a situation in which he knows this might be his last stage ever, Jongin has never wanted to make the cut so badly.  _ Please be me. _ Nigel leans forward to speak. 

“We would like to send Jenna--” Jongin feels Jenna go limp with relief to his right, “and Nico to safety.” Jongin automatically turns to hug Jenna. No words are exchanged in between them, but everything that needs to be said is conveyed when Jenna wraps her arms around Jongin’s trembling figure. 

“Okay, congratulations, you two, please head backstage to get ready for your performances tonight. Kai, your solo is up first, please head to your position.” Cat directs the dancers, then turns to the crowd. “Remember, after taking into account everything they have seen from the dancers, as well as their solos, the judges will cut one girl and one boy at the end of the show tonight.” Jongin walks shakily to his position, knowing that in a few seconds, he’s going to have to give the performance of his life. 

Everything is so different when Jongin is experiencing it himself. He’s seen Makenzie, Jenna, and Alan all perform their solos. He’s watched them with nervous trepidation, praying and hoping that none of them would be cut. He’s imagined, infinite times before, how it would feel to have to get through hours of filming and competing, all with the heavy knowledge that it might all be for nothing at the end; that he might get cut by the judges. But even his most realistic plans of attack couldn’t prepare him for the emotions that overwhelm him as the spotlight closes in on him, dressed in his black jumpsuit, pretending to grip a doorknob. The music sounds, and he sways backwards, then forwards. The door choreography, Makenzie had called it while he was working on the dance at MDC last week. Some stupid part of his brain had even gotten complacent, and figured he wouldn’t even have to perform it. But here he is, letting muscle memory take over and lead his movements, while he mulls over his precarious ranking for this week. The choreography isn’t exactly pure hip-hop--there’s some contemporary elements in his movements--but Jongin figures that will only play to his advantage, if he shows that he can excel in more than one area and blend styles. There’s a lot of abstract concepts, a lot of isolation in his technique, and Jongin can only hope that his limited practice time was enough as he hits his final pose with desperation in his eyes and posture. The audience claps for him as he bows and shakily half-walks, half-runs backstage. 

“Hey, that was really good,” Makenzie is waiting for him with her arms outstretched. Jongin barely feels her embrace, breathing hard. Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Alan shaking his hands out as he takes the stage. Jongin gasps out something like a dry sob. 

“He--me--” 

“Huh? Sit down.” Makenzie forces him to sit down on their usual couch that they watch the solos from. Jenna’s perching on the opposite side, biting her lip as she watches Alan’s Samba with a professional eye. “What were you saying?” But Jongin doesn’t answer her, only ruminates over the thought in his head. Nico was already saved, so it’s just him and Alan. Out of the two of them, the judges have to cut one at the end of the show. Which means… Jongin drops his head into his hands. Either way, he’s losing out. If he was given a choice to save himself or Alan, there’s no doubt in his mind that he would choose to be selfish and move on to Top 10. But Alan… Jongin thinks all the way back to Vegas Week at the start of the summer, almost three months ago. Alan was his first friend that he had made. That very first day, and the last day it seemed that Jongin had been truly unworried and all set to just enjoy the ride. They had wandered around the entire hotel together, forgetful that cameras were always trained on them. They sat by the pool and sunbathed until Jongin was three shades darker. Alan snuck junk food into his room and they sprawled out together on his bed, watching reels of SYTYCD footage and making fun of themselves. Jongin had laughed until he cried. In his mind, Jongin had always imagined himself with Alan until the very end of the show, even though he knew that it wasn’t possible. And even when the tour had been announced to them earlier that day, he had immediately thought of the chaos and hilarity that would ensue if Jenna, Makenzie, Alan, and himself all made it. But now, it was set in stone that at least one of them--Jongin or Alan--would be left off of the Top 10. Jongin closes his eyes, overwhelmed by his own thoughts. 

“Hey, man.” A hand rests on his shoulder. “You good?” 

“Kai,” Makenzie calls softly. Jongin looks up to see Alan, sweaty and breathing hard from his solo. He hadn’t even had the heart to watch the ballroom dancer. Jongin slowly gets to his feet and embraces the other man tightly. 

“It’s okay,” Jenna is saying, but Jongin just drops his head onto Alan’s shoulder and sighs heavily, fighting back tears. He would’ve let himself bawl already, if not for the knowledge that he still has at least three hours of filming to get through. 

“We’ll just… see…” Alan murmurs when Jongin pulls back. “Good luck.” 

“Yeah,” Jongin says hollowly. “You, too.” He feels so incompetent. Everybody else was able to carry a conversation and deal with potential failure over and over. It’s only him that’s literally scared into absolute silence as Makenzie drags him off to half-heartedly rehearse. She doesn’t say anything, just goes about business as usual. Jongin tries, he really does. He’s careful when lifting her, and remembers to worry about his extensions. But he’s still stuck on that one repeating thought over and over.  _ What if I get cut. What if I get cut. What if I get cut. What if-- _

“Kai.” Makenzie’s voice cuts through his thoughts. “We have to go change.” 

“Okay,” Jongin nods, following her into the dressing room, where their costumes are hung up on racks. Makenzie turns to give him his loose shirt and pants, but when Jongin takes the clothes hanger, Makenzie hangs onto it as well. 

“I should’ve said that your bad habit was jumping to conclusions too quickly,” Makenzie mutters under her breath. 

“What?” 

“Have you been cut yet? No. Then snap out of it and perform your ass off. You still have time to prove that you belong in the Top 10.” Makenzie fixes him with an even look. “I get that you’ve never competed so extensively before, but you’re here now. So you need to start thinking like a professional dancer. And that means you don’t just mire yourself down in your thoughts before anything has even fucking happened.” 

“But Alan--” 

“Alan’s dealing with it, and you have to as well. It kinda sucks, but it was bound to happen, right? We can be lovey dovey about it later.” Makenzie releases the clothes hanger, and Jongin stumbles a little. “Don’t just start throwing away what little stage time you have. You were the one who said we should treat every performance like it’s our last.” And with that, she walks into a dressing room and closes the curtain behind her, leaving Jongin absolutely floored with the impromptu pep talk. 

Despite all the time that they spend together, Makenzie’s almost never serious or solemn, choosing instead to always find ways to laugh and smile. Her presence is sunny and cheerful, insomuch that it almost overshadows how professional she is during training sessions and class. But of course she is--Makenzie grew up in a competitive dance environment, unlike Jongin. It’s never been more crystal clear to Jongin that Makenzie actually holds a very valuable skill set that he apparently lacks; resilience. She doesn’t break down, and Jongin realizes that he can’t mess this performance up for her or himself.

There’s an obvious change when Jongin meets her backstage and takes her hand silently. He’s still worried, still scared, still nervous. But he tamps down on all of that negative energy, and instead focuses on focusing. The feeling takes Jongin back to how he practices in his tiny studio back in Boston, dancing alone late into the night. There’s nothing but shadowy shapes on the walls and the reflection of himself to keep him company. In such an environment, Jongin’s vision tunnels, and he becomes aware of nothing except his next movement. Today, out on the stage, all Jongin sees is Makenzie when she runs towards or away from him, and his own limbs, stretching out to form all those shapes that they practiced over and over that week. For two minutes, he doesn’t think about his or Alan’s potential elimination, the tour, or anything else. He simply dances. When they hit their final pose, Jongin blinks a few times and turns around to face the audience. To his utter shock, he and Makenzie are receiving a standing ovation. Jongin feels tears well up in his eyes so fast that he doesn’t even have time to control himself. They trickle down his cheeks as he pulls Makenzie into a hug, and Cat beckons for them to step forward to receive the judge’s feedback. 

“Kai, you’ve been absolutely stunning week after week on and off stage,” Nigel says, and Jongin inclines his head in gratitude. “And the more we narrow down our dancers, the more difficult it becomes to make our decision every week. But what you just did with Makenzie there--” Nigel stops himself before he can finish the sentence, but Jongin gets it. He breaks into a small, shy smile, his first smile of the night that wasn’t choreographed. “And Makenzie, you are just breathtaking. You’re so beautiful.” 

“From the Bottom 3 up into the Top 10 this week, you must be overjoyed,” Mary praises Makenzie, who laughs and nods affirmation. “And Kai, I agree with every word that Nigel said. You have to know how much America adores you, and how much we adore you.” Jongin just nods, simply too overwhelmed to speak. 

“Alright, that’s it for Kai and Makenzie this week. Make sure to vote for them…” Cat reels off her usual talk, while Jongin wryly thinks that voting won’t matter if he doesn’t make it until the end of the night. When they finally get backstage, Jongin collapses on the couch in a daze. 

“Don’t relax yet,” Makenzie tells him tiredly. “You still have your Men’s group performance.” 

“I’m just…” Jongin shakes his head and draws his knees up to his chest. “I’m so scared,” he whispers. 

“I know.” Makenzie wraps him in a hug. “I am, too.” 

The group performance is no less difficult for Jongin than his solo, or his contemporary piece with Makenzie. With every movement, Jongin aches, knowing that this truly is the last stage that he and Alan will ever perform on the show together. The concept hits close to home as well--even though the choreography is strong and masculine, the story is of a man pulling his weight in a relationship. Kyungsoo. As if Jongin could handle any more heartache on top of his competition, his mind flickers to his boyfriend. Jongin doesn’t want to tell him that he’s going home. He can’t even fathom how life will feel if he has to go back to Boston and spend the last few weeks of summer in his little studio, alone, without the high-intensity, fast-paced training and practice environment that he’s found on set and at MDC. Jongin knows, with every inch of his being, that he has more to show, and that Los Angeles has more for him. This can’t be his last week. He dances his heart out next to Alan, both of their chests heaving for breath in sync, and closes his eyes to let the cheering and clapping of the audience wash over him. He can’t leave. 

“Kai, do you have anything to say?” Cat asks after they’ve all gathered to hear the judges critique. Jongin accepts the microphone that is held in front of him and debates a little about what exactly he wants to say. It’s seldom that the dancers get to directly address the audience and cast of the show like this, with their words instead of bodies. Jongin clears his throat and tries to keep the shaking out of his voice. 

“The past few weeks have just been the best weeks of my life,” he begins, and he means it with his entire being. “I’m just so grateful for this opportunity. Everyone is just so talented and so unique, and I feel so blessed to be able to be surrounded by such amazing dancers as these guys.” Alan’s arm draped around his shoulder tightens for just a minute while Jongin hands the microphone back to Cat. 

“So sweet, Kai, even though you were so ferocious when performing just a few minutes ago. Alright, why don’t you all head on backstage so we can watch the lady’s mini group dance? Thank you, boys.” Jongin bows with the rest of the Top 6 boys and heads off stage. He and Alan crash on the couch together and watch Makenzie and Jenna in silence, knowing that with every minute that passes, one of them is getting closer and closer to elimination. Jongin’s breath comes in short bursts and gasps. Every moment when he’s not dancing is plagued with worry and fear. And beneath it all, that constant, burning flame of desire makes Jongin’s stomach twist into sickening knots. He wants wants wants  _ so  _ badly. There’s so much unsettled anxiety in all of Jongin’s movements--the way he braces himself on the edge of the couch, the way he bounces his leg, the way he walks stiffly behind Alan as they’re called back on stage, along with Malece and Amy. 

“The judges have conferred with our choreographers and taken into account the routines and solos tonight. Between them, they have made a decision. Here they are, Nigel,” Cat turns to the dancers. Jongin takes Malece and Alan’s hand, and squeezes so tightly that Alan flinches a little. “Who joins the Top 10, and who is going home?” 

“Well, first of all, Cat, I want to congratulate all four of them. I often complain that when the dancers are performing their solos, they don’t show us the full extent of what they are capable of in their own genre, but I think every single one of them has danced their heart out tonight.” Nigel pauses here to let the audience clap, and Jongin feels a twitch of annoyance under his strung-out nerves.  _ Forget the show, just get to the point.  _ Beside him, Alan is breathing heavily, struggling to control his own tears. Jongin swallows hard and tries to maintain his composure, knowing that all of America is watching him. But it’s so, so difficult to keep looking into the blinking red dot of the camera when he knows that all of his emotions must be displayed across his face. He was never good at hiding how he felt. Desperation, distress, despair. Jongin’s entire body trembles. 

“I don’t have a lot to do with the tour.” Nigel is saying, “Once you leave this program, you leave me…” ‘and my influence’ is implied in his words. “But whoever is going home tonight, I am really going to thoroughly recommend that you go as alternates and swing dancers onto that tour.” The audience claps in approval, but Jongin nearly collapses at these words. He doesn’t  _ want  _ to go as an alternate. He doesn’t want Alan to be an alternate. They should be able to dance on that stage together, as equals, interacting like they did just ten minutes ago during the group performance. It’s not fair. Jongin bites his lip to keep the tears from streaming down his cheeks. 

“I have to say we are unanimous in our decision with the choreographers tonight,” Nigel announces gravely, and Jongin’s heart stops. “The boy and the girl leaving us tonight…” 

Earlier that afternoon.

“I hate flying,” Chanyeol grumbles as he wheels the small suitcase containing both his and Baekhyun’s luggage for their overnight stay in Los Angeles down the narrow airplane aisle. Baekhyun follows close behind him, fingers gently holding on to the front of Chanyeol’s backpack. 

_ “I’ll hold your hand when we take off,” _ Baekhyun promises, sliding into the window seat and dropping his bag in between his feet while Chanyeol, tall as he is, puts their suitcase up into the overhead compartment.

“Such a comfort.” Chanyeol slides into the economy seat next to Baekhyun. “Unlike this seat.” His knees brush the back of the seat in front him, and he has to bend his legs at an almost comical angle to fit himself into the cramped space. Baekhyun only laughs at his fiance and untangles his earbuds. 

_ “This will be fun,” _ Baekhyun chirps happily.  _ “We haven’t taken a trip together in a long time.”  _

“It’s just for a job interview,” Chanyeol says rather sensibly, but it’s mostly just because he’s cramped and jittery. 

_ “Well, I get you to myself, so.” _ Baekhyun tucks his earbuds in, throws up the armrest between their chairs, and makes himself comfortable on Chanyeol’s shoulder. In spite of the bundle of nerves in Chanyeol’s stomach, partially from his distaste for flying, and partially out of anxiety for his big Nvidia interview, Chanyeol reaches for Baekhyun’s hand and lets himself relax a little as the plane fills up around them. During takeoff, Baekhyun is forced to sit up straight in his own seat, but as promised, he doesn’t let go of Chanyeol’s hand, even as the taller’s grip on Baekhyun’s hand starts to become painful. Once the rocky part of the flight is over though, Chanyeol heaves a relieved sigh and reaches for his book of interview questions in his bag while Baekhyun resumes his position. 

_ “Is this okay?” _ Baekhyun murmurs, tossing a lax arm around Chanyeol’s waist. His clinginess is not out of character, but part of his motive is to get Chanyeol’s mind off of his aerophobia. Chanyeol doesn’t care in the slightest, simply adjusting his position a little to be able to read and murmur to himself quietly. 

“S’fine.” Chanyeol runs a hand through Baekhyun’s soft hair. 

“Is that all you do to prepare?” Baekhyun effortlessly switches to English.

“What?” 

“Read the book and talk to yourself?” 

“No.” Chanyeol laughs, a short, deep rumble. “I also did mock interviews with some of my friends and other graduate students on campus.” 

“Are they all applying to Nvidia?” Baekhyun inquires, perhaps a little sleepily. 

“No, only some. The others at similar top companies and such.” Chanyeol sighs. “We’re all searching for a nice position, you know.” 

“Hmm.” Baekhyun hums in assent, then goes silent. 

“Sleepy?” Chanyeol asks. 

“A little. I spent lots of time at the studio because… wanted to get work done before we left for a couple days.” Baekhyun sighs. “Wanted to enjoy our mini vacay.” 

“It’s only a vacation for you,” Chanyeol chuckles affectionately. 

“You’ll be fine, Channie.” Baekhyun turns his face inwards and presses a kiss to the exposed part of Chanyeol’s collarbone from his t-shirt.  _ “My boring nerd.”  _

“Uh huh.” Chanyeol goes back to reading his book while Baekhyun dozes off on Chanyeol’s steady, warm chest. 

_ “It’s so hot,”  _ Baekhyun complains approximately six hours later, as they’re standing outside, waiting for Jongdae to pick them up.

“Welcome to LA, sweetheart.” Chanyeol chuckles.

_ “I don’t like it. Don’t go to the interview,”  _ Baekhyun’s overdramatic puppy eyes and jutting lower lip have Chanyeol’s heart pit-pattering a little quicker than normal, even after eight years of Baekhyun buttering him up.  _ “I’m gonna melt if we have to stay here.”  _

_ “IF I pass the interview,”  _ Chanyeol mutters, tapping his foot impatiently until Jongdae arrives and promptly tackles Baekhyun, who is just as enthusiastic about showing his love. 

“This is the third time I’ve picked someone from our group up from the airport this summer,” Jongdae tells the inseparable couple with a self-satisfied smile on his face as Chanyeol opens the door to the shotgun seat. “First it was Kai and Sehun. Then Kyungsoo. Now you guys. You’re all slowly realizing the magic of the west coast.” 

“Hell no. I will arrive kicking and screaming next time,” Baekhyun vows from the back seat. 

“So you acknowledge that there will be a next time,” Jongdae crows, and Baekhyun settles for rolling his eyes. “Yeol, how do you feel about the interview?” 

“Ehh…” Chanyeol wobbles his hand. “No idea. I’ve been preparing though, hopefully it’s enough.” 

“You’ll be fine,” Jongdae assures him. “Don’t stress too much. Just relax today. May as well, since Nvidia’s paying for everything for you.” 

“Yeah, heard the hotel’s nice.” Chanyeol thumbs through his phone absently. 

“When do you all leave?” 

“Tomorrow evening,” Baekhyun supplies. 

“Ah, after dinner time? We could get everyone together at a restaurant,” Jongdae suggests. “Kai’s busy as hell, but I’m sure he’d make room in his schedule for you two. And Sehunnie is usually just moping around these days.” 

“Is he still smashing and dashing?” Baekhyun inquires.

“Uh, from what I’ve heard, yes.” 

“Who’s that hot piece of ass he texted us about like a few weeks ago? Whatshisname?” 

“Eric?” Jongdae hazards a guess. 

“Yeah, that guy. Is he still a thing?” 

“Uh, yes. Most definitely.” Jongdae shrugs, focusing on the road. “Apparently Sehun can’t stand him, but he still spends every few days hooking up with him. I don’t understand.” 

“It’s the biggest dicks that have the biggest dicks,” Baekhyun says wisely, and at this, Chanyeol twists around from the passenger seat to level him with a pointed look. Baekhyun blinks back at him happily, innocent as can be. If Jongdae notices the silent couple banter, he doesn’t say anything. 

“Anyways, back to dinner.” 

“Yes...” Chanyeol turns around to face the front again. “That’d be awesome, Dae.” 

“I’m only coming if you bring Seojun,” Baekhyun sing-songs. 

“Don’t scare her off,” Jongdae warns, but it’s a confirmation, and Baekhyun whoops with glee. 

“Finally. I was starting to wonder if she was a figment of your imagination. What does she look like? Is she cute? We’re gonna meet her anyways, so you might as well spill all the details.” 

“Or you could just wait until tomorrow evening,” Jongdae suggests, making a neat left turn at the traffic light and pulling into the hotel that Chanyeol and the GPS had directed him to. “Here you are. Do you need help with luggage?” 

“Nah. Just one suitcase, I got it.” Jongdae gets out anyway to wave them off. 

“I might see you tomorrow, Yeol. Good luck!” 

“Thanks, Dae.” Chanyeol smiles. “Text us about dinner, yeah?”

“I will. Bye, Baek.” Jongdae waves, then drives off. Chanyeol checks in while Baekhyun peers curiously around the lobby of the hotel, then crowds him into a corner of the empty elevator for kisses as they glide upwards to the seventh floor. 

“Horny?” Baekhyun whispers in between kisses. 

“Just want to kiss you.” Chanyeol drops a small, endearing one on the corner of Baekhyun’s right eye before the elevator opens.  _ “Beautiful.” _ He leads the way down one of the hallways, slides the key card into the slot, and holds the door open for Baekhyun, who exclaims in pleasant surprise at the clean, white room. 

“They gave you such a nice hotel!” 

“Yep, it’s very comfortable.” Chanyeol looks around as well. “I think there’s also a pool, if you want to go relax a bit before dinner.” 

“Chocolate!” Baekhyun ignores him in favor of finding the two small pieces of chocolate on the pillows, left by cleaning staff. Chanyeol simply sits down on the edge of the bed, bemused. 

_ “You act like I’ve never taken you to a nice hotel before.”  _

_ “It’s been a while.”  _ Baekhyun crawls over from the head of the bed to where Chanyeol is sitting, and deposits himself neatly over Chanyeol’s lap as if he belongs there. Which, technically, he does. Chanyeol readily accepts the square of chocolate that Baekhyun offers him, opening his mouth to let Baekhyun feed him while he wraps an arm around Baekhyun’s waist to hold him steady. 

“Pool?” Chanyeol asks, letting the chocolate melt on his tongue. 

“‘Kay,” Baekhyun whispers happily. 

Baekhyun screeches with surprise and laughter when Chanyeol charges at him, gathers the smaller up in his arms, and jumps into the middle of the pool with his fiance in tow. Baekhyun reemerges from the water, spluttering and splashing Chanyeol with water as soon as his head breaks the surface as well. Chanyeol may have been dignified and practical on the way there, but now, he plays like a raucous little kid with Baekhyun, back muscles flexing as he windmills his arms to push waves of water towards Baekhyun. His deep, hoarse laugh and Baekhyun’s excited shouts combine and echo loudly around the indoor facility. If anybody else had wanted to join them, they probably changed their mind as long as they peeked in through the glass and saw the couple splashing around. Only when they’ve slopped a considerable amount of water over the sides of the pool, and Baekhyun scrunches his face up in discomfort as he tilts his head to the side to empty out his waterlogged left ear, do they calm down a bit. Chanyeol sits on the very last step of the pool stairs, keeping most of his body submerged, while Baekhyun half-floats, half-straddles his legs, running hands all up and down Chanyeol’s broad chest and small waist. The little currents of water that run through Baekhyun’s fingers as he touches Chanyeol make the taller shiver. There’s so much slippery, beautiful bare skin to touch, and it isn’t long before Baekhyun is wriggling against Chanyeol’s erection, barely contained in his swim trunks. 

“We should go back,” Chanyeol murmurs as Baekhyun leans in to touch his lips to Chanyeol’s. 

“You don’t wanna have sloppy public hotel pool sex?” Baekhyun teases. 

“Definitely not. Imagine explaining those charges to the Nvidia interviewers.” At this, Baekhyun lets out a peal of laughter. 

“That’s not the only explaining you’ll have to do.” Baekhyun leans down and gently nudges Chanyeol’s jawline with the tip of his nose so that he tilts his head, and Baekhyun attaches himself to the sensitive junction of Chanyeol’s neck. 

“Ah, uh-uh,” Chanyeol scolds, because he knows how Baekhyun gets carried away when he has his mouth on Chanyeol. “Love.” 

“I’m not doing anything,” Baekhyun promises, and Chanyeol gently cups water in his hands while he pats Baekhyun’s back absentmindedly. 

“Let’s take this up to the room,” Chanyeol suggests for the second time when Baekhyun’s lips start moving down towards his collarbones in a warm, wet, steady rhythm. 

“Yes, sir,” Baekhyun giggles and wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s neck as he scoops him up, bridal-style, carrying Baekhyun’s weight easily even as they emerge out of the water.

_ Please, please, please, please…  _ Jongin has totally forgotten about the cameras; the only thing on his mind are the two names that Nigel is saying. The judge pauses for a more dramatic effect, and if it weren’t for Alan’s arm around his shoulders, he probably would have sat down by now. His legs don’t seem to be working properly. 

“Malece and Alan.” Jongin’s face crumples. 

“Okay. Please put your hands together for Kai and Amy. They are safe--they have successfully made it through to the Top 10. Congratulations to them.” Jongin turns to Alan in the midst of the bittersweet applause and buries his face into his friend’s shoulder. Alan is shaking from sobs, and Jongin holds him as tight as he can before he’s forced to let go and walk off the stage with Amy. “There you have it America, tonight we say goodbye to Alan and Malece.” Offstage, Jongin watches as they play a clip of Malece and Alan’s best moments, and now that he knows he’s safe, he lets the tears trickle down his cheeks while Makenzie and Jenna embrace him relievedly. “Ladies and gents, let’s hear it for them one more time, it’s Alan and Malece! Thanks to our judges, thanks to our dancers, our wonderful studio audience and all of you at home. Join us next week 8-7 central as your Top 10 do it all over again. I’m Cat Deeley--good night.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Jongin gets out in between sobs when they finally get backstage. Alan is full-on crying now as well, shuddering as he breaks down, safe in the knowledge that the cameras are no longer trained on him. “I’m so sorry,” Jongin repeats, because he is. The moment is so, so bittersweet--it was inevitable, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. 

“You have to… make it,” Alan embraces Jongin and wraps him in a bear hug so tight that Jongin can’t even breathe. But he doesn’t complain. “Make it for us.” 

“Come on tour,” Jongin sniffs. “Please come on tour.” 

“I’ll try.” Jenna and Makenzie are crying, too, and they join in on the group hug. More and more dancers pile in, and all of a sudden, all twelve of them are mashed together, streaky makeup and sweaty bodies and tired hearts coming together to say good-bye to two of their tight-knit second family. Jongin grips Alan’s hands tightly as they all pull away. 

“Text me,” Jongin asks, and Alan nods. “Tell me what you’re up to… and if you can come on tour.” 

“You, too. Keep working hard.” Alan wipes away his tears. “I’m so proud of you.” 

“We made it so far,” Jongin adds softly, nodding. “I’m proud of us.” 

“You gotta keep making it, man.” Alan pulls him into one last hug. “You can do it.” 

The sky is dark with night, and dotted with speckles of stars when Jongin leaves the studio. He took the time to shower and change today, because he just wanted some time to think alone. Not that it was much help, with the cast and crew keeping up a constant stream of chatter inside the building. Only now, as Jongin walks along the far-too-familiar sidewalk by himself, does he find the quiet that he wanted. But it’s not helping. All around him, the darkness presses in on him, making him feel small and cold, despite the fact that it is a warm, clear August night. Jongin’s breath is audible, and it’s uneven to his own ears. His throat feels like it’s closing up, and there’s a heaviness that just won’t go away, as if the elephant in the room is sitting directly on his chest. Jongin lets out a small cry of frustration in between plodding footsteps. 

The week is over. Haphazardly or not, he’s made it into the Top 10--a feat he should be proud of. He and Sehun should celebrate tonight, maybe go to the club or something. Maybe Kenzie, Jenna, Alan, and him should get together and hang out one last time before Alan leaves. Baekhyun and Chanyeol touched down in LA earlier today, and Jongin hasn’t seen them in months. Today, he should be cathartic; exhausted, but at peace. Instead, all he feels is dread. Because nothing that should happen is going to happen. Tomorrow, he’s going to wake up early and go to MDC to start choreographing his next solo routine, just in case he falls into the Bottom 6 next week. He’s going to be expected to keep his head up, shoulders back, and have a smile on his face. He’ll play sweet and shy for the cameras, and be called cute, gorgeous, and talented. And in seven short days, he’s going to have to do this all over again--stand on stage and swallow tears down his closed-up throat as his friends get eliminated, pray that his name isn’t on Cat or Nigel’s list, smirk into a blinking red dot and stare directly into the blinding glare of a hot spotlight. 

_ I can’t.  _ Jongin comes to a stop and looks around. He’s in an unfamiliar part of the city, surrounded by low, squat buildings whose half-broken neon signs flicker weakly in the darkness. Jongin’s hands come up to pull fretfully at the collar of his shirt as he gasps for air.  _ I can’t.  _ There’s absolutely nothing comforting about this place. Week after week after week of increasing pressure sits on Jongin’s shoulders, and there is nothing to lessen the load. Jongin’s eyes flood with tears. He doesn’t know how to cope with this. He didn’t sign up to be battered and critiqued and stared at. Jongin doesn’t want any of it anymore; the recognition, the stages, the best of the best. He wants a pat on the head; warm eyes; a familiar voice. He aches for simple comforts--dancing in his own room, Kyungsoo’s cooking, his mother’s nagging. Jongin just can’t keep up. There’s so much grit and mess swirling around in his heart, as if the rough and busy grime of Los Angeles has seeped in through the blisters on his hands and feet, and tainted part of him with its unrelenting influence. Jongin feels sore, and beaten down, and absolutely exhausted. The worst part of it is that he can no longer remember a time when he wasn’t burnt out and worn down. Dancing is no longer fun. It’s a burden that Jongin can’t shake off. He squats down in the middle of the sidewalk and buries his head in his arms, eyes burning with unshed tears that don’t drop out of fear of being brushed away, like Jongin does all too often. 

“It’s too much,” Jongin whispers to himself, and the words have never been truer. Never in his life has he felt so scared and tense and horrible. Jongin begins to hyperventilate. His body is trying to find a way to break out of the shackles of responsibility that cling to him at all times, but it’s like Jongin is trapped in his own shell. God, Jongin just wants to run away, run away from the studio, from the city, from himself. He just wants to be done. To go home. Maybe it would have been for the better if he had been eliminated thirty minutes ago, instead of Alan. With trembling hands, Jongin reaches for his phone and blindly dials a number, one that belongs to the person who’s been with him for the absolute beginning. Who always knows what to say, and exactly how he’s feeling. Jongin lets loose a wrecked sob as soon as he hears the soft voice on the other side of the line. 

“Kai.” 

Jongin cries out into the empty darkness, dry sobs because his tears  _ still won’t fall.  _ His name, his American name. He’s scared of hearing it now, heart dropping to the floor as soon as it leaves Nigel or Cat’s lips. To hear it uttered so softly and so gently, from a voice full of concern and worry, sends a shudder through Jongin’s broken figure. 

“I was just about to call you, sweetheart.” The words are a lifeline, and Jongin clings to them in between gasps for breath. Of course she knew. Jongin was on prime time TV for two hours for all of America to watch, but seldom few would recognize the look in his eyes and know without a doubt that he was drowning in his own abilities. 

“Mom.” Jongin chokes on the word, and his heart constricts tightly. “Mom.” 

“I’m here, Kai, honey.” Marie’s voice is mild, like it always is, but it rings out sharp and lurid in the haze of Jongin’s breakdown. If it weren’t for the fact that Jongin knows there is someone listening to his uneven gasps and hiccups, he would completely succumb to the feeling of panic rising in his chest. But Marie is there, and this tiny piece of knowledge anchors Jongin, even as he squeezes tears out from his already red-rimmed eyes in the middle of an unfamiliar sidewalk. Marie doesn’t have to say anything to let Jongin know that he’s safe and unjudged. The microphone picks up on her quiet, even breathing, and perhaps unconsciously, Jongin begins to follow it, as if blindly grasping for a helping hand. Everything that his mother does is comforting. She’s someone who has accompanied him almost everyday for his entire life. Marie knows exactly what Jongin needs, and at this minute, it is just the knowledge that he isn’t alone. Jongin’s crying shifts from his feeling of utter desolation to more of an achy yearning. 

“I--I miss--” Jongin’s tears flow steadily now, unhindered by the fear of being judged or unwanted. “Miss home.” 

“I miss you, too. Sam and I. We miss you so, so much,” Marie tells him, and Jongin just weeps in frustration. “You look so beautiful on that stage. You’re such a star, sweetheart.” Is it too much to ask for a comforting hug? A clasp of a warm, soft hand? Jongin grips the fabric of his jeans and breathes out heavily. 

“I want to go home.” And he does, more than anything else. He just wants to walk away from it all and go back, not to a small, shared condo, but home. He wants the smell of citrusy lemon to hit his nose every time he walks in through the front door. He wants to put 75 cents into the binocular stand and find Peddock Island. He wants to take walks around campus with Minseok, stumbling over basic Korean sentences. Jongin is so tired of administrative meetings, costume racks, and camera flashes. They weigh him down. 

“Kai, you are so brave.” Marie murmurs while Jongin cries quietly and pines for the smallest things in life that he has lost. “And I am so proud of you for being able to grow up so fast at just a moment’s notice.” Jongin shudders. There’s no need to tell him that Marie is proud of his artistry and technical improvements on stage. She’s proud of Jongin for growing up. For navigating the world around him alone. The hurricane in Jongin’s chest calms down just a little. “Are you happy, sweetheart?” 

“No.” Jongin’s eyes fill with a fresh wave of tears as he gets brutally honest. 

“Why not?” 

“Because--” Jongin’s lower lip quivers, and he can’t formulate his thoughts correctly. “I don’t know what I’m doing. Here. Anymore.” 

“You’re feeling a little lost,” Marie makes it a statement, but open to reinterpretation, should Jongin correct her. 

“I just want to go home,” Jongin whimpers shakily. “I don’t care anymore.” There’s some shifting, the dull clink of perhaps a mug being put into the steel basin of the kitchen sink, and then Marie seems to settle down onto a couch to talk comfortably. 

“Do you remember,” she starts softly, “how I used to tell the front office that you weren’t feeling well, so that you could skip school and go dance?” 

“Mhm.” Jongin nods just a little. 

“Remember when you always made up your own dance for Sam and I during Christmas? And it was always set to a Christmas song.” 

“Yeah.” Jongin bites his lip. 

“Remember how all the neighbors always talked about you? ‘That little boy who dances--’” 

“‘He lives on the corner of--the street.’” Jongin finishes the last part of the sentence shakily. “Yeah.” 

“Kai, you are still that little boy to me.” There’s a small smile in Marie’s words. “Sam and I watch you every week. We sit on the couch and watch every minute. And you light the stage on fire, honey. You’re so talented and so mesmerizing.” Jongin swallows while Marie pauses. “But do you know what I also see? I see every moment that led up to your performance. Not just the practice footage.” 

“I--” Jongin rocks back onto his heels and sits down onto the pavement. His face is itchy and tight with streaked tears, but he pays them no mind. 

“I don’t think those glittering, professional costumes are any different than the ones you and I used to make.” 

“Mom.” 

“Your studios are so big now, but sometimes you still struggle with making your movements look expansive.” 

“Sometimes,” Jongin admits. 

“And you probably still annoy Sehun when you sing and dance in your condo.” Jongin sniffs, and wishes he had a tissue to blow his nose. 

“Yeah.” 

“You are all these little moments that have you led you here,” Marie tells him softly. “You shouldn’t forget these things. I always tell you that you need to pay attention to details.” Jongin exhales shakily and rubs at his eyes. 

“I-it’s just h-hard,” Jongin explains as best he can, “b-because there’s so much to do, and I--I’m under a lot of pressure, and I just--want to do good, but it’s a l-lot--” 

“Is that Kai?” Jongin faintly hears a muted question, and Marie’s murmur of assent. “Hey, kiddo.” Apparently he’s been put on speaker. 

“Dad,” Jongin murmurs, still wiping away tears as fast as they come. “Dad, I miss you.” 

“We miss you, too, Kai.” There’s Sam’s cordial, cheerful voice, and Marie’s soft, comforting murmur. “It’s way too quiet without you smashing a lamp or two.” Jongin laughs shakily through his tears.

“What were you saying, sweetheart?” Marie presses gently. 

“I’m just. Wanna do good, b-but I’m t-tired.” Jongin closes his swollen eyes wearily. “I’m so done.” 

“Take a break,” is Sam’s simple answer. Jongin almost rolls his eyes. 

“You have always pushed yourself so hard,” Marie murmurs. “You just don’t know your own limits sometimes.” 

“I--I’m…” Jongin rubs his face with his free hand. “I’m at my limit.” 

“I know. And I’m so sorry.” Marie’s voice is filled with a mother’s heartfelt sympathy. “But it’s also okay.” 

“Is it?” Jongin whispers. 

“It is, sweetheart. It’s okay to be tired and hit a road bump. It happens to the best of us.” 

“You’re not a machine, kiddo,” Sam chimes in. “Even machines need maintenance sometimes.” 

“It’s just that when you sit down for a second and breathe, you have to make sure you remember why you’re doing this,” Marie tells Jongin. “Why you were so excited at the beginning, and why you’re feeling like this now.” Jongin nods, even though Marie can’t see him. Why is he doing this? Why did he move across the country for the summer at a moment’s notice? 

“I just wanted to see how far I could go.” Jongin remembers now. The elation of receiving the invitation. Kyungsoo and him had just gotten over a fight, right? Their first big one. Jongin smiles a little. “I just… wanted to try.” 

“Okay.” Marie agrees. 

“And I just… didn’t think I would make it this far,” Jongin sniffs. “And I didn’t think it would be like this.” 

“Of course. Part of the experience is gaining the full picture,” Sam says wisely. “If you knew what was going to happen, then it wouldn’t be fun anymore, would it?” 

“No.” Jongin shakes his head. 

“But now you know. And you also know that you still haven’t gone quite as far as you can,” Sam stresses. “You made it through to the Top 10. You’re going on  _ tour,  _ kiddo.” 

“Yeah.” 

“So what do you think?”

“It’s your choice,” Marie reminds Jongin. “Just like when you were little. If you want to dance, then I will do everything in my power to support you. If you don’t, that’s perfectly fine, too. Come home, enjoy the rest of your summer. But no matter what you choose, it should make you happy. That’s all Sam and I want for you, is to be happy and enjoy whatever it is that you’re doing.” 

Marie’s words seem to cleanse Jongin of all the extra baggage that he’s picked up over the past few weeks. He still feels weary and sore. But instead of feeling constrained and cornered, it’s like he’s discovered that a corner is just two walls, and he’s free to walk out anytime. He had spent so much time obsessing over one goal that he had almost forgotten about why he was here in the first place--to try. Other than his own ambition, there aren’t any other obligations binding him to the show. Jongin could slack off. He could give up. He could just walk away. But why would he, if he still has a few tries left? Jongin pulls his knees up to his chest and swallows. 

“I love you,” Jongin tells his parents. “I miss you, and I wanna come home.” 

“You’re absolutely welcome to come back,” Marie assures him. “That’s perfectly fine.” 

“But I think I need to finish what I started here,” Jongin whispers. “I have… class tomorrow morning. It’s hip-hop. And I have a friend who said he would help me choreograph. And I have another boring meeting this weekend.” Jongin smiles tremulously. “I hate meetings.” 

“Then do that. We’ll still be right by your side.” Marie murmurs, and Jongin pulls up the hem of his shirt to let the last of his tears soak into the cotton. 

“We’re proud of you, kiddo.” Sam chimes in. “Make the most of your time in LA. Make it count.”

The next morning, Baekhyun opens his eyes halfway when Chanyeol’s breath ghosts over his ear as the younger leans in to wake him with a kiss on the cheek.

“Good morning,” Chanyeol croaks, all deep and raspy, and  _ oh, _ Baekhyun immediately wants a repeat of last night.

“Fuck,” Baekhyun requests eloquently. Chanyeol laughs, hoarse from a good night’s sleep.

_ “I have to get ready, love.”  _ Oh, right. Interview. The main event. Baekhyun watches his naked fiance putter around the room, slowly laying out his neat suit for the day. It seems as if Chanyeol knows that Baekhyun loves the view, because he sure takes his time, prolonging how long it takes for him to get around to brushing his teeth and washing his face. 

_ “You’ll be there all day?”  _ Baekhyun asks when Chanyeol disappears into the bathroom. Baekhyun, ever so clingy, finally sits upright and wanders into the bathroom as well, running slender fingers through his messy hair and cringing a little at how cold the white stone floors are under his bare feet. 

“Mhm.” 

“Leaving me alone?” 

_ “Sorry.”  _ Chanyeol apologizes through a mouthful of toothbrush and toothpaste, looking fondly at Baekhyun through the bathroom mirror. He spits and rinses before speaking again. “Sehun will be free, sweetheart.” 

“We haven’t seen them in so long,” Baekhyun remarks, and Chanyeol murmurs agreement as he bends over to splash water onto his face. 

“It’s strange how this summer turned out. Here I was, thinking we would all spend it together like we normally do. Looks like everyone grew wings and flew away.” 

“You talk like an old married man, Yeollie.” Baekhyun leans over the granite bathroom countertop to poke at his puffy under eye bags. 

“Well.” Chanyeol pats his face dry with a towel. “I might not be old, but I am almost married.” Baekhyun turns to him and beams, holding up his left hand and wiggling the ring finger so that the circle of gold shines under the bright hotel bathroom lights. Chanyeol reaches out to caress the back of Baekhyun’s head lightly. 

“Good luck today,” Baekhyun coos, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol’s waist. “You’ll do amazing.” 

“Let’s hope so.” The butterflies have made a comeback, and Chanyeol sighs heavily as he fusses with his hair in the mirror. 

_ “I have full faith in you,” _ Baekhyun tells him stoutly, fingers tapping away.  _ “I’m gonna go annoy Sehun for the day, I guess.”  _

_ “You’re not annoying.”  _

_ “I can be.”  _

_ “Sometimes,” _ Chanyeol concedes as Baekhyun smirks.  _ “Have fun. _ Ah, text Jongdae about dinner again so that he doesn’t forget, you know he always loses track of his agenda.” 

“Will do. Are you going to see him today?” 

“I’m not sure. Maybe.” Chanyeol shrugs, and looks over to Baekhyun, small in nothing but Chanyeol’s big white t-shirt.  _ “You look cute today.”  _

_ “You say that everyday.”  _

_ “It’s mandatory. Put some pants on and let’s get breakfast.”  _

“Oh my gosh, yes.” Baekhyun jumps off of the counter. “Hotel breakfast!” 

“I can’t believe you’re actually here,” are Sehun’s first words when he opens the door to his and Jongin’s shared condo to see Baekhyun bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet--5 feet 9 inches of pure unspent energy. 

“I missed you, too,” Baekhyun pats Sehun’s shoulder lightly and lets himself into the condo. “Wow, not bad. You and Kai share a bed?” 

“Most days he has it to himself,” Sehun points out dryly. 

“Oh, right. How are the dicks?” 

“Okay.” Sehun’s lips twitch with concealed amusement. “How are you?” 

“I’m doing fabulous.” Baekhyun wanders into the kitchen area. “That’s a lot of rabbit food,” he observes, poking his head into the fridge. Sehun trails after him. 

“Well, you know Jong.” 

“Yeah. Where is he?” 

“I think he said he’d be at MDC for half the day, then his filming site for the other half. We could visit him if we wanted, or we can wander around. Honestly, the city is like… Boston, but on brand with the west coast. If that makes sense.” 

“Yeah, and it’s hot.” 

“Yes, because of me.” Sehun laughs and steps back as Baekhyun makes to slap him playfully. 

“Good to see you haven’t changed, at least.” Baekhyun finishes his thorough inspection and carefully shuts the freezer door. “Heard you have a hot summer fling.” 

“Yeah.” 

“So? How is it?” Baekhyun waves his hands around. “Catch me up, I’m always down for details.” 

“There are no details. He’s an asshole and we fuck. His roommate is cuter and nicer and all around better, but he’s straight.” 

“Damn.” 

“Yeah.” Sehun exhales hard, which could be taken for a short laugh. 

“Anyone else? It’s not just him, right?” Baekhyun flops down onto the sofa. 

“Yeah. No. Lowkey I’m hoping this one guy I met at the club is gonna text me. Actually, two guys.” 

“What gives?” 

“Yo, is Chanyeol the one being interviewed today, or is it actually me? One got down on his knees like 5 minutes after I met him, and the other guy was just so damn cute.” Sehun scrunches his face up. “So fucking adorable. Anyways, what you wanna do? We can just… chill for the whole day, or we can wander around. Jongdae said something about dinner tonight? Which will only work if we can convince Jong to actually show up.” 

“Kai will show up. He loves me,” Baekhyun preens. “Kai care me.” 

“Ookay,” Sehun doesn’t look too convinced, but also doesn’t press the point any further. 

“Anyways, show me around. I’m sure there's a lot of stuff to do.” 

“Yeah, sure. We can visit Jong. He probably won’t notice us, but you should see his dancing. It’s kinda insane these days.” Sehun grabs his sunglasses and keys, and waves to Baekhyun. “Also, there’s really good ice cream not far from here.” 

“I’m down for ice cream. And I know; Chanyeol and I have been watching the show and calling in every week.” Baekhyun laughs. “He’s immoral.” 

“Oh, yeah. Well, his routines were pretty, uhhh, sexy before.” Sehun shrugs. 

“But it’s more interesting now, because he’s doing sexy dances for a ton of different genres. I think he’s only had, what, one or two emotional concepts?” 

“Something like that.” Sehun shoves his hands into his pockets as they walk in the direction of MDC. “Jongin mentioned he suspects they’re making him do sexy choreographies because of his looks. He said he doesn’t mind though, since he knows he can pull it off.” 

“Duh.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “I just wanna know… how does it feel to stand somewhere and be hot as fuck?” 

“It’s a pretty good feeling.” Sehun smirks while Baekhyun swats at him for the second time that morning.

“How’s he coping?” Baekhyun switches subjects rather abruptly. “With Soo being gone?” 

“He’s doing really well, actually. He’s always exhausted, but he seems decently happy,” Sehun reports. “It’s not as bad as I thought it would be. You know what’s kind of off-putting, though--he’s homesick.” 

“Of course he is,” Baekhyun clicks his tongue. “All that work and this is his first time so far away from home.” 

“Yup.” 

“What about you?” Baekhyun inquires. 

“Me? I’ve been okay. I have a lot of time, and no pressure. It’s just a nice vacation for me.” They reach MDC, and Sehun opens the door for Baekhyun, whose eyes go wide as soon as they walk into the facility. “I know, right? It’s quite a change.” 

“Wow. Little Kai Roberts living his best life.” Baekhyun peers down the hall and at the spacious dance studios, some of which are filled with classes, and some of which stand empty for the time being. “Where is he?” 

“No idea, I think we’re gonna have to play some hide and seek here.” Sehun looks in through a window to a class that appears to be hip-hop. “Oh wait, I think… yeah. Found him.” Baekhyun joins him at the window and Sehun points out Jongin in the second row from the front, about five people away from the person closest to them. 

“Okay, let’s run it through!” The two of them watch as the instructor claps out the beats to the catchy music, and Jongin body rolls his way through the choreography with the rest of the class. 

“No bones,” Baekhyun murmurs, and Sehun huffs. 

“I know, right.” 

“Break!” The instructor calls.

“Should we go in?” Baekhyun asks as the dancers break up from their orderly formation and cluster up to either grab water, run the choreography on their own, or just walk around the studio. “Can we go in?” 

“Let’s just wait and see if he notices us.” Sehun laughs and crosses his arms. “Bet he won’t.” 

“He probably won’t.” Baekhyun leans against Sehun and the two of them watch Jongin sidle up to a group of dancers to join in a conversation. 

“Oh, for fucks sake,” Sehun mutters under his breath as he recognizes one of them. 

“What?” Baekhyun asks, but he gets half his answer as a dancer looks up at the window, spots Sehun, and promptly flips him off. Sehun also raises his middle finger in retort.  _ No, you.  _ “Yo, that’s not your summer fling, is it?” 

“That he is.” Sehun sighs in defeat. Jongin looks up when Eric does as well, and yelps in surprise when he sees Baekhyun and Sehun watching from the window. 

“Hi!” Baekhyun waves excitedly, and Jongin reciprocates, making a big heart with his arms. Baekhyun returns his love with finger hearts. Jongin blows him a kiss. Eric and Sehun glare at each other pointedly through the window. The instructor claps her hands. 

“Alright, back to work!” 

The rest of the day actually passes faster than Baekhyun had expected. They watched Jongin’s practice for a little while longer, then went and got ice cream, even though it was already lunchtime. Afterwards, under the pretense of being fascinated with architecture, the two of them wandered over to one of LA’s many museums as an escape from the incessant afternoon heat, and talked about everything except for architecture while they drifted from exhibit to exhibit aimlessly. 

“I’ll see you at seven,” Sehun calls when they part ways. Dinner plans were finalized last minute, with Jongin ghosting, Sehun lurking, and Jongdae frustratedly texting to himself while Baekhyun sent the occasional meme. It’s nice, though--the summer has been pretty quiet, with everyone doing their own thing. Baekhyun showers and packs just a little bit before the door clicks and Chanyeol exhales loudly as he enters. The elder jumps on him immediately. 

“How was work, hon?” Baekhyun teases, and Chanyeol laughs tiredly as he ruffles Baekhyun’s shower-damp hair. 

“Was fine.” 

“How did it go?” Baekhyun inquires, serious now. 

“No idea.” Chanyeol kicks off his shoes and pulls at his tie. “I think I didn’t mess up, but I really don’t know what their impression of me was.” 

“As long as you showed them what you’re capable of,” Baekhyun soothes, unbuttoning Chanyeol’s shirt for him and kissing down the broad expanse of skin that slowly becomes exposed. Chanyeol shivers a little. 

“Yep. Nothing to do now but wait.” He exhales relievedly. “Glad that it’s over though.” 

“I bet,” Baekhyun murmurs against his ribcage. 

“Saw that you guys managed to solidify dinner plans.” 

“Ah, yep. We have about an hour.” Baekhyun finishes loving on Chanyeol’s upper body and pulls away mischievously. If the taller was disappointed with the discontinuation of events, he doesn’t show it; ignoring the small tent in his pants and planting a small kiss on the top of Baekhyun’s head. 

“I’ll shower and change, then.” 

“Damnnn, look at us go,” Baekhyun crows when he arrives at the dinner reservation with Chanyeol. “All back together. Who would’ve thought.” 

“Baek!” Jongin leaps up from his seat and engulfs the shorter man in a hug. “Chanyeollie.” 

“Hey, Kai.” Chanyeol lightly kisses the air near Jongin’s cheeks, which makes the younger beam with joy. 

“How are you? I missed you guys so much,” Jongin asks, because he really has. Chanyeol and Baekhyun remind him of home. “Here, sit down.” 

“I see we’re still in the habit of getting corner booths,” Chanyeol remarks as they slide in next to Jongin and Sehun. “Hullo, Sehun.” 

“What’s good, Chanyeol?” 

“Where’s Jongdae?” Baekhyun asks, then answers the question for himself even as Sehun opens his mouth. “Late. Of course he is.” 

“Some things never change,” Sehun agrees. 

“Funny you should say that, because I was just going to bring up how much your dancing has improved,” Baekhyun nods towards Jongin. “Bouncing around and shaking it like nobody’s business.” 

“You put it so crudely.” But Jongin still blushes happily. 

“Oh, you watched his practice?” Chanyeol asks Baekhyun. 

“Yeah. Sehun and I were good little fanboys. Then we got ice cream and got lost in some museum.” 

“At least it had AC,” Sehun supplies.

“And there was that one really twisty sculpture.” 

“Oh, yeah. Good landmark.” 

“Dumb and dumber,” Chanyeol teases, tossing an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder good-naturedly when the other pouts. 

“Before you all start harping on me, I am fashionably late,” Jongdae announces, and Jongin reaches for Sehun’s hand under the table when he stiffens up at the sight of Seojun’s hand clasped in Jongdae’s. All eyes turn to her interestedly, and she smiles politely. “My girlfriend, Seojun.” 

“Awww, Dae.” Baekhyun stands up to shake hands. “Byun Baekhyun. Are you aware that in high school, Jongdae took--” 

“Are you trying to embarrass me already?” Jongdae whines. 

“No! You jump to conclusions, I was going to tell her that you took all my Chemistry notes for me while I skipped class,” Baekhyun fakes looking wounded while Seojun bursts into laughter. “He’s a good guy. Mostly.” 

“Mostly,” Jongin agrees, and while Jongdae fake-glares at him, Chanyeol cordially shakes hands and introduces himself to Seojun. 

“Where is the ‘mostly’ coming from?” Jongdae grouses as he and Seojun sit down next to Chanyeol, pushing Sehun and Jongin to the other opening of the booth. “Whatever. Anyways, this is my friend group from high school. Nice bunch of people.” He hesitates, then smiles. “Mostly.” 

“Wounded, hyung.” One side of Sehun’s mouth curves up wryly. “It’s good to see you again, Seojun. Glad to see you guys are doing well.” 

“Ah, yeah.” Seojun smiles knowingly. “We’ve been good. How are you? And… Jongin? Or Kai…?” 

“Either is fine! And I’ve been pretty busy, but not bad.” 

“Your boyfriend is back in Korea, right?” 

“Yeah.” Jongin nods. “Just for a few more months though.” 

“I see.” The three of them turn their attention to Jongdae and Chanyeol, and Seojun perks up in recognition when she hears ‘Nvidia lunch’. 

“By the way, at my lunch today, everyone was speculating about someone in a suit who was visiting the office,” she tells Jongdae. “I didn’t personally see him, but we were all wondering who it was.” 

“Interesting.” 

“Someone mentioned that he might have been important. A politician or actor.” 

“Don’t worry,” Jongdae reaches for his menu casually. “He definitely isn’t important.” 

_ “Yah!”  _ Chanyeol barks, folding his arms and glaring at Jongdae over the table. Jongdae smirks at him. “I felt so out of place.” 

“Why would you show up to an interview in a suit at a tech company in California in the first place?” Jongdae chuckles and leans back in his chair; the epitome of suave. “That’s on you.” 

“I didn’t know,” Chanyeol grumbles. “Literally everyone was staring at me when I walked through the office. It was so awkward.” 

“There’s a lot to look at,” Baekhyun pipes up helpfully. 

“Thank you, love. But it was just so strange. You have me, in my suit and tie, sitting up straight in the chair. And on the other side, my interviewer wasn’t even wearing shoes.” Chanyeol pinches the bridge of his nose in between his index finger and thumb just thinking about it. “At one point, I thought he was actually going to put his feet up on the desk.” 

“I do that,” Jongdae intones, shrugging. “Wait, but was it just one person interviewing you? No, right?”

“Oh, no. No, it was multiple people.” Chanyeol clears his throat. “The team manager had socks on, and I think I only counted two pairs of shoes. Well, if slippers could be shoes. Also someone had really cool pizza socks. Five people in total, all members of my prospective team.” 

“What did they ask you?” Jongdae inquires. 

“Really, really simple stuff at first; I think it was just to see if I had the basics down. I’m glad I reviewed everything.” 

“Ah, same.” Jongdae nods. “Yeah, they had me do a memcopy in my interview. Thank God I had studied beforehand and knew how to make it aligned.” 

“They asked me for six or seven ways to fix setup violations,” Chanyeol shares. 

“Oh, wasn’t that my bedtime story?” Baekhyun interjects. 

“Huh? Oh, yes. Yep.” Chanyeol ruffles Baekhyun’s hair. “Glad I looked over that one a couple weeks ago.” 

“What do setup… violations… have to do with bedtime stories?” Jongin asks. 

“He confused me to sleep,” Baekhyun explains. 

“What.” 

“Soo’s never told you about all the fascinating ways you can alleviate timing problems in chip design so that you can get a good night’s sleep? Damn. Tell him he’s slacking.” Baekhyun reaches for Chanyeol’s hand on the table and intertwines their fingers together while Jongin just stares at him blankly. 

“...Also asked for really specific scenarios after that,” Chanyeol is saying to Jongdae and Seojun. 

“Probably related to whatever the team is working on,” Seojun supplies. 

“Yes, I figured as much. I was still surprised though--didn’t think they would ask those types of things in interviews.” 

“I literally told you that they were going to do that,” Jongdae protests. “But you didn’t listen. You were all like, ‘oH iT’s FiNe, i gOt tHiS.’” 

“You’re a software engineer,” Chanyeol dismisses him. “I’m a physical design engineer. I thought it would be different.” 

“Well, you thought wrong.” 

“Also, four out of five words that come out of your mouth are complaints, so I might have accidentally written it off.” 

“Excuse me?” Jongdae opens his mouth to complain, then decides against it and folds one of Seojun’s hands into his own instead. Seojun just looks over at him fondly. 

“Chanyeol knows you well.” 

_ “Excuse me???”  _ Jongdae pouts while Seojun laughs affectionately.

“I do know him well. Anyways, I don’t really know what they thought of me, but I think I did well,” Chanyeol finishes, absentmindedly letting Baekhyun play with his hand under the table.

“Yeah, sounds like you did just fine,” Jongdae concedes, and Seojun nods as well. 

“Does he talk about us a lot?” Baekhyun inquires suddenly, looking at Seojun. Jongdae exchanges a look with his girlfriend. 

“Sometimes, right?” Seojun laughs. 

“A little bit,” Jongdae nods. “Enough that she knows you’re a brat, and Chanyeol’s a godsend, and Kai’s a sweetheart, and Sehun’s my boo.” 

“Please, never call me your boo again,” Sehun deadpans. 

“I’m not a brat,” Baekhyun rolls his eyes. 

“‘Course you’re not,” Chanyeol assures him. 

“I actually have to run after this,” Jongin interjects. “Just so you all know. I have another practice.” 

“Of course you do,” Jongdae sighs. “What class is it?” 

“It’s just a practice session.” Jongin shrugs. 

“Gotcha.” The conversation flows amiably throughout the rest of dinner. Baekhyun makes it a point to fluster Jongdae as much as possible in front of Seojun, but she just laughs and leans her head on Jongdae’s shoulder. Chanyeol, Jongin, and Sehun chat a little about LA and how their summers have been going. When Chanyeol bemoans his thesis, Jongin brings up Kyungsoo, and there’s a little bit of conversation on that subject as well. 

“I miss him, but it’s just been busy, so I’m not moping,” Jongin explains. “The show is definitely getting more and more intense.” 

“From a spectator view, it’s been building up tension,” Chanyeol agrees. “But Baek and I really enjoy watching you. It’s good to hear Kyungsoo is doing well, too. We text sometimes, you know.” 

“I know.” Jongin laughs. “Word gets around in our little group pretty fast.” 

“That’s for sure. I love how we’re all just sitting here and reminiscing,” Chanyeol chuckles while Baekhyun snuggles into his side. “You two aren’t even out of undergrad yet.” He points to Jongin and Sehun. “And we’re all acting like this is some high school reunion.” 

“Technically it is,” Sehun points out. 

“The last we met was Christmas. That felt like completely different circumstances,” Jongin says quietly. “I never would have thought we would be here.” 

“It’s a change,” Baekhyun agrees. He’s full of good food, which means he’s starting to get drowsy and clingy. Chanyeol indulges him readily. Jongin checks his phone, then looks up. 

“Hey!” Sehun glances up as well, then looks at Jongin incredulously as Eric walks up to the table, nodding at Jongin. 

“What are you doing here?” Sehun asks Eric, who looks nonplussed. Baekhyun begins whispering furiously in Chanyeol’s ear, and the taller’s mouth twitches with amusement as he grasps the relationship. 

“Picking Kai up for practice…?” Eric makes it a question with his intonation and a raised eyebrow. “Am I not allowed to?” 

“What? Damn, do whatever, see if I care.” Sehun gives him a side-eye. “Didn’t know you could actually be nice to people.” 

“He is nice,” Jongin protests. “Thanks, Eric.” 

“No problem. You’re on my way there anyways, I told you that.” Jongin awkwardly stands up and shuffles his way out of the booth, accidentally losing his balance and sitting down on Sehun’s lap as he does so. 

“Uhf!”

“Oops, sorry, Sehunnie.”

“I’m kidding, you’re light as fuck.” Sehun pats Jongin’s back as he gets up.

“It was so good to see you two,” Jongin coos to Baekhyun and Chanyeol. “Have a safe flight home, okay? Let me know when you get back. Text me, even if it’s late.” 

“Okay, mom.” Baekhyun hugs Jongin tightly. “Come back soon, it’s very boring at home. Or actually, don’t. You can’t come back until you win.” Jongin laughs at this. 

“I don’t think I’ll win, but okay.” He moves to Chanyeol, who also embraces him with a hug. 

“You can do it,” Chanyeol murmurs into his ear. “Kyungsoo will be back for you soon, too. He misses you a lot.” 

“I know. Thank you, Yeollie.” Jongin buries himself into Chanyeol’s chest. The elder’s presence is warm and reassuring, reminiscent of the way Kyungsoo can calm Jongin down with just a few words. “Keep working hard.” 

“You, too.” 

“Hey, dude.” Eric nods at Sehun. “You wanna come over, or are you gonna be with Kai tonight?” 

“Uh.” Sehun fixes him with a puzzled look. “The way you phrased that is pretty awkward, but I can come over if you want.” 

“How else do you want me to phrase it?” Eric shrugs. “Are you fucking Kai or do you wanna get fucked? You want everyone to know how much you lik--” 

“Wait, WHAT?” Baekhyun collapses before anyone else, falling out of the booth to curl up in a ball on the floor. 

“Huh?” Jongin freezes and looks between Eric and Sehun, the latter of which silently leans his elbows on the table and buries his face into his hands. Chanyeol smacks Jongdae on the arm as he explodes. 

“Ow!” Jongdae whines. Eric looks to Jongin, who looks like he wants to drill a hole into the floor and just disappear. 

“We aren’t…” Jongin shakes his head frantically. “I-it’s NOT like that.” 

“You,” Sehun looks up at Eric with an expression that’s half-pitying, half-incredulous. “are actually fucking stupid.” 

“Is this not a triple date I’m seeing here?” Eric gestures to Baekhyun and Chanyeol, Jongdae and Seojun, and between Jongin and Sehun. “You two share the same bed, for fuck’s sake.” 

“Sehun _ ,”  _ Baekhyun gets out in between howls of laughter. Chanyeol’s flailing only gets more and more violent, and Jongdae is caught between amusement and pain. Seojun stifles her laughter behind the back of her hand. “You have taste. I LOVE this guy.” 

“We’re just friends,” Jongin tells the palms of his hands as he hides his beet red face. “I--I--” 

“He’s fucking easy for his boy toy,” Sehun states rather plainly. “Which, I might add, is not me.” 

“Oh, you have a boy toy--” 

“Boyfriend.” Jongin corrects. “We’re long distance.” 

“Dude.” Eric fixes Sehun with an unimpressed look. “I literally have you as ‘Kai’s Dude’ in my phone.” At this, Baekhyun just laughs harder and clutches his stomach. 

_ “Ah, why?!”  _ Jongdae explodes into a slew of pissed-off sounding Korean as Chanyeol continues to pummel his shoulder.  _ “Yah! Could you laugh WITHOUT injuring everybody in your big ass wingspan?”  _

“People are starting to look at us,” Jongin whispers, shuffling towards the exit.

“Hey,” Chanyeol stands up and steps over his incoherent fiance to place a hand on Jongin’s shoulder. “It’s--” He starts laughing again while trying to comfort Jongin, and the younger visibly tenses up.  _ “It’s fine, Jonginie. We’re not laughing at you.” _

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that, dude.” Eric’s voice softens as he approaches Jongin. “Didn’t mean to embarrass you. I didn’t know.” 

“You’re fine.” Jongin sighs and pats his too-warm cheeks. “Geez.” 

“You wanna head out now?” 

“Yeah, we should go.” Jongin turns towards his friends and waves. “I’ll be off now. See you guys.” 

“Take care, little Kai.” Baekhyun blows him a kiss from his place on the floor. 

“Get up, sweetheart, it’s so gross down there…” Chanyeol sighs and lifts Baekhyun to his feet. “Good-bye, Kai. See you soon.” 

“Sorry about that again,” Eric apologizes once more. 

“No, you’re fine, really.” Jongin slides into the passenger seat. “Not your fault.” 

“I still don’t understand how you two are… friends.” Eric sighs as he starts the car. “You’re such a sweetheart. Unlike him.” 

“Oh…” Jongin folds his hands in his lap. “Thanks?” 

“Cute.” Eric smiles. “How’s MDC treating you?” 

“I assisted Ian with a class the other day,” Jongin says quietly after he finishes blushing at Eric’s easy flirting. “He said I could use it as an opportunity to learn more about the process of choreography.” 

“Woah, you taught a masterclass?” 

“No. I just helped out. It was his masterclass for like… kids and teenagers.” 

“Oh, I see. There are some really talented kids in that group,” Eric remarks. 

“Yeah! And the little ones are cute,” Jongin coos. “I love kids. It was a really fun class to work with. And it was so interesting, too, because I realized that I understand the concept and choreo so much more if I explain it step-by-step to other people. It was so cool to learn that way.” 

“Yeah, Ian’s got all these amazing ideas for learning that aren’t just limited to doing body roll after body roll in front of the mirror,” Eric nods in agreement. “He’s hella chill.” 

“I’ve also noticed all the instructors and dancers are so close with each other,” Jongin remarks. “Ian doesn’t really treat me like I’m his student. He just treats me as a co-teacher.”

“Yeah, of course. We’re all just a big family here. No need to be so shy, dude.” Eric chuckles. “Everyone loves you.” 

“Oh.” Jongin’s cheeks heat up. “Yeah, I’m--I’ve made some really great friends here and on the show.” 

“See? You fit in perfectly. You know some of the dancers and instructors call in for you every week on SYTYCD, right?” 

“Huh?” Jongin gasps. “Wait, really?” 

“Cutie pie.” Eric’s voice is amused. “Do you have any idea how admired you are? You’re just so adorable, nobody can resist you. And then when you’re up on that stage--fuck, you’re so hot. Your facial expressions are to die for. You’re insane.” 

“That’s… a little overboard,” Jongin protests, fanning his face furiously. “I’m not--I’m just--I’m really grateful. Wow…” 

“Everyone supports each other at MDC,” Eric tells Jongin. “It’s an awesome place to be. I’m glad you found your way here.” 

“I know. Me, too. I never expected that I would ever step foot in a place like MDC,” Jongin murmurs. “I just… I just like to dance.” 

“Nobody’s stopping you, dude. Dance your heart out.” Eric neatly pulls into the parking lot of MDC. “Let’s go practice, yeah?” 

_ “I’m happy,”  _ Baekhyun murmurs, curled up across two seats and under a blue blanket to comfortably lay his head on Chanyeol’s lap. Their flight back is pretty quiet, and apparently they don’t have a neighbor. Chanyeol’s seat is lazily reclined, and the younger is content to just card his fingers through Baekhyun’s hair. 

_ “Because I’m spending the weekend with you as well?”  _ Chanyeol’s deep voice is barely audible above the rumble of the engines, but Baekhyun hums and nods. 

_ “Got to spend time together,” _ Baekhyun says softly. One hand escapes from under his blanket to rest next to his face and press into the soft flesh of Chanyeol’s inner thigh. Chanyeol doesn’t think anything of it until Baekhyun moves further back on Chanyeol’s leg to caress more warmth in his hands, working his way up to more naughty areas. Chanyeol twitches now, and fills out halfway just from the light teasing. It isn’t even his fault; Baekhyun’s been leaving him hanging for hours now--first at the hotel, then under the table at dinner, and now here. 

_ “Sweetheart,”  _ Chanyeol utters softly into the darkened cabin.  _ “Are you going to tease me for another six hours?”  _

_ “Not unless you want me to.”  _ Baekhyun’s hand disappears, and the beginnings of a ball of heat in Chanyeol’s gut slowly unclench. What he’s completely unprepared for though, is Baekhyun sliding closer to his crotch to press his nose right up against his clothed dick and nuzzle at it fondly. 

_ “What are you doing?”  _ Chanyeol could laugh at Baekhyun’s odd quirks, if he weren’t so used to them already. 

“Holding communion with your dick.” __

“And has it said anything interesting?” Chanyeol inquires, half-curious, half-fond. 

_ “It wants me to ride it.”  _

_ “That it does,”  _ Chanyeol concedes, feeling the heat stir in his lower belly again when Baekhyun breathes a puff of hot air through his shorts and straight onto his dick.  _ “Jesus. Here?”  _

_ “I’ve always wanted to be a part of the Mile-High Club.”  _ Baekhyun’s lips move subtly against Chanyeol’s half-hardness as he speaks his easy, lilting Korean, and one of Chanyeol's hands has moved to cradle the back of Baekhyun’s head as encouragement.  _ “You did so good today, babe,”  _ Baekhyun purrs, bringing one hand up to wrap around Chanyeol’s shaft outside of the layers of clothing. In this position, he is literally cuddling with Chanyeol’s erection. If it weren’t so endearing, Chanyeol would tease him. 

_ “Did I?”  _ Chanyeol wonders out loud unironically. 

_ “You did,”  _ Baekhyun reassures him, moving his hand a little. Chanyeol’s legs have invitingly spread just a little wider to accommodate for his hard-on. 

“Oh,” Chanyeol breathes when Baekhyun moves the palm of his hand directly over the head of his dick. “Sweetheart, I don’t… know…  _ if this is a good idea…” _ But everything from the deep register of his voice, to his lax body language, screams that Chanyeol thinks this is a very good idea. Baekhyun’s hand wanders upwards, then slips under the waistband of Chanyeol’s shorts and underwear. Chanyeol twitches in anticipation, then curls his fingers tighter in Baekhyun’s hair when he feels the soft, warm hand close around his erection. Baekhyun delivers slow, lighthanded strokes, still bordering on the edge of teasing, with the way the tips of his fingers only graze the underside of Chanyeol’s cock, and trace the vein that runs along his shaft. Chanyeol’s breaths become slow and heavy as he tries to maintain his composure and simply ride the feeling of being led along by his playful fiance. Still, it’s hard to ignore the simmering pool of liquid fire that causes Chanyeol to shift subtly, hoping to seek out more friction from the small, devilish hand. Baekhyun’s thumb trails upwards, along the contours of the mushroom-shaped head of Chanyeol’s cock, and rubs ever-so-softly against the wet slit. Chanyeol’s head lolls to the side, even though he keeps his eyes closed. 

_ “Feels good?”  _ Baekhyun whispers, all liquid seduction and playful mirth. Chanyeol only chuckles quietly.

_ “You little minx.”  _

_ “What?”  _ Baekhyun’s grip tightens incrementally around Chanyeol’s hardness, so that Chanyeol begins to fret for friction.  _ “Just wanted to reward you for doing well today.”  _

_ “Some reward,”  _ Chanyeol murmurs hoarsely, but half of it is cut out as Baekhyun begins to move his fist up and down slowly. The dryness stops Baekhyun from being fluid in his movements, but the friction is good nonetheless; Chanyeol’s other hand, which had been gripping the armrest closest to the window, wanders over to stroke along Baekhyun’s jawline and the arch of his cheekbone with his thumb. When it trails down, Baekhyun lifts his head up a little to lick kittenishly at the tips of Chanyeol’s middle and index fingers. 

_ “You’re like a little puppy.”  _

“Woof,” Baekhyun deadpans, before kissing the joint of Chanyeol’s fingers and resuming his slow, dry stroking, although his thumb occasionally swipes across the head of Chanyeol’s cock to gather more precum.

_ “Come up here,”  _ Chanyeol requests, so Baekhyun sits up, clutching the blanket around his shoulders and half-straddling Chanyeol’s legs to lie on his chest. Nobody else in the cabin notices the two of them--the plane is half-empty anyway, and the nearest passengers are three rows back from them. Chanyeol wraps his arms around Baekhyun’s waist and slips his hands underneath his shirt while the smaller man wiggles against Chanyeol’s hip. “Kiss me.” 

_ “You’re such a sap.”  _ Baekhyun smiles into the kiss, especially when Chanyeol lightly pinches the skin on the side of his waist in retribution. 

_ “Who else am I going to kiss?”  _ is Chanyeol’s reasonable answer. The low drone of air resistance, the little jostles as the aircraft hits patches of turbulence, and the limited space would usually keep the taller man tense and nervous. But Baekhyun is right there, leaving little kisses all along Chanyeol’s jawline and up to his lips, serving as a perfect distraction from Chanyeol’s least favorite place. Baekhyun’s tongue glides warm and wet against Chanyeol’s, then ventures inside to lick sweetly along the sensitive roof of Chanyeol’s mouth; Chanyeol goes pliant under Baekhyun, physically melting deeper into the airplane seat as Baekhyun presses against him, sweet in some parts, naughty in others, but perfectly melded to Chanyeol’s every curve and line. 

_ “How is this going to work?”  _ Chanyeol muses. Even though they’re pressed completely flush against each other, there’s no wiggle room. Baekhyun is already splayed out across half of the middle seat as is, seeing as there’s no space between Chanyeol’s window seat and the curved wall of the airplane cabin on his left side. Not to mention Baekhyun’s body heat, combined with the blanket covering them, is starting to make Chanyeol uncomfortable. But Baekhyun, not one to be deterred when there’s the promise of sex, simply reaches into his pocket and presses a bottle into Chanyeol’s hand. 

_ “Hold that for me.”  _

_ “Huh?”  _ Chanyeol obeys, clutching the bottle of what is presumably lube while Baekhyun fumbles with his pants, doing something like a 180 on Chanyeol’s lap to shove them off of his hips. They bunch up somewhere at his knees.

_ “I can stay like this and you can hold me?”  _ Baekhyun suggests, sitting in Chanyeol’s lap so that his back is against the younger’s chest.  _ “Or I could turn around again and ride you.”  _

Chanyeol stifles his laughter.  _ “You’re going to have to ride me either way, love.”  _

“Fuck, you’re so right.” Baekhyun’s giggles escape him even as he adjusts the blanket to hide the fact that he is half-nude, and awkwardly rearranges himself so that they’re chest to chest again. “Oh, fuck--” Baekhyun’s knees keep hitting the side of the cabin wall, and there’s an awful lot of rustling that goes along with his shifting and moving. His right leg is precariously on top of Chanyeol’s left thigh, as well as pressed flush against the wall, while his other leg is on the middle seat. Despite Baekhyun’s intentions, he’s still unsuccessful in straddling Chanyeol, though not for lack of effort on his part. 

_ “You’re so loud,”  _ Chanyeol complains, but he’s also laughing silently, helplessly trapped underneath an eager-eyed Baekhyun. “This position isn’t going to work, don’t even try.” 

“I’m tiny! It might work.” Baekhyun smothers his giggles into the side of Chanyeol’s neck. “Can you scoot away from the wall a little? Just move to your right--” 

“Honey, no.” Chanyeol slips his hands inside Baekhyun’s shirt and wraps a hand around his bare waist to keep his squirming fiance still. “This is such a mess, can’t you wait four hours until--shit--” Chanyeol’s eyes flutter closed as Baekhyun’s knee nudges against his erection, and his hand also reaches down to give Chanyeol a few strokes over his shorts.

_ “Your dick doesn’t think this is a mess,”  _ Baekhyun tells him, leaning in to kiss Chanyeol. 

“We’re gonna get caught,” Chanyeol sighs out in between waves of pleasure. 

“Have some faith.” Baekhyun removes his hand from atop Chanyeol’s erection and tugs insistently at the waistband of his shorts. He looks up at the younger, who just cracks a smile and shakes his head helplessly. 

_ “What do you want me to do?”  _

_ “Take your shorts off.”  _

“In this position?” Chanyeol claps a hand to his mouth to stifle all laughter.

_ “Just--”  _ Baekhyun lifts the leg that is on top of Chanyeol’s thigh and shifts all his weight onto his other leg, then pulls at the taller’s waistband with the hand that isn’t gripping Chanyeol’s shoulders for balance. Chanyeol manages to lift his hips up about half an inch, so that his shorts slip halfway down his butt, and just enough to let his cock spring free, hard despite all the awkward maneuvering. “Hand me the lube.” 

_ “Fuck, I’m gonna have to finger you, this is not going to work,”  _ Chanyeol hisses. 

“Check my ass,” is Baekhyun’s only explanation. 

“What?” Chanyeol’s fingers drift downwards and graze the small, hard stud of Baekhyun’s favorite jeweled butt plug. As hot as it is, Chanyeol only sighs and taps the plug a little to make Baekhyun jolt at the stimulation. Of course this was premeditated.

“Please hand me the lube,” Baekhyun requests a little too loudly.

_ “Could you maybe stick to Korean?”  _

“I want your cock up my ass, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun doesn’t even whisper this time, just says it quietly enough to be heard over the noise of the plane. Chanyeol winces and cranes his head to look around. “Literally nobody cares, babe.” Hot, slippery hands suddenly grasp firmly at Chanyeol’s cock and start stroking, and Chanyeol’s lips part in ecstasy. Baekhyun watches the shadowy shape of his fiance in awe, cramped in the small space, but so obviously turned on. 

_ “Fuck, get in me.”  _ Baekhyun scoots forward while Chanyeol reaches behind him to wiggle the plug out of his ass. Baekhyun’s breath catches in his throat when it slips out, then he bursts into quiet giggles as he realizes there is absolutely no way he can get close enough to Chanyeol’s crotch to actually get a dick up his ass, unless he wants to kneel on the other’s stomach. Chanyeol just looks at him, half-exasperated, half-fond in the darkness as Baekhyun collapses sideways into Chanyeol’s lap, doubled up in silent amusement. His back hits the cabin wall with a dull ‘thump’, and Chanyeol runs his hands along the inside of Baekhyun’s bare thighs under the blanket, feeling them quiver when his hands trail up and closer to Baekhyun’s erection. The elder’s quiet laughter turns into small, stifled whimpers when Chanyeol takes Baekhyun’s cock in his hand and rubs him a few times. 

_ “I can just get you off like this,”  _ Chanyeol murmurs, rubbing the pad of his thumb firmly against the leaking slit of Baekhyun’s cock. Baekhyun’s head tilts back against the wall and his lips part open neatly. 

_ “Wh-where’s the f-fun in that?”  _ Baekhyun’s thighs shake when Chanyeol’s other hand reaches around Baekhyun’s waist to pet handfuls of soft, warm, inner thigh, and fondle his balls. 

_ “This isn’t fun?”  _

“Ah, ah,” Baekhyun keens from deep in the back of his throat. “I want--” 

“Hmm?” 

“Lemme try again.” 

“Oh my fucking God.” Chanyeol’s brows furrow together in affectionate exasperation.  _ “We have already established that you can’t--”  _

_ “Just--slouch a little, and I’ll… do… something…”  _ Baekhyun feels Chanyeol shift under him, and he sits up from against the wall. 

“Now what?” Chanyeol’s legs are awkwardly bent towards the right so as to allow for leg room, and he’s slouching so much that only his head and the top half of his back actually lean against the backrest. Baekhyun takes one look at his fiance’s ridiculous position and is rendered useless.  _ “Sweetheart, I’m just following directions. Don’t laugh at your own handiwork.”  _

_ “Sorry.”  _ Baekhyun swallows the rest of his laughter, then wriggles around to kneel on Chanyeol’s thigh and part of his stomach that is closest to the cabin wall. Chanyeol winces, but doesn’t complain. Baekhyun’s other knee is on the middle seat; when he scoots forward and twists his body at a very specific angle, he manages to align the tip of Chanyeol’s cock with his hole. Baekhyun’s glee comes back when the head of Chanyeol’s cock misses his entrance twice. 

_ “Just… sit?”  _ Chanyeol hisses exasperatedly, although the slide in between Baekhyun’s asscheeks also feels good.

_ “It’s a weird angle.”  _ Baekhyun literally won’t stop giggling.  _ “Holy shit, I’m so tired. Fuck me. Ah, wait--you can’t.”  _

_ “I hate you.”  _ Chanyeol sighs with absolutely zero menace. Baekhyun gives up on penetration and leans forward to splay over Chanyeol’s chest, burying his head against Chanyeol’s neck to just  _ laugh  _ at their situation. Chanyeol nibbles at the shell of the elder’s ear affectionately and, with some difficulty, reaches down to grasp his own cock to direct it towards Baekhyun’s hole. A little push on Baekhyun’s shoulder, and the head breaches the tight ring of muscle. Baekhyun’s laughter hitches as he sinks down, and peters out into a contented sigh.

_ “Oh, shit, it worked. Babe, I’m actually sitting on your cock. My back hurts. Yeol, you’re so big--” _

_ “You are so noisy,”  _ Chanyeol murmurs, even though the heat is incredible and he’s starting to lose himself in the feeling of Baekhyun, tight and clenching desperately around the base of his cock.  _ “Fuck, feels good.”  _

_ “Yeah?”  _ Baekhyun grinds filthily downwards, and Chanyeol’s gut tightens. Hot; everything is so hot. Chanyeol’s back feels like it’s covered in sweat, and Baekhyun’s skin radiates warmth as Chanyeol’s big hands roam under his shirt as best they can in the cramped space. Baekhyun leans forwards to kiss him.  _ “How are we gonna--”  _

_ “Cum? Move? I have no fucking idea.”  _ Chanyeol murmurs in between the slide of plush lips against each other. 

“Teamwork,” Baekhyun declares, and with the help of his knees, lifts himself up slightly from Chanyeol’s cock. Chanyeol thrusts upwards as he sinks back down, and… yeah, it’s not the best of techniques, but it kind of works, and Chanyeol exchanges amused smirks with Baekhyun in the dark. 

_ “Gonna have to… really force myself to cum,”  _ Baekhyun admits, which sends Chanyeol into a fit of silent laughter. 

_ “Babe, you didn’t think this through,”  _ Chanyeol coos, still slowly pushing upwards into Baekhyun. Really, Chanyeol’s just impressed that they’ve made it this far. 

_ “I did! I asked Sehun, he said it was probably plausible,”  _ Baekhyun hisses, dropping himself down onto Chanyeol’s cock a little harder this time and accidentally hitting the side of the cabin wall with his knee again.  _ “Ow--ahh.”  _

_ “Sehun thinks with his dick, not his brain,”  _ Chanyeol mutters, but it is kind of working. At the very least, it’s thrilling and new, even if they’re getting nowhere near orgasm. Chanyeol decides the plane ride is in charge of the destination; Baekhyun’s ride is about the journey.  _ “Baek, turn around.”  _

_ “Why? I don’t get any leverage that way.”  _

_ “Yes, you do. Just kneel and then sit back on me.”  _ Chanyeol cranes his head up to drop one more kiss on Baekhyun’s lips before he slips out of Baekhyun, and scoots back up into a normal sitting position relievedly. The ache in his back subsides just a little. More bangs, more rustling, more blanket tucking and adjusting. Baekhyun’s shoulders won’t stop shaking from suppressed snickers. Chanyeol just bites back a smile and pulls Baekhyun half into his lap. Baekhyun sinks down on his cock and finds it much easier to fuck himself on Chanyeol, even though Chanyeol’s left thigh is going to be  _ so  _ sore from bearing the weight of Baekhyun’s knee on it. 

“You’re so smart, Yeol.” 

“Tell that to my interviewers, please.” Chanyeol brackets Baekhyun’s hips with his hands and thrusts upwards as subtly as he can as well. 

_ “So you didn’t… wanna have sloppy hotel pool sex… but you’re fine with… messy airplane sex?”  _ Baekhyun asks in between little pants of exertion and pleasure. 

_ “I mean.”  _ Chanyeol pauses so long in between his words that Baekhyun’s head turns to the side to glance back at him.  _ “Neither were on my to-do list, but now that we’re here…”  _

_ “Was I on your to-do list? Fuck.”  _

_ “Yes, but when we got home, love.”  _ Chanyeol reaches around to tug little strokes up and down Baekhyun’s cock, which bounces up and down in time with his movements. Baekhyun stifles his cry of surprise.  _ “C’mon, baby.”  _

_ “Are you close?”  _ Baekhyun inquires, voice hitched and tight. 

_ “I could be.”  _ Chanyeol breaks into a smile at his own answer.  _ “Maybe if you cum first.”  _

_ “So sweet.”  _ Baekhyun begins to move incrementally faster. He had never realized how difficult it was to fuck without making any noise at all until he was forced to stay silent. If it weren’t for the fact that Chanyeol knows exactly how to get Baekhyun off after 8 years together, the elder probably wouldn’t have cum. But Chanyeol does that circle-y thing with his thumb, grips him just right, and Baekhyun bites down on his lower lip and lets his head fall back. 

“I’m--” 

_ “Fuck, give me some more warning,”  _ Chanyeol hisses, and cupping his hand over the tip of Baekhyun’s cock to limit the amount of clean up they’re going to have to do. Baekhyun shudders through the waves of pleasure and clenches around Chanyeol’s cock. It isn’t mind blowing by any means, but an orgasm is an orgasm. Chanyeol’s purr of satisfaction is as low as the sound of the wind whipping past the plane. 

_ “Should I cum in you or pull out?”  _ Chanyeol asks, thrusting up into Baekhyun’s hole while Baekhyun holds out against the gentle overstimulation.  _ “Fuck, this is so messy.”  _ One hand is literally cupping Baekhyun’s cum, and it hovers awkwardly while Chanyeol fucks into Baekhyun.

_ “I don’t know,”  _ Baekhyun feels sticky and heavy and like he’s about to overheat. It’s  _ summer,  _ for fucks sake, and he has a blanket wrapped around him.  _ “You pick.”  _

_ “It’s probably better if I pull out, love. There are napkins in my backpack, by the way.”  _ Baekhyun awkwardly tumbles off of Chanyeol’s cock and out of his lap, and quickly offers Chanyeol part of the blanket to cover his lower half while he perches on the very edge of the adjacent airplane seat and reaches down for Chanyeol’s bag. Napkins are procured, and Baekhyun wipes himself down as best he can first before pressing two into Chanyeol’s cum-stained hand. Baekhyun reclines his chair, curls up next to Chanyeol, and sneaks a hand under the blanket to stroke Chanyeol to completion. Chanyeol cums quietly, with a small grunt and soft exhale into the last of the napkins. Baekhyun draws away to stick his other leg back into his shorts and pull them up. 

_ “Where do I put these?”  _ Chanyeol holds up a handful of cum-stained napkins in his right hand. 

“Fuck if I know.” Baekhyun shrugs carelessly, all drowsy and satiated. Mission accomplished, orgasm reached at an altitude of 35,508 feet. Everything else is beyond his worries. Chanyeol fumbles for his backpack and throws them into an empty pocket half-heartedly, along with the discarded butt plug. Baekhyun ditches the blanket when Chanyeol leans back again, and nestles himself into Chanyeol’s side. 

“Thoughts?” Baekhyun asks. Chanyeol sighs, and lazily ruffles Baekhyun’s hair. 

“3/10. But it’s the thought that counts. Thank you.” Chanyeol closes his eyes while Baekhyun presses a kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter is so long :3 if you made it to this point _claps_  
>  Baekhyun's such  
> A horny little brat  
> But ChanBaek is so cute ;-;  
> Will keep updating as regularly as possible--it's looking like ~2 weeks for every chapter, so I suppose that will have to do XD  
> We'll be back soon! Love <3 from <3 justafei <3333
> 
> Chanyeol is being just being nice to Baekhyun with that 3/10 rating. Way too nice for his own good.
> 
> The stakes are getting higher and naturally the tension rises for all of our cuties. I'm sure they will make it out just fine - one way or the other.
> 
> Thank you for reading as always, especially considering how long this chapter turned out to be <3.
> 
> We'll be looking forward to your comments and see you soon~


	24. crossroads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Italic_ speech is in Korean.

“OH MY GOD!!!” Jongin’s scream from the bedroom sends Sehun into mild panic mode. 

“Jong--” Sehun bursts into the room to find Jongin facedown on the bed, screaming into a pillow. 

“AHHHHHHHH MY GOD, OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL--” 

“Fuck.” Sehun turns and leaves as fast as he came, but now that he’s made his presence known, it’s pretty much over. 

“SEHUN, IT’S SO GOOD--” 

“I’m sure it is…” 

“Jjong’s voice iS sO BEAUTIFUL,” Jongin sobs, wiping fake tears off of both his cheeks. Or are they real tears? Sehun will never know. “Everything is so good, they sound so good, the album is so good--” both of his thumbs fly over his phone as if his life depends on it. “I’m gonna find the translated lyrics for the title track, it’s so pretty,” 

“Guess having a Korean boyfriend and Minseok-hyung tutor you didn’t do any good.” 

“Shut! My Korean is good, but this is Jjonglish.” Jongin’s entire body vibrates with his excitement. “Nobody is fluent in Jjonglish but SHINee--MY WHOLE HEART, SEHUN!”

“You good there?” 

“NOOOOO,” Jongin’s smile fills half of his face. “Jonghyun’s so CUTE, everyone’s saying they made the title track for international Shawols,” 

“I thought he--uhh--whatshisface was your favorite. Minty guy.” 

“Aaghh.” Jongin wraps his arms around the pillow and falls sideways onto the bed. “I’m bias wrecked. Fuck me,” 

“Will leave Kyungsoo to that.” Sehun turns around in hopes of leaving Jongin to fanboying alone, but to no avail. 

“Sehunnnnn, it’s so good.” 

“Uh huh.” 

“And it’s TWO ALBUMS! TWO FULL ALBUMS IN ONE MASSIVE GOD-TIER ALBUM, SEHUN.” 

“Three albums--”

“Two,” Jongin corrects immediately.

“Right.” Sehun says robotically, digging around for his phone in his pocket. 

“You don’t understand, it’s so--so--” Jongin’s fingers dig into the pillow, then release it to flap around in the air helplessly to encapsulate his excitement. “GAHHHHH--” 

_ “Is something wrong?” _

“Huh?” Sehun pulls the phone away from his ear in confusion. 

_ “Oh, shit.  _ Sorry. What is wrong?” Kyungsoo switches languages when he remembers Sehun doesn’t speak Korean. 

“I think your boyfriend might be broken, Kyungsoo.” 

“KYUNGSOO!” Jongin shrieks as soon as he hears Sehun. “IT’S SO GOOD, THE ALBUM IS SO GOOD, PLEASEEEEEE, MY HEART--” 

_ “Oh, nononono.”  _ Kyungsoo sighs, but there’s a smile in his voice. 

“He’s all yours,” Sehun tells Kyungsoo. 

“That is a big… burden.” Kyungsoo jokes to make Sehun cackle gleefully before he hands the phone to Jongin’s grabby hands.  _ “Hello, sweetheart.”  _

“Ksoo, the album is so beautiful, have you listened yet? It’s sooooo, ughhhh, I just, I love the concept so much. I love them, Ksoo, I really do,” Jongin can’t be stopped. “Gah, is there anything they CAN’T do? The RANGE? The FINESSE? The VOCALS, the VISUALS, the RAPPING. God, I have the BIGGEST crush on Choi Minho, PLEASE.” With Jongin distracted by his ~~6th~~ favorite person, Sehun makes his getaway. Jongin doesn’t even notice.

“Uh huh.” Kyungsoo drums his fingers on the new ‘The Misconceptions of Us’ album sitting on his desk, and patiently listens to Jongin commit infidelity. 

“...the BEST boy, and Jinki looks so CUTE, just ADORABLE. Ugh. Also--imma cry--Taemin is just PRETTY, so pretty. On GOD, I’m SIMPING for Taemin. How is he so fucking PRETTY? Nobody else even compares to him. OH! AND JONGHYUN, GUHHHHH, we haven’t even started in on JONGHYUN,” 

_ “Yes, I did enjoy Selene 6.23,”  _ Kyungsoo muses, because he nurses a soft spot for Jonghyun. 

“I KNEW YOU WOULD LIKE IT! Hyung, sing it for me sometime,” Jongin begs, excited to have someone to talk to. 

“I will.” 

“Bestest hyung.”

_ “Do you really mean that?”  _

“No. JONGHYUN BEST HYUNG,” Jongin sobs, and Kyungsoo chuckles, delighting in Jongin’s minor breakdown. 

_ “Why would you lead me on, love?”  _

“JONGHYUN! JONGHYUN! JONGHYUN!” 

_ “That’s not the name you’re supposed to be screaming.”  _

“JONGHYUN! JONGHYUN! JJONG--what’s your favorite song, hyungie?” 

_ “Playing cute,”  _ Kyungsoo accuses, but answers anyway.  _ “‘Selene 6.23’, ‘Beautiful’, ‘Excuse Me Miss’. In that order.”  _

“Well, it’s working, isn’t it?” Jongin’s feeling especially flippant today. Kyungsoo laughs disbelievingly. 

_ “You little brat. Are you talking back to hyung now?” _

“You have taste, hyung. _ ”  _ Jongin blatantly ignores Kyungsoo’s teasing to carry on the conversation about More Important Topics. “‘Beautiful’ is so cute. ‘Selene 6.23’ is so cute. ‘Excuse Me Miss’--uh, well, it’s not cute, but uh, it’s hot.” 

_ “You’re cute when you cum to it.”  _

“HYUNG! Don’t SAY those things so casually,” Jongin claps his hands to his burning cheeks. “I’m trying to have an intelligent conversation about intellectual topics.” 

_ “Well, I suppose you could write a master’s thesis on the mental and emotional benefits of walking sex on legs,”  _ Kyungsoo concedes, and Jongin gasps. 

“Who are you referring to? Walking sex on legs? Oh my God, that’s a HUGE compliment coming from you. Am I turning you into a Shawol, hyung? ARE YOU BECOMING SHAWOL? DOES YOUR BLOOD RUN PEARL AQUA? DO YOU FEEL THE FLAM--” 

_ “I think Jonghyun is good at what he does,”  _ Kyungsoo concedes, and his face splits into a smile when Jongin screeches excitedly. 

“YOU BIAS JONGHYUN! Oh my God, I should’ve known you had taste. Ughhh, isn’t he pretty? Isn’t he the bestest boy? The cutest thing, oh my God, what a voice, what a man,” 

_ “Yeah, yeah.”  _ Kyungsoo chuckles.  _ “Listen, baby, I have to get some work done now… I’m surprised you didn’t listen to the album earlier today.”  _

“Oh, I did, I listened when I woke up this morning, but I was preoccupied with practice and all that. So all my fanboying was bottled up until now.” Jongin flips over to stare at the ceiling happily. “Well, I talked about it at MDC with Ari and my other friends, but you can never fanboy too much over SHINee.”

_ “I see. Well, I hope you enjoy your new album.”  _

“I WILL, hyung. It’s soooo gorgeous and perfect. There’s such a huge range of songs, and I really love every single one of them. You can anticipate an improv cover soon!” 

_ “Ah, can I? I’ll look forward to that, then.”  _ Kyungsoo huffs out a small smile.  _ “Kay, Junmyeon-hyung is frantically texting me, so I’ll be off now.”  _

“Bye bye, hyungie.” Jongin coos. “Have fun.” 

“Love you, dear.” 

“Love you, too. Mwah.” Jongin smooches the air, and Kyungsoo’s eyes flick to the framed photo of them sitting on his desk. 

_ “Be back soon,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs. “Be good, okay? I text you, uh, later.” 

“Okayy,” Jongin singsongs. “Bye!” Jongin hangs up, then presses play on ‘Dream Girl’ and ramps the volume up. Halfway through the song, his phone pings with a new message from Kyungsoo. Puzzled, Jongin taps on the picture, then lets out his 132309th high-pitched shriek of the evening. 

“IS IT MINE?!” Jongin screams into the receiver when Kyungsoo picks up not 2 minutes after they just said their good-byes. 

_ “Of course. I can either mail it to you, or give it when I come--”  _

“HYUNG, I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH, OH MY GOD.” 

_ “Junmyeon will murder me,”  _ Kyungsoo mutters, trying to pack his backpack for the day and talk to Jongin at the same time. 

“--LITERALLY THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER, I’M GONNA CRY, I’M SO HAPPY, THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH--” 

_ “Oh, so now I’m the best.”  _

“Babe, I’m gonna KISS you.” Jongin’s pillow will burst into feathers if he squeezes it any harder. 

_ “Uh, yeah, you better.”  _

Baekhyun sits at his desk, tapping away at his laptop. Pages of thoughtful, painstakingly handwritten lyrics are strewn across his workplace for his latest track at the studio. This newest project is shaping up to be his best work yet. He’s in love with the proverbial essay in front of him, with all its quirky anecdotes and scribbled analyses in the margins of the paper, as well as his newest beat. Perhaps the best part about his job is that he gets to combine multiple ideas and talents to create a finished whole. Baekhyun loves watching everything coming together--the musical accompaniment, the way scrawled handwriting turns into a love story, the unstoppable broad smile that splits across his face when he listens to the song for the very first time. The fact that he gets to do this everyday with some of his closest friends is just an added bonus. 

Baekhyun can’t remember a time when he ever dreaded going to the studio, not even during the worst of creative droughts or when he just can’t find the right chords or synth for his latest track. There’s always a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, a cup of coffee pressed into his hand, and little giggles that turn into chortling laughter, which Baekhyun always joins ruefully. His studio; his workplace; his second home. There’s not another place that knows about those times when Baekhyun stayed late after hours, sprawled out sideways on the old leather couch in the dark, singing softly to himself, yearning for Chanyeol. And on the flip side, it also knows Baekhyun when he angrily brushes tears away from his eyes as fast they come, scribbling out lyrics to some never-to-be-released song that speaks of the frustrating parts in their relationship. Through heartache and heartbreak. Through awkward first attempts and flawless first takes. The studio is a part of Baekhyun, and there’s nothing quite as natural as integrating it into his life as his official workplace as soon as he finally walks out of university after six long years. Baekhyun can think of no other place that he’d like more to spend his days at. When his teachers told him to find his dream job, Baekhyun took it as a challenge. This one is beyond what he could have ever imagined.

So here he sits, casual at his desk for the weekend, working on things for Monday. Yeol is in the living room, busy with his ‘boring nerd things,’ as Baekhyun affectionately dubs his responsibilities. But boring also means reliable. Comforting. Familiar. Baekhyun loves him like a steady heartbeat; Chanyeol loves Baekhyun like he doesn’t know how to do anything else. Lost in his thoughts about his love life, Baekhyun bites back a small smile and writes down a few lyrics which are way too cheesy, far too romanticized, but the sentiment still holds. Baekhyun can work with it. The songs in which he imbues personal experiences always turn out to be the best. 

“Yeollie,” Baekhyun whispers to himself, as if his tall, handsome boyfriend isn’t 20 steps away from him and wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to kiss Baekhyun silly if he had heard the utterance. The sudden sound of Chanyeol’s cell phone ringtone startles Baekhyun out of his thoughts, and he jumps in his chair. 

“HOLY shit, that scared me,” Baekhyun says loud enough to be heard from the living room. Chanyeol chuckles before answering the call. Baekhyun, ever so curious, twirls his pen absentmindedly over his fingers and listens to Chanyeol’s deep voice rumbling out answers to whoever is on the other side of the line. 

“Hello. Yes.” There are a few moments of silence, then Chanyeol speaks up again. “Oh! I--uh--well, thank you very much. Yes. Yes.” Baekhyun slowly rises from his chair and walks out of his room into the living room. Chanyeol’s laptop is on the coffee table, and the younger is standing up with his back to Baekhyun. “Okay. Yes, thank you. That would be great.” There’s a long pause in which Chanyeol only hums his understanding, and Baekhyun tries to decide whether or not the call is unimportant, so that he can maybe go get himself a nice, long hug. As the call continues, there’s just not enough information to determine the stakes, so Baekhyun settles for leaning against the wall and watching Chanyeol’s motionless figure. His fiance is strong and cute and handsome. Baekhyun could wax poetic about him for days on end. If there’s one thing he’s good at doing, it’s finding the best in things. In Baekhyun’s humble opinion, Chanyeol’s best assets are his cooking, voice, and dick. All this runs through Baekhyun’s head in the time it takes for Chanyeol to finish his call, thank the other person about 5 more times, and hang up. He exhales a long sigh when he’s finished. 

“Yeollie,” Baekhyun calls him sweetly because he feels like being cutely petulant. Baekhyun’s kind of in the mood to be held, and kissed, and cuddled. He always gets like this whenever he comes out of a long spurt of concentration.

_ “Baekhyun, love of my life, come here.”  _ Chanyeol’s tone is indecipherable, which almost scares Baekhyun as he scampers towards the taller, because Chanyeol’s always been an open book. Chanyeol recognizes the whiny undertone in Baekhyun’s voice and indulges him for just a second, squeezing him tightly, dropping a kiss on the crown of Baekhyun’s head before gently directing him to sit on the couch.  _ “Sit.”  _ Baekhyun lets Chanyeol wrap both of his hands around Baekhyun’s left one, and looks up curiously. 

_ “Is something wrong? Who called?”  _

_ “That was my recruiter.” _

_ “So soon?” _ Baekhyun asks in surprise. 

“Yeah, I was surprised, too. It’s only been two days.” Chanyeol smiles and shrugs a little. Baekhyun gets the feeling that Chanyeol’s holding something back. 

“So…?” Baekhyun doesn’t actually ask the question, but Chanyeol gets it. They’ve always understood each other flawlessly. 

“I got the job.” A small jolt of surprise runs through Baekhyun. 

“Of course you did,” Baekhyun murmurs lowly, reaching up to kiss Chanyeol congratulations. “I’m proud of you.” And he is, but that doesn’t mean his mind isn’t racing to consider what this entails for the prospect of their future in Boston.

_ “The referral probably helped as well.”  _ Chanyeol struggles to contain his excitement, but his eyes give him away--they’re shining. He’s elated, and rightfully so. Getting through the interviews at such a highly esteemed company as Nvidia isn’t something to simply brush off. 

“My recruiter gave me all the details over the phone,” Chanyeol explains, reaching for his computer. “He said he emailed me with everything, too…  _ Aish, let’s see…”  _ Baekhyun leans closer to Chanyeol as he flicks through his email and pulls the contract up. The elder squints to make out the small font on the bright screen. Beside him, Chanyeol reads through the contract more thoroughly as well. Baekhyun finds it at almost the same time as Chanyeol; his breath catches in his throat. That’s… a lot of zeros. Not to mention the signing bonus and stock options look just as attractive. Baekhyun turns to Chanyeol to already see his fiance staring not at the screen, but steadily at him, waiting for Baekhyun to finish reading. For a long, long time, the two of them simply gaze at each other. They’re not waiting for words or actions; they know each other inside and out. There’s no need for any of that. Baekhyun looks straight into Chanyeol’s warm, calf-brown eyes, which peer back at him patiently. The zeroes on the page find their way into Baekhyun’s train of thought and slide themselves in between words and syllables, so that all Baekhyun can see is that exorbitant offer. He swallows hard. 

Of course he had thought about it before; what he would say if Chanyeol ended up getting the job. Baekhyun has replayed this very same scenario in his head at least a hundred times since they decided to fly out to California for the interview. He’s thought about how he would react, what he would say, what he would do. All of that goes flying out of the window now. It doesn’t matter what situation he’s simulated in the past. In the present, Baekhyun’s chest is twisting uncomfortably, and although Chanyeol’s gaze is understanding and full of love, it’s also guarded with something far more serious and contemplative. Baekhyun isn’t feeling very petulant anymore either. He scoots up the couch just a little, and folds his hands in his lap. 

_ “It’s a good offer.”  _ Chanyeol speaks first. Short and practical. Baekhyun can’t argue with that. He nods soundlessly. 

_ “Let’s just…”  _ Baekhyun motions between the two of them.  _ “Talk. Just talking. No...nothing else.”  _ Part of him wishes he could delay this conversation, maybe defer it to a later time when both of them have thought it through a bit more. Neither of them expected for the decision to come so quickly. But there’s a sense of urgency in the air, because Chanyeol needs to give a prompt answer. They need to be on the same page. 

_ “Yes. Okay.”  _ Chanyeol agrees, setting his laptop back on the coffee table, but still showing the contract in case they need to refer back to it. 

_ “You know what I’m going to say.”  _ Baekhyun can be serious and forward when he wants to be. Chanyeol nods slowly, understandingly, but Baekhyun decides to spell it out anyway.  _ “Whenever I imagine the future, I really… don’t see us anywhere else. I see us here, happy, finally together.”  _ Baekhyun presses his lips together tightly. “Chanyeol… we’ve spent almost six years apart, and I… I’m still here, having this conversation with you.” Chanyeol nods once. “I’m wearing your ring on my finger. I can’t stomach the thought of waking up and not having you in my life. I don’t think I’m going anywhere.”

_ “Okay.”  _ Chanyeol’s eyes are so, so soft because of Baekhyun’s heartfelt words.  _ “You know I feel the same.”  _

_ “Right. So…”  _ Baekhyun struggles to find the right words to encompass what he’s trying to say.  _ “There’s… not just… one practical option.”  _ Baekhyun swallows.  _ “Our plan was to stay here, and that was--still is--a perfectly viable, pragmatic vision.”  _

_ “Yes. Of course.”  _ Chanyeol nods.  _ “I know.”  _

_ “I’m not trying to sound selfish, or like I’m not happy for you--”  _

_ “Baekhyun, you don’t need to say these things.”  _ Chanyeol shakes his head just the tiniest bit. “I know.” 

“Sorry, I just--feel like I have to.” Baekhyun huffs. “It’s like I'm trying to justify to myself that I’m not being selfish. I’m definitely being selfish, aren’t I? If I have to justify that?” 

_ “No.”  _ Chanyeol refutes.  _ “You’re right. We have a plan A. It’s a solid plan, and we get to spend it together.”  _

_ “We stay together,”  _ Baekhyun states.

_ “Yes. That’s non-negotiable. That’s the whole reason why we’re talking, because it’s either here or there.”  _ Chanyeol’s tone also brokers no argument with this priority. “Baekhyun, my love, listen to me now.” 

“I’m listening.”

“I will not get another offer like this.” Chanyeol says quietly, but so sure of it. Baekhyun can’t really deny this either.  _ “I’m not saying that’s grounds to pack up everything and haul ass out of here, but there’s no way I will get anything close to this in Boston.” _

_ “I know,”  _ Baekhyun whispers, feeling very tumultuous. They’ve been over all of this before. These are all things they already know. 

_ “Baekhyun, other than wanting to be together, where do we want to be in five years?”  _ Chanyeol makes a big circle in the air with his hands. “Because I want to be able to support us. I want to be reliable, Baekhyun. For you, for myself, for our kids later on down the road.” Baekhyun, who had been sitting very still, startles a little at the mention of a future family. “This offer makes me feel like I can do that.” Chanyeol gestures vaguely in the direction of his laptop. “It makes me feel like I can be someone that you can depend on.” 

_ “You can get a decent offer here, too,”  _ Baekhyun points out; he doesn’t mean to be contradictory, but they have options in Boston as well. _ “We have everything we could want here. I just… I don’t want to leave home. Sehun and Kai are coming back soon. My family and yours--we’re all here, and that’s enough for me. They’re our support system for when we want to start our own family. I don’t need--I don’t need a big house, and all that stuff,”  _

_ “Baby, I know,”  _ Chanyeol nods, reaching out for Baekhyun’s hand. “That’s not exactly what I meant. Mmmm.” He runs a hand through his hair as he tries to sort out his thoughts. Baekhyun waits for him, letting the taller squeeze his hand gently before covering it with his own. “Let me backtrack just a little.” 

“Mmm.” 

“I would also be happy here.” Chanyeol states. “Like you said, we had a plan. It’s a viable option. And I want you to be happy. I know how much your studio means to you.” Baekhyun bites his lip and nods in affirmation. 

“I know you won’t find another offer like this one here, but I won’t ever have anywhere else like my studio either,” Baekhyun says quietly. “I don’t know.” Baekhyun heaves a long sigh. “But I feel like I’m holding you back, and I don’t want that.” 

_ “No,”  _ Chanyeol says automatically, shaking his head.  _ “I understand where you’re coming from, Baek. And it’s not like that at all, sweetheart.”  _ Baekhyun opens his mouth to speak, but Chanyeol keeps talking, and Baekhyun lets him. “I know that with this offer, I’m asking you to give up a huge part of your life,” Chanyeol murmurs lowly, still holding Baekhyun’s hand. “To be honest, I was also thinking that… maybe… I would just reject the offer right away if I got it. Because of you.” Chanyeol inhales deeply, and Baekhyun’s heart shatters in half at his fiance’s next words.  _ “As long as you’re happy, then I’m happy. Baekhyun, I just want to make you even happier. I won’t refute you if you really, truly want to stay, and you can give me a good reason. We can build our future here, like we talked about. That’s fine.”  _ Chanyeol’s hand gives Baekhyun’s a little squeeze.  _ “But just this one time, I want to try and convince you to change your mind. My stubborn little minx.”  _ The corners of Baekhyun’s lips twitch upwards.  _ “I’ll help you find a studio in LA. You know even better than I do about how opportune the music scene is over there. We’ll buy a small place after a short while. Nothing too fancy, if you don’t want that. LA is beautiful. You love Disneyland, and we can go as often as you want,”  _ Chanyeol offers. Baekhyun’s eyes sparkle a little at the mention of the amusement park, and Chanyeol nods encouragingly.  _ “And don’t forget about all the beach bars and parties in LA.”  _

_ “True…”  _ Baekhyun admits. 

_ “I’ll take care of you, Baek,”  _ Chanyeol promises.  _ “We won’t be alone over there. You know Jongdae will be thrilled. He’ll help us settle in, make LA feel more like home. He’s even offered to babysit already.”  _ This garners a shaky laugh from Baekhyun. _ “I’ll make it up to you, Baek, I promise. I know I’m asking too much of you, but I still want to ask.”  _ Chanyeol’s eyes are full of tender love and affection.  _ “There’s just so much opportunity in that contract. We would be years ahead of where we would be if we choose to stay here. And, very selfishly, it is my chance to literally help shape the future of graphics chips at the industry-leading manufacturer.”  _ Baekhyun bites the inside of his cheek, and his eyebrows furrow together as Chanyeol finishes speaking. He looks down at the upholstery of the couch, and his free hand picks at the hem of his t-shirt while Chanyeol rubs his thumb along the inside of Baekhyun’s wrist softly. 

Precious Chanyeol. Baekhyun’s throat feels a little tight when he swallows. He felt Chanyeol’s heart when he spoke those words, quiet but eager. Out of all those sentences, only one was about himself. Because nearly every thought running through Chanyeol’s mind was about Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun. Like with almost everything else Park Chanyeol has done for the past eight years, Baekhyun’s opinion carries the most weight. He makes the biggest difference. There’s definitely a lump in Baekhyun’s throat now, as he thinks about all the years that they’ve been together, even when they were apart. 

‘Will you stay with me, Baek?’ Chanyeol had asked on the last day to accept his offer from Columbia so many years ago. “I swear I won’t ever stop loving you, even if we’re apart. I’ll work hard for you, I’ll make it count. I promise.” And Baekhyun had stood there while Chanyeol wiped the tears off his cheeks, and nodded silently, watching Chanyeol conceal his happiness to gather Baekhyun in a tight hug. 

Five, almost six long years. Chanyeol loved Baekhyun so hard that there wasn’t a second where Baekhyun could have accused him of not doing so. Even when he himself was tired of not having Chanyeol by his side, tired of video calls and air kisses, tired of waiting; a surprise knock on the door, and a weary but familiar smile fixed him up every time. Chanyeol held onto him tightly while Baekhyun struggled to keep up his stony countenance, but as soon as he heard,  _ ‘please don’t’,  _ the elder always went limp. Because how could he ever hurt Chanyeol? He’s listened to Baekhyun infinite times, and yet, he still hangs onto every word. He’s seen Baekhyun during his worst times, and yet, he still tells Baekhyun that he looks beautiful every day. He knows Baekhyun’s imperfections: his stubbornness, his bad habits, his fiery personality. And yet, he still looks at Baekhyun like he’s the single most precious thing in this world. Chanyeol never asks anything of Baekhyun, not even when he knows he’s right. He lets Baekhyun wander, then waits with patient, open arms when Baekhyun goes flying back into them with tears in his eyes. The only things that Park Chanyeol has ever asked for are his education, and now, his--no, their--future. Something deep down in Baekhyun’s heart unlodges and floats slowly up to the surface for him to acknowledge. Regardless of what Chanyeol says, Baekhyun knows that his own dreams are rather selfish when pitted against the younger’s. He loves his studio, his music, and his colleagues. But he loves Chanyeol more. And Chanyeol--he could go so far without Baekhyun, even further than he is aiming for. But he doesn’t want that. Chanyeol’s choice is Baekhyun. His choice is the one with the brightest future that has both of them in it. And that future is displayed on Chanyeol’s laptop screen, clear and simple. It provides the financial certainty and stability that both of them were looking for. If they stay here, it would take them at least a few more years before finally becoming grounded. If Baekhyun believes otherwise, then all that time they spent apart will have been for nothing. It will have never amounted to what it could be. Baekhyun closes his eyes and nods slowly. One lone tear tracks down his cheek, and Chanyeol’s thumb immediately wipes it away gently. 

_ “You’re the love of my life,”  _ Chanyeol whispers, immediately scooting closer to Baekhyun and wrapping him in a hug. Baekhyun buries his face in Chanyeol’s black t-shirt, feels the comforting strength of him, and shudders as more tears fill his eyes. He wants this. It’s the pragmatic thing to do. Los Angeles will be new, opportune, and exciting. They’ll finally be starting a new chapter of their life together. But now, as Chanyeol’s hands run soothingly up and down Baekhyun’s back, the elder mourns the loss of what he had dreamt of for so many years. Waking up everyday next to Chanyeol, and humming songs on the way to his dream job. Lazy weekend dates spent at Faneuil Hall Marketplace, eating fresh lobster rolls. Walks along the harbor, where they had wanted to get married. His friends. His family. His dream. Baekhyun clings tightly to his fiance and grieves. 

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol whispers, wracked with guilt and self-loathing at seeing Baekhyun so torn up. “I’m so sorry, Baek. I love you. I’m sorry.” 

_ “Why did it have to be like this?” _ Baekhyun cries softly, and Chanyeol just holds him close. 

_ “I’m here, will always be. Here, Baek.”  _

_ “Hurts.”  _ Baekhyun’s heart aches.  _ “Hurts.”  _

_ “Baby,”  _ Chanyeol cradles Baekhyun’s head against his shoulder, and curses himself for causing the elder so much heartbreak.  _ “We don’t have to…”  _

_ “Don’t,”  _ Baekhyun chokes. “Don’t make me change my mind.” 

“I love you so, so much, Baek. I’ll make you so happy. I’ll take you everywhere, help you find a job you love. Anything you want,” Chanyeol promises, and he means every word. “You won’t ever have to worry, baby. You’ll be okay,” Chanyeol whispers into Baekhyun’s hair, letting him mourn for as long as he needs.  _ “You’ll be okay. I’ll take care of you.” _

_ “You know what? I don’t think you need to compare your experiment with the approaches of four existing platforms, three would be sufficient for what you want to show and this would save us an entire page right away.” _ Junmyeon sits in front of Kyungsoo’s laptop, rereading one of the sections of the younger’s thesis for the millionth time, desperately searching for possible deletions to lower the page count. Every character counts at this rate, and removing an entire page would be an absolute win.

Kyungsoo whines at this. _ “But they all use different approaches, and I don’t even know which one I should take out if I were to do that.” _ He’s sprawled across his bed, marking out unnecessary words on the hard copy of his abstract. Junmyeon tunes him out while Kyungsoo goes back to reading--or reciting, at this point--his abstract.  _ “…collaborative, simultaneous online-editing… applicability to web-based learning…” _

_ “Kyungsoo.”  _

_ “Fine. We’ll take out the comparison to MOOCs. I declared that teaching masses was not the target of my research in the introduction anyway. The details of why their platforms scale so well are probably less relevant for reference.” _

_ “Completely irrelevant,” _ Junmyeon corrects.

_ “No, you.”  _ Junmyeon ignores him in favor of continuing to dissect the related work chapter word by word. 

_ “Feel like these two sentences are almost reiterations of each other,”  _ Junmyeon mutters.  _ “Can’t believe I missed that 200 times--”  _ a notification pops up on the top right side of Kyungsoo’s laptop screen, and Junmyeon clicks on it almost subconsciously. Kyungsoo doesn’t even acknowledge the sudden halt in speech; he’s engrossed in his own deletions. 

_ “Hey, Kyungsoo.”  _

_ “Uhhh.”  _ Kyungsoo responds, but there’s nothing from Junmyeon. Kyungsoo glances up.  _ “What?”  _

_ “A special someone sent you an email.”  _

_ “Nini knows how to email someone?”  _ Kyungsoo blinks. 

_ “No, what? It’s not--wait, your boyfriend doesn’t know how email works?”  _

_ “Who emailed me?”  _ Kyungsoo ignores the question. 

_ “I already told you.”  _ Junmyeon is suppressing a smile, and Kyungsoo tears his brain cells away from the task at hand to rack his memory for anyone else that is important…

_ “Oh, shit, is it our lawyer?”  _ Kyungsoo scrambles to sit up so fast that he cuts his finger on the edge of the paper.  _ “Ow.”  _

_ “Yeah.”  _

_ “What did she say?”  _ Kyungsoo’s heart feels like it’s leapt up into his throat. 

_ “Kyungsoo, do you love me?”  _

_ “What? Just--what was the email about?”  _

_ “‘Cause just so you know, I love you lots. I mean, I would hope you already knew that, given that I’m actually following you to the other side of the world.”  _

_ “I--”  _ Kyungsoo starts scooting off the bed to go read the damn message himself, but Junmyeon shuts his laptop screen and pulls it to his chest protectively. Kyungsoo just gapes at Junmyeon.  _ “This is not funny.”  _ He glares at Junmyeon with his best death stare, the one Baekhyun got when Kyungsoo slapped him for getting Jongin drunk, but Junmyeon remains thoroughly unimpressed. 

_ “I just feel like I need to let you know how much you mean to me, Soo. We’ve been through so much together, and you’re basically my other half. Just look at us.”  _ Junmyeon motions to the scattered papers on Kyungsoo’s bed, and the remains of their lunch on the corner of his desk. 

_ “You are about to lose your other half.”  _

_ “Oh, real scary.”  _

_ “Kim Junmyeon, I’m serious. Tell me what that email said while I’m still being nice.”  _

_ “So now that you know, I think it’s only fair that you tell me how you feel about me. Would you go to the other side of the world for me, Soo?”  _ Junmyeon smirks infuriatingly while Kyungsoo becomes more anxious. 

“ _ JUNMYEON _ !” Kyungsoo barks. 

_ “Just tell me how much you love me.”  _

_ “Not much, at the moment.”  _ Kyungsoo’s heart is hammering.  _ “Junmyeon--”  _

_ “Really? After everything I would do for you? After I told you I’d follow you to the other side of the world?”  _ Junmyeon pouts, and Kyungsoo flops back onto his bed in exasperation.  _ “I feel really bad for you, honestly. If you don’t like me, then we’re in deep trouble. You’re kinda gonna have to put up with me a lot… soon… if you get my drift…”  _ Kyungsoo looks at him strangely, and Junmyeon puts on an expression of total innocence. 

_ “Are you serious?”  _

_ “Hmm… if you got the notification later than me, would that mean I’m following you to the other side of the world, or are YOU technically following ME--”  _

_ “I got it?”  _ Kyungsoo asks quietly, not daring to breathe until Junmyeon outright confirms it. 

“ _ Yes _ .” Junmyeon’s beaming smile finally breaks free as Kyungsoo lets out a shout of triumph and relief. 

_ “Oh my God,”  _ Kyungsoo clutches his chest and lets out a huge breath.  _ “Finally. Fucking finally.”  _

_ “Yes, finally,”  _ Junmyeon agrees, opening up the laptop again and beckoning Kyungsoo over.  _ “Hold on, maybe I read it too fast and you didn’t actually get it.”  _

_ “NO.”  _ Kyungsoo grips Junmyeon’s shoulder tightly with trembling hands as he reads the email himself.  _ “Okay. Okay.”  _ The words on the screen seem almost too good to be true, but there they are, clear as day.  _ “Oh my God, you have no idea--”  _ It’s as if a huge weight has been lifted from Kyungsoo’s shoulders, and he can finally stand a little more upright, breathe a bit easier.  _ “Thank God.”  _

_ “Says your processing will most likely not be done by October,”  _ Junmyeon reads.  _ “Probably because you got it so late, but--”  _

_ “Doesn’t matter,”  _ Kyungsoo says immediately.  _ “I’m just so glad I got it.”  _

_ “I know. Yeah, we were lucky.”  _ Junmyeon turns a little in his chair and holds his arms out. Kyungsoo returns the hug tightly.  _ “We’re actually going.”  _

_ “Yes. Finally.”  _ Kyungsoo’s entire body is still shaking a little from relief.  _ “I… I need to tell Nini,”  _ he murmurs. A smile creeps onto his face at just the thought.  _ “Gotta call him.”  _

_ “Yeah, yeah, just tell me to leave.”  _ Junmyeon backs away.

_ “Leave.”  _

_ “Woah, I didn’t mean it literally.”  _ Junmyeon pretends to be hurt. 

_ “Leave, please.”  _ Kyungsoo pats Junmyeon on the back affectionately, and Junmyeon shuts the door behind him. Kyungsoo’s heart quickens as he waits for Jongin to pick up. 

“Hyungie,” Jongin’s happy trill comes in through the speaker. “Whatcha doing? You didn’t respond to my texts, so I thought you were busy. I’m about to go to bed, what’s up?” 

_ “Nini,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs. Normally, he would probably try and trick Jongin into being sad for a little while, but he’s too excited to share the good news.  _ “Nini, I’m coming back.”  _

“Huh? Huh?” Jongin asks, slightly confused. Then he gasps. “YOU GOT IT?!” 

_ “Yes, yes, I got it,”  _ Kyungsoo practically shouts, and winces at Jongin’s excited screaming, but laughs nonetheless. 

“Holy fuck,” comes Sehun’s disgruntled voice from further in the background, and Jongin’s voice sounds a little hitched, as if he’s jumping up and down for joy. “Congrats, Soo!” 

“Thank you,” Kyungsoo laughs. 

“AHHHHHH!” 

“Yes, I know,” Kyungsoo’s smile is uncontainable. 

“AHHHHHH!” 

“I know, I know.  _ I’m so relieved,”  _ Kyungsoo shares, laughing a little while Jongin continues to scream.  _ “Just got the email and called you right away, I was hoping you wouldn’t be sleeping. Junmyeon was SUCH an asshole when he was telling me th--” _

“AHHHHHH!” 

“Jong, you’ll wake everyone up if you keep screaming.” 

“HHHHHHH!” 

“Jong--” 

_ “Nini--”  _

“AHHHHHH!” Jongin’s excitement is paramount, and Kyungsoo laughs giddily. “Hyung, this is better than winning SYTYCD,” Jongin shares, which thoroughly amuses Kyungsoo. “They could kick me off the show next week, I wouldn’t give a fuck anymore.” 

_ “Knock on wood, dear. You’ll regret saying that.”  _

“I’m so happy. Oh my God, I’m literally soooooo--” Jongin inhales deeply. “So, so, so, relieved. When are you coming? End of the summer? Three weeks? Two days? Tomorrow? Please let it be tomorrow.” 

_ “Would be nice,”  _ Kyungsoo smiles.  _ “No, maybe November. Sometime late in the year, probably because I got the email later than most people. Junmyeon-hyung will be there before me.”  _

“November? That’s okay, that’s fine.” Jongin paces back and forth across the living room excitedly, as if he wasn’t just crying about not seeing Kyungsoo for six months a few days ago. 

_ “I’m sorry it can’t be earlier. I know I said I wanted to go with you on tour and everything, but it can’t be helped--”  _

“No, no, it’s fine, babe. Anything is fine. November is totally fine. Just as long as you’re definitely coming,” Jongin coos. 

_ “I’m definitely coming back,”  _ Kyungsoo says, not quite believing it himself. It’s official, it’s settled. He’s going to see Jongin again. Their apartment, their dates, their cuddles--all of that has just been solidified. Now, he can dream  _ and _ look forward to holding Jongin in his arms. Kyungsoo’s heart soars while Jongin makes happy little noises into the speaker. 

“I’m not gonna be able to sleep tonight because I’m so excited,” Jongin giggles. “Holy shit, I was so tired until you called me. Hyung, call me in the morning and tell me again, okay? This is better than coffee.” 

_ “Okay. I actually will,”  _ Kyungsoo chuckles.  _ “Can’t say it often enough.”  _

“You’re coming back.” 

_ “I’m coming back.”  _

“For sure.” 

_ “Yep.”  _

“Did you read the email right?” Jongin demands. “Like, are you one HUNDRED percent sure you’re coming? This year?” 

_ “Yes, yes, I’m positive. I can’t stop looking at it,”  _ Kyungsoo reassures his boyfriend.  _ “I’m coming back to you.”  _

“What are you making?” Jongdae asks when he walks out of the bedroom, sporting shower-damp hair and no shirt. He wraps his hands around Seojun’s waist and nuzzles his head into the crook of her neck. Seojun turns her head slightly towards him, and Jongdae drops a kiss on her cheek. “Cookies?” he asks hopefully. Seojun nods, then laughs as Jongdae’s arms tighten around her. “You’re the best.” 

“Me, or my cookies?” Seojun teases.

“Tough call.” Jongdae reaches from behind his girlfriend to steal a pinch of cookie dough from the metal bowl. 

“You’re not supposed to eat raw cookie dough,” Seojun chides. 

“I’ll take my chances.” 

“Of course you will.” She sighs, but it’s more affectionate than anything. Jongdae is about to reply when his phone buzzes in his pocket. 

“I swear, if someone broke the build again, it’s not only the build bot that’s seeing red,” Jongdae grumbles, but digs his phone out of his pocket. “Oh, never mind. Thank God.” 

“Who is it?” 

“Nobody important.” 

PCY 

I signed the contract 

“Oh!” Jongdae yelps. 

“What?” 

“Chanyeollie already signed the contract!” Jongdae’s initial surprise is quickly replaced by excitement. 

PCY 

YOU DID?????

YOU GOT IT????

How else am I supposed to sign the contract? 

Pick up

“Congratulations!” Jongdae cheers into the speaker, and Chanyeol chuckles. 

“Thank you, Dae.” 

“I knew you were gonna get it,” Jongdae praises. “So? How do you feel? When are you starting? Moving?” 

“Starting on the 23rd of September,” Chanyeol murmurs. 

“Oh, that’s--” 

“Yes, yes, close to your birthday, happy birthday. I’m not getting you a present this year.” 

“That’s fine. You’re my present.” 

“Exactly,” Chanyeol affirms. “We still have to figure out the details, but I’ll let you know about our plans. There’s a lot to do.” 

“Gotcha. That’s awesome, Yeollie,” Jongdae coos. “I’m so happy for you!” 

“You’re just happy because of the referral bonus,” Chanyeol accuses. 

“Kind of.” Jongdae laughs. “Hey, how’s Baek doing?” 

“Not… I don’t know.” Chanyeol’s tone drops off into something much more serious. “He hasn’t said much.” 

“Oh, shit. He’s not happy about it?” Jongdae’s eyebrows fly up in concern. 

“I don’t know.” Chanyeol sounds frustrated, maybe even a little frightened. “We talked it over, and he agreed to move, but you know him. He has his studio. He wanted to stay.” 

“Ah.” Jongdae’s mouth twists in thought. “Is he mad at you?” 

_ “I. Don’t. Know.”  _ Chanyeol exhales loudly.  _ “I just wanted to let you know that I signed with them.”  _

_ “I’m sorry, Chanyeol.”  _ Jongdae really is sympathetic. Chanyeol’s just landed his dream job, and he’s supposed to be over the moon about it. But Jongdae knows that Chanyeol’s happiness also depends on Baekhyun. “I hope you figure it out with him.  _ Comfort him.”  _

_ “I know.”  _ Chanyeol’s voice is soft.  _ “I will. Ah, speak of the devil. Baekkie, come here.”  _ There’s some rustling, and then Chanyeol sighs. “Anyway, Dae, I’ll talk to you later, okay?” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I gotchu. Congratulations again.” 

“Thank you.” Chanyeol hangs up.

“Kai?” Jongin glances up from his phone for just a second to see who the speaker is, then flinches hard. He promptly sits up properly in his seat and stows his phone away in his pocket. “Could I speak to you for one moment, please?” 

“Yeah! Yeah.” Jongin stands up immediately, half nervous, half confused. After all, it’s not everyday that Ann Marie Hudson, the CEO of Millennium Dance Complex, comes looking for you after class. Jongin has seen her around, of course--she walks in on dance practices sometimes, and Jongin has exchanged a few words with her once or twice in the hallways, but that’s about it. Now, he follows Ann down the familiar row of dance studios, up a set of stairs at the end of the hall, and into the more administrative part of the building. Jongin’s really only been up here twice--once because he got lost, and the other time because Makenzie was curious.

“Have a seat,” Ann offers once they reach her office, shutting the door behind both of them. Jongin really hopes he doesn’t smell as he cautiously perches on the edge of an upholstered chair. He looks around the office quickly. The only auspicious decor is the impressive line of famous dance tour posters lining one side of the wall, as well as photos of Ann posing with superstar after superstar. Everything else is minimalist and quite aesthetic. Jongin looks back at Ann, who smiles warmly at him. It takes the edge off of Jongin’s anxiety. 

“How have you been, Kai?” Ann asks. Jongin crosses and uncrosses his ankles. 

“I’ve been pretty good,” Jongin hedges shyly. He’s still wondering why he’s even sitting here. “How are you today?” 

“I’m good, thank you for asking.” Ann leans forward and speaks earnestly. “I’ll get straight to the point, Kai. We--and by we, I mean the instructors and I--always watch the progress of every dancer that wants to further their career here at MDC. I’m sure you know that we get a lot of SYTYCD dancers each season, as well as from other shows in the area.” 

“That’s understandable,” Jongin murmurs, nodding in agreement. 

“You’re a beautiful dancer, Kai. All the teachers and older dancers speak highly of you. You’ve improved by leaps and bounds. It seems as if you’re a completely different dancer now than you were at the beginning of this summer, when you first came to us. And you have proved this yourself, too, by earning yourself a spot in the Top 10 of SYTYCD.” Ann offers him another one of her bright smiles. “First of all, I would like to say ‘good work.’” 

“Thank you,” Jongin’s tone is hushed, in awe that he would get such recognition from Ann. “Thank you so much. Yeah. I--uh--” Jongin stammers a little, and Ann waits for him to get his breath back. “I-I’ve really, really enjoyed my summer here. I feel like I’ve learned so much. It’s just such an amazing environment, totally different from what I had back home… just… yeah. I’m really honored to have the opportunity to dance here.” Jongin says honestly. 

“That’s really great to hear, Kai. I’m so glad that you feel the same about MDC as we feel about you. Which brings me to my next point…” Ann slides a few sheets of paper, neatly stapled together, across to Jongin. “We really think that your dancing and character reflects very strongly on the community here. This,” Ann taps her index finger on the papers, “is a contract for a position as part of our faculty. We would love for you to join the MDC family, Kai.” 

“What.” Jongin blurts out intelligently. Ann chuckles. 

“I’ve had quite a few people tell me that you’re humble.” 

“This… me?” Kai points to himself. Ann nods, and points to him. 

“You. Kai Roberts. Yes.” 

“Oh, my God.” Jongin’s brain goes into overdrive to process what he was just offered. Position? Faculty? At MDC? So… “Like… a teacher?” 

“Yes. Usually our newer faculty co-teach or assist other classes. Think of it as training. But eventually, you would teach your own classes.” Ann nods. 

“Oh.” Jongin tentatively reaches out and takes the sheaf of stapled papers. He flips through the pages slowly, just skimming through the content. Then he remembers his manners. “I’m sorry. You surprised me.” Jongin laughs nervously. “I just… I never would have expected this.” 

“Take your time,” Ann chuckles. “Like I said, I’ve gotten amazing testimonies about you, and I’ve watched you dance at practices as well as on the show. You live up to every expectation, and shatter them on top of that. I’m giving you this opportunity because of the reputation you have amassed to your name by getting to the Top 10 and going on the SYTYCD tour, as well as your hard work. I know that you’ll only get better, Kai, and this position will also help you further your career if you choose to do so. MDC is at your disposal.” Ann spreads her hands. “We have a huge community of dancers that goes far beyond these four walls.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I know. It’s really amazing.” Jongin runs his thumb along the edge of the papers, then looks back up at Ann. “Thank you so much for this, seriously. I’m really, really honored.” 

“Of course. It’s no problem at all. We would love to have you join our faculty.” And Jongin would absolutely love to join as well. For one bright, dazzling moment, he sees himself in front of those wall-length mirrors, explaining choreography to rows and rows of ambitious young dancers against a red wall backdrop. Then Jongin bites his lip. 

“This is amazing,” Jongin murmurs, holding onto the contract tightly, “but I’m not sure if I can accommodate it. I still have two years of university left,” Jongin explains to Ann. “I was planning to go back home at the end of the summer. Actually, I’m already experiencing some schedule conflicts because of the SYTYCD Top Ten tour this fall, so I have to sort through that.” 

“I understand.” Ann gives him a rather maternal smile. “You’re so young, but already so good at what you do.” 

“Thank you.” Jongin glances down at the contract again, reluctant to part with it. Not when it’s basically the opportunity of a lifetime, not when it’s everything that he could have imagined and more. 

“It’s not an urgent position that needs to be filled,” Ann is saying, “and if you find a way to make it work, the offer still stands for you. Take the contract, look over it. Let me know if you need anything from me.” 

“Okay.” Jongin nods at this. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll try.” But he knows that there’s no possible way he can accept. Boston is on the other side of the country, and he’s still got two years left before he can move. He’s grasping at thin air here. Still, he holds onto the sheaf of papers, and shakes Ann’s hand firmly. “I’ll let you know.” 

“Take your time, Kai. Thank you. Have a good rest of your day, okay?” 

“I will. You, too.” Jongin bows slightly on his way out, then sighs heavily as he thumbs through the contract once more. He’s too lost in his thoughts, and too busy reading the pages to even notice until he bumps into a firm, but warm body. 

“Oh! Sorry, my bad--” Jongin startles as a hand wraps around his waist and he’s pulled closer to the other person. 

“No need to apologize,” Eric coos, and Jongin blushes on instinct. Apparently the knowledge that Jongin is taken doesn’t detract Eric at all from his flirtatious personality. “You should bump into me more often, if I get to talk to you like this.” 

“I--uh--just looking at--this, didn’t--see where I was going,” Jongin mumbles lamely, avoiding all eye contact. Thankfully, Eric releases him, and Jongin stumbles two steps back. Eric just eyes him with fond affection. 

“Whatcha looking at, cutie? Not me, apparently.” Eric sighs dramatically. “Shame.” 

“Uh,” Jongin stops short. Eric’s been at MDC for longer than he has, and he doesn’t want to make it seem like he’s bragging… 

“Oh, she called you today? Hm. Ann’s always so quick about these things.” 

“Huh?” Jongin’s pretty sure he hasn’t said a single fully parsed sentence since Eric started flirting with him.

“You got the offer, right?” 

“Yeah… How did you know?” 

“How could I not know?” Eric smirks at Jongin. “Heard the cute boy who was supposed to be a summer fling might turn out to be a permanent resident. Which means I get to see this precious face everyday…” 

“I--” the said precious face is flaming hot and bright red. “I don’t think I can accept.” 

“Why not?” 

“I have school,” Jongin murmurs. “And the tour is already messing with that. I don’t know what I’m going to do… might do online classes for the first semester…” 

“Cute, talented, AND smart.” Eric praises. Is it just Jongin, or does he get more bold with every passing minute? “Well, I guess it also partially depends on what you want to do.” He begins walking towards the stairs, and Jongin follows to keep up the conversation. 

“I really want to accept,” Jongin admits. “This is basically like… my dream job. It’s everything to me.” 

“To hell with school, then. Your career is right here, dude.” 

“My mother would kill me,” Jongin says flatly. Then he thinks of Kyungsoo. “And my boyfriend.” He makes a point to emphasize ‘boyfriend’ just a little more than the rest of his words, but Eric doesn’t even seem to notice. 

“Hmm… would she let you transfer schools?” 

“Huh?” 

“You could just transfer to a university here. UCLA, for instance. Awesome liberal arts program. It’s the second-best public university in the US. Chanhee really likes it there. What are you majoring in right now?” 

“Uh… undecided…” Jongin mumbles. 

“Yeah, so you could do whatever.” 

“But… it’s way too late to transfer now. The semester is starting in a little over a month,” Jongin remains skeptical. “Also I don’t know… I really thought that LA was like… well, I actually didn’t expect to spend my entire summer here. I thought I’d only be here for a few weeks.” 

“Couldn’t get enough of me?” 

“I--” 

“Don’t worry, the feeling’s mutual.” Eric huffs out something between a chuckle and a smirk, then motions to the door. “I’m done for the day, you?” 

“Yeah, I’m done.” 

“I’ll walk you home.” 

“You don’t have to do that,” Jongin protests. “It’s still light out.” 

“C’mon, cutie. Just a walk.” 

“I--” Jongin looks helplessly to Eric, who shoves his hands in his pockets and waits casually until Jongin starts walking beside him again. “Ihaveaboyfriend,” Jongin mutters under his breath. A boyfriend who’s definitely coming back. Jongin still can’t quite bring himself to take that for granted. 

“I know.” Eric replies nonchalantly, and Jongin flinches embarrassedly. “No worries. You’re just too cute for your own good.” 

“Oh…” 

“But anyway, back to the topic. I’m sure if you asked Ann to write you a letter of recommendation or whatever the hell you need to get all that figured out, she would vouch for you. SYTYCD, too.” 

“Yeah… I guess.” Jongin bites the inside of his cheek frustratedly. “The problem isn’t even the job offer. I still haven’t figured out how I’m gonna balance school and tour. There’s just no freaking way I’m going to be able to make that happen. Ugh,” Jongin stops in his tracks, and Eric turns to look at him. “I don’t know. I don’t know what the better option is.” 

“Hey, hey, don’t stress.” Eric reaches out, but stops right before he actually touches Jongin, and when he doesn’t resist, Eric ruffles Jongin’s hair lightly. “It’ll be fine. The question isn’t, ‘which is better’. It’s ‘which option do you like more?’”

“This one.” Jongin answers instantly, holding up the contract. “Who wouldn’t like this one better than sitting in class all day?” 

“Well, if there’s eye candy in the class...” Eric resumes walking again. “Then you just have to figure out a way to prioritize that one and if you can’t, you know, drop the other option.”

“I guess.” Both of them are silent for a while, but it’s comfortable. Jongin actually really likes Eric. He’s dependable and always kind to Jongin, and Jongin enjoys having him around. 

“Take a gap year.” Eric speaks suddenly. “It’s not too late to declare one, right?” 

“... I don’t think so.” 

“Take a gap year and focus on touring and settling in. Then apply to transfer in November or whenever the hell those applications are. With your accolades and letters of recommendation, UCLA will be on their knees for you. Actually, I’d be willing to get--” 

“Gahhh, okay, okay.” Jongin buries his face in his hands, and Eric bursts into flippant laughter. “I see why you and Sehun get along,” Jongin tells his palms, and Eric takes full offense to this. 

“We do not get along.” 

“Sure.” It’s the one piece of leverage Jongin has over Eric, and he smiles wryly. “I think you guys get along.” 

“Cutie, you thought wrong. And you look downright adorable being wrong.” K.O. Jongin is back to being speechless and embarrassed. “Okay, but what do you say about that game plan? I think it’s perfectly plausible.” 

“It’s kind of a hassle,” Jongin sighs. 

“Yeah, it is. And it would be so badass if you could just drop out, but I presume that’s not an option.”

“Definitely not.”

“Shame.”

“I guess it could work,” Jongin says slowly, thinking it through in his head. “I could get the show to vouch for me if there are any problems trying to apply for a gap year.” 

“Yeah, for sure, dude. They’ll support you with whatever you need to bring them profit. So will MDC.” 

“Holy shit.” Jongin runs a hand through his hair in shock. “Holy shit, this might actually work out.” 

“Hell yeah, dude. You just gotta find a way. Geez, look at you.” Eric watches fondly while Jongin beams ridiculously wide and tries to conceal his excited giggles behind the back of his hand. “You’re just so cute.” Jongin’s too excited to even blush. 

“Eric, thank you so much. This is actually so amazing.” Jongin bounces up and down on the balls of his feet. “I can’t believe this is happening. It feels too good to be true. Oh my God, Eric, pinch me.” 

“Can I kiss you instead?” 

“Er… no.” 

“Aww.” 

“But I guess you get a hug.” Jongin throws his arms around Eric’s waist and squeezes tightly. “Thank youuuuu, thank you thank you thank you.” 

“‘Course. Anything to see your pretty face everyday,” Eric croons. He gives really good hugs. This one kind of reminds him of Chanyeol’s hugs; it’s all warm and comforting despite the forwardness of Eric’s personality. Jongin has a soft spot for good huggers. “Let me know how it works out, cutie pie.” 

“I will. But I suppose you’ll find out even if I don’t.” Jongin starts being cheeky. 

“Oh, of course.” Eric smirks. “But I’d rather hear it straight from you.” 

“We’ll see,” Jongin promises. They turn the corner, and arrive at Jongin and Sehun’s shared condo. “Thanks for walking me home, and for brainstorming.” 

“Anytime.” Eric holds his hand out for a high-five. Jongin half-expects it, but he still gasps and blushes hard when Eric pulls him in and hums delightedly. “Cutie.” He taps Jongin on the nose, making him blink, then steps away. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” 

“Did… you want to talk to Sehun about… whatever you guys wanna do tonight?” Jongin asks. 

“Nah, I’m good for tonight.” Eric waves, then adds as an afterthought, “shame it’s not you.” His teasing laugh follows Jongin all the way into the condo. 

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin calls his boyfriend after a shower and dinner. Sehun is out of the house for now, but that’s rather unsurprising. “Hyung.” 

“Good morning,” Kyungsoo murmurs in English. 

“How’d you sleep?” Jongin inquires over the rustling of sheets. 

“So good.” Kyungsoo chuckles sleepily.  _ “Better than I have for weeks.”  _

“Why?” Jongin inquires innocently. 

_ “Don’t know… might have something to do with the fact that I dreamt about you.”  _

“Ah.” Jongin cracks a smile. “What was I doing?” 

_ “You really want to know?”  _ The suggestive tone in Kyungsoo’s voice makes Jongin stutter, then laugh. 

“Wait, wait. Tell me after.” 

_ “After what?”  _

“I have something to tell you as well.” Jongin says mysteriously, which piques Kyungsoo’s curiosity. 

_ “What’s up?”  _

“I got a job offer.” 

_ “You--”  _ Kyungsoo goes silent for a second.  _ “You got a job offer?”  _

“Guess, guess, guess.” Jongin paces back and forth in the living room excitedly. 

_ “Must be something you like, since you always get offers,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs. 

“You’re so smart, babe.” 

_ “I know.”  _ Kyungsoo smiles sleepily and rolls over in the sheets. Despite his busy schedule, and the omnipresent responsibility of his thesis work, he’s feeling relaxed and lazy for the time being.  _ “Something about dance?”  _ Kyungsoo guesses. 

“MDC offered me a contract to join their faculty,” Jongin reveals it in one breath, and Kyungsoo can hear the smile in Jongin’s voice even through the speaker. “Can you believe it? I’ve only been here for a little over two months, but Ann called me up to her office today, and I was so scared, Soo. I had no idea what was happening. Then she started talking about my improvement, and then she handed me a contract!” Jongin’s story rushes out of him like flowing water, and Kyungsoo actually has to strain to keep up the mental translation. “She said I would probably start out assisting classes, but then I can teach my own. Hyung, it’s literally exactly what I’ve always wanted. I get to choreograph, I get to dance at MDC. You don’t even know how excited--” 

_ “You talk too fast,”  _ Kyungsoo says imploringly, and Jongin bursts into giddy laughter.  _ “So you got offered a faculty position?”  _

“Yes, and--” 

_ “One thing at a time, love, I’m still trying to wake up.”  _ Kyungsoo scratches his head, and his eyebrows knit together at the big flaw in this plan.  _ “Wait, how are you going to make this work? What about school?”  _

“Who cares about school,” Jongin mutters under his breath. 

“Uh uh,” Kyungsoo starts with his warning tone.  _ “Don’t start that with me.”  _

“Yes, mom.” 

_ “Bet Marie said the same thing,”  _ Kyungsoo dismisses Jongin’s teasing easily. 

“Yeah, she did. But hyungggg--” 

_ “Niniiiii,”  _ Kyungsoo imitates. 

“Just kidding. I can make school work,” Jongin shares eagerly. “I’ll just take a gap year this year, then apply to transfer to UCLA in the fall. I was looking at the university’s registrar earlier today; they offer so many majors that I can’t go for at the moment. I could get a B.A in Dance, and I can even apply for class credits with my time on SYTYCD. Plus if I transfer the credits that I already have, I fulfill all their general education requirements. The program is really flexible, so I can keep pursuing all kinds of offers if, you know, they pop up. It’s totally plausible, Soo.” 

“UCLA?” Kyungsoo hums.  _ “Yeah. I suppose. It’s a good liberal arts school.”  _

“It’s one of the best in the country, actually. It’s all fitting in place. I can’t wait. Oh my God, it’s been such a good past few days.” Jongin sighs happily. “You’re coming back, and I get to stay at MDC, and no school for a whole year…” 

_ “That’s just the problem,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs. 

“What?” 

_ “What about me?”  _ Kyungsoo asks. His chest feels a little tight, and he sits up in bed so that he can think with a clearer head.  _ “What about us?”  _

“What do you mean?” Jongin sounds genuinely confused, which reassures Kyungsoo just a little. 

_ “Should I say it outright, or do you want to think over your plan again?”  _ Kyungsoo asks gently.  _ “Nini, I’m not moving to LA at the end of this year.”  _

“But you could--” The realization dawns on Jongin then, and he inhales sharply. “You can’t.” 

“I can’t,” Kyungsoo agrees. 

“Your company and office space is in Boston.” Jongin states, and Kyungsoo nods absently to himself. There’s a long period of silence, then Jongin speaks again. “I’m sorry. I totally forgot.” 

_ “I know.”  _ Kyungsoo huffs out a breath.  _ “I’m not mad, baby, I’m just reminding you.”  _

“Yeah… yeah. Damn.” Jongin bites the inside of his cheek. “Soo…” 

_ “Yes, love.”  _

“Don’t be mad?” Jongin asks in a small voice, and Kyungsoo starts feeling soft. 

_ “I’m never really mad at you.”  _

“Kay.” Jongin sighs. “I still really want to take the offer.” And while Kyungsoo isn’t surprised, he’s also not immediately fond of the idea. 

_ “I think we’re going to have to talk about this.”  _ Kyungsoo sets his phone to speaker when Jongin murmurs likewise, and gets out of bed to start getting dressed. 

“I just…” Jongin struggles with his words. “I really, really want this.” 

_ “I know.”  _

“It’s like… ugh.” Jongin sighs. “I just don’t want to have come this far, only to go back to where I started. Now that I’m here, I want to do more. Even if I don’t win SYTYCD or whatever. I just want to stay here and keep working on my career.” 

_ “Yes, and that’s perfectly understandable.”  _ Kyungsoo nods, because he really does empathize to an extent.  _ “I didn’t want to be stuck in Korea when I’ve made this much progress with Jikdo.”  _

“Exactly.” Jongin sounds relieved that Kyungsoo gets it. “And this offer is so good, Soo. I’ve never been so excited about something. Not even with SYTYCD.” 

_ “With your show, you were a little scared, I think,”  _ Kyungsoo considers.  _ “You just weren’t sure of yourself.”  _

“Yeah. The feeling was different. But it’s not like that now. I want this so badly, Kyungsoo. It’s not that I don’t miss you, or I don’t want to see you.” Even as he says it, Jongin knows that he doesn’t even need to justify himself. Kyungsoo knows all this. “Soo?” 

_ “I’m still here.”  _

“What would happen to us?” Jongin bites his lip. “If I took the offer?” Kyungsoo remains silent for a long, long time. 

_ “I don’t know.”  _ Kyungsoo finally speaks, and Jongin wrinkles his nose at the immediate sting of tears.  _ “The thing is, this time around, it wouldn’t be a temporary long distance relationship anymore. And you’ve been doing so well without me around, sweetheart, but I know that you wouldn’t like it very much if we were apart… semi-permanently. You need someone who can be with--”  _

“No, I don’t,” Jongin whispers, and Kyungsoo stops short. “Don’t say that. I don’t need ‘someone’. I need you.” 

“Okay.” Kyungsoo acquiesces. “Okay.” 

“I need you, and I want you, and I miss you. Every single day.” Jongin’s voice wavers a little, but the intention behind his words is rock solid. “I have a fucking countdown on my phone until you’re back.” 

_ “I don’t even know the exact date of when I’m coming back.”  _ Kyungsoo’s lips twitch. 

“Minor detail.” Jongin’s voice drops low. “I really want to be back together.” 

_ “Same, love.”  _

“I don’t know, then.” Jongin reaches forward and picks up the contract lying on the table. “Is it even worth it?” Jongin murmurs so quietly he’s not even sure if Kyungsoo heard. He rifles through the pages, skimming the text for what seems like the hundredth time that day. The contract means more hot, sunny days, more dancing in spacious, red-walled studios, more of everything that Jongin loves about Los Angeles. But it also means no Kyungsoo. No late night, sleepy conversations cuddling in bed. No kisses given or received. No getting to return home to the one person that Jongin loves the most. The thought of it is so devastating that Jongin sets the contract down on the couch beside him. What’s the point when he doesn’t get to share his happiness with Kyungsoo? Even as he had received the offer, his first thought had been his boyfriend. Getting to show Kyungsoo around. Searching for an apartment together. Going to more beach bonfires. But none of that can happen. Jongin swallows hard. 

“Kyungsoo?” 

_ “Yes.”  _

“What’s your dream?” 

_ “My dream?”  _ Kyungsoo considers this. What does he want? The answer comes to him almost immediately.  _ “I want Jikdo to be successful.”  _ Kyungsoo hums. _ “At first, I just wanted to start my own company. But then I realized that was easy. Or, well, maybe it’s not easy, but it’s broad. Anyone can start their own company or business.”  _ Kyungsoo sighs.  _ “But how many of those end up being successful? I don’t want Jikdo to just be some… eventually discarded project. Jikdo is the manifestation of my beliefs and my dreams.”  _ Kyungsoo pauses for a moment when Jongin makes a confused noise. Perhaps he spoke a bit too rapidly.  _ “On the other hand,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs,  _ “you’re also part of my dream. I want to be with you.”  _

“But what if they contradict each other?” Jongin asks helplessly. “Because I think I know what I want in life now.” 

_ “What do you want?”  _

“Wanna dance.” Jongin’s dream is simple, yet at the same time, it’s everything. “Want to dance; to perform; to keep recreating myself over and over. It’s a part of me.” The truth of that statement is so strong that it makes Jongin’s heart clench. Dancing is what liberates him. It’s how he expresses himself, freely, artistically, beautifully. Jongin’s creative work is tied to his identity; it’s synonymous with Kai. Kai is strong and powerful and unwavering. He never steps off of a stage until he finishes the show and takes a bow. And as for Jongin… “The show isn’t over yet.”

_ “What?”  _ Kyungsoo questions. 

“Just talking to myself like an idiot.” Jongin laughs shortly at himself. “Soo, I--” He stops himself from saying it out loud; the words seem so formidable on the tip of his tongue. 

_ “Go ahead.”  _

“Okay.” Jongin takes a deep breath. “I just… can’t get one thought out of my head. If I decide to turn this offer down, it would be like walking away from everything that I’ve accomplished.” 

_ “Yes. And you’ve accomplished so much.”  _

“Exactly. What was it all for?” Jongin asks. “I’m getting serious deja vu over here. I swear I had the same conversation with my mother like a week ago.” Kyungsoo chuckles.

_ “Nini, do you remember what I said to you about a month before I left?”  _ Kyungsoo asks.  _ “Not over the summer, but back in February.”  _

“Dunno. You said a lot of stuff back when you were still fluent.” 

_ “Oh, you.”  _ Kyungsoo’s heart is so full of fondness.  _ “No. When you were saying how it wasn’t fair that I spent so much time working on Jikdo, and not enough with you.”  _

“Yeah.” 

_ “Sweetheart, don’t you think it’s almost the other way around now?”  _ Kyungsoo smiles.  _ “You spend so much time with SYTYCD and at MDC.”  _

“But I need to,” Jongin protests. 

_ “You do,”  _ Kyungsoo agrees.  _ “I’m not trying to say otherwise.”  _

“I really, really love it here,” Jongin murmurs. “I don’t think that I can just leave.” When Kyungsoo stays silent, Jongin continues talking. “Soo… I just. I want to accept that offer.” When the quiet period keeps stretching longer, Jongin raises his eyebrows in concern. “Babe?” 

_ “I’m here.”  _ Kyungsoo’s voice is quiet.  _ “I heard you.”  _

“LA gave me so much.” Jongin swallows. “LA helped me realize what I could be. And now I want to pursue it. I just… When I came here, I said I wanted to try to see how far I could go. Hyung, I just keep getting further and further.” Jongin’s voice becomes a little more confident with each word. “So I don’t really want to stop mid-way and go back to the beginning. Not when I’ve made it here all by myself.” 

_ “I know, Nini, I know.”  _ Kyungsoo’s voice almost sounds a little sad.  _ “Don’t think for a second that I’m not proud of you. But I can’t help but feel at least a tiny bit reserved about this, sweetheart.”  _

“Hyung, I know I can make this work,” Jongin pleads. “I’ve already done so much research, I’ve looked into it.” 

_ “Since when did you do research?”  _

“I have no idea,” Jongin bites back a smile. “But I did research on taking a gap year and all that. Everything I told you earlier. Hyung, please. Jikdo is a huge part of your life, just like dance is mine. I know we won’t get… to do everything we said we would.” Jongin’s throat closes up just the tiniest bit. “But we’ll get to do things that we didn’t think we could.” 

_ “Wow.”  _ Kyungsoo is at least a little impressed.  _ “That was very profound.”  _

“I know, right? I don’t even know where that came from.” Jongin laughs, and Kyungsoo feels his heart do a little flip in his chest. 

_ “You keep talking like this, and I don’t know what I’ll do without you,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs.  _ “Stop being so cute. Stop making me proud. Stop being so beautiful, Nini, and then we can talk about this offer of yours.”  _

“I want to pursue my dream,” Jongin tells Kyungsoo. He’s so sure of it. “I want to pursue my dream, and you want to pursue yours. I want you to pursue yours.” 

_ “A little confusing, but also profound.”  _ Kyungsoo smiles.  _ “I get it, Nini.”  _

“Do you?” Jongin teases. “Should I speak slower?” 

_ “You’ve really become so strong and confident,”  _ Kyungsoo tells his boyfriend.  _ “The Nini I met last September would never have said these things.”  _

“The Jongin I was last September would have never made it this far if he thought like that,” Jongin counters. “I want this for both of us.” 

_ “I know.”  _ Kyungsoo sighs and closes his eyes. Truth be told, Jongin was--and still is--a huge part of the reason that Kyungsoo had wanted so badly to have the chance to return to the States. His charm, his cuteness, his love. Even though he doesn’t have a countdown on his phone, Kyungsoo’s also counting down the days in his head until Jongin runs into his arms at the airport. The future that Jongin wants nullifies all of that. The prospect of returning feels so empty without the anticipation of being reunited with Jongin. He hadn’t even considered a future where Jongin would not be there, waiting for him when he returned. Jongin is the reason why it was so difficult to tear himself away back in February. And now, what Jongin is saying is that he’s willing to be apart for even longer. Kyungsoo hates the thought. There are days where he doesn’t think he can stand being away from Jongin for even another week, forget about months. Part of him wants to chuckle at the way he’s being so reluctant to let Jongin go, when in February, it was Jongin who couldn’t bear to let him leave. 

“We’ll still be together,” Jongin says suddenly, cutting Kyungsoo’s train of thought in half. 

_ “Huh?” _

“I’m not letting you go, hyung.” It’s as if Jongin read his mind. “We’ll still be together. We’ll find a way to make it work. I promise.” 

_ “You’re making promises now, too? To me?”  _ Kyungsoo smiles fondly. 

“I promise we’ll find a way back to each other,” Jongin murmurs softly, and Kyungsoo sighs quietly. He wants Jongin by his side more than anything in this world. But at the same time, Kyungsoo doesn’t want to talk him out of pursuing his dream. Perhaps it’s because he knows that if he were in Jongin’s position, he would do the same. A chance to really accomplish something. Kyungsoo can’t just take that away from Jongin for selfish reasons. 

_ “Yeah. Okay, hon.”  _ Kyungsoo’s heart is heavy as he says the words, but his mind is clear.

“Okay, what?” Jongin is startled. 

_ “I don’t want you to resent me later for giving up your dream for me, even if you don’t think you will now,”  _ Kyungsoo explains.  _ “I don’t want to take this away from you, even though I don’t want to be away from you.”  _

“I wouldn’t give this up, hyung.” Jongin’s words are so bold that they send a shock through Kyungsoo. “That’s how much I want it.” 

_ “Say that again.”  _ Kyungsoo’s voice is deeper, laced with something more lurid. 

“I want it more than I ever wanted anything for myself.” Jongin’s breathing slows down as he catches onto Kyungsoo’s mood. “Does confidence turn you on, hyung?” He laughs softly. 

_ “You know I like it when you tell me what you want.”  _ Kyungsoo backs away from his desk and back to his bed.  _ “But when you say it so strongly…”  _ Kyungsoo’s breath hitches when he drops a hand to his crotch.  _ “Confidence is so, so sexy on you, Nini.”  _

“We’ll talk about the details later,” Jongin asserts, and Kyungsoo gets the feeling that he’s just showing off now. “Right now, I want you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will eat Jongin  
>  Also it's been forever but  
>  ~~SHINee's~~ Aranee and I are back :D  
>  Short a/n today, but I love you guys :3
> 
> I'll let the chapter speak for itself today.
> 
> We are really curious of what you think about this chapter, so let us know in the comments <3\. See you soon~
> 
> I'm in Criminal heaven (still sad Heaven isn't on the album though). Consider checking out Taemin's new MV Criminal, it's epic: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFQL7BS6lrs>


	25. so what

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Italic_ speech is Korean.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains homophobia, bullying and violence. The parts with the triggering content are clearly marked within the chapter and can be skipped. We are providing a trigger-free summary at the end of the section.

This week, when Cat announces all the dancers after their opening group performance, she doesn’t call ‘Kai and Makenzie’. This week, Jongin is just ‘Kai’, and he runs on stage with a huge, beaming smile as the audience erupts into cheers for just Kai. But even after all the dancers have been introduced and Cat finishes her opening spiel, Jongin sidles up behind Makenzie and places both hands on her waist reassuringly. The contemporary dancer leans subtly back into his presence, grateful for the company. Since the show is down to the Top 10 dancers, each competitor is now partnered with an All-Star dancer instead of another contestant. Even though Jongin gets along well with his new partner, Witney, the new arrangements are still jarring. For the first time since the show started, Jongin really feels like he’s competing on his own. It’s definitely an adjustment, and as Cat sobers to begin revealing the Bottom Four dancers for this week, Jongin is very, very glad to have Makenzie’s familiar presence near him; mutual support, like they’ve been doing for the past seven weeks. Cat clears her throat to announce the names of the contestants in danger of being eliminated. Instead of six dancers like in the past weeks, now there are only four names announced, and the judges do not automatically save dancers anymore.

“Tucker, since you weren’t able to compete last week, you are automatically in danger of being sent home,” Cat announces, and Jenna’s partner nods in resigned agreement before stepping forward. Jongin shifts nervously and glances around the studio to try and calm down. “Makenzie.” Fuck. Jongin’s blood runs cold, and for a second, he tightens his grip on Makenzie, as if he could prevent her from stepping forwards. She does, and even though Jongin can only see the back of her head, he knows that she’s still wearing that brave smile of hers. Suddenly, Jongin feels incomplete without someone to hold. The feeling only intensifies with the next name. “Jenna.” 

_ So this is how it’s going to be,  _ Jongin thinks grimly, just before he realizes that there’s another boy who’s in danger tonight, and  _ oh shit, please don’t let it be me, don’t let it be me, don’t let it be-- _

“Nico,” Cat announces, but contrary to feeling relieved, Jongin is just as anxious as he was when Cat had started speaking. He barely registers anything that happens next, including Cat’s entire spiel as she directs him and the other dancers offstage.

“... won’t have any solos,” Nigel is saying when the dancers who have made it through to the Top 8 make it backstage and tune into the live broadcast on the TV. The announcement only serves as another stress factor. No solos means that the dancers are losing one precious chance to redeem themselves. Decisions for the Top 10 are made swiftly, because the stakes have been pushed higher and higher with every week. Jongin presses his lips together in a thin line and paces back and forth backstage until Makenzie and Jenna join him. Jongin promptly embraces both of them and holds on tightly. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” someone is saying, but it’s not; Jongin’s nerves have been shot to hell, and they still have an entire evening to go. 

“I need to start filming these episodes drunk,” Makenzie mutters, shaking uncontrollably, and for some reason, this makes Jongin laugh until tears. 

“You’re not even old enough to drink.” 

“That is so, so beyond the point…” Makenzie collapses onto a couch next to Jenna, who has her knees pulled up to her chest. Looking down at his two favorite girls, Jongin feels something like déjà vu wash over him. They’re in the exact same position as last week, Jongin realizes tiredly, when he and Alan were both facing elimination. And now, one of the girls isn’t going to make it, and Jongin can’t bear to let either of them go. 

Kyungsoo is bent over at his desk, mumbling about the joys of graph formatting in LaTeX, when there’s a sharp rap on his door before it opens. He doesn’t bother looking up, not even when Junmyeon places a cup of iced coffee on the corner of his desk and pats his back somewhat encouragingly. 

_ “Good morning to you, too,”  _ Junmyeon says after a minute, taking a seat on Kyungsoo’s unmade bed and opening up his laptop. 

_ “G’morning,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs absently.  _ “Hyung, which framework did you use again to make your graphs for your thesis?” _

_ “Are we talking graph graphs or architecture and automatons?” _

_ “Graph graphs. I’m already done with the others, even though it took me all day and night yesterday. You’d think I would have gotten faster at this after all the years of handing in my assignments in TeX, but no.” _

_ “I used pgfplots, but getting familiar with that and things to look the way you want might cost you another night at least. It’s a little too powerful for simpler use cases sometimes.” _

_ “Well, at least it seems to have some decent documentation.” _

_ “There he goes again…“  _ Junmyeon murmurs sarcastically.

_ “God.”  _ Kyungsoo rubs his tired eyes. He’s not even halfway through the day yet, and he can already feel the beginnings of a headache coming on.  _ “Why is there so much shit to do?”  _

_ “Mmm.”  _ Junmyeon hums in agreement.  _ “Why do I feel like you are much busier than I was when I was writing my thesis?”  _

_ “Dunno--”  _

_ “Oh, maybe it’s because I didn’t write 48 of pages that ended up being useless.”  _

_ “Listen,”  _ Kyungsoo sighs tiredly while Junmyeon teases him,  _ “being thorough is an asset.”  _

_ “You know what else is an asset? Getting to the point.”  _

_ “Oh, I’ll get to the point.”  _ Kyungsoo picks up his coffee.  _ “I want to burn my entire thesis.”  _

_ “Not the worst idea you’ve ever had.”  _ Junmyeon stretches upwards.  _ “It’s coming down to our last few months in Korea, Soo, and your last few months in school. We should be going out on weekends, having fun, sightseeing…”  _

_ “Dream on.”  _ Kyungsoo snorts.  _ “There’s not really much time to have fun when doing anything in LaTeX could be the topic of a very lengthy thesis on it’s own..”  _

_ “What a shame.”  _ Junmyeon says, but he doesn’t sound too put off. When it comes down to it, he’ll still sit in Kyungsoo’s room for the whole day and revise every word. While Kyungsoo will never say it out loud, he’s grateful for the support and friendship that Junmyeon proffers.  _ “We’ll just make up lost time in America then, I suppose.”  _

_ “I’ll show you around. Boston’s a nice city.”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs. It would be nicer if a particular boy was back home.

_ “Any cute guys?”  _

_ “Well.”  _ Kyungsoo clears his throat pointedly.  _ “Yeah.”  _

_ “Are they my type?”  _

_ “You have a type?”  _ It’s Kyungsoo’s turn to tease.  _ “You’re pretty easy for anyone, hyung.”  _

_ “Do Kyungsoo, I’ll set your thesis on fire.”  _

_ “Well, don’t let me stop you.”  _ Kyungsoo gestures to the stack of papers on his desk, indicating a free for all. 

_ “One of these days,”  _ Junmyeon mutters with zero menace. 

_ “They’re cute,”  _ Kyungsoo concedes.  _ “Well, it depends who you meet, but yeah. And it’s nice. America is so progressive and open-minded about sexuality.”  _

_ “Sounds like it.”  _ Junmyeon brushes his hair back from his forehead.  _ “I’ve heard they’re a little wild about it, though.”  _

_ “Like I said, depends on who you meet. Nini has a friend--his name is Baekhyun--he just… couldn’t be gayer if he tried. He’s all over his fiance 24/7. But you probably wouldn’t be able to tell that Chanyeol is gay if you met him on his own.”  _

_ “I presume Chanyeol is Baekhyun’s boyfriend?”  _

_ “Fiance. Yep. Nice guy. Really smart. He just got a position at Nvidia, actually.” _

_ “Oh, good for him.”  _ Junmyeon sounds impressed.  _ “Wow, so you really found yourself a gay friend group. Quite a change from middle school, I’d say.”  _

_ “Huh?”  _ The comment throws Kyungsoo for a circle.  _ “Oh, yeah. Yeah. Who would’ve known?”  _

_ “I’m proud of you.”  _ Junmyeon’s voice is quiet and comforting. He’s not only Kyungsoo’s best friend, but he’s also his reliable, loyal hyung. They’ve had a long friendship, Kyungsoo thinks. It may be because he didn’t get much sleep last night, but his mind is already beginning to drift… 

~

_ “Cutie.”  _ A voice whispers low in his ear, and Kyungsoo ducks his chin, smiling down at his hands which are folded neatly in his lap.  _ “Meet me behind the school after class, okay?”  _ Kyungsoo nods affirmation. His first boyfriend. They hold hands under the lunch table sometimes, and sneak private time whenever they can. Their puppy love romance is their own little secret; a world that only they know. And it’s beautiful--even though they’ve only been dating for a month, Kyungsoo is sure that he’s in love. He sneaks glances at his boyfriend across the classroom until the bell rings, then wordlessly weaves through the students dashing through halls to get to extracurriculars or their locker to follow him to the back of the brick building. 

_ “You look cute today.”  _ His boyfriend looks so handsome, leaning against the side of the building like they’re in some forbidden rom-com movie.  _ “How was your day?”  _

_ “It was okay.”  _ The butterflies in the pit of Kyungsoo’s stomach flutter furiously when the taller male holds his arms out. 

_ “Nobody’s around.”  _ His boyfriend coaxes, and Kyungsoo steps forward into the hug, shyly wrapping his own arms around the other boy’s waist. He smiles into his boyfriend’s school uniform when he feels a kiss dropped on the top of his head. This is all so new and exciting. Kyungsoo feels safe, warm, and unbelievably happy. 

TRIGGER WARNING: Homophobia, bullying and violence  
Skip to the next red box for a trigger free summary.

_ “Yah!”  _ The shout makes Kyungsoo’s heart leap into his throat and flinch away from his boyfriend, who pulls back as if struck by lightning. The exclamation is followed by a variety of noises, which range from disgusted remarks to mocking giggles.  _ “What are you two doing?”  _ Kyungsoo stands, frozen to the spot, while his boyfriend sprints away. In a second, he’s deserted Kyungsoo, who’s terrified to turn around. They’ve been caught. Kyungsoo’s chest fills with dread and fear.  _ “I thought you were being suspicious, always prowling around the back of the school,”  _ the voice of another student drawls, lazy and jeering.  _ “Turns out you’re just a fag.”  _ Kyungsoo squeezes his eyes shut and wills himself to breathe as the other voices chime in. 

_ “Did you see them hugging?”  _

_ “Dude, you’re so fucking messed up.”  _

_ “Did you see who the other guy was?”  _

_ “Ooohhh, was he your BOYFRIEND?”  _

_ “Don’t worry about the other guy.”  _ It’s the first voice again. _ “If we have him, then we have the other.”  _ Kyungsoo gasps as a foot connects with his backpack and jolts him forward. He throws his hands out in front of him to stop his fall, but it’s too late--he tumbles to the dusty ground, head still lowered in shame and fear.  _ “Oh? Do Kyungsoo.”  _ The boy reads his name tag, which betrays him at the worst of times. 

_ “Kyungsoo?”  _ A familiar voice of one of his classmates inquires gleefully, and Kyungsoo clenches his fists to prevent hot tears from spilling out from the corners of his eyes.  _ “Hah. Always knew you were weird, but I didn’t know you were a fag.”  _ There’s more mocking laughter, more insults and slurs tossed at him. Kyungsoo feels small and afraid and scared. What if they tell his parents? The teacher? What about his boyfriend? What’s going to happen to him? 

_ “Yah, let’s go.”  _ The first voice comes back, lazily confident.  _ “Imma be late for baseball practice. Hey, see you around, faggot.”  _

Kyungsoo never speaks to his boyfriend again. In fact, when he tries to make eye contact in class the next day, his boyfriend just acts like Kyungsoo doesn’t exist. Kyungsoo’s chest squeezes painfully tight, and he hunches in on himself. He’s naturally non-confrontational, normally shy and quiet, so he keeps to himself. He never is quite brave enough to approach his (ex)-boyfriend to talk about the situation. And so, Kyungsoo is the sole victim of the group of boys and girls from his grade who taunt him relentlessly during all hours of the school day, everywhere he goes. ‘FAGGOT’ gets written in glaring red pen on a piece of paper and stuck to his locker. Whispers and jeers follow him as he makes his way down the hall, getting pushed and shoved. His lunch tray gets stolen and spilled over his uniform. His classmates either pass him like he’s a ghost, or they join in on the bullying. After class, Kyungsoo can only cover his face with his arms and pray that his glasses don't get smashed as kicks and punches rain down on him, along with the increasingly insulting jeers. 

“ _ You like it in the ass, don’t you?” _

_ “What a cunty little bitch.”  _

_ “Pft, did you have a crush on me? You’re not my type, whore.”  _

_ “He’ll probably sleep with anyone who’ll give it to him.”  _

_ “Wanna ride my dick, fag?”  _

Thankfully, Kyungsoo’s parents never find out until he tells them much, much later on in life, but they do question his dusty, rumpled clothes, the bags under his eyes, and the cracked glasses. Kyungsoo makes excuses; he tells them it was just a small fistfight, or that he was clumsy and fell--nothing big, so don’t worry about it. But inside, he feels smothered and terrified everyday. There is something very, very wrong with him, and Kyungsoo does his best to ignore it, to pretend that it doesn’t exist, so that he will finally stop getting beaten up and ridiculed, but the feeling is always there, and nothing that Kyungsoo does will make it go away. And so he buries himself in his studies, partially to numb himself from thinking about the kids who make his life a living hell, and partially to make up for where he so miserably fails. If he is a faggot, he will at least make straight A’s. If his uniform is muddy, at least he is at the front of the class. But rather than garnering him respect, this only gets him more hate. Everything that Do Kyungsoo does is wrong. 

One day, Kyungsoo sits in the corner of the lunchroom, apple in his hand, textbook spread out in front of him, when the apple is knocked out of his loose grip and the textbook is yanked away mid-sentence. Kyungsoo slips his glasses off and stands up; he has long since learned to start being defensive from the start of episodes. 

_ “Yah. Faggot.”  _ Kyungsoo stares somewhere past them blankly, hands stuffed into his pockets. The cafeteria is blurry without his glasses on. One of the boys laughs.  _ “Look at him. He doesn’t even deny it.”  _

_ “You’re a whore, aren’t you?”  _

_ “Do Kyungsoo likes boys,”  _ one of the boys announces loudly, which draws the attention of several tables who turn and look at the scene curiously. The back of Kyungsoo’s neck burns red-hot with humiliation, but his fists clench inside his pockets with anger. Fuck this.  _ “Yah, if you’re looking for a slut, I’ve got one right here. He’ll probably get down on his knees for anyone.”  _ This garners a few laughs. Someone slaps him on the back appreciatively, which seems to urge the boy on.  _ “You wanna suck my cock, slut? Bet you would.”  _ The boy steps closer to him, close enough so that his breath fans disgustingly hot on Kyungsoo’s cheek.  _ “You know why? Because you’re a FAG.”  _ And just like that, something inside Kyungsoo snaps. 

_ “SO WHAT?”  _ His voice comes out deep, defiant, and downright furious. Half the lunchroom hears it, and he knows. It’s enough to make the boy jump back in surprise. It’s the first time that Kyungsoo has ever said anything or reacted to months and months of humiliation and bullying, the first time he has affirmed their allegations. He's so tired of sitting there and taking shit, feeling weak, feeling scared, feeling worthless, feeling self-hate. So what if he is gay? Kyungsoo clenches his jaw. Fuck them all. He stoops to pick up his textbook and pushes past the boys to walk out of the cafeteria. For once, they say nothing. 

When he first entered primary school, Kyungsoo joined the school choir to partake in an extracurricular. Four times a week, he spends his afternoons in a cozy classroom with his teacher and a few classmates, practicing runs, projection, and harmonization. Kyungsoo knows he’s good, and he also loves it. This is the only time in the day that he feels calm and safe. Singing soothes him, lulls him in a similar way that burying his nose in a textbook does. So that afternoon, his heart nearly stops when the teacher announces that a new student has joined their choir. Kyungsoo’s skin prickles with distaste. Isn’t it enough that they follow him around school, yell at him in front of the entire lunchroom, and beat him up on his way home? Why, why must they follow him here as well--

_ “Hi. Can I sit here?”  _ The voice is quiet and unassuming. Kyungsoo only glances up slightly before nodding. He must really be new, if he wants to sit next to Kyungsoo. Even people in the choir isolate themselves from him as much as possible.  _ “Thanks.”  _ There’s some shuffling as the boy next to him unpacks his things, and Kyungsoo steals another glance, this time to read the nametag.  _ Kim Junmyeon.  _ Oh. Kyungsoo knows him. He’s the impeccable class president of the class that’s a year above him. Teacher’s pet. Perfect role model. Respected by most of the school, even though he isn’t a third year yet. There’s no way he hasn’t heard at least some of the whispers and rumors that surround Kyungsoo. And yet, here he is, sitting next to him, completely unfazed. The teacher claps her hands. 

_ “Warm up together, please.”  _ Kyungsoo goes through the scales in harmony with the rest of the students, but he’s curious; instead of focusing on his own notes, he’s listening to Junmyeon. The older boy is good--not in the way which makes Kyungsoo’s jaw drop at a hidden talent, but he’s keen enough to only veer off-tune for a few notes, and keep up with most of the easy exercises. He listens diligently to the teacher’s corrections, and tries his best to follow the instructions. Kyungsoo sneaks glances at him all through class, firmly ignoring the way his heart jumps at Junmyeon’s handsome side profile, and how Junmyeon catches his eye once and smiles all tight-lipped but friendly. Kyungsoo almost laughs at himself. He must really be lonely these days. When class ends, Kyungsoo hurries to gather his things and leave, like he always does. 

_ “Kyungsoo, right?”  _ Junmyeon asks as Kyungsoo stands up. Kyungsoo looks up and nods. Junmyeon extends a hand, which Kyungsoo clasps with both hands.  _ “I’m Junmyeon.”  _

_ “Nice to meet you, sunbae,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs, bowing a little. 

_ “You sing really well, Kyungsoo.”  _

_ “Thank you.”  _ Kyungsoo keeps his eyes lowered out of habit, but Junmyeon doesn’t call him out on it. 

_ “How long have you been singing?”  _

_ “Just… a few years, I guess.”  _ Kyungsoo looks up now, and Junmyeon beams at him. 

_ “You’re so good. I was trying to pay attention to what the teacher was saying, but I also just wanted to hear you sing.”  _

_ “Oh!”  _ Kyungsoo wants to blush.  _ “T-thank you, sunbae.”  _

_ “I used to be on track and field,”  _ Junmyeon says amiably. Kyungsoo shifts; he’s used to making fast transitions, but Junmyeon’s still talking to him.  _ “But it was definitely not my forte.”  _ He looks at Kyungsoo expectantly, and when Kyungsoo finally gets the pun, he groans quietly. Junmyeon laughs at his reaction before continuing. _ “Everyone kept leaving me in the dust, and if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’m a sports person. So I desperately needed another extracurricular.”  _

_ “You’re pretty good, sunbae.”  _ Kyungsoo tells him honestly.  _ “You have some natural talent.”  _

_ “Not compared to you. I really picked the wrong person to sit next to, huh?”  _ Junmyeon teases, then laughs easily. Kyungsoo freezes for a second, but then he gets the compliment, and he laughs shyly as well.  _ “Hey, you got anything to do now?”  _

_ “Me? No.”  _ Well, he needs to figure out where his bullies are so he can avoid them, but he suspects Junmyeon is referring to his schedule. 

_ “I’m feeling banana milk right about now. Test week, you know how it is. Wanna join me?”  _ Junmyeon’s smile is genuinely hopeful, and Kyungsoo decides to test the waters lightly. 

_ “Are you trying to get singing tips, sunbae?”  _

_ “Well, if banana milk will do it…”  _ Junmyeon winks, and Kyungsoo laughs.

_ “Sure.”  _ As they walk out of the school together, Kyungsoo’s heart drops when he sees the usual group of bullies waiting for him along the sidewalk. His palms feel sweaty, and his entire body tightens instinctually, ready for confrontation. 

_ “Hey, it’s this way.”  _ Junmyeon calls, and Kyungsoo turns around to see Junmyeon waiting for him in the opposite direction of the boys, who stare at him like they can’t believe what they’re seeing. And if Kyungsoo is being honest, he can’t believe himself either.  _ “Sorry, do you live in the opposite direction? I guess it’s out of your way to come, then. You don’t have to if it’s a long way--”  _

_ “No, no, it’s fine.”  _ It’s more than just fine, actually.  _ “Just a couple bus stops’ difference.”  _ Kyungsoo walks quickly to catch up with Junmyeon.  _ “Your warm-up was really good, sunbae. But for the high notes, it’ll be easier…”  _

_ “Yah.”  _ An angry voice calls him, and Kyungsoo stops in his tracks. He was trying to get to the school garden to get some studying done with Junmyeon, but apparently he’s been ambushed. 

It’s been a few weeks since Junmyeon first sat next to him in choir. Initially, Kyungsoo was hesitant; scared to believe that there was really someone who wanted to even talk to him, much less befriend him. But Junmyeon waves to him in the hallways and walks with him to classes that are in the same direction. After school, they meet up for drinks after choir a few more times, and the conversation flows easily. He even invites Kyungsoo to sit with his group of friends at lunch--exclusively upperclassmen, but all just as studious and welcoming as Junmyeon. And because of Junmyeon’s status and seniority, Kyungsoo falls under his protection. Ever since he and Junmyeon started talking, he hasn’t gotten beaten up, and the slurs he hears from his bullies have gotten more rare. They mostly eye him venomously in the hallways and as he walks by with Junmyeon after school. This is the first physical confrontation in weeks. Kyungsoo hugs his books tighter to his chest. 

_ “Yah. You think you’re something, don’t you?”  _ It’s their leader.  _ “Found yourself a boyfriend, and now you’re tough shit. Do you think he’ll like his whore with a black eye?”  _ Kyungsoo turns around. Junmyeon is thankfully nowhere to be seen; Kyungsoo really doesn’t want to involve him in this. He can get kicked and beaten up. He just doesn’t want to lose his only friend. 

_ “Leave him out of it.”  _ Kyungsoo’s voice is quiet but unwavering.  _ “He’s not my boyfriend.” _

_ “Ooh, you’re a good little whore, aren’t you? Defending him?”  _ The boy jeers.  _ “Did you suck his cock to get him to protect you?”  _ There it is, that surge of anger that bubbles in Kyungsoo’s chest. They’re friends, plain and simple. Having Junmyeon around is nice. But not because of his status, or because he protects Kyungsoo. It’s because he likes banana milk and Kyungsoo’s adlibs. Because he helps Kyungsoo out with math, and Kyungsoo helps him out with English. Because he makes ridiculous dad jokes and Kyungsoo calls him out for it. 

_ “I said leave him out of it.”  _ Kyungsoo snaps, then ducks as the first swing comes, surprising both himself and his bully. He didn’t think he had it in him to dodge. However, the second punch catches him straight in the stomach, and he drops his books to keel over and clutch his midriff. 

_ “Fuck him up, see if his faggot boyfriend likes him all bruised,”  _ the leader jeers. Kyungsoo lashes out with a kick that connects with someone’s knee. He doesn’t even know why he bothers; usually, he would just lay there and take the pain. But today, he’s mad. Junmyeon never signed up for this. He just wanted to learn how to sing, and had the unfortunate luck to sit next to Kyungsoo. 

_ “Enough!”  _ Kyungsoo kicks out again, and promptly receives a slap to the face. 

_ “You like that, slut? You like it rough, don’t you?”  _ More blows from overhead rain down on him. One, two, three heavy punches that make Kyungsoo grit his teeth so as to not cry out in pain.  _ “Keep your dirty hands away from me.”  _ The last slap makes Kyungsoo sees stars, then he curls in on himself, trembling as his attackers run away. His teeth chatter as the numbness subsides and the pain sets in. Dimly, Kyungsoo tries to assess how bad of a shape he’s in physically, but what he feels much more acutely is the dull, defeated beating of his heart. The blustery autumn wind, combined with the cold earth, chills him to the bone. Kyungsoo’s eyes slide shut in defeat. 

_ “Kyungsoo?”  _ There’s a worried voice calling his name.  _ “Holy shit. Kyungsoo!”  _ Kyungsoo only curls into a smaller ball and wills himself not to cry.  _ “Soo, are you okay?”  _ Junmyeon rushes over, drops his books next to Kyungsoo’s scattered ones, and places a hand on his shoulder gently.  _ “Hey, Soo. Just a yes or no. You okay?”  _ Kyungsoo’s head moves up and down just once. He can’t bear to look Junmyeon in the eyes.  _ “Kyungsoo, can you sit up?”  _ There’s a warm hand placed over his cold one, and Kyungsoo struggles to right himself. His lip feels like it’s been split open, and his breathing comes harsh and ragged. When he reaches up to touch his face, his hand only brushes the swelling skin of his cheek before he yanks it away, wincing at the pain. Something warm is draped around his shoulders. Junmyeon’s jacket, Kyungsoo realizes.  _ “Kyungsoo,”  _ Junmyeon whispers, worried eyes trailing over Kyungsoo’s face. He doesn’t need to ask. He knows Kyungsoo is an outcast, and he knows exactly who hates him. Kyungsoo’s eyes fill with hot tears that sting his cheeks as they fall. 

_ “They called you…”  _ Kyungsoo squeezes his eyes shut. He is so ashamed of himself. It suddenly dawns on him that Junmyeon might not have heard the rumors circulating around him after all. Maybe he really hadn’t known that he’d get dragged into this mess when he befriended Kyungsoo.  _ “Called you… names…”  _ The fact that Junmyeon had been targeted hurts so much more than his injuries, or when his bullies throw insults and slurs at him. At least they’re true in his case. Junmyeon never asked for any of this. 

_ “That’s okay, Soo. I don’t care, they can call me what they want. Good God, look at you.”  _ Junmyeon’s gentle, worried tone only makes Kyungsoo cry harder.  _ “Hey, listen to me, Soo. It’s going to be okay.”  _ Solid, safe arms are wrapped around him; the first hug Kyungsoo has received since that last day with his ex-boyfriend. Kyungsoo’s tears soak into the knit sweater of Junmyeon’s school uniform, but the elder pays them no mind, instead combing his fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair to brush out the dirt and leaves.  _ “You are valid,”  _ Junmyeon murmurs.  _ “You are amazing and sweet and so, so important. And if anyone has a problem with you, you tell me and I will make sure they are dealt with, understand?”  _

_ “Why?”  _ Kyungsoo whispers, because nobody cares for someone like him, someone so fundamentally broken and flawed.  _ “I’m--they’re right.”  _ Kyungsoo trembles as he says the words, knowing that he’s about to lose his one and only friend.  _ “I’m gay.”  _

_ “Okay.”  _ Junmyeon nods, then pulls back. Immediately Kyungsoo recoils--of course Junmyeon doesn’t want to touch him, he’s afraid Kyungsoo might get the wrong impression. But Junmyeon only grabs his hands and smiles; a tiny, mischievous thing.  _ “So what?”  _ Kyungsoo’s breath hitches, and he looks up into Junmyeon’s caring expression. He knows. He must have been there in the cafeteria that day; he heard Kyungsoo’s outburst. And despite all that, Junmyeon still approached him in choir. He’s still here right now, brushing gentle fingers over the bruise on Kyungsoo’s temple. Junmyeon pulls him into a fiercely protective hold, and Kyungsoo’s busted lip stings as he cracks a shaky, teary-eyed smile.

TRIGGER WARNING END  
Kyungsoo and his boyfriend get caught hugging by fellow classmates. Kyungsoo's boyfriend escapes unrecognized and distances himself, but Kyungsoo is bullied violently as a result. One day, he snaps at his bullies and responds to their allegations with "So what?" in front of the entire school cafeteria. Shortly after Junmyeon, class president and school role model, joins the school choir which Kyungsoo has been attending for a long time and seats himself next to Kyungsoo, engaging him in conversation about singing and buying him banana milk afterwards off the school grounds, which keeps Kyungsoo's bullies at distance. Kyungsoo befriends his sunbae and sits with his friends at lunch. When Junmyeon is around, Kyungsoo's bullies don't act. One day, months after Kyungsoo and Junmyeon's first meeting, the bullies catch Kyungsoo alone, call Junmyeon homophobic names and become very violent towards Kyungsoo. Junmyeon finds Kyungsoo afterwards, inciting Kyungsoo to come out to him in case Junmyeon hadn't heard the rumors. Junmyeon simply replies "So what?"

~

Jongin’s All-Star partner, Witney, extends a hand out to him when he meets up with her. He should have begun rehearsal as early as possible, but there was no way that he was going to miss Jenna’s performance. The ballroom dancer had performed beautifully, and as nerve-wracking as it is to sit and watch for the rest of the night, at least she doesn’t have to worry about appearances backstage. Jongin gave her a quick hug, then ran off to find Witney. 

“Ready?” she asks, all encouraging smiles. Jongin nods, tucking his sleek black dress shirt into his slacks to rehearse their Cha-Cha dance routine. When Makenzie was around, it was comforting to know that there was someone next to him who was feeling the same mixture of anxious exhilaration as he was. Not having her this week is different, but it isn’t unwelcome. Witney is helpful and understanding both on and off camera, and they work well together. “Let’s just walk through some things,” Witney suggests, and Jongin nods. Dancing will help; he needs to focus on something else. They’re working through a particularly tricky part in their choreography together when Jongin stumbles a little and his concentration breaks. He scrunches his nose up in frustration and stops in his tracks. Witney looks to him. “Kai? You okay?” 

“Just give me a minute,” Jongin murmurs, squeezing her hand lightly. Deep breaths, just like Kyungsoo tells him. Witney lets him do his thing, then comes up and wraps a hand around his waist. 

“Hey. You’re doing amazing.” There’s something about the way she says it; or maybe it’s just Jongin’s stress levels. Either way, he looks at her patient smile almost desperately. 

“It doesn’t feel like it.” 

“I know ballroom’s not your forte,” Witney says quietly, but with all the reassurance in the world. “And Kai, this routine is really, really difficult. But you’re already killing it. No matter what. I know how difficult it is to keep on delivering every week.” Witney pulls him into a hug, and Jongin rests his forehead lightly on her shoulder. 

“Thank you.” Jongin sighs shakily, angrily blinking back the tears that spring up in the corner of his eyes. All the stress is making him overly emotional. 

“You wanna run through that part one more time? That’s probably all we’ll have time for anyway,” Witney glances up at the clock. “We’re up soon.” 

“Yeah, let’s just…” Jongin shuffles around to get back into position. “Just walk through that one part.” 

The performance goes relatively smoothly for Jongin. On stage, with all the hot, bright lights shining down on him, the only thing he focuses on is the routine. No matter how shaky, Jongin has spent enough time at the studio this week so that the steps are ingrained in his muscle memory; instead of being worried about technicality, he focuses on his expressions and interactions with Witney. He thinks about how much support he has, watching him at this very moment--his parents, his friends, even some of his teachers. Baekhyun’s probably trying to imitate him in front of the couch at this very moment, and Chanyeol is probably torn between watching his performance and laughing at his fiance’s antics. His parents, ready to vote for him as soon as the music ends. Alan, who had texted him a massive paragraph of love and luck just minutes before Jongin took to the stage. Kyungsoo, who will ask for every little detail when Jongin gets back home and calls him up. Sehun. Jongdae. Eric and all the other dancers at MDC. His friends back home. Despite the overwhelming amount of pressure that Jongin is under, he still feels a wave of affection wash over him. He isn’t alone; he’s got so, so many people on his side, cheering for him, voting for him, supporting him every step of the way. The audience roars their approval as soon as Jongin and Witney finish their routine, and after Jongin pulls Witney back to her feet, he squints past the spotlights to find individual faces in the crowd. Excitement. Happiness. Approval. All for Jongin--his talent, his charisma, his performance. 

“Look at that smile,” Cat teases him when he puts an arm around Witney and walks closer to the edge of the stage to receive his feedback. “Someone’s happy today.” And while it’s only half the truth, Jongin nods and brushes his hair out of his face shyly. He is happy on the stage. 

“Kai, you are HOT.” Mary’s feedback garners multiple wolf-whistles from the crowd, and Jongin wryly thinks that Kyungsoo would emphatically agree. “And that Cha-Cha was HOT. You two make an amazing couple; the routine was fantastic, so well-executed--why does it feel like you improve every week?” 

“Oh.” Jongin ducks his head while Witney nods in agreement cheerfully. 

“You’re incredible, Kai.” Nigel spreads his hands in a show of honesty. “Week after week, you just keep delivering. I am so glad that we’ll be seeing you on tour this season. America loves you, young man.” 

“Whew.” Jongin falls onto the couch in relief. Feedback received, routine executed, nothing to fear until next week. At least for himself. 

“Told you.” Witney sits down much more gracefully next to him and holds her hand for a high-five. “How’s that for a performance? You did amazing.” 

“We did amazing,” Jongin corrects gratefully. “Thank you for dancing with me.” 

“Oh, it’s my pleasure.” Witney replies immediately. “You’re such a talented dancer, Kai. No matter what happens with the show, I want you to know that.” 

“No, you.” Jongin throws back, reaching for his bottle of water. Makenzie and Jenna are nowhere to be seen, but Jongin didn’t expect to see them anyway. Makenzie is probably getting ready for her own performance, and Jenna might be with her partner. 

“Your friends will be okay,” Witney says suddenly after some period of silence while they watch Fik-shun’s performance on the TV. Jongin takes a sip of water before replying. 

“Honestly, it’s not like elimination is the end of the world. We all know that.” Jongin speaks slowly, sorting out his own thoughts while he replies to Witney. “I think a lot of it is just… emotional. This summer, I was given an opportunity of a lifetime.” Jongin fumbles with the hem of his shirt. “All these dancers are so close and special to me.” Jongin swallows against the lump in his throat. “I just wish it could never end.” As he says the words, Jongin realizes that they’re true. No matter how stressful and tiring filming SYTYCD has been, the experience is unparalleled. He’s fallen in love with Los Angeles, with MDC, with this new world of dancers and dancing.

“I understand.” Witney nods emphatically. “I really do. The experience is like nothing else. SYTYCD builds a family.” 

“It does!” Jongin agrees. “It hurts every week when two of us leave.” 

“I know exactly how you’re feeling.” Of course Witney has; she’s been in this exact spot before. She’s not an All-Star for nothing. “But sometimes, you also have to remember that here are still so many opportunities to dance together beyond these four walls.” Witney gestures around to the filming studio. “The most important thing that you can take away from SYTYCD is experience and love. Remember that, and filming might feel a little easier every week.” Witney smiles at him. “You seem like the type to push yourself to the extreme. You’re passionate and insanely talented, Kai. But remember to take a breather.” 

“You sound exactly like my mother,” Jongin remarks, which earns him a laugh from the female dancer. 

“The dancers used to call me mom when I was on the show.” 

“No surprise there.” Jongin chuckles, then stands up as Makenzie emerges in a red dress from the hallway. Her brunette hair is curled into wavy ringlets, and she looks beautiful as always. Jongin stands up and holds his arms out, and Makenzie embraces him. She’s shaking. 

“I love you,” Jongin whispers. “I love you, and you’re going to do absolutely amazing. Kenzie.” Jongin looks directly at her. “Be as savage as you are when you’re roasting my ass.” 

“That’s not difficult,” Kenzie remarks with a hint of her normal personality, and Jongin laughs. “Thank you, Nini.” 

“I should’ve never told you Soo calls me that.” 

“Too late now.” Makenzie squeezes Jongin’s hand one more time, letting go to follow her partner out on stage. Witney watches quietly; Jongin’s leg won’t stop jiggling up and down on the couch, and his fingers twist at his button-up nervously through the entire performance. But if Makenzie was still scared to death, none of it showed in her performance. Every one of her positions and silhouettes is perfect, and she is loose and relaxed through her execution. Jongin didn’t have to worry--Makenzie’s performance is stunning, and when Nigel tells her that she’s one of the best dancers that they’ve ever had on SYTYCD, Jongin can’t help but beam proudly. His partner. Of course she’s adored. The judges finish their critique, which is more of a compliment session than anything, and then Makenzie falls onto the couch next to Jongin with a massive exhale. 

“Look.” She holds her shaking hand out to Jongin. “I thought I was gonna die out there.” 

“But you didn’t. You did amazing, Kenzie. I told you so.” Jongin wraps his hand around hers. “And now,” he murmurs, “we wait.” 

Jongin is ushered off stage and behind the audience seating along with the other six dancers who are safe for the week. One of the dancers puts an arm around him, but Jongin is too busy staring up at the stage to bother seeing who it is. 

“For the boys, this was a unanimous decision,” Nigel says gravely, “and for the girls, it was a six to nine vote.” Jongin wrings his hands together. Wryly, he wonders if the outcome really matters, since it will hurt either way. Neither of them deserves to be eliminated. The judges' sentiments seem to take forever; it feels like Jongin is standing on that stage himself, being strung along and forced to swallow the rising panic in his throat as the judges build suspense. From his vantage point, Jongin can see all four dancers standing together, bravely dry-eyed, but he’s sure that all of them are shaking. Downstage, it’s not much better--every single one of them are on tenterhooks to see who they will have to say their good-byes to tonight. 

“Makenzie.” Jongin’s heart skips five beats in a row. “I’m sorry.” Nigel’s announcement of the boy who is eliminated is lost to the buzz of shock that fills Jongin’s ears. Not Makenzie. Why Makenzie? She’s the favorite, one of the best dancers SYTYCD has ever seen. Jongin inhales sharply, but doesn’t breathe. He feels numb all over and his hands are clammy. Onstage, Jenna and Makenzie are both crying and hugging each other; Jongin’s eyes fill up with tears so fast that he can’t even control them before they’re spilling over and trickling down his cheeks. 

“Kenzie,” Jongin calls, even though Makenzie can’t possibly hear him. When are they going to be let on stage again? He needs to get to Makenzie. There’s no way that she’s been eliminated. 

“Kai, calm down, man.” It’s Fik-shun’s arm around his shoulders, he realizes, and he’s rubbing his upper arm lightly. “You good?” 

“Yeah,” Jongin manages, but his mind is reeling. Makenzie deserves more, so much more. She deserved at least one more week, one more dance. She had just broken into the Top 10, had so much more to show. Jongin swallows hard and, with a massive effort, forces himself to breathe until Cat calls all of them back on stage. Then he’s throwing his arms around Makenzie, and she’s sobbing quietly into his shoulder. 

“Hey, hey,” Jongin sniffs up his own tears and strokes her hair, not caring about the cameras still trained on their every movement. “Just… breathe.” Jongin needs to follow his own advice. Cat somehow gets all of them lined up in a row on either side of her to end filming. 

“We’ll see you two on tour,” she tells Makenzie and Nico, who are to her immediate right and left. “And as for your Top 8 dancers, we’ll see you next week on prime time TV. This is season 10 of ‘So You Think You Can Dance’. Good night.” 

Backstage, Jongin lets his tears fall freely, pulling Makenzie and Jenna into his chest and wrapping his arms around them. Their little family is fracturing apart, week after week. 

“I’m so sorry.” Jenna pulls back from their group hug a little to pat Makenzie’s back. “I wish it wasn’t like this.” 

“Me, too.” Makenzie escapes Jongin’s death grip and wipes at her eyes furiously. Despite the heavy crying, her makeup has stayed mostly in place. “It’s like…” she huffs out a breath to get her words out. “There’s not any rhyme or reason… all of us deserve to stay every week.” Makenzie waves her hand around the backstage lounge. “There’s not one of us that’s that much better than the others.” 

“It’s not about that.” Jongin reaches out for her hand. “It’s just for the show. You’re amazing, Kenzie.” 

“I know.” Kenzie gets out between her tears, making Jongin and Jenna laugh through their despondency. “I’m so glad to have met you guys… so glad to have danced with you.” Kenzie squeezes Jongin’s hand. “I’ll never forget this.” 

“You better not.” Jongin wipes his own tears away. “You’re stuck with us for another two months on tour.” 

“Fuck, let’s just get to the tour already.” Kenzie smiles tremulously. “It’ll be so fun. Much better than sitting here and crying like Kai every week.” 

“YAH!” Jongin is suddenly indignant. “YAH!” 

“I’m kidding.” Kenzie tips her head against her shoulder. “Just go with it, Nini. You won’t have me here next week to fuck with you anymore.” 

“Don’t say that,” Jongin protests, feeling the tears well up again. “I’m just going to cry even more.” 

“I rest my case.” Kenzie’s tone is affectionate while Jenna chuckles. “Going to miss you all.” 

“I’ll miss you, too, Kenzie.” Jenna pulls the contemporary dancer into one last hug. “You did amazing. And you’re gonna kick ass with whatever else you do, too.” She reluctantly backs away. “I have to run tonight. I have some stuff to do. Kenzie, stop by my place before you leave, okay?” 

“Sure, Jenna.” Jongin and Makenzie both wave her off, then Jongin turns to Makenzie. 

“Wanna go sneak out the back?” 

“I’m still in costume,” Makenzie complains as Jongin pushes on the broken fire exit door, which takes them to the back of the building, with its discarded wooden pallets and random weeds stubbornly growing through the cracks of concrete. “Stylists are gonna be pissed.” 

“I am, too. We’ll return them.” Jongin shrugs. 

“Okay, I feel like I shouldn’t say this,” Makenzie begins after they’ve taken a seat on a wooden pallet. 

“So you’re going to say it, aren’t you?” Jongin teases tiredly. 

“I’m feeling kind of relieved that I was eliminated.” Makenzie leans against Jongin’s shoulder and closes her eyes. “You have no idea. It’s like I can breathe again.” 

“Wow. Thanks for encouraging me.” 

“Hey, you’re still in the race. You should keep going.” Makenzie huffs. “I’ll just be your personal cheerleader.” 

“Honey, you’re a shitty cheerleader.” Jongin pats her head affectionately. “But I appreciate that. You get to go home as well,” Jongin murmurs, feeling a small pang of jealousy. “See your boyfriend, and your friends and family again. That’s nice.” 

“I will admit, I’m looking forward to going home.” Makenzie sighs. “LA is nice, but it still gets lonely here.” 

“Yeah.” Jongin nods emphatically and looks up to the night sky, dotted with a few stars. It’s a warm, dry night, perfect for sitting in the back lot of a filming studio and having a heart to heart conversation. “I miss home.” 

“We went through a lot of shit together,” Makenzie murmurs, “but I’m glad that it was you by my side and nobody else.” 

“I’m so glad we were paired together,” Jongin agrees fervently. “We were the dynamic duo. Still are.” 

“Bet they’ll let us dance together on tour as well.” 

“Bet.” Jongin smiles at the thought. “There’s lots of good things ahead of us.” 

“I know.” Makenzie’s head lifts from Jongin’s shoulder, and she smooths a hand down her red dress. “This summer was… amazing. It was everything I could have dreamed of and more.” 

“I am so proud to have been your partner.” Jongin turns towards her, and in the city lights, her eyeshadow sparkles gold. “And I am so proud of you.” 

“No, you.” Makenzie smiles and leans forward so Jongin can hug her. “I believe in you as much as you believe in me. You need to keep fighting for Alan and me.” 

Even though Jongin had asked ahead of time and received permission, he’s surprised when he pushes on the door and finds it unlocked. He hadn’t expected that MDC would really still be open this late, but here he is, footsteps echoing through a long, empty corridor as he walks over to the dance studio in the furthest corner of the building. It’s one of the smaller ones; cozy, quiet, and dark, just like Jongin wanted. He only turns on one set of lights, then busies himself with setting up his tripod to face the mirror from the back of the room. The half-lit studio is shrouded in shadows, but Jongin’s figure stands out against the painted red wall, and the ambience is exactly how he wanted it to be--somewhat melancholic, but also strangely comforting. Dancing in a little studio, with the thumping of his heart and his quiet footsteps as his only company; the setup is all too familiar. Jongin has spent countless late nights at his dance studio back home in Boston just like this, lost in coming up with new choreography, or just hoping to procrastinate on homework for one more hour. Only now, he’s here to clear his head after filming, and he’s also hoping that he’ll be able to put together a short improv session for his YouTube channel. The subscriber count has only increased ever since Kyungsoo posted his first SHINee cover on it. The incident seems like it happened years ago, and yet, it also feels like yesterday. Jongin laughs to himself as he hits record and looks up to the mirror to verify that the little red light is on. Maybe he’ll just record the whole practice, and then cut and paste footage later. 

Jongin takes his time stretching and warming up today, letting the melodies reverberate through the room while he closes his eyes and feels his way through every movement. Of course, his thoughts naturally flow to the show, and Jongin sighs quietly to himself. He wonders what Makenzie is doing right now. Maybe she’s already beginning to pack her things up. Jongin’s head drops in between his arms as he leans forward, and he tucks his chin into his chest, letting darkness engulf his world just briefly. Meeting Makenzie for the first time was equal parts exciting and nerve-wracking. The first practice was politely awkward, with both of them silently admiring the other’s talents, but too unacquainted to say anything. The second was easier. The third was relaxing. And after that, they had been inseparable. 

Jongin pushes himself off the floor and switches the music to ‘Selene 6.23’ _ ,  _ and sets it on repeat. For the remaining three hours, it is all that plays as Jongin loses himself in improv, hardly ever repeating the same set of impromptu choreography twice. 

When Jongin had first arrived in Los Angeles for filming, he hadn’t been too eager at the prospect of competing with a partner. Back home, he always did everything on his own; always followed his own whims and ideas; never had to defer to someone else. But having Makenzie around wasn’t difficult, nor did she complicate things. Rather, it was comforting to have someone to talk, relate, and dance with. In retrospect, Jongin thinks as he twirls around the hardwood floor, if he hadn’t had Makenzie as a partner for the past seven weeks, he might not have made it. Not just because the contemporary dancer is endlessly creative, talented, and a performer through and through, but because of her company, her vivacity, her fervor. In just seven short weeks, Jongin has made a lifelong friend. And although Jongin knows that he will see her very soon when the tour kicks off, his throat still closes up at the thought of having to continue on in the show without having someone’s hand to hold backstage, without her incessant teasing, without her sunny smile even during hopelessly dull administrative meetings. 

Thinking through all their history makes Jongin’s heart swell with emotion. Some of it is sad, because they won’t get to film together next week, or even walk back to the condo complex together from now on. But Jongin is also so immensely proud of the job that they have done. They had their road bumps and close calls. Jongin hasn’t forgotten all their sleepless nights and subsequent irritable morning practices. But they made it into the Top 10, and they’re going on tour. And Jongin is so, so proud of Makenzie, because his partner truly fought with every fiber of her being to stand on that stage as long as she could. 

The song ends for the umpteenth time that evening, and some of the fog that was clouding Jongin’s mind fades away. He registers the hard floor under his knees, a singular bead of sweat making its way down his bare chest, and the discarded shirt just a few feet away. Kyungsoo will like that footage, Jongin muses. The song starts over, but Jongin gets up to shut it off and changes it to a slightly happier (but still SHINee-filled) playlist. Whether it be because he’s sorted through all his thoughts, or the tiredness slowly seeping into his muscles, Jongin’s breathing is more relaxed, and he feels much calmer than when he had first stepped foot into MDC a few hours ago. 

“Practice a little?” Jongin talks to his own reflection, then nods and shrugs. He’ll just mess around with SHINee choreography for a bit, then call it a night. His thoughts wander a little more as he starts moving again, but they’re scattered now. Jongin is in the middle of debating whether his boyfriend or Lee Taemin has more kissable lips when an incredulous voice calls his name. 

“Kai?” Jongin whirls around to the half-open door of the studio in shock to see Eric, leaning against the doorframe in all his long-legged, casually handsome glory, dressed in a t-shirt and joggers. Jongin inhales sharply as he realizes that his shirt is still on the floor, his chest is very exposed, and the dancer standing in front of him has zero qualms about expressing his thoughts on Jongin’s physical attractiveness. As if on cue, Eric’s eyes track down Jongin’s body, and a hint of a pleased smirk flickers at the corner of his mouth when his gaze lingers on Jongin’s six-pack. “Well, if it isn’t my lucky day,” is all Eric comments, but Jongin still blushes instinctively. 

“What are you doing here?” Jongin blurts out. 

“Good question.” Eric’s footsteps can be heard above the music as he approaches Jongin, who is suddenly extremely self-conscious about the fact that he was caught dancing to SHINee, shirtless and alone, at ass o’clock at night in a corner of MDC. Yep. Definitely not shady. And yet, Eric doesn’t seem put off at all by Choi Minho’s rap that reverberates through the speakers; instead, he simply wanders over to the red wall and leans against it, right next to the camera that is still obediently recording their interaction. “What are YOU doing here?” 

“Just…” Jongin gestures to the camera. “Filming something for my YouTube channel.” 

“Shirtless?” Eric raises an eyebrow. “I’m looking forward to your upload then.” 

“No…” Jongin brings a hand up to ruffle his hair embarrassedly. “I mean, maybe… I mean, I--I don’t know, I haven’t… seen the footage,” he mumbles lamely, shuffling over to the speakers to shut the music off. 

“You can keep it on.” Eric’s expression is one of fond amusement, as if Jongin is a little puppy to pet and coo over. “I don’t mind.” 

“I was about done anyway,” Jongin explains, unplugging his phone from the aux cord. “You… sorry, you surprised me.” 

“I’m surprised you’re here as well. I’m usually the only one here at,” Eric checks his watch, “12:30 in the morning on a Tuesday night.” Jongin mutters something under his breath. “Sorry?” 

“Don’t you usually…” Jongin turns pink and flaps his hands around in hopes that it is enough to convey the meaning. “Meet… people…” 

“Pft.” Eric laughs at this, quiet because of the time of day, but still thoroughly amused. “I mean, I’m meeting you right now.” His easy flirting flusters Jongin to no end. 

“That’s not what I meant,” Jongin mumbles, fumbling with the camera to shut it off. “Uh--” a hand gets placed right next to his ear, and the next thing he knows, he’s pressing his back up against the unyielding wall, caged in by Eric’s smirk and his arms, and avoiding eye contact At All Costs. 

“Good evening, cutie pie.” Eric’s words, along with his closeness, make butterflies erupt in Jongin’s stomach in nervousness. 

“I--” Jongin is at a total loss for words, but he still makes an effort to make himself clear. “I’m not interested.” 

“I know you’re not.” Eric says this matter-of-factly, without a care in the world. “I am.” 

“Oh.” 

“You’re just so easy to tease.” Eric steps away, and Jongin slumps against the wall in relief. “And so cute. Your boyfie is so lucky,” Eric sighs, moving further away to absentmindedly mark some choreography. Jongin half-watches him, half-packs up his equipment. 

“I’m lucky,” Jongin mutters, glancing down at the bracelet around his wrist. 

“Trust me when I say he’s luckier.” Eric makes eye contact through the mirror. “But don’t worry.” The smirk is back on his face. “Like you said, I usually… meet people.” 

“I see why Sehun doesn’t like you,” Jongin grumbles, but he’s only teasing to watch Eric pout at him. 

“The feeling is mutual there. But hey, since you’re here.” Eric turns to eye him interestedly. “Did you give the MDC contract some thought? Figured it out yet?” 

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Jongin straightens up from tying his shoe. “Yeah, I accepted--” an unexpected but very nice warmth engulfs him as Eric pulls him into a tight hug. “Ah,” Jongin says lamely, wrapping his arms around the other dancer and squeezing lightly. “Thank you.” 

“Knew you would figure it out.” Eric ruffles his hair affectionately. “MDC is lucky to have you as well. Fuck, everyone who meets you is lucky.” 

“Why do you flirt so much?” Jongin whines, patting his warm cheeks. 

“Can’t help myself around a pretty boy.” 

“Good God.” Jongin sighs while Eric laughs. 

“No, seriously, dude. Good for you. So you’re gonna take that gap year and everything?” 

“Yep.” Jongin nods. “Gap year to tour and get things organized, then hopefully I’ll get into UCLA and… appease the parents and boyfriend.” 

“Gotcha.” Eric nods in approval. “That’s so awesome. Looking forward to seeing you around here for a while.” 

“Yeah.” Jongin smiles quietly. “I’m also excited to be here.”  _ Even if Kyungsoo won’t be with me.  _ Jongin bites the inside of his cheek as the thought flits across his mind. 

“You’ll fit right in, cutie.” Eric assures him while Jongin shoulders his belongings. “Leaving so soon?” 

“I’ve been here a while,” Jongin explains, stuffing his discarded shirt into his bag. There’s really no point in putting it back on, and he’d only be asking for Eric to complain and flirt some more. “And I have to be at the other studio to choreograph tomorrow morning, so I should get some sleep.” 

“Alright.” Eric fakes a long, wounded sigh before holding his hand up for a high-five. Jongin eyes him suspiciously. “Just a high-five, cutie. Promise.” Jongin raises an eyebrow appraisingly. Eric winks. “Swear! Nothing sketchy.” Jongin taps his hand against Eric’s, then yanks it away just as fast. “Toldya.” Eric’s eyes crinkle up at the corners. “Why don’t you trust me?” 

“Cause you pulled that wall shit earlier,” Jongin whines, and Eric bursts into laughter. 

“Good night, cutie pie. I’m looking forward to your YouTube upload.” 

When Sehun wakes up, he vaguely registers a presence on the other side of the bed, but doesn’t bother turning around. The almost familiar view of grey curtains and a navy blue bean bag in the corner is enough to tell Sehun whose place he’s at even before the morning grogginess clears from his head, and he remembers that he came over yesterday. Sehun slips out from under the covers and fumbles for his pants and underwear, carelessly discarded on the floor last night. Before he looks for his shirt, though, his hand reaches into his back pocket to check his phone. There are a few messages from Jongin (expected), one from Jongdae (yay), and one from an unknown number. It’s not all that surprising--Sehun has a plethora of unsaved numbers from all his random hookups, but he sighs a little at the idea of having to rack his memories about who he’s given his number out to in the past couple of weeks. 

Unknown 

Hey… 

H’lo 

Who this

Sehun glances at Eric’s figure on the bed, still fast asleep under the blanket as he looks around for his shirt which is, strangely, nowhere to be seen. Sehun sighs and shoves his phone back into his pocket, then walks around to the other side of the bedroom in the hopes of finding his shirt. No such luck. 

“What the fuck,” Sehun mouths to himself. Walking home shirtless isn’t a completely terrible option, but it’s the thought of leaving a perfectly good shirt behind at a hookup’s house that really miffs Sehun. The phone in his pocket vibrates. 

Unknown

Um… you gave your # to me at the club like last week 

Not helpful in the slightest. Sehun huffs; he can deal with a hookup at a later time. Before he ignores the message though, a new one slides in that has Sehun hesitating. 

Unknown

It was my birthday that day

_ Oh.  _ Birthday boy. Big eyes, shy, lots of friends. Blowjob bet night. Sehun remembers now, and texts back instantly. 

Unknown

Ohhh the cutie ;) 

Good morning

Lol 

Sehun finds himself chuckling quietly at the awkward response. It’s just all the more adorable. 

Unknown

You said I could text you

Mmm 

That I did

Looking for something fun to do? 

I guess 

Yea

Sehun slowly meanders over to his side of the bed and sits down on the edge. Everything else can wait for now. 

Unknown

I’m free tonight baby

Want me to come over?

Ok

Yeah that’s fine

Sounds fun ;)

Just letting u know tho, I’m not gonna lead u on

I don’t fw relationships

Don’t expect anything from me after tonight

ik 

It’s just my first time so 

Idk can you 

… 

You know

Go easy on me

Sehun’s shoulders shake as he bites back a laugh. He’s literally so cute; Sehun can almost see the shy, downturned gaze and embarrassed blush. He’s flattered, really--he’d half-expected to never hear from the boy again. The fact that he had texted Sehun to be the first person that he will ever sleep with… Sehun feels his heart melt just a little.

Unknown

bby you’re so so so cute

I’ll take care of you 

Promise you’ll never forget this night

“Dude. Why the fuck,” Eric’s annoying, albeit sexy morning voice cuts through Sehun’s train of thought. Asshole. “Are you still in my house?” 

“Good fucking morning to you, too,” Sehun intones, not bothering to turn around. “Did you sleep well, princess?” 

“You always hog the fucking blanket, so no.” Eric shifts and sits up in bed. “I hate when you sleep over.”

“Don’t lie. Look around you at all that blanket, bitch.” Sehun doesn’t move, not even when warm arms wrap around his bare torso and Eric comes up from behind him to kiss at his jawline. “What do you want.” 

“You can’t offer much but good dick,” Eric mumbles, hands moving up and down Sehun’s thin, bare waist greedily. “If you’re still here, you might as well let me fuck you.” 

“No.” Sehun moves to stand up, and if it weren’t for Eric’s lightning fast reflexes, his cool exit might have succeeded. 

“I’m horny, and you’re intruding on my hospitality.” 

“What hospitality?” Sehun snorts.

“Get over here.” Eric’s voice deepens and becomes more suggestive, provocative. 

“Tempting.” Sehun purrs. “But no thanks.” He leans his weight onto both his hands, and makes sure to flex as he glances over his shoulder at Eric and his somewhat attractive bedhead.

“You’re so self-obsessed.” 

“You’re such an asshole.” 

“Fuck you.” 

“No, you.” Silence. Eric rolls his eyes and reaches out towards Sehun once again. “You wanna get laid or not?” 

“Pft.” Sehun moves away and stands up from the bed. “I already have plans for tonight. Don’t act like you’re so special.” 

“Another one of your baby boys?” Eric watches, nonplussed, as Sehun makes unproductive circles around the room to search for his shirt. The dancer offers no help. “Where’s the fun in that?” 

“I met him at the club and he asked me to be his first.” Sehun glances up at Eric and raises a cocky eyebrow. “How is that not fun?” 

“Hope he’s ready to be disappointed then.” 

“Your moans didn’t sound very disappointed last night, babe.” Sehun finally spots a flash of gray peeking out from under the bed. “Why the fuck is my shirt under the bed?” 

“How the fuck would I know?” Eric swings both legs over the side of the bed, wanders over to Sehun, and places both hands on either side of his waist while his vision is temporarily compromised with the shirt over his head. 

“Now, now, princess,” Sehun begins, smirking at Eric’s disgruntled expression, “I know you just can’t get enough of me--” 

“I will gag you and tie you up and edge you until you cry.” 

“You wish.” Sehun tugs his arms through his short sleeves and pushes the hem of it down to his waist, effectively forcing Eric to release him, but the dancer is unperturbed, instead moving to grip Sehun’s forearm. Sehun pretends he doesn’t exist until curious fingers start probing at the simple two bands of leather around his wrist.

“You wear this a lot recently.” It’s a statement, not a question. Sehun hums vaguely in affirmation. “I see it every time we fuck.” 

“I’ll take that as a sign that I see you way too fucking much.” 

“No shit.” Eric examines the simple but elegant design of the bracelet. “This looks hella expensive.” He catches Sehun’s eye and raises an eyebrow. “Got yourself a boyfriend?” 

“Fuck off.” Sehun’s hand closes around Eric’s and removes it from his bracelet. “It’s a gift from a friend.” Sehun smooths a thumb over the leather bracelet as he turns away from the dancer. 

“Nice friend,” Eric comments, but Sehun doesn’t bother responding. He doesn’t need to know, and Sehun definitely does not feel like explaining. He still hasn’t replied to Jongdae’s text; a sweet and harmless ‘good morning’ that has Sehun smiling in spite of himself. Who sends good morning texts anymore, except for Jongin’s disgustingly romantic boy toy and ~~Chanyeol~~ The Idiot in Love? Luckily, Eric doesn’t pry. 

“Dude,” Sehun snaps exasperatedly when Eric’s hand lands on his shoulder and spins him around. “Dude--” Eric kisses him hard. “If you’re gonna tell me to fuck out of your house, you gotta  _ let me go,”  _ Sehun mumbles while Eric’s hands rub at the dip of his waist and trace the outline of his hipbone over his jeans. 

“If you can still talk, we’re not doing enough.” 

“Yes.” Sehun wrenches himself out of Eric’s greedy grasp. “Because I’m  _ leaving.”  _ And with a final dirty kiss, Sehun spins on his heel and walks out of the bedroom.

“Sehun?” Jongin’s voice permeates through the condo just as Sehun steps out of the shower that afternoon. 

“Bathroom,” he calls, even though he can hear Jongin enter the bedroom and drop his bag with a thump in a corner of the messy room. 

“Going somewhere?” Jongin asks through the closed door. 

“Yeah.” Sehun fumbles for a towel and wraps it around his waist. “You can come in. Or at least open the door.” Steam billows out as Jongin steps into the small, humid bathroom. 

“You…” Jongin’s eyes flit over the faint red mark on Sehun’s neck; an unwanted souvenir from being a bit too aggressive last night. “You sleep with too many people.” 

“No such thing.” Sehun looks at Jongin through the mirror as he leans forward and pats toner into his face. “How was practice?” 

“I am s-so t-t--” Jongin stretches upwards and the rest of the word is lost in his mouth. “So tired,” Jongin finishes after he pops his back. 

“All in a day’s work.” Sehun holds his hand out to Jongin, who gives him a funny look and cautiously places his hand in Sehun’s. The younger shakes him off. “No, dumbass, pass me the other towel.” 

“Oh.” Jongin pulls the towel off the rack and hands it to his best friend. “That makes more sense.” He watches Sehun dry off his chest and hair absentmindedly. 

“Hello.” Sehun snaps his hands in front of Jongin’s face, and the dancer startles a little. His eyes focus again. “You in there?” 

“Hi.” Jongin sighs and rubs his face with both hands. “Sorry, I’m really tired.” 

“Shower,” Sehun prompts. “Then dinner. Then sleep.” 

“Will you be home tonight?” Jongin asks, and Sehun has to actually consider this for a moment. 

“Maybe… maybe not.” The younger’s mouth twists. “I actually don’t know.” 

“I take it tonight isn’t an Eric night then.” 

“No. It’s this really cute guy--” 

“Uh huh.” Jongin feigns disinterest and strips himself of his sweaty shirt. 

“He’s so cute,” Sehun says, half to his reflection and half to Jongin while he continues with his skincare routine.

“Okay.” 

“I listen to you talk about Taemin, why can’t you listen to me talk about this guy?” Sehun rolls his eyes at Jongin. 

“First of all, you never let me finish a sentence about Taemin. Second, I don’t want to do things to Taemin like you wanna do things to your hookups.” Jongin purses his lips and looks from side to side as the words leave his mouth. Sehun huffs out a disbelieving laugh.   
“Really?” 

“On second thought.” Jongin’s shoulders slump. 

“Exactly.” Sehun meanders out of the bedroom and pokes his head into his closet to pick an outfit. He doesn’t put too much thought into it, just makes sure that it fits in all the right places and gives off the right impression. In the bathroom, Sehun hears Jongin turning the shower on and shutting the door. The younger finishes getting ready.

“I’ll be going, Jong. Eat dinner, okay?” 

“See ya,” Jongin calls. “Be safe. Have fun.” 

“Always.” 

“Hi.” Sehun drops his signature eye smile as soon as the door opens and he’s greeted by the shy boy from the club. 

“Hi.” He’s about Jongdae’s height and build, Sehun notices--not that he uses Jongdae as a basis of comparison for his hookups. Definitely not. And he’s cute; big, sweet brown eyes, and pretty chocolate skin that glows in the golden hour sunshine streaming in through the open door. Sehun tilts his head and smiles some more to watch the boy drop his eyes shyly and blush. 

“Gonna invite me in?” Sehun’s voice drops a little lower. “I’ll be sad if you don’t.” 

“Oh, yeah. Yeah, come in.” The boy steps aside and opens the door wider. “Sorry.” 

“What for?” 

“I’m just a little…” He fidgets. “Kind of nervous.” 

“Don’t be.” Sehun offers his hand to the boy, who shyly reaches out and takes it. He flinches when Sehun pulls him to his chest though, and cups the boy’s cheek with the palm of his hand. “We’re just gonna have fun tonight, baby.” 

“Okay,” the boy whispers. For the first time that evening, he looks up to meet Sehun’s gaze. 

“I should introduce myself.” Sehun’s other hand clasps the boy’s waist and squeezes lightly before leaning close to nip at his earlobe enticingly. The boy shivers; pliant. “M’Sehun.” 

“Sehun,” the boy repeats. Sehun’s teeth nibble along the shell of his ear now. 

“You sound adorable already,” Sehun murmurs, just to feel him blush and tuck his chin into his chest while Sehun’s soft breath and lips brush feather-light over his neck. “And you are…?” 

“Eric.” He flinches when Sehun’s grip around his waist tightens for the briefest second.  _ The world is so chaotic, _ Sehun thinks, all the while ripping up his mental image of the Sexy Asshole and replacing it with the fetching, innocent sweetheart in front of him. 

“Eric.” Sehun’s lips press harder against his jugular; Eric subconsciously arches his neck up to make room for him. “Can I call you cutie?” 

“That’s so cheesy,” Eric whines, but some of the nervous tension is gone from his shoulders, and he leans into Sehun’s touch more than he had so far. Sehun chuckles before resurfacing from his light teasing. 

“It’s the principle of the thing.” Sehun’s hand lands on the nape of Eric’s neck and tilts his head up lightly. “Can I kiss you?” Eric’s breath hitches.

“Yes.”

“And if you want me to stop, just tell me,” Sehun murmurs smoothly as he leans in and molds Eric’s lips against his own. Eric is a soft kisser, and a pliant one; he follows Sehun’s lazy, unhurried mood obediently, letting him set the pace and intensity. As languid as he had started, Sehun feels the warmth of Eric’s body under his hands as well as the thrum and arch of his waist as he presses himself closer to Sehun when the kisses become deeper and more heated. 

“Pretty boy,” Sehun whispers compliments in between nibbles on Eric’s lower lip, hand slipping from the back of his neck to rest against the small of Eric’s back and press their hips together to grind subtly. Meanwhile, Eric’s hands fist gently on either side of Sehun’s shirt, kneading the thin fabric of his button-up while they kiss. “Your kisses are so cute.” Sehun breaks away to let Eric get his breath back. “Just like you.” His lips are shiny and plump, and there’s definitely a glimmer of desire in his eyes when he looks up at Sehun, unsure of his next step, but very certain of what he wants. 

“Mmmm…” Eric looks slightly overwhelmed and embarrassed by the barrage of compliments. Sehun only smiles deviously and leans down once more. Eric meets him enthusiastically, even letting out a small hitch of breath as Sehun captures his bottom lip and suckles gently. 

“Oh--” His mouth parts easily when Sehun’s tongue slips in, hot and wet, flicking teasingly at all his sensitive spots. Eric may have been kissed before, but never like this; Sehun makes sure of it, keeping up a slow, deep swivel of his hips against Eric’s, swallowing the small whimpers that Eric makes with the single-minded intent to pleasure and seduce. Eric obeys willingly when Sehun’s hands tighten around his hips and pull him up into his arms; he wraps both legs around Sehun’s waist and clings on desperately while Sehun carries him like he weighs nothing. 

“You don’t even know… where my room is,” Eric mumbles against Sehun’s throat, molten heat throbbing in his pants and threatening to consume him whole. He’s never, ever felt this turned on before, hadn’t even known it was possible to feel so desperate, to want to be touched and handled by this ridiculously hot near-stranger. 

“Found it.” Sehun’s voice comes as a rumble, deep and sensual. Eric’s face is still buried against his neck, but he doesn’t bother lifting his head up to confirm. Sehun’s cologne clings to his clothes and skin; alluring, just like him. Sehun sits down on the edge of the bed with his arms still tightly wrapped around Eric’s waist, and settles him in his lap comfortably. Eric peeks at him to watch his dark eyelashes and hooded gaze flicker to eye Eric’s chocolate brown skin, smooth above the collar of his clean white t-shirt, and his heartbeat threatens to reach fever pitch just from observing that one gesture. His own eyes rake over Sehun’s figure as well, admiring his straight-backed posture and achingly broad shoulders. 

“Comfortable?” Sehun murmurs with so much attention and care that for a second, Eric is thrown off by the difference between his soft and hard side. But somehow, Sehun makes it work, because as they exchange dirty-sweet kisses, Eric is both achingly turned on and relaxed enough to enjoy their makeout session. Sehun wasn’t lying when he said it would be fun. 

“What are you giggling about?” Sehun teases, breaking away from their kisses when he feels Eric smile against his lips. “Cutie pie.” 

“I--didn’t expect it to be this fun.” Eric admits, which earns him an affectionate peck. Eric eyes the neat row of buttons in the front of Sehun’s shirt; the action is, of course, noticed by Sehun almost immediately. 

“Baby boy,” Sehun’s voice shifts from fond to liquid sin. “You’re eager, aren’t you?” One hand still on Eric’s waist, the other flicks open the top button nonchalantly. Then the next, and the next, and slowly, the smooth, pale skin of Sehun’s chest is exposed to Eric. Sehun lets his button-up fall off his arms and pool around him on the bed carelessly in favor of watching Eric’s kiss-pink lips part slightly, then close as he swallows hard in want. “Give you what you want,” Sehun murmurs, reaching for one of Eric’s hands to place it invitingly against his skin while his own hands move to the hem of Eric’s shirt. “Is this okay?” 

“Yes.” Eric nods, and Sehun rucks his shirt up and over his head. 

“Now…” Sehun gently motions Eric off his lap to sit on the bed, then scoots up further onto it. “C’mere.” Eric crawls obediently to lay against the fluffed-up pillows at the head of his bed somewhat nervously as Sehun leans forward over him, all chiseled muscle and warm smiles. 

“Slow,” Sehun promises, then presses their bare chests together--sending a spark of electricity down Eric’s spine at the feeling--and resumes their kisses. Eric jerks as soon as Sehun’s mouth ventures down his jawline and sucks at the smooth skin. “Is this okay?” Sehun stops. 

“Ye-yeah.” Eric shudders at the warm breath which ghosts over the column of his neck. “Sensitive.” Well, Sehun certainly doesn’t mind that. His teeth scrape over Eric’s jugular and collarbone relentlessly, making the smaller boy shudder and let out cute little gasps while he writhes against the pillows. His hips buck up and roll against the front of Sehun’s jeans, a half-hard erection straining in his pants from all the new feelings of teasing and stimulation. 

“Gorgeous,” Sehun murmurs, admiring the rise and fall of Eric’s abdomen while he struggles to catch his breath. “Fuck, you’re so pretty, baby. You feel good?” 

“Ugh.” Eric’s arms reach up and wrap around Sehun’s back, shyly tracing the broad planes with just his fingertips. The feeling tingles pleasantly, and Sehun lets himself be pulled down by the cuddly boy. “S’really good,” Eric mumbles shyly. 

“Honey, I haven’t even started.” Sehun’s deep chuckle is full of dangerous promise, and he intends to deliver as much as Eric wants. “Can I touch you here?” Sehun’s hands drift to rest against Eric’s hip. There’s a brief period of silence before Eric whispers, and Sehun’s eyes flutter with desire.

“Please.” 

“Begging already?” Sehun murmurs, trying his best to not divulge how his pulse spiked hearing the soft plea. His hand reaches down and presses in between Eric’s legs, and the smaller boy promptly lets loose a wanton whimper that sends a jolt of arousal straight to Sehun’s dick. Sehun palms him firmly, stroking hard to watch Eric’s head fall back into the pillows and his hands falter and fall away from Sehun to grip the sheets for purchase. It’s achingly hot, and Sehun is so, so mesmerized by the sight, more so than he would like to admit. Eric falls apart so easily under him, reacts to the smallest pets and kisses, and Sehun finds it simply adorable. When Sehun’s fingers trace over the swollen head of Eric’s cock, he emits his first moan of the night, a small, sweet noise from his chest as he keens for friction. Sehun doesn’t even have to reach for compliments; they come spilling out of his mouth. 

“So pretty, baby,” he murmurs, leaning over to kiss Eric. The smaller boy can’t even kiss back properly, lips trembling with all the noises that he desperately tries to quell in the back of his throat. “No holding back,” Sehun demands, firm but sweet. “Told you my name for a reason, sweetheart.” He’s beyond amused when the next noise that escapes Eric is promptly a breathy gasp of his name. “There we go. Fuck, that’s cute.” He eases up on the teasing when Eric starts pushing up into his hand more; the smaller boy whines in dismay, but Sehun doesn’t want to accidentally make him cum too soon and have all the fun be over, just like that. He promised a Damn Good Deflowering, not 20 minutes of heavy petting. 

“We have all night, cutie pie,” Sehun murmurs, settling himself into the comfortable pillows next to Eric and pulling him closer to kiss him sideways. They do so for a while, Eric curling into Sehun’s touch and embrace so trustingly that Sehun can’t help but preen proudly. He bites his lip as Eric’s hands make their way across his body, mapping out all the contours of his abs and well-defined chest. 

“You’re…” Eric’s eyes flick up to him shyly. 

“I’m what?” Sehun teases to watch Eric blush. The room is dusk dark, with a little bit of the golden sunset slipping in through the cracks in the curtains to paint golden stripes over the bed and both their half-naked bodies. The sunlight catches Eric’s eyes, which sparkle chestnut brown as he looks at Sehun and clears his throat. 

“Hot.” 

“Glad to hear it.” Sehun smirks, self-satisfied. “You…” Sehun nuzzles his nose against the base of Eric’s neck then peppers dry kisses along his sharp jawline. “You’re a cutie. So pretty and adorable. Was hoping you would text.” 

“Really?” Eric’s breath hitches, and he turns his head hopefully when Sehun presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth. 

“Really.” 

“O-oh.” Eric’s shy but happy smile is uncontainable. 

“Wanted to show you how to have fun,” Sehun tells Eric in between kisses. Without warning, his thumb slips inside the waistband of Eric’s pants, and Eric’s pulse jackrabbits, skyrocketing upwards at the sudden change in mood. Sehun’s kisses grow deeper, too. “Want to ruin you.” His only response this time is a small whimper. “Will you let me?” Eric’s hand on Sehun’s shoulder tightens. 

“Can we go slow?” His whisper is faint, but Sehun is just as reassuring as ever, reaching out to clasp their hands together and squeeze comfortingly. 

“You lead me, baby boy.” Sehun tells him. Eric watches Sehun with half-lidded eyes, already looking fucked out. “You say stop, I stop.” 

“Okay.” Eric nods, and Sehun places both of his hands at Eric waist. He rubs both thumbs against the soft skin above Eric’s hipbone a few times, taking his time before moving to undo the button and pull the zipper of his fly down. Eric doesn’t stop him, just lifts his hips up a little to let Sehun undress him, then moans when Sehun immediately strokes him over the wet spot in his boxer briefs. 

“Baby, you’re so wet,” Sehun whispers hotly in his ear, and feels Eric shudder at the dirty talk. “And so hard. Is it for me?” Virgin as he is, Eric can only blush while Sehun laughs lightly and bites at the shell of his ear. “Cute,” Sehun whispers for the umpteenth time that night. 

“Sehun…” 

“You sound so good, baby.” 

“What about you?” Oh, God, he’s cute AND compassionate. Sehun’s heart skips a beat. 

“I’m making you feel good, sweetheart.” Sehun kisses the skin behind Eric’s ear. “Don’t worry about me.” 

“Can I touch you?” 

“You will, baby,” Sehun promises, pressing his thumb into the sensitive spot just under the head of Eric’s cock over his underwear to watch his mouth open in pleasure. “Just wanna get you ready first, is that okay?” 

“Okay.” Sehun makes quick work of Eric’s underwear, smirking when his hard, leaking cock slaps wetly against his lower stomach once it’s freed from its constraints. He takes his sweet time with the boy, starting at his knee, then slowly kissing up Eric’s sensitive inner thigh with little open-mouthed kisses that have Eric keening high and desperate. Once he finishes with one leg, Sehun starts in on the other, infinitely patient and sweet. 

“Sehun…” 

“Admiring you, cutie.” Sehun’s tongue licks flirtily and his teeth scrape against chocolate skin. Precum dribbles out of Eric’s cock as it pulses against his lower stomach. “You’re so beautiful.” With a final kiss, Sehun pulls away. His own jeans are beginning to feel quite uncomfortable, but he ignores it in favor of pulling out a bottle of lube from his pocket. “Have you ever fingered yourself?” Sehun inquires, pouring a generous dollop and rubbing it between his fingers to warm it up. 

“Like… once or twice.” Eric bites his lip hesitantly. “Just out of curiosity. So not really, I guess.” 

“Okay.” Sehun shuffles closer to Eric, who has tensed up out of nervousness. “Don’t be nervous,” Sehun whispers, leaning over to kiss him through the initial uncomfortable feeling of being breached for the first time. “You let me know when it’s too much, okay?” 

“Kay.” 

“Relax.” Sehun melds his lips with Eric’s, warm and comforting. “It will be better if you relax.” One finger traces Eric’s rim, and he flinches at the feeling. “S’okay.” Sehun takes care to get plenty of lube on and around his hole, then slowly, carefully, pushes in with his middle finger. Eric clenches around the intrusion, eyes screwed shut in apprehension. “You good, baby?” 

“It’s weird.” 

“I know. It’ll get better.” Sehun pushes his finger all the way in, and stays still for just a few seconds to let Eric adjust before curling the digit towards Eric’s stomach, searching for that bundle of nerves that will change Eric’s opinion about sex almost instantly. Sure enough, when he finds it, Eric’s little sighs suddenly turn into a surprised cry. 

“Shit--” 

“Right there,” Sehun hums, self-satisfied, pressing insistently at the rough little bump to hear Eric moan his pleasure. Sweat glistens on Eric’s temple as he’s stimulated, and his chest rises and falls in time with his hitched breaths and whimpers. Sehun lets him enjoy himself for a little while, then introduces a second finger against his rim. “Going to add another, baby. Not gonna even try if you can’t take four.” 

“O-oh.” Eric’s eyes flicker to the sizable bulge in Sehun’s pants. “H-how… uhm…” He looks up shyly, and Sehun smirks. 

“You’ll find out soon enough.” 

“Okay.” Eric worries his bottom lip when the second finger pushes inside, and he feels the slight stretch. Sehun fingers him slowly and thoroughly, encouraging Eric to touch himself to distract from the pain, letting Eric squeeze his hand through the third and fourth. 

“You’re doing so good, sweetheart,” Sehun murmurs, kissing him deeply while Eric squirms and adjusts to the burning sensation of being stretched out so thoroughly. “You feel so tight. Can’t wait to feel you around me.” 

“Can you… do it now?” Eric mumbles into Sehun’s mouth. He moans lowly when Sehun massages his prostate insistently. “Sehun, please.” 

“Okay, baby.” Sehun withdraws all his fingers at once, and Eric gasps at the sudden change from being stuffed full to being achingly empty. Sehun wipes his fingers against his jeans carelessly, more concerned with shucking them off, along with his underwear. He hears Eric’s breath catch when he strips, but doesn’t look back up until he’s fished out the condom from his back pocket. 

“Fuck.” Sehun laughs in spite of himself. “You’re actually adorable.” Eric’s pupils are blown out with desire as he stares unashamedly at Sehun’s cock, velvety-soft even when hard and thick. “Like what you see?” 

“Can I…” Eric sits up a little against the pillows and reaches out to wrap his hand around Sehun’s hardness. 

“Oh, God.” Sehun’s eyelids flutter ever so slightly at the feeling of a warm, soft hand moving up and down his length after being neglected for so long. “So good, cutie.” Sehun huffs out a hard breath. “You can grip me tighter, you won’t hurt me.” Sehun reaches out for Eric’s cock as well, causing him to gasp and his rhythm to falter. There’s just something about watching Eric stroke his cock, watching his fingers squeeze and touch and press into sensitive spots curiously to watch Sehun’s reaction. After a while, Sehun closes his eyes and reluctantly pulls Eric’s hand off of his length. Eric’s expression clouds into something like confusion and doubt. 

“Not good?” 

“No,” Sehun is quick to reassure, pressing kisses to Eric’s lips. “It was amazing. I was going to cum if you kept that up.” 

“Oh.” Eric’s face flushes happily while Sehun chuckles and fumbles for the neglected condom on the sheets. 

“I think…” Sehun bites his lip as he considers the position that would help Eric relax. “Hands and knees might be most comfortable for you, sweetheart.” 

“Oh.” Eric flushes as he sits up to change positions. “Okay.” Sehun shudders as he rolls the condom on, then adds lube and strokes himself a few times to coat the condom in it. 

“I’ll go slow,” Sehun promises, dropping a kiss on Eric’s hip lightly and reaching up to squeeze his shoulder reassuringly. “Stop me if it’s too much, okay?” 

“Yeah.” Eric nods. 

The initial breach makes Eric’s breath hitch and Sehun’s gut swoop as he pushes the head of his cock past the tight ring of muscle. 

“You good?” Sehun asks, rubbing circles in the small of Eric’s back. 

“Mhm.” Sehun pushes in slowly, stopping immediately when Eric cries out in discomfort. 

“I…” Eric takes a deep, shuddery breath. 

“Tell me what you want.” Sehun is quick to encourage. 

“Want you to kiss me through it.” Eric’s eyes are screwed shut from the pain-pleasure mix, and his body is tense, even though he’s trying to stay as relaxed as possible. 

“Okay.” Sehun pulls out and turns Eric around to lay him against the pillows once more. “Hi again.” Sehun chuckles when they make eye contact. 

“Hi.” Eric blushes when Sehun opens his legs gently. 

“Try again?” Sehun inquires, and when Eric nods, Sehun leans over to kiss him languidly while he aligns himself with Eric’s hole and pushes in slowly. This time, when Eric tenses up, Sehun places his hand over Eric’s and directs it to his cock, prompting him to stroke himself while Sehun peppers dry kisses over Eric’s cheeks. “You’re doing so well, cutie. Just a little more, can you do it?” The heat is already incredible, and the way Eric clenches down around Sehun makes him strain to keep his self-control in check. 

“Yeah.” Eric cries out into Sehun’s mouth for the last couple of inches, but he lets out a soft whine when Sehun buries himself fully inside his tight, virgin heat. Sehun moans lowly against Eric’s throat when he clenches; the sensation so delicious that he can’t help but roll his hips in little circles. 

“Fuck, you feel so good, baby.” Sehun lets out a deep, measured exhale. “So, so tight and hot. Fuck.” 

“Sehun.” Eric’s arms wrap around Sehun’s shoulders and pull him down desperately. “You’re so big,” Eric whispers, and even though Sehun’s heard it a million times from his numerous other hookups, he still smirks and nips Eric’s neck playfully. “Slowly,” Eric requests, so Sehun resumes his slow, circular grind, punctuated by a slow, shallow thrust. The smaller boy moans, and he sounds so wrecked already. “Sehun.” 

“Yes, baby.” Sehun thrusts more languidly now, sliding in and out of Eric to feel the clenching pressure of his heat. Everything is dizzyingly tight around Sehun’s cock, and sweat beads on his back as arousal spreads lava-hot under his skin. “You okay?” Sehun asks, although privately, he thinks he might actually cry if he has to pull out now. 

“Ye-ah.” Eric moans on Sehun’s next thrust; the mixture of pain-pleasure slowly fades away to be replaced by mostly pleasure as he sinks into the slow drag of Sehun’s cock along his walls, and the way Sehun’s thrusts push deep into him. “Sehun, harder.” And Sehun is more than happy to oblige. 

“Tell me if it’s too much.” Sehun braces his arms on either side of Eric’s head, and begins to fuck into Eric with sharper snaps of his hips that have the smaller boy choking on strained moans and sharp gasps. 

“Fuck--Se-Sehun--” Eric’s eyes roll to the back of his head, and Sehun exhales shakily at the sight; Eric’s hands fisted tightly into the sheets, his cock hard and pooling precum all over his lower stomach while he fucks him. It only takes a few thrusts before Eric’s whines become more and more high-pitched. “I--” Sehun chuckles, low and knowing, and Eric cums with what sounds like almost a sob, clenching so hard around Sehun that he sees stars. 

“Ah--God,” Sehun’s rhythm falters as Eric trembles through his climax. “Fuck, cutie. You’re so tight, feel so good.” Sehun fucks him through his orgasm, then returns to slow, languid rolls of his hips while Eric comes down from his high. “Was that good?” Sehun asks, lowering himself down to kiss his hookup sloppily. 

“Fuck.” Eric sounds and looks completely gone, high out of his mind from the pleasure he just experienced. “So good.” Sehun chuckles and pulls out slowly, then strips the condom off and palms his own cock. Eric looks like he’s ready to nap for 10 hours straight, but he still pushes himself up and wraps a hand around Sehun’s cock to help him get off. Sehun cums to the sight of Eric, covered in his own cum, blinking sleepily up at him with a fucked-out gaze. For a moment, Sehun simply kneels there, catching his breath. Then, before he gets lazy, Sehun disposes of the condom, cleans both of them up, and tucks an exhausted Eric into the clean side of the bed. Afterwards, he hesitates, unsure of his next move. If it were any other regular hookup, Sehun would have left; it’s pretty early in the night, and he would never stay over if he didn’t need to. But Eric has proven himself to be a softie. Parts of his personality even remind Sehun of Hui. So Sehun lingers, worrying his bottom lip until Eric peeks up at him from under the covers and furrows his brows together. 

“Are you leaving?” 

“That was the plan.” Sehun starts backing away, but Eric makes a small sound of protest. 

“You said… we have all night.” Oh, my God. Sehun suppresses his laughter as he crawls into bed next to Eric. 

“Did you have fun?” Sehun smirks as Eric inevitably curls close to him, naive about hookup culture and searching for a soft touch. 

“Fun,” Eric repeats sleepily, eyes already shut tight and drifting on the edge of slumber. Sehun drapes an arm around him and pulls him in. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, SHINee's (almost) back, but you know who else is back  
>  me ;)  
>  after more than a month of no updates, aranee and I were so, so excited to publish this chapter, especially since there's so much to update on :3  
>  thank you for waiting so patiently for us, and for sticking around even during the bumps in the road. you guys are the reason that we keep writing this AU. <3  
>  I think I'll leave it at that, but I'd loveeee to chat about the story in the comments ;)  
>  see you soon! ^_^
> 
> So which Eric do you like better? =D Who do you think Sehun prefers?
> 
> Thank you for continuing to follow our AU and loving our characters dearly <3\. We can't wait to show you what's to come~
> 
> See you soon =).


	26. move-ing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Italic_ dialogue is Korean.

“NO!” Kyungsoo is on the verge of tears.

“It’s not the end of the world, Soo. Does Professor Lee know?” Junmyeon’s attempt to calm Kyungsoo down is not successful.

“Yes…”

“Good, what did she say?”

“I refuse to accept this. It can’t be.” In his single-track minded state, Kyungsoo blatantly ignores Junmyeon’s question.

“This can happen to the best of us, even you.” The older’s voice is soft and unhurried.

“I would never…” The words Kyungsoo was trying to mutter never make it out.

“You should be glad that you caught it in time instead of mulling over and over in your head how this could happen in the first place,” is Junmyeon’s practical advice.

“I was going over the user comments from the control group of that experiment again and one of those comments that my eyes paused on mentioned the button that should have only been visible in the experimental version. I don’t know what caused the bug and I certainly don’t have time to figure it out or repeat the experiment, it took 2 months to conduct the first one.” Kyungsoo’s lower lip starts to tremble. “But now I can’t use the results from the control group to clean up the data from the experiment group, which means the entire 2 months of work are useless and I can’t build on top of the results in my thesis.”

“Let’s go about this logically and leave aside the ‘what if’s. It’s a fact that you can’t use the results and data from that experiment. Ask yourself: How crucial are the results for your overall thesis?” After having read the thesis countless times, Junmyeon has a good idea about the answers to all his questions, but he needs Kyungsoo to get back into his analytical state of mind or he will miss the deadline to hand in his thesis.

“It’s important to show why a client-side heavy approach to simultaneous online editing is bound to fail and why I disregarded that for my following research completely, even if a server-side heavy approach is more demanding on the learner’s connection and the hosting platform. It’s one of the things I consider a ground truth from there on. How am I supposed to make this believable now?” Just as Kyungsoo is about to go back to being a mess, Junmyeon interrupts him.

“Have you read papers or other related work that discuss similar settings?” His question is concise and his tone demands an answer. 

“I… I don’t know… I don’t think so.” Instead of triggering another explanation, the inquiry causes Kyungsoo’s eyes to widen in a hint of panic.

“Have you actually looked for papers back then or did you just go ahead with your own implementation to try and prove that there is a smarter way to do simultaneous online editing that’s lighter on the server resources?” Junmyeon adds a breeze of reprimand to his voice on purpose.

“Uhm. No.” The younger’s shoulders slump down. A little guilt had always helped Junmyeon to calm Kyungsoo down, even if he tries to use this as sparingly as possible.

“Let’s hope you are not the first one to ever think about this. You are smart, but you are not that smart either, Soo,” Junmyeon says while he already starts typing into Google Scholar to search for papers that would replace Kyungsoo’s inapplicable experiment and support the fundamentals he based his remaining thesis on. “You should ask Professor Lee about this as well. Maybe she herself, one of her postdocs or PhD students have come across something that could help.”

Those words finally break the spell on Kyungsoo and he lifts his head ever so slowly. After blinking twice at Junmyeon, who looks back at him with confidence and his innate repose, Kyungsoo opens his laptop back up mechanically and starts formulating an email to his professor. When he hits send, he raises just his eyes from the screen to squint at Junmyeon, busily skimming through paper abstracts. “Thank you.” It’s barely a whisper, but Junmyeon picks up the shy words and smiles without interrupting his current task.

“Let me look for papers and you get started on rewriting your thesis as if we had already found the related work. This is your only viable option given the time constraints, so might as well get started,” he instructs mercilessly nonetheless.

There was no need for Junmyeon to reiterate that particular point. Kyungsoo is too well aware of just how precarious his situation is. With some amount of resignation in his movements, he switches windows to his TeX document and starts marking all the experiment related paragraphs for deletion. There is a mountain of unexpected new work that needs to be done.

The air is hot and salty, a perfect west coast midsummer afternoon, when Sehun shuffles down the sandy wooden boardwalk and steps onto the crowded beach. He spots him almost immediately, standing away from the general crowd of multi-colored umbrellas and towels, sculpted chest bare and shimmering with sunscreen, staring out at the blue-green waves like an absolute idiot. Sehun tells him as much. 

“You wanna be the protagonist of a shitty beach boy movie soooo bad, don’t you.” Sehun reaches out to grab a handful of left buttcheek shamelessly, effectively ruining Eric’s I’m-not-like-other-boys act. No, he’s just an asshole in Sehun’s eyes, albeit a hot one at that. 

“You need a goddamn tan,” are Eric’s first words to Sehun. “You are so fucking pale that I can see you out of the corner of my eye.” 

“What did you think I came here for?” Sehun unrolls his beach towel and lays down, closing his eyes behind his sunglasses. The heat is relentless today, but the light spray of seawater that the ocean breeze carries, and the feeling of sunshine on his skin are nice enough that he doesn’t bother complaining. 

“You probably came because I told you to,” Eric comments, still staring intently at the waves as if he has never seen one before. 

“I came here to get a tan and win a blowjob.” 

“You win your blowjob if you can hold your breath longer than me.” Sehun is silent for a moment, then he clicks his tongue between his teeth and sits upright. 

“Yo,” he digs his toes into the sand, “you are more easily amused than a fucking six year old.” 

“I don’t know about you, dude, but when I was six, I was not holding my breath for blowjobs.” Eric unrolls the beach towel tucked under his arm, then flops down onto it on his stomach. “So do you wanna play?” Sehun glares at him, the effect of which is nullified because of his dark sunglasses. “Dude, your eyebrows make you look like a blind angry bird. You know, the ones in that game?” 

“I swear I will toss you on that guy’s surfboard,” Sehun points out into the ocean, “and watch you drown.” 

“Oh, I don’t mind. He got a nice ass from what I can see. Also, you weren’t here yet, so you missed the cute beach bum with a shark tooth necklace.” 

“And why didn’t you ask him if he wanted to hold his breath and win a blowjob?” Sehun rolls his eyes, although he probably would have appreciated the eye candy.

“Everything about him screamed ‘I like boobs’. Especially the chick with boobs next to him.” Eric smirks. “Fuck, you really do look like Angry Bird.” 

“I hope you choke on my cum tonight.” 

“If you get a sunburn, it would be even more uncanny,” Eric eyes him thoughtfully. “I mean, you’re really pale, I bet you get as red as a lobster if you--” 

“Alrighty, mermaid. Let’s shut that mouth of yours up.” Sehun pushes himself to his feet and starts walking towards the shore without another glance behind him. He doesn’t need to, since Eric’s laughter follows him as the water races up to his toes, then pulls away. It’s refreshing, especially when Sehun continues to wade deeper and deeper, finally diving under a large wave that crashes over his head. When he pops back up past the breakers, he spots Eric, brushing wet strands of hair off of his forehead. Sehun swim-hops over to him and grabs his wrist, then tugs him underneath the water and pulls him close. Eric follows wordlessly, searching for Sehun’s lips with his eyes squeezed shut until he finds them; wet, salty and extremely soft. Bubbles escape up to the surface and seawater enters their mouths as they kiss, arms wrapped around shoulders and waists to keep them both underwater, hands tracing the waistbands of swim trunks. After some seconds, Eric runs out of oxygen first, so he pushes off of the sand to swim back up to the surface. 

“Oh, fuck,” Sehun spits out a mouthful of salty ocean water, “that shit’s disgusting.” 

“What’d you expect?” Eric asks reasonably. His fingers dip a couple of inches into Sehun’s swim trunks, just enough to be a tease, and his other hand traces watery patterns across Sehun’s chest and abs until Sehun extricates himself from their tangled mess of limbs, floating like a ball of seaweed out in the little waves. “Let’s go.” Eric grasps Sehun’s hand, so they can feel when the other comes up for air. “On the count of three? One. Two. Three.” 

Both of them take deep breaths and submerge themselves below the surface. Part of Sehun thinks that this is probably the dumbest fucking thing that he’s done all summer, minus the time he got dragged into a shower with Jongdae. The other part of him relaxes every muscle in his body to maximize his lung capacity and daydreams about sex. Eric is a fantastic cock sucker. He’s also got great stroke game. He can eat ass, talk dirty, moan like a pornstar, make out, find prostates, and make Sehun come so hard he forgets his own name. Talented guy, except for the fact that he’s an asshole making Sehun’s eyes and lungs burn to get a blowjob. Vaguely, Sehun wonders if Eric will still suck his dick if he passes out during the game, because yes, Sehun is absolutely okay with drowning just a bit if it means he can smirk at Eric all he wants and get a mouth on his dick. Unfortunately for him, his brain decides that the risk-reward ratio is not worth it, so he pushes up to the surface mere seconds before Eric does, too. For a minute, both of them gulp in lungfuls of wonderful air and cough violently. Then Eric turns to Sehun and gives him a ridiculously smug smile.

“Don’t bite me with that beak of yours, angry bird.” Sehun squawks at him before splashing water in his face. 

Jongin stuffs a lettuce wrap in his mouth, ambling down a familiar hallway of the filming studio. He flicks through his phone as he does so, mostly to calm the nerves that are already beginning to gather in the pit of his stomach for the show tonight. They’re down to eight people; every week, the stakes are set higher and higher. He smiles when he checks his text messages though. There are good luck wishes from… well, from everyone. His parents, Baekhyun and Chanyeol, Jongdae, Minseok-hyung, Kenzie, Alan, Sehun, Eric, more contacts at MDC, even Sehun’s parents. How sweet. Jongin sends hearts to everyone, then opens Kyungsoo’s text messages that he glanced at earlier in the day, but didn’t have enough time to reply to, since he wanted to get a few more hours of practice in for his solo routine just in case he falls into the Bottom 4 this week. 

ksoo hyung ♥♥♥

_good morning, love._

Have to rewrite major part of thesis

Had to delete experiment because of mistake

But is okay, I guess

How is my nini bear? 

Good luck for film today

_I love you_ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

nooo TT_TT 

you sound busyyyy

is it going to be OK?

i’m sorry i can’t help ;(

i miss you , i love you ♥

will let u know how filming goes, i have a sexy solo that u would probably like to see, but that i dont want to do XD 

That will have to do. Kyungsoo can find those later, perhaps if he takes a break. Jongin slides his phone back into his pocket, swallows the rest of his lettuce wrap, and goes to get his makeup done. 

Baekhyun had always thought that when he and Chanyeol could finally move in together, they would barely have enough room to move around. He wanted his humble apartment to be filled with memories and snapshots of their lives together: a closet filled with oversized t-shirts and hoodies that he could steal, Chanyeol’s guitars propped up in their stands, two toothbrushes in the bathroom. 

Instead, Baekhyun methodically picks up old textbooks and reading material from the shelf in his living room, placing it all carefully in a big cardboard box. There are two similar ones in the middle of the living room--one with Chanyeol’s things that he brought back from university, the other filled with… Baekhyun doesn’t even know. More pieces of his life, he supposes, parts that he probably won’t have any use for in the next few weeks, so it’s better to pack it all up to get ready to move to Los Angeles. 

A completely new, huge, strange city on the other side of the country, one that doesn’t have a recording studio that feels like his second home, and in which Baekhyun doesn’t know where the nearest grocery store is. His hands shake a little as he places more books into the box. Some of these must be Chanyeol’s, because he certainly would never read ‘Principles of CMOS VLSI Design: A Systems Perspective’. 

Baekhyun glances at his fiance, sitting on their couch, biting his lip as he looks at apartment listings on his laptop. The consternation on his face is mirrored in Baekhyun’s heart. The lyricist walks around town after spending all the time he can at his recording studio these days, trusting that his feet will take him where he wants to go. Smelling the fresh, salty air down at the harbor, watching boats pull in and out. Getting a hot dog at that place he, Chanyeol, Jongin, Jongdae, and Sehun used to go to all the time after school. Finding his way back to his childhood neighborhood. 

Chanyeol goes with him sometimes; holds his hand, puts an arm around his shoulder. But most days, Baekhyun wanders around alone, humming a song to himself, trying to remember the only place he could ever see them building a life in before he has to leave. Baekhyun bites his lip as he moves on to another shelf. It feels like for every book that he takes down, the empty, lost feeling in his chest gapes wider and wider. His apartment looks too spacious, too clean, too empty; this move is rushed, confusing, filled with reluctance. It isn’t that he’s not happy for his fiance, who is doing everything in his power to make Baekhyun smile. But as his life disappears into big cardboard boxes, he struggles to accept the fact that he is letting go of his dream, one high school textbook at a time.

Do a little twirl, smile at the red dot. Shimmy shimmy shimmy, look extremely cute. Jongin has his introduction nailed down to a science. A good thing, too, because as soon as he and the other seven remaining dancers land in their final pose, Cat Deeley reminds the audience and dancers that four of them are in danger of leaving the show tonight, which sets everyone on edge. The amount of sweat on Jongin’s palms is astonishing. Every week, he immerses himself into choreographing his routines and tries to remember that he’s here for the experience, but when competition is a huge part of that, Jongin can’t help but become anxious. 

“I’m about to announce the bottom two girls and the bottom two boys. If I call your name, please step forward. Fik-shun.” The hip-hop dancer steps forward with a grim smile, and Jongin stops breathing out of fear. “Kai.” His heart breaks into fucking two as he takes a tiny step to align himself with Fik-shun. Jongin can barely hear the girls that are announced, but as the audience starts applauding the four who are safe, it is Jenna’s trembling arm that wraps around his waist. Still, he doesn’t dare look to either side of himself, afraid that if he sees his friend up for elimination with him, he’ll just start crying before he dances anything except their group number. 

“One thing at time,” Kyungsoo would soothe. 

“Get your shit together,” Kenzie would suggest. 

“Do it for me,” Alan would encourage. So Jongin struggles, but he tries.

“Let’s remind America of how good you four are,” Nigel is saying. For a moment, Jongin’s confused, then Jenna is tugging him into the sidelines so that Fik-shun can take the stage to dance his solo. 

“We’re all doing solo’s tonight?” he asks, and Jenna nods. Her face is pale, even underneath all that bright stage makeup, but her shoulders are squared off and she looks ready to perform. Her strength gives Jongin courage as he adjusts his suspenders and smooths down the sleeves of his white shirt. He’s not showing skin for his solo, but that shouldn’t be important anyway. He wants to blow America away with his hip-hop, not his abs. When it comes to Jongin's turn to perform, Jenna pats his back lightly just before he runs out to take his spot. Relax, he tells himself. Remember the audience. Forget about the competition, right now it’s just the show. Jongin keeps his movements sharp but airy, remembers his extensions and emotions. He really loves this piece; part of him is even glad that he has a chance to perform it. 

_Hello, stranger_

_Come closer_

_I’m not an outsider_

_Tell me about yourself_

The song croons about a girl, but maybe it’s Jongin, finding the best of himself on the stage. Finding Kai. Being Kai. After all, they are two sides of the same coin. Jongin finishes his solo with glittering eyes and a heaving chest, praying that the loud applause and cheers that he gets are enough to get him to the next round. 

“Ugh.” Chanyeol makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat, and Baekhyun pushes a book back onto the shelf. His hands are too full. 

“What is it?” Baekhyun tries to ask lightly, but his heart feels so heavy right now. 

“Can’t get any apartment viewings.” Chanyeol tightens his lips into a thin line. “We’re remote, and they have enough people to go see it in person, so they won’t bother with online viewings.” 

“Oh.” The feeling of uncertainty and rushedness comes back. They don’t even have a place to live, and they’re going to be there in… what, a month? Baekhyun inhales and exhales shakily. Chanyeol is still staring frustratedly at his laptop screen. 

“I think…” Chanyeol sighs and rubs his eyes tiredly. “Might have to fly over to view them in person…” he mutters more to himself than to Baekhyun, but the elder hears, and his throat constricts as unpleasant heat prickles across the back of his neck. 

_“Yeol.”_ Baekhyun switches to Korean to get his fiance’s attention. _“I don’t like this,”_ he says bluntly. His hands flutter weakly at the half-empty shelves and the crease on Chanyeol’s forehead. _“It’s messy.”_ That’s not even brushing the surface of all the things that are bothering him, but Chanyeol knows. He clears his throat and pushes his laptop to the side of the couch. 

_“Come here,”_ he beckons to Baekhyun, who shuffles over and buries his head in Chanyeol’s neck. 

_“I don’t like watching my life disappear into boxes.”_ Baekhyun’s being petulant, he knows. Chanyeol’s arms wrap tightly around him, giving him something solid and steady to lean on while everything else in his life shifts out of focus. 

“Okay. I’ll pack up then.” Chanyeol pats Baekhyun’s head a few times before gently letting go and standing up. 

“Huh?” 

“Just wait.” Chanyeol disappears around the corner, then comes back, holding a big, empty cardboard box in his arms. It lands with a hollow thump in the middle of the living room. Baekhyun watches with growing confusion as his finance approaches him instead of the clutter stacked around their living room, then yelps when Chanyeol scoops him up in his arms. 

_“What are you doing?”_ He gets his answer when Chanyeol plops him into the cardboard box, arms and legs spilling out of the sides almost comically. 

_“Ugh…”_ Chanyeol reaches up and pretends to stretch his back. When he glances down at Baekhyun, sitting neatly inside the box, he smiles. _“All done.”_

 _“Huhhhh,”_ Baekhyun whines. 

_“My life in a box.”_ Chanyeol takes a couple of steps back, laughing infectiously when Baekhyun half-heartedly swats at him. _“Doesn’t quite fit, though.”_

 _“Where are you taking me?”_ It’s a lighthearted question, but Baekhyun still wilts. 

_“Baek…”_ The softness in Chanyeol’s voice is tangible as he kneels down next to the box and clasps Baekhyun’s hand peeking out of the top. _“Come with me.”_

 _“I never said anything about not going.”_ Baekhyun traces the grain of the cardboard with a finger. _“But it’s hard.”_

 _“Thank you for trusting me.”_ Chanyeol sits down on the floor and pokes Baekhyun’s bare calf. “I promise you’ll be happy.” His eyes are filled with love. “Thank you for being strong.” 

“This is messy…” Baekhyun murmurs with downcast eyes. “We don’t even have an apartment.” 

“Yes…” Chanyeol rubs a hand across his forehead. “It’s a problem. I think I’ll have to spend a couple of weeks over there to attend viewings.” 

_“Leaving me again?”_ Baekhyun chides. 

_“Never,”_ Chanyeol answers immediately. _“It’s like a business trip, Baek.”_

 _“I’m teasing you.”_ Baekhyun drops the point. “It’s fine.” Chanyeol’s brows furrow as Baekhyun sighs. “Send Jongdae, Kai, and Sehun my love.”

 _“Baek, this isn’t like you,”_ Chanyeol begs. “Please cheer up.” Baekhyun just shuffles around in his box. Strands of hair fall into his eyes, and Chanyeol smooths them back. _“Byun Baekhyun, love of my life, tell me what’s wrong.”_

 _“It’s too empty,”_ Baekhyun whispers. The hole in his chest, the shelves in his living room, the apartment walls. This won’t be their home anymore. Chanyeol pulls him out of the box the same way he put him in, then settles on the floor with a lapful of despondent fiance who picks at a few dry grains of rice on Chanyeol’s shirt, left over from their lunch. 

“I’m here.” 

ksoo hyung ♥♥♥

I will manage 

:( 

Watching you old dance video.

Want to see you in real life. 

Jongin stares at the four lines of text from Kyungsoo, sitting on the couch next to Jenna and his partner of the week, Courtney. He can barely hear the applause of another dancer when they finish their routine above the shouts of backstage assistants and dancers who are trying to look for their costumes and All-Star partners. 

“S’your routine this week?” he asks, not looking at Jenna. 

“Hmm?” 

“What’s your routine?” 

“Jazz Funk to a K-pop song.” 

“Wait.” Jongin perks up. “What song?” 

“‘I Am the Best by--’” 

“2NE1?!” Jongin forgets all about the competition, his potential elimination, and the show in an instant. “REALLY?!” 

“Oh, right. You like K-pop. Yeah,” Jenna laughs through her nerves. “It’s a really… interesting choreography. The costumes are pretty wild, too, but hopefully the judges like it.” 

“I can’t wait to watch.” Jongin’s feet tap the ground excitedly. “Are you before or after me?” 

“After, I think.” 

“It’s such a good song, it’s so freaking catchy. OH! You should teach me your choreography so we can dance it together! I would totally upload that on my YouTube channel or something. It would be so cool!” 

“Kai, we should get into costume.” Courtney taps him on the shoulder, looking extremely amused at his sudden change in mood. 

“That’d be fun,” Jenna agrees, looking significantly happier than she was a few minutes ago. “2NE1’s not your favorite group though, right? You’re always talking about this other one…” 

“SHINee! Yes! You should really check them out,” Jongin gushes. “I can recommend their songs. They’re really freaking cute as well! Their main dancer is Taemin, he’s so talented,” Jongin continues fanboying even as Courtney drags him off, laughing. “Go watch their music videos!” Jongin calls, and Jenna waves. 

“Ready to dance?” Courtney asks once they’re changed and warmed up. Jongin glances down at his gray shirt and pants, then at her flowy white dress. The Jazz routine he has this week is beautiful and elegant, but powerful at the same time. Hopefully it will be enough to convince the judges that he deserves his spot in the Top 6. 

“Yeah.” Jongin shoots off a quick text message while they wait. 

ksoo hyung ♥♥♥ 

jenna’s dancing to 2ne1 today !!!

i told her to stan shinee :3 

also, i want to dance for you, too. 

“Nervous?” 

“Not… not really?” Jongin sets his phone on the table and walks with Courtney into the wings of the stage. “I was nervous, but Jenna got me all excited. So now, I--” 

“Please welcome Kai and Courtney!” 

“You’re ready is what you are,” Courtney tells him as she takes his hand. Jongin squeezes it as they take their position. His third performance of the night goes smoothly, with Jongin straining to give every bit of energy that he has to his performance. Courtney matches each of his steps effortlessly, even that one part that gave them trouble all week during practice. Jongin’s smile is as bright as the spotlight shining down on both of them when they finish. 

“That was beautiful!” Cat exclaims when they walk to the stage’s center. Jongin wraps his arm around Courtney’s waist while the judges give their critique. 

“Kai, I am once again just blown away by your dancing,” Nigel says. “Your technique is so good, but more than that, I love that big smile on your face and the emotions that you make me feel. I really think you are something special.” 

“He’s right about that,” Mary nods in agreement. “Now, I know you’re up for elimination this week,” Jongin nods, heartbeat quickening for just a minute, “but I hope you know that we are really, really reluctant to have you in this position, Kai. You are just a delight to watch every week.” 

“And I love being out here every week,” Jongin smiles breathlessly as the audience erupts into cheers. Cat recites her usual voting information for him, then Jongin sighs deeply when he and Courtney make it backstage. Tonight, more than ever, he understands what it means to dance every performance like it is his last one. 

“Thank you so much.” He turns to Courtney and holds his arms out. “For choreographing this beautiful routine and dancing with me.” 

“You are so sweet,” Courtney replies. “And I really hope that you make it to the next round. You deserve it.” Jongin swallows hard. Fik-shun deserves to move on as well. But in the end, one of them will have to go. 

“I hope so, too.” 

“Come on, Baek.” Chanyeol stands up, pulling Baekhyun with him. “Let’s pack up together.” The elder obediently follows, holding his hands out for a stack of books that Chanyeol passes him. 

“These are all yours,” Baekhyun murmurs, flipping through the titles. 

“I know. You can’t reach this high,” Chanyeol teases, tugging down another stack of textbooks. “Actually, maybe we can sell these. Not like we have much use for them now anyway.” 

“Do Kai or Sehun still need them, maybe?” Baekhyun ponders. 

“Doubt it.” Chanyeol begins placing their unneeded textbooks in a stack on the corner of their coffee table. “Let’s put these up on a selling site,” he murmurs while Baekhyun picks up and traces his fingertips over an old chemistry textbook all the way from high school. He flips open the cover; there are discrete conversations scrawled all over the blank page with publishing and owner’s information. 

🐶: psst

_🍒: qt, pay attention to the lecture~_

_🐶: yeollie ♥♥♥♥♥♥_

_🍒: ur rly cute :)_

🐶: do u know how to do #14??? 

🍒: i’ll explain after he stops talking 

🐶: ^_^ come over tonight for the project? 

_🍒: really? the project? XD_

_🐶: serioussss yeol we have to get it done ;-;_

🍒: okok yes ^^

_🍒: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ what are you doingggg_

_🐶: i forgot to do math hw stop bullying :(_

_🍒: if u paid attention in lecture u wouldnt need me to explain_

🐶: :( 

_🍒: aishhh baek give it to me~_

“Yeol, how could you sell this?” Baekhyun tugs on Chanyeol’s t-shirt sleeve to get him to turn around and read their love notes. All the memories come flooding back to him: sharing a class with lanky Park Chanyeol, whose ears turned bright red whenever he looked at Baekhyun; giggling while Chanyeol stuttered through his confession; slowly growing up together all those years ago. 

_“Ah, we wrote all the sappy shit in Korean so if the teacher ever found out, he wouldn’t be able to read it,”_ Chanyeol remembers, laughing over Baekhyun’s shoulder. _“Wow, I was a real charmer back then.”_

 _“Look at you, doing my math homework for me,”_ Baekhyun teases. _“You really knew how to get the boy.”_

 _“I absolutely did,”_ Chanyeol insists. _“You’re still here, aren’t you?”_

 _“Yea.”_ Baekhyun gently closes the book and hugs it tightly to his chest. 

_“What? Baek, what is this? I’m right here.”_ Chanyeol looks deeply offended as he holds his arms out. _“Shouldn’t you hug the person who wrote you all those notes?”_

“Do you remember Jongdae taking notes for us in that class?” Baekhyun giggles at the memory. 

“Do you remember what we were doing while he took those notes?” Chanyeol teases. 

“To be fair, it was one time.” 

“Well yeah, because it was terrible.” Chanyeol wraps his arms around Baekhyun and the textbook. They’re well-muscled instead of gangly now, and instead of the solutions to math homework, Chanyeol has a lucrative contract to work for a top tech company. But he still cherishes Baekhyun as much as he did two weeks into their relationship, when they got to work on lab projects together. Things have changed, this is true. But maybe that’s okay, Baekhyun thinks when Chanyeol kisses his cheek before taking the textbook from his hands and setting it on the arm of the sofa. He can get through whatever life chooses to throw at him. 

“After all,” Baekhyun says matter-of-factly to Chanyeol when he voices these thoughts after they finish packing up the book box. They’re curled up together on the couch, searching for apartments to book viewings for. “I spent five and a half years of university having shitty phone sex. I think I can handle finding the nearest grocery store.” Chanyeol laughs and ruffles his hair. 

ksoo hyung ♥♥♥

im in bottom 4

so nervous 

Don’t be. 

♥♥

Jongin exhales shakily and wrings his hands, pacing backstage as the last dancer finishes their performance. Jenna is leaning against the wall with the other girl who is up for elimination, watching Jongin walk back and forth and stare at Kyungsoo’s text messages.

ksoo hyung ♥♥♥

fuckfuckfuck

i dont know what to think 

Think about me 

… 

you’re the worst you know that

Am I? 

_Love you_

_No matter what_

“Alright, let’s go.” The director gives the cue, and Jongin drops his phone on the table to silently follow Fik-shun back out onto the stage. When he stops and turns to face the camera, Jongin looks out at the crowd, searching for the four dancers who are already safe for this week, standing at the very back of the filming stage. He wants to be part of that group so badly by the end of the night. 

“Judges, you’ve seen their performances for this week,” Cat announces. Nigel sighs quietly and clasps his hands together. 

“You know, Cat, this is always the worst part of the show,” Nigel narrates, and the audience murmurs their agreement. The judges turn their attention to the dancers on the stage, looking each of them in the eye. When Nigel’s gaze locks with Jongin’s, the dancer is pulled back to the very beginning of summer. Why does it seem like so long ago? He was so eager and innocent, charging into everything that the production team threw at him with young enthusiasm. Now, SYTYCD feels like a regular job to Jongin. He has matured and learned so much in the span of three short months. Surely, this isn’t the end of his journey. “It is so hard to let go of any of you,” Nigel says, looking genuinely regretful. “but even though two of you will be leaving today, we will see you very, very soon because of the tour.” Still, Jongin’s heart clenches. This goodbye is temporary, just as Nigel had said, but he so badly wants to stay another week and be given the opportunity to continue competing… “Kai,” Nigel says, “and Jenna.” Jongin is immediately alert. Could they both make it through? “I am sorry,” Nigel tells the two of them gravely, “but you will be leaving us tonight.” 

ksoo hyung ♥♥♥

It is okay

Sehun just tell me 

It is okay 

Call me when you done, okay? 

_Jagi, I love you_

_I’m so proud of you, you have no idea_

_I want to give you a big hug and a kiss_ ♥♥♥ 

_My shining star…_

Sehunnie 

s’okay jong

ur good right 

u did great 

Baek

I will eat the producer. 

Chanyeollie 

baek said hes going to eat the producer 

i’m rly proud of you, kai 

you did so fucking amazing 

you have so many people cheering you on ♥ so don’t be sad, okay? 

Jongdae 

Aishh you deserved to make it through… 

It’s okay though! You did amazing ^_^ 

We can all get dinner tmrw? :3 Let me know if you’re free!

Minseokkie-hyung 

Awww :( 

You did so well, Nini! 

<3

Eric 

bruh

dude 

I call bullshit

you were on fucking fire tonight

Mom 

Sweetheart, your father and I are so proud of you. 

You look so beautiful right now. 

Our little dancer, all grown up. 

Jongin doesn’t cry, and neither does Jenna, even when the four dancers on stage exchange hugs before Fik-shun and Hayley get to join the other safe dancers. He stands at Cat’s left side, Jenna on her right, and both of them smile bravely while Cat pulls them in. 

“What was your favorite moment of the show?” she asks Jenna. 

“Favorite moment… definitely meeting one of my greatest friends, Kai,” Jenna says, and exchanges a look with Jongin, who hopes that the emotion in his eyes is enough to express his love and gratitude. 

“What about you, Kai?” Cat turns to him. 

“Absolutely the same as Jenna, I’m so happy to have been able to meet her and all these amazing dancers on the show.” Jongin nods and waves at the dancers in the back. 

“Well, we’ve definitely enjoyed having you two here,” Cat tells both of them. “Let’s have a look at your best moments.” Everyone turns to the screen behind them, where a compilation of Jongin and Jenna’s backstage moments plays for them to watch. As they do, Jongin feels as if he lives through all of the experiences one more time. There’s him and Alan, doing their ridiculous tango in the middle of a crowd of dancers. Jenna, walking across the studio on her hands. Jongin feels tears spring to his eyes when Kenzie and Alan show up in a few of the clips; the four of them having been practically inseparable while filming. Everyone laughs when Jongin shows off his heart cheeks, and oh, they even included that one time Jongin brought the SHINee slogan from the Taemin birthday event to the studio… 

“We’ll see you two real soon for the tour,” Cat announces, and both dancers bow low to the audience as everyone else comes back up onto the stage. “Let’s hear it for Kai and Jenna one more time, come on folks.” Jongin claps along with the audience. There’s a wave of emotions threatening to burst through his smile at any moment, but he manages to hold it down until Cat finishes her final spiel, and they are all ushered backstage. 

The second the cameras are turned off though, Jongin bursts into tears, holding his arms out for Jenna, who buries her face in his shoulder. There’s a multitude of feelings swirling around in Jongin’s chest; regret, what-ifs, disappointment. The finality of the judge’s decision rocks him to the core. Just like that, it’s over. No more boring administrative meetings, no more gossiping in the dancer’s lounge with Jenna during breaks, no more frantic choreography and practice every week. He’s done, eliminated, gone. Weeks of hard work, sore muscles, and breakdowns all leading up to… this. 

Of course, a part of Jongin is absolutely crushed, but as he clings onto Jenna and sobs his heart out, it feels as if his tears are cathartic. Not all of his thoughts are negative. There’s a whole lot of love for the family of dancers that he has met on the show, and Jongin’s heart aches at the thought of not getting to continue with them. Their personalities, talents, and interactions are the only things that have made filming bearable some days. 

As Jongin accepts a tissue box from Hayley and blows his nose, he also feels lighter, like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. This elimination is the start of a new, exciting chapter of his life as well. SYTYCD was an experience unlike any other, Jongin thinks as he takes shuddering breaths and embraces the other six dancers who have safely made it through to next week; no matter what happens next, he knows that his future has never been so bright. 

He takes his time tonight, wiping the traces of makeup off his face, slowly changing out of his costume and back into street clothes. Jenna joins him silently when Jongin is flicking through his text messages, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes when he sees all the love and support from everybody. 

“When are you going home?” Jenna asks as Jongin looks up and slips his phone into his pocket. 

“In the next couple of days, I guess.” Jongin blinks his tears away for the moment. “You?” He holds his hand out to Jenna, who takes it and squeezes. 

“Same.” 

“What will you do next?” Jongin inquires. The two of them slowly wander down the hallways of the building, passing familiar rooms and posters, recalling memories made in between the walls. 

“I have a few more offers for other shows after the tour. Maybe I’ll go back to competitive ballroom.” Jenna smiles as Jongin pushes a door open and they step into an empty studio, the one where all twenty of them had choreographed their very first group performance together. “And you’re at MDC, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah.” Jongin’s heart flutters at the thought. “I’m going to teach, and see what comes my way.” 

“Hopefully your boyfriend,” Jenna murmurs. 

“We’ll make it work.” Jongin’s not sure where the confidence comes from tonight, but he’s feeling peaceful right now. Even though he has just been eliminated, it’s as if he has moved mountains with his bare hands. There is so much that he has yet to accomplish, but at this moment, Jongin simply accepts that he left everything out there on the stage tonight. He plugs his phone into the aux cord, and a slow waltz plays through the studio. Jongin extends his hand out to Jenna, whose eyes water with unshed, happy tears. Jongin’s throat aches with emotion, but he smiles nonetheless as he and Jenna turn across the room, making sure to stay light on their feet and keep their shoulders down. A single tear slides down Jongin’s cheek while she twirls gracefully away from him. 

“One last dance.” 

“Didn’t forget anything?” Jongdae inquires, peering around the empty condo. Sehun appears from the bedroom, pushing a suitcase towards the entrance. Jongin shakes his head. “Alrighty, let’s head out, then.” 

“I’m gonna miss sharing a bed with you,” Jongin tells Sehun wistfully as he locks the door. Sehun scoffs. 

“You mostly had it to yourself.” 

“This is true,” Jongin concedes. “Hey, did you tell Eric that we’re leaving? I ran into him this morning at MDC.” Sehun throws him a funny look. 

“Why would I tell him shit?” 

“Huh?” Jongin stares at him confusedly. “Haven’t you two been… hooking up for the whole summer?” 

“What about it?” Sehun heaves the suitcase into the back of Jongdae’s car. 

“I figured you would at least tell him you were leaving for good.” Jongin tosses his carry-on bag into the trunk as well. “He asked me when I’d be back, I told him two weeks. He seemed happy enough about that.” 

“Eh. He almost made me drown,” is Sehun’s non-answer. 

“I’m not even going to ask,” Jongdae murmurs as he starts the car. 

“Better not,” Sehun agrees. 

“Aish, I’m going to miss you,” Jongdae whines while he drives. Jongin taps away at his phone in the backseat. 

“I’ll miss you, too, hyung.” Sehun taps his fingers on his thigh, then exhales heavily. “Fuck, I don’t wanna go back.” 

“LA stole your heart?” Jongin asks absentmindedly. Jongdae beams at this. 

“Told you two it was great over here.” 

“Dunno. It’s going to be boring back home.” Sehun bites his lip in frustration. “Seems like everyone is running away from Boston. Even Baek and Chanyeol are moving here. I won’t have anyone to hang out with this school year.” At this, Jongin’s stomach twists with guilt. 

“Sehunnie,” Jongin pleads. “You’ll have Soo and Junmyeon-hyung when they move.” 

“Jong, you’re my best friend, not your boy toy.” Sehun studies his fingernails. 

“I’m really sorry, Sehunnie. I’m not running away from you.” Jongin fidgets in agitation. “I don’t want to be in LA without you, either,” he murmurs. “It’s only fun with you around.” 

“Well.” Sehun sighs. “At least it will only be one year.” Jongdae brakes a little too suddenly at the red light, and everyone jolts forward. 

“A year?” Jongdae’s voice is just as confused as Jongin’s thoughts. “Isn’t it your junior year? You still have two more years to go.” 

“Gonna graduate early,” Sehun says nonchalantly, as if he’s talking about the weather. Jongin suddenly feels like his head has been hit by a rock. 

“You--what,” Jongin says slowly. 

“Yeah, talked to my advisor, she said if I just took a few extra classes for the next two semesters, I’d be good to go. Damn, I knew taking that advanced shit in high school was gonna pay off.” Sehun runs a hand through his sleek black hair while Jongdae nearly careens off the road in surprise. 

“So you’re coming back here in a year? In… in MAY?” 

“If I can get into grad school here, yeah.” Sehun shrugs. 

“Grad school?” Jongdae yelps. 

“Yeah.” 

“SEHUN!” Jongin shrieks from the back, and kicks Sehun’s seat. 

“OW, Jong, what?” 

“Why didn’t I know this?” Jongin’s voice is positively as whiny as it gets. “You’re SMART?” 

“What the fuck kind of question was that?” Sehun turns to look at Jongin with an amused smile. “I just transferred a shit ton of credits from high school. All I need to do is finish my major requirements, which is doable this year.” 

“But--but--” Jongin is very betrayed. “So I’m the only dumb one in the friend group?” 

“You forgot Baek,” Jongdae and Sehun say at the same time. 

“He’s also smart! He just pretends not to be, like YOU!” Jongin pouts. 

“I mean, you also placed 8th in SYTYCD, so there is that,” Jongdae points out. “And you’re an MDC instructor at the ripe old age of 19. Not sure if you really need to have my IQ.” 

“Don’t flatter yourself, hyung, you’re only about as intelligent as Chanyeol,” Sehun warns. 

“I consider that very intelligent!” 

“Are you sure?” Sehun questions, and all three of them burst into laughter as Jongdae pulls up to the airport drop-off. 

“Aish, I’ll see you real soon, dancing machine.” Jongdae pulls Jongin into a tight hug. “And my Sehunnie,” the elder looks up at Sehun, who tries and miserably fails to stop his heart from doing happy backflips, “take care of yourself, and study hard. Come back to me soon, okay?” 

“Yes, hyung,” Sehun says quietly, wrapping his hands around Jongdae’s waist and squeezing tightly. What a hell of a summer it’s been, with bright, beautiful Jongdae right around the corner, just like he used to be back in Boston. More than ever, he’s dreading having to go back to the east coast, only to pine and study and be lonely. Jongdae’s hand brushes against Sehun’s wrist when he reluctantly pulls away, and his fingertips graze the leather of the omnipresent bracelet that he gave him. The elder’s eyes are soft when he looks up at Sehun. 

“Do you like it?” Jongdae whispers. 

“I never take it off.” Sehun’s gaze locks onto Jongdae’s lips. A good-bye kiss is within his reach, but then Jongdae steps back, and Jongin checks his phone for the time. 

“We should get moving,” Jongin says worriedly. “We’re already a little late.” 

“Alright.” Jongdae waves at the two of them. “Have a safe trip! Text me when you land.” 

“I’ll see you soon, Dae,” Jongin promises. Sehun waves, and Jongdae blows him a kiss. He hesitates for only a second before he pretends to catch it and place it in his pocket. The beaming smile on Jongdae’s face is Sehun’s last view of Los Angeles before he walks into the airport behind Jongin. 

“Mom,” Jongin’s tears are already overflowing when he drops his suitcase and goes flying into his mother’s arms. Marie holds her son tightly, patting him on the back as he sobs with happiness and relief. “Mom, mom.” Beside them, Sam claps Sehun on the back and pulls him into a one-armed hug. 

“Good to have you back.” Sam smiles at Sehun. 

“Thanks for coming to pick us up.” Both of them glance at Jongin, who shudders as he tries to get himself under control. 

“You did so well,” Marie murmurs gently. Her words, along with the scent of lemon that wafts around her, are the most precious thing in the world to Jongin right now. “So well, sweetheart. Welcome home.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after falling off the face of the earth for 2.5 months, A World With You is finally back \\(^o^)/ Hope everyone had happy holidays and a good new year! Thank you for waiting so patiently for the update; Aranee and I really missed writing this AU ;-; I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter~ We're wrapping this arc up soon, everything is beginning to fall into place... but that's not to say that there won't be more :3  
>  Good job to Nini for doing SO WELL at SYTYCD ^_^ everyone is very proud of him! We'll see where life takes him, Ksoo, and everyone else next.  
>  As always, thank you for reading, commenting, loving this AU, and sticking around for all 185k (and counting) words, it means EVERYTHING to Aranee and me. We will be back really, really soon with more adventures. <3
> 
> Who else needs a tight Marie hug right now? Wouldn't that be awesome? Or rather a Jongdae goodbye kiss? ;)
> 
> Thank you for patiently waiting, we were busy writing for a winter themed fest. Guessing started today, maybe you have read our entry and know already? ;D For everyone else, check out the fest, there are some really good stories there: <https://twitter.com/exoonicefest>
> 
> Let us know what you think of the chapter. What do you think will happen next? So many stories still to tell, even if this arc is slowly starting to wrap up. The next arc is already planned out ;).
> 
> See you soon <3.


	27. surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Italic_ dialogue is Korean.

“I don’t need any of this.” Jongin bursts into laughter as he and his mother peer inside his closet at all of his winter clothing for the frigid months in Boston. “Really, it’s just going to take up space that I don’t have.” 

“You should pack light,” Marie says thoughtfully. “Leave anything that you don’t need and build on it as you settle down.” 

“This is so weird,” Jongin murmurs as he picks out clothes and hands them to his mother. “I can’t believe I’m moving. Like  _ moving  _ moving.” 

“However weird it is for you, trust me, it’s even crazier for us.” Sam rolls two more large suitcases into Jongin’s room. 

“You didn’t even budge for college.” Marie folds Jongin’s clothes up to save room in his luggage. “And now here you are, leaving us in a week.” 

“It hasn’t settled in for me yet.” Jongin fumbles with a plastic bag tucked into the corner of his closet curiously, and peeks inside it to find a few shirts that he must have bought, but completely forgotten about. He pulls one out and appraises it carefully. “That I’m really taking flight, I guess.” 

“Sam and I are very, very proud of you, sweetheart. But it feels very sudden; I’m so used to watching you grow up next to me slowly, coming home from school and the studio everyday. But when you came back after elimination, I felt as if you had matured so suddenly.” 

“Really?” Jongin adds the shirt to the growing pile of clothing. “It feels surreal to me, too. Almost like I can’t believe this is happening to me, even though I’m excited.” He begins collecting clothes hangers. “And nervous.” 

“You’ve become a handsome, talented young man. And I knew that eventually, you would move out and start your own life.” Marie’s voice is soft and tender. “But it’s still very hard to let you go.” 

“Mom, please don’t cry, this is already going to be my second time in two days.” Jongin blinks rapidly. “Kenzie kept calling me a crybaby on the show because I would cry whenever anyone else cried.” 

“Kenzie would be right.” Sam chuckles. “You’ve always been a softie.” 

“I told her that when we go on tour, we’ll stop by home for dinner,” Jongin mentions. “Her and Jenna, since we all made it.” 

“Please drop by whenever you want, Kai. This will always be your home, even at 3:00 in the morning during the middle of a blizzard.” Marie smiles. “She seems like such a sweet girl. I’m excited to see you on tour.” 

“I’m excited to GO on tour. Jenna and I are going to share an AirBnB together until it kicks off to save some money. It’ll be so fun.” Jongin’s heart quickens at the thought of being reunited with his SYTYCD family. “Oh, speaking of which, I need to watch this week’s episode on Saturday.” 

“Sam and I watched every week with Sehun’s parents. The first few episodes were nerve wracking, but we were able to enjoy it more and more as the summer went on.” 

“Your mother could barely sleep after each episode because of the nerves,” Sam informs Jongin.

“Mommm.” Jongin rolls his eyes, even though he laughs. “And I thought I was terrified while filming.” 

“I could see your every reaction on stage, Kai. That was nerve-wracking for me. Even at your showcases, I get nervous.” Marie folds a pair of jeans neatly. 

“I’m glad you could. I would have quit so many times over if you hadn’t talked me out of it.” Jongin swallows hard. “It was really difficult, being on my own. Sehun and Jongdae helped, but it’s still… it’s just not like being at home. Dad, please be careful with that.” He watches apprehensively as one out of four SHINee posters on his wall gets taken down. “Don’t rip it.” 

“Who’s this?” 

“Choi Minho.” 

“Who’s this?” 

“That’s Lee Taemin.” 

“Is he the one you like so much?” Jongin nods. 

“Stan SHINee.” 

“Maybe one day I really will look into this ‘SHINee’ of yours.” Sam chuckles. “We searched your name a lot on the internet as well. I see it’s a catchphrase of yours.” 

“Not really,” Jongin murmurs. “It’s…. well… people know I’m a fan. They probably would have found out if I didn’t say anything--I cover their comebacks and post about them all the time.”

“It’s good to have a role model,” Marie comments. 

“Right? I like being able to say that I look up to Taeminnie.” Jongin stands up and arches back. “I think that’s enough. LA has the best fashion trends, I just know all my regrettable financial decisions are going to be on clothes.” 

“Better than some other options.” Sam carefully takes down the last poster without a scratch. “There you go.” 

“We need to go shopping for a few essentials that you might need before you leave,” Marie notes, still folding the last of Jongin’s pants. 

“Okay. I don’t really know what to pack, so I’ll just listen to you,” Jongin agrees. 

“I’m proud to call you my son,” Marie speaks suddenly, and when she looks up at Jongin, her eyes are full of a mother’s love. Jongin’s eyes well up so fast that he can’t control himself, and he pouts. 

“I was doing  _ so good, _ mom.” 

“I love you.” Marie pushes herself to her feet and pulls Jongin into her arms. “Do well, sweetheart. Be brave and strong like you always are.” Sam pats both of their backs soothingly. 

“Ahh,” Jongin complains, burying his face into his mother’s shirt. “I love you s-so much; mom, dad. ” He sniffles. “Thank you f-for everything you do…” More sniffling, more tears. “I’m g-going to flood this house before I leave.” 

Later that afternoon, Marie looks up and smiles at her son when Jongin gives her a wave. 

“Filming?” 

“Yep. I’ll be back soon!” Jongin grabs his keys and heads out the door. The drive is so easy for him; it’s one that he’s made a thousand times, but there are nervous butterflies in the pit of his stomach as he parks in his usual spot in front of the dance studio and pulls the door open. 

“Look who’s back!” Every familiar face--dancers, instructors, even the receptionist--erupts into cheers and applause while Jongin smiles and ducks his head shyly. It feels so good to be home. He takes his time greeting his old teachers, sneaking into ongoing classes and waving to the groups of kids that jump excitedly up and down upon seeing ‘dancing machine Kai’. Of course, he gets asked to lead a few exercises just for fun. Jongin promises to be around for the entire week as he collects his equipment and claims an empty studio to record his ‘Boys Meet U’ SHINee cover. Throughout his session, there are more than a few interested eyes peeking through the window at him, but Jongin is so immersed in recording a perfect cover that he doesn’t mind. His lines are sharper and more precise. He exudes power and control. While looking at his own reflection, Jongin is struck by how his presence expands and contracts with his movements in the small studio. He carries himself differently now, almost like a whole new dancer. It’s mesmerizing to observe his own improvement, especially because it was only the beginning of this year when he first made it to Las Vegas. 

“Thank you!” He waves to the friendly receptionist when he wraps up recording smoothly. 

“Will we see you tomorrow?” she inquires. 

“Yeah, I’ll be around for the entire week. I’ll definitely drop in.” Jongin smiles. 

He’s obviously not expecting anything when he arrives home, so when he opens the door to be greeted by handfuls of confetti and colorful streamers hung up around the house, he shrieks and nearly drops his camera. 

“SURPRISE!” Jongin’s jaw drops in shock as he’s greeted by Sehun, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol. Minseok waves happily from the corner. Even Sehun’s parents are standing next to his own, who beam at him along with everyone who means something to the dancer, and who he hasn’t seen since he left at the beginning of summer. 

“What is this?” Jongin whispers, feeling a lump in his throat start to form. 

“Nini,” a familiar voice says, and Jongin nearly has a second heart attack as he whirls around. 

“Ah, sorry, he couldn’t make it in person this time.” Sehun chuckles at Jongin’s instinctive reaction. “He’s here though, if you want to say hi.” He motions to the laptop that Jongin hadn’t even noticed, sitting on the table. Kyungsoo waves from the ongoing video call and blows him a kiss. 

_ “Hi, sweetheart.”  _ That does it. Jongin’s lower lip trembles and he bursts into tears. 

“Why do you always cry whenever something happens?” Baekhyun complains above the din of good-natured laughter and conversation. Jongin covers his mouth with one hand and blinks rapidly as his mother embraces him tightly. 

“Someone take that camera before he drops it,” Sam chuckles, and Jongin cries harder. It’s been too long, he’s missed everyone too much. 

“Did you think we were just going to let you place in the Top 8 at SYTYCD, land a new job at THE Millenium Dance Complex, and drop out of undergrad without some confetti?” Baekhyun pokes Jongin’s shoulder while Chanyeol wraps Jongin up in a rib-crushing hug. 

“M’n-not dropping out,” Jongin chokes. 

“You better not be, young man.” Marie ruffles his hair when Chanyeol lets go. “We’re so proud of you, honey.” 

“I hate surprises,” Jongin whines, wiping his tears away with a shaky smile. “T-thank you so much.” 

“We have cake.” Minseok smiles. “Cake is always a good idea.” 

“Cake!” Baekhyun claps in agreement. “Let’s do cake first.” Jongin nods and blows a salty, wet kiss to Kyungsoo, who is still laughing at his boyfriend’s semi-meltdown. Jongin catches up with everyone, gives a lot of hugs, and almost cries again at least twice. He and Sehun end up throwing grapes in the air to try and catch in their mouths, and Sam shakes his head in bewilderment when they erupt into elated cheering after Jongin finally succeeds.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is America’s dancing machine.” Jongin nearly chokes on the next grape. Minseok chatters away to Kyungsoo on the couch, chuckling when the dancer launches himself over the furniture piece and gives him a big hug. 

“Hyung, I missed you.” 

“Welcome back, Nini.” Minseok ruffles Jongin’s hair proudly, then both of them smile at Kyungsoo, who pouts. 

_ “I’m jealous.”  _

“Come back soon, then.” Jongin pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his head on them. 

“I will.” 

“Ksoo, my man, what’s popping?” Baekhyun slides into frame, dragging Chanyeol with him. “How’s your thesis going?” 

_ “I’m actually about to rip it up, let’s please not talk about it.”  _ Kyungsoo scowls. 

“Cheery as ever, I see. Kai, are you aware that you are dating a literal elf?”

“A WHAT?” Jongin pouts as Minseok collapses into giggles.

_ “What did you just call me?”  _

_ “He’s only being this brave because we’ll be in LA by the time you come back,” _ Chanyeol informs Kyungsoo.  _ “He knows you can’t beat him up then.”  _

_ “Watch me.”  _ Kyungsoo narrows his eyes good naturedly at Baekhyun. 

“He’s already promised to visit me a million times,” Jongin informs Baekhyun. “A billion times. Right, Soo?” 

_ “When? I never said that.”  _

“Hyung!” Jongin complains. “You said so!” 

_ “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  _ Kyungsoo laughs and shrugs innocently.  _ “Why would I visit you?”  _

“Ouchhh. It’s okay, Kai. Men are temporary.” Baekhyun pats the dancer’s shoulder.

“Speaking of LA, aren’t you going over there soon?” Sehun asks Chanyeol. 

“Yeah, end of this week for apartment viewings.” 

_ “Oh?”  _ Kyungsoo’s bushy eyebrows lift up on his forehead.  _ “I wish you luck with that.”  _

_ “Yeah, thanks. Kind of a rushed decision, but we gotta find somewhere to live.”  _ Chanyeol throws him a thumbs up. “And this boy will be there soon as well, won’t you?” He claps Jongin on the shoulder. “MDC’s newest instructor and poster boy.” 

“I practiced there a lot.” Jongin murmurs, ducking his head shyly. 

“Kai,” Baekhyun reprimands. “I’m going to slap you.” 

“WHY?” 

“Don’t be so modest. Have some confidence for once.” 

“Well, it’s true.” Jongin mumbles, even though his cheeks warm at the praise. 

“Jong, you know someone made a performance compilation of you on the show?” Sehun asks absentmindedly, scrolling through his phone. 

“Ye--NO, wait what?” Jongin leans over to see. “Oh my God, that’s embarrassing.” 

“Why? You did good. I’m showing this to your parents. We’re gonna watch this.” Sehun smirks.

“NO, WE’RE NOT!” Jongin is already blushing. “No, no, some of those are NOT family appropriate.” 

“Yes, yes, and yes.” Kyungsoo claps in approval and Jongin glares at him while Sehun gets up to show Sam and Marie. 

“I’ll pull it up on the TV.” Sam agrees immediately. Jongin shrieks into a pillow in embarrassment as Chanyeol and Minseok burst into laughter. 

“Oh, they even included your audition!” Sehun cackles while everyone gathers in the living room to watch.

“Oh my God, I was so bad back then! NO!” 

Boston weather is still warm in late August, but compared to the dry, incessant heat of Los Angeles, it’s a cool, breezy day that hints at autumn already. Today might be the first time since May that Sehun has touched a pair of jeans. He eats an underwhelming breakfast of iced coffee, half-heartedly throws his backpack together, and replies to Jongin’s text that is well-intentioned, but still sort of stings. 

Jong 

last fdoc !!!!

<33

fuck me

least u have good professors :/ 

i’d rather have no prof

facts, im sorry.

Being back on campus feels foreign to Sehun. Over the summer, far away from home, it felt as if he had already graduated; now, he is pulled back to the reality of college life. At least it’s only one more year. Sehun helps more than one lost freshman find their way to classes while slowly meandering to his own and taking half-hearted notes during lecture. First days are dull. In preparation for his heavy workload for early graduation and out of sheer boredom, Sehun had already self-learned a lot of the curriculum over the summer. After a few days, he’s sure that he’ll start feeling the pressure to keep up with his classes for his last two semesters, but for now, he intends to slowly slip back into student mode. He’s walking along the path that takes him out of the main part of campus and towards his next class when someone catches his eye, mostly from his peripheral. The boy is sitting at a picnic table with a familiar-looking group of friends, cupping his cheek in his hand and smiling at something. Sehun stops, hands still tucked into the pockets of his jeans, and simply stands at the edge of the pathway, watching him fondly. One of his friends notices Sehun first; he looks up, then taps the boy’s shoulder. Sehun remains still and silent as the boy finally sees him, and his eyes widen in surprise. 

“Sehun?” He observes Hui ask from a distance, already standing up from his seat. Sehun tilts his head to the side, letting the cool breeze blow his hair out of his eyes. Hui comes running up to Sehun, already laughing happily when he throws his arms around Sehun’s waist. “Sehun!” 

“Hey, kid.” Sehun ruffles Hui’s hair a few times. Their gazes meet, and he can see Hui assessing him, taking in Sehun’s light tan, his broad shoulders, and soft, dark brown hair, which could use a haircut. 

“You’re back!” Hui steps away from the hug and bounces up and down on the balls of his feet. “Why didn’t you tell me? How was LA? Was it fun? I watched the show, but somehow, I kinda forgot you were there because of Kai. Did he come back with you? How was your summer? Mine was great, I got an internship--” Sehun struggles to hide his amusement as Hui’s questions come flying at him without leaving any time for answers. He had forgotten how much the kid talked. “I kinda missed you,” Hui finishes when he finally runs out of breath. 

“I missed you a little, too.” Sehun reaches out to pat him on the head, smirking when Hui giggles. 

“Let’s hang out and catch up! Do you have any plans for lunch?” Hui asks enthusiastically. “You gotta tell me all about LA. I’ve always wanted to visit. Wow, you look so good, Sehun. You got a tan.” 

“And almost drowned,” Sehun mutters under his breath. 

“Woah, you need to tell me that story.” 

“It involves an asshole and a blowjob.” 

“Oh, that sounds like loads of fun. You should let me blow you while you tell me about it.” Sehun lets Hui wrap his arms around his waist again. Right; he’s clingy, too. It’s fine. Sehun chuckles. 

“Sounds good, but I have another class in 20, kid.” 

“Oh, okay. Text me, then. I’m down for whatever you wanna do.” Hui looks up at him hopefully. “Kiss me before you leave?” Sehun cracks; his eyes soften and he loosens up. 

“Shit, kid, I forgot how cute you were.”

_ “Hi, hyung,”  _ Jongin murmurs shyly as he approaches Minseok at their usual spot in the library. 

_ “Nini, you’re here.”  _ Minseok smiles when Jongin sits down next to him.  _ “How have you been these past few days?”  _

_ “Good. I, uhh…”  _ Jongin fidgets nervously as he tries to arrange Korean in his head before saying it out loud.  _ “Have… no school, so… I ask about learn more Korean.  _ Even if it’s just for a week.” Jongin finishes his explanation in English, having run out of vocabulary. 

_ “Yes, y _ es,  _ of course. I’m more than happy to tutor you.”  _ Minseok pulls a textbook out from his bag.  _ “Or actually, maybe we can just start by catching up?”  _

_ “I know what you say more than I can say.”  _ Jongin bites his lip. 

_ “You understand more than you can speak?”  _

_ “Yes. Read is okay, too. Because Kyungsoo-hyung.”  _

_ “Well, that’s why I’m here, so we can get your speaking up to par.”  _ Minseok’s smile is warm and patient.  _ “How have you been? You seemed happy at your party.”  _

_ “Was surprise,”  _ Jongin admits.  _ “But really happy, yeah. I am good. Dance some.” _

_ “I bet you’re also busy with packing, huh?”  _

_ “Yes.”  _ Jongin agrees.  _ “Not…  _ ugh. I’m not bringing too much luggage, but it’s still a lot to organize.” He wrinkles his nose in frustration while Minseok deconstructs the sentence for him in Korean. 

_ “It’s okay, Nini. We’ll talk slowly. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you. How’s Kyungsoo doing?”  _

_ “Oh… he is busy.”  _ Jongin sighs.  _ “He said…  _ uh, how do you say ‘thesis?’” Minseok tells him.  _ “He said he have write thesis again.”  _

_ “Like rewrite it?”  _ Minseok’s eyes widen in concern. 

_“Yes, so he busy. But not all, I think._ _Just part.”_

_ “Ah, that’s not good…”  _ Minseok’s sigh is one of sympathy.  _ “I hope he won’t be too stressed by that.”  _

_ “Want to see him,”  _ Jongin says softly.  _ “I miss him.”  _

_ “Won’t you see each other when he comes to the States?”  _

_ “No.”  _ Jongin cups his cheek sadly.  _ “He is here. I am gone.”  _

_ “Ohhh, I see. I’m sorry, Nini.”  _ Minseok pats his hand gently.  _ “I’m sure he’ll visit you though, right? After all, Boston to LA is a hassle, but still much more convenient than South Korea to LA.”  _

_ “Hope so.”  _ Jongin drums his fingers absentmindedly on the table.  _ “I want him… be happy. Not tired. He is so busy.”  _

_ “Kyungsoo is a very hard worker, and he is a smart young man. I’m sure that he’ll take care of himself. From what I’ve heard, Junmyeon is also a very good influence,”  _ Minseok reassures Jongin.  _ “Don’t worry too much, Nini. He’s proud of you. He loves you a lot.”  _

_ “I know.”  _ Jongin’s lips curve upwards bravely. 

_ “Tell me about LA,”  _ Minseok requests.  _ “I’m sure you have lots of amazing memories from filming and MDC.”  _ At this, Jongin lights up. 

_ “I do, hyung. It was so fun.” _

“Be good for me, okay?” Chanyeol strokes Baekhyun’s hair softly while the elder clings to him at the airport entrance. “Spend some time with Jongin before he has to leave. Keep each other company.” 

“You gonna be okay on that airplane all on your own?” Baekhyun’s tone is teasing, but his eyes are puppylike as he stares up at his fiance. 

“You know I wish you were coming with me.” Chanyeol laughs softly. 

“Give Jongdae my love.” 

“I will.” 

“Let me know if you find a nice apartment.” 

“Of course.” Chanyeol presses his lips to Baekhyun’s forehead. “Come here, give me a kiss.” Baekhyun tiptoes upwards. “I’ll see you soon, Baek.” 

“Bye bye.” Baekhyun waves as Chanyeol pulls the handle of his suitcase up. “Be safe. Text me when you board.” Chanyeol gives him a soft, dimpled smile before he walks away. Baekhyun watches his fiance go, then turns to head back to his half-packed apartment. Not five minutes later though, a text pops up from Sehun. 

Baekhyun's dumbasses

Hunclub tonight. 

oh lit

kai drives

Hunyes 

Kaihuhhhhh i was going to practice

Hunclub tonight. 

club tonight.

Kaiwait

Hun10pm 

cya

KaiWAIT

“Okay, fuck, show us all up, why don’t you,” Baekhyun grumbles when Jongin steps out of the car looking like he’s ready to walk a runway. 

“Neither Sehun nor you like dressing up, don’t blame me.” Jongin shrugs and saunters into the club with all the grace of a SYTYCD Top 8 finisher. 

“This is facts,” Baekhyun concedes, following a silent Sehun in. “Yah, Sehunnie, where’s Hui?” 

“He has homework.” 

“So don’t YOU also have homework?” 

“What the fuck is homework?” Sehun smirks. 

“How on earth are you graduating early?” Baekhyun asks loudly over the heavy bass. “Out of all people?” 

“Fuck if I know,” Sehun yells back. “I don’t even know how I got into college.” 

“Okay, same.” Baekhyun lurches in surprise as Jongin reappears and latches onto his arm. 

“Hyung, hide me, I’m getting hit on.” 

“How are you going to look like a whole ass snack and then expect people to not want to tap that?” Baekhyun reaches over and pats Jongin’s butt. 

“Are we trying to get drunk first or dance first?” Sehun inquires. 

“I am only dancing,” Jongin announces. 

“Yeah, we established that. Well, I suppose we should save the best for last.” Baekhyun loops his arm around Jongin’s waist, extends his other hand out to Sehun, and drags them both towards the dance floor. It’s loud, dark, and crowded--the perfect combination for Baekhyun to forget about his worries, Jongin to relax with friends, and Sehun to look for prey. 

“So homework just isn’t a thing in undergrad anymore?” Baekhyun asks Jongin when Sehun spots someone and disappears. 

“I’ve never seen him do homework in my life, I have no idea how he passes classes,” Jongin giggles between body rolls. 

“Me neither! Mysteries of life.” Baekhyun sighs dramatically. “Let’s get drunk.” 

“I don’t--” 

“I’m getting drunk.” 

“Wait, wait, let me get some pictures for Yeollie before you get plastered.” Jongin latches on to the back of Baekhyun’s shirt. “You look so cute, hyung.” Jongin beams. 

“Your turn. Poor Soo,” Baekhyun giggles when Jongin turns his bedroom eyes on. “He’s missing out on so much. Well, there’s long distance for you. Chanyeol used to get soooo frustrated if I teased him,” Baekhyun smirks as he and Jongin perch on barstools. “It’s fun to get him riled up. Ksoo’s whipped for you, he’d probably be feral within seconds if you were a little shameless.” 

“Mmmh,” Jongin hums absentmindedly, flicking through pictures to send to Kyungsoo while Baekhyun picks his poison. 

ksoo hyung ♥♥♥ 

img.8812

miss u~

“You’re so innocent,” Baekhyun chuckles at Jongin’s text. “You have to at least send him a wink or something.” 

“He’s so stressed these days.” Jongin waits a few minutes for a reply, but he doesn’t receive one. Figures. 

“Sex is good for stress.” 

“Mhm,” Jongin nods, watching Baekhyun drink. “Take it easy, it doesn't take much to get you drunk.” He’s right. Baekhyun’s semi-incoherent and stumbling by the end of the night, clinging onto Jongin and biting his arms through the sleeve of his crop top affectionately. 

“I missed youuuu,” Baekhyun coos, patting Jongin’s cheeks happily. 

“I missed you, too,” Jongin giggles, wrapping an arm around Baekhyun’s waist to keep him steady. “Shall we call it a night then?” 

“Night night,” Baekhyun echoes mindlessly, a ridiculous grin plastered across his face. “Good night.” Jongin texts Sehun to let him know that he is loved, then half pushes, half coaxes Baekhyun into the car. He’s missed this, Jongin thinks to himself as he carries Baekhyun up the stairs to his apartment and tucks him into bed. Things will be different soon, with everyone pursuing their new beginnings. Jongin supposes that they may as well have fun together while they still can, before everyone gets separated for at least a year. 

“The man, the myth, the legend.” Jongdae holds his arms out and beams at Chanyeol. “Only one in my heart.” 

“Kim Jongdae, you don’t fool me. That referral bonus is the glue holding our friendship together at this point.” Chanyeol’s smile is still as wide as it gets when he leans into the hug. “How are you?” 

“Great now that you’re here.” 

“Save it for Seojun,” Chanyeol dismisses. Jongdae only smiles and reaches for Chanyeol’s suitcase. “Thanks for letting me crash at yours, though.” 

“Of course. What are friends for?” Jongdae walks around to the driver’s side as Chanyeol ducks into the car. 

“Does Seojun mind?” 

“You’re fine.” Jongdae shrugs. Chanyeol looks at him thoughtfully, but the elder busies himself with turning the volume down on the radio. “How’s everyone back home? Kai and Sehunnie doing alright? Baek?” 

“Yep, we had a small ‘welcome back’ gathering for Kai on Monday. Sehun’s so pissed about uni that he’s acing his classes. He, uh, got back together with Hui.” 

“Yeah, he told me.” Jongdae chuckles. “Always a charmer.” 

“Totally. And Baek’s good. Still a little sad at times.” Chanyeol’s brows furrow as he texts his fiance. “But he’s doing better. I think doing things together helps, so I’m a little… worried, but should be alright, since he has Sehun and Kai for the time being.” 

“He’ll be okay.” Jongdae nods. “He’ll warm up to the idea eventually.” 

“Yeah, of course. I just hope we’ll have somewhere to live.” Chanyeol heaves a sigh as he looks out of the window to observe Baekhyun’s and his future hometown. “Finding an apartment in two weeks. I’ve never felt so chaotic in my life. Thanks for agreeing to tag along, by the way. I really do appreciate it.” 

“It’s my pleasure. Four eyes see more than two.” 

“How are you doing?” Chanyeol turns to watch Jongdae drive. 

“I’ve been busy with work. That’s really it these days.” 

“How are you and Seojun, then?” Chanyeol asks. “Where’s the work-life balance?” 

“Apartment hunting is work-life balance.” Jongdae smirks. “Also, I can show you around town, too. So you can impress Baek with the food and sightseeing when you move.” Chanyeol observes him quietly for a minute, then nods. 

“Sounds good. I’m going to have to be very convincing.” 

There are a couple of text messages from Kyungsoo waiting for Jongin when he slips into the quiet house and shuts the door to his room.

ksoo hyung ♥♥♥ 

_ fuck _

callm e

A pleasant warmth spreads in Jongin’s chest when he reads those words. He can practically sense Kyungsoo’s need behind the screen, and it makes him feel very loved, very wanted. He finds another picture--crop top hanging off of one shoulder, a tan collarbone highlighted with neon lights--and sends it over. 

ksoo hyung ♥♥♥ 

img.8813

i think this one is cute too, dont u think 

Incoming video call. Jongin giggles and reaches for his earbuds before accepting it. Unlike what Baekhyun thinks, innocence is as good of a tease as any. Kyungsoo appears on screen, one hand covering half of his face, apparently seated at his desk in front of his computer. He blinks slowly at Jongin, who waves and blows a kiss. 

“Wanted…” His words are slurred. Jongin’s heart jumps, then drops into the pit of his stomach. “See you.” 

“Hyung.” Jongin’s brows furrow worriedly. “Are you drunk?” Kyungsoo nods and rubs his eyes. There are deep, dark circles under them, and the elder looks worryingly thin and pale. “Babe, have you been getting enough sleep? Are you eating?” At this, his boyfriend lets out a short, sardonic laugh. 

_ “Nini bear.”  _ Fuck, his voice is so deep.  _ “S’been… 34 fucking hours… since I’ve slept.”  _

“Hyung.” Jongin’s eyes widen in shock and concern. “Babe, you can’t do that to yourself. You need to get enough rest.” 

_ “Who made you so… soooo--so cute…”  _ Kyungsoo ignores Jongin’s reprimand, eyes glued to his laptop screen, where Jongin looks at him with devastatingly big eyes and pouty lips.  _ “My baby… best baby.”  _

“Why are you drunk in the middle of the day?” Jongin’s tone pitches up with a whine, even though the praise makes him shiver. Despite his exhausted appearance, Kyungsoo still looks hot. He stares at Jongin hungrily through half-lidded eyes, watching him carefully with a half smirk that makes the dancer restless. 

_ “Stayed up all night again… rewriting that stupid thesis.”  _

“Did you make progress?” 

_ “M’finally fucking done.”  _ Kyungsoo heaves a long, relieved sigh.  _ “Then Junmyeonnie hyung said alcohol was a better celebratory choice than caffeine.”  _ Kyungsoo licks his lips and tilts his head to the side, still appraising the glittery highlight on Jongin’s cheekbone.  _ “I have to agree.”  _

“You should sleep,” Jongin says softly, laying down on his bed and letting his crop top slide off of one shoulder. “You need rest. You’re drunk.” 

_ “Baby.”  _ Kyungsoo draws the word out slowly, dangerously. Jongin’s lips part slightly and he shivers, pliant.  _ “You don’t get to tease me and get away with it.”  _ Jongin’s dick twitches in the confines of his skinny jeans at the suggestive tone of his voice.  _ “Strip for me.”  _

“Fuck, my parents are sleeping,” Jongin murmurs, sitting up and propping his phone against the headboard and his pillows before situating himself in front of the camera, pushing his duvet away as he does so. 

_ “Strip.”  _ Kyungsoo leans his cheek against his hand and raises his eyebrows.

“Oh, fuck. Okay.” Jongin shudders before pulling his flimsy top off and over his head. Kyungsoo inhales deeply in appreciation while Jongin fumbles with his tight jeans. 

_ “I’m gonna fucking ruin you.”  _ The elder’s right hand drifts below the table and squeezes his dick over the confines of his sweatpants.  _ “Gonna make you spread yourself out for me in front of the camera and play with your own hole.”  _ Jongin lets out a soft cry at this, whining in both embarrassment and arousal as he peels the denim off of his thighs. 

“Hyung,” he whispers. The mic barely picks up on his voice, and Jongin’s cheeks are stained pink as he kneels in front of his phone so Kyungsoo can see his twitching erection, slowly filling out as the elder stares at him hungrily. 

_ “So fucking pretty, my God…”  _ Kyungsoo hisses as Jongin runs a shy hand down his abs and teases the tip of his dick lightly. He can barely form coherent thoughts right now, but the one clear thought in his mind is Jongin, pressing his thumb into his slit and wetting his lips with a flick of his tongue. Kyungsoo feels dizzy.  _ “Turn around.”  _

“I--” Jongin blushes all over; his cheeks, his chest, his neck. Kyungsoo groans when his boyfriend presents his ass to the camera, round and firm, accentuated by the long arch in Jongin’s back. The younger might play innocent, but Kyungsoo’s reaction makes him preen, and he wiggles his hips back and forth to hear his boyfriend curse quietly. The elder’s dick is so hard that it hurts. 

_ “Go…”  _ Kyungsoo has to force himself to breathe.  _ “Go get… the pretty wand I bought you.”  _

“The pearl aqua one?” Jongin whispers, panting softly at the very thought of it. 

_ “Yes, since you like… Lee fucking Taemin so much.”  _ Jongin giggles at the jealousy in Kyungsoo’s voice. 

“You get so greedy when you’re drunk,” Jongin murmurs, still teasing Kyungsoo as he moves to get his box of toys. Baekhyun’s right. It’s fun to hear all of his boyfriend’s visceral reactions, all the while knowing that he is the cause. Kyungsoo’s breathing is heavy, as if he’s already started masturbating. “Are you touching yourself?” Jongin asks shyly. 

_ “Mmmm. Hurry up.” _

“I gotta find the lube, wait.” Jongin eyes the pearl aqua anal wand with its six beads, each subsequent one larger than the previous. He imagines pressing them in one at a time, each of them slowly filling him up more and more while Kyungsoo watches. A shiver runs through his body, and his dick twitches eagerly. 

_ “Nini. What are you doing?”  _ Kyungsoo’s voice is tinged with impatience. 

“Imagining.” Jongin lets out a small whimper, just for the sake of it. 

_ “Get back here.”  _ Kyungsoo’s tone brokers no room for argument. Jongin obeys, settling back into frame with the toy and lube in his hand.  _ “Turn around, spread yourself out for me. Shit.”  _ Kyungsoo’s voice is so low and husky that Jongin can barely understand him as he holds himself open, letting the elder take in the sight of his little hole.  _ “Good boy.”  _

“Oh.” The praise makes Jongin shudder and sink into his bedsheets. He fumbles for the bottle of lube and shakily squeezes some onto his fingers without prompting from Kyungsoo, then hisses as he spreads the cold liquid around his rim. “Hyung, I’m really sensitive,” he whispers, rubbing the pad of his index finger against his hole. The sensation makes him clench. “M’really tight, too.” Jongin buries his face into the sheets to muffle his whine when he pushes his finger in. Kyungsoo lets out a string of expletives and bucks into his fist. 

_ “Two fingers, Nini, stretch yourself out.”  _

“Wait,” Jongin pants, already feeling overwhelmed. It’s been a while since they’ve actually had the time to have slow, teasing sex, usually opting for dirty talk and touching dicks to come as quickly as possible. He’s missed this. 

_ “Baby boy, I know your greedy hole can take two,”  _ Kyungsoo murmurs. He wouldn’t look away from the screen for a million dollars.  _ “Show me how good you are.”  _

“Fuck--okay. Okay.” Jongin gasps and arches delightfully when he adds his middle finger. The initial stretch drags along his rim, and he has to swallow back his moans lest he wake his parents up. “Hyung…” he whimpers, listening to the sloppy sound of Kyungsoo fisting his dick, unable to control himself. “It’s not enough.” Jongin’s face heats up as he fucks his fingers into his hole, but it’s a weird angle, and his pleasure-glazed mind only wants more, more, more. 

_ “Use your toy then, baby. Fuck, you’re gonna feel so good, gonna look so gorgeous all stretched open.”  _ Kyungsoo forces his hand to stop when he feels pressure prematurely building in his gut, even though every instinct screams for him to speed up. 

“Don’t come yet,” Jongin pleads, and this does absolutely nothing to help calm Kyungsoo down, especially when the younger whines at the emptiness as he withdraws his fingers to drizzle lube over the wand. 

_ “Show me,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers, gripping the base of his cock tightly.  _ “Fuck, put it in, you deserve it.”  _ Jongin’s only response is to shimmy back into his arched position and press the toy against his rim temptingly. The younger lets out a small cry when the first ball slips into him, his greedy hole swallowing the small bead easily. The second one follows, slightly larger, and Jongin emits a moan at the feeling of the round balls in his ass. 

“Oh my God, hyung.” Jongin’s breaths are uneven and whiny, as if he’s holding back sounds with every exhale. 

_ “Keep going. You’re going to take all of it for me.”  _ Jongin cries at this, and buries his face into the sheets when the third ball stretches his rim beautifully as it slides in. He can feel how big the fourth one is as he jostles the wand slightly, loving the feeling of being held open and stuffed full at the same time. 

_ “You wanna fuck yourself on those so bad, don’t you.”  _ Kyungsoo’s hand strokes his cock slowly, even though he feels like the slightest breeze will make him come right now. Jongin whimpers and writhes on the bed, wrist moving in little circles to press the beads already inside of him against his walls. He already sounds wrecked, and it’s beautiful.  _ “You’re a good boy,”  _ Kyungsoo coos, watching Jongin shudder and press back against the fourth bead.  _ “Go on. Make yourself feel good.”  _ He groans at Jongin’s gasp when he pulls one, two, three beads out of his hole, then slides all of them back in, savoring the friction on his rim when he does so. 

“Hyung, it’s so good.” Jongin can barely breathe as he fucks himself with half the toy. “It’s so fucking good, hyung, oh, God.” He doesn’t even know what to think as the balls sink in and out of him, fucking his hole loose and open, all inhibitions gone. 

_ “Keep going, baby, take another. You’re so sloppy right now, you’re so gorgeous.”  _ Kyungsoo’s breathing is harsh and ragged as he jacks himself off with short, harsh strokes, purposely avoiding his tip.  _ “You make me want to come so bad, fuck.”  _

“Ah--” Jongin squeezes his eyes shut at the pain-pleasure burn, pressing the wand more firmly to work the fourth bead in. It slides in smoothly, and Jongin moans as his cock leaks pre-come all over his sheets. It’s so big, and there’s still two more to go. Jongin’s thighs shake as he pulls just the fourth ball out slowly, then pushes it back in, so he can feel the stretch against his rim over and over again. 

_ “Another.”  _

“Hyung, I’m so full.” Jongin whimpers as he applies pressure, feeling the fifth ball rest against his stuffed hole. “I can’t.” 

_ “Another, baby.”  _ Jongin pants for a minute, trying to accommodate the four already buried in him. Then he bears down on the fifth, twisting the handle slightly to--

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jongin sobs as he clenches around the ball, feeling the first one press deep enough to tease his prostate. 

_ “Suchhhh a good boy. Look at you.”  _ Kyungsoo groans, long and dirty.  _ “All spread out and stuffed for me. Take it all.” _

“I can’t.” 

_ “You can.”  _

“Hyu-ng, I c-can’t.” Jongin chokes on his moans and fists the sheets desperately with his free hand. He is so full, so fucking high on pleasure that he can barely even grasp the handle of the wand with a firm grip. 

_ “You’re gonna feel so amazing, baby. You look so beautiful right now.”  _ Kyungsoo almost cries in frustration as he edges himself.  _ “Hurry up, be a good boy, let hyung come.” Let  _ him come? Jongin spasms and sobs. He can’t stop himself from crying out into the sheets as he pushes the last, final ball in, and it’s so  _ big,  _ the pressure against his prostate increasing every time he clenches around the handle of the wand. He feels like he might split at the seams.  _ “Fuck,”  _ Kyungsoo hisses, watching the younger twitch with pleasure. He’s got his Jongin all spread out and beautiful on camera, stuffed to the brim, completely ruined, and it’s way too much. Kyungsoo can’t control himself as he jacks off, fast and hard until his vision whites out.  _ “Jongin,”  _ he chokes out, and the resounding whimper in his ear only takes him higher in his haze of euphoria. His toes curl and his head tips back.  _ “Ah…”  _ He’s not sure how long it lasts, only that his boyfriend keeps on crying softly as he listens to Kyungsoo’s keens. After an eternity has passed, he finally floats back to reality, where Jongin is slowly fucking the beads in and out of himself, groaning at the feeling of the balls abusing his hole, stretching him full, then leaving him empty. Kyungsoo has just had one of the best orgasms of his life, but his traitorous dick twitches again when the last three balls simply slide out of Jongin without even grazing his rim because he’s so loose and sloppy. 

_ “Does that feel good, Nini?”  _ Kyungsoo rasps hoarsely; Jongin shudders and whines.  _ “Come for me, won’t you? My baby boy, so beautiful and full.”  _ His boyfriend presses all six balls into himself and shakily takes his leaking dick into his hand. It only takes a few strokes before Jongin sobs in relief, stripes of white covering his fingers and palm, milking the toy with clenching muscles as he climaxes.  _ “Good boy,”  _ Kyungsoo whispers, fighting to keep his eyes open as he reaches for the tissues on his desk to clean himself up. Jongin’s breathing becomes ragged, and his lithe body shines with sweat. Kyungsoo watches him, forehead pressed into the sheets, wand still buried to the hilt in his ass. Cute. Jongin reaches back with a shaky hand and whines as he pulls the toy out, presenting his loose, gaping hole to the camera before he falls onto his side and sighs heavily.

“So good,” he murmurs tiredly. “Fuck.” 

_ “You’re so… gorgeous.”  _ Kyungsoo stumbles over his words and trips over his tongue. Drowsiness hits him like a heavy weight, and he struggles to keep his eyes open. 

_ “Soo, I love you so much.” _ Jongin’s Korean is shaky and lilted, but he means every word. “I miss you more than anything.” __

_ “You’re my baby boy.”  _ Kyungsoo longs to scoop Jongin up in his arms and kiss his forehead.  _ “My baby only.”  _

_ “Yours.”  _ Jongin holds out a come-stained hand to the camera, but Kyungsoo’s gaze falls on the golden bracelet that shines in the lamp light. “We’ll find a way.” 

_ “Yes.”  _ Kyungsoo toys with his own bracelet, pushing it around until he finds the heart and Jongin’s initials. He has no idea how, but he’s going to manage. They’re going to make it.  _ “I’ll come back to you.”  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rather quick update compared to last time XD I hope the chapter title didn't give you all too much of a jumpscare :33333  
>  Also KaiSoo smut! Seems like it's been forever since they've spent some time ;) together. Nini's so cute ;-;  
>  Also Hui is back! A lot of people who disappeared in LA are making their reappearance. It's kind of nostalgic, even though it wasn't that long ago... hehe.  
>  Aranee worked on the CSS for the group chat, isn't it adorable? She's the best ～(^з^)-♡  
>  We'll see you soon! Hope you enjoyed the chapter ^_^
> 
> Kyungsoo managed to successfully remove the experiment from his thesis \o/. And got some good reward for it ;). How did you enjoy it?
> 
> Quick update this time, we are excited for Jongin to be back home, even if he is about to set out for bigger adventures to come. ChanBaek getting ready to move, and Sehun settling back into his old, comfortable life. Did you miss Hui?
> 
> Let us know in the comments what you thought about the chapter, comments are what keeps us going <3\. See you soon and thank you for reading =)!

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always appreciated and loved~ ><  
> Find me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kidonNini) or [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/kidonie_) if you're shy!


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